So, just like I feared, instead of getting a reputable master plumber, Father went to some guy who's done repair work on the cheap for him many times long ago to buy and install the water heater.  To be fair, it now seems to work.  This guy also changed one valve from gate to ball, which is a good thing.  Unfortunately, however, another leak appears to have sprung from a different pipe, and this guy has to come back this morning to take care of that leak, as well as haul away the old water heater, which is still emptying itself of water.  So it's not really done.  I just hope this guy knows what he's doing.

First Night With Parents Back

They got in 90 minutes late.  Fuckin' Spirit.

Anyway, the greatest thing from them so far is that they seem to be in perfect health.  The next-greatest thing is no fighting (fingers crossed).  In fact, it was I who got testy with both of them, when Mother asked for a way to cancel her iCloud subscription and when Father wondered how in the hell we don't have hot water.  (Oh, about that; Father turned off the heater for some reason.  It was freaky to try and turn all the faucets on hot water and see the water just stop.  We lit the pilot light.  First time I ever did that.  Have heard horror stories about that.  I really thought we'd blow up the house because you need expertise to re-light the pilot.)

Downsides?  Well, because they came on a day when the high temperature dipped below freezing for the first time in many days, they've jacked up the central heat from 61 at night to 70, my God.  And, I once again ate too much; about 105 minutes after I stopped by Matt's Bar for the first time in a long time, I was eating Costco chicken, cucumbers and a salad with my parents.  I just have to remember that I probably eat was much without their prompting, I just don't feel as much in control when I eat too much because of them.

I'm expecting the water heater to be replaced today.  Both Father and I have woken up in the middle of the night to dump the water.  We cannot live like this, no can do.

So they come home (or they should; they're coming in on Spirit, so there's no guarantee the plane will make it) this afternoon, and even though I feel as though I won't need to do anything in preparation for them coming home, I still have the day off to tie up loose ends.

The thing I plan on doing is getting both cars washed.  I also have four bags of stuff I either need to sift through very quickly (I have speed-read and have tossed more issues in the past four hours than I did in the past seven months) or take back to storage.  There are other things I want to take back there, too, so I might need to build in time to make a run.  Or, I can say screw it, hide them in my closet, forget about cleaning the cars, and sleep in.  That works, too.

By the way, as much as I hate them coming back, I kind of am looking forward to having them home, too.  A lot of it is because I want them to take care of the water heater.  But they're getting up in age, and even though I saw them around Christmastime, I still don't know how many years I have left with them.  Dammit, even through the bad times I kind of miss them.  That's the hold parents have on you, always.

The Weird People Come Out At Night

I was torn as to what to do last/Monday night, but I decided I need to show my parents I used some of the rice they left for me, so I cooked it along with a can of soup because eating rice by itself is boring.  But then I decided I needed to move out all the stuff I brought home back to storage because, at least in my mind, tonight/Tuesday night will just be me chilling -- well, after doing the dishes and some last-minute cleaning, and any last-ditch things that need to be done or sent to my unit.

All that packing, much of which I had to bring back because I simply don't have any room (more on that later), pushed another thing I wanted to do, exercise and shower at the community center, till just before closing.  I did a kettlebell for seven minutes, then I was done.  Hit the shower, which was real cold until the heat kicked in just after I soaped up.

I then tried to find a gas station with the cheapest price in the area.  Drove to a few places before finding that a Speedway close to me will charge me gas, with my discount, for 13 cents less per gallon than the most expensive spot in the area.  Pays to drive around.

Wanted to get a Coke too, just in case I had to obey my sweet tooth.  So after I filled up, I went inside.  While I was walking around the place, I hear this rhythmic "phhhhhew."  Some guy was making this sound, a big, fat, tall White dude.  After he seemingly followed me to the Coke case, I deduced that this is probably his way of exhaling.  Which is still gross and fucking disgusting and I don't think he has to breathe that way.  And then this motherfucker lines up behind me at the checkout counter, and he's still doing that goddamn, "phhhhhhhhhew, phhhhhhhhhhhhhhew!" business.  What the fuck?  He's spewing out so many of his dirty germs that I probably got COVID.

Man, all I wanted was a Coke.  Seems like I have to get it earlier in the evening to avoid weirdos like this fucker.

Got nervous; didn't want to run the water, but I saw somewhere that you should run water through a still-on heater about once every 24 hours, so I did.  This time around, even though I ran for ten minutes at most, the worst leak was the one from the main, right before the gauge.  Can we fix that, or is that the city's responsibility?

I still think the water's getting worse, but I think I can manage if I turn it on for a little bit, just to keep the tank full-ish so the heater doesn't explode and so I can at least brush my teeth and flush my pee.  I am worried about the leak(s) getting worse if I run the water, but I'm also worried about damaging the heater and potentially blowing up the house if I don't run the water.  Fuckin' bind I'm in.  Anyway, I had to soak up the water that was dripping, mostly from the main.  I can deal with this for two-ish more days.  I think.

I'm hearing sounds from everywhere right now.  I opened sinks upstairs and downstairs, like I think you're told to, just to keep the air out of the system.  But now I'm scared those sounds are leaks themselves.  Oh, also, when I was downstairs, I swear I felt drops from the ceiling.  How many leaks in the copper pipes are there?

You should see me talking to my parents now that I really need them.  Bitching about going back to school, humiliating me into not driving the family in the rented SUV, all of that falls by the wayside because I need their help in figuring out how to deal with these leaks.  I understand that life forces you to forget about your arguments.  I still feel as though I'm letting them off too easy.

Finally, the plumber who installed the actual water heater in fact did call me yesterday/Sunday.  Didn't hear the phone.  Will call today at work.  Home Depot called back with an estimate.  Texted it to Father; he thought it was so expensive, and that he thinks he'll just install it himself.  No, just no.  I'll check to see if the estimate from this guy -- leaks included, they need to be fixed -- is any cheaper.

I Just Wanted The Water To Stop

I had no idea how to stop the water, which, to be honest, is coming from only three leaks and not the half-dozen I exaggerated when I was exasperated.  There's the first leak, the pinhole one in the pipe, then there's the water heater, and finally there's the one coming out of the main.  (It's an old "gate" valve, the one with the hexagonal knob I know growing up with.  The handle with the quarter turn to open and close water is called a "ball" valve, and I guess it's standard, if not revolutionary, and I apparently was not aware that people hate "gate" valves with a passion these days.)  So I freaked out Thursday over the pinhole leak, and then the water heater started to piss itself, and then, while I didn't really notice, the leak in the main was going all over the place.

I was eventually dealing with all three leaks, hauling my towels of chamois out of storage in order to sop up the increasingly large puddles of water that was going all over the place.  I guess it's not bad in the objective sense; the basement's not flooded or anything.  But it appears to be getting worse, and I sure as hell don't like it.

The leaks, and I, were at our worst yesterday/Saturday.  For the life of me, I could not figure out how to stop them, at least in any "permanent" sense.  The pinhole, for example, kept squirting out water even after I shut off the main valve.  And I didn't want to go downstairs and wring the towels of water every four hours, which I was doing.  So, even though I remembered at the time it not working, I bought pipe repair tape.  And again, I don't remember how well it worked then, or how I felt it worked then, but at least the water was squirting up the wall.  Instead, it was leaching through the tape (which it's not supposed to do).  I can control that, however; that just means beads of water drop down, not everywhere, and there just happens to be an open pipe with a whole right underneath it.  And I got a funnel, stuck it in that hole, and had the beads of water fall into that.  But I kept the water off anyway.

Unfortunately, while I was at Home Depot picking up the tape (and, to be honest, after another run to two other hardware stores for a clamp), the water heater leak got significantly worse.  I actually had half a mind to drive over to the United FC Match, or what was left of it.  But when I saw a sizable trickle of water travel across the basement floor, I freaked out.  That's when I texted Father of the more dire situation.  There were times over the past few days where there wasn't a leak from beneath the heater after I turned off the main valve.  I did before I made my hardware store run(s), and now the goddamn thing is leaking again?  I was at my wit's end, and frankly, I took it out of Father when he called me.

And that's when I realized I could do one more thing: Turn off the water going into the water heater tank.  I think I turned it off; it's also a "gate" valve, and for some damn reason, it's red when all cold water inlet valves going into the tank should be blue.  But it's the only valve I see.  So I turned it all the way off and ... it feels as though there was no more water.  So I went to Home Depot a second time because Father asked me to get an estimate on the installation on a new water heater.  There was a guy there who talked my ear off, but hey, I was frazzled, so I didn't really mind listening to him.  It was about a half-hour, probably more, when I got back.  I trundled down to the basement and ... everything was dry.  So turning off everything appeared to work.  I checked throughout the night; totally dry.

I'm still not sure what exactly happened, both as to how the leaks got worse and how I stopped them.  Apparently you don't really "fix" a water heater; like the Home Depot guy said, if it's shittin' water (my words, not his) from the bottom, it's not fixable.  And yet I turn off the water going into the tank, and it's dry like a desert.  Is it completely empty?  Hope not.  I still have the heater on, albeit on "vacation" mode, and if it's empty, that means it's possible it could explode.  That's why I think I should turn on the water at least once daily until it gets replaced; I need to use water here just so I can flush the toilet and wash my hands, and that way I possibly can fill my tank with enough water so the heating, uh, thingy inside it won't damage the tank more than it already is.

At any rate, I just wanted the water to stop.  I needed to get this watery invasion of what I think to be my castle.  And I don't want to keep minding that fucking thing every two hours to mop up the mess.  Sure, I don't have running water now.  But things are stable here.  I think I can leave the house for work with all the water turned off and be safe I'll have a house to come back to.  I can also stay in this house, and in my bed, and feel safe.  Because not feeling safe at home is very, very sad.

I now have to make it until my folks come home.  In the meantime, I need to cast about for a plumber who can replace the water heater and, harkening back to the first problem, fix the pinhole leak.  It's not going to be great living like this for 72 hours.  But I think I can manage.  I just wanted the water to stop, and stay stopped.  That's all.

---

And I just checked downstairs again.  No water.  I don't have to mind it.  For now.  Phew.  I think.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -2).  OK, so the Gophers are on their way to a second straight Frozen Four after winning the Regional up in UND country (that's Fargo, in case you don't know).

As the #1 overall Seed they traditionally draw the #16 Seed, which is traditionally the winner of the tournament in Atlantic Hockey, Canisius.  But boy, they played like shit for most of the first two Periods.  The Golden Griffins took the lead in the Second, at which point I had to turn the radio off because I couldn't stand it.  But unbeknownst to me, they tied and then went ahead late in the Second Period, then poured in a half-dozen more Goals to finally overpower Canisius, 9-2.  (There has been a lot of inveighing over how uncompetitive the Eighthfinals of the NCAA Men's Hockey Tournament has been.  The closes margin of Victory was two; Colgate upset Denver, 2-0.  The Winners beat the Losers by a combined score of 52-5!  Someone tweeted that while people are debating whether college basketball should go to 90 teams, men's college hockey should drop down to eight.  He may be joking, but he has a point.)

St. Cloud St. was supposed to pose a stiffer test.  But the squad did not let down.  Instead it buckled down and answered a Game-tying Goal by the Huskies' Adam Ingram three Minutes later with the eventual Game-winning Goal by Logan Cooley.  Jackson LaCombe scored the insurance tally in the Third Period, and Jaxon Nelson scored on an Empty Net to complete the 4-1 Win.  (The first Gophers Goal was scored by Bryce Brodzinski, who was named after the Match the Regional's Most Oustanding Player.)

They have more than a Week to prepare, and they'll do so in Tampa.  However, their Semifinal opponent ain't no slouch, either.  Boston University has won nine in a row, so they might be riding a wave of momentum into their clash Thursday the 6th.  As I've said before, this Golden Gopher men's hockey team is the best chance a Twin Cities sports squad has had of hoisting a title trophy of some repute (sorry, Whitecaps, and BTW, they play tonight/Sunday night for the Isobel Cup at 8 p.m. on, I think, ESPN2), and it might be a long time before any other club gets close.  So no pressure.

#0: Wild (Last Week: -4).  They're not vying for a championship in two Weeks.  But their spot in the Stanley Cup Playoffs is all but assured not too long after falling out of the postseason picture entirely on the strength of a 3-1 Week, the only Loss (to, of all squads, Philadelphia) coming in a Shootout.  They have leapfrogged The Bastard North Stars for first place in the Central Division.  The last time the Wild have been in first all on their lonesome was around Christmastime 2021.  And they haven't been all alone in first place this far into a season since ... well, I heard the statistic once but I can't find it, so I guess it's been a while.

What's most impressive is that their recent splendid run of form has come without Kirill Kaprizov.  Matt Boldy in particular has become a scoring powerhouse.  I don't want to say that they play better without him, but frankly, the stats don't lie.

Host Seattle Monday, a tricky game in Denver against The Bastard Quebec Nordiques Wednesday, then at Las Vegas to begin a home-and-home with the Golden Knights.

#-1: Timberwolves (Last Week: -5).  Hey, KAT's back!  And he scored the Game-tying and -winning Free Throws to help the T-Wolves outlast Atlanta at Target, 125-124.  They went perfect this Week, also out-pointing New York in Madison Square Garden on Monday, 140-134.  You always want Towns back in your starting lineup, of course.  But this team's recent splendid(-ish) run of form should be attributed to performances by many of the so-called role players, so-called because their enormous contributions depending on the contest makes you think they could actually be a superstar.  Jaden McDaniels, Naz Reid, Jaylen Nowell, Kyle Anderson, Taurean Prince, new acquisition Mike Conley, Jr. -- they have all stepped up when their teammates and team needed them to.

Now, that has translated only to a .500 record and a three-way tie for seventh in the West.  But it could be worse.  Moreover, they're only 1 1/2 Games behind Golden State for sixth and the final rung out of the Play-In, and they play in San Francisco against the Warriors tonight/Sunday night.  They then travel to two teams well above them in the conference, Sacramento tomorrow/Monday and Phoenix Wednesday, before hosting a desperate Bastard Minneapolis Lakers ballclub Friday.

#-2: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -6).  Began the screening Week losing to Houston at U. S. Bank Stadium, completing the sweep.  They then went to Normal to play two mid-Week, but after triumphing over the Cardinals on Tuesday, 10-3, their Game Wednesday was cancelled due to rain.  They then went to Omaha for a weekend two-Game series vs. Creighton, but I know this series was supposed to be at Siebert Field but was switched due to bad conditions on the field and impending rain, plus I swear this was supposed to be a three-Game series, not two.  Anyway, they lost Friday, 5-2, but shut out the Bluejays yesterday/Saturday afternoon, 3-0.

So after a rain-ravaged Week, they'll begin Big Ten play with three at Columbus starting Friday ... weather permitting.

#-3: United FC (Last Week: 0).  I missed last/Saturday night's Game at Allianz against the Vancouver Whitecaps because there was just too much water leaking everywhere.  (Swear to God this will be the subject of my next blog post.)  But now that I hear how it went down, I'm kind of glad I wasted the money as a season ticketholder and not show up.  They didn't play bad; Mender Garcia scored again (nice find, Manny Lagos!) to put the Loons up, 1-0.  But at the death of the Second Half, Simon Becher put in a rebound to tie up the Match in the 98th Minute.  Trouble is, Referee Rosendo Mendoza said he would only add six Minutes to the end of the Match.  Don't know how he explained that in the post-Match conference he gives to the press, but he should.

Anyway, I would be so pissed that I had "Wonderwall" yanked from my lips because of a Goal that shouldn't have happened that I would be banging my head against the steering wheel for not staying to mind the water heater instead.  As anxiety-inducing as that is, foregoing that to see certain Victory yanked from my team would piss me off to no end.  And don't get me wrong, I kind of blame MNUFC for not locking this Win down.  This is the second home Game of the season, and it's the second time they've blown a lead at home to just settle for a Draw.

Sure, they're undefeated.  But their two Wins and two Draws only gets them fourth place in the Western Conference.  Saturday they travel to St. Louis to face undefeated expansion side City.  A part of me admires that they're five-for-five in Wins right now, but that may be because I have a soft sport for the city of St. Louis.  On the other hand, it's unnatural and, in my opinion, not right for an expansion team to be this good in their inaugural Year.  They're the Las Vegas Golden Knights of MLS.  Just great.

#-4: Gopher softball (Last Week: -1).  Like with the male diamond sport, the possibility of rain has also altered the U. softballers' schedule.  Their only Games this Week were the conference-opening ones at Northwestern.  But after losing 8-7 in nine Innings Friday afternoon, yesterday/Saturday's contest was pushed to today/Sunday as part of a Doubleheader after inclement weather was forecast for yesteray/Saturday.  And so that's why a pretty good club brings up the caboose in this Week's survey; they only played one Game, and it was a Loss.

After finishing in Evanston, they come home to Cowles Stadium to play a trio versus Penn St. -- weather permitting.

2023 March Madness Anti-Picks, Round 4

Record, Round 3: 1-4

Overall Record: 14-18

Outlay, Round 3: $550.00

Winnings, Round 3: $95.45

Loss, Round 3: $454.55

Overall Loss: $690.07

Woof.  Fuckin' woof.  Two days ago I extolled the virtues and joys of betting on Rounds 2 and 4 of the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament because you can exploit the fog of oddsmaking and touting with the two-day turnaround time.  I wasn't implicitly saying the inverse was 100% true, that Rounds 1 and 3 are so difficult you may be better off not betting on those rounds.  Well, maybe it would be better if I took those Rounds off because I flat-out sucked the big one on the ones I chose last Round.  My fucking God, my instincts betrayed me.  I am glad I sussed out what was going to happen between Gonzaga and UCLA -- and by the way, it's a miracle that two great programs from different conferences have developed a tried-and-true rivalry just because of all their showdowns in March Madness -- but I was totally wrong on Michigan St., Arkansas and, worst of all, Princeton (although, not to sound defensive, I poured $300 on the Tigers based on what The Athletic told me).  The hole's not insurmountable, but it's huge and gaping.

---

Luckily for me, it's an even Round.  Will basing a lot of my prognostications on what they did in their last Games be the wise move?

1) Kansas St. -1 1/2 (I just checked FiveThirtyEight; they have the Wildcats' matchup with Florida Atlantic as a pure Toss-Up.  That shocks the hell out of me, because I am ready to apologize to Kansas St. for underestimated them.  I never gave these Wildcats a chance of advancing this far.  They got a 3-Seed and we acted like the Selection Committee gave that number to them by mistake.  And they had certain characteristics of a Goliath susceptible to be felled by a mid-Major David.  But they persevered, especially in Overtime to finally put away Michigan St.  The Owls have been analytics darlings all season, especially because they were pursuing their own, lonely brand of existence, and no know-it-all likes it more than shoving their new find in the faces of their haters.  But here, I am going by the adage that when it comes right down to it, the higher Seed, and thus the group with the better overall talent, will prevail.  But I have no dog in this fight, so I think I will be delighted either way) $100

1) Florida Atlantic +1 1/2 (Yeah, I did that last/Friday night when I was really, really tired.  I'm going to reconsider, even though that very narrow line scares me.  Slingshot on The Athletic gives the Owls less than a 30% chance of winning.  But there is a reason I didn't believe the Wildcats were going to go far.  It's lost on me now [mainly because I'm still dealing with a water leak or six], but I am going to go with my gut and say Florida Atlantic, at the very worst, loses by 1.  Yeah, I might as well Moneyline this thing, but now, as I type this, I'm not very confident about any of this) $100

2) UConn -3 (The Huskies, of all groups, have been the most dominating team in this tournament.  Their three-point shooting woes don't seem to have hurt them much so far.  Gonzaga has been a much better defensive team lately, but I am going to say that their Defense overall remains average, and that UConn will be able to score against the Zags down low with relative impunity) $100

3) San Diego St. +2 (I'm surprised Creighton is favored.  FiveThirtyEight has the Aztecs winning, I believe.  I think that the Bluejays have had a relatively easy path to this point.  I also think their hot shooting will come to an end here.  And I think SDSU will ride their Defense to an unlikely Final Four trip.  I had no belief either club would get this far.  By the way, if I had more time, I would ML this too, but I don't because, you know, water leaks) $100

4) Texas -4 (The only remaining squad who, at least according to Seed, should be here.  Frankly, the way things are going now, nothing will surprise me.  Miami probably will run the Longhorns off the court.  But frankly, I have the Longhorns in the Final Four, so I need them to beat the Hurricanes here, and dance with who brung ya, blah-blah-blah) $100

5) And I may as well parlay all four together, for $100.

Good luck!

Bad Leak Becomes Bad Leaks

Shut off the main water valve and turned down the water heater to "Vacation" before leaving for work yesterday/Friday morning.  Got back home to see some water -- a puddle, nothing big, but that ain't something I expected to see -- underneath said water heater.  But with the main valve plugged up, no water is squirting through the pinhole.

I had to open up the water for ***u** to use so she could clean the house.  At first, unbelievably, I didn't see any pinhole leaks, and the water that pooled underneath the water heater seeped through the permeable floor.  But eventually I saw that fine squirt -- two, and then three, of them, in fact.  I shut down the main, turned it on again because I really, really wanted to wash the rest of the dishes and clean a load of laundry, then turned it off again once I was done because I saw the water squirt and seep through everywhere.  I'll have to do this bullshit dance until they get home, aren't they?

I have noticed that the water heater seems to act up whenever I turn off the main valve, and when I turn that valve back on and crank it, the leak from the water heater stops.  So, are they interrelated?  If so, haven't seen that before.

You know, I thought I was going to blog post about being rude to this person at work who I think was rude to me several months ago, or blog post about possibly being stopped at a red light where I wasn't supposed to and having so many people pissed at me.  But I just saw that there's another goddamn leak from the water pipe in the basement.  Fuck me.

2023 March Madness Anti-Picks, Round 3

Record, Round 2: 5-3

Overall Record: 13-14

Outlay, Round 2: $550.00

Winnings, Round 2: $659.48

Gain, Round 2: $109.48

Overall Loss: $235.52

I now think that I do better in the even Rounds, the ones with a two-Day turnaround after these teams' Games.  It feels as if the combination of clubs scrambling to get intelligence on an opponent they didn't know until 48 Hours before they play them and oddsmakers scrambling to crunch all the data mere hours after a matchup is set creates latitude for me to bet smartly and well.  I love the tournament -- well, I really, really loved it until 2011, when Turner horned in and foisted Charles Barkley and Kenny Smith upon us with college basketball knowledge they didn't garner because they haven't followed the season, but it really was ruined in 2001, when they went to 65 squads and had that first goddamned play-in Game, but I digress -- and I think the first Thursday and Friday of March Madness are The Best 48 Hours In American Sport.  But having such success with Round 2 makes me think that if I want to make money, I need to stick around that weekend.  And if I were to actually gamble in Las Vegas, even though I'd probably lay out a lot of money for Round 1, I'd make sure I at least put in some wagers for Round 2 before I leave.  I kind of think that I would come out ahead.

---

Unfortunately, Round 3 is upon us, and teams will have five Days to scout their foes.  This odd Round usually does not bode well for me.  And I still under.  But I will fake-bet nevertheless:

1) Michigan St. -1 1/2 (Remember that the Spartans are the 7-Seed and their opponent, Kansas St., is the 3-Seed.  Analytics thinks Sparty should win.  And I have a personal investment in them emerging victorious: They are one of few outliers still alive in my bracket, so I need them to pull through here for me to have any chance of finishing in the money in the big tournament I'm in) $100

2) Arkansas +4 (Of all the teams I analyzed in the field, the Razorbacks befuddled me the most.  They have two players, Anthony Black and Nick Smith, Jr., who are projected to be First Round picks in this Year's NBA Draft.  And yet Arkansas kept losing to bad teams and bobbing just above .500.  And then last weekend they upset Kansas.  That makes me scared that the 'Backs are finally putting it altogether, and of course they would do so against Connecticut, my Final Four team from this region.  Arkansas Head Coach Eric Musselman is an asshole [and a chip off the old block of his dead old man, Bill], so I am afraid that I am predicting good things happening to bad people) $100

3) UCLA-Gonzaga Over 145.5 (The Bruins have been excellent in Defense all season, the Bulldogs in Offense.  What tips the scales for me is UCLA is out lockdown defender Guard Jaylen Clark, who is missing the whole tourney because of an Achilles injury.  That makes me think this will be more of a shootout than it otherwise would be) $50

4) Princeton +10 (You should read the Bracket Busters stories on The Athletic if you subscribe.  They haven't been perfect at all this season -- they missed hugely on Farleigh Dickinson, even though everyone did -- but their analysis as to why this matchup more favors an upset than others is well-thought-out.  And even though the Tigers are facing huge odds against Creighton, the people behind Bracket Busters think they have a very live shot of being the first 15-Seed to ever reach the Regional Final.  And I believe them.  So I will Best Bet this Against The Spread ...) $200

5) Princeton M/L +396 (... and put some money down on them Straight-Up) $100

Good luck!

Addendum To: Linin' Up My Hoes ... Pissin' Away My Money

So ***e* came over and jerked me off.  I have had trouble orgasming (wow, that's a word), but never, ever when ***e* jacks me off.  Don't know why, but that's one of the reasons I keep, uh, cumming back to her.  She has never really failed to deliver.

Meanwhile, ****e* finally texted back about cleaning my house, and I had to repeat that I had already found someone.  It's another stripper girlfriend, ***u**, the one who was desperate, if not thirsty, to clean my house in order to make money.  We hammered out the details on Monday, I think, but I had offered to have her come over Friday instead of Monday because she initially said Friday was best.  She said Friday would be best, but only from 5 to 8.

That immediately raised a paranoid red flag for me.  I know I have complained in the past at how freakin' long ****e* has taken to clean my house.  And, yeah, it might seem hypocritical, but when ***u** said she could take three hours to clean my house, my first thought was, "Only three hours?"  The house could use a lot of cleaning.  There's dust everywhere, I think I got salt on the front door rug, the kitchen's a damn mess, and you should see the upstairs toilet.  This should take more than three hours, but that's all the time ***u** is going to give me?  What corners is she going to cut?

But I made a commitment to ***u**.  And despite ****e* repeatedly texting me yesterday/Tuesday that she could squeeze me but I'd have to say yes quickly, I have decided to at least uphold my end of this appointment and trust that ***u** will come and clean -- even though I've never seen her clean before, even though she said she needs to use my broom and mop, even though I don't completely trust that she even knows how to clean a house because this will be the first time I see her do it.  Otherwise, I would be jumping back to ****e* when it feels as though she might not have time between now and a week from now to clean, and if she also falls through, I'm shit outta luck.  (And by the way, I asked her to come clean in early February ... even though, by the way, she has gone through a lot of things lately.)

So I hope ***u** does a good job.  Shit, I hope she shows up on time.

Linin' Up My Hoes ... Pissin' Away My Money

I think I spent three grand in order to pay my credit card bills, and they're still not paid up yet.  So, what do I do about a week left to go before my parents come back to town?  Hastily arrange all my stripper girlfriends to come over and soothe me one last time and my place.  And of course all that requires money -- money I will need to pay off eventually.  I'm glad I have a job that pays the bills, but right now it feels like I'm spending so much money that even this job won't pay for it all.

And yet I have someone coming in over the weekend to clean my house (no sexytime included).  And then there is another stripper girlfriend and her friend who have agreed to massage me naked, also over the weekend.  I thought about cancelling this encounter with ***e* tonight/Tuesday night because I was going to ask her to clean the house, but when she said she couldn't and that she would be in town only till tomorrow/Wednesday, I used the excuse that she won't be able to cum see me at home for a while to still ask her to rub me out one.  And that, as well as the double masseuses and the housecleaning stripper, costs money, probably more than I should.  Why do I do this to myself?

All The Free Fast Food I Can Get Because It's My Birthday

I have signed up for so many applications that around my birthday, I get all these offers for free food.  I appreciate the sentiment/customer relations move.  But I have so many, each with its own particular offer and expiration date, that I think I need to list them here in order to put them in some kind of order so I can take advantage of all of them.  (This does not include all the free food I have already taken advantage of from McDonald's, Popeyes, and Dunkin' Donuts.)  And so, here we go:

• Arby's: free medium shake with purchase; expires 4/3
• Caribou: free drink; expires, I think, Friday
• Chipotle: free guacamole; expires 4/16
• Dunn Bros: free drink (up to $5); expires, I think, Friday
• Jimmy John's: free 8" sandwich; expires 4/16
• Potbelly: free desert (up to $5); expires 3/31
• Papa John's: free desert; expires, I think, 3/31
• Culver's: free scoop of frozen custard and one topping; expires 3/31

And Now I Have To Fucking Show Up On Time For Work

Well, it finally happened: My boss finally noticed and called me out for not showing up for work on time.

Honestly, I knew this hammer was coming.  Working in The Fourth Department from the outset was so stressful that I needed to indulge in some self-care before I went in.  So, I bought myself a coffee and some breakfast to eat -- sometimes McDonald's, sometimes a gas station, sometimes a coffeehouse.  And I would sometimes park my car at work and eat the sandwich or biscuit or muffin before heading in.  I simply didn't want to rush in to work and face the shit that was The Fourth Department.  And if I got in five minutes after the top of the hour, well, I felt entitled to it.

Now, I will say that it's gotten a lot better.  But I still have days.  Also, and this I think is an important distinction, while the work is getting easier, it's not getting shorter.  In other words, most of the crap I deal with now I know how to handle, but that doesn't mean there's a lot of it, especially on Mondays when I need to tackle all the work that piled up over the weekend.

Thus, I still feel like I should, you know, treat myself for working that position.  But I've started to take more and more minutes to myself, even as the stress over it has eased.  Five minutes became ten, and lately, I've been pushing 15.  I've been doing it for the past few months, to be honest.  I just thought my start time was kind of flexible, especially since I often have to stay more than eight hours to get all my stuff done anyway.

With that being said, however, I remember talking to my boss about starting at the top of the hour.  We are hourly, so there is some regimentation to my positions, all of them.  So I kind of knew that what I was doing was not OK, especially since I've been slipping later and later past the top of the hour.

Now, with that said, I need to tell you how he busted me.  He did it via text yesterday, while I was not at work.  Being called out like this, justified though it may be, still rankles me because it hurts my pride: "How dare you question my integrity?!" is something I still viscerally feel.  I thought about not commenting, and then being defensive when I text back to him.  Finally, after breathing deeply and thinking about it for a few hours, I decided to give a somewhat half-ass explanation -- that I just gave myself time to myself -- but fine, I'll start showing up on time.  To which he only replied, "Thanks!"  I thought we were going to have a bit more of a back-and-forth on this.  The hell?

However, there is a tardy policy that the company has.  I don't know how consistently it's enforced, but if anybody has demonstrated a pattern of tardiness, anodyne as I think it is, it's me.  Frankly, if the company went by the strictest definition of "tardy," I think I would be tagged for it dozens of times.  That would be really bad.  But in his text, my boss said that he'll chalk it up to a "misunderstanding."  I have to take that.  I don't have much of a choice.

And yet it's going to be both awkward and a bit humiliating coming in "on time" from now on, especially if I walk through the front door and see him walking by.  I will have half a mind to say, "What the hell was that text all about!"  But I know I don't have a leg to stand on.  I can bitch and protest all I want; he's the boss, he can set my hours, and I'd be lying if I insisted I could come in whenever I wanted to.

And yet ... goddamn, I need that breakfast in the morning!  Can't I just get five fuckin' minutes!  Well, that led to ten and then 15, so. ...  Anyway, if I really want to buy something in the morning, I'll have to, like, wake up half an hour earlier, or -- well, stop lolling in bed and get to work sooner.  But that fucking sucks.  Man, I don't know what I'm gonna do, especially tomorrow, the first day after getting busted like this.  Dammit. ...

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Whitecaps (Last Week: -6).  OK, I did not see this coming at all.  The Whitecaps ended the regular season with a 3-1 Loss to the Connecticut Whale at home.  They ended the season on an eight-Game losing streak.  They didn't just limp but crawled into the playoffs (which are only four teams; I was grossly mistaken in thinking all seven teams in the Premier Hockey Federation made it and Minnesota would have to break a seven-Game home losing streak in their First Round matchup) to face a Boston Pride squad that only lost four times all Year and scored 40 more Goals than they allowed.  The Pride are doing what The Boston Bruins are doing in the NHL.

Make that "were!"  In an upset that kinda-sorta rivals Farleigh Dickinson taking out Purdue in gob-smacking impossibility (OK, maybe not), the Whitecaps not only beat but swept the Pride in Boston this weekend.  Hell, even more than that, neither contest was close; it was 5-2 Thursday and 4-1 last/Saturday evening.  They scored as many Goals in this sweep as they did during their losing streak.  What happened?  Well, maybe paradoxically, the reason their Offense broke out like a virus is because Goalie Amanda Leveille returned from injury.  (I don't know how long she was out or when she returned, and that would have been something I would've liked to have known.)

So maybe the Whitecaps can do what the Gopher men's hockey team still might be able to do and what the Gopher women's hockey team failed to do (see below): Give the Twin Cities a championship.  They will face either The Toronto Six or the Whale in a single-Match championship next Sunday night in, of all places, Mullet Arena, the new home of the Arizona St. men's hockey team and the temporary home of The Bastard Winnipeg Jets.  And since this is at a neutral site, the Whitecaps don't have to worry about trying to break that home losing streak in the Isobel Cup Final.  Roll 'Caps!

#0: United FC (Last Week: -3).  Emanuel who?  The Loons went on the road and defeated The Colorado Rapids -- a team that an anonymous survey of Major League Soccer front office folks by The Athletic was named as having The Worst Ownership In The League, 2-1.  They trailed in the 49th, but tied it up on a Penalty Kick in the 54th by Luis Amarilla, then won it in the 82nd on a header by Miguel Tapias off a fantastic Free Kick by Franco Fragapane.

It's the first time MNUFC has ever won at Colorado (well, Denver ... well, actually Commerce City, Colo.).  And they have seven Points through the first three Matches of the Year.  I really like how this side is coping, and even scoring, without its talisman.  Now to hope they can keep it up at home Saturday against Vancouver.  The season has just started, but this squad has only dropped Points at Allianz Field and are perfect through two Matches on the road.

#-1: Gopher softball (Last Week: -2).  I looked at the schedule this ballclub had this screening Week and I saw the Oklahoma State Mizuno Classic.  Never heard of it before, and I didn't remember typing out that tournament name for last Week's survey.  Then I scrolled up to see the Shocker Invite, a tournament I did mention in last Week's WMNSS.  The Gophers had two Games in that Shocker Invite, both Wins, both played on Friday.  But the U. then went from Wichita, Kans., to Stillwater, Okla., to play the Arizona St. and the host Cowgirls the next Day.  Huh?

Blame the weather.  Back on Wednesday, the U. put out a release that the rest of the Shocker Invite on Saturday and Sunday was cancelled due to bad weather.  However, Minnesota apparently rejiggered the schedule on the fly and got a spot in a tournament the next state down in a matter of, what, days, if not hours?  (Also, the Games Saturday and Sunday of the Shocker Invite were canceled on Wednesday, if not Tuesday?  You can see the impact of bad weather three or four days in advance?  Technology, I tell ya.)

The Gophers defeated the Sun Devils 4-3 and got shut out by the Cowgirls 6-0.  (Oh, by the way, they finished up their Gopher Indoor Classic last Sunday with dominating victories over Drake and St. Thomas, thus sweeping all five Games they had at U. S. Bank Stadium.)  The U. played both contests yesterday/Saturday afternoon.  In fact, they started the Game vs. Arizona St. at noon; they finished their previous Game, versus Wichita St., at 8:48 p.m.  So they got done Friday night, hightailed it from Wichita to Stillwater to get to Okie St. by noon Saturday, and played basically a traditional Doubleheader against two different teams.  I suspect that they didn't want to change their flight-out plans for Sunday, so they got impromptu coach service to drive them ... oh!  Only two hours (mostly down I-35!) to Stillwater and back.  They got at least a couple Games in this weekend (and against quality opponents, no less), and I guess now the players have time to do homework and/or relax today/Sunday before coming home.

And that was it for their non-conference schedule.  They begin Big Ten play at Northwestern for a three-Game series starting Friday ... weather permitting.

#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: 0).  So they lost the Big Ten Men's Hockey Championship Game at home last/Saturday night to Michigan, 4-3.  Won't get too worked up about it.  They have the overall #1 Seed locked in for the NCAA Tournament, so while winning a conference tournament trophy would've been nice, gearing up for the tourney that matters is more important.

I will say this.  Many college hockey diehards, and I consider myself curious in that sense, believe the formation of the B1G Hockey Conference destroyed the fabric of men's college hockey.  That realignment lopped off the most powerful schools in the WCHA and CCHA, hockey-only leagues that survived and thrived between, respectively, 81 and 42 Years.  Its strange mix of well-known schools across football and basketball and largely Division III programs just worked, and the sport became its own strange but stable entity until Penn St. was formed in 2012.  After the move was made and Minnesota stopped playing longtime rivals like North Dakota and Minnesota-Duluth, attendance and attention plummeted (which, to be fair, coincided with a notable downturn in the on-ice success of the Golden Gopher men's program).  I remember there was a sign a fan held up during a Game in an early B1G tournament that said, "B1G MISTAKE."

I don't know how it is in other places that were affected by this schism, but it took until this season, and really this calendar Year, for Golden Gopher men's hockey to be back to where it was, and for Mariucci Arena to be the rollicking hothouse it had been during its halcyon days.  The last several Games at 3M have been sellouts, mainly because the fanbase finally had a club worth watching.  Also, there appears to be a budding rivalry with Michigan brewing.  Minnesota might have the better PairWise rating, but the Wolverines are the ones whose players are getting drafted in the top 10, if not top 5, of the NHL Draft in recent Years.  That has set up a lot of chippy Games between the two, and I'm pretty sure last/Saturday night's title tilt was no exception.  The success of the teams combined with the building of a foundation of a rivalry with a school that did not even exist in hockey until a decade ago is the only way to (and I know this term is harsh, and I don't like any of what's happening, but I think it is accurate) erase the memories of the old WCHA.  The Big Ten needs to make men's hockey work, and to the detriment of the sport's history, I think it started to work this season.

In a change that is welcomed by me, the men's hockey tournament selection show will be tonight/Sunday night, not in the morning.  I tried going to Hooters as soon as they opened at 11 a.m. because that was the traditional time the NCAA revealed the field.  This is better.  By the way, all the bracketologists agree that the U. will be playing in Fargo and will face Canisius in the First Round of the tourney next weekend.

This team, by the way, represents the best chance the Twin Cities has of enjoying a championship of some renown.  It's been a long goddamn time.  No pressure.  But please don't fuck this up.

#-3: Gopher women's basketball (Re-Entry!).  I thought I was going to talk about Lindsay Whalen's "resignation" in a separate blog post, but I have to be real and admit that's not going to happen, so I'll expound a bit here.

All those who thought hiring her was a disaster was right.  I don't like it; I was hoping like hell she'd succeed.  But Whalen had no experience coaching -- not as a Head or an Assistant, not in the pros or college or even high school.  Athletic Director Mark Coyle hired her because she was Lindsay Whalen, and he thought her name and star power alone would keep recruits in-state and fans reliving her playing days packing Williams Arena.  I hate calling her tenure a "failure."  But it's accurate.  (By the way, people who wanted her to stick around one more Year to see if her highly-touted class next Year could turn things around forget that she had a highly-touted class this Year and she didn't do a damn thing with it.)

The subsequent hire usually has strengths the predecessor lacks.  In this case, Coyle needed to hire someone with, you know, actually coaching experience -- successful coaching experience preferably, but really, any experience would be an improvement, sad to say.  In that sense, Coyle, who hired Whalen, seems to have made a very good hire in plucking Dawn Plitzuweit from West Virginia after only one season.  Before that she was at South Dakota for six Years, the last of which culminated in the Coyotes' first-ever run to the Sweet Sixteen.  And her first Head Coach job was at Grand Valley State, where she won the Division II NCAA title in 2006.  Why did she ditch the Mountaineers after just one season?  She's a native of West Bend, Wisc.

The talent appears to be there.  I believe all four heralded freshmen this Year said on social media they're all staying.  If Plitzuweit can keep them and keep the next class together, she might be able to coach them up into something resembling respectability.  The program's future looks bright right now.

#-4: Wild (Last Week: -1).  The division is getting really competitive, and unfortunately for the Mild, they got the short end this Week, sandwiching a wild Win in St. Louis (featuring actual fights and a near-fight between Goalies Marc-Andre Fleury and Jordan Binnington) with defeats to Arizona and Boston.  They are tied in Points with The Bastard Quebec Nordiques, but are technically in third in the Central.  And this Week is going to be a busy one -- hosting Washington, at New Jersey and Philadelphia, then home to Chicago, each Game being played every other Day beginning this/Sunday afternoon.

#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -5).  This goddamn team is so fucking hard to figure out.  They clobbered The Bastard St. Louis Hawks on the road, but then lose to Boston, Chicago, and Toronto.  The West remains tight -- 3 1/2 Games separate fifth and twelfth -- but the Two Elves currently sit in eighth, two Games below .500.

And now Ant is out.  He fell awkwardly and rolled his ankle, and he'll be out for the time being.  Add this on top of Karl-Anthony Towns supposedly starting to work out in anticipation of a return to action in ... "coming weeks," whatever the fuck that means.  This is a real bad time for your starts to be in traction.

This Week at least is a quiet one.  Only two Games: At New York (and former Head Coach) Tom Thibodeau tonight/Sunday night, then home to said Hawks Wedneday.

#-6: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -4).  Got swept at West Virginia with last Sunday's 7-4 Loss.  Split a mid-Week pair against Gonzaga at Oooos-Bahnk.  Then lost the first two Games of a three-Game set at U. S. Bank Stadium to Houston.  They already are 3-17.  One more vs. the Cougars today/Sunday at noon, then a quick two-hitter Tuesday and Wednesday at Illinois St., and then they open up Siebert Field with a trio versus Creighton to round out non-con play.

#-Infinity (tie): Gopher women's hockey and Gopher wrestling (Last Week, respectively: Positive Numbers and Re-Entry!).  Another fucking sigh to give for the Golden Goofer women's hockey team.  I guess I can't complain too much.  They reached the Frozen Four for the first time since 2019, after all.  But just like last Year, they were upset by an unseeded team, in this case Wisconsin.  In last Week's survey I said that this tilt should be a laugher.  I regret saying those words.  They struggeled against the Badgers all season; in their four meetings, the U. lost to the Badgers three times (one via Shootout), and its only Win was via Shootout.  Minnesota was the overall #2 Seed, by the way; even if the Game was decided in Overtime, by Seed the Goofers should have won.

But they didn't.  They did not play to Seed, which would have been a championship showdown with Ohio St. this/Sunday afternoon.  If the SEC has football, Minnesota should have women's hockey, so I would like to point out that Minnesota hasn't reached the title Game since 2019 and they haven't won a championship since 2016.  I do not mind asking Brad Frost what have you done for us lately.  Unlike with Lindsay Whalen, to whom I believe all U. fans should be forever indebted for what she did as a player at Minnesota, Frost doesn't have that list of unprecedented accomplishments, so I don't mind casually tossing around the f-word -- failure.

The U. had a live chance of getting this title-starved metropolis a championship of any sort since the Whitecaps captured the Isobel Cup in 2019.  They once again fell short.  What else is new?

Oh yeah, the Gopher wrestling club.  The NCAAs finished up last/Saturday night at Minnesota finished a distant, unmemorable 15th.  Aaron Nagao was the team's top finisher, taking sixth at 133 lbs.  Michael Blockhus finished eighth at 149.  Hey, remember when they won the NCAAs back in 2007?

Nightmare

Took a much-needed nap in the middle of the afternoon just now.  Had a wild dream ... yeah, I'll say nightmare where I was at, I think, the Mall of America where I and, like, a hundred other people were spending the night there.  It was in, like, a store, except we were all sleeping in there.  I was on the very outside of this storefront, so I thought to myself that I had to sleep on my side away from the lights of the halls of the Megamall.

You know, come to think of it, there's another thing.  I think I was a kid in this nightmare.  Huh.

2023 March Madness Anti-Picks, Round 2

Record, Round 1: 8-11

Outlay, Round 1: $1,450.00

Winnings, Round 1: $1,105.00

Overall Loss: $345.00

I was 7-0 for the first day.  Never done that.  Never.  And then I went 1-8 for the second day.  Add that I blew all three parlays, and I wind up where I wound up.  Fucking sucks -- and then I remember that this is all fake.

What really irks me is that I would have pulled off the five-legged parlay if not for my alma mater shitting the bed.  Goddamn, that would have been sweet -- even if it is fake.

---

Since this is an even round, turnaround odds for some online sites simply aren't in.  (I'm using Covers, by the way.)  But all Games have at least an opening line, so I am saying all odds are live:

1) San Diego St. -5 1/2 (Furman should have lost) $100

2) Duke -3 1/2 (Note that Tennessee is the higher seed and yet is not only an underdog, but is an underdog by this much ... and I think it's a little low) $100

3) Missouri -6 1/2 (I want Princeton to win so fucking bad, but I think the Tigers' high-risk, high-variance play will prove they are the victorious Tigers today/Saturday) $50

4) Kentucky -1 (another inversion; Kansas St. is the higher seed) $100

5) Michigan St. +2 1/2 (I think they're poised enough to beat Marquette; also, this keeps up the integrity of my bracket) $50 

6) UConn -3 1/2 (I'll be honest; I have the Huskies advancing to the Final Four ... and I had St. Mary's losing yesterday/Friday) $50

7) Creighton +1 (Baylor is extremely vulnerable defensively on the down low; if the Bluejays can exploit that ...) $50

8) An underdog parlay: Pair 5) with 7), for $50.

Good luck!

Songs Playing On The Minute Of My Birth

I was going to rush and get a shave after my basketball team lost in the NCAA Tournament early this afternoon, but I thought better of it.  I needed to make absolutely sure I was going to be able to sit in my car and listen to the radio at the minute of my birth, and I was afraid something might happen on my way to or during the shave.

So I went to drop off my dress shirts for dry cleaning and pooped at the office building where I drop off my dry cleaning instead.  But, well, it took too long to wipe and wipe and wipe, so I got out of there a couple minutes before my birth minute.  And then I had to walk in the cold without wearing my long coat (seriously, it's cold objectively, but it's especially cold compared to the warmth of the sun and how warm I expect it to be in mid-March).  And then I had to start my car and, most annoyingly (First World Problem division) I had to wait for the audio system to allow me to change the station from the one that's broadcasting the tournament Games.  By the time I could, it was ten seconds into my birth minute.  A disaster, I know.

But after cycling through my pre-sets, I can tell you I can separate the stations into two categories: Those that don't count because they were in commercials, and those playing songs that I can't recognize because they're popular now and I have no idea what the young'uns are into these days.  I feel very, very old.

Nonetheless, I was able to listen to two songs that were playing at the minute of my birth:

• On Jack FM: Queen, "We Are The Champions"
• On The Current: Altin Gun, "Rakiya Su Katamam" (thank Buddha for The Current for showing its playlist on its website; I have heard this song on occasion -- and it's a banger -- but because they speak in Turkish [and are from Amsterdam], I couldn't understand the name of either the band or the song)

So I Just Made A Hotdish ... I Think

(And by the way, we here in Minnesota call it a "hotdish," not a "casserole."  It's like we play Duck, Duck, Gray Duke and all y'all play Duck, Duck, Goose: Minnesota's version is way better.)

So a month ago I saw this story on a local station about The First Hotdish Recipe.  As a Minnesotan would suspect, it came from a housewife and was published in her Lutheran church's cookbook.  I am a sucker for experiencing superlatives, so despite not being able to cook, I became obsessed with at least thinking about making this dish.

Somehow, the transcription of the story on the station's website does not have the recipe.  But after searing around the Internet, I found it on a website called Ramshackle Pantry.  Seems straightforward enough; I may not cook, but I think I know how to follow instructions.  Two of the things you need to do are cook the hamburger (which I'm guessing is ground beef in modern parlance) and cook the pasta, and I know how to do both because I make spaghetti.  Everything else appears to be a case of just buying the stuff, throwing them all into a baking dish (which I had to buy, ironically), and not being afraid to use the stove.

After some thought, I deciding I was going to do it.  And then Mother told me they'd be home in late March (which is just two weeks from now), and considering all the other food I had bought for myself, I thought I had to eat all that stuff first.  Besides, clean-up is going to be a mess.

So I put it out of my mind until maybe the next time my parents leave.  But then some things just started coming together.  For one, someone from work left a can of refried beans in the break room one day.  For some reason, I took it.  I thought I could combine it with the rice I would make for myself one of these days because white rice by itself is boring.  A few weeks later, however (which was a couple weeks ago), I saw carrots and onions in the break room, presumably left by the same person.  The original recipe called for onions, so I took those.  I don't remember why I took the carrots.  But shortly thereafter I realized that this is food I also should eat up before my folks come home.  And the thing is, carrots and refried beans are not part of the recipe.  But I concluded that if I don't make some kind of hotdish, I would be wasting all of this food I took home with me.

So, after I modified and/or chucked a lot of the ingredients, I decided to make it.  I substituted the carrots and the beans for the celery and the peas in the original recipe.  I had half a box of seashell pasta from the time I made spaghetti, and I saw Mother left a small portion of angel hair pasta in a box in the pantry, so even though the original recipe called for rotini, I forewent that so I could use up even more leftovers.  And once the secondhand baking dish (as recommended by The Wirecutter) was delivered home via Amazon, it was time to try making it.  And I tried last/Thursday night.

And it turned out ... uh, it turned out.  First of all, the guy from the Ramshackle Pantry website said prep time is only half an hour, and that's crap because it took me more than two hours to peel the carrots, wash the refried beans, cut the onions, cook the onions and ground beef and make the pasta.  Anyway, I couldn't throw into the baking dish all the ingredients I wanted to use because it got too full.  One thing I noticed from the original recipe is that it wasn't as "bindy," or cheesy as I though hotdishes should be.  Apparently a creamy soup helps with that, and it just so happened that I bought a can of Campbell's Cream of Chicken soup that I hadn't gotten around to eating with the bowl of rice I haven't yet made.  But after adding the carrots and the beans and the onions and ground beef and diced tomatoes (I kept that from the original) and the pasta, I thought adding the soup was going to spill the whole hotdish over.  I thought it was going to spill over anyway, so I put the baking dish on a baking sheet to collect all the food that otherwise would've reached the bottom of the oven.  I did have parmesan cheese I sprinkled into the hotdish, but it doesn't look like it helped with the, uh, bindiness.  I was given 2 1/2 pounds of ground beef when I asked for only two, so maybe that extra 1/2-pound was the reason I couldn't add Cream of Chicken soup.

Otherwise, uh, it's edible.  I could eat it.  But it is kind of bland, I think.  The recipe calls for salt and pepper to taste, and I even added some paprika, but I didn't measure any of it.  I just sprinkled it on there, and I wonder if I should have added more, or less.

Regardless, I have a whole baking dish of it left to eat.  And in another bit of irony, I think it'll take me a few days to eat it all, so I thus have made myself more food I should eat before my parents get home, even though I had already said I need to go through all this food I already have.  But I am glad that I made, or attempted to make, a hotdish.  Now I know what it takes to prepare and what I can do to improve the product.  I hope to follow the original hotdish recipe the next time I tackle it, and I intend for it to turn out well.

2023 March Madness Anti-Picks: Round 1

Let me say that this appears to be the most wide-open tournaments in Years.

OK, on to my picks, against which you probably will be able to make money:

1) Furman +5 1/2 $100

2) Furman M/L +201 +50

3) Missouri +1 1/2 $50

4) Princeton +14 1/2 $50

5) Arkansas -2 $100

6) Auburn -1 $100

7) Penn St. + 2 1/2 $50

8) USC +2 $100

9) VCU +4 $100

10) Vermont +10 1/2 $50

11) N. C. St. +5 1/2 $50

12) Providence +4 $50

13) Drake +2 $200

14) Drake M/L +111 $50

15) Kent St. +4 $100

16) Arizona St. +4 1/2 $50

17) Parlay 2) with 14), for $100

18) A BcS, five-legged parlay -- 5), 6), 7), 8), and 16), for $50

19) A non-BcS, three-legged parlay -- 9), 10), and 15), for $50.

Good luck!

Can't Go To The Gym

It's been a couple, if not a few, weeks since I've gone to the gym.  And to be honest, it has been for a lack of trying.  I mean, I know I should go work out, and a part of me wants to work out -- sometimes.  But I haven't been able to go.

Ultimately, it's me.  I just haven't really committed myself into exercising.  I feel out of shape, and I think I could have done more to combat my insouciance and just get my butt into the community center.  With that said, I have had other ... yeah, let's call them excuses that have stymied me.

Let's start small and petty.  I was going to work out after work Monday.  But once again, work in The Fourth Department made me get out of there late.  Combine that with me needing to go to the library to both print out the bracket and e-mail my alma mater's alumni association a report for this volunteer event I set up.  By the time I left the library, it was close to 8 p.m.  The gym I go to closes at around 10, but there is this indoor volleyball group that I was afraid would end at around 8.  The locker room is small, and I didn't want to be around a bunch of nude men while I was changing clothes.  If I got there earlier, I was pretty sure I would avoid that, but not around 8.  So I went home and used the stair climber at home instead.

I tried going there a few days before.  But I lolled around, looking at my phone, before hopping out of bed a bit past 7, which is a tad late for me to go out to exercise.  Then I waited ten minutes at a train crossing.  And then, once I got to the front desk of the community center, there was this old lady who also wanted to use the exercise room.  She was coughing up a whole lung while asking dumb questions about the exercise room.  I walked down to the locker room and thought, nah, I don't want to be working out in the same room as that person.  And on my way out, I saw that lady, presumably in the clothes she would be exercising in, smoking a cigarette.

So I went home and used the stair climber at home instead.  I had this quasi-obsession of using that thing while my parents were gone.  Specifically, that stair climber has four settings, two of 20 minutes and two of 30, that I wanted to go through.  Moreover, I had to go through one cycle of each of the settings or else my OCD would really act up.  I completed that cycle before leaving for Hawai'i last year, so I thought about going through one more cycle, even though I really wanted to work out at the gym because it has more equipment and TVs.  But running into this lady reminded me of a perk of working out at home which I occasionally had to deal with at that exercise room: I am totally by myself, and don't have to worry about other people breathing out potentially sick germs.  Hell, I can also work out naked!

I was afraid running out to the community center would ruin my chances of completing a second cycle.  But seeing this dirty lady, and then needing to spend time at the library, allowed me to finish up the last two settings and complete a second cycle on the stair climber.  Oh, and Mother has weight I use for a little weight training.  Oh, and Father gave me this push-up bar that I also use when I'm working out at home.  OK, so I do have a few things to work out with at home.  Still want to go out to the gym.

I wanted to go Thursday, and maybe catch some tournament Games if I go in the evening.  But there's yet another goddamn snowstorm that appears to be bad enough that driving out to the community center isn't wise.  That's hasn't been the first time this winter I wanted to go out and work out but couldn't because of a snowstorm.  But really, the dreariness of the winter, in particular night coming on so early, had slowly eroded any energy I had after work to go drive out there.  I knew that I had to fight that inertia because otherwise I would be very out of shape, but I couldn't motivate myself to get up and get out often enough.  And so I stayed at home, mostly in bed, fat.

Daylight Saving(s) Time should be an effort to combat that.  The change happened Sunday and I already feel more energy after work because it's brighter later.  I think I will be even more motivated once my parents are home because I don't really want to be at home the same time as them a whole lot.  But in retrospect, yeah, I think I allowed too many obstacles to stop me from exercising.

Teams On The Cut Lines: March Madness 2023

So Nevada is the surprise team in and Rutgers (I guess) is the surprise team out.  In the evening the NCAA releases The Seed List, where every team in the field is put in order according to The Selection Committee.  Here is this Year's:

The official NCAA 1-68 seed list: pic.twitter.com/fuiHCGbLrK

— Jeff Borzello (@jeffborzello) March 12, 2023

So, as we can see:

• Team 64, aka The Last Team In In A Perfect And Just World: Providence
• Team 65, aka Who Really Should Be The #1 Overall Seed In The Not Invited Tournament: Mississippi St.
• Team 68, aka The Last Team In This Temporal Plane And Bloated, Asymmetrical, And Disharmonious Bracket: Nevada
• Team 69, aka The Last (Not First, Last) Team Out, According To The Chair Of The NCAA Selection Committee: Oklahoma St.

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: February 2023

A marked improvement over January.  I initially thought it was only markedly better compared to last month, but as I've looked at it more and more, I think it is a decent, and even good, month overall.

I can point out six of the dozen waitresses for the month.  In ascending order:

• In sixth place is Rebecca, of Fort Smith, Ark.  She posed in a 45-degree angle, but otherwise it shows off her thin, even beanpole figure.  Love her long brunette (or is it black?) hair and salmon two-piece bikini set off from her pale skin.
• In fifth place is Ci'Anna, hailing from Sarasota, Fla.  Long blonde hair, blue two-piece, and the top has a circular hole in the middle showing off her sideboob (and she's got pretty sizable tits, too).  She's pretty much facing the photographer head-on.  I usually don't like that her arms are covering her body, but she's pulling down the bottom of that hole in her top, making horndogs like me think as though she's about to pull off her top.  Nice touch!
• In fourth place is Taylor, from San Marcos, Calif.  I'm beginning to see that I love the girls when they're wearing Hooters-branded material.  Although her top covers more skin than a bikini top usually does, I appreciate looking at the logo, and it looks like a torn-ish version of a Hooters waitress top.  And she's got a bikini bottom in Hooters orange and a sexy-looking stomach, too.
• In third place is Kelci, of Beaumont, Tex.  She is wearing a beige-ish, patterned one-piece bikini which has a V-shaped cut down to the middle of her stomach to show off her sideboob.  That swimsuit covers a lot.  What puts her in 3rd, however, is her beaming, high-wattage smile.  Does a man have to get cancelled if he prefers women who smile?
• In second place is Jacksonville's Blakelyn.  The combination of her ... her just works.  She's got dark brown hair, she's posed at a 45-degree angle, and she's got a blue two-piece on that seems to be made with fabric.  She's got a wry smile and, at least from the way she's posed, big and strong haunches that I can't help but focus on.  She seems like an athletic woman, and my imagining how, uh, fit she is puts her in second.
• Finally, in first place is Jennifer, hailing from Tucson, Ariz.  Dark blonde, wearing a patterned two-piece bikini, facing directly at the camera, and her wet hair makes it look like she really is emerging from the pool.  Best of all, she's got a massive rack.  And I just noticed that she appears to be closer to the camera than other women in their pictures.  She's framed in a way that's in your face, which is not a bad thing.  Her picture is just "Bam!" and I love it!

So congratulations to Jennifer and to the rest of the babes I singled out for February 2023.  I shall masturbate to you as soon as I get the chance!

Final Bracketology, According To The Bracket Matrix

I once again thank The Bracket Matrix for its job in aggregating all the bracketologists out there into one hive mind/groupthink bracket.  As of press time, they say they have The Final Bracket from which to compare the actual bracket from the NCAA.  With that in mind, here are the teams on the cutline, in order according to The Bracket Matrix:

• The Real Last Four In: Utah St., USC, Providence, Mississippi St.
• Play-In Games/Would Be The Top Seeds In The NIT Of A Just And Righteous World: N. C. St., Rutgers, Pittsburgh, Arizona St.
• Actually, It Should Be Called The Last Three Teams Out (I have noticed that once all the championship Games are decided, there aren't a lot of teams that are considered to be out; according to TBM, three teams [Clemson, North Carolina and Wisconsin] have only one bracketologist apiece thinking it's in, so I'm leaving those teams out of the mix): Nevada, Oklahoma St., Vanderbilt

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  I forgot that last season for this club ended in failure with an upset Loss at home in the NCAA Tournament by Minnesota-Duluth, their Quarterfinal opponent yesterday/Saturday, also at home.  This time, thankfully, the Gophers won, and their 3-0 Shutout left no doubt who was going to got to the Women's Frozen Four ... which, this Year, happens to be in Duluth, Minn.  He-he-he-he-hee, delicious!!!

And it's going to be another WCHA opponent in Friday's Semifinal.  The Golden Gophers will face Wisconsin, which is unseeded, went to Hamilton, N. Y., ripped through Long Island U. 9-1 Thursday and upset host and third-Seed Colgate 4-2 yesterday/Saturday afternoon.  But they are unseeded, so maybe this will be a laugher?  If the Gophers do advance, the Championship Game is Sunday afternoon.

#0: Gopher men's hockey (Re-Entry!).  And similarly, the Gopher men hockey team advanced in their tournament -- the Big Ten -- by routing Michigan St. at Mariucci before a packed crowd (some of which were students who stuck around campus even though it was Spring Break) 5-1 last/Saturday night.  They face Michigan, also at home, Saturday in an effort to complete the double.  They could lose that Game and possibly lose the #1 overall Seed for the NCAA Tournament, but the victory over the Spartans probably removes any chance the Golden Gophers will slip from the 1 band.  So next Week's showdown isn't that important.

#-1: Wild (Last Week: 0).  Lost to Calgary at home in a Shootout, then Wins in Winnipeg and San Jose has rocketed up the Central Division standings.  They are now in second place, five Points clear of The Bastard Quebec Nordiques and only two Points behind The Bastard North Stars for first.  But the main concern now is the injury to Kirill Kaprizov.  He'll be out three-to-four Weeks; can this team weather that storm?

They did in beating the Sharks on the road.  But they'll finish up a four-Game road trip with visits to Arizona and St. Louis.  They return to face Inarguably The Best Team In The NHL, Boston, Saturday afternoon.

#-2: Gopher softball (Last Week: -3).  Lost to Seattle and beat Loyola Marymount to finish the Judi Garman Classic, the moseyed on down to San Diego on Tuesday and lost to San Diego St., 2-1.  They then started the home portion of their schedule with the Gopher Indoor Classic, where they began with Wins over North Dakota St., Central Michigan, and Idaho St.  They finish up today/Sunday vs. Drake and St. Thomas, then participate in the Wichita St. Tournament, where they play South Dakota St. and the host Shockers on Friday and Northern Colorado and Wichita St. again Saturday.

#-3: United FC (Re-Entry!).  Of course it had to be a "snowpener."  And they tied 1-all with the New York Red Bulls last/Saturday night.  It feels like a Loss, though, because MNUFC went up and allowed NYRB to tie it.  Since they were ahead first, coughing up that lead makes the Tie more like a Loss, you know?  At Colorado Saturday.

#-4: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -4).  Hey, this ballclub actually won Games this Year?  It was mid-Week one-offs over Northern Illinois and South Dakota St., but they still count!  Sure, they finished getting swept at their own Cambria College Classic with a 4-0 Shutout Loss to Vanderbilt, and they ended the Week losing two-of-three at West Virginia.  And they're 2-13 right now, and ... well, yeah, that's crap.

After finishing their series at the Mountaineers, they will host Gonzaga for a two-Game midweek series, then welcome Houston for a three-tilt series over the weekend.  Gonzaga and Houston are great basketball programs, but how are they in baseball?

#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -1).  I remarked to my friend on Facebook that you never know what Timberwolves team you'll see Game by Game.  To wit: They presumably had home cooking with tilts with Philadelphia and Brooklyn.  But they got blown out by the 76ers by 23, then lost in Overtime to the Nets by a single Point.  They squandered a lot of goodwill by crapping the bed like this.  But at least they're in seventh place in the West, in a statistical tie with Dallas.  By the way, fourth and 13th place in the conference are only six Games apart.  I've seen stranger things happen.

This Week is a busy one.  They visit Atlanta tomorrow/Monday night, host Boston Wednesday, then travel to Chicago and Toronto back-to-back evenings.

#-6: Whitecaps (Last Week: -5).  Holy mother of fucker, the wheels have entirely fallen off the Whitecraps.  They returned home to Richfield for the final series of the regular season last/Saturday night and they got shut out by the Connecticut Whale, 3-0.  That extended their losing streak to seven contests with this/Sunday afternoon's regular season finale left before the playoffs begin.  Speaking of ... Minnesota is three Points ahead of Metropolitan for fourth, and assuming the standings are up-to-date, I don't think the Whitecraps are in any danger of losing what I presume to be home-ice advantage for the First Round of the PHF playoffs.  But my goddamn God this team is in shitty form.  You may not know this, but these players have lost their last six Games at home.  Dafuq?

#-Infinity: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -2).  Well, it's mercifully over.  They hung tough in the season finale at home versus Wisconsin on Sunday night, but finally gave way, 71-67.  They, as the 14th and last seed in the B1G Men's Baseball Tournament, surprised 11th-Seeded Nebraska Wednesday, 78-75, but no miracle run through the tourney for the Goofers as they got stopped by Maryland in the next night, 70-54.

Admittedly, they've been better the past couple Weeks.  But, well, so what?  I'm scared that that form of, uh, not shitty play is being overhyped by deluded fans into a thinking of, "See, it's gonna be so much better next year!"  And you don't know that.  There were more Weeks before these past two Weeks.  This group had all the time in the world to improve, and they didn't until sorta the end.  I think there are a bunch of people who are so desperately want to see this program not suck that they'll pour all their hearts into finding anything remotely optimistic about this season.  Thus the talk we're hearing now.  Hey, I want Ben Johnson to succeed.  But it's still up to him to prove that he can turn things around.  And I'm sorry, but his seat should be warm once next season comes around.

Addendum To: Another Fucking Blizzard?!

And I now hear some forecasters are sticking to 3-6", and some are now saying 2-4".  I am hoping for the latter, obviously, and I'm hoping that the roads are going to be treated well enough that, at least when it comes to the highways, I will be driving on clean, or at least wet, roads.

The timing might be the worst part of this.  It now appears as though the bulk of the snow will appear in the afternoon.  When exactly I don't know, but I wish I did, because this alumni event will last a couple hours from the early to mid-afternoon.  Because I am also going to the MNUFC Match this evening, I really do not want to use my main car to make two trips.  I am crossing my fingers that my parents' minivan can make the 27-mile journey to a place I haven't ever been before for our alumni event, especially if snow starts on my way back.

I renew how tired and done I am with all this snow.

Another Fucking Blizzard?!

I know I sound like a broken record, especially since I blog posted about this a couple days ago.  But there is supposed to be another fucking snowstorm that comes in tomorrow/Saturday.  Yeah, forget this previous "blizzard"; the meteorologists saw that it was tracking south, so what was initially 7-10" got really ratcheted down to 2-5", and frankly, so much of it melted on contact with the ground that I don't see a whole lot of accumulating of snow anywhere.

With that being said, that might not be the case here.  It's being described as a clipper system, and to me, those systems race through the area and dump no more than a couple inches.  But the forecast I just saw (a second time; the 10 p.m. telecast gets repeated at 12:37 a.m.) predicts 3-6", and although we've had more in storms past, this still feels like a lot.  Moreover, this blizzard comes tomorrow/Saturday morning and lasts all day.  I have an alumni event in the morning, way far from where I live, and there's the MNUFC home opener that evening.  If this goddamn snowstorm is as bad as it could be, I'm not sure if I'll be able to do either.

This fucking snow fucking sucks.

My Lucky Break Of Good Fortune

So I was going to bitch and feel sorry for myself.  The volunteer event I organized for this weekend just closed registration.  I reserved 20 spots, but they are never fully filled, so I got stray e-mails from a couple who didn't register and told them no worries, they'll get in.

I got the list this morning and, by God, they're all filled.  Never happened before.  That's a good thing ... until I remembered that I promised people spots that they don't necessarily have.

Well, if worse comes to worst, I could e-mail the site and ask if they can squeeze in a couple more people.  Or, I could sit this one out.  Or, I could look and see if more spots are available.  Did that at work and picked up one spot.  And miraculously, I checked just now and there were another five spots that became available.  Not only did everyone who asked for a spot now have one, I now have three extra.

I've been thinking for several days of making a tag called "good fortune."  I need to be more grateful in my life.  It's about time I introduce the tag.

Of Course Two Things Have To Happen At The Same Time

Tomorrow/Thursday night two events are happening at the same time, both of which I want to go to: A First Round NCAA Women's Hockey Tournament Game between Minnesota-Duluth and Clarkson, and a rally and concert only for Minnesota United FC season-ticketholders at First Avenue.  I want to go to both.  Alas, they're happening pretty much at the same time in the evening.

I'm still thinking about which one to go to, but right now, I'm leaning toward the First Ave. event.  I love sports, and I especially love Games between teams I am not emotionally invested in.  Tournament Games, where the stakes are at its highest?  Even better.  But that First Ave. concert/rally is intended for STHs like me, even if I will have to pay $25 to attend.  There will probably be fees, too.  And I looked at the price of a ticket for the Bulldogs-Golden Knights Game; it's five bucks, so even with fees it'll be, what, $15 less?  Less than half the price?  OK, I'm still thinking, I guess.

By the way, the tournament wasn't going to be set up with matchups and times until Sunday, and I, in fact, assumed that the First Round Game, the winner of which was going to face Minnesota on Saturday, was going to be on Friday.  Either they changed it this Year or, well, I didn't realize the NCAA changed the format so that tournament Games would be space a Day apart.  So when I saw that the Game was going to be tomorrow/Thursday and thus create a conflict, I think I muttered, "Ah, shit" to myself.

Actually, there is a third thing that was happening around the same time.  I scheduled a massage tomorrow evening.  When I reserved a spot, either I didn't know there was going to be a rally and concert that same night until I got an e-mail from MNUFC or I didn't realize it was the same evening.  That the Game was the same night was just a further annoyance.

I think I'll hope to move up the massage.  If not, I'll have to cancel.  And, also by the way, up to yesterday I didn't think I would be doing any of these events because there apparently was supposed to be a huge blizzard coming tomorrow and Friday.  But what initially was supposed to dump 7-10" was ratcheted down to 2-5".  And since the temperature is supposed to be above freezing till part of tomorrow evening, I think a lot of the snow will melt on contact.  I am going to go out and do something.  What, I don't know.  But I will do something.

Another Blog Post Just In Time

Uh ... I'll just say that as I get older, it's harder (heh-heh) to get up.  Sometimes I wonder if, like Green Day alluded to in "Longview," masturbation can lose its fun.

Another Fucking Blizzard?!?!?!

So glad I remembered I still have to blog post for the day.  Perfect opportunity to bitch about yet another goddamn snowstorm that's supposed to hit us later this week.  Probably not as bad as the last one, but still pretty fucking bad -- seven-to-ten inches are the early estimates.  There's been enough of this white bullshit for 20 winters now.  Besides, it's not Christmas anymore.  Cut this fucking shit out, Old Man Winter.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  Congratulations to the second-seeded University of Minnesota women's hockey team, who beat third-seeded Wisconsin and then, shockingly, top-seeded Ohio St. to win the WCHA Final Faceoff (played, as always, at Ridder Arena) and clinch the conference's automatic pick for the first time in five Years.  My only gripe is that this is a conference tournament, and all the favorites made their way to Dinkytown.  Maybe fourth-seeded Minnesota-Duluth had something to play for, but the other three teams definitely are going to make the NCAA Tournament.  What I'm saying is that neither the Gophers nor the Buckeyes really needed to win yesterday/Saturday afternoon's title tilt, so I kind of question Ohio St.'s motivation.  Now, if this were the NCAA championship Game, we would see a different Ohio St. than the one that was on the ice.

The sport's selection show is this afternoon at 11.  The sport relies on the PairWise to include teams and principles similar to the ones for men's hockey to construct the bracket.  The only bracketology I have seen so far for women's college hockey on the Internet is Matt Wellens, reporter for the Duluth News Tribune, but even he admits that this Year's bracket is pretty much cut-and-dried.  Wellens thinks the Gophers will host the winner of the Bulldogs and Clarkson at Ridder next weekend.  Regardless of how the bracket is set up, this is the Gophers' level of competition, finally.  Let's see if they can turn this really good season into a championship one.

#0: Wild (Last Week: -2).  I and many fans buried this team, oh, three Weeks ago.  But they ran through a very busy screening Week running the table, 4-0, beating the Blue Jackets and Islanders at home, then Vancouver and Calgary on the road, and so they have surged into second in the Central Division, just three Points behind The Bastard North Stars.  And Bill Guerin has responded in kind by ... not sacrificing good draft picks or the organization's many prospects in finding role players for the stretch run.  Oh, and they gave up on the Big Rig, Jordan Greenway, shuffled off the Buffalo.

Can they keep this really good fortune up?  They finish up their home and home with The Bastard Atlanta Flames Tuesday at the X, then embark on a four-Game road trip with visits to Winnipeg and San Jose.

#-1: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  They began a very important, very scary four-Game California trip with a five-Point Loss to Golden State.  But they have toughened up and turned it around, beating the Clippers by seven, The Team That Was Stolen From Us v.1.0 by eight, and Sacramento by four.  I am impressed by the last three Wins all coming by single digits.  As such, they now sit in seventh in the West, statistically tied with Dallas for sixth, even though fourth and 13th in the Western Conference are separated only by 5 1/2 Games.

Light screening Week: Philadelphia Tuesday and The Bastard New York Nets Friday, both at home.

#-2: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -Infinity).  In their only Match of the screening Week, they snapped a losing streak of 12 Games by coming back from a 10-Point deficit in the last 75 Seconds to defeat Rutgers, 75-74.  Jamison Battle sank three Three-Pointers in that span, the last of which was drained at the buzzer.  It was dramatic, but considering this was only their second Win in Big Ten play and they probably still will finish last in the conference, the ecstasy fulminating (from both the stands and certain areas of the media) in beating a tournament team at the gun was way over-the-top.  It's still an execrable season, so that's why they're below two clubs that lost over the Week.

They finish up the regular season tonight/Sunday night at The Barn versus Wisconsin (apparently they will not make up their road date vs. Michigan St.), then play out the string in Chicago for the B1G tourney.

#-3: Gopher softball (Last Week: -3).  Got absolutely battered by Baylor Invitational host (and ranked) Baylor, 15-2 in five Innings, then won over ranked Oregon, got shut out by ranked LSU, and defeated host (and Receiving Votes) Cal State-Fullerton, the last three of which is part of the Judi Garman Classic.  They finish up the tournament today against Seattle and Loyola Marymount, take a trip down to San Diego St. (also Receiving Votes) Tuesday, then host the Gopher Indoor Classic at U. S. Bank Stadium where they will play (among others) North Dakota St., Central Michigan, and Idaho St.

#-4: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -7).  They're trying.  God, they're trying.  But they are now 0-10 to start the season.  Saint Louis finished a sweep of the Goofs in Ft. Myers last Sunday, 16-9, got shut out by Wisconsin-Milwaukee at Ooos Bahnk on Wednesday, 3-0, then have dropped their first two Games of the Cambria College Classic at Ooos Bahnk, although they were close.  They just got pipped Friday night by Hawai'i, 3-2, then took a mid-Inning lead on fourth-ranked and defending College World Series champion Ole Miss before losing, 9-7.  Like I said above, I wish I could say more, and maybe I will when I don't have to work in the morning.

They finish up their tournament tonight/Sunday night against seventh-ranked Vanderbilt, play back-to-back home Games against Northern Illinois and South Dakota St. mid-Week, then begin a three-Game series at West Virginia over the weekend.

#-5: Whitecaps: (Last Week: -6).  What the fuck is happening to the Whitecraps?  A 7-1 home ass-kicking by Toronto Sunday (which completed a two-Game sweep) followed by a two-Game sweep at league-leading Boston this weekend has pushed this squad's losing streak to six Games (which, by the way, mirrors the six-Game winning streak that preceeded it).  And they have now slipped behind Connecticut and into fourth place.  And I thought these folks got their shit together.

And would you look at this: The regular season ends Saturday and Sunday with a home series against the Whale.

#-Infinity: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -5).  I really, really want to say more about this program.  Their regular season finale was a Senior Day, eight-Point victory over Purdue where I know the Boilermakers didn't care to play.  That got the U. the 12 Seed going into the Big Ten Women's Tournament being played at Target Center, about three miles away, but in the first Game of the tournament they were nominally hosting, they were the first team ushered out of the tournament, a 72-67 upset by 13th-seeded Penn St. where the Gophers continued to turn the ball over and play no defense.

That cost Lindsay Whalen her job as Head Coach, no matter how much Athletic Director Mark Coyle said this was a "mutual decision."  And I realize that to do this news justice is to blog post about it in a future WMNSS or possibly (probably?) in another blog post altogether.