My evaluation in filing led my supervisor to have me retrain at this specific position. Thought it would end today, but apparently I need to do it tomorrow.
I could not hide my annoyance with being retrained. She told me I was working too slow. I thought I was being thorough, and I didn't want to double back. (I'm sorry I'm being skimpy with the details; I don't want people at work to know I'm talking about this.) I should have not let my temper and stubbornness get the better of me when she diplomatically offered a compromise: If I get faster with the work, maybe I can go back doing some of the things I had been doing. That's the trait of a leader, and I should have expressed better how ... OK I am with that.
But I didn't. Not like I was sassing her or anything; we moved over to The Third Department, where I really did need to be trained in how to do these new tasks the right way, and I'm sure I was more responsive with my attitude then. But still, I couldn't verbalize how frustrating I thought this retraining was. I know I wasn't being knuckled under, but I couldn't help but feel like that.
Why is that? Well, I have to go back to the times (I think I talked about this here in the past) I was in filing second shift and had the run of the place to myself in the evening. I literally and figuratively had no one looking over my shoulder, and that was freedom and bliss. And it didn't matter if I made a mistake, which I sure I make every time I work by myself. But I didn't care, because I felt like I was my own boss. And despite how, um, appropriate this re-training might be, I do not feel like I am my own boss. And I have realized that I really, really don't like feeling anything even close to that.
Maybe I'll manage a smile tomorrow. Well, through my mask, but you know what I mean.
I could not hide my annoyance with being retrained. She told me I was working too slow. I thought I was being thorough, and I didn't want to double back. (I'm sorry I'm being skimpy with the details; I don't want people at work to know I'm talking about this.) I should have not let my temper and stubbornness get the better of me when she diplomatically offered a compromise: If I get faster with the work, maybe I can go back doing some of the things I had been doing. That's the trait of a leader, and I should have expressed better how ... OK I am with that.
But I didn't. Not like I was sassing her or anything; we moved over to The Third Department, where I really did need to be trained in how to do these new tasks the right way, and I'm sure I was more responsive with my attitude then. But still, I couldn't verbalize how frustrating I thought this retraining was. I know I wasn't being knuckled under, but I couldn't help but feel like that.
Why is that? Well, I have to go back to the times (I think I talked about this here in the past) I was in filing second shift and had the run of the place to myself in the evening. I literally and figuratively had no one looking over my shoulder, and that was freedom and bliss. And it didn't matter if I made a mistake, which I sure I make every time I work by myself. But I didn't care, because I felt like I was my own boss. And despite how, um, appropriate this re-training might be, I do not feel like I am my own boss. And I have realized that I really, really don't like feeling anything even close to that.
Maybe I'll manage a smile tomorrow. Well, through my mask, but you know what I mean.
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