Maybe I Should Go Back To Using My Day Planner

Forgot to Seafoam the minivan.  It was the perfect time to do it; for the first time in a long time (if ever), I saw the orange "fuel needed" icon light up on the dashboard.  Seafoam says it's best used on an empty tank, and I bought one ... oh, months ago to eventually use.  But I totally forgot.  A cherry on top of a weekend where I could've been better but wasn't.

Guess I shouldn't beat myself up too much about it.  I swear I did it already this winter.  Besides, I put in a grand to fix the water pump, replace the motor mount, upgrade the timing belt and get new brakes (although I hope to Buddha those were free).  I think the minivan, in many ways, works better than my car, at least right now.

But going back to forgetting about the Seafoam ... I wonder if I would have remembered if I had jotted it down?  I don't use my Franklin Quest day planner for much other than writing down what I spend on cash each month.  Also, not to say that I would still forget about the Seafoam since my main concern was just getting gasoline for the minivan.  But you write down lists so you remember what you want to do at a point in the future if you forget.  There'd be a chance that I write down "put gasoline in car," and then later I would remember, "Hey, I have Seafoam, and I wanted to use it on the minivan.  The tank is as empty as I can remember it ever being, so it's the perfect time to use it!"

Now, I need to jot down things I want to do tomorrow.

Less Than A Month Away, But They're Already Back

I have not done anything close to cleaning up before they come home next month, but before I know it, they'll be here.  It sucks because I have about a month left, but that will vanish in a flash -- both because my insouciance will inevitably lead me there, and because I have so many commitments between now and that sad, fateful day.

For example, it appears that already, all my Saturdays are filled up:

• Saturday: I work half a day because my co-worker took another job within the building, and then the MNUFC home opener is early that evening.  I have a few hours inbetween those two things, so I figure I could drop off my old clothes then.
• Next Saturday: The big thing is the big volunteer effort I'm organizing.  It'll be about 40 minutes away in a place I have never been, nor do I plan on going to before then because it's so darn away.  I have the rest of the day free, but I have made an appointment for a massage early that evening.
• Following Saturday: That might be the day my stripper girlfriend comes to clean the house.

Now that I have mapped that off, I kind of know how much time I have all by my lonesome.  I can see clearly when they'll be back.  And with seemingly no time in which I can just do nothing and know I'll have time after that to do what I should do, that's what I mean when I say they're already back.  No joy now; it's an inexorable march to sharing this house again with the people who actually own it.

Knowing this makes me depressed, real depressed.  Instead of going through my stuff, I think I'll take a nap now.

Sorry I Forgot You, Souvenir Cup

Went to the Girls' State High School Hockey Championships last night.  (A sucked, AA was a classic, and I'm glad I went.)  Bought myself a souvenir Coke because I collect souvenir cups and it didn't look like I had this one.

I remember looking at it after the Game but before seeing *****a working at her bar, thinking that maybe I should stop by the parking ramp to drop it off because it looks nerdy walking around with a souvenir cup.  But nah! and I went straight to the bar.

And I forgot the damn thing.  Hugged *****a and promptly left, and I left my souvenir cup.  When I came in with it, *****a asked why I had it, and I told her I collect souvenir cups, and I do.  And then I forget the souvenir cup.

I Messengered *****a if she somehow kept it.  Nope, she replied, and her manager threw it away.

I am so stupid.  I bought the large Coke to keep the cup, I had a chance to keep it in a safe place but decided against it, and then I promptly left the damn thing I had committed to buying and keeping after an hour of eating, drinking and gazing into the eyes of a lovely Amazon.

Well, at least I'm going to the Wild Game in a couple Weeks.  Guess I'll have to buy a Coke then instead of a beer.  (Why not both?)  But still, I hate myself for devoting so much mental energy and telling myself, "KEEP THIS CUP!!!" and then I flat-out forget it.

You know, I probably have forgotten other plastic cups before.  I just have forgotten that I have forgotten about those cups, if that makes any sense.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1).  I think I said in a previous WMNSS that to bump these guys back up into Positive territory, they need to accomplish something notable.  Well, the criteria is kind of squishy, but claiming first place in the Big Ten does it.

They crushed Wisconsin at Mariucci last/Friday night (in a Game I could see on my laptop on ESPNU -- thanks, Sling!) by a score of 5-0.  Ben Meyers scored a natural Hat Trick in the Third Period to cap off the scoring for the Golden Gophers.  That line of Meyers, Matthew Knies and Mason Nevers may be the best Line in men's college hockey.  They have won their last seven.  And coupled with Michigan's Loss to Notre Dame also last/Friday night, Minnesota now leads the B1G.  If they get more Points in tonight's/Saturday night's regular season finale than the Wolverines do in theirs, they win the regular season title and get the bye for next weekend's First Round of the B1G Tournament.  Not like it matters; Head Coach Bob Motzko said he actually wouldn't mind being the 2-seed because that keeps the squad sharp.  Nevertheless, it's an accomplishment.  And hey, as of press time, the U. has risen to fourth in the PairWise, so I can't see how they don't make the NCAA Tournament anyhow.

#0: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -2).  Meanwhile it's eight in a row for the female icers ... and three in a row over Little Sister St. Thomas; they completed a sweep over the Tommies by matching last Friday's 7-1 drubbing by repeating that score the next afternoon at Ridder, then blanked them 4-0 last/Friday night in Game 1 of the First Round of the WCHA Tournament, also at home.  They remain first in the PairWise too, so their spot in the tourney should ... uh, be assured ... ?

I expect them to eliminate UST, then advance to the Final Faceoff, which technically starts after this screening Week.  So they fall off the Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey next Week.

#-1: Gopher softball (Last Week: -6).  Ah, man, they were on such a good roll!  The club finished splendidly in the Littlewood Classic, outlasting Illinois St. in eight Innings last Saturday afternoon, exacting revenge for their tournament-opening defeat by defeating then-21st-ranked host Arizona St. that evening, 7-5, then finally beating Cal in eight Innings.

They have begun their next tourney, the Niner Invitational, with a 5-4 Win over Northern Iowa last/Friday afternoon -- but then had their five-Game winning streak end with a 4-3 Loss to host (and currently 21st-ranked) Charlotte.  Maybe I spoke too soon about these young women not having a successful season.

They play the Panthers again this/Saturday morning, then play Wichita St. later in the afternoon and tomorrow/Sunday morning.

#-2: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  Before I go negative, kudos to Karl-Anthony Towns, who (and I didn't know this until I turned on the TV in the exercise room after I climbed onto the elliptical) competed and won the Three-Point Contest.  He's the first "big man" to do so since ... another Timberwolf at the time, Kevin Love, did so at the All-Star Game a decade ago.

OK, negative time.  The club picked up on their season with an apparently chippy but ultimately invigorating 119-114 victory Thursday at Target Center over The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies.  Sadly, they had another tilt last/Friday night, hosting Philadelphia, and the 76ers decided that was the Game in which James Harden, for whom they traded Ben Simmons, would make his debut for them.  And he poured in 27 Points and dished a dozen Assists as they whipped the Wolves, 133-102.  I thought this was supposed to be the easier part of the schedule.

This Week: At Cleveland, home to Golden State, in Oklahoma City.

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -7).  Yep, it's definitely time to panic now.  Sure, they crushed the Oilers in Edmonton, 7-3.  But they lost at a sorry Ottawa Senators team, 4-3, and then lost in Toronto, 3-1.

Actually, that Senators Loss ended the string of make-up Games the Mild had to make up because of COVID-affected postponements.  There were seven of them.  Minnesota was 3-4 in those contests.  I wonder if they would've lost so many Games if they were able to play them when they were originally scheduled to play them.  Nevertheless, some people pointed to these Games played during the Winter Olympics as a prime chance for the Wild to move up.  Nope.  They now sit in third place in the Central Division, behind St. Louis as well as The Bastard Quebec Nordiques.  And while they still have Games in hand -- as of press time only the New York Islanders have played fewer Games, and both they and the Mild have yet to reach 50 Games played -- they're now facing the prospect of playing all those showdowns in a congested timeframe that the other teams don't have to face.  The hallucinations that this team could win the Stanley Cup are vanishing before our very eyes -- well, at least the eyes of those that are willing to face reality.

Busy Week: Home-and-home with The Bastard Atlanta Flames, then a bad back-to-back road swing with stops in Philadelphia and Buffalo.

#-4: Whitecaps (Last Week: -10).  Whither the Whitecraps?  They split at TRIA last weekend to Metropolitan, but now sit in next-to-last place (albeit via tiebreaker) in the PHF.  And what's the playoff format this Year?  Do all six squads get in with the top two earning a bye?  Or is it, gulp, just the top four clubs?

They'd better start winning.  Unfortunately, two Weeks just over a Week from now they host the Connecticut Whale for two.  There are two really good teams this season.  One is the Toronto Six.  The other is Connie.

#-5: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -8).  Crushed Northwestern by 17, and then were game before losing to Wisconsin, 68-67.  Both Games were at home, by the way.  Can you consider that tilt vs. the Badgers a moral victory?  They finish the home portion of their regular season tomorrow/Sunday evening against Indiana.

#-6: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -9).  Got their asses kicked in Nebraska, who is not a good team, and then immolated Illinois, who is a truly terrible squad, at Williams by 33.  I wish I knew how to do that shrug emoji.  Anyway, they finish the Year tomorrow/Sunday afternoon at Penn St., and then the B1G Tournament begins in Indianapolis starting on Wednesday.

#-7: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -3).  Dropped the last three Games of a four-Game series to Florida Atlantic over the weekend, then began their Week-long stint at the Twins' minor league complex with a 13-5 ass-kicking at the hands of Florida Gulf Coast.  But at least they ended on a good note, beating Northeastern yesterday/Friday afternoon, 3-1.

Host a two-Game series versus Indiana St. this weekend, then finally come home to play nine consecutive Games at U. S. Bank Stadium.  There are one-offs against St. Thomas and South Dakota St., then there is this big ... uh, I don't know what they're officially calling it, but the Gophers and two other Big Ten teams are playing a pseudo-round-robin with West Virginia, Kansas and Notre Dame next weekend.

Damn You, Sunrise

It's getting to that time of the year where the sun is rising sooner and sooner.  It has gotten to the point of the day where I can see dawn breaking as I head out to work.

And right now, in the morning, all I can think of is, "Damn you, sunrise."

Why is that?  Winter mornings are very, very cold.  Of course I and everyone else don't want to trundle out in the cold to start the car in order to start another day working for the man.  I should be overjoyed that I can finally see the light on the horizon because it augurs warmer (at least not cold) days ahead.  But I'm not.

I can grasp at a couple theories.  For one, my desk, where I work at the Main Department, is oriented so that my back is turned toward the outside windows.  It just so happens that those windows face east, so that when the sun rises, it rises through those windows.  This happens no matter the time of year, but right now I am supremely annoyed that the sun penetrates the windows and bounces off the window that I face when I'm working, which means I can see that reflection and it burns a hole in my retina.  I have been used to not dealing with that problem until later in the morning (and I obviously don't have to when it's cloudy out), but now that dawn breaks early, that problem is foremost in mind ... well, until the sun rises high enough in the sky that its rays doesn't stream through the window, at which point I forget.  (Oh, yeah; we do have blinds to block the sun's rays, but a couple of the vertical slats are missing, and one of them just happens to be right behind me, so I can see the fucking goddamn sun through the outside window and the reflection off of the window I face.)

Another thing: I remember all the times I drive to work on the highway, and I need to drive east.  I don't have to worry about driving into the sun in the middle of morning rush hour.  But pretty soon I'll have that hot globe lighting up my windshield in fire and I'll have no idea where the hell I'm going.  That's beyond annoying; that's dangerous.

What I think my main issue is something more abstract but more fundamental, at least in my mind: As much as I know seasons change, I hate change.  It did kind of suck that I woke up in darkness and, until about Christmas or so, I drove home from work in darkness.  But I got used to it.  Well, I have to admit I like waking up in the dark too -- it was the cold that got to me.  Anyway, it took me, oh, a couple weeks after Daylight Saving Time kicked in for me to adjust, but adjust I did.  And now, after about three or four months, I have to adjust again.  And I don't like that.

Yeah, maybe I'll eventually get used to waking up to driving home in light.  But as much as winter sucks with the cold and the snow, there are some creature comforts with the night that I have an intrinsic affinity with.  And that'll be gone very, very soon.  Sun, I'm sure you'll be a trusted ally.  But not right now.  You need to give me some time and space for me to process you.

Found Her Again!

So there was this flighty stripper, ******a, who doesn't do anything to me but gives me massages while I'm naked and still gets me hard because she's so fucking hot.  Our massage sessions stopped because I could not get ahold of her.  And I drove by her apartment a couple times after she pseudo-ghosted me and it looked as though she had moved (have I blog posted about this already?).

Well, I didn't remember that we are friended on Facebook.  I had forgotten that because 1) she doesn't use Facebook all that often and 2) whenever I went over to her old apartment she was absolutely fucking paranoid that she was being watched, and you should know that Facebook tracks you incessantly and completely whenever you're on it.  And yet I was surprised that, as I was catching up on status updates and saw one from a mutual friend (also an ex-stripper), she "loved" it.  "Hey," I thought, "she lives!" and I took a flier and went on Messenger to say hi.  And she said hi back!

We communicated through Messenger all day yesterday and last night.  She is willing to massage me again.  ******a asked if we could do it at my place ... and since my parents are gone, fuck yeah we can do it at my place!  Man, my relationship with strippers is healing!

Now I just hope that ******a can actually get to my house.  One time we had arranged to meet at our mutual Target, and she got lost and said she just could not make it there, so I had to drive all the way out to meet her back at her apartment.  Come to think of it, while it feels great to be back communicating with her, there's no guarantee she'll "cum" and massage my hip and ass.  Like I said, she's flighty.  She said she needed till next week to schedule a time; maybe she'll forget about me by then.  I'll have to get back in touch with her next week if she's lost her hot mind again.

Cheating On My Drink?

I should blog post about the amount of alcohol I need to drink before my folks come home.  At any rate, I am drinking on cocktail I am making for myself most days of the week.  That included yesterday/Tuesday, but I wasn't planning on making myself a margarita until I learned yesterday/Tuesday morning that it was National Margarita Day, and so I just had to make a marg for myself.  Not bad; I think I'm getting good at it.  I strictly follow the International Bartenders Association's recipe for it, and the only thing that would make it a margarita I'm truly familiar with is the salted rim, which I can't do.

But instinctively and maybe reflexively, late tonight I opened up a bottle of Boathouse Farms Berry Boost after cleaning the dishes in the laundry room downstairs.  I was thirsty and this chore wasn't all that enjoyable, so even though I had drank the margarita just a half-hour before, I felt the need to drink something else -- something non-alcoholic.

And now I feel guilty.  It feels as though a cocktail should be the last thing you drink in the evening, you know what I mean?  OK, maybe you don't.  But I don't remember drinking a cocktail and then later drinking something non-alcoholic.  Now I oftentimes drink water with my alcohol to make sure I hydrate, and I think I have done that many times when fixing myself a drink the past few months.  But fruit juice?  This might be the first time I have drunk something, uh, substantial after consuming a cocktail.  And I feel as though I have ruined the marg I made for myself by defiling my palate with a different drink.

Shit.  I feel like a heel.  I feel like I should make myself another alcoholic drink -- both to make sure that's the last substantial thing I drink tonight and to forget that I cheated on my margarita with a non-alcoholic drink.

Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Monday, February 21:

• After another shit-ass day at The Fourth Department -- I was lucky I left at 7 because that was 9 1/2 hours, and my boss would definitely have questions if I stayed even till 7:01 -- I totally deserved getting a drink.  I feel really, really cool going to bars with hidden entrances, like the OG place, Volstead's in Uptown.  I wanted to dive in there for a couple hours to myself before the snowstorm hits, but luckily, the snowstorm didn't really hit by the time I got out of there 90-120 later.  (As of press time the blizzard still hasn't hit yet.)  So I indulged in not one but two cocktails, the first of which was a "dealer's choice" of a Sazerac, a cocktail not on Volstead's menu.  I feel special whenever a bartender makes an off-menu drink for me.  Weird, however, having two separate cups of different elixirs with which, according to the bartenders, I was supposed to sip alternately.  My second drink, a gin-based concoction called The Cure, was even better.  And I had an entree, braised pork, and then an appetizer, shrimp cocktail.  I didn't think I was going to spend that much, but again, it was a shitty day at work, so I treated myself.  With tip: $85.
  
• I'm glad Volstead's was open on a Monday, even if it was quiet.  Nevertheless, they still had music, namely a ragtime player named Daniel.  He took requests; he played "Skylark" for me, which he knew how to play because it was on his set list.  Unfortunately, he could not cope with even knowing how to play "'Round Midnight."  That's cool.  Nice to hear some entertainment on a slow Monday night.  So I tipped him: $4.
• On Valentine's Day I was looking for love at the strip club in St. Paul.  First time I was there in a while.  Mostly stayed away because of COVID, but this was the holiday in which to break out.  Unfortunately, I knew none of the strippers there, and the ones that were did not interest me in the slightest.  So all I did there was scroll through my phone and drink two Miller Light cans for the price of one.  I can't imagine going back there again.  With tip I shelled out: $9.
• Leaving there early and feeling kind of burned my night wasn't turning out how I wanted it to, I turned my attention to filling my belly.  I went to Chick-Fil-A because there was a free sandwich that was going to expire in three days' time if I didn't use it.  So it was a perfect time to use it, and that was good to ending this shit-ass Valentine's Day on a good note.  I bought fries too, just to prove to Chick-Fil-A that I wasn't a pure freeloader.  Price of the fries: $2.02.
• Going back to Saturday, February 5 ... went to work for a bit because they needed the help.  Stayed after our shift because we were late.  Has happened a lot this month.  Anyway, I wanted to be alone but out on the town ... well, the happenin' part of my town, which is about ten miles south of me but just north of downtown Minneapolis.  Went to Sociable Cider Works which I thought had a market that was extended across three other craft breweries and distilleries in the area, but now that I think about it, Sociable wasn't one of the four.  I think I went there because I love cider drinks.  It was cold, but the place set up bonfires outside, and I felt like a man picking up pieces of lumber, arranging them in the iron hearths, and warming up my hands as I fed the fires.  Charged my cider drink, but I tipped in cash  Cider tip plus tip: $5.
• I then walked the .7 miles to Able, a brewery I know was a part of the market which I had planned to go to but missed because I chose to work instead.  I actually won a gift certificate to a craft brewery on Twitter, and I chose Able even though I would have preferred, well, Sociable.  I won it in late 2020, I believe, and it was high time I used it (thank God it doesn't expire).  And I hadn't increased my stash of winter hats from breweries in a while, so I used most but not all of my $25 voucher on that and a small beer.  Still have a couple bucks left over.  And I tipped in cash: $2.
• Oh yeah ... earlier that day and before I did my half-shift at work, I went to Wal-Mart because one of my stripper girlfriends, ******e, needed money.  No PayPal, no Venmo -- she wanted me to wire her the money through this thing called Walmart2Walmart.  Seems sketchy as hell, especially after I was surprised to learn I needed to use cash, and especially after the Wal-Mart closest to me was closed the night before and that Saturday morning; there was a note saying the technology malfunctioned or something.  So I drove down to the Wal-Mart closest to work to do this.  Wiring $100 costs eight bucks.  ******e better suck my dick for this.  Total: $108.
• Back to Tuesday the 1st, which was the last day Lisa was shining shoes downtown.  Here's to new beginnings ... and to finding a new person who will polish my Doc's.  Since this was her last time, I gave her double what I usually paid her: $30.
• On Monday, January 31, ****e* finally got to my house and finished cleaning it.  Two days to clean my house?  Well, at least she did it before Chinese New Year.  And she does leave things spic-and-span.  Paid her: $300.
• Sunday the 30th: Was a good day to get my car washed.  Charged the cleaning, but tipped in cash: $4.
• And then, because I did have some time to kill, I went up and ate at El Taco Riendo.  It's a good Mexican place that I patronize from time to time.  Three tacos, a cherry Coke and tip: $8.50

Good through February 21.

To Be A Loved Son

Oh, have I talked about visit my parents in Las Vegas in December?

It was actually pleasant.  Truly pleasant.  Whenever my parents and I are in what is a vacation setting, we have always fought.  Well, it's more like they say something that I deeply resent, and I tell them as such, and shit goes downhill from there.

But that never happened in the four days I visited them.  Not once.  Truly, seriously, there was not one time where we fought.  I have no idea how that happened, but I have to say that if I were younger, I would have responded to on of their offers of bonhomie by raising a time in the past where they did me wrong, and then shit would've gone downhill from there.

I never had that opportunity ... and if I did get what would have been an "opportunity," well, maybe I wouldn't have taken advantage of that.  Because I was treated extremely well by my parents while I was there, from the time they picked me up from McCarran to the time they dropped me off at Reid.  (Funny story that: The Las Vegas International Airport was renamed while I was in Vegas.  Apparently the guy for whom the airport was named, longtime Nevada Senator Pat McCarran, was a rank bigot and anti-Semite.  Because of the killing of George Floyd and the worldwide protests stemming from it, the Clark County Commission, after previous attempts over the years failed, finally voted to rename it after Nevada Senator and longtime Majority Leader Harry Reid in February 2021.  The vote was unanimous, by the way.  Two weeks after it was officially renamed, Sen. Reid passed away.)

My parents treated me like a guest, not as a member of the family.  They served me dinner and lunch and paid for breakfast.  More shockingly, they offered to give me their car to use as I wanted, and they recommended places I could go to have fun and gamble.  And they let me go by myself.  I even offered to do things with them because, really, I wanted to spend some time with them.  But they were good.  They were living the retired life, so they were just puddling around their condominium while I was at the sportsbook.  I don't think they would have just let me go on my own if I were younger.  But I was sure I wouldn't have been quite on my own as I was while I was out there.

But more than that, I remember, was the way they spoke to me.  They were ... nice.  Not cloyingly nice, but they wanted to talk about what was going on and where I wanted to go.  No "oh, you shouldn't go there, that's not safe," no blindsides to past grievances, nothing.  It was beyond refreshing.  It was ... it warmed my heart.  I don't think I ever felt such ... love from my parents than I did those four days.  It has always been judgement and disappointment from them.  (And it didn't help that they might know that I brought the minivan in for some much-needed repairs, but I'll deal with the fallout when I have to.)  This relaxed attitude may have been due to not being in Minnesota, or not needing to work anymore.  But this is the first time in my life that they have treated me like they loved me just for being their son, without conditions.

Was that just for those four days?  Will I miss that feeling?

Addendum To: Addendum To: Stuff I'm Either Selling To Consignment Or Donating To Goodwill

So I decided this was the day to consciously uncouple with the clothes that no longer fit me and possibly get some money from.  And I drive up to the store I wanted to drive up to ... and the fucking place is closed.  Like, permanently closed.  Like, there's no store there anymore.

The website said there's a store there.

I need to call before I go to places I've never been to.  Shit.

Addendum To: Stuff I'm Either Selling To Consignment Or Donating To Goodwill

OK, so that black-with-black-pinstripe suitpant with a matching suitcoat that I was going to keep?  I assume I could get more money if the entire piece stayed together, plus I think it would be wrong of me if I separated the two twins, so I am adding the suitcoat with the suitpant to make a complete suit set.

Therefore, that suit plus two other suits plus a suitvest plus five dress shirts plus four pants (three khakis and one black number) plus one pair of shorts are going to be the ones I attempt to consign.  There are two t-shirts, one pair of shorts, one pair of pants, and that AKA Eddie Bauer tan dress shirt that may be too, uh, worn for me to even try to consign, so to avoid embarrassment, I am going to directly donate those five pieces.

That's the game plan for tomorrow.  Wish me luck.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: 0).  The sample size might be small, and there could be recency bias involved here, but it looks like The Bob Motzko Era has done a good job cleaning up the stultifying ennui that set in at the end of The Don Lucia Era.  At any rate, the finishing touches of a sweep at league leaders Ohio St., followed up by a victory last/Friday night at Penn St., means these Gophers have won five in a row.  Better yet, they beat the Buckeyes 5-1 and the Nittany Lions 3-1.  And doing quick math, during their winning streak, they've outscored their foes 18-7.  The Offense Motzko is known for seems to be kicking in at the right time.

So why have I busted down this team from 0 last Week when there seemingly is nothing they've done to deserve the bust-down?  Well, three of their guys were on Team USA's men's hockey team at the Winter Olympics, and they did lose in the Quarterfinal to Slovakia.  Sure, those guys didn't even know they were going to be representing their country in Beijing until, like, MLK Day.  But did you hear the Game?  They were up 2-1 and choked on the lead, then lost to the Slovaks in a Shootout.  There were no pro players (at least from the NHL, since they're playing catch-up with their season) in the Winter Games, so the medals were truly up for grabs.  The Americans had a prime chance to podium, if not grab gold, since they entered the medal round as the top seed.  Shit, man, they were undefeated!  And they pissed down their legs in the first medal-round Match.  To fucking Slovakia.  And three Goofers were a part of that.  So that has to effect this squad's ranking.  It would be their performances if I didn't.

One more Game in Happy Valley this/Saturday evening, then the final series of the regular season begins Friday versus Wisconsin at Mariucci.

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1).  Completed a home-and-home sweep of St. Cloud St. last Saturday afternoon by crushing the Huskies at Ridder, 5-1, then began a home-and-home series vs. St. Thomas by destroying the Tommies at Inver Grove Heights, 7-1.  Again, there is nothing to gain but everything to lose in this quiet end to their regular season, which ends this afternoon at home vs. UST.  But at least they're winning.  And they have won their last six.

#-3: Gopher baseball (Re-Entry!).  The next season of University of Minnesota baseball began last/Friday evening at Boca Raton, Fla., with a 9-1 Win over Florida Atlantic.  Great start to the regular season, although most things that happen this season should be a goddamn sight better than last Year, when they finished 6-31.  They finish a four-Game series vs. the Owls this weekend, the linger at the Twins' Spring Training site in Fort Myers.  On Wednesday they "host" Florida Gul Coast.  There was supposed to be an exhibition next weekend between the U. and the Twinks, but because of the MLB Lockout, that Exhibition has been canceled.  Instead, they play Northeastern Friday afternoon.

#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3).  I was a the Game against the Charlotte Hornets on Tuesday.  When I was at Target Center for their last Game, against the Bulls, and saw that the Hornets were their next opponent, I wanted to go.  I just had this, uh, urge to see the Charlotte Hornets.  But then I thought one Game per Year was enough.  And then I got an e-mail from the organization saying I could get an upper-level ticket for five bucks, and it was as if the universe was telling me to go.  So I bought a ticket and went.

Between midway through the First Quarter and midway through the Fourth, the Woofs were garbage.  They started out like gangbusters, but the shots didn't drop.  (It gets very conspicuous when all you're doing is shooting threes and bricking most of them, as the Dogs were doing.)  And then they were missing Free Throws.  And then Anthony Edwards sat all of the Second Half because he tweaked his ankle.  So all of a sudden, Charlotte was leading early in the Fourth by 13, and even though the Hornets weren't playing great either, the defensive effort those middle 36 Minutes made me think they just didn't have anything left in the tank.

And then ... I don't know, the Timberwolves realized they had talent on their team and Charlotte really only has LaMelo Ball, Mason Plumlee and Miles Bridges.  They started hitting their Threes again.  They started rebounding again.  And then Karl-Anthony Town took over the Game.  They tied it and in overtime they outdistanced the Hornets for a 126-120 Win.

Aside: KAT drained a Three that gave the Timberwolves the lead late in the Fourth.  It was a momentous moment in a Game that looked lost to the home team, and the crowd was as fired up as, according to many longtime observers, Target Center has been in Years.  And all I could notice is what KAT was doing after sinking that jumper.  He just walked back to the other side of the court -- not with swagger, not even confidently, just ... distant, even sad.  It was if he was sort of, well, ashamed that he hit that jumper.  I wonder if anyone in The Media caught that.

Anyway, I'm glad I went then because they hosted Toronto that next night and that was when the T-Wolves ran out of gas, losing 103-91.  That was the Loss heel that started with a defeat crown to Chicago Friday, which was followed up by a nine-Point Win in Indiana Sunday.  One hopes they could continue to gel and improve, but right now they're still solidly in Play-In position at seventh in the West.

The NBA is in their All-Star Break right now.  Three Wolves, however, don't have a respite.  Both Edwards (with his flip phone ...?!) and Jaden McDaniels participated in the Rising Stars Challenge last/Friday night.  And KAT will at least make a cameo appearance as one of the last players coming off the bench for Sunday's All-Star Game.  And then the whole club resumes play with another back-to-backer at Target: Bastard Vancouver Thursday, Bastard Syracuse Nationals Friday.

#-5: Vikings (Re-Entry!).  All I can say about the hire of Kevin O'Connell as the new Head Coach of the Viking is that if he can somehow convince Kirk Cousins to stay on the team and take a 50% pay cut, he's a God.  And if he can't do that, I'll have to hope new General Manager Kwesi Adofo-Mensah finds a team to which he trades him.  And then the Vikes can start over with a brighter future ahead.

#-6: Gopher softball (Last Week: -4).  The softballers have gotten busy this screening Week, and seeing their results ... I don't think they're going to have a good season.  They went 3-3, and while they beat the likes of somewhat good Fresno St., Longwood, and Texas-El Paso (the last a 10-1 trouncing that got cut short at five Innings), they lost a second time to Georgia (albeit in eight Innings, 5-4), shady for-profit Grand Canyon, and Littlewood Classic host Arizona St., and the Sun Devils kicked their asses, 8-0 that was Mercy-ruled after six.  The ceiling is dramatically lowering.

A repeat showdown with the Sun Devils approaches tonight/Saturday night, after a Game against Illinois St. and before tomorrow/Sunday afternoon's tilt versus Cal.  And then the program takes its caravan to Charlotte, where they'll participate in the Niner Invitational.  They begin that tournament Friday morning against Northern Iowa.

#-7: Wild (Last Week: -6).  Yes, I think it's time to panic.  A close, hold-on 3-2 Win over The Bastard Hartford Whalers Saturday (followed by a 7-4 ass-kicking of Detroit Valentine's Day), they have dropped two straight and looked bad doing it -- 6-3 at The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers, and then 6-2 to really good Florida at the X.  Sure, Matt Dumba was not playing against the Panthers, but he sure isn't four Goals' difference good.

It's starting to look like the Mild are a cut below the real contenders, the Panthers, the Bastard Quebec Nordiques, the Tampa Bay Lightning, etc.  They're still making up Games that were delayed due to COVID-19 protocols, but I don't see that spark, the run of victory after victory that makes me think, Yeah, this team has it.  A bunch of other Mild fans have drunk the Kool-Aid, but leave it to me, again, to be the sober one.

And now they're in Canada for the next Week -- Edmonton tomorrow/Sunday, Ottawa Tuesday, tough Toronto Thursday.

#-8: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -8).  Last Saturday's six-Point home Win over Penn St. was good.  But they went on the road since and got drubbed by 25 in Ohio St. and, in a COVID makeup, lost at Penn St. by 21.  Penn St.!  There are some pro-U. bobos on Twitter that have incessantly cheered on this squad all throughout the Year.  They were beating their chests when they began with a hot non-con, but since the losing has set in they're trumpeting the "non-stop effort," and the "culture that's starting to form," blah-blah-blah.  This team sucks.  It's OK that they suck this Year, because it's Ben Johnson's first Year.  But they suck, and trying to deflect toward otherwise is not telling the truth and, frankly, pathetic.

They have a three-Game homestand, their final Home Games of the season.  Northwestern this/Saturday afternoon, Wisconsin Wednesday.

#-9: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -5).  In their only Game of the screening Week, they lost at home to Rutgers by 18.  The Scarlet Knights' Head Coach, the legendary Vivian Stringer, is taking the Year off.  They were 8-17.  And they had only one B1G victory.  And they beat the Goofers.  On the road.  By 18.

This team really sucks.  And they don't have the excuse of a Head Coach in her first Year on the job.

At Nebraska tomorrow/Sunday afternoon, then home to Illinois Thursday.

#-10: Whitecaps (Last Week: -2).  You know, I think it's only fair for me to spread the scorn in the WMNSS.  I don't know if there's been a time in the regular season when I have put the Premier Hockey Federation club last (I have put them last when they lost the Isobel Cup Final), so I am going to place these women down here because they got swept last weekend in Toronto.  Therefore, I can now unveil, for real, my insulting name for this team: The Whitecraps.  Yes, you all played like crap last week, so I am going to call y'all the Whitecraps.  Or the 'Craps.

The Whitecraps play at TRIA versus the Metropolitan Riveters this weekend.

Stuff I'm Either Selling To Consignment Or Donating To Goodwill

I have a lot of stuff that no longer fit me and thus no longer have use in my possession.  I am going to try and go to a consignment shop and see if I can get some money from them, but I have no idea how they work, and so I don't know if I'm going to be laughed out of the store I decide to go to.

The following are items of clothing I am either consigning or, failing that, donating.  Unless I specify otherwise, I am donating these only because they no longer fit me:

• A suit, gray/white, it has that, uh, pixelated pattern, for lack of a better way to describe it.  The tag says it's an "Expressions" suit ... ?  I have never worn it.  My parents may have given it to me when I was young, but I'm not sure.
• Joseph & Feiss International ... olive suit ... I believe this is the suit I wore to my cousin's wedding reception to his first wife.  This is the one into which I tried to fit my fat body, and in suffering through an afternoon full of constriction, asphyxiation and sweating, I realized I am getting real, real fat.
• Dark gray suitpants, or at least I think they are ... oh, man -- J. Crew?  Did I buy this?
• Black suitpants with black pinstripes ... don't see a label ... I remember wearing this frequently before I outgrew it ... I'm thinking now that, even though the suitcoat still fits me, would it make more sense to just keep the set and either consign or donate them as a whole?
• Olive-colored suitvest from Claiborne ... I remember buying it because I wanted to look extra cool while wearing a suit.  And I still think wearing a vest while wearing a suit is extra cool.  I should look into buying another suitvest.
• White dress shirt, from Woodward, whatever that is.
• White dress shirt, from Stratum, whatever that is.
• Dress shirt, white with blue vertical stripes, from Wentworth.
• Another white dress shirt from Woodward, but it's actually "Woodward Fitted."
• White dress shirt from Express.  I remember buying this one.  The number of times I wore this shirt I probably can count on both hands and possibly on one.
• Black cargo pants with black patterns from, uh ... looking at the label it's "england's dreaming ... KEANAN DUFFTY" ... these pants might fit me, but I don't think I'll ever wear them (I have decided against trying them on) because it has a shank button fly.  I wonder if I could use these for stripper parties ... nah.
• Ah, dammit ... blue jeans from 7 For All Mankind.  I really wanted this label because my sister said these were cool jeans.  And I bought them at a discount at ... I want to say one of the Macy's that was going out of business.  I thought I got a steal when I bought the last of these jeans at a cut-rate price, but even then it was kind of a snug fit.  And I just got older and fatter and, well, it doesn't matter that I own cool jeans if I can't fit in them.
• Khaki cargo pants from Covington.  Sure my parents bought them for me from somewhere.
• Tan dress shirt from AKA Eddie Bauer.  Probably one of the first dress shirts I purchased for myself.  Takes me back, man.
• White Gap Pocket-T.  Does fit, but it's full of holes.
• T-shirt, white and gunmetal gray horizontal stripes, also from the Gap.  Also has a bunch of holes, but they're entirely around the collar.  Some of the holes are huge, so I can't wear it anymore.  I don't think, by the way, that getting rid of two t-shirts from the Gap is an indication of the clothier's quality.  I had used both shirts a lot, and for a long time, so I think they have served their time on Earth, and then some.
• Tan shorts from American Eagle Outfitters.  It's possible they fit me, but I doubt it.  Also, there is a hole in the right ass pocket, where I put all my loose change, so I think I'll pass this on.
• Light tan Polo Ralph Lauren shorts.  I had purchased a lot of tan shorts when I was younger, and there are a lot of tan clothes (not just shorts) I am going to have to give.
• Tan cargo pants ... label: Basic Editions, so ... K-Mart?  Parents bought them for me.  I know I outgrew these; there's a huge, mismatched white button in the front of the pants, which means I popped the original one.
• Light tan cargo pants from -- PHYS.SCI???  Where do my parents find these clothes?  Anyway, I'm sure they still fit me, but there's a giant hole in the right ass pocket, and I don't think I want to deal with forgetting about the hole and hearing all my loose coins fall to the ground at the most inopportune time when I have plenty of other pants I can wear instead.

For the record, I found the matching suitcoat for the black-with-black-pinstripes suitpants.  It's from a label called Lanerossi, and that suit served me very well over the years.  Also, I had packed white shorts from something called Honors.  Thought it didn't fit me, but they do.  I may have decided that I couldn't wear them anywhere, but even though it has a shank button fly, the elastic waistband isn't worn out yet, so I am taking a chance that I could wear them as summer porno shorts.

So I'm in the lab dipping my hand in piss this morning.  Hadn't done it in a while while my co-workers have been in there before, so it's my turn.  Still, don't like it.  Anticipated it by going to bed early.  I think the last time I went in there my day turned real bad after another bad encounter back there, so I am going to do my best not to go to a dark space, and having a good night's sleep is hopefully one way to counteract that.  Five-and-a-half-to-six hours is, I also hope, is a way to start off on the right foot.  Wish me luck.

Cable/Satellite On My Computer

I finally bit the bullet and bought my first streaming site: Sling.  I wanted to watch sports, but I can't go the bar or the gym every time I want to see something on cable or satellite.  Sling had advertised itself as the low-cost streaming site, and it doesn't have all the sports channels I want (and I wanted a streamer mostly for sports), but it had enough whereby I bought a smallish package.

There are two basic packages Sling offers.  I took the one that did not have Fux News.  As much as I wanted a streamer mostly for sports, I realized when making this decision that being able to get such a service without Fux News was the most important factor to me.  Because Fux News is everywhere.  Sometimes at the gym, when I turn on the TV, the channel that first appears is Fux News, which indicates that at least a few braindead Republicans work out.  I have also heard that many businesses and waiting rooms that leave their TV sets on are encouraged to leave it on Fux News.  That's another way propaganda spreads.  I was surprised, maybe even shocked, that a streaming site offers a package without Fux News.  But Sling's ... uh, either its Orange or Blue package, can't remember which one, that package leaves out that poisonous bullshit.  That also leaves out Fox Sports 1, which shows a lot of sports I want to see, but I'm OK with that.  (I don't know if Fux News and FS1 are a package deal, and if Sling wanted to leave out one, they had to leave out the other.)

I've watched a lot of college basketball.  I am seeing the NHL on Turner Network Television for the first time.  It has the sports networks for the ACC, SEC and Pac-12, which will be great when the spring sports season comes around.  This is costing me about $40 a month.  I don't know if I can justify that, but I can cancel at any time.  Hey, I've got a steady job and so I don't think I'm living beyond my means.

The Ruined Condolence Card

On Friday I signed a condolence card; one of my co-workers lost her mother.  And I wrote something down only to make a goddamn spelling error; I think I meant to write "you" but got "your" in my head and stupidly split the difference and wrote "yor."  So I had to scratch it off awkwardly so I could write what I mean to write.

But isn't that embarrassing, making a mistake on a condolence card?  You shouldn't do that.  You just shouldn't.  It is supposed to be a gesture of sympathy, even love.  I don't think it's too much to ask not to fuck it up.  But I did.  Now there's this motherfucking scribble to blot out the "r" I didn't mean to write on a symbol meant to convey prayerful thoughts for a co-worker's profound loss.  And I'll bet you that's the only mistake on the card.  My co-worker will see it, then immediately direct her attention to my goddamn scratch-off and go, "What an idiot!"

Making that mistake bothers me so.

Yeah, let's ignore how nearly all of my Super-Specific Predictions for the Super Bowl didn't pan out.  Instead, I want to note that I ordered Pizza Hut -- used points to get a free large pizza but paid for the stuffed crust and cheesy breadsticks -- and unlike the first time I ate pizza while watching the NFL playoffs, I was not able to eat everything in one sitting.  Far from it: I left half the pie and half the breadsticks.  The cheese from the stuffed crust might have done me in.  Or maybe it was the chili I ate just before I worked out in anticipation of gorging myself alongside the Game.

For the record, once my stomach told me no more, I chopped off the rest of the crust from the pizza and ate it because I don't think that cheese was going to be good after a day in the refrigerator.  I did not do the same for the cheesy breadsticks, however, and so I am wondering how to heat those back up.  At any rate, I have four crust-less pizzas and four pieces of cheesy breadsticks left, so I am guessing I have two days of leftovers.  And I have another five pounds to burn off, courtesy of the pizza and the cheesy breadsticks ... and the baby can of Coke and the baby can of Pepsi and the baby can of Pepsi Wild Cherry and the rest of the Barq's root beer I had for my pop from Burger King from Saturday ... as well as the lemon drop martini I made for myself ... and the Bai and VitaminWater I got after I worked out, both of which have no sugar and still was very tasty ... and I think that's it.

My Super-Specific Predictions For Super Bowl LVI

I'll be honest with you: I cannot read SBLVI.  This is as uncertain a prediction -- both for the bottom-line score and the happenings within it -- as I've done for any Super Bowl on Wailing And Failing.  I am as perplexed as to how both teams made it.  Hey, more power to them.

But, for example: I had The Bastard Cleveland-With-A-20-Year-Bit-In-St. Louis Rams as my Super Bowl-winning team when the season started because the only apparent missing piece was Quarterback and they cleared out their First Round Draft pick inventory to bring in Matthew Stafford, a guy many know to be someone who's really good despite being stuck on a shitty team.  And then Owner Stan Kroenke, overcompensating to make sure his steal-back from St. Louis was worth it, turned into the football version of the Showtime Lakers and allowed trades for Von Miller and Odell Beckham, Jr. mid-season.  They should be marauding through the season and playoffs.  And yet they needed a miraculous pass from Stafford to Cooper Kupp to survive Tampa Bay (and end Tom Brady's career), then survive a slog before Jimmy Garoppolo proved his detractors right late in the Fourth Quarter of the NFC Championship Game.  I don't care what Football Outsiders says, including the Defense; the Rams are underachieving.

The Cincinnati Bengals, on the other hand, can be described as overachieving -- can.  I am incredibly impressed by Joe Burrow (whose nickname from now on should be Joe Cool) and Ja'Marr Chase, and I am confident that they'll be a connection that NFL fans will love for the next five Years at least.  However, they have had as much good luck handed to them as any team I've seen in any postseason.  They had to make a stand to fend off The Bastard Oakland-By-Way-Of-Los Angeles Raiders and then had the gift of not one but two QBs (Ryan Tannehill and then, inexplicably, Patrick Mahomes) suffering brainfarts late in their Games to win.  Yes, I am cherry-picking when I go to the same stats I ignore about the Rams when I use them to show how fortunate the Bengals are to have reached The Big Game.

So with all my expectations undermined, I don't know what the hell is going on.  Father has called me a couple times the past Week if I have any bets he could make for me.  I think he just wants to make a bet for himself and wants me to tell him who to bet on.  I can't do that for this Super Bowl.  If you put a gun to my head, I can choose something -- and have, which I reveal down below (this is a lame tease).

Nevertheless, many fans predict a score anyway.  I will tell you my score prediction right now.  Despite what Football Outsiders says in its SB preview (and I always look at their piece before the Super Bowl because they are excellent at it), I am going to say Cincinnati beats the Rams tonight, 18-17.  Do I base this on logic?  Hell no.  I am basing this prediction on superstition, namely three things.  One is at least tangentially germane to the Game itself; I reveal that below as well, but if you're a Vikings fan, I just gave you a huge hint.

Also remember that the Chinese/Lunar New Year happened on the 1st, and this Year is the Year Of The ... Tiger.  Finally, I really believe that, even though this is being played in the Rams' stadium (they technically are the road team), I believe what happened in the NFC Championship Game, where San Francisco 49ers fans showed up enough to make the crowd 50/50, if not slightly tilted in the Niners' favor, will happen again, and possibly moreso.

Los Angeles is not a sports town.  It just isn't.  And the league's worst fears about losing L. A. as a passionate football town I think is coming true.  It was passionate back in 1998 when the Rams and Raiders left the city.  League officials wondered if they were going to lose them as football cities.  They have.  There was a lot of pain from L. A. football fans once both teams were taken from them, but over the course of 20 Years, they've learned to live without football.  Despite getting one and then two teams (poor Chargers) back into the city, and despite Kroenke trying to buy a winner, I don't think there is a Rams fanbase, just Rams fans.  So I think there are a lot of casual Rams season-ticket holders who have tickets to the Super Bowl and have sold them to a Cincinnati Bengals fanbase that has been similarly demoralized, but are more passionate about a team that was last here in 1988 and hadn't won a postseason Game since 1991.  Who Dey Nation will have shelled out four, possibly even five figures to watch the Super Bowl in person in Los Angeles.  They'll be out in force at SoFi Stadium tonight, and they will make the Rams not feel at home in their home for a second consecutive Game.  So don't discount the home-field disadvantage.

As for my other super-specific predictions, well, they're below.  I would advise you not to make any prop bets based on these:

• I think I heard that the last seven teams to win the coin toss have gone on to lose the Super Bowl.  I say that is broken tonight.  So, in other words, Cincinnati wins the coin toss an goes on to win SBLVI.
• The big matchup within the Game is the Rams' Defensive Line against the below average Bengals' Offensive Line, which allowed Burrow to be sacked nine times when they beat The Bastard Houston Oilers.  I think Burrow will scramble more (duh), and they'll use a lot of jet sweeps to take the heat off of Aaron Donald & Co., but Burrow will still be sacked at least five times, and Donald gets to him at least once.
• The running Game will be close to non-existent, for both teams.  Neither club relies on it, and they haven't for most of their postseason Games.  The Rams total will rush for about 50 Yards.  The Bengals the same, although Joe Mixon might pick up a Touchdown and the Bengals will pick up key First Downs on the ground on at least three Third Downs.
• Seeing as how I don't think there will be a lot of scoring, both Punters will be busy.  I predict at least four Punts for both teams.
• What I think will happen is that both squads' star Wide Receivers will have big performances even with everyone knowing how good they are.  Chase likely will draw Rams star Cornerback Jalen Ramsey for most of the night, and this will be an excellent individual matchup to watch.  However, I think the Bengals' offensive game plan will be able to jar Chase loose from Ramsey from time to time, and that will allow him to feast (especially over the middle).  I expect Chase to rack up at least 125 Yards receiving, and I expect him to house it once.
• On the other side, Cooper Kupp (who legitimately should have been named Most Valuable Player when he probably was only an afterthought for the race) is, like, 170 Yards away from the record of most Yards by a receiver in a single postseason.  Mike Hilton will draw the primary assignment against him, but Bill Barnwell of ESPN has a great breakdown of how Kupp has had a breakthrough, and possibly a one-of-a-kind, season (if you still have time to read it before the SB, you should; Barnwell breaks down everything, and he makes fantastic points even though he thinks the Rams will win this one comfortably).  All eyes will be on him and he still will shine.  He'll get between 150-200 Yards receiving, and he'll score a Touchdown.
• It's possible Burrow's been lucky this Year.  And who knows, after this Year he could turn into just a good Game manager.  But as of right now, he's on another planet, and what he's shown to me makes me think he's got what it takes.  Now, I can't see him reaching 300 Yards passing because he will often be flat on his ass.  But like he has these playoffs, he will be able to erupt and pick apart this supposedly vaunted Rams Defense.  Pencil him in for one or two TDs, and he will be able to get Cincy above .500 when it comes to Third Down Efficiency.
• Now I reveal my third superstition.  You may have heard that after The Big Game, the Minnesota Vikings will announce Rams Offensive Coordinator Kevin O'Connell as their new Head Coach.  (It can't be official because he's still coaching a team that's playing; doing so will raise questions about tampering.  He can still back out as it were, but come Monday, he's the next HC.)  It would be so Vikings if the guy they hire based off of his supposed superiority comes through instead with a putrid performance with his unit that makes Vikings fans wonder why in the hell O'Connell was picked.  Sure, O'Connell isn't the Rams' primary play-caller.  That's Rams Head Coach Sean McVay; O'Connell apparently helps with the weeklong planning and stuff.  Still, The Vikings Curse lives.  The Rams generate less than 300 Yards of total offense, Matthew Stafford will get sacked three times, and they will have at least three Three-And-Outs in the Game.
• And Stafford will become a liability.  I thought that getting out from the oppressive situation in Detroit will finally unlock his potential.  But it seems as though, sadly, that while you can take the Quarterback off of the Lions, you can't take the Lions off of the Quarterback.  His underwhelming play, mostly notably due to his lack of arm strength, has lowered the ceiling on what this Offense can do.  I have been told never to waver from your original pick.  But Stafford is one of many individuals with the Rams who aren't playing as well as they're supposed to, and it's going to cost the team dearly in the form of two Interceptions, one late in the Fourth Quarter.
• Finally, Bengals Kicker Evan McPherson, who has been clutch for Cincinnati all postseason, will make all his Field Goals in Super Bowl LVI, all of which will be from 40 Yards or longer, the last of which will give the Bengals the lead and eventual victory in the last Minute of regulation.  Rams Kicker Matt Guy, on the other hand, will miss a FG in the First Half.
• One post-Super Bowl prediction: Cincinnati Bengals Owner Mike Brown, in the immediate afterglow of lifting The Lombardi Trophy, will, in the next Week, leak plans to ask the city, Hamilton County, and the state of Ohio for more money to improve and repair Paul Brown Stadium.  The citizens of the city and county already are paying debt service to the stadium, and Mike Brown, miser that he is, will take this Super Bowl Win as an opportunity to piss off the fanbase even more.

So, out of the four main ways to bet on a football Game (one team or the other, or picking Over or Under the total number of Points), I am most sure about the Under of 48.5 Points, but I'm not really sure about any of them.

Happy Super Bowl!

The Best Commercials Of Super Bowl LV ... And LIV

I had been stressing myself.  I remember I have not done my annual "Best Commercials Of Super Bowl (Roman numerals here)" blog post before tonight's Super Bowl LVI.

Just in case I did and I didn't remember, I looked through my history on Wailing And Failing.  And then I realized that what I thought was my annual blog post wasn't.  I was close to missing the one for last Year's Super Bowl LV, but I also missed one for Super Bowl LIV the Year before.  And I have missed a few over the Years as well.  So maybe doing such a post hasn't been that important to me, at least not in the past.

I also saw something when I went to review last Year's Super Bowl ads.  I knew in my heart a couple of them were funny, but as I went down the list of rankings according to the Ad Meter of USA Today, I saw only a couple that I thought were funny at the time.  I went back to 2020's Super Bowl LIV and same thing.  So it's possible I had forgotten to do one or two or three of these "Best Of" blog posts because I didn't think there were enough good ones for me to justify a blog post on them.

But now, right now, I still want to do one recap.  Actually, two.  So as long as I have not regularly done such a post, and I have the itch to make up for past mistakes (even though it won't make up for all the Super Bowls after which I did not make a piece about its commercials), I think I'll talk -- not long, but I'll talk -- about the best commercials for the previous two Super Bowls.  And I'll post the advertisements down here.

Super Bowl LIV

Third Place: Bud Light, "Inside Post's Brain"

Before this spot, I really had no idea who Post Malone was.  What I knew was he was some sort of musician -- is he a rapper?  Frankly I still don't know -- and he has a lot of distracting face tattoos.  Call me a sucker, but after seeing this ad where he, well, shows up in muted winterish gear to a small neighborhood grocery, flings his body around while he's being "controlled" by people who either want him to buy Bud Light or hard seltzer, then deliver lines with expert deadpan, I think I would like this guy.

Second Place: Pringles, "Rick And Morty"

I don't quite remember this commercial, you know, like this.  I may have seen a 15-second version of it.  Anyway, similarly to Post Malone, I have never seen a single second of Rick And Morty.  And similarly to the Post Malone spot, after seeing this witty, smart and somewhat paranoid commercial, I kind of want to get into the TV show.  If I ever get cable, of course.

First Place: Hyundai, "Smaht Pahk"

Yeah, so it goofs on accents.  I'll admit that I liked this commercial the most, and I am liking more commercials for Super Bowls these days, based on cameos.  It was somewhat of a masterstroke to get Captain America himself, Chris Evans, The Office's John Krasinski, and Saturday Night Live legend Rachel Dratch to act as if they're old friends in a neighborhood back in their hometown of Boston while utilizing Artificial Intelligence to show off Hyundai's newest feature, remote parking and un-parking.  Someone at the ad agency thought of the phrase "Pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd" and exhausted their budget in getting those three and adopted Bostonian David Ortiz.  And I have to say it worked for me, more than any other commercial for Super Bowl LIV.

Super Bowl LV

Second Place: M&M's, "Come Together"

Of the five commercials I cite here, this probably is the only who's best attribute is the premise and not the famous people in them (although this is the one where Schitt's Creek's Dan Levy takes a funny turn featuring keeping the red M&M hostage in Levy's car).  A series of vignettes featuring people giving M&M's to other people as a peace offering gets funnier with each situation, ending with Levy and the red M&M.  Now I'm not a fan of M&M's -- I should blog post about why I hated M&M's as a child -- so I wouldn't pass out bags of M&M's as a way of apologizing.  But this nonetheless is a clever spot.

First Place: State Farm, "Drake From State Farm"

The famous people make this advertisement -- Patrick Mahomes, Aaron Rodgers (who is a very good actor, just not some guy you should trust with dealing with the coronavirus), that guy who was in Rodger's State Farm commercials during the "Discount Double Check" campaign, and Ant-Man himself (and famous Kansas City Chiefs fan), Paul Rudd.  But it's the last of the three stand-ins (for Rodgers, Mahomes and the ubiquitous Jake From State Farm) who are chilling alongside the stars they're standing in for in this "behind the scenes" spot that caught my eye the most: The stand-in for Jake From State Farm is ... Drake From State Farm.  I'm not saying he should win an Oscar or anything, but I remember him in another Super Bowl commercial, the one goofing off of his "Hotline Bling" video for T-Mobile.  I not only was impressed by his acting chops (even though he came from the acting world; his big break was his role in Degrassi High), but also his willingness to subsume his ego.  By that I mean this: Can you think of any star, let alone any megastar rapper, who would don a costume of a red polo shirt with the insignia of an insurance company and khakis to play someone who is a lot less famous than he is?  Drake has done that.  I have a feeling that Drake wouldn't mind doing that again, whether it be in another commercial or, if the acting bug bites him again, a role in a TV show or movie.  Somehow I think that makes him really, really cool.  And the way he delivers his lines in this ad puts it over the top for Super Bowl LV.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

It looks as though the WMNSS's busy season will start earlier than before.  Great:

#0: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -3).  You want to be peaking at the right time, and I shouldn't say the U. male icers are doing that right now, but they are on a three-Game winning streak after completing a sweep of cellar-dwellers Michigan St. at 3M Saturday, then outlasting Ohio St. in Columbus last/Friday evening.  Their current run of form has the club sixth in the PairWise, and barring an epic collapse, that is an almost-certain lock for the NCAA Tournament.  I cannot put these guys in Positive Numbers because either I need to see them in the progress in the NCAAs or they have to win a regular season title or Big Ten championship.  But they're demonstrating they're a good team.

After finishing up at the Buckeyes this/Saturday night, they'll go to Penn St. to start a two-Game set.

#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  Completed a home sweep of Bemidji St. Saturday afternoon, then started a home-and-home with St. Cloud St. by beating the Huskies yesterday/Friday afternoon, 5-3 at the Cloud.  (The Huskies actually led after one period, 2-0, then ripped off five in a row.)  As I have said, their schedule is now cake, so it now is all a matter of staying healthy and not slipping.  They can easily fall from the top spot in the PairWise, the perch they enjoy now; that's why I'm not putting these women above negative numbers.  They play the Huskies again at Ridder, then begin the final series of their regular season by beginning a home-and-home with new top-flight program St. Thomas; they'll play the Tommies at Inver Grove Heights first.

(Aside: I have noticed that the Gopher women's hockey team plays a lot of Games in the mid-to-late afternoon.  I have also noticed, as I am scouring the daily schedule for men's and women's basketball Games I could hear on SiriusXM that on some days, there are a few women's b-ball contests that are played on weekday afternoons.  I may have seen, like, one men's b-ball tilt that was played on, like, a Friday afternoon, and I suspect that was played at that time because it was a make-up Game that was delayed due to COVID protocols.  I believe that prime time/evening slots are the ideal time to watch a Game, of any sport, either in-person or on the TV.  Therefore, I think this noticeable practice of having women's basketball Games when it's highly unlikely the public would have the time and wherewithal to come and watch it is sexist.  Let's be real here.)

#-2: Whitecaps (Re-Entry!).  Out of sight, out of mind.  I last tracked the Whitecaps on Christmas Eve.  The Premier Hockey Federation still has erratic schedules where teams have Weeks-long chunks of time off.  I didn't even think of looking at the 'Caps until I think I heard a quick blurb about them on National Public Radio.  Then I looked up their schedule and saw they played a two-Game set against the Buffalo Beauts three Weeks ago.  Whoops.

But hey, at least they swept Buffalo by a combined 9-2 score.  Those two teams then met back at TRIA Rink last Week and split their two Games.  They're playing better than they were at the start of the season, but they still are mired in fourth place.

They're in Toronto this weekend for two versus The Toronto Six.

#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: 0).  I wonder the sailing is going to be as smooth as I thought it would be this time last Week.  It started out well.  I was at Minnesota's Game at Target vs. the Detroit Pistons Sunday afternoon, and they had trouble breaking away.  But I was really impressed by the bench crew, in particular Malik Beasley, who was able to rain three after three, and Jaden McDaniels, who had a sequence in the Second Half where, if I recall correctly, he hit a three, made a massive Block on a Piston who got the ball off a great pass underneath the basket, then hit another three in the ensuing Turnover.  Maybe the Timberwolves should have beaten Detroit by more than 13, but this is a type of Game that shows the depth a playoff team needs.

That completed a home-and-home sweep of the Pistons.  They then went to Sacramento and destroyed the Kings by 20.  But then Sacramento made a sizable trade with Indiana where they got Domantas Sabonis, and he made an instant impact, scoring 22 Points and and 14 Rebounds in 33 Minutes of play as the Kings beat the Wolves in the rematch, 132-119.  (I see that last Week I said these two clubs were playing a home-and-home.  I was wrong; they played both Matches in Sacto.  I regret the error.)  Then last/Friday night they lost by a dozen in Chicago.

I was a fan of standing pat at the Trade Deadline.  The Wolves, believe it or not, are up against the salary cap.  But it turns out this roster has some organic, genuine talent, and they appear to be settling into their roles really well.  If that's the case, why would you want to trade Beasley, or Naz Reid, or even D'Angelo Russell?  Well, because they saw in The Bastard Rochester-By-Way-Of-Cincinnati Royals/Kansas City-Omaha Kings the positive effects of a shake-up.  They had a hole in the middle of their starting lineup, and while we need to see how they deal with the pieces they deal to Indiana, for one night at least it looked like a very smart move.  I hope the Timberwolves continue to gel and improve, but I am now afraid that not making a move will prove to be not the smart move.

At said Pacers tomorrow/Sunday afternoon, then back-to-back home Games versus Charlotte and Toronto to finish the First Half of the regular season.  I am going to the Hornets Game because the Timberwolves offered an upper-level ticket for six bucks!

#-4: Gopher softball (Re-Entry!).  Yeah, and suddenly, softball is back.  They began their season, as usual, on the road -- this time in Orlando for the CFX Classic.  They started play yesterday/Friday afternoon with a 3-2 Loss to twelfth-ranked Georgia, but bounced back with a 3-1 Win over the host Golden Knights.  Not for nothing, but I saw one B1G preseason poll that has the U. finishing third behind Michigan (which appears to be an overwhelming favorite in the league) and Northwestern, but I don't think they're ranked in any poll right now.

Today/Saturday they play the Bulldogs again, then throw down with Longwood.  They finish their tournament Sunday morning vs. Fresno St.  The Gophers then travel to Phoenix for another tournament, the Littlewood Classic.  They'll have six Games there, there of which fall under the screening Week: Grand Canyon and host Arizona St. Thursday, then Texas-El Paso Friday afternoon.

#-5: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -5).  Home victories over Michigan St. and Northwestern buttress a road defeat to Iowa.  This squad has alternated Wins and Losses over its last six tilts.  But the more surprising news may be coming from Mark Rosen, who is retired from sports television but still puts in work on The Common Man Progrum.  He has heard from his sources that, possibly for the first time, there are, well, grumblings over the direction of the program under Head Coach Lindsay Whalen.  The Goofs are 4-9 in-conference, 12-14 overall, and have yet to make an appearance in, I think, any tournament (NCAA or worse) since she took the helm.  Now I don't want to diss her, but Jesus fucking Christ, what did you expect hiring someone who had no, absolutely zero, coaching experience?  I thought this was a bad idea from the beginning, and having at best mediocre results this far into her tenure shouldn't surprise anyone.  I still stick to my feeling that the athletic department wanted to set and forget that program for a while, and they hired Whalen because she's One Of Us; no one would want to oust a favorite daughter, and she likely feels she can't leave because she owes the U. for her big break.  But both things can go bye-bye if she doesn't show results soon.

Hosting Rutgers Thursday.

#-6: Wild (Last Week: -1).  See-see-see?  This is the problem with not having Games in hand when you're hot.  They now have to play them in a new and congested part of the regular season schedule, and they start off Tuesday losing for the first time in regulation in their last ten Games ... and getting shut out, too, 2-0, The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers.  Remember that they were once atop the Central Division.  They are now third -- for now -- and eleven Points behind The Bastard Quebec Nordiques.  Sure, they have three more contests to play than them -- actually, only the New York Islanders have played fewer Games up to this point -- but as I have said before, there is a chance that this club goes through a run of bad form and bleed Points they need to actually stay in the playoff race.  I am afraid that's happening now, and therefore my teeth are chattering, and that's why I have thrown these guys down here: For fear of what might happen next.

They host a good team, The Bastard Hartford Whalers, tonight/Saturday night.  Detroit comes here Monday, and they play in Winnipeg again on Wednesday, and then they host another good squad, the Florida Panthers, on Friday.  You see the hopscotch, cobbled-together schedule they need to make up, playing every other Day like this?  It is so easy to slip into a losing streak.  I fear for this team.

#-7: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -2).  A very disappointing 18-14 road Loss to unranked Purdue Sunday afternoon.  Gable Steveson did his thing, putting a Technical Fall on his opponent/poor bastard, unranked Michael Woulfe, 18-2.  But the Boilermakers won six out of the other nine Matches to win.  Of those six defeats, the Gopher was the higher-ranked rassler in four of those matchups, the most egregious of which was 26th-ranked Cael Carson losing 3-2 to unranked Hayden Lohrey at 165.

It gets worse.  Last/Friday night, for Senior Day in front of their home crowd, the 14th-ranked Goofers lost to eighth-ranked Ohio St. -- a program that was once beneath the U. -- 24-14.  Like with Purdue, the Buckeyes won six of the ten Matches; they ran off five Wins in a row to put the Dual away.  And like on Sunday, Gable Steveson technically fell his overmatched foe, Tate Orndorff, 19-4.  As he was slated to go last, in his last Match at Maturi Pavilion, he (I presume) was showered with a standing ovation.

The U., which finished 4-6 overall and 3-5 in league play -- when was the last time the U. finished below .500? -- now get ready for the B1G Tournament in Lincoln in early March.

#-8: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -6).  Lost at Iowa Sunday by a dozen even though the Hawkeyes were without their Head Coach.  Worse yet, they then lost Wednesday at Nebraska by worse, a baker's dozen -- and that was the Cornhuskers' first Win in Big Ten play.  Yeah-yeah, first Year, mulligan.  But these young men have now lost five in a row.  Hope there's a lot of culture-building going on.  This week: Home to Penn St. Saturday, at Ohio St. Tuesday, then at Penn St. Thursday afternoon.  It's being played in the afternoon presumably because it's a make-up date; this matchup was originally scheduled for January 19 but was postponed because of COVID-19.

The Lonely Exercise Machine

As with many things, my parents exposed me to a lot of things and encouraged me to try them, but I was too lazy/stubborn/fearful to do them, and so I ignored all the things they gave me, both educational and entertaining.  And so they would just take up space and collect dust in various corners of the house.  Some things still do, such as the pool table.  Some have been hauled away to the dump, like the foosball table.  (It was a beautiful foosball table.)

And then there are the exercise machines.  It started, I think, with an exercise bike.  I can see it now in, of all places, the dining room, where Mother hangs her wet clothes on the handlebars to dry.  There was also this somewhat rickety cross-country skiing simulation; you get on the sliding footpads, grab the retractable handlebars that stretch all the way to the floor, and just act like you're skiing on this small, flat thing.  Your movement generates power so you can see your progress on the screen.  Yeah, I think all three of us played on those machines for a little bit, then abandoned them.  Father threw away the CC sim, by the way.  The treadmill, too ... oh yeah, we had a treadmill; now I remember.  I may have gone on it once.  It may have been broken, but it too has been thrown away.

Then there is this huge machine that, many years ago, Mother wanted and/or Father bought and brought down to the basement.  I think it's what they call a stepladder machine, or a step machine -- it has two separated footpads, you step on each, you alternate moving them, like you're climbing stairs, and that's how you exercise.

Unlike the other machines, I may have tried it, oh, twice or thrice, and all those times probably for about a minute.  It is a humongous contraption, and I don't think I ever understood it.  I don't think I've ever seen Mother on it, either, but I think that the only exercise machine she has ever used was the treadmill.  (Father doesn't exercise.  He buys things for other people to use.)

And yet an epiphany hit me about last weekend.  I have been mentally inveighing about needing to schlep out to the community room to exercise.  Maybe it's the winter or my guilt over not getting through My Stuff as much as I would have liked by now, but while I sometimes have to rouse myself into changing and getting into my car to go exercise before, now it feels even more like a herculean challenge.

I was thinking about the next time I would have the time to work out, and I was dreading needing to dress up and go out in the cold to drive in the cold to the gym.  And then I remembered the stepping machine.  Why don't I just work out on that?  It's here, and I don't have to brave the frigid weather.  I just have to change, go into the basement corner, figure out how it works, and, well, work out.  Besides, I'd be working out by myself and removing a layer of risk by exercising by myself.  The past several times at the community center another person was working out too, and I wasn't that comfortable sharing that space with that person and his/her possible COVID breath.  Still.

Well, Monday was that time.  I thought I just immediately go home, take a nap, then go downstairs and work out.  Instead a bunch of other crap happened to which I might blog post about some other time, and then I needed to work out even more because 1) I had so much stress to let loose and 2) by the time I was done with said crap, it would have been too late for me to get to the gym.  So even though it was later than I wanted to, it was high time for me to get on this lonely, old machine and give it some purpose.

Like some machines such as the ellipticals and treadmills at the community center, this step machine has programs.  I think I put myself on the first and easiest one.  It was only 20 minutes in length, and even though the screen (which is self-powered, like the late and lamented cross-country ski machine) said there would be resistance in changes, it was a relative breeze to get through.  (It helps to have a spot next to the machine on which you could rest your laptop so you can stream a college basketball Game.)  Not to say I didn't get a workout; if you are "walking up stairs" for 20 minutes straight, you'll get a bit bow-legged.  But feel the burn and all.  Oh, and the machine has a fan that you can turn on and power while you exercise.

And now that I've taken it out for a spin, so to speak ... you know, it's not a bad machine at all.  I don't know why I can't work out on it a little more.  Sure, I love my elliptical, it's good to jog and run on a treadmill, and we don't have kettlebells at home.  But if I want to exercise but don't want to drive in order to do it, I should blow the dust off this stepladder machine and use that.  It's been waiting to be used for years now.  And it deserves to be used.  Shoot, I'm going to use it!

'Round Midnight

I don't know if I've touched upon this yet, but lately -- it may have been weeks, may have been months, it might have started when my parents left for Las Vegas -- but around midnight I sometimes begin to feel my body collapse in fatigue.  More often than not, I try and fight through it because I'm usually on the Internet, and sometimes I'm trying to blog.

But a few times, like last night, I just listen to my body, drop whatever I'm doing, and go to sleep.  And I don't know why I don't do that more often, because then I get the sleep I need and have often wanted.  I'm blogging now, after I have woken up all refreshed.  I should do this more often.  I should go to bed more often ... 'Round Midnight:

Back To The Suck

Was filling in at The Fourth Department yesterday, just for that one day.  My previous stint was two about two months ago.  Any bad moments have been filtered out; it was largely a pain-free experience, and I remember it now being much easier than it had been on previous occasions.  So, my thinking went, if I could just drop in for this one day and still feel as if I know everything that needs to be done, and if I can get through the day doing everything I need to do without staying late, that's when I know I've learned all I can learn at this position.

Ooh, no, that was so not the case.  I felt I was making good time when I got to the new stuff right around halfway, which is my marker as to how much the old stuff has held me back.  But I heard that my Main Department was swamped with work -- probably a ripple effect of the snowstorm down south that delayed a day's worth of shipments up here -- and more work for them eventually means more work for me.  Add to that several forms which I had no idea how to deal with.  My supervisor told me that needed to be handled differently -- I need to call these people for these, I need to e-mail these people for these, etc.

What resulted was a first, and an all-time worst: I left, I swear, at least a dozen new forms after leaving for the night.  I didn't count, but it's possible I left two dozen.  There was so much new work coming in well into the afternoon that, knowing my main main priority was getting forms tested for the overnight staff after all the information for them was correct and complete, I would not have time for the new stuff or the really complicated stuff.  Even then, with all the forms I was able to start the process of getting tested by our lab, I got out work 75 minutes later than I should have.  I had an important call at 6, but I had to reschedule it because there was just too much work I had to do before I left.

Before he left, my boss checked up on me.  I told him about the work I was about to leave for the guy who usually does this job.  He told me I should start my day back there and finish up.  Finishing up won't happen, especially with these special cases that I think I need to work on.  Man, I hope the guy I filled in for forgives me for the all the crap I'm about to leave him this morning.  He'll be surprised as hell when he comes in and sees me at his chair.

So, after going back to work at this department, I feel worse, not better.  I once again cannot understand how you can do everything you're supposed to do in eight hours.  I don't know how the guy I substituted for does it.  Maybe I'm not cut out for this job, because I can't keep staying after 75 minutes every damn day and feel like I accomplished anything, especially if I'm leaving late and still leaving work.  This is impossible.  This is horrible.

I Am Beset On All Sides, Man, I Am Beset On All Sides

People telling me I'm too late ... people saying that I didn't send it in when I did ... fucking machines breaking down ... have you ever had a day where nothing goes right, and it seems everyone you meet is out to get you?  That was yesterday for me.  Motherfuckers keep coming after me no matter what I do or don't do.

I have to hope that if and when I wake up, the new day will be better for me.  Can't get any worse.

You know, once I got out of high school I swore to myself that I would stand up to bullies.  I was tormented by them all throughout junior high and high school, and I didn't think I had the means or the support to fight back.  But I became an adult, and I didn't have to schlep to the same place over and over, and so I was able to avoid the assholes who hated me.

Unfortunately, though, this is life, and assholes still bedevil me.  I've thought about what I would do if I were bullied as an adult.  Do I stand up for myself?  Could I stand up for myself?

My Old Man Is Cheap; Did I Know This Already?

So when I use the shower in my bedroom, the upstairs bedroom, and when I pull up the plunger thingy to shunt the water from the faucet into the showerhead, it ... well, it's hard to explain, but it half-asses it, as in water comes out from half the holes in the head, but the rest of it still comes out through the faucet.  Once in a while I try to depress the plunger and pull it up again, thinking it was the plunger's fault (this has been going on for years), but that still happens.  At least it's no longer making this horrible sound after which all the water does shoot up through the pipe into the showerhead; I remember once that I just ignored it, and Father banged on the bathroom door to tell me to stop showering because my parents could hear the sound from downstairs in the master bedroom.

I remember that the upstairs bathroom was being remodeled some time ago.  The entire front wall of the shower/tub was torn off and/or being replaced.  I also remember, if I recall correctly, that there was talk about replacing the pipes.  But I don't think the pipes were replaced.  Instead, the walls of the bathroom were just redone.  It looks nice (well, I'm not Joanna Gaines), but apparently the surface is hiding the rot in its guts.

---

Shortly after my parents left for Las Vegas, I wanted to clean some dishes I made dirty.  As you do if you don't have a dishwasher, you run the faucet in order to fill a bowl with water.  I did that, then I went downstairs because, I guess, I wanted to check on something in the laundry room.  When I got to the basement, though, I saw, and heard, water dripping down from the ceiling.  It wasn't bad, but it freaked me out enough that I do not wash dishes in the kitchen anymore.  Instead, I carry all my dirty dishes downstairs to the laundry/mud room and wash them there.  I have turned on the faucet for very quick rinses of cups I don't care to wash deeply.  But if I run it for any longer, I am scared as hell that that leak I saw running down into the basement will get worse.  Much worse.

I remember that the kitchen was being remodeled some time ago.  All the counters and cabinetry were being replaced.  Took out the sink, too, so I saw the pipes and stuff.  It wasn't as bad back then, but even then, after you shut off the sink, you could hear a drip-drip of water underneath the faucet, like an internal pipe is leaking.  That seemed like a good idea to look into that issue and even replace the pipes that appear to be leaking.  But I don't think the pipes were replaced.  Instead, just the cabinets and counters of the kitchen were redone.  It looks nice, but apparently the surface is hiding the rot in its guts.

---

See a pattern here?  I don't know what My Father is thinking.  I want to give him the benefit of the doubt; maybe replacing the pipes in a house is a massive undertaking, and the price just doesn't make it worth it.  That being said, the pipes are not good now, and these problems tend to get worse.  How long can we tolerate it until it has to be dealt with?

My mind, however, unfortunately thinks that My Father has heard the internal dripping in the upstairs shower and the kitchen and didn't care.  It mattered more to him that the house looks nice than knowing that the functioning of the house is in ideal working condition -- leaks, loud noises, and potential for mold be damned.  That would make my old man look superficial as well as cheap, come to think of it ... and sorry, but I can't disagree.  He has had years and at least a couple signs that this pretty important problem needs to be fixed, and he didn't want to fix it.

---

I haven't told him yet about the leak coming from the kitchen.  I will at some point, before they come home.  But I don't know if that will spur him into finally looking into the problem.  Maybe I need to Facetime him and show him how bad the leak is in the basement if I just run the water for a few minutes.  Or, maybe he does know and he really, really doesn't care.

Upgrading Our Internet

It was high time we switched out our very old router and replaced it with a mesh.  Not only was the router (which, to be fair, was Father's purchase) way obsolete, its placement meant there was a dead spot right around the dining room.  Mother always wants to watch her YouTube cooking and knitting videos, but she has to do it from the kitchen because that is the outer limit of reach from the old router.  And I am tired of putting up with a dead spot.

So I bought this three-device mesh through Amazon.  I got it a few days ago and I spent, oh, an hour setting it up a bit past midnight tonight/Sunday.  At first none of these "devices" synced up or even recognized each other, but somehow, they finally did.  In the meantime, I had a dickens of a time getting my devices (my cell and my lap) to recognize this brand-new network.  I don't exactly know how I got it to see eye to eye, but there is some information I wish I would have known before plundering into this project.  I got it done, but it could've gone a whole lot smoother.

I'm just hoping the dining room can pick up our wi-fi now.