Last night I had plans to leave work early. I had to. I have been told by my boss that I cannot have overtime, and I have left early Monday through Wednesday. And I had a phone call with my shrink scheduled after work, and I wanted to eat while talking to him, so I thought it was the perfect time for me to leave super early. If I left so early that I was below time, I could make up for that by staying a bit later on Friday.
Oh, but shit got ruined real quick. First, the department ended the afternoon with a favor by my other boss to try and finish up work before we went, and since I'm there the latest, the rest of this work fell to me. Then, while I was trying to finish up (knowing by then that I probably couldn't leave as early as I planned), my boss calls me into his office. Oh, shit, I thought. And I was right.
I wasn't being fired. I wasn't being reamed, either, although at times it felt like I was. I was being told what to expect while I'm being "re-trained," which has happened lately. I was reminded that they have my best interests at heart and want just for me to be the best worker I can be ... which is why they tell me that I can do something better. They reminded me that I am working in a department where everybody there has been there for years, so they know how to do things best. And if I had not been trained on something before, he advised me not to say, "Oh, I don't remember being trained on this," even though that's 100 fucking per cent true. (Plus, he said something about my satellite radio and how it takes for me to set it up. But with his permission I am going to just listen online and stop with the bullshit.)
So this had to have come out of two incidents -- both from a supervisor, the one I once thought highly of. The first one was my extreme annoyance being told I had to find these forms a different way, which I detailed here. The second incident happened Tuesday, and I still think it was sort-of innocent ... though apparently not.
I was out in My Main Department and the supervisor came up to me about this ... process. Again, I'm going to be vague about it so as 1) not to blow my cover (although I wonder if someone from work already knows about this and 2) I don't want to bore you with the details. So, I'm in filing, and sometimes we get faxed requests to get a certain form we need to find in filing. When we find it, we have to go into this program whereby we electronically note that we are sending this form along to a department (not necessarily the one that requested it, just the one that needs to take a look at it) before we physically go into that department and drop that form off there. Still with me?
In this screen in this program where we electronically note this form is being sent along, we have to fill out a few lines. One of them is a reason line. On the request form there is a reason a form is being requested. However, when I was trained, I was specifically -- specifically -- told that it was OK to put in a generic reason everything single time ... and what the fuck, I might as well say it: ACTION. I was told that that was OK, and I think -- I think -- the reason was that I needed to get these sent out quickly if I had many of these requests getting faxed in at once.
Because I am a stickler, I have actually looked at the request form, looked at the reason, and typed that reason on the screen. But only sometimes, because hey, sometimes I feel courteous and sometimes I ... don't. Besides, I WASN'T TRAINED TO DO THAT!!! So I told her this (I didn't shout it), and I thought it went well.
The meeting with my boss indicates to me, clearly, that it didn't. My boss called me into this 20-Minute meeting because either she asked him to do it or she told him about what I said and he thought it was enough to put down any fires that might be smoldering by calling me in. Either way, she told him about what I said and did. So that brings up a whole other rat's nest of shit I need to process. Because on the one hand, I totally think she blew the "I wasn't trained on this" comment way out of proportion. All I was doing was telling the truth and defending myself. For those reasons, this meeting was an overreaction. On the other hand, unfortunately, it is clear that my frustration over being told that I should do things a different got the better of me and did not go unnoticed. That is something I don't like in me, and even though this specific way I should do things is something I don't particularly like, I'm not going to fight it.
I had to end the meeting with my boss. I told him my frustrations with re-training and that I will try and do better (wanking motion). But my takeaway is that this supervisor has a problem with me. Not saying that it's not justified, but she has a problem with me. On top of that, today I'm working under her in her department. And worse than that, my boss told me that I had to tell her, first thing in the morning, that I have to leave a half-hour early to make sure I don't accrue overtime. (Really doesn't matter because she leaves three hours before I do.) I really don't want to speak with her because shit is now awkward. But my boss told me I had to.
So, in the morning, when I go into the department and look her in the freakin' eye, what am I going to say? How will I act as I say what I am going to say? And how will she take what I say and how I say it? I think I have to play this off as ain't no thing. But maybe I'll stick to my principles and go, "So you have a fuckin' problem with me?!?!?!" And then I'd be fired ... which might be the path I'm walking down now.
I'll sleep on it. Maybe I'll calm down by tomorrow. Or, maybe I won't.
In the meantime I should brush up on my resume.
Chris?
Oh, but shit got ruined real quick. First, the department ended the afternoon with a favor by my other boss to try and finish up work before we went, and since I'm there the latest, the rest of this work fell to me. Then, while I was trying to finish up (knowing by then that I probably couldn't leave as early as I planned), my boss calls me into his office. Oh, shit, I thought. And I was right.
I wasn't being fired. I wasn't being reamed, either, although at times it felt like I was. I was being told what to expect while I'm being "re-trained," which has happened lately. I was reminded that they have my best interests at heart and want just for me to be the best worker I can be ... which is why they tell me that I can do something better. They reminded me that I am working in a department where everybody there has been there for years, so they know how to do things best. And if I had not been trained on something before, he advised me not to say, "Oh, I don't remember being trained on this," even though that's 100 fucking per cent true. (Plus, he said something about my satellite radio and how it takes for me to set it up. But with his permission I am going to just listen online and stop with the bullshit.)
So this had to have come out of two incidents -- both from a supervisor, the one I once thought highly of. The first one was my extreme annoyance being told I had to find these forms a different way, which I detailed here. The second incident happened Tuesday, and I still think it was sort-of innocent ... though apparently not.
I was out in My Main Department and the supervisor came up to me about this ... process. Again, I'm going to be vague about it so as 1) not to blow my cover (although I wonder if someone from work already knows about this and 2) I don't want to bore you with the details. So, I'm in filing, and sometimes we get faxed requests to get a certain form we need to find in filing. When we find it, we have to go into this program whereby we electronically note that we are sending this form along to a department (not necessarily the one that requested it, just the one that needs to take a look at it) before we physically go into that department and drop that form off there. Still with me?
In this screen in this program where we electronically note this form is being sent along, we have to fill out a few lines. One of them is a reason line. On the request form there is a reason a form is being requested. However, when I was trained, I was specifically -- specifically -- told that it was OK to put in a generic reason everything single time ... and what the fuck, I might as well say it: ACTION. I was told that that was OK, and I think -- I think -- the reason was that I needed to get these sent out quickly if I had many of these requests getting faxed in at once.
Because I am a stickler, I have actually looked at the request form, looked at the reason, and typed that reason on the screen. But only sometimes, because hey, sometimes I feel courteous and sometimes I ... don't. Besides, I WASN'T TRAINED TO DO THAT!!! So I told her this (I didn't shout it), and I thought it went well.
The meeting with my boss indicates to me, clearly, that it didn't. My boss called me into this 20-Minute meeting because either she asked him to do it or she told him about what I said and he thought it was enough to put down any fires that might be smoldering by calling me in. Either way, she told him about what I said and did. So that brings up a whole other rat's nest of shit I need to process. Because on the one hand, I totally think she blew the "I wasn't trained on this" comment way out of proportion. All I was doing was telling the truth and defending myself. For those reasons, this meeting was an overreaction. On the other hand, unfortunately, it is clear that my frustration over being told that I should do things a different got the better of me and did not go unnoticed. That is something I don't like in me, and even though this specific way I should do things is something I don't particularly like, I'm not going to fight it.
I had to end the meeting with my boss. I told him my frustrations with re-training and that I will try and do better (wanking motion). But my takeaway is that this supervisor has a problem with me. Not saying that it's not justified, but she has a problem with me. On top of that, today I'm working under her in her department. And worse than that, my boss told me that I had to tell her, first thing in the morning, that I have to leave a half-hour early to make sure I don't accrue overtime. (Really doesn't matter because she leaves three hours before I do.) I really don't want to speak with her because shit is now awkward. But my boss told me I had to.
So, in the morning, when I go into the department and look her in the freakin' eye, what am I going to say? How will I act as I say what I am going to say? And how will she take what I say and how I say it? I think I have to play this off as ain't no thing. But maybe I'll stick to my principles and go, "So you have a fuckin' problem with me?!?!?!" And then I'd be fired ... which might be the path I'm walking down now.
I'll sleep on it. Maybe I'll calm down by tomorrow. Or, maybe I won't.
In the meantime I should brush up on my resume.
Chris?
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