Am I Strong Enough? Do I Care Enough?

So this thing with the alumni club is continuing.  I don't know how effective we're being, but there are some signs that we are not losing, at least.  For one thing, we have been meeting every Sunday for the past several, and although we have lost people, there are still some people Zooming.  For another, there is a sign that we have momentum, which is something I'm scared would abate after we got the first few things we wanted to do off the ground.  The big thing happened last week: Finally, one of our contacts with the media has come through with a story about the dissolution, and concurrently though maybe not causally, they have tried to reach out to some of us ... first as part of a cover divide-and-conquer strategy, but now with an invitation to Zoom about our grievances.

With that, we are getting into the nuts and bolts of this issue -- which means involvement, and commitment.  And I have suddenly developed stage fright.  From this meeting are calls for volunteers to develop talking points, and volunteers to deliver those points if and when a meeting is made.  I wanted to pitch in -- show solidarity at the initial outrage, be part of the numbers as we started sending out petitions and letters, even giving opinions on tactics and mindsets.  But this is a whole nother level of sticking your neck out.  And I have heard (maybe not substantiated, but heard) that these guys have intimidated some people on our side to silence.

I don't want to be intimated, but ... I'm intimidated.  Not just by them, but the enormity of the whole issue.  And frankly, I don't know how invested and/or passionate I am about being on our side.  I mean, it's important.  But can I actually do some presentation and speak with authority when a part of me inside says, "Eh, I don't care if this goes one way or the other."?  I don't know . ...