Saturday, October 31, 2015
Bad Driver: 270 PNM
White SUV asshole, I saw you cut in front of me with no room to spare. You are so goddamn lucky to not hit me. And I saw you slaloming through those about-to-stop cars on the way into the Lowry Tunnel at around 5:30 this evening, you fucking reckless goon. I hope the cop car I saw was tailing your ass.
I Can't Fucking Believe I'm Doing This
I'm taking this stripper home from downtown Minneapolis. At bar close. That's two hours from now. That's shitty enough, going into traffic and dodging all the fucking drunks to pick her (and her friend) up. What makes this even dumber is that I was already downtown. Yep -- I was hanging out with a friend, doing a bar crawl, just now, when she texted me. And like an idiot thinking with his penis, I said, "OK, I'll drive you home!" And I'm doing this because I touched her boobs Thursday.
And the stupidest thing of all is that she lives on the other side of town. So this is my day in terms of driving: I start off at home, on the northern side, this morning; go to work, all the way on the southern end; drive all the back up home, on the northern side; go to downtown to drink with my friend (who, by the way, sprung me this free offer for this crawl, and like with bringing this stripper home, I agreed to it, which means I am ultimately responsible for the stupid bullshit I'm about to do); drive home because I have no fucking idea why I'd be tooling around downtown for two hours; go back into downtown to pick these two up; drive her back to the southern side of the Twin Cities; then drive all the way up north so I can finally sleep. ...
... for a few hours, after which I have to get up and see these guys from my alma mater. I don't know why I fucking do this, I'm a goddamn pushover. ...
And the stupidest thing of all is that she lives on the other side of town. So this is my day in terms of driving: I start off at home, on the northern side, this morning; go to work, all the way on the southern end; drive all the back up home, on the northern side; go to downtown to drink with my friend (who, by the way, sprung me this free offer for this crawl, and like with bringing this stripper home, I agreed to it, which means I am ultimately responsible for the stupid bullshit I'm about to do); drive home because I have no fucking idea why I'd be tooling around downtown for two hours; go back into downtown to pick these two up; drive her back to the southern side of the Twin Cities; then drive all the way up north so I can finally sleep. ...
... for a few hours, after which I have to get up and see these guys from my alma mater. I don't know why I fucking do this, I'm a goddamn pushover. ...
Friday, October 30, 2015
A Big Break
I was able to get off from work early today when I didn't think I would. I should talk about how the job is going soon. Anyway, with this free time I am able to do the things I was kind of annoyed I wasn't going to be able to do this weekend, or for a while. Stuff like:
- Get a flu shot (got one on my way home; just went to the clinic and asked if I could get one right then and there and they said yes!);
- Deposit my parents' Las Vegas real estate check (they might get pissy if I don't do it as soon as it comes in);
- Deposit my own paycheck, which came today;
- Figure out what the hell's going on with the alumni club's online account (which I just fixed!)
- And put the new tabs on my folks' minivan, which I would have done after work anyway, but I can do it while the sun's still shining.
Another Weekend That Was Supposed To Be Quiet But Now Isn't
This weekend I didn't have to work the Vikings game and the college football game was actually in the afternoon. That gave me time, I believed, to finally get around to raking leaves Saturday morning before the game, go to the Gopher game after it, then have the entire Sunday to myself to either continue raking leaves, do other chores like wash dishes or do the laundry, or just watch football. Minnesota's game was moved up two hours, so instead of that I thought I could go to Hooters and My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Edition) to avoid all the trick-or-treaters Halloween evening. It still was all good.
But then over the weekend this guy reached out to me. He is the lead organizer of my alma mater's squash club team. I first met him and his team two years ago when they were up here in the Twin Cities to play in a squash tournament. Really? Do they actually have money to do this? But they were up here, and he wanted to see if we could provide a home-court advantage. I was the only one to show up, but I cheered him on nonetheless. They won the whole thing, and we went out to Matt's Bar for Jucy Lucys to celebrate before they all boarded a plane back to Los Angeles.
They said they were coming back to defend their title last year, but they didn't show. We didn't keep in touch after that, until last weekend. They are coming up to the University of Minnesota this weekend for the squash tournament, and they wanted to see if I and the alumni group wanted to see them. Now, these guys are great (well, some of them are; the guy I spoke to was awesome, and many of the team were very cordial, but some wouldn't give me the fucking time of day, so I hope they graduated), but their games are on Saturday and, potentially, Sunday morning. That eliminates any time for me to rake the leaves while there's daylight. And like two years ago, assuming they win the championship, I might be having lunch with them again, so watching the Vikings game with them is out. Add to that that Sunday is the end of Daylight Saving Time, which usually is a day where all my synapses are misfiring, and I might be having a hard time keeping up or controlling my temper.
So yet another weekend that's not to myself that will bridge workweeks that are not for my own either. Goddamn, I'm so busy. And I want to look forward to seeing these guys, but I gotta tell ya ... I wish I could just stay home for this weekend and do nothing.
But then over the weekend this guy reached out to me. He is the lead organizer of my alma mater's squash club team. I first met him and his team two years ago when they were up here in the Twin Cities to play in a squash tournament. Really? Do they actually have money to do this? But they were up here, and he wanted to see if we could provide a home-court advantage. I was the only one to show up, but I cheered him on nonetheless. They won the whole thing, and we went out to Matt's Bar for Jucy Lucys to celebrate before they all boarded a plane back to Los Angeles.
They said they were coming back to defend their title last year, but they didn't show. We didn't keep in touch after that, until last weekend. They are coming up to the University of Minnesota this weekend for the squash tournament, and they wanted to see if I and the alumni group wanted to see them. Now, these guys are great (well, some of them are; the guy I spoke to was awesome, and many of the team were very cordial, but some wouldn't give me the fucking time of day, so I hope they graduated), but their games are on Saturday and, potentially, Sunday morning. That eliminates any time for me to rake the leaves while there's daylight. And like two years ago, assuming they win the championship, I might be having lunch with them again, so watching the Vikings game with them is out. Add to that that Sunday is the end of Daylight Saving Time, which usually is a day where all my synapses are misfiring, and I might be having a hard time keeping up or controlling my temper.
So yet another weekend that's not to myself that will bridge workweeks that are not for my own either. Goddamn, I'm so busy. And I want to look forward to seeing these guys, but I gotta tell ya ... I wish I could just stay home for this weekend and do nothing.
Thursday, October 29, 2015
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
Before I begin, I have to note that the Minnesota sports scene has never had a week like this. First, Flip Saunders, Head Coach, General Manager and part-Owner of the Minnesota Timberwolves, died from Hodgkins' Lymphoma Sunday. Then on Monday, Torii Hunter retired after 19 years of playing in the big leagues, most of them (and his very last season) with the organization he came up with, the Twins. Finally, on Wednesday, Jerry Kill retired as Head Coach of the University of Minnesota football team, effective immediately, due to health concerns over his epilepsy. Two HC departures, two retirements, one death -- all abrupt, all within a span of four days. My God, we live in interesting times.
The news on Saunders and Kill affect the standings of the Timberwolves and the U. football team. But sorry, Torii, your departure isn't enough for me to bring the Twins back into the WMNSS to talk about them. You're one of the most beloved figures in recent Twins history, this generation's Kent Hrbek, and you'll have a place in the franchise's Ring Of Honor someday soon. But we are talking about two head coaching changes, both shockers, one due to ailing health and the other due to death. It doesn't compare.
Positive Numbers: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: 0). Things are looking good, very good, for the Gopher v-ball team. They went 3-0 this week. They got through arguably the toughest remaining stretch in their Big Ten schedule by beating then-third-ranked Nebraska in four sets and sweeping Iowa last weekend ... both on the road. They then came home to the Sports Pavilion and swept Indiana. Junior Middle Blocker Hannah Tapp was named Sports Imports/AVCA Div. I Woman Player Of The Week, the first Gopher to be given that award since Lauren Gibbemeyer Sep. 16, 2008. The conference named Tapp Co-Player Of The Week in the conference and also named Samantha Seliger-Swenson Setter and Co-Freshman Of The Week. Best of all, Minnesota, which began the year unranked, jumped from ninth to fourth in the AVCA Top 25 poll as a result of their victories over the Cornhuskers and Hawkeyes. It's the first time they've been this high in six years.
I pumped the brakes last week, but I have no excuse to give this club anything less than the + side this survey, especially since they currently lead the conference with a 10-1 record, are on a nine-game winning streak, and have won 18 of their last 19 matches. And they have a chance to polish their bona fides Sunday afternoon when they host 17th-ranked Purdue.
#0: Vikings (Last Week: -1). Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second ... Chris Burke of SI.com says the Vikings are the sixth-best team in the NFL as of Week 7? Just because they've won two games in a row? If that's really the case, this is what you call parity.
Look, I am glad that the squad is 4-2. But listening to some parts of the Detroit game on the radio (I spent the early part of the afternoon at Brit's Pub watching the Rugby World Cup semifinal between Australia and Argentina) I wasn't all that impressed. First of all, the Vikes fell behind the Lions in the first quarter. And then, even though they came back and took the lead, they had two very long drives that bogged down close to the Detroit goal line. They had to settle for a pair of Field Goals when they should have gotten Touchdowns; that was eight points they left on the table. Minnesota finally won comfortably, 28-19, but it should have been a wider margin. We Vikings fans still can't exhale until the game is over.
I guess I see signs of improvement. The defense is starting to gel; even though these are the Lions, they got to Quarterback Matthew Stafford a lot. I also think Teddy Bridgewater has the brain, if not necessarily the arm, to stick in the league and even be a very good QB. But there still are a bunch of role players in the receiving corps. I mean, Stefon Diggs had a great lay-out in the end zone for that TD (which makes me glad, since I now have him on my fantasy team), but I thought Mike Wallace was going to be Teddy's go-to guy, and that was after I thought Charles Johnson was going to be Teddy's go-to guy. And the offensive gameplan still revolves around the running game, and I'm sorry, but Adrian Peterson, seafood allergy or accidental consumption of snuff or what have you, has lost a step. His boom-or-bust game has been even more accentuated this year; he had a 50+-yard rush but about a dozen carries where he lost yardage. Is that a championship offensive MO?
Well, at least they are still in the easiest part of their schedule. This Sunday they travel to a beaten and demoralized Chicago team. They've got to be able to win this one, right? Let's just they can finish drives with TDs instead of FGs this time.
#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -5). Finally, this team gets off the schneid. It took what appears to be a mediocre Northeastern program, but not only did they sweep them, they actually started to score goals. The U., which had been able to put the puck in the net once in their first three games (all losses), ripped the Huskies on Friday 4-0 and held on for a 4-3 win Saturday. Gophers took the top two spots in the B1G's Three Stars Of The Week; Freshman Goalie Eric Schierhorn stopped all 23 Northeastern shots in the former game, and Junior Defenseman Michael Brodzinski tallied a goal and two assists in the latter.
I was at the game Friday. Well, I was late. I was there early, but they wouldn't let me in with the large umbrella I carried with me in the drizzle. Weird; I was able to bring it in two years ago. Instead of throwing it in their big tub and risking never seeing it again (I won the umbrella, with screenprints from the comic strips run by the Star Tribune, at a raffle in junior high and I want to keep it for sentimental reasons), I took it all the way back to my car. I wasn't mad, even though I missed almost the first half of the first period and I wasn't able to witness the three goals the squad scored because I was in the bathroom or getting a hot dog and Coke. The security people had a job to do (I swear I saw the guy who told me I couldn't take the umbrella in when I was working the Vikings game once) and I didn't know I couldn't bring it in, so I didn't blame myself. In the meantime, I got some exercise walking to and from my car, and I needed that.
I don't know if this is the start of something good or if the weekend masked the team's youth. I learned last week that the top three scorers from last season's tournament team are gone, and the next three-highest scorers are being called upon to lead the others and have them grown up as soon as possible. Good luck with that. At least they are off this screening week.
#-2: Wild (Last Week: -2). So far, the one biggest change to this club is that they seem to be scoring a lot. I'm not sure if it's the players getting a year older and wiser, or if they are building chemistry with each other, or if it's the rejuvenated power play. But they scored 14 goals in their 3-1 week, keeping Columbus winless, outlasting Edmonton and shutting out Anaheim. Even in their only defeat of the screening week they were down to Winnipeg 5-1 before scoring three third-period goals. Right now, you can't say that the Mild aren't going to be in it.
But the week has continued something dispiriting: The games they won all were at home, and the game they lost was on the road. In fact, of the five games they've played away from home, three of them were defeats. Of course, that's balanced out by the fact that they so far are 4-0 at the X. They hope that continues when they host rapist Patrick Kane and the defending Stanley Cup champion Chicago Blackhawks Friday. Then they make an immediate turnaround and play at St. Louis Saturday night. Huh?
Oh, one more thing: Zach Parise is playing like a man possessed right now.
#-3: Timberwolves (Re-Entry!). Guess this is how you keep an important sports figure's declining health hush-hush. The Timberwolves Public Relations department gave out daily updates on the health of Flip Saunders. Since, presumably, there was no change to his prognosis or diagnosis, the media didn't see it fit to report that Saunders is still doing OK. Well, at some point a few weeks ago, the press releases stopped. We the public didn't know that, but media types understood that that meant that something very, very bad has happened. So they knew; for the public, his death came as a blindside tackle by J.J. Watt.
We can discuss the legacy of Flip Saunders are little more critically some other time. Yes, he led the team to eight straight one-and-done series, and there really was only one year where the Woofie Dogs were really good, and that was because Glen Taylor broke the bank in order for Kevin Garnett to be surrounded by Sam Cassell and Latrell Sprewell. But before and after his tenure as Head Coach, this fucking franchise wasn't and isn't shit. That has to say something good about Saunders. Also, I wasn't aware that after Minnesota, he took the Detroit Pistons to three Eastern Conference Finals.
But possibly most impressive is that Saunders, an Ohio native, became One Of Us. Minnesotans are notorious for being aloof towards outsiders, but since choosing to play for the U., he has become a Minnesotan. And he had all the stereotypical traits of a Minnesotan -- self-deprecation, a quiet countenance, humility and humor. He exhibited those qualities so well that I think that a more successful Head Coach that could bring the Wolves NBA championships would not be as beloved as Saunders.
When I worked for the radio station I took in a couple of his post-game press conferences. He never spoke to me one-on-one, but he seemed like a nice guy. I have heard from many reporters that he is one of the few NBA HCs that was affable towards the media because Saunders understood that they have a job to do and, therefore, he didn't make them feel inferior when they were asking him questions. Another Minnesota characteristic! Also, my friend, who works as an usher at Target Center, would oftentimes open the door for Saunders when he went into work and would sometimes make small talk with him. In times like this, when we're looking at the bigger picture, just being a nice guy is way more important than your win-loss record. So, my prayers and thoughts are with the Saunders family and family, and with the Timberwolves organization.
The T-Wolves are going to at least start the season with the death of their Head Coach and General Manager over their heads. So far, so good. Well, it started off bad, really bad. They were down to The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers by 16 points in the third quarter out in Los Angeles. But maybe due to the inspiration of Flip Saunders, or maybe due to the fact that they have this year's overall #1 draft pick, Karl-Anthony Towns, to go with last year's overall #1 pick, Andrew Wiggins, or maybe due to the fact that Point Guard Ricky Rubio is healthy (at least for now) and scored a career-high 28 points, or maybe due to the fact that the Lakers remain, shockingly, a carcass of their legendary legacy, the T-Wolves came all the way back to win, 112-111. I'm not sure if, like the Gopher men's hockey team, this shows pluck or the fact that they'll struggle to beat bad teams. But better to win than to lose.
This week: They play at Denver Friday. Then on Monday they play their first game at Target Center against Portland. The Flip Saunders memorial patches should be ready for the team's uniforms by then.
#-4: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -3). If I haven't said this before, I'll say it again: There is very poor consensus when it comes to judging women's college soccer teams and how they compare with each other. There are a couple polls in the sport, and they are in agreement with very few teams. Moreover, those polls may have the same program up to a dozen spots apart. There has got to be a way to fix this, because no one knows how good a team really is.
Moreover, it often looks as though a club's record is not indicative of their chances of making the NCAA tournament, nor is it a reflection of its RPI, the main determinant in whether or not the team makes the tourney. To wit: The Golden Goofs. They finished the regular season on a four-match winless streak; this week came a pair of 3-1 losses, at Rutgers Friday and home to Illinois (which needed the win in order to clinch the eighth and final spot in the Big Ten conference tournament). This team, which not too long ago was in the driver's seat to win the conference regular-season title, finishes as the sixth seed in the tourney and will, once again, face Rutgers in Piscataway, N.J., this Sunday afternoon.
And yet, despite that tailspin of a finish, not only is one sport prognosticator saying that Minnesota is OK in reaching the tournament, but they are safely in. In fact, Chris Henderson of Hero Sports, in his post-Sunday bracketology column (which means that he wrote this after the Gophers lost to Rutgers but before they lost to Illinois), thought that the U. would -- get this -- be a projected #4 seed and thus, presumably, host the first two rounds of the NCAAs. Huh?
Credit, I reckon, goes to the side's RPI, which is 25th best. That is heavily influenced by their Strength Of Schedule, which is ranked by Hero as 26th-toughest in top-flight women's college soccer. Again, this was tabulated over the weekend, which means that the RPI and SOS could get dinged because of the upset loss at home to the Illini. But if the NCAA Selection Committee does pick and seed the tournament the same way Henderson believes they will, the U. is not a bubble team regardless of what happens Sunday. And if the Gophs win a game or two, they may very be named one of the 16 best teams for the tournament. In the meantime, teams such as Wisconsin, who is ranked second for the B1G Tourney, is projected to be squarely on the bubble heading into these next two weekends because their SOS is weak. See what I mean when I say women's soccer prognostication is so weird?
#-5: Gopher football (Last Week: -4). I once thought Jerry Kill should resign. But after collapsing on the sidelines and then taking most of the 2013 season off to recover from his epileptic seizures, he seemed to be getting it under control. And after last year, when they finished 8-5 and played in the program's first New Year's Day Bowl in decades, he seemed to be a godsend. Yes, I thought, I was wrong. Keep Jerry Kill here in Minnesota at all costs.
But it all came crashing down, suddenly, Wednesday morning, when, citing continuing problems with epilepsy and the effects from it, he resigned as Head Coach at the U., effective immediately. Like with Saunders, the public didn't really see what was going on. The seizures came back, including two of them before Tuesday's practice. He wasn't taking his medication on gamedays because he couldn't focus, so he skipped them and risked getting seizures again. And lately, possibly as a result of the team's rough start to the year, he was sleeping as little as three hours a night. His wife got so worried that he caught her watching him several nights a week.
"Hell, that ain't no way to live," Kill said in an unprecedented, emotion-filled press conference where he announced his retirement. This was not your usual canned press conference; this is one where every statement uttered rang true and came from the heart. What we saw is a man who, under advisement from doctors, decided he had to walk away from the thing that made him the happiest because, no pun intended, it was killing him. Guess here is no journalist has ever seen something like that before and will never see the likes of ever again.
He hasn't put in long enough roots in Minnesota as Saunders did. Also, if the rough start to the football team continued, you can bet that there would be many of the Gopher faithful who would have called for him to be fired. But the accolades for Kill, the coach and the man, have been pouring in everywhere -- from players to administrators to writers to fellow coaches. Unanimously they say Kill is one of the good ones, a Head Coach who truly has his kids' futures in his mind. Just as important, even with the setbacks that this season has given him, Kill has given the University of Minnesota football progam a sense of competence and dignity, something it hasn't had in years. And he has done a lot of work with his just-started Chasing Dreams Foundation to help kids with epilepsy. Hopefully he'll find some new purpose with that, or with something else.
In the meantime, the direction of the University of Minnesota football program will now be guided by Defensive Coordinator Tracy Claeys. He said in his press conference Wednesday evening that it is his intention to be the Head Coach at the U. Well, he has five extremely tough games to prove he should be, beginning with a Halloween date with Jim Harbaugh and the newly-revived Michigan program Halloween evening.
One other thing to note. As weird as these past several days have been for Minnesota sports fans, the season continues to get stranger and strangers for the U. of M. athletic program. I haven't seen highlights of the Claeys conference, but I assume that Acting Athletic Director Beth Goetz introduced him. Please understand the tableau: The Interim Head football Coach was introduced by the Interim Athletic Director. Things are kind of fucked up over there, isn't it?
The news on Saunders and Kill affect the standings of the Timberwolves and the U. football team. But sorry, Torii, your departure isn't enough for me to bring the Twins back into the WMNSS to talk about them. You're one of the most beloved figures in recent Twins history, this generation's Kent Hrbek, and you'll have a place in the franchise's Ring Of Honor someday soon. But we are talking about two head coaching changes, both shockers, one due to ailing health and the other due to death. It doesn't compare.
Positive Numbers: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: 0). Things are looking good, very good, for the Gopher v-ball team. They went 3-0 this week. They got through arguably the toughest remaining stretch in their Big Ten schedule by beating then-third-ranked Nebraska in four sets and sweeping Iowa last weekend ... both on the road. They then came home to the Sports Pavilion and swept Indiana. Junior Middle Blocker Hannah Tapp was named Sports Imports/AVCA Div. I Woman Player Of The Week, the first Gopher to be given that award since Lauren Gibbemeyer Sep. 16, 2008. The conference named Tapp Co-Player Of The Week in the conference and also named Samantha Seliger-Swenson Setter and Co-Freshman Of The Week. Best of all, Minnesota, which began the year unranked, jumped from ninth to fourth in the AVCA Top 25 poll as a result of their victories over the Cornhuskers and Hawkeyes. It's the first time they've been this high in six years.
I pumped the brakes last week, but I have no excuse to give this club anything less than the + side this survey, especially since they currently lead the conference with a 10-1 record, are on a nine-game winning streak, and have won 18 of their last 19 matches. And they have a chance to polish their bona fides Sunday afternoon when they host 17th-ranked Purdue.
#0: Vikings (Last Week: -1). Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second ... Chris Burke of SI.com says the Vikings are the sixth-best team in the NFL as of Week 7? Just because they've won two games in a row? If that's really the case, this is what you call parity.
Look, I am glad that the squad is 4-2. But listening to some parts of the Detroit game on the radio (I spent the early part of the afternoon at Brit's Pub watching the Rugby World Cup semifinal between Australia and Argentina) I wasn't all that impressed. First of all, the Vikes fell behind the Lions in the first quarter. And then, even though they came back and took the lead, they had two very long drives that bogged down close to the Detroit goal line. They had to settle for a pair of Field Goals when they should have gotten Touchdowns; that was eight points they left on the table. Minnesota finally won comfortably, 28-19, but it should have been a wider margin. We Vikings fans still can't exhale until the game is over.
I guess I see signs of improvement. The defense is starting to gel; even though these are the Lions, they got to Quarterback Matthew Stafford a lot. I also think Teddy Bridgewater has the brain, if not necessarily the arm, to stick in the league and even be a very good QB. But there still are a bunch of role players in the receiving corps. I mean, Stefon Diggs had a great lay-out in the end zone for that TD (which makes me glad, since I now have him on my fantasy team), but I thought Mike Wallace was going to be Teddy's go-to guy, and that was after I thought Charles Johnson was going to be Teddy's go-to guy. And the offensive gameplan still revolves around the running game, and I'm sorry, but Adrian Peterson, seafood allergy or accidental consumption of snuff or what have you, has lost a step. His boom-or-bust game has been even more accentuated this year; he had a 50+-yard rush but about a dozen carries where he lost yardage. Is that a championship offensive MO?
Well, at least they are still in the easiest part of their schedule. This Sunday they travel to a beaten and demoralized Chicago team. They've got to be able to win this one, right? Let's just they can finish drives with TDs instead of FGs this time.
#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -5). Finally, this team gets off the schneid. It took what appears to be a mediocre Northeastern program, but not only did they sweep them, they actually started to score goals. The U., which had been able to put the puck in the net once in their first three games (all losses), ripped the Huskies on Friday 4-0 and held on for a 4-3 win Saturday. Gophers took the top two spots in the B1G's Three Stars Of The Week; Freshman Goalie Eric Schierhorn stopped all 23 Northeastern shots in the former game, and Junior Defenseman Michael Brodzinski tallied a goal and two assists in the latter.
I was at the game Friday. Well, I was late. I was there early, but they wouldn't let me in with the large umbrella I carried with me in the drizzle. Weird; I was able to bring it in two years ago. Instead of throwing it in their big tub and risking never seeing it again (I won the umbrella, with screenprints from the comic strips run by the Star Tribune, at a raffle in junior high and I want to keep it for sentimental reasons), I took it all the way back to my car. I wasn't mad, even though I missed almost the first half of the first period and I wasn't able to witness the three goals the squad scored because I was in the bathroom or getting a hot dog and Coke. The security people had a job to do (I swear I saw the guy who told me I couldn't take the umbrella in when I was working the Vikings game once) and I didn't know I couldn't bring it in, so I didn't blame myself. In the meantime, I got some exercise walking to and from my car, and I needed that.
I don't know if this is the start of something good or if the weekend masked the team's youth. I learned last week that the top three scorers from last season's tournament team are gone, and the next three-highest scorers are being called upon to lead the others and have them grown up as soon as possible. Good luck with that. At least they are off this screening week.
#-2: Wild (Last Week: -2). So far, the one biggest change to this club is that they seem to be scoring a lot. I'm not sure if it's the players getting a year older and wiser, or if they are building chemistry with each other, or if it's the rejuvenated power play. But they scored 14 goals in their 3-1 week, keeping Columbus winless, outlasting Edmonton and shutting out Anaheim. Even in their only defeat of the screening week they were down to Winnipeg 5-1 before scoring three third-period goals. Right now, you can't say that the Mild aren't going to be in it.
But the week has continued something dispiriting: The games they won all were at home, and the game they lost was on the road. In fact, of the five games they've played away from home, three of them were defeats. Of course, that's balanced out by the fact that they so far are 4-0 at the X. They hope that continues when they host rapist Patrick Kane and the defending Stanley Cup champion Chicago Blackhawks Friday. Then they make an immediate turnaround and play at St. Louis Saturday night. Huh?
Oh, one more thing: Zach Parise is playing like a man possessed right now.
#-3: Timberwolves (Re-Entry!). Guess this is how you keep an important sports figure's declining health hush-hush. The Timberwolves Public Relations department gave out daily updates on the health of Flip Saunders. Since, presumably, there was no change to his prognosis or diagnosis, the media didn't see it fit to report that Saunders is still doing OK. Well, at some point a few weeks ago, the press releases stopped. We the public didn't know that, but media types understood that that meant that something very, very bad has happened. So they knew; for the public, his death came as a blindside tackle by J.J. Watt.
We can discuss the legacy of Flip Saunders are little more critically some other time. Yes, he led the team to eight straight one-and-done series, and there really was only one year where the Woofie Dogs were really good, and that was because Glen Taylor broke the bank in order for Kevin Garnett to be surrounded by Sam Cassell and Latrell Sprewell. But before and after his tenure as Head Coach, this fucking franchise wasn't and isn't shit. That has to say something good about Saunders. Also, I wasn't aware that after Minnesota, he took the Detroit Pistons to three Eastern Conference Finals.
But possibly most impressive is that Saunders, an Ohio native, became One Of Us. Minnesotans are notorious for being aloof towards outsiders, but since choosing to play for the U., he has become a Minnesotan. And he had all the stereotypical traits of a Minnesotan -- self-deprecation, a quiet countenance, humility and humor. He exhibited those qualities so well that I think that a more successful Head Coach that could bring the Wolves NBA championships would not be as beloved as Saunders.
When I worked for the radio station I took in a couple of his post-game press conferences. He never spoke to me one-on-one, but he seemed like a nice guy. I have heard from many reporters that he is one of the few NBA HCs that was affable towards the media because Saunders understood that they have a job to do and, therefore, he didn't make them feel inferior when they were asking him questions. Another Minnesota characteristic! Also, my friend, who works as an usher at Target Center, would oftentimes open the door for Saunders when he went into work and would sometimes make small talk with him. In times like this, when we're looking at the bigger picture, just being a nice guy is way more important than your win-loss record. So, my prayers and thoughts are with the Saunders family and family, and with the Timberwolves organization.
The T-Wolves are going to at least start the season with the death of their Head Coach and General Manager over their heads. So far, so good. Well, it started off bad, really bad. They were down to The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers by 16 points in the third quarter out in Los Angeles. But maybe due to the inspiration of Flip Saunders, or maybe due to the fact that they have this year's overall #1 draft pick, Karl-Anthony Towns, to go with last year's overall #1 pick, Andrew Wiggins, or maybe due to the fact that Point Guard Ricky Rubio is healthy (at least for now) and scored a career-high 28 points, or maybe due to the fact that the Lakers remain, shockingly, a carcass of their legendary legacy, the T-Wolves came all the way back to win, 112-111. I'm not sure if, like the Gopher men's hockey team, this shows pluck or the fact that they'll struggle to beat bad teams. But better to win than to lose.
This week: They play at Denver Friday. Then on Monday they play their first game at Target Center against Portland. The Flip Saunders memorial patches should be ready for the team's uniforms by then.
#-4: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -3). If I haven't said this before, I'll say it again: There is very poor consensus when it comes to judging women's college soccer teams and how they compare with each other. There are a couple polls in the sport, and they are in agreement with very few teams. Moreover, those polls may have the same program up to a dozen spots apart. There has got to be a way to fix this, because no one knows how good a team really is.
Moreover, it often looks as though a club's record is not indicative of their chances of making the NCAA tournament, nor is it a reflection of its RPI, the main determinant in whether or not the team makes the tourney. To wit: The Golden Goofs. They finished the regular season on a four-match winless streak; this week came a pair of 3-1 losses, at Rutgers Friday and home to Illinois (which needed the win in order to clinch the eighth and final spot in the Big Ten conference tournament). This team, which not too long ago was in the driver's seat to win the conference regular-season title, finishes as the sixth seed in the tourney and will, once again, face Rutgers in Piscataway, N.J., this Sunday afternoon.
And yet, despite that tailspin of a finish, not only is one sport prognosticator saying that Minnesota is OK in reaching the tournament, but they are safely in. In fact, Chris Henderson of Hero Sports, in his post-Sunday bracketology column (which means that he wrote this after the Gophers lost to Rutgers but before they lost to Illinois), thought that the U. would -- get this -- be a projected #4 seed and thus, presumably, host the first two rounds of the NCAAs. Huh?
Credit, I reckon, goes to the side's RPI, which is 25th best. That is heavily influenced by their Strength Of Schedule, which is ranked by Hero as 26th-toughest in top-flight women's college soccer. Again, this was tabulated over the weekend, which means that the RPI and SOS could get dinged because of the upset loss at home to the Illini. But if the NCAA Selection Committee does pick and seed the tournament the same way Henderson believes they will, the U. is not a bubble team regardless of what happens Sunday. And if the Gophs win a game or two, they may very be named one of the 16 best teams for the tournament. In the meantime, teams such as Wisconsin, who is ranked second for the B1G Tourney, is projected to be squarely on the bubble heading into these next two weekends because their SOS is weak. See what I mean when I say women's soccer prognostication is so weird?
#-5: Gopher football (Last Week: -4). I once thought Jerry Kill should resign. But after collapsing on the sidelines and then taking most of the 2013 season off to recover from his epileptic seizures, he seemed to be getting it under control. And after last year, when they finished 8-5 and played in the program's first New Year's Day Bowl in decades, he seemed to be a godsend. Yes, I thought, I was wrong. Keep Jerry Kill here in Minnesota at all costs.
But it all came crashing down, suddenly, Wednesday morning, when, citing continuing problems with epilepsy and the effects from it, he resigned as Head Coach at the U., effective immediately. Like with Saunders, the public didn't really see what was going on. The seizures came back, including two of them before Tuesday's practice. He wasn't taking his medication on gamedays because he couldn't focus, so he skipped them and risked getting seizures again. And lately, possibly as a result of the team's rough start to the year, he was sleeping as little as three hours a night. His wife got so worried that he caught her watching him several nights a week.
"Hell, that ain't no way to live," Kill said in an unprecedented, emotion-filled press conference where he announced his retirement. This was not your usual canned press conference; this is one where every statement uttered rang true and came from the heart. What we saw is a man who, under advisement from doctors, decided he had to walk away from the thing that made him the happiest because, no pun intended, it was killing him. Guess here is no journalist has ever seen something like that before and will never see the likes of ever again.
He hasn't put in long enough roots in Minnesota as Saunders did. Also, if the rough start to the football team continued, you can bet that there would be many of the Gopher faithful who would have called for him to be fired. But the accolades for Kill, the coach and the man, have been pouring in everywhere -- from players to administrators to writers to fellow coaches. Unanimously they say Kill is one of the good ones, a Head Coach who truly has his kids' futures in his mind. Just as important, even with the setbacks that this season has given him, Kill has given the University of Minnesota football progam a sense of competence and dignity, something it hasn't had in years. And he has done a lot of work with his just-started Chasing Dreams Foundation to help kids with epilepsy. Hopefully he'll find some new purpose with that, or with something else.
In the meantime, the direction of the University of Minnesota football program will now be guided by Defensive Coordinator Tracy Claeys. He said in his press conference Wednesday evening that it is his intention to be the Head Coach at the U. Well, he has five extremely tough games to prove he should be, beginning with a Halloween date with Jim Harbaugh and the newly-revived Michigan program Halloween evening.
One other thing to note. As weird as these past several days have been for Minnesota sports fans, the season continues to get stranger and strangers for the U. of M. athletic program. I haven't seen highlights of the Claeys conference, but I assume that Acting Athletic Director Beth Goetz introduced him. Please understand the tableau: The Interim Head football Coach was introduced by the Interim Athletic Director. Things are kind of fucked up over there, isn't it?
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Just My Fucking Luck
There has been less panic needed on the part of my parents to call back and check on the mail. Most of the stuff they'd be worried about is in regards to their real estate properties, and although Mother bitches about them, I think they're doing a better (or at least a more professional) job putting out any fires. They has (or at least should) alleviate my parents' hectoring, and that means less frequent calls home. They're in China right now, where wi-fi is spotty, but the breaks inbetween times where they are at a modern hotel that has wi-fi isn't a source of concern. Well, at least on my end, anyway.
Therefore, that allows me to go out at night not worried that they'll call or leave a message asking me if this has come or whether I've done that. OK, even if they do call every day and night asking me about shit -- like they did the previous times they've been away for long periods of time -- I still go out and I still don't care. Like last (Tuesday) night, where, after work, I went to the Mall of America to buy replacement iPhone chargers. (I went there for a couple other things, neither of which I was able to do; that might be a good subject for a blog post later, if I remember.) I went after work so I could wait out the traffic, but even then it took long enough whereby I didn't have time to go home before the 7 o'clock showing of The Intern, so I went from the Megamall straight to the movie theater. I had to go to the gas station to deposit some checks and then I could come home. By then it was close to 10 o'clock, about 14 1/2 hours after I left home. Damn, these are long days.
When I turned on my phone and picked up the house wi-fi network I saw that they WhatsApped me. And just my luck, it wasn't Mother, like it has been every single time we've communicated. It came from the account of My Fucking Father. Assuming it is My Fucking Father and not Mother (and I'll admit that there's a possibility they use their WhatsApp accounts interchangeably, I don't know), goddamn I'll be in some deep made-up shit from him in the morning. I'll be able to feel him yelling through the texts, something about getting him the sleeping pills he's addicted to, or the eggs that I need to pack, or some other thing he thinks fit to yell at me over. Goddamn -- I take one evening out on the town for myself and of course that's the time they try to fucking contact me.
Therefore, that allows me to go out at night not worried that they'll call or leave a message asking me if this has come or whether I've done that. OK, even if they do call every day and night asking me about shit -- like they did the previous times they've been away for long periods of time -- I still go out and I still don't care. Like last (Tuesday) night, where, after work, I went to the Mall of America to buy replacement iPhone chargers. (I went there for a couple other things, neither of which I was able to do; that might be a good subject for a blog post later, if I remember.) I went after work so I could wait out the traffic, but even then it took long enough whereby I didn't have time to go home before the 7 o'clock showing of The Intern, so I went from the Megamall straight to the movie theater. I had to go to the gas station to deposit some checks and then I could come home. By then it was close to 10 o'clock, about 14 1/2 hours after I left home. Damn, these are long days.
When I turned on my phone and picked up the house wi-fi network I saw that they WhatsApped me. And just my luck, it wasn't Mother, like it has been every single time we've communicated. It came from the account of My Fucking Father. Assuming it is My Fucking Father and not Mother (and I'll admit that there's a possibility they use their WhatsApp accounts interchangeably, I don't know), goddamn I'll be in some deep made-up shit from him in the morning. I'll be able to feel him yelling through the texts, something about getting him the sleeping pills he's addicted to, or the eggs that I need to pack, or some other thing he thinks fit to yell at me over. Goddamn -- I take one evening out on the town for myself and of course that's the time they try to fucking contact me.
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
That One Facebook Friend
I have this Facebook friend, but one that I have met in person, that constantly posts stuff on her feed, dozens of them, every fucking day. It's very annoying to plow through all the Notifications (and I click on every single new one), and see that of the 20 or so new ones, half of them are from her. And they take two forms. One form is tedious updates of every single boring piece of minutia at the beginning of each day, talking about the weather (she lives in Tampa), what she's going to do, what she hopes to accomplish, and a little self-pep talk to get her going. The other form are all these inspirational memes and links and GIFs and pictures and ... I don't know what you call that shit, but it looks as though she spends all her waking hours posting these on her page, and since I'm her friend, I get them on my Notifications. An occasional one of those are fine, and some of them are really touching. She apparently has been affected by suicide, for example, so I have, on occasion, Shared her memes related to suicide. But most of the time they're the annoying "you can do it!" messages that she seems unduly fixated on.
I Like all of them, even though I secretly hate most of them. Well, it's not like I hate them; they're fine in and of themselves. But slogging through ten of these trite mottoes that are intended to brighten up my (and more likely her) day every single day gets to be a chore. I use to enjoy seeing what Notifications I get every time I login to Facebook; now, I don't.
But I am not at the point where I will defriend her. Why? She used to be a stripper up at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition). She even let me touch her boobs a couple times when I got lap dances from her there, something which is a definite no-no. Because of that, I will accept all of these tiresome updates. But if this keeps up, who knows? Is there a way to still be friends with someone without seeing her Notifications?
I Like all of them, even though I secretly hate most of them. Well, it's not like I hate them; they're fine in and of themselves. But slogging through ten of these trite mottoes that are intended to brighten up my (and more likely her) day every single day gets to be a chore. I use to enjoy seeing what Notifications I get every time I login to Facebook; now, I don't.
But I am not at the point where I will defriend her. Why? She used to be a stripper up at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition). She even let me touch her boobs a couple times when I got lap dances from her there, something which is a definite no-no. Because of that, I will accept all of these tiresome updates. But if this keeps up, who knows? Is there a way to still be friends with someone without seeing her Notifications?
Monday, October 26, 2015
People Who Should Be Fired: The Bitch Ticket Lady At The Concert Tonight
It's not totally her fault. I went downtown to catch a concert by a group for the second time, which I usually never do, but it was the weekend and my parents aren't here to judge me, so I went. The tickets were $15, and I thought that was reasonable. But when I went up to the box office, I had to pay $17. What the fuck?
Later in the concert I remembered that when I had to buy wrestling tickets for my friend and I, they also tacked on a service fee. But I thought that was because I bought them at the restaurant next door. I just checked the FAQ, and it points out that there are service fees only if you buy them at that restaurant. So I thought buying them in person would save me that service fee. Guess not.
See, this is why I buy tickets from scalpers. Once you agree on a price, that's the price. Meanwhile I've been told that $15 is, in fact, not $15. I'm not used to that, and I don't want to ever get used to that.
But what really incensed me is the girl who I gave my hard-earned money too. I couldn't help but roll my eyes and whine a bit. Do you know what she said? "There's nothing I can do about it." Well, no fucking shit there's nothing you can do about it! It's a service fee, and she didn't look like someone who had the power to override the charge by swiping her supervisor card. Whenever I hear something like that, that person is doing a very lame job of explaining the situation while doing his (or in this case her) best to abdicate responsibility for it. Responsibility I didn't assign to her when I, in frustration, snapped back at her nothing excuse, "I didn't say that you could do anything about it!"
Our "conversation" went straight down into the volcano pit from there. I sure as hell didn't want to speak to her more than I absolutely had to, and I'm sure she felt the same way. Yet she said something to me that I could not hear at all, even though I was standing less than a foot from her, because the opening act was playing. (Good music, BTW, it just doesn't facilitate talking at a normal level.) I thought she was just muttering something to the effect of, "Thank you" (even though she obviously wouldn't mean it), but she nonchalantly showed me her wrist, meaning that she needed to stamp my wrist and give me my ticket. From looking at her and remembering that she refused to raise her voice at all so I could hear her, I know that she thought I was stupid. To which I reply, Bitch, you want to be understood, speak up. This is a rock club. You know, with loud music. Loud enough to drown out voices. Like yours.
And oh, by the way, having pink streaks in your hair doesn't make you edgy. I can tell you live in fucking Burnsville with your parents, so stop acting like you're some damn rocker chick, you poseur.
Later in the concert I remembered that when I had to buy wrestling tickets for my friend and I, they also tacked on a service fee. But I thought that was because I bought them at the restaurant next door. I just checked the FAQ, and it points out that there are service fees only if you buy them at that restaurant. So I thought buying them in person would save me that service fee. Guess not.
See, this is why I buy tickets from scalpers. Once you agree on a price, that's the price. Meanwhile I've been told that $15 is, in fact, not $15. I'm not used to that, and I don't want to ever get used to that.
But what really incensed me is the girl who I gave my hard-earned money too. I couldn't help but roll my eyes and whine a bit. Do you know what she said? "There's nothing I can do about it." Well, no fucking shit there's nothing you can do about it! It's a service fee, and she didn't look like someone who had the power to override the charge by swiping her supervisor card. Whenever I hear something like that, that person is doing a very lame job of explaining the situation while doing his (or in this case her) best to abdicate responsibility for it. Responsibility I didn't assign to her when I, in frustration, snapped back at her nothing excuse, "I didn't say that you could do anything about it!"
Our "conversation" went straight down into the volcano pit from there. I sure as hell didn't want to speak to her more than I absolutely had to, and I'm sure she felt the same way. Yet she said something to me that I could not hear at all, even though I was standing less than a foot from her, because the opening act was playing. (Good music, BTW, it just doesn't facilitate talking at a normal level.) I thought she was just muttering something to the effect of, "Thank you" (even though she obviously wouldn't mean it), but she nonchalantly showed me her wrist, meaning that she needed to stamp my wrist and give me my ticket. From looking at her and remembering that she refused to raise her voice at all so I could hear her, I know that she thought I was stupid. To which I reply, Bitch, you want to be understood, speak up. This is a rock club. You know, with loud music. Loud enough to drown out voices. Like yours.
And oh, by the way, having pink streaks in your hair doesn't make you edgy. I can tell you live in fucking Burnsville with your parents, so stop acting like you're some damn rocker chick, you poseur.
Sunday, October 25, 2015
Fancy Seeing You Here
Way back when I first stepped into My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) I had to swallow hard and cast away/accept my paranoid fear that I would either get caught or see someone there that I know from my "public" life. That hasn't happened, therefore I have felt quite comfortable relaxing and looking at boobs knowing that no one will rat me out.
Until yesterday (Saturday) afternoon. I went to the bar, and across from it I spied an older, schlumpy-looking guy with unkempt white hair. As my eyes stopped glancing around the bar and locked in on him -- who, luckily, was not looking my way when I did -- I instantly thought he looked familiar, but I knew that locking eyes on him probably was not a good idea, so I looked away. It took me just a moment to figure out why I think I saw him before: I worked with him on a couple test scoring projects.
And you know what? I didn't freak out or leave immediately while hoping he didn't see me. I just went about my business, tipping and getting tits in my face. Why? Well, first of all, I don't think he's the type of guy who will rat me out. Also, we're both at this strip bar. If he rats on me for being there, he'll then have to explain why he wound up there, too. Finally, though, he seems to be the type of guy who is so quiet at work that no one will believe a word he's saying, if that makes any sense. If he ever does tell anybody at work, he or she will just shrug his or her shoulders and quickly allow those words to travel out the other ear.
So I'm fine, totally fine with it. However, if I start seeing him regularly, I reserve the right to change my mind.
Saturday, October 24, 2015
I Have Three Pairs Of Shoes, But In Actuality Have None
One of the ways My Father shows me he loves me -- hey, try saying "I love you" once in your life! Ah, too late, I'll probably think he's full of it -- is by buying me clothes. A few weeks before they left, as I came home from "work," he pointed down at the new pair of shoes at the foot of the foyer rug and said, "Try this on, see if it fits you." It didn't, but he brought them back to ... well, I'm guessing Kohl's and got a new pair for me to try on the next night. This one was long enough and so it didn't pinch my toes. So I said, "Yes, Father, these shoes work. Thank you." And I meant it sincerely.
But then he and Mother leave the country with not one but two new pairs of shoes. One of the pairs I did try on; the other I didn't. I didn't think it was necessary, but Father pointed out that the shoes I was currently using (shoes, by the way, that he bought for me) were falling apart. I didn't think so ... but in the three or so weeks between him saying that and them getting out of town, everything on these shoes fell apart. When I heard the bottom of the shoe scrape against the ground while I walked because it was hanging loose, that's when I knew I had to make the switch to the new shoes My Father bought me.
And that's when I realized something very, very important: Neither pair had removable insoles. So I braved it and tried to wear both shoes without them. The first one, a leather pair of ... well, I don't know if you call them boat shoes or if they're just moccasins, they were alright, but I could feel the weight of my left arch collapsing while wearing them at work Monday, and I wasn't so sure if I could keep wearing them. So I tried the other pair, and this one was the exact one that I tried and said were totally fine (it was the mocs/boat shoes that I hadn't ever tried on, and I have no idea why Father decided to buy them for me), and after one Tuesday afternoon of wearing them at work I could feel my left leg land wrong whenever I took a step, to the point where I had an active and acute pain on my left hip. I have no idea why I told him these shoes were fine; without the insoles that would prop up flat feet, they were absolutely painful to wear.
So with both shoes having no space for my insoles and the shoes I had tried on before being so obviously wrong for me that it was starting to get dangerous to wear, on Tuesday evening I reverted to a Plan C. Through this now-defunct company/website affiliated with American Express, I bought a pair of Doc Martens for what I thought (and still believe) were rock-bottom prices. I didn't need them at the time, but I couldn't pass up on a deal, so I figured I'd just store them until I needed them. That time was now. The thing is is that I bought them sight unseen; I tried to do as much research as possible, but I had no idea how they were going to fit my feet. I didn't even know whether their insoles were removable.
Well, I opened up the box when I received this shipment (I received the shipment, by the way, about 18 months, two years ago) and was able to pry out the insoles that came with the Docs. Good. So now I'm wearing these. Unfortunately I still feel pain -- not the the shocking pain from that pair of "good" shoes, but pain up and down my left leg and foot nonetheless. (Of course, I have no idea if this pain is the result of the Doc Martens or lingering effects from walking in those "nice" shoes Father bought for me for a day.) Furthermore, they are narrow and pinch my pinky toes, the right one way more than my left. So every day since Wednesday, when I walk, I feel this throbbing pain from my baby toes, particularly the right one. I'm such an oblivious masochist that I'll probably keep wearing them until the leather dries and peels. But that may be because I bought these shoes on my own, so I'll be damned if I don't wear them out, regardless of a pain that may, in the long run, be worse than the two shoe pairs that don't allow for my own specially made insoles.
Bottom line is I have two pairs of shoes I can't (or at least shouldn't ) wear, and three pairs that cause varying degrees of pain. Guess I just can't buy a pair of shoes that fit my feet just fine.
Friday, October 23, 2015
Fear The Feedback
Thank God someone is willing to help out with the alumni club. She was even nice and enterprising enough to make a survey that we're sending off to our members asking for what we could to make the club better. (How does one just whip up a survey like that? Technology scares me.) The day after I posted the link she told me that there were already five replies, which is five more when the former Vice-President tried to elicit surveys a year ago.
What frightens me now are the answers. I'm going to ask her to just aggregate the comments, because if I ask to see them I'm afraid, under the question, "What can we do to get you to participate in the club more?" all the answers will be, "The President's removal."
How do you do that shrug emoji-that-isn't-an-emoji?
What frightens me now are the answers. I'm going to ask her to just aggregate the comments, because if I ask to see them I'm afraid, under the question, "What can we do to get you to participate in the club more?" all the answers will be, "The President's removal."
How do you do that shrug emoji-that-isn't-an-emoji?
Thursday, October 22, 2015
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
#0: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: 0). I had absolutely no doubt that the Minnesota volleyball program would take the top spot in this week's survey. But would it be a -1, a 0, or even a Positive Numbers?
I dismissed PN because last week the Lynx earned it. The team is nowhere near winning a title, which is two months away. I've given PN for lesser lights, but not much less, so I wanted to avoid just giving that up in back-to-back weeks. Then again, with Saturday's four-set home-and-home sweep of ranked Wisconsin, they have now won six in a row, moved into ninth in the AVCA Top 25 poll, and look like both a contender for the Big Ten and the NCAA Tournament -- where they belong. So even though they played just one game, I thought to give them a 0.
I am scared, however, of this weekend. They have what I consider a dangerous back-to-back road trip. They play at third-ranked Nebraska Friday, then travel to face Iowa in a potential trap game Saturday. After that, however, the club's schedule becomes extremely home-heavy; seven of their final ten games of the season are at the Sports Pavilion. And they will begin a four-game homestand Wednesday evening against Indiana.
#-1: Vikings (Re-Entry!). I was at the Vikes' 16-10 victory over The Bastard Dallas Texans Sunday, and I gotta tell ya, it was the most dispiriting win I've seen in a long time. It was weird in the sense that Kansas City, without their main man Jamaal Charles for the rest of the season because of a torn ACL, seemed for most of the game to not have a functioning offense, so even though the Vikings didn't have much going for them offensively either (I wish I could see more from Teddy Bridgewater at this point, but him stepping up but staying in the pocket to find my waiver pickup Stefon Diggs for 30 yards in the fourth quarter was a sure sign of maturity and poise), any points they accrued seemed more than enough to put K.C. away. But then they put together a Touchdrive, capped off by an well-timed screen pass in response to the ViQueens in an all-out blitz, and suddenly the game's in doubt. It was a Chiefs fumble -- where a Chiefs player inadvertently punched the ball out of his teammate's handle -- that salted the game away. Whatever, we'll take it, but I didn't see a Super Bowl-winning team out there.
One thing that seems disconcerting. Adrian Peterson remains the first option and the focal point of the offense. But Sunday we saw even more evidence that All Day is slow to hit the hole and has no acceleration if he clears it. His Yards Per Carry sucked, and it wasn't much better earlier in the year. I've thought for a while now that the NFL has become a passing league. That put Minnesota on the wrong side of modern times because they still relied on a back. Circumstances such as Peterson's continual diminishing returns would be an opening to start passing a lot more. However, Bridgewater is still learning, and the Wide Receiving corps remains a rotation of role players that are taking turns being Flavor Of The Week. The offense, unfortunately, remains quite stuck, with Plans A and B not looking that successful.
The upside to all of this is that many writers feel this is the soft part of the squad's schedule and they have the potential, particularly due to the defense, of making some hay. The next four games, starting this Sunday early afternoon at Detroit, are imminently winnable, and the Vikings could thus be 7-2 heading to Thanksgiving Week ... where they would begin an extremely daunting gauntlet of teams, beginning and ending with Green Bay. Time to bank those wins now, boys.
#-2: Wild (Last Week: -2). Well, the Mild won't finish the season undefeated, so Mercury Morris, you can pop that champagne now. They beat Arizona 4-3 to start off the week, but lost in Southern California to both the Kings and the Ducks.
That's all I got.
Busy week: Tonight (Thursday night) they host the winless Columbus Blue Jackets, which yesterday (Wednesday) fired Head Coach (and former Wild HC) Todd Richards for John Tortorella. They then host Anaheim Saturday but then fly to Winnipeg and play The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers Sunday. Then they come back to Xcel Energy Center to face Edmonton.
#-3: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -1). Consider the roll slowed. They had a prime chance this last screening week to state their case as a dark horse candidate for the NCAA Tournament. Unfortunately they got upset at home by lowly Michigan St. on a ninth-minute goal from Jamie Cheslik, then played Michigan to a scoreless draw. That probably puts the kibosh on any chance of hosting the first two rounds of the tourney, even though the side's RPI remains a robust 27th.
Believe it or not, this is the last week of the regular season. And the two matches they play will not be gimmes at all. Friday they face nationally-renowned Rutgers. And in Wednesday's finale, they host an Illinois team that, as of right now, holds the eighth and final spot in the B1G Tournament, which will begin November 1.
#-4: Gopher football (Last Week: -3). OK, that was just awful. Maybe Nebraska was reacting to their previous game, where they lost in the final seconds to Wisconsin in a game they should have salted away, and they were determined to do it this time at Das Bank. And they did so -- 48-25, ick. What is so strange is that the lopsided offensive output for this club diametrically reversed itself for Saturday's game. The strength of this squad, the running game, was totally snuffed out: 65 yards (Shannon Brooks had eight carries for only 25 yards). And although he probably got those numbers out of necessity, Mitch Leidner did go 26-of-40 for 301 yards and two TDs, which is pretty good, and very good for Mitch Leidner.
Seeing as how SI.com currently does not project the Goofs to play in a bowl game, Jerry Kill's reclamation project is in fact being torn down Brick By Brick. Well, at least they have two weeks to prepare for a Halloween Night clash (moved up from 8 to 6, probably because both teams are coming off losses) against Jim Harbaugh and Michigan.
#-5: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -4). OK, this has gotten real bad. They lost both ends of a home-and-home against Minnesota-Duluth. It seemed pretty thorough, the defeats -- 3-1 Friday at Mariucci, 3-0 Saturday at AMSOIL. And while the Bulldogs rose to fifth in the USCHO.com Top 20 (garnering one first-place vote in the process), the Golden Goofers, who have started the season 0-3, are barely hanging onto the bottom of the poll, their name the only reason they still are on the poll. When the only goal your team has scored so far in the season comes from a Freshman who's not even from Minnesota (Brent Gates, Jr., out of Grand Rapids, Mich.), the season could turn into a complete failure.
This weekend they host Northeastern. I am going to Friday's faceoff, partly because I want to see what the hell is wrong with this team, partly to see if they can win their first game of the year against a 1-2 club, but mostly because I've never seen Northeastern play in person and I want to because it's unusual to see non-conference squads play at Mariucci.
I dismissed PN because last week the Lynx earned it. The team is nowhere near winning a title, which is two months away. I've given PN for lesser lights, but not much less, so I wanted to avoid just giving that up in back-to-back weeks. Then again, with Saturday's four-set home-and-home sweep of ranked Wisconsin, they have now won six in a row, moved into ninth in the AVCA Top 25 poll, and look like both a contender for the Big Ten and the NCAA Tournament -- where they belong. So even though they played just one game, I thought to give them a 0.
I am scared, however, of this weekend. They have what I consider a dangerous back-to-back road trip. They play at third-ranked Nebraska Friday, then travel to face Iowa in a potential trap game Saturday. After that, however, the club's schedule becomes extremely home-heavy; seven of their final ten games of the season are at the Sports Pavilion. And they will begin a four-game homestand Wednesday evening against Indiana.
#-1: Vikings (Re-Entry!). I was at the Vikes' 16-10 victory over The Bastard Dallas Texans Sunday, and I gotta tell ya, it was the most dispiriting win I've seen in a long time. It was weird in the sense that Kansas City, without their main man Jamaal Charles for the rest of the season because of a torn ACL, seemed for most of the game to not have a functioning offense, so even though the Vikings didn't have much going for them offensively either (I wish I could see more from Teddy Bridgewater at this point, but him stepping up but staying in the pocket to find my waiver pickup Stefon Diggs for 30 yards in the fourth quarter was a sure sign of maturity and poise), any points they accrued seemed more than enough to put K.C. away. But then they put together a Touchdrive, capped off by an well-timed screen pass in response to the ViQueens in an all-out blitz, and suddenly the game's in doubt. It was a Chiefs fumble -- where a Chiefs player inadvertently punched the ball out of his teammate's handle -- that salted the game away. Whatever, we'll take it, but I didn't see a Super Bowl-winning team out there.
One thing that seems disconcerting. Adrian Peterson remains the first option and the focal point of the offense. But Sunday we saw even more evidence that All Day is slow to hit the hole and has no acceleration if he clears it. His Yards Per Carry sucked, and it wasn't much better earlier in the year. I've thought for a while now that the NFL has become a passing league. That put Minnesota on the wrong side of modern times because they still relied on a back. Circumstances such as Peterson's continual diminishing returns would be an opening to start passing a lot more. However, Bridgewater is still learning, and the Wide Receiving corps remains a rotation of role players that are taking turns being Flavor Of The Week. The offense, unfortunately, remains quite stuck, with Plans A and B not looking that successful.
The upside to all of this is that many writers feel this is the soft part of the squad's schedule and they have the potential, particularly due to the defense, of making some hay. The next four games, starting this Sunday early afternoon at Detroit, are imminently winnable, and the Vikings could thus be 7-2 heading to Thanksgiving Week ... where they would begin an extremely daunting gauntlet of teams, beginning and ending with Green Bay. Time to bank those wins now, boys.
#-2: Wild (Last Week: -2). Well, the Mild won't finish the season undefeated, so Mercury Morris, you can pop that champagne now. They beat Arizona 4-3 to start off the week, but lost in Southern California to both the Kings and the Ducks.
That's all I got.
Busy week: Tonight (Thursday night) they host the winless Columbus Blue Jackets, which yesterday (Wednesday) fired Head Coach (and former Wild HC) Todd Richards for John Tortorella. They then host Anaheim Saturday but then fly to Winnipeg and play The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers Sunday. Then they come back to Xcel Energy Center to face Edmonton.
#-3: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -1). Consider the roll slowed. They had a prime chance this last screening week to state their case as a dark horse candidate for the NCAA Tournament. Unfortunately they got upset at home by lowly Michigan St. on a ninth-minute goal from Jamie Cheslik, then played Michigan to a scoreless draw. That probably puts the kibosh on any chance of hosting the first two rounds of the tourney, even though the side's RPI remains a robust 27th.
Believe it or not, this is the last week of the regular season. And the two matches they play will not be gimmes at all. Friday they face nationally-renowned Rutgers. And in Wednesday's finale, they host an Illinois team that, as of right now, holds the eighth and final spot in the B1G Tournament, which will begin November 1.
#-4: Gopher football (Last Week: -3). OK, that was just awful. Maybe Nebraska was reacting to their previous game, where they lost in the final seconds to Wisconsin in a game they should have salted away, and they were determined to do it this time at Das Bank. And they did so -- 48-25, ick. What is so strange is that the lopsided offensive output for this club diametrically reversed itself for Saturday's game. The strength of this squad, the running game, was totally snuffed out: 65 yards (Shannon Brooks had eight carries for only 25 yards). And although he probably got those numbers out of necessity, Mitch Leidner did go 26-of-40 for 301 yards and two TDs, which is pretty good, and very good for Mitch Leidner.
Seeing as how SI.com currently does not project the Goofs to play in a bowl game, Jerry Kill's reclamation project is in fact being torn down Brick By Brick. Well, at least they have two weeks to prepare for a Halloween Night clash (moved up from 8 to 6, probably because both teams are coming off losses) against Jim Harbaugh and Michigan.
#-5: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -4). OK, this has gotten real bad. They lost both ends of a home-and-home against Minnesota-Duluth. It seemed pretty thorough, the defeats -- 3-1 Friday at Mariucci, 3-0 Saturday at AMSOIL. And while the Bulldogs rose to fifth in the USCHO.com Top 20 (garnering one first-place vote in the process), the Golden Goofers, who have started the season 0-3, are barely hanging onto the bottom of the poll, their name the only reason they still are on the poll. When the only goal your team has scored so far in the season comes from a Freshman who's not even from Minnesota (Brent Gates, Jr., out of Grand Rapids, Mich.), the season could turn into a complete failure.
This weekend they host Northeastern. I am going to Friday's faceoff, partly because I want to see what the hell is wrong with this team, partly to see if they can win their first game of the year against a 1-2 club, but mostly because I've never seen Northeastern play in person and I want to because it's unusual to see non-conference squads play at Mariucci.
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Cavity Nag
OK, so I got a cavity filled in this afternoon. This is the upper-left molar; specifically, silver amalgam was put around the back end of the tooth -- the area furthest away from the mouth and any attempt to brush it. Really, it's impossible to keep it clean. A filling to protect back there, at least for me, was inevitable.
What I didn't need, however, is the ... I don't know what you call it, nagging or berating or lecturing or insulting I got from the dental student who applied it. First, while she was drilling me she said, "That's why you need to brush every day!" Like I'm a child. Then, when I was finished and I was asking her if I can eat and drink whatever I want with this new filling in, she said the only thing I shouldn't do is brush that area vigorously tonight -- "But it doesn't look as if you've brushed back there at all."
Bitch, I don't know if you're being funny or condescending, I don't need that bullshit. The fact that you "caught" me for not brushing my teeth doesn't mean you get to lay into me.
And don't worry about not brushing vigorously tonight. I'm not brushing my teeth at all tonight. Hell, I didn't brush my teeth at all last night either. You saw that too, didn't you? That I was caught red-handed (red-toothed?) is the only reason I didn't slap you and walk out.
What I didn't need, however, is the ... I don't know what you call it, nagging or berating or lecturing or insulting I got from the dental student who applied it. First, while she was drilling me she said, "That's why you need to brush every day!" Like I'm a child. Then, when I was finished and I was asking her if I can eat and drink whatever I want with this new filling in, she said the only thing I shouldn't do is brush that area vigorously tonight -- "But it doesn't look as if you've brushed back there at all."
Bitch, I don't know if you're being funny or condescending, I don't need that bullshit. The fact that you "caught" me for not brushing my teeth doesn't mean you get to lay into me.
And don't worry about not brushing vigorously tonight. I'm not brushing my teeth at all tonight. Hell, I didn't brush my teeth at all last night either. You saw that too, didn't you? That I was caught red-handed (red-toothed?) is the only reason I didn't slap you and walk out.
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Oh yeah, and I just got massacred in fantasy football this weekend. Seems as though every player on my opponents' rosters racked up 20 points while my ragtag bunch of sorry waiver pick-ups got five.
I think my undoing was my bad luck in drafting/buying Ben Roethlisberger and Dez Bryant, both of whom are injured. If I had both (Bryant in particular), I wouldn't have to scour the waiver wire to find a one-trick pony who'll prop up my team for that week. I'm literally left with shit players.
But I'm still hanging onto them because they could be very useful when (if?) they come back from injury. And shoot, we're not midway through the season yet. Plus, I've got Todd Gurley -- he'll just be a monster for the second half of the season, and I'll win everything! There's still hope for me ... right?
I think my undoing was my bad luck in drafting/buying Ben Roethlisberger and Dez Bryant, both of whom are injured. If I had both (Bryant in particular), I wouldn't have to scour the waiver wire to find a one-trick pony who'll prop up my team for that week. I'm literally left with shit players.
But I'm still hanging onto them because they could be very useful when (if?) they come back from injury. And shoot, we're not midway through the season yet. Plus, I've got Todd Gurley -- he'll just be a monster for the second half of the season, and I'll win everything! There's still hope for me ... right?
Goddamn, These Fucking People Are Trying To Push Me Away
OK, I got one ripoff bitch at What Used To Be My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) that doesn't make me feel welcome. But now, last (Monday) night I have another girl who lectured me after I wanted change that I shouldn't get singles. Girl, I was giving these strippers tips when you were diapers! I don't need to be told how much I should give them. What, do I look like I'm made out of money?
As I've said before, how many of the other fat, sloppy losers there are tipping the dancers? I've been diligent in giving them money, every single time I go there. That's the only reason I go there! It's not as much as some people, but it's more than the zero dollars all the rest of them assholes give. They're just looking at tits for free. And this waitress is badgering me about giving more money?? Give me a fucking break. And give me some fucking credit.
Before, I considered this place to be my home away from home. I felt happy there, secure there. Now I don't. Now, the treatment I'm getting makes me not want to go there anymore.
As I've said before, how many of the other fat, sloppy losers there are tipping the dancers? I've been diligent in giving them money, every single time I go there. That's the only reason I go there! It's not as much as some people, but it's more than the zero dollars all the rest of them assholes give. They're just looking at tits for free. And this waitress is badgering me about giving more money?? Give me a fucking break. And give me some fucking credit.
Before, I considered this place to be my home away from home. I felt happy there, secure there. Now I don't. Now, the treatment I'm getting makes me not want to go there anymore.
Monday, October 19, 2015
OK Weekend, Not-So-Bad Week, But Both Are Busy
Sunday made up for Saturday. There was a possibility that I had to fill in for my friend at a stressful position for the Vikings game, but he came back from the thing he needed to in plenty of time. My job, which I did not know I needed to do until I got there, was to look at social media. I can do that. And for that I get a lot more money for other jobs that had a lot more responsibility.
Was so sleepy after that that I had to crash for the Sunday night game between New England and The Bastard Baltimore Colts. Fell asleep just before the game and got up after the post-game was over. Heard it was a good game; thought the Patriots were going to kill Indianapolis. Guess I could have stayed up, but I had to report to work by 7:30. Also, staying up till 2:30 the night before probably wasn't a good idea.
So I am back to the grind, getting up at a normal time like all the normal people. But I'm still training, and if this new thing I'm learning this week is anything like learning the other part of my job last week, it'll be a bunch of things that are going to be thrown at me alongside a lot of down time because my supervisor has to tend to other things. As long as I am not expected to do things first thing Monday, I can handle it. And I think my supervisors are going to make sure the learning curve will not be steep at all, thank goodness.
The big thing this week, non-work-related (of course), is to hit two very fancy restaurants that will close Saturday. Both La Belle Vie and Masa announced they were shutting down, so I want to "commemorate" their excellent food and service by dropping by and eating at their bars before they're done. I think La Belle Vie may be the harder place to get into; although Masa has been quite lauded, La Belle Vie has been held up as the tabula rasa, the main representative of fine dining in the Twin Cities, and I think for that reason the lounge may very well be crowded every day this week. I'll give it a shot, but it's tough to find a spot when you're given less than a month's notice to drop on by before they shut their doors.
I have my friend, who loves to dine fine, and maybe we should meet and eat together. Or maybe not.
---
Oh, one other thing: I may have gotten so busy that I didn't check in for my Daily Reward on Mafia Wars, therefore I did not get the grand prize for checking in for seven straight days, therefore I think I got busted all the way back down to Day 1. I've been pretty diligent in checking in daily so I get the "Golden Reward" on Sundays, but I think that's all screwed now. Guess I had time Saturday afternoon to do it, but I was worried about being awake for the meeting and the game-watching no one went to.
Was so sleepy after that that I had to crash for the Sunday night game between New England and The Bastard Baltimore Colts. Fell asleep just before the game and got up after the post-game was over. Heard it was a good game; thought the Patriots were going to kill Indianapolis. Guess I could have stayed up, but I had to report to work by 7:30. Also, staying up till 2:30 the night before probably wasn't a good idea.
So I am back to the grind, getting up at a normal time like all the normal people. But I'm still training, and if this new thing I'm learning this week is anything like learning the other part of my job last week, it'll be a bunch of things that are going to be thrown at me alongside a lot of down time because my supervisor has to tend to other things. As long as I am not expected to do things first thing Monday, I can handle it. And I think my supervisors are going to make sure the learning curve will not be steep at all, thank goodness.
The big thing this week, non-work-related (of course), is to hit two very fancy restaurants that will close Saturday. Both La Belle Vie and Masa announced they were shutting down, so I want to "commemorate" their excellent food and service by dropping by and eating at their bars before they're done. I think La Belle Vie may be the harder place to get into; although Masa has been quite lauded, La Belle Vie has been held up as the tabula rasa, the main representative of fine dining in the Twin Cities, and I think for that reason the lounge may very well be crowded every day this week. I'll give it a shot, but it's tough to find a spot when you're given less than a month's notice to drop on by before they shut their doors.
I have my friend, who loves to dine fine, and maybe we should meet and eat together. Or maybe not.
---
Oh, one other thing: I may have gotten so busy that I didn't check in for my Daily Reward on Mafia Wars, therefore I did not get the grand prize for checking in for seven straight days, therefore I think I got busted all the way back down to Day 1. I've been pretty diligent in checking in daily so I get the "Golden Reward" on Sundays, but I think that's all screwed now. Guess I had time Saturday afternoon to do it, but I was worried about being awake for the meeting and the game-watching no one went to.
Sunday, October 18, 2015
The Nadir
I thought last year, when only one person showed up, was bad. This seemed to be worse. We were at a different place, by necessity, but only the person who said she volunteered to become part of the board showed up. Just us two people, and she was nice, but what a goddamn burn for people not to show up.
Worse yet, just yesterday (Saturday) afternoon there was one person who said that he wanted to see the game at our old place, and another who said that he was at our old place when he contacted me. I did send out the news that we were switching places in the middle of the week, and I guess I could have given more lead time, but I think I gave enough time to let those guys know that we were moving somewhere else. Now, out of the blue, mere hours before the game was supposed to start, these guys want to watch back at our old place? And the most frustrating thing about it is, neither guy has been to our old place, ever. And now they just say we should be back there? The hell?
And yet, we needed both of those guys tonight. For some reason, they didn't make it to us. What really scares me is if they were actually able to see the game at our old stomping grounds. I was told that we shouldn't be there because it was going to be busy. If it turns out that it wasn't busy? Well, fuck.
No one's showing up for these goddamn things anymore. Why in the hell do I keep trying then?
Worse yet, just yesterday (Saturday) afternoon there was one person who said that he wanted to see the game at our old place, and another who said that he was at our old place when he contacted me. I did send out the news that we were switching places in the middle of the week, and I guess I could have given more lead time, but I think I gave enough time to let those guys know that we were moving somewhere else. Now, out of the blue, mere hours before the game was supposed to start, these guys want to watch back at our old place? And the most frustrating thing about it is, neither guy has been to our old place, ever. And now they just say we should be back there? The hell?
And yet, we needed both of those guys tonight. For some reason, they didn't make it to us. What really scares me is if they were actually able to see the game at our old stomping grounds. I was told that we shouldn't be there because it was going to be busy. If it turns out that it wasn't busy? Well, fuck.
No one's showing up for these goddamn things anymore. Why in the hell do I keep trying then?
Saturday, October 17, 2015
Bye, Bye Plants
Tonight, right now, will be the first frost/freeze in the Twin Cities of the season. It got pretty close to 32 degrees last night, and it prompted Mother to tell me to cut off the melons that are/were still growing Thursday night, even though I was sure that they could survive outside one more night.
They're not all that well anyway. The three melons that are out there are practically the same size they were when my parents left the country. The biggest is noticeably smaller than the melons I was able to grow last year, and the other two are barely the size of grapefruit. And one of them has these big splotches on the underside, so I think that it hasn't fully ripened or it got moldy. I think I might have to throw them out.
This raises the distinct possibility that, once my parents come home and see the melons, they'll blame me for not doing enough to nurture them. Father just told me to water them for five-to-ten minutes each day, which I did. In fact I may have overwatered them, which might be the reason why I have stunted melons. So they'll accuse me of skipping days and not watering them, or not cutting them off Thursday night, like they said, and letting them die in the frost. They'll come up with some bullshit to get at me. Pffft.
---
I walked outside last (Friday) night to make sure that there wasn't a tiny melon I was missing. If there is one, might as well save it from the bitter cold that is descending upon us now.
But while searching for melons and picking up the tall branches that were blown off due to the stiff winds we've been having recently, I looked at the flower bed nestled up against the back side of the house and noticed something beautiful, unfortunately: Flowers that bloomed when I didn't even notice their petals the day before. So I looked closer and saw that not only were some perennials in full bloom, but there were some that were starting to bloom. I don't know how that happened; it wasn't warm this workweek, but it was about 70 Saturday and 85 Sunday. These flowers are confused, and they'll pay for that by dying tonight.
I don't want it to happen. There are flowers popping and staying strong all over the bed. For posterity's sake I smelled the blooming flowers -- oh, so sweet. I also snapped several photos of the flowers, those that are in bloom and those that have already bloomed. Because come morning, they're dead. Hell, they're probably dead right now. And I feel bad, really guilty that I can't save them. But what the fuck can I do? They shouldn't have bloomed.
They're not all that well anyway. The three melons that are out there are practically the same size they were when my parents left the country. The biggest is noticeably smaller than the melons I was able to grow last year, and the other two are barely the size of grapefruit. And one of them has these big splotches on the underside, so I think that it hasn't fully ripened or it got moldy. I think I might have to throw them out.
This raises the distinct possibility that, once my parents come home and see the melons, they'll blame me for not doing enough to nurture them. Father just told me to water them for five-to-ten minutes each day, which I did. In fact I may have overwatered them, which might be the reason why I have stunted melons. So they'll accuse me of skipping days and not watering them, or not cutting them off Thursday night, like they said, and letting them die in the frost. They'll come up with some bullshit to get at me. Pffft.
---
I walked outside last (Friday) night to make sure that there wasn't a tiny melon I was missing. If there is one, might as well save it from the bitter cold that is descending upon us now.
But while searching for melons and picking up the tall branches that were blown off due to the stiff winds we've been having recently, I looked at the flower bed nestled up against the back side of the house and noticed something beautiful, unfortunately: Flowers that bloomed when I didn't even notice their petals the day before. So I looked closer and saw that not only were some perennials in full bloom, but there were some that were starting to bloom. I don't know how that happened; it wasn't warm this workweek, but it was about 70 Saturday and 85 Sunday. These flowers are confused, and they'll pay for that by dying tonight.
I don't want it to happen. There are flowers popping and staying strong all over the bed. For posterity's sake I smelled the blooming flowers -- oh, so sweet. I also snapped several photos of the flowers, those that are in bloom and those that have already bloomed. Because come morning, they're dead. Hell, they're probably dead right now. And I feel bad, really guilty that I can't save them. But what the fuck can I do? They shouldn't have bloomed.
Friday, October 16, 2015
Bitches Better Have My Money
So I was an extra for this YouTube commercial, right? Saw it; can't stand the sight of me because I think I look like a dweeb and I stare down too much. But still, it was cool and made me feel like spending the day at the shoot was totally worth it.
One of the other extras on the commercial just Messengered me tonight. He asked me, "Have you gotten paid yet?" And I realized that, no, I haven't gotten paid yet. And it's been about a month. I should have gotten paid by now. Worse yet, if I don't get paid, I don't know who to turn to. Yeah ... where do I go if I haven't gotten paid for my work?
And my friend's message has started an avalanche of passing thoughts that are converging on me right now, all of them regarding things I haven't gotten paid for yet. I thought, for example, that the broadcast company hasn't paid me for working their Vikings game yet. That thought was a couple weeks ago, but now, thanks to my friend, I'm thinking I should call them. Same thing when I was doing those MRI scans at the U. That's been over a month; why haven't they sent me a check yet?
Worst off was the experiment where I played The Hardest Game I've Ever Played. This particular study reimburses me for all the parking I paid to get to the office downtown. I was diligent in writing down each day's parking or transportation expense, so I added them all up and knew the amount of money I was supposed to get reimbursed for. When I got the check (hey, at least these guys sent me a check), it was $2.25 less than what I thought I should have received. That amount equals the cost of a ticket to ride the light rail, which I did the day I flew back from my vacation in St. Louis in order to come in for my session that day.
I spoke to my contact about the discrepancy and she said that I did not come in the day printed on the light rail receipt. Oh yes I did, I replied -- there was only one person there, and it was not her, but I did come in and do the games. And then she said something I didn't understand, but I thought she said something like, "Oh! He didn't indicate that you came in. We'll fix that and have another check sent out to you, OK?" Uh, OK ... ?
And that was it. Literally -- that was about a month ago and I still haven't seen that check for $2.25. Yeah, that's chump change, but it's also the amount of money they promised to pay back to me because I spent it getting to the study. I think I deserve to reimbursed for it, and for any expense they agreed to reimburse me for. So why haven't they? Shit, why haven't any of these people?? Damn, that's three places that need to give me my money I earned. The hell, man?! Do I have to call all these freakin' people???
One of the other extras on the commercial just Messengered me tonight. He asked me, "Have you gotten paid yet?" And I realized that, no, I haven't gotten paid yet. And it's been about a month. I should have gotten paid by now. Worse yet, if I don't get paid, I don't know who to turn to. Yeah ... where do I go if I haven't gotten paid for my work?
And my friend's message has started an avalanche of passing thoughts that are converging on me right now, all of them regarding things I haven't gotten paid for yet. I thought, for example, that the broadcast company hasn't paid me for working their Vikings game yet. That thought was a couple weeks ago, but now, thanks to my friend, I'm thinking I should call them. Same thing when I was doing those MRI scans at the U. That's been over a month; why haven't they sent me a check yet?
Worst off was the experiment where I played The Hardest Game I've Ever Played. This particular study reimburses me for all the parking I paid to get to the office downtown. I was diligent in writing down each day's parking or transportation expense, so I added them all up and knew the amount of money I was supposed to get reimbursed for. When I got the check (hey, at least these guys sent me a check), it was $2.25 less than what I thought I should have received. That amount equals the cost of a ticket to ride the light rail, which I did the day I flew back from my vacation in St. Louis in order to come in for my session that day.
I spoke to my contact about the discrepancy and she said that I did not come in the day printed on the light rail receipt. Oh yes I did, I replied -- there was only one person there, and it was not her, but I did come in and do the games. And then she said something I didn't understand, but I thought she said something like, "Oh! He didn't indicate that you came in. We'll fix that and have another check sent out to you, OK?" Uh, OK ... ?
And that was it. Literally -- that was about a month ago and I still haven't seen that check for $2.25. Yeah, that's chump change, but it's also the amount of money they promised to pay back to me because I spent it getting to the study. I think I deserve to reimbursed for it, and for any expense they agreed to reimburse me for. So why haven't they? Shit, why haven't any of these people?? Damn, that's three places that need to give me my money I earned. The hell, man?! Do I have to call all these freakin' people???
Thursday, October 15, 2015
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
By the way, I know that the University of Minnesota women's hockey team began their season a couple weeks ago. (I was fortunate to watch the banner-raising ceremony and ensuing ass-kicking of St. Cloud St. Friday.) But since they won the NCAA title last year, per rules, they are exempt from the WMNSS until the week of the end of the season in which they fall short of a championship. Let's hope that's not going to be for a while.
#0: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -1). Now this is the volleyball program Gopher fans are used to. They completed a 3-0 road trip this screening week in a fashion befitting dominant clubs -- sweeps of East Coast bottom-dwellers Maryland and Rutgers, followed by a gritty five-set win at 15th-ranked Wisconsin. In the victory over the Badgers, they got blitzed in Set 1 25-11 but responded with an equally dominating 25-16
Set 4 win. They both traded 26-24 results, but the Golden Gophers put together four points in a row to repel Wisky in the final set, 15-11.
That should make the return date of this home-and-home Saturday night (at the special time of 8) so intriguing. Win that and they should be in the AVCA Top 10, easy.
#-1: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -3). It's really an embarrassment of riches this survey. The side began their three-game roadie with a loss at Wisconsin, but they clean-sheeted their last two matches. A 2-0 decision over Iowa was expected, but they also crushed then-ranked Nebraska in Lincoln, 3-0.
I don't know about you, but Simone Kolander may be the local scene's best-kept secret. She scored two of the three goals in beating the 'Huskers and notched the game-winner against the Hawkeyes, giving her a conference-leading ten goals on the year. She may not be USWNT material, but seriously, she could make it as a pro. She's that good, y'all, probably the best striker this squad has had since Taylor Uhl transferred to Stanford.
They now rank in the teens in the three women's soccer polls and is 19th in the RPI. They are knocking on the door to host the first weekend of the tournament. And they can add to their 11-2-2 record as they host two pretty good schools though neither of them ranked as highly as Minnesota: Michigan St. tonight/Thursday night/as we speak, then Michigan Sunday.
#-2: Wild (Re-Entry!). Local pro sports have been gearing up for some time for the start of the Wild season, even if last season ended with an embarrassing sweep at the hands of the Chicago Blackhawks. So far so good, as they begin the year with two straight-up wins against The Bastard Quebec Nordiques and St. Louis. The season-opening victory was a wild affair; the Avalanche was up 4-1 before Minnesota scored four straight goals in about five minutes in the third period to pull out the win. That they did it in Denver made it all the more remarkable.
This is a franchise that needs to get off to a good start because there are many experts that think the Wild are in for a major correction. Devyn Dubnyk was, by all rights, the main reason the club went from faltering to at times dominating, and logic dictates that his is going to regress to the journeyman Goalie he has always been. Also, advanced statistics, including scoring 5-on-5, go against the Wild. That all sets up what some feel is a nasty fall for the team, one so dramatic that some writers predict that Head Coach Mike Yeo would be fired as a consequence.
It is only two games, but that hasn't happened, at least not yet. One possible difference to indicate that this year's team may buck the trend is the so-far promising production on the power play. After being so anemic last year, Zach Parise and Ryan Suter spoke to Yeo and said they want to do something different. The two flagship players brought in former player and head coach Adam Oates (I remember watching him play) to develop a different PP system. So far it has worked. Now, to work on the penalty kill. ...
They've been off since Saturday. Rest or rust as they play tonight (Thursday night) against The Bastard Winnipeg Jets? This begins a relatively busy period, for they are in Southern California to play Los Angeles Friday and Anaheim Sunday.
#-3: Gopher football (Last Week: -5). Even the U.'s football team is getting in on the act! They started out very slowly, again, in Saturday's contest at Purdue, trailing 6-0 after one quarter. But then they, like the Lynx, dominated the middle two quarters, blanking the Boilermakers 38-0. Twenty-eight of those points were in the third quarter, including this 71-yard highlight run by reigning B1G Freshman Of The Week, Running Back Shannon Brooks:
Mitch Leidner still can't throw; he threw only twelve times and completed eight passes for 59 yards and an Interception. But two of those completions were Touchdown passes to Brandon Lingen. Besides, if you can win 41-13 by running for 326 yards (176 of them by Brooks), who cares?
This club may not get to a New Year's Day bowl this year, but there may be some life in them after all. And they host a very vulnerable Nebraska squad this Saturday afternoon, a week after they snatched defeat from the jaws of victory hosting Wisconsin.
#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Re-Entry!). Wow, up to this point in the survey the teams have a combined record of 9-1 for the screening week. But then we come to the beginning of that other hockey program in Dinkytown, the men, who were given hosting duties for the 2015 Hall of Fame Game ... and the then-ninth-ranked Goofers were shamed, at home, by Vermont, 3-0. Fucking ugly.
And it might not get better for this team, whose fate as a contender seems very difficult to imagine right now. Their leaders are all juniors, led probably by Hudson Fasching, and hopes are so far not high enough to believe they have the reinforcements to stay the class of the B1G. Two years after reaching (and then losing, in similarly humiliating fashion) the NCAA championship game, there's a chance that this program might not even make it to the NCAA Tournament this year. It might be that bad.
They have a home-and-home with Minnesota-Duluth this weekend, here first, there second.
Positive Numbers: Lynx (Last Week: -4).
So they did come back! And they won!! I never doubted them for a second.
OK, I totally doubted them. I didn't think they would win Game 5 at home last (Wednesday) night. I didn't think they would overcome losing Game 1 of the WNBA Finals against the Indiana Fever. Fuck, I didn't even think they would get out of the first round. But I'm glad I'm wrong.
I only wish I had gone to Game 5. I thought about it, but the combination of my depression over heading off to a new job the next day (one that I'm not all that enthused to begin), the prospect of spending good money only to see them lose, and the total lack of seats to purchase on Stubhub convinced me to stay home and catch up on washing dishes paying my parents' bills. Turns out it was very much a sellout; they even took down the huge black curtains they usually drape over the ends of the upper level so Target Center doesn't feel so empty during Lynx games. They probably sold every ticket there ... or at least I hope so, otherwise I would feel profoundly guilty of not going, even if I had to push my chores to another day. But although I checked Stubhub, I never tried the Lynx site. In retrospect, of course I should have tried there. And even though a lot of people were there, I think there were about 400 tickets left to be sold. And now I'm fucking kicking myself for not going, goddammit!
They salted away Game 5 by choking the life out of the Fever in the middle quarters, outscoring them 33-12. The four points Indiana scored in the second quarter was the lowest by any team in WNBA Finals history. Meanwhile, the Lynx managed to win this game by a different constellation of player contributions. The Finals MVP was, in fact, Sylvia Fowles, the mid-season signing who scored 20 points, hauled in 11 rebounds and was a +16. However, Maya Moore, who I believe should have been MVP, only scored five points. Seimone Augustus, in the twilight of her career and battling injury throughout the season, harkened back to her MVP days by scoring 16. Lindsay Whalen, marching alongside Augustus into the distance, scored only one bucket and in fact tallied fewer minutes on the floor than reserve Point Guards Renee Montgomery and Anna Cruz.
Don't want to poo-poo the feat, but I have to say there were two pivotal and very fortuitous events that paved the way for this championship. One was Maya Moore's three at the gun to give the Lynx Game 3 at Indiana on Friday. If they go to Overtime, I'm sure they lose, both the game and the title. The other circumstance you shouldn't overlook came from the benevolent Fever itself. They upset the top seed in the Eastern Conference, the New York Liberty, in the Eastern Conference Finals. New York had a better record than Minnesota and thus would have had home-court advantage if those two teams met. And as it turned out, the fifth and deciding game gave the Lynx a enormous support when they shut down Indiana's offense. I doubt the Lynx could have won if Game 5 were in Madison Square Garden. So the team has to give thanks to the Fever for giving them home-court.
To continue being Sadness in Inside Out, the future for this franchise is unsettled. They played an eight-man rotation, three of them who weren't on the team at the beginning and two (Augustus and Whalen) maybe needing to move on for the sake of the club. Despite other experts saying to the contrary, I don't think this is a deep team, and any subtractions can mean a huge fall down the standings. And yet it may be necessary to hasten the Renaissance of this team.
But, yes, that should be contemplated over another time. Congratulations, Minnesota Lynx, on your third championship in five years, and the first one clinched at home! With your title, you are exempt from The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey ... for now.
I only wish I had gone to Game 5. I thought about it, but the combination of my depression over heading off to a new job the next day (one that I'm not all that enthused to begin), the prospect of spending good money only to see them lose, and the total lack of seats to purchase on Stubhub convinced me to stay home and catch up on washing dishes paying my parents' bills. Turns out it was very much a sellout; they even took down the huge black curtains they usually drape over the ends of the upper level so Target Center doesn't feel so empty during Lynx games. They probably sold every ticket there ... or at least I hope so, otherwise I would feel profoundly guilty of not going, even if I had to push my chores to another day. But although I checked Stubhub, I never tried the Lynx site. In retrospect, of course I should have tried there. And even though a lot of people were there, I think there were about 400 tickets left to be sold. And now I'm fucking kicking myself for not going, goddammit!
They salted away Game 5 by choking the life out of the Fever in the middle quarters, outscoring them 33-12. The four points Indiana scored in the second quarter was the lowest by any team in WNBA Finals history. Meanwhile, the Lynx managed to win this game by a different constellation of player contributions. The Finals MVP was, in fact, Sylvia Fowles, the mid-season signing who scored 20 points, hauled in 11 rebounds and was a +16. However, Maya Moore, who I believe should have been MVP, only scored five points. Seimone Augustus, in the twilight of her career and battling injury throughout the season, harkened back to her MVP days by scoring 16. Lindsay Whalen, marching alongside Augustus into the distance, scored only one bucket and in fact tallied fewer minutes on the floor than reserve Point Guards Renee Montgomery and Anna Cruz.
Don't want to poo-poo the feat, but I have to say there were two pivotal and very fortuitous events that paved the way for this championship. One was Maya Moore's three at the gun to give the Lynx Game 3 at Indiana on Friday. If they go to Overtime, I'm sure they lose, both the game and the title. The other circumstance you shouldn't overlook came from the benevolent Fever itself. They upset the top seed in the Eastern Conference, the New York Liberty, in the Eastern Conference Finals. New York had a better record than Minnesota and thus would have had home-court advantage if those two teams met. And as it turned out, the fifth and deciding game gave the Lynx a enormous support when they shut down Indiana's offense. I doubt the Lynx could have won if Game 5 were in Madison Square Garden. So the team has to give thanks to the Fever for giving them home-court.
To continue being Sadness in Inside Out, the future for this franchise is unsettled. They played an eight-man rotation, three of them who weren't on the team at the beginning and two (Augustus and Whalen) maybe needing to move on for the sake of the club. Despite other experts saying to the contrary, I don't think this is a deep team, and any subtractions can mean a huge fall down the standings. And yet it may be necessary to hasten the Renaissance of this team.
But, yes, that should be contemplated over another time. Congratulations, Minnesota Lynx, on your third championship in five years, and the first one clinched at home! With your title, you are exempt from The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey ... for now.
#0: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -1). Now this is the volleyball program Gopher fans are used to. They completed a 3-0 road trip this screening week in a fashion befitting dominant clubs -- sweeps of East Coast bottom-dwellers Maryland and Rutgers, followed by a gritty five-set win at 15th-ranked Wisconsin. In the victory over the Badgers, they got blitzed in Set 1 25-11 but responded with an equally dominating 25-16
Set 4 win. They both traded 26-24 results, but the Golden Gophers put together four points in a row to repel Wisky in the final set, 15-11.
That should make the return date of this home-and-home Saturday night (at the special time of 8) so intriguing. Win that and they should be in the AVCA Top 10, easy.
#-1: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -3). It's really an embarrassment of riches this survey. The side began their three-game roadie with a loss at Wisconsin, but they clean-sheeted their last two matches. A 2-0 decision over Iowa was expected, but they also crushed then-ranked Nebraska in Lincoln, 3-0.
I don't know about you, but Simone Kolander may be the local scene's best-kept secret. She scored two of the three goals in beating the 'Huskers and notched the game-winner against the Hawkeyes, giving her a conference-leading ten goals on the year. She may not be USWNT material, but seriously, she could make it as a pro. She's that good, y'all, probably the best striker this squad has had since Taylor Uhl transferred to Stanford.
They now rank in the teens in the three women's soccer polls and is 19th in the RPI. They are knocking on the door to host the first weekend of the tournament. And they can add to their 11-2-2 record as they host two pretty good schools though neither of them ranked as highly as Minnesota: Michigan St. tonight/Thursday night/as we speak, then Michigan Sunday.
#-2: Wild (Re-Entry!). Local pro sports have been gearing up for some time for the start of the Wild season, even if last season ended with an embarrassing sweep at the hands of the Chicago Blackhawks. So far so good, as they begin the year with two straight-up wins against The Bastard Quebec Nordiques and St. Louis. The season-opening victory was a wild affair; the Avalanche was up 4-1 before Minnesota scored four straight goals in about five minutes in the third period to pull out the win. That they did it in Denver made it all the more remarkable.
This is a franchise that needs to get off to a good start because there are many experts that think the Wild are in for a major correction. Devyn Dubnyk was, by all rights, the main reason the club went from faltering to at times dominating, and logic dictates that his is going to regress to the journeyman Goalie he has always been. Also, advanced statistics, including scoring 5-on-5, go against the Wild. That all sets up what some feel is a nasty fall for the team, one so dramatic that some writers predict that Head Coach Mike Yeo would be fired as a consequence.
It is only two games, but that hasn't happened, at least not yet. One possible difference to indicate that this year's team may buck the trend is the so-far promising production on the power play. After being so anemic last year, Zach Parise and Ryan Suter spoke to Yeo and said they want to do something different. The two flagship players brought in former player and head coach Adam Oates (I remember watching him play) to develop a different PP system. So far it has worked. Now, to work on the penalty kill. ...
They've been off since Saturday. Rest or rust as they play tonight (Thursday night) against The Bastard Winnipeg Jets? This begins a relatively busy period, for they are in Southern California to play Los Angeles Friday and Anaheim Sunday.
#-3: Gopher football (Last Week: -5). Even the U.'s football team is getting in on the act! They started out very slowly, again, in Saturday's contest at Purdue, trailing 6-0 after one quarter. But then they, like the Lynx, dominated the middle two quarters, blanking the Boilermakers 38-0. Twenty-eight of those points were in the third quarter, including this 71-yard highlight run by reigning B1G Freshman Of The Week, Running Back Shannon Brooks:
Mitch Leidner still can't throw; he threw only twelve times and completed eight passes for 59 yards and an Interception. But two of those completions were Touchdown passes to Brandon Lingen. Besides, if you can win 41-13 by running for 326 yards (176 of them by Brooks), who cares?
This club may not get to a New Year's Day bowl this year, but there may be some life in them after all. And they host a very vulnerable Nebraska squad this Saturday afternoon, a week after they snatched defeat from the jaws of victory hosting Wisconsin.
#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Re-Entry!). Wow, up to this point in the survey the teams have a combined record of 9-1 for the screening week. But then we come to the beginning of that other hockey program in Dinkytown, the men, who were given hosting duties for the 2015 Hall of Fame Game ... and the then-ninth-ranked Goofers were shamed, at home, by Vermont, 3-0. Fucking ugly.
And it might not get better for this team, whose fate as a contender seems very difficult to imagine right now. Their leaders are all juniors, led probably by Hudson Fasching, and hopes are so far not high enough to believe they have the reinforcements to stay the class of the B1G. Two years after reaching (and then losing, in similarly humiliating fashion) the NCAA championship game, there's a chance that this program might not even make it to the NCAA Tournament this year. It might be that bad.
They have a home-and-home with Minnesota-Duluth this weekend, here first, there second.
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
About To Be Back To Work, And I'm Pissed
So yesterday (Tuesday) morning I get a call from my temp agency. I've had a few leads in regards to job prospects after I realized that, hey, the money's not coming in as fast as it could, I need more. I've actually gone outside my agency to look for other jobs; that's how "expansive" my search has become. They, as well as my "main" agency, are the ones with the leads, and the status of those is something along the lines of, "We'll get your paperwork sent over and we'll see what happens next" -- that isn't imminent, but it's a lot more effort than I've put into my work search since my parents left.
But this call changes all of that. There has been an emergency job that's popped up, and my contact says that I'd be perfect for it. It's not as long as the other leads: Mid-January as opposed to mid-February. And the start date is not a few weeks out, like the others. It's ASAP, as soon as my background check comes back in. That could come as soon as Friday. Or tomorrow.
And for some damn reason I'm mad. Yes, I am happy that I have found work. But you know what? I was pretty goddamn happy being unemployed. It's funemployment, that's what it is. I liked getting up in the morning because I wanted to, not because I had to. I was able to laze about the house without needing to go anywhere. I could go to sleep when I want. Hell, I could do whatever I want when I want.
And now I can't do that anymore I am reflecting on the things I want to do but know I won't have the time for anymore. Such like sorting through my papers, or writing that sample for that job. After I get home from this particular job I'll have to sort through my parents' mail, deal with my parents' mail, talk to my parents, then sleep. That'll be my week. Forty-plus hours of the grind, just so I can stop being broke. You know, right now, I'd rather be broke.
But this call changes all of that. There has been an emergency job that's popped up, and my contact says that I'd be perfect for it. It's not as long as the other leads: Mid-January as opposed to mid-February. And the start date is not a few weeks out, like the others. It's ASAP, as soon as my background check comes back in. That could come as soon as Friday. Or tomorrow.
And for some damn reason I'm mad. Yes, I am happy that I have found work. But you know what? I was pretty goddamn happy being unemployed. It's funemployment, that's what it is. I liked getting up in the morning because I wanted to, not because I had to. I was able to laze about the house without needing to go anywhere. I could go to sleep when I want. Hell, I could do whatever I want when I want.
And now I can't do that anymore I am reflecting on the things I want to do but know I won't have the time for anymore. Such like sorting through my papers, or writing that sample for that job. After I get home from this particular job I'll have to sort through my parents' mail, deal with my parents' mail, talk to my parents, then sleep. That'll be my week. Forty-plus hours of the grind, just so I can stop being broke. You know, right now, I'd rather be broke.
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
Addendum To: Addendum To: What Mess Of My Parents Do I Have To Clean Up Now?
Oh, some good news about this claim form in which I think I put in my parents' original deed for one of their properties.
So I called the contact number of this settlement, which patched me to the law firm overseeing all these claim forms. I was given an e-mail address to send my problem to, and it was promptly answered. The guy gave me his number and invited me to call him. I gave him the return address on the envelope, apparently he needed to go downstairs to retrieve the package I sent him, and then he says that instead of trying to find the original papers, he was just going to make a copy of every single thing in the envelope and send that all back to me. I think that's overkill, and that doesn't give me what I really want, which was getting the original back. (And by the way, at this point I still don't know if the original deed is in there.) But this is what I get for making a mistake; this is out of my control. So I accepted this.
The next day, the very next day, I'm coming home in the afternoon and open the screen door. There's a Federal Express (I insist on still using "Federal Express" instead of "FedEx," even though, according to Wikipedia, "Federal Express" officially became "FedEx" in 2000, which is stupid, because "FedEx" is a truncation and a made-up name) package inbetween the screen and front doors. Wow, they're quick. And I appreciate that the guy I talked to spent a lot of the law firm's money to send the copies back the next day.
I open up the envelope, and it looks like, yes, every single piece of paper I sent to them was copied and sent back to us. But then I looked closer. Some of the papers looked wrinkled. And then I looked even closer; some of the pages had two small holes in the upper-left corner. Staple marks ... staple marks from the staples I removed when I went to the library to make copies of them! So it looks like that I did mistakenly put in the original deed in the envelope along with its copy. But moreover, he (or the person he delegated this task to) found it and realized it wasn't so difficult to send the original deed, so he or she sent it!
I checked every single copy with all of the papers I think I had copied as well as the other copies. I think I have all the pages of the original deed, and any duplicates I've set aside to shred. And my parents won't have to know about this mistake, because everything seems to be back to where it originally was, phew!
I should e-mail this guy thanking him.
So I called the contact number of this settlement, which patched me to the law firm overseeing all these claim forms. I was given an e-mail address to send my problem to, and it was promptly answered. The guy gave me his number and invited me to call him. I gave him the return address on the envelope, apparently he needed to go downstairs to retrieve the package I sent him, and then he says that instead of trying to find the original papers, he was just going to make a copy of every single thing in the envelope and send that all back to me. I think that's overkill, and that doesn't give me what I really want, which was getting the original back. (And by the way, at this point I still don't know if the original deed is in there.) But this is what I get for making a mistake; this is out of my control. So I accepted this.
The next day, the very next day, I'm coming home in the afternoon and open the screen door. There's a Federal Express (I insist on still using "Federal Express" instead of "FedEx," even though, according to Wikipedia, "Federal Express" officially became "FedEx" in 2000, which is stupid, because "FedEx" is a truncation and a made-up name) package inbetween the screen and front doors. Wow, they're quick. And I appreciate that the guy I talked to spent a lot of the law firm's money to send the copies back the next day.
I open up the envelope, and it looks like, yes, every single piece of paper I sent to them was copied and sent back to us. But then I looked closer. Some of the papers looked wrinkled. And then I looked even closer; some of the pages had two small holes in the upper-left corner. Staple marks ... staple marks from the staples I removed when I went to the library to make copies of them! So it looks like that I did mistakenly put in the original deed in the envelope along with its copy. But moreover, he (or the person he delegated this task to) found it and realized it wasn't so difficult to send the original deed, so he or she sent it!
I checked every single copy with all of the papers I think I had copied as well as the other copies. I think I have all the pages of the original deed, and any duplicates I've set aside to shred. And my parents won't have to know about this mistake, because everything seems to be back to where it originally was, phew!
I should e-mail this guy thanking him.
Monday, October 12, 2015
Playboy Won't Be Playboy Anymore?!?!?!
Are you fucking kidding me?! Seriously, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?! It's like Sports Illustrated no longer covering sports. What the fuck are you without naked women? What good are you without naked women??
This is ... no, I can't even ... my childhood is being taken away from me.
This is ... no, I can't even ... my childhood is being taken away from me.
The Weekend Is Now Over, And I Inadvertently Have Been Woken Up To My Troubles
I have used my tablet sparingly in the past year. A couple months ago I booted up the tablet, which is a Hewlett-Packard (or are they technically called HP? I still like the name "Hewlett-Packard") ThinkPad, but didn't use it. Since then I have kept it on to fiddle with it and to see if it works.
Well, it looks as though Hewlett-Packard has abandoned it, because I just checked for software updates and it's having trouble finding any. Also, I had set it up so it could receive my e-mail and connect to Facebook, but now, even after putting in my updated passwords, I can't do either. It kind of sucks that I now have a device that already well on its way to obsolescence. But I can turn it on, and the web browser still works, so there's that.
Oh, and the alarm works, too. The last time I apparently used it regularly was last year. I know this because I was woken up to the sound of a rapid series of soft chimes at 6:15 this morning. That was the time I set for myself when I was working at the flu biller place last year. I woke up and was like, "What the hell was that?" I thought Mother was calling me through WhatsApp or something. Then I remembered that sequence of sounds and realized that it was coming from my tablet.
Boy, remembering the flu biller place and the times I woke up with my heart beating out of my chest being scared of what's going to happen at work gives me bad memories. Fortunately, those days are long gone. Unfortunately, I have other worries that take its place, worries that I put off this weekend so I could actually enjoy my weekend, worries like where are we going to watch the next game, are there things I need to tell my parents that I forgot, where am I going to find my next job, etc. Those are the worries that I didn't need to worry about right now -- if only that goddamn tablet alarm didn't wake me up.
I remembered to turn it off. It won't bother me anymore. But it's too late now. I'm plagued by my demons now. And there is no more time to push them down the road. But I just wanted a couple more hours of being blissfully asleep. Was that too much to ask?
Well, it looks as though Hewlett-Packard has abandoned it, because I just checked for software updates and it's having trouble finding any. Also, I had set it up so it could receive my e-mail and connect to Facebook, but now, even after putting in my updated passwords, I can't do either. It kind of sucks that I now have a device that already well on its way to obsolescence. But I can turn it on, and the web browser still works, so there's that.
Oh, and the alarm works, too. The last time I apparently used it regularly was last year. I know this because I was woken up to the sound of a rapid series of soft chimes at 6:15 this morning. That was the time I set for myself when I was working at the flu biller place last year. I woke up and was like, "What the hell was that?" I thought Mother was calling me through WhatsApp or something. Then I remembered that sequence of sounds and realized that it was coming from my tablet.
Boy, remembering the flu biller place and the times I woke up with my heart beating out of my chest being scared of what's going to happen at work gives me bad memories. Fortunately, those days are long gone. Unfortunately, I have other worries that take its place, worries that I put off this weekend so I could actually enjoy my weekend, worries like where are we going to watch the next game, are there things I need to tell my parents that I forgot, where am I going to find my next job, etc. Those are the worries that I didn't need to worry about right now -- if only that goddamn tablet alarm didn't wake me up.
I remembered to turn it off. It won't bother me anymore. But it's too late now. I'm plagued by my demons now. And there is no more time to push them down the road. But I just wanted a couple more hours of being blissfully asleep. Was that too much to ask?
Sunday, October 11, 2015
The Real Last Day Of Summer
Holy crap, it reached 85 degrees in the Twin Cities, a new record high. Even as a non-summer weather fan, I have to note how unusual such a warm temperature is this time of the year.
So I was going to enjoy this last day of summer by walking outside, right? Hell no! It's Sunday!! It's football day!!! My plan was that, since this was my second (and last) of back-to-back weekends where I didn't have to worry about either anybody showing up to our alma mater football game parties (on Saturday) or working the Vikings game (on Sunday), I would get up and eat and go on the Internet and maybe do some real estate things for my parents and take a nap whenever I want to. You know, kind of like what I did last Sunday. (I think I masturbated last week, too.) I rarely have days where I can tool around all by myself to the point where I don't even have to crack up a window to let any of that nasty outside air in.
But in the end, I took a walk early in the New England-Dallas late game. It was 85 degrees and sunny. I had to get out there. And you know, it was a nice walk where I burned off some of the huge plate of spaghetti I made for lunch. I went to a trail close to home. My parents walk it now all the time, but it's the first time I went there, at least by myself (maybe my sister and her best friend and I walked down through that trail once, can't remember). It's really nice, and the combination of the early fall sun and the turning and falling leaves made for a scene so perfectly fall-like, I had to snap a picture. And I will put one up as soon as I learn how to add a photo onto Blogger.
One other point: Since I was dead set on staying completely at home today, I gave little though to doing anything else. That included, I'm afraid, the United States Open Racquetball Championships. I don't think I've ever played racquetball, let alone watched it. But apparently for the week the best players in the world were in Minneapolis -- well, until this afternoon. I am a big fan of seeing the best players at what they do in the most prestigious tournaments possible. That's why a huge chunk of my latest vacation to St. Louis was spent watching the Sinquefield Cup. But, alas, I had plans, which basically consisted of sitting on my ass. If the racquetball championships are in the Twin Cities next year, though, I'm going. Totally.
So I was going to enjoy this last day of summer by walking outside, right? Hell no! It's Sunday!! It's football day!!! My plan was that, since this was my second (and last) of back-to-back weekends where I didn't have to worry about either anybody showing up to our alma mater football game parties (on Saturday) or working the Vikings game (on Sunday), I would get up and eat and go on the Internet and maybe do some real estate things for my parents and take a nap whenever I want to. You know, kind of like what I did last Sunday. (I think I masturbated last week, too.) I rarely have days where I can tool around all by myself to the point where I don't even have to crack up a window to let any of that nasty outside air in.
But in the end, I took a walk early in the New England-Dallas late game. It was 85 degrees and sunny. I had to get out there. And you know, it was a nice walk where I burned off some of the huge plate of spaghetti I made for lunch. I went to a trail close to home. My parents walk it now all the time, but it's the first time I went there, at least by myself (maybe my sister and her best friend and I walked down through that trail once, can't remember). It's really nice, and the combination of the early fall sun and the turning and falling leaves made for a scene so perfectly fall-like, I had to snap a picture. And I will put one up as soon as I learn how to add a photo onto Blogger.
One other point: Since I was dead set on staying completely at home today, I gave little though to doing anything else. That included, I'm afraid, the United States Open Racquetball Championships. I don't think I've ever played racquetball, let alone watched it. But apparently for the week the best players in the world were in Minneapolis -- well, until this afternoon. I am a big fan of seeing the best players at what they do in the most prestigious tournaments possible. That's why a huge chunk of my latest vacation to St. Louis was spent watching the Sinquefield Cup. But, alas, I had plans, which basically consisted of sitting on my ass. If the racquetball championships are in the Twin Cities next year, though, I'm going. Totally.
I Ripped Myself Off
So I decided I was going to the Minnesota United match last (Saturday) night. Since popularity of soccer has exploded, at most, five years ago, I had the feeling that tickets that were available for cheap back then are no longer. That MNUFC is supposed to be "promoted" to Major League Soccer should make tickets even harder to come by. Nevertheless I didn't want to be priced out of a game that I was able to walk up to and pay minor league baseball prices for as long as I could remember.
I checked availability on the side's website. The popularity of soccer and this team made it really difficult to park, walk up, buy a ticket and concessions and be ready in time to see the kickoff if I came, like, half an hour before, so I wanted to see if I could buy it and not worry about getting there earlier than I wanted to. The cheapest ticket was $15 -- about five bucks more than the rock-bottom price they offer, but not the worst thing in the world. But all the tickets sold through that website has a $3 service fee. I do not do service fees.
I then went to Stubhub. They actually had tickets that were cheaper than the cheapest ones available on the MNUFC site. I used them for the first time when I was vacationing down in St. Louis and wanted to buy a Cardinals ticket without any hassle. But while I was about to check out, the ticket, which initially was about $13, jumped up to, like, $21. There's eight bucks in added fees?!?! Uh, no thanks.
Therefore, I decided to take my chances and buy a ticket there. And I would try and get there early to avoid traffic and to have enough time to buy a ticket and food and a drink and pee so I could watch the whole 90 minutes. I knew, however, that I probably wouldn't do that if the college football games that began at 2:30 were close as they were winding down, which would be around 6, which was the best time for me to go early. I left between 6:10 and a quarter after because Wisconsin was able to get the ball back late and kick the game-winning Field Goal. I was afraid that would make me late, but I wasn't.
So my plan was actually working. But then who do I see? A scalper! So I'm not the only person noting the sudden popularity of soccer!
We make the subtle, wordless eye contact that makes the interaction between scalper and scalpee mere millimeters different from that between closeted gay dudes down for some stranger fucking at a public park. "I have something perfect for you," he says, of course. It's midfield, which I don't care about, because I was going to stand up and watch the whole match pitchside. The price for too good of a seat was far more than what I wanted to pay for, but he said that the cheapest seat at the box office was $17, and we could just finish the transaction without me needing to walk all the way up there for $20. Cool. Deal.
And it was only after the match and after watching the U.S. Men's National Team choke in the CONCACAF Cup Play-In Game that I realized, Wait, wasn't I trying to save money on a ticket by buying it at the box office? So why the hell did I just give some stranger five bucks (well, three bucks if this guy was telling me the truth) more than I vowed to spend?
God, I'm stupid.
I checked availability on the side's website. The popularity of soccer and this team made it really difficult to park, walk up, buy a ticket and concessions and be ready in time to see the kickoff if I came, like, half an hour before, so I wanted to see if I could buy it and not worry about getting there earlier than I wanted to. The cheapest ticket was $15 -- about five bucks more than the rock-bottom price they offer, but not the worst thing in the world. But all the tickets sold through that website has a $3 service fee. I do not do service fees.
I then went to Stubhub. They actually had tickets that were cheaper than the cheapest ones available on the MNUFC site. I used them for the first time when I was vacationing down in St. Louis and wanted to buy a Cardinals ticket without any hassle. But while I was about to check out, the ticket, which initially was about $13, jumped up to, like, $21. There's eight bucks in added fees?!?! Uh, no thanks.
Therefore, I decided to take my chances and buy a ticket there. And I would try and get there early to avoid traffic and to have enough time to buy a ticket and food and a drink and pee so I could watch the whole 90 minutes. I knew, however, that I probably wouldn't do that if the college football games that began at 2:30 were close as they were winding down, which would be around 6, which was the best time for me to go early. I left between 6:10 and a quarter after because Wisconsin was able to get the ball back late and kick the game-winning Field Goal. I was afraid that would make me late, but I wasn't.
So my plan was actually working. But then who do I see? A scalper! So I'm not the only person noting the sudden popularity of soccer!
We make the subtle, wordless eye contact that makes the interaction between scalper and scalpee mere millimeters different from that between closeted gay dudes down for some stranger fucking at a public park. "I have something perfect for you," he says, of course. It's midfield, which I don't care about, because I was going to stand up and watch the whole match pitchside. The price for too good of a seat was far more than what I wanted to pay for, but he said that the cheapest seat at the box office was $17, and we could just finish the transaction without me needing to walk all the way up there for $20. Cool. Deal.
And it was only after the match and after watching the U.S. Men's National Team choke in the CONCACAF Cup Play-In Game that I realized, Wait, wasn't I trying to save money on a ticket by buying it at the box office? So why the hell did I just give some stranger five bucks (well, three bucks if this guy was telling me the truth) more than I vowed to spend?
God, I'm stupid.
Saturday, October 10, 2015
I No Longer Care Who's Hanging On The Telephone
Last (Friday) evening, as I was leaving for the Gopher women's hockey game (quick aside and judgement: They could have won 70-0 over St. Cloud St., but they didn't look sharp; they had many moments where they threaded passes in front of the net but either the player wasn't there or she missed on the shot), the phone rang. I ignored it.
I've ignored the home phone a lot lately. In fact, I don't remember the last time I answered it. These days -- shoot, I might as well say the past several years, or at least ever since Grandmother was thrown out of the house -- no one of any importance has called us through the land line. Since we got Caller ID lo those many years ago we've been able to see who exactly is calling, and for nearly every single incoming call we have no idea who it is. Most of the time the call reads "Toll-Free," so I think we could safely say that it's a telemarketer. The only identification I can trace are the calls in the name of my alma mater ... but those are usually work-study students soliciting money from me, so they are telemarketers.
The times I have picked up the phone I often don't hear anyone. It's silence followed, a few seconds later, by a click. At first I thought, "Why the hell did you call me then?" But then I read on National Public Radio that in fact it might be a tactic scammers use. Answering the phone actually is a first step on the way to someone stealing my identity. So, in my mind, the thing I should do (and my parents usually do nowadays) is to ignore the call so that the robo-callers think that there's no one living there anymore, or at least the person living there will be much harder to get bank information from than someone who does pick up.
So I no longer pick up, which is weird. I grew up answering the phone. I mean, if a phone rings, you answer it, don't you? But the land line has become more of a weak point protecting our personal identity than a means of communication; we have our cell phones to communicate instead. So it has become easy to flat out ignore it. Those rings have become white noise; my thoughts are interrupted when I hear the first ring, but thereafter I go about my business. And in the case last (Friday) evening, I have no qualms walking out the door and letting it ring until it wears out.
That brings up one thing that I don't want to think about: If our home phone is useless, why even bother paying for the home phone number anymore? It costs about 35 bucks to have it, but I can't say we're using it at all. But I am very loathe to cut the cord. For one thing, that land line might come in handy in case of emergency. Can't imagine what that would be, but it feels good to have more than one line of communication just in case. The more sentimental reason for me is that we have had this house number for as long as I can remember. I'm sure that we have had it since they moved into this house. It's because a part of our identity, even if it is of no use to us now. Getting rid of that would be getting rid of a part of ... well, me, kind of like losing The Store.
So, I'll continue to waste money on the phone line for the phone number, and I'll be just fine ignoring the phone the only times it makes itself heard.
I've ignored the home phone a lot lately. In fact, I don't remember the last time I answered it. These days -- shoot, I might as well say the past several years, or at least ever since Grandmother was thrown out of the house -- no one of any importance has called us through the land line. Since we got Caller ID lo those many years ago we've been able to see who exactly is calling, and for nearly every single incoming call we have no idea who it is. Most of the time the call reads "Toll-Free," so I think we could safely say that it's a telemarketer. The only identification I can trace are the calls in the name of my alma mater ... but those are usually work-study students soliciting money from me, so they are telemarketers.
The times I have picked up the phone I often don't hear anyone. It's silence followed, a few seconds later, by a click. At first I thought, "Why the hell did you call me then?" But then I read on National Public Radio that in fact it might be a tactic scammers use. Answering the phone actually is a first step on the way to someone stealing my identity. So, in my mind, the thing I should do (and my parents usually do nowadays) is to ignore the call so that the robo-callers think that there's no one living there anymore, or at least the person living there will be much harder to get bank information from than someone who does pick up.
So I no longer pick up, which is weird. I grew up answering the phone. I mean, if a phone rings, you answer it, don't you? But the land line has become more of a weak point protecting our personal identity than a means of communication; we have our cell phones to communicate instead. So it has become easy to flat out ignore it. Those rings have become white noise; my thoughts are interrupted when I hear the first ring, but thereafter I go about my business. And in the case last (Friday) evening, I have no qualms walking out the door and letting it ring until it wears out.
That brings up one thing that I don't want to think about: If our home phone is useless, why even bother paying for the home phone number anymore? It costs about 35 bucks to have it, but I can't say we're using it at all. But I am very loathe to cut the cord. For one thing, that land line might come in handy in case of emergency. Can't imagine what that would be, but it feels good to have more than one line of communication just in case. The more sentimental reason for me is that we have had this house number for as long as I can remember. I'm sure that we have had it since they moved into this house. It's because a part of our identity, even if it is of no use to us now. Getting rid of that would be getting rid of a part of ... well, me, kind of like losing The Store.
So, I'll continue to waste money on the phone line for the phone number, and I'll be just fine ignoring the phone the only times it makes itself heard.
Friday, October 9, 2015
Well, Last Night Was A Fucking Disaster In More Ways Than One
I really didn't think my alma mater could lose, but they did. So infuriating. The turnovers early didn't help, especially the one that was immediately parlayed into a Halfback Touchdown. The offensive line barely kept our Quarterback upright and the defensive line was completely unable to pressure their QB. The talent started to match the mismatch I thought was apparent when they drove late in the game, but that didn't stop our Head Coach from attempting a Field Goal when we all thought there was only one drive left and we needed to go all the way for a TD late in the fourth quarter. And then our Kicker misses it. What the fuck?
And only one couple showed up. It's my old friend and his gal. Without them no one would have showed up. I said it before and I'll say it again: If no one shows up, what the fuck am I doing this for? I was walking there and worrying about me being the only person there (although thank God I texted this guy and he came), and I wanted to turn back because I knew this felt like an exercise in humiliation. And Buddha bless these two, but it was.
And it's going to be even worse now that our team lost. Who the hell wants to go downtown and pay $6 to see an overrated team? I wouldn't. Too bad I'm President and have to do this.
The only good thing about this is that I have ten days not to think about this. I have to worry about this guy coming over and mowing the lawn, and from then on, tonight, all day tomorrow and all day Sunday I don't have to worry about a goddamn thing. Me pitying myself for doing things and not getting appreciated for it can wait for another day.
And only one couple showed up. It's my old friend and his gal. Without them no one would have showed up. I said it before and I'll say it again: If no one shows up, what the fuck am I doing this for? I was walking there and worrying about me being the only person there (although thank God I texted this guy and he came), and I wanted to turn back because I knew this felt like an exercise in humiliation. And Buddha bless these two, but it was.
And it's going to be even worse now that our team lost. Who the hell wants to go downtown and pay $6 to see an overrated team? I wouldn't. Too bad I'm President and have to do this.
The only good thing about this is that I have ten days not to think about this. I have to worry about this guy coming over and mowing the lawn, and from then on, tonight, all day tomorrow and all day Sunday I don't have to worry about a goddamn thing. Me pitying myself for doing things and not getting appreciated for it can wait for another day.
Thursday, October 8, 2015
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
First of all, I cannot let this survey pass without noting that last weekend may have been The Worst Weekend In Twin Cities Sports History. The Vikings, Twins, Lynx and Gopher football teams went a combined 0-6 between from Friday through Sunday. I'll elucidate more in each of their slugs, but I don't remember so many local teams failing at the same time since ... well, actually, now that I think about it, since some time earlier this year. Minnesota sports seems to have a "Black Weekend" much more frequently than other cities, and it pisses me off, it really does.
#-1: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -2). Polls don't matter, thank goodness. A lot of that has to do with the fact that a lot of the rankings is based on reputation, not results.
I mean, I'm not upset that the University of Minnesota volleyball team is rocketing up the rankings; they jumped up from 16 to 11 for this week's poll. But remember that they started out of the AVCA Top 25 to begin the year. Should they have been able to vault into the doorstep of the top 10 with an 11-3 record? I could see an incremental step for this week's poll, maybe 15 or even 14. But 11? You have to thank Dr. Mike Hebert for imprinting on the sport's voters that Minnesota is one of the 20 best programs (well, besides last year) in v-ball.
Nonetheless, I was at Saturday's win against then-seventh-ranked Illinois at the Sports Pavilion. The attendance was 4,111, which may be as high as the team has ever gotten at the Pav. And all of us were treated to one hell of a game. I thought the Gophs were done after the Fighting Illini repeated what they did in Set 2 by winning Set 3 by a score of 25-22. But the energy the club seemed to have lost in those sets came back ... and with a vengeance; they blitzed Illinois in Set 4 25-10, then put away the Illini in the middle of Set 5 to take the match, 15-6. It was weird to see essentially two different teams between the third and fourth sets, but a spell for the setter may have done the trick.
Fans who follow the squad closer than I do say that this year's team has the depth that last year's lacked. Hope that's the thing that places them back in the volleyball firmament again. But they will be sorely test this week as they have three matches, all of them on the road: Maryland Friday, Rutgers Sunday, then the big one vs. Wisconsin Wednesday.
#-2: Vikings (Last Week: -1). Hmmm ... I am keeping the Vikes above the soccer team for this week's WMNSS, but I don't know why. Both teams lost their only game of the screening week (and seeing that I am only into the second team and I already am trying to sort out teams with disappointing weeks, this is very sad for the Twin Cities sports scene). But I like what I saw in the team even though they lost to Peyton Manning and the Minnesota Vikings.
I can be charitable on both sides. With one very notable exception, the run defense was very good, and even though Manning remains very accurate (although his arm strength issues did not go away on Sunday), the Vikings managed to pick him off twice. Turnovers were a big issue with this team last year, and the ability to stop opponents' drives cold by interceptions means the D will take a big step forward.
Saying that, I was more impressed with Teddy Bridgewater. Yes, he fumbled the ball on the last offensive play of the game, when two Broncos defenders blitzed on his right side. But I believe the commentators when they said that Bridgewater played with poise, because he does. The confidence to not panic and sit in the pocket just a second later in the hopes of finding the open receiver will do wonders for the passing game (where Mike Wallace and not Charles Johnson, who of course was on my fantasy team, has become the go-to guy) and give the offense the balance Offensive Coordinator Norv Turner wants. Also, the offensive line has so far played much better than last year, preventing Bridgewater from getting knocked on his ass and even plowing the lines, such as the 49-yard touchdown score from Adrian Peterson on that 4th-and-1. (By the way, did you know that both teams scored TDs on 4th-and-1? I find that interesting.)
Unfortunately I think back-to-back plays decided this game. It was the Blair Wash missed Field Goal followed by the sweep Touchdown by Denver's Ronnie Hillman on the very next play. It was a momentum swinger, but the Walsh FG theoretically would have tied the game at 20. So in my opinion that is the biggest problem with the Vikes right now: the Kicker. I'm afraid he has to go.
They host Kansas City in two weeks after a bye that is too early in the season to be helpful to this team or any team, for that matter.
#-3: Gopher soccer (Last Week: Positive Numbers). They lost their first conference match Friday at Wisconsin 1-0 on a Penalty Kick in the 36th minute. Not a time to panic, although this probably shuts the door on a top-two seed and makes the chance that they'll host the first two rounds of the NCAA Tournament a lot harder. But the road, literally, doesn't stop, as the U., now 14th, 20th or 27th (depending on which poll you look at) plays at a very good Nebraska side tonight (Thursday night) and at Iowa Sunday afternoon.
#-4: Lynx (Last Week: 0). This fucking team is going to give me a heart attack. In what may be the most dispiriting loss of "Black Weekend," the Lynx choked up home-court advantage, one they were given as a gift when the New York Liberty were eliminated, when they lost 75-69 at home in Game 1 of the WNBA Finals to the Indiana Fever, the team which also knocked off the Libs. The thing that really grates me about this fucking team is that the Indiana Fever also came into Target Center for Game 1 of the 2012 WNBA Finals and upset them there as well, allowing them to win the series and trophy in Indiana in four games.
Just like then, Tamika Catchings was having a fucking game. The Jynx didn't handle her then, and they didn't handle her now. And also like in 2012, the Jynx were outhustled for rebounds and fouls and were absolutely shitty on the perimeter. This time, however, the club has turned into a two-woman show, with Maya Moore still trying to do her best impression of Kirby Puckett in the 1991 World Series and Sylvia Fowles finally giving Moore help inside (she scored 21 points in Game 2, which coincidentally fell on her 30th birthday).
It's the other players that will sink this squad. Lindsay Whalen and Seimone Augustus are both injured and old. The Lynx needed them to shoot from outside, but their legs (and the Fever's outside D) caused them to shoot a combined 4-for-14. They are shells of what they were, and without both of them drinking the water the old people from Cocoon drank, shells they will remain.
I don't know which player it was, but late in Game 2's win (and thank Buddha the Jynx won at least one game, right?) a Fever player either fouled was given a technical. As the Target Center crowd sarcastically serenaded her, she shook her head and said (the ambient microphone picked up her words, supposedly) something to the effect of, "We ain't coming back." In other words, she is saying the series will end Friday and Sunday when Indiana wins both games.
I'm afraid she's right.
#-5: Gopher football (Last Week: -3). This may be the most demoralizing defeat of "Black Weekend." Yes, Northwestern is a good team and yes, this was on the road. But no points?
I'm not sure which unit I'm more disappointed in. Sure, the offense was punchless. They racked up only 99 yards passing (Mitch Leidner was ony 10-for-21 with one Interception), but they had 25 fewer yards rushing, which was supposed to be the strength of the offense. Meanwhile, the defense allowed 312 total yards of offense and conversions on seven of the Wildcats' 17 third downs.
This is what the program's worst fears come to life: The feeling that this is the same old bad Gophers team we've seen for the past half-century. A win like this was supposed to be the next step. Now, no one's really sure if they can beat Purdue in West Lafayette, Ind., Saturday afternoon.
#-Infinity: Twins (Last Week: -4). It was very alienating that the Twinks wound up their season getting swept at home to Kansas City, thereby allowing the Royals to pass Toronto and claim the best record in the American League and thus home-field advantage throughout the playoffs. (They beat Cleveland Thursday, thus their record for the final screening week is 1-3.) They had a chance to compete, but running into a powerhouse like the Royals (and I never thought I would ever say that phrase) was too much for a team so young. It was also frustrating to see that they got passed record-wise in the end by Anaheim, a team whose late-season run was helped in part by Minnesota, which lost three-of-four to the Angels at home.
But as time passes and the season-ending sweep fades from memory, what will last is the sigh of relief Twins fans can take knowing that the team's worst seems to be behind them. The goal all along was to avoid 90 losses. But finishing above .500 (83-79), and second (albeit a distant second) in the American League Central? All seasons that finish short of a championship is a season of failure, but putting that aside, this year qualifies as a success.
The youth movement for this team has finally commenced, and it's heartening to see that enough of the prospects the organization drafted and signed are good enough to make the Twins a good, if not contending, team. Miguel Sano is the star, for this season and beyond. Barring injury, he should be able to lead this team with 35-45 Home Runs. He will be the next Harmon Killebrew. And with a young-ish nucleus and more prospects coming, a .500 record should be expected next year.
Nevertheless questions abound, questions such as:
#-1: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -2). Polls don't matter, thank goodness. A lot of that has to do with the fact that a lot of the rankings is based on reputation, not results.
I mean, I'm not upset that the University of Minnesota volleyball team is rocketing up the rankings; they jumped up from 16 to 11 for this week's poll. But remember that they started out of the AVCA Top 25 to begin the year. Should they have been able to vault into the doorstep of the top 10 with an 11-3 record? I could see an incremental step for this week's poll, maybe 15 or even 14. But 11? You have to thank Dr. Mike Hebert for imprinting on the sport's voters that Minnesota is one of the 20 best programs (well, besides last year) in v-ball.
Nonetheless, I was at Saturday's win against then-seventh-ranked Illinois at the Sports Pavilion. The attendance was 4,111, which may be as high as the team has ever gotten at the Pav. And all of us were treated to one hell of a game. I thought the Gophs were done after the Fighting Illini repeated what they did in Set 2 by winning Set 3 by a score of 25-22. But the energy the club seemed to have lost in those sets came back ... and with a vengeance; they blitzed Illinois in Set 4 25-10, then put away the Illini in the middle of Set 5 to take the match, 15-6. It was weird to see essentially two different teams between the third and fourth sets, but a spell for the setter may have done the trick.
Fans who follow the squad closer than I do say that this year's team has the depth that last year's lacked. Hope that's the thing that places them back in the volleyball firmament again. But they will be sorely test this week as they have three matches, all of them on the road: Maryland Friday, Rutgers Sunday, then the big one vs. Wisconsin Wednesday.
#-2: Vikings (Last Week: -1). Hmmm ... I am keeping the Vikes above the soccer team for this week's WMNSS, but I don't know why. Both teams lost their only game of the screening week (and seeing that I am only into the second team and I already am trying to sort out teams with disappointing weeks, this is very sad for the Twin Cities sports scene). But I like what I saw in the team even though they lost to Peyton Manning and the Minnesota Vikings.
I can be charitable on both sides. With one very notable exception, the run defense was very good, and even though Manning remains very accurate (although his arm strength issues did not go away on Sunday), the Vikings managed to pick him off twice. Turnovers were a big issue with this team last year, and the ability to stop opponents' drives cold by interceptions means the D will take a big step forward.
Saying that, I was more impressed with Teddy Bridgewater. Yes, he fumbled the ball on the last offensive play of the game, when two Broncos defenders blitzed on his right side. But I believe the commentators when they said that Bridgewater played with poise, because he does. The confidence to not panic and sit in the pocket just a second later in the hopes of finding the open receiver will do wonders for the passing game (where Mike Wallace and not Charles Johnson, who of course was on my fantasy team, has become the go-to guy) and give the offense the balance Offensive Coordinator Norv Turner wants. Also, the offensive line has so far played much better than last year, preventing Bridgewater from getting knocked on his ass and even plowing the lines, such as the 49-yard touchdown score from Adrian Peterson on that 4th-and-1. (By the way, did you know that both teams scored TDs on 4th-and-1? I find that interesting.)
Unfortunately I think back-to-back plays decided this game. It was the Blair Wash missed Field Goal followed by the sweep Touchdown by Denver's Ronnie Hillman on the very next play. It was a momentum swinger, but the Walsh FG theoretically would have tied the game at 20. So in my opinion that is the biggest problem with the Vikes right now: the Kicker. I'm afraid he has to go.
They host Kansas City in two weeks after a bye that is too early in the season to be helpful to this team or any team, for that matter.
#-3: Gopher soccer (Last Week: Positive Numbers). They lost their first conference match Friday at Wisconsin 1-0 on a Penalty Kick in the 36th minute. Not a time to panic, although this probably shuts the door on a top-two seed and makes the chance that they'll host the first two rounds of the NCAA Tournament a lot harder. But the road, literally, doesn't stop, as the U., now 14th, 20th or 27th (depending on which poll you look at) plays at a very good Nebraska side tonight (Thursday night) and at Iowa Sunday afternoon.
#-4: Lynx (Last Week: 0). This fucking team is going to give me a heart attack. In what may be the most dispiriting loss of "Black Weekend," the Lynx choked up home-court advantage, one they were given as a gift when the New York Liberty were eliminated, when they lost 75-69 at home in Game 1 of the WNBA Finals to the Indiana Fever, the team which also knocked off the Libs. The thing that really grates me about this fucking team is that the Indiana Fever also came into Target Center for Game 1 of the 2012 WNBA Finals and upset them there as well, allowing them to win the series and trophy in Indiana in four games.
Just like then, Tamika Catchings was having a fucking game. The Jynx didn't handle her then, and they didn't handle her now. And also like in 2012, the Jynx were outhustled for rebounds and fouls and were absolutely shitty on the perimeter. This time, however, the club has turned into a two-woman show, with Maya Moore still trying to do her best impression of Kirby Puckett in the 1991 World Series and Sylvia Fowles finally giving Moore help inside (she scored 21 points in Game 2, which coincidentally fell on her 30th birthday).
It's the other players that will sink this squad. Lindsay Whalen and Seimone Augustus are both injured and old. The Lynx needed them to shoot from outside, but their legs (and the Fever's outside D) caused them to shoot a combined 4-for-14. They are shells of what they were, and without both of them drinking the water the old people from Cocoon drank, shells they will remain.
I don't know which player it was, but late in Game 2's win (and thank Buddha the Jynx won at least one game, right?) a Fever player either fouled was given a technical. As the Target Center crowd sarcastically serenaded her, she shook her head and said (the ambient microphone picked up her words, supposedly) something to the effect of, "We ain't coming back." In other words, she is saying the series will end Friday and Sunday when Indiana wins both games.
I'm afraid she's right.
#-5: Gopher football (Last Week: -3). This may be the most demoralizing defeat of "Black Weekend." Yes, Northwestern is a good team and yes, this was on the road. But no points?
I'm not sure which unit I'm more disappointed in. Sure, the offense was punchless. They racked up only 99 yards passing (Mitch Leidner was ony 10-for-21 with one Interception), but they had 25 fewer yards rushing, which was supposed to be the strength of the offense. Meanwhile, the defense allowed 312 total yards of offense and conversions on seven of the Wildcats' 17 third downs.
This is what the program's worst fears come to life: The feeling that this is the same old bad Gophers team we've seen for the past half-century. A win like this was supposed to be the next step. Now, no one's really sure if they can beat Purdue in West Lafayette, Ind., Saturday afternoon.
#-Infinity: Twins (Last Week: -4). It was very alienating that the Twinks wound up their season getting swept at home to Kansas City, thereby allowing the Royals to pass Toronto and claim the best record in the American League and thus home-field advantage throughout the playoffs. (They beat Cleveland Thursday, thus their record for the final screening week is 1-3.) They had a chance to compete, but running into a powerhouse like the Royals (and I never thought I would ever say that phrase) was too much for a team so young. It was also frustrating to see that they got passed record-wise in the end by Anaheim, a team whose late-season run was helped in part by Minnesota, which lost three-of-four to the Angels at home.
But as time passes and the season-ending sweep fades from memory, what will last is the sigh of relief Twins fans can take knowing that the team's worst seems to be behind them. The goal all along was to avoid 90 losses. But finishing above .500 (83-79), and second (albeit a distant second) in the American League Central? All seasons that finish short of a championship is a season of failure, but putting that aside, this year qualifies as a success.
The youth movement for this team has finally commenced, and it's heartening to see that enough of the prospects the organization drafted and signed are good enough to make the Twins a good, if not contending, team. Miguel Sano is the star, for this season and beyond. Barring injury, he should be able to lead this team with 35-45 Home Runs. He will be the next Harmon Killebrew. And with a young-ish nucleus and more prospects coming, a .500 record should be expected next year.
Nevertheless questions abound, questions such as:
- Will the Twins sign a Pitcher that is an ace, or at least a #2, since the rest of the rotation may be, at best, #2 1/2's on playoff teams?
- Could Jose Berrios be that ace the franchise needs?
- Will Byron Buxton be decent enough at the plate to match his abilities on the field, or is one of the five best prospects in Major League Baseball -- gulp be a bust?
- Whither Joe Mauer? Could Sano take starts at First Base from him? Should Sano take starts at First Base from him?
- Is Glen Perkins OK to be the Closer for next year, or will it be Kevin Jepsen? Is Perkins done?
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