OK, I don't know what the fuck happened at work today. He barrels in right before noon and says that we have to go through every single packet we've done because we need to change the codes on some of them. And then he comes to me and points out that the code I put down is wrong, the implication being that I'm the reason why we have to go through the mess of looking at everything. Was it wrong? Fuck if I know.
Good thing doing all of that took only a couple hours, but it's not done. Afterward he comes up to me and says ... no, accuses me of not looking through all the packets, like he told me to do, like I said I would. And I just stood there, saying nothing. That probably makes me guilty, and I admit that I am. But goddammit, I didn't look through all the envelopes because I was busy -- busy with the shit he asked me to do, like train the other girl for this special invoice, or put memos on other invoices. I kind of get sidetracked, you know? But hey, my dumbfounded silence meant that I was guilty.
I'm getting fired on Friday. I just know it.
He hasn't come down on me this hard, ever. He has accused me of things; hell, he did it two days ago. But the stuff he acted as if it was my fault piled one on top of the other through this bullshit mess. (He also accused me of not getting through some of the packets on time; again, that's true, but that's because I've had more pressing fuckin' things to do!) Moreover, he is talking to The Two (and before I go on, maybe I was a bit ... harsh [I won't say I'm wrong about them, yet] assessing them as malcontent know-it-alls who want to insult me behind my back; I've talked to them more in the past 72 hours than I have the entire project) more than I've ever seen. The guy is now working closer to him. More worrisome, my boss is speaking to her as if she is my equal. He knows she knows insurance, so it seems as if he's relying on her more. In fact, come to think of it, he is giving The Two more responsibilities ... and not giving me anything but blame.
One other sign I realized tonight, while I skipped coming home to watch a rerun of It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown because my friend hooked me up with a ticket to the Timberwolves' home opener Thursday: Tomorrow, Halloween, is the last workday of the month. My former boss, many of whose responsibilities I assumed this year, was let go the last workday of January. And I remember that I was shitcanned from Xcel Energy on the last workday on a December (which would also make it the last workday of that year).
This is setting up so perfectly for him, isn't it? They're cheaper, and it's obvious he likes them more. Plus they're "his guys," while I'm his former employee's guy, and thus damaged goods, as he apparently has concluded all throughout this project, where I was thrown into an entirely new situation and am bombarded with questions and problems and have had to prioritize some things over others and he doesn't like it and therefore isn't happy with me. Or I guess he isn't happy with me; most days when he's complaining I don't understand a single goddamn thing he's talking about, and he's asking questions I have no fucking idea how to answer. Seriously, today he's just talking about this problem that materialized out of thin air, and I'm like, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?!?!" But it doesn't matter to him, because he's my boss, and what he says goes.
I'm doing my best, but I got a ton of fucking things that I'm trying to do, all at the same time, and it looks like I'm going to be fired for it. Well, then, fuck all. I've taken bullets for him, and this is the thanks I get?
Friday, October 31, 2014
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Want To Write About A Nice Guy
Yeah, this was several months ago -- May, in fact, I think. I was a test scorer, moonlighting at night from my job as a lead with the other test scoring company I worked for during the day. The rows were set up so that eight people were in three tables on each row, four in the middle, two on each side of the room. I had the "aisle" seat on the right table, next to this guy.
He was a plain man, quiet, wore glasses. Kept to himself, which was OK, because I was so tired that I did the same. We didn't speak much in the beginning, but going through the project we started asking each other for advice and commiserating about all the papers we had blown. What struck me about him was his unseeming, humble personality. He was struggling to get through the answers like me, like all of us, and he was really nice. For a fellow test scorer with who I was going to sit for two weeks at the most, that's all you can ask for. In fact, I probably would not like him if we spoke more or more in-depth.
His name is Michael, and he's good people. Maybe I'll see him again.
He was a plain man, quiet, wore glasses. Kept to himself, which was OK, because I was so tired that I did the same. We didn't speak much in the beginning, but going through the project we started asking each other for advice and commiserating about all the papers we had blown. What struck me about him was his unseeming, humble personality. He was struggling to get through the answers like me, like all of us, and he was really nice. For a fellow test scorer with who I was going to sit for two weeks at the most, that's all you can ask for. In fact, I probably would not like him if we spoke more or more in-depth.
His name is Michael, and he's good people. Maybe I'll see him again.
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
#-1: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -3). It was a very good screening week for the survey. The top five teams went undefeated. So, who to pick number one and how to order?
In the end, my top criteria (and I may have used this before) was impact. In other words, how did the win(s) affect the team and its season? The hockey teams are great, but their years have just started. I'm giving the Vikings a mulligan on the entire season because they have a rookie Head Coach. And the University of Minnesota volleyball squad will not be able to save their sorry season no matter what they do from this point on. The U. footie players were on their way to that abyss of irrelevance, but a pair of clutch wins at home against the two new members of the B1G, Maryland and Rutgers, have revived their tournament hopes.
I went to both games, the last two games at Robbie Stadium. In a game that featured several great saves by both goaltenders (aside: I neglected to note in the WMNSS after that particular game that I saw several fantastic saves by both netminders in the Gophers' tie against Ohio St.), the Gophers finally put the biscuit in the basket. In the 84th minute Katie Thyken somehow ran down the middle towards the Terrapins' goal unmarked. Olivia Schultz found her, and Thyken slipped it into the left post for the only score of the match. Then, on Sunday afternoon (I was debating whether or not to just stay home; I caved into my wanderlust) I enjoyed both a bucolic setting amidst the last of the turning leaves at Robbie Stadium and a 2-0 upset of the then-16th-ranked Scarlet Knights. Both goals (in the 33rd and 62nd minute) were scored by Josee Stiever off of corner kicks with assists by Ashley Pafko. The first one, I believe, was a header that bounced off the ground; the second came from a high kick (so high that the leg was straight-up perpendicular to Stiever's body) with her back to the goal. Moreover, the Gophers seemed to control the game from jump. And don't forget that Goalkeeper Tarah Hobbs turned in a pair of clean sheets.
Because of that, the Gophers have gone 4-1-1 in their last six games, meaning that women's soccer blog All White Kit gives the U. a faint (though much better than before) chance of reaching the NCAA Tournament. However, AWK advises the Gophs to continue their hot streak. They finish the regular season Halloween night at Northwestern; the Big Ten Conference soccer tournament begins this time next week.
#-2: Vikings (Last Week: -4). Again, the 19-13 overtime victory at Tampa Bay does not make them a Super Bowl contender. But boy, after choking away the lead last week in Buffalo, they needed this to prove to themselves they belong in the NFL. They're still one of the worst teams in the league, but they at least are better than Tampa Bay, which on Tuesday traded two players before the league trading deadline as they rebuild for the future.
The sensation after the game appears to be the Vikes' first round pick in this year's draft, Anthony Barr. Some thought the club was reaching for the UCLA Linebacker, but on Sunday he apparently (I say apparently because, remember, I was at the Minnesota women's soccer game) was all over the place. And he stripped the ball on the second play in OT from Wide Receiver Austin Safarian-Jenkins, picked it up and ran it back all the way to score the touchdown and end the game. I still think back to the second game of the season, where New England just picked the defense apart. But as the education of Teddy Bridgewater continues, it's the D that has improved before the O -- maybe. We'll see how they fare this Sunday against Washington, a game I expect to work.
#-3: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: 0). Both Minnesota hockey teams swept games at home by scoring ten goals over the weekend, and for the second straight week the maroon-and-goal "M" stands abreast astride College Hockey Nation as the #1 team in men's and women's college hockey and getting every single first-place vote. So why are the ladies above the men? Because they had a better combined margin of victory, destroying North Dakota at Ridder Arena by scores of 5-2 and 5-0. Hannah Brandt is this week's WCHA Offensive, and Milica McMillen this week's WCHA Defensive, Players Of The Week. They play Bemidji St. at home for a pair this weekend.
#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Re-Entry!). Meanwhile, the U. male icers beat Bemidji St. by scores of 5-2 and 5-3. Travis Boyd is this week's B1G First Star Of The Week for scoring the go-ahead goals in both victories over the Beavers on his way to a four-point (three goals and an assist) weekend. They have a home-and-home series against St. Cloud St. this weekend; there on Friday, here on Saturday.
#-5: Wild (Last Week: -2). This could have been one hell of a week for the Wild, maybe the best they've ever had ... except for that goddamn loss to the Rangers at Madison Square Garden Monday. I was staying out after work Monday because I had to return some shaving gel that I was being paid to try and shave with as part of a marketing research project, and I was listening to the Mild game while going home. Last time I heard it was 2-0 Minnesota. But somehow New York came back to win, 5-4. By the time I shut off the game five players left the ice -- three of them Wild players due to injury incurred from cheap shots, the other two Rangers players thrown out of the game because they were the source of said cheap shots. If it was the Rangers' plan to play dirty in order to win, well, it seemed to work.
But they won the other three games of the week, capped by Tuesday's very impressive 4-3 win over Boston in Boston. They also blanked the Arizona Coyotes 2-0 and blitzed the Tampa Bay Lightning 7-2 in games at home. The team's sudden copious scoring output continues to be impressive, and may be the surest sign yet that the team's young guns are getting a lot better and are starting to gel as a group. This screening week's games are all at home: San Jose, The Bastard North Stars, Pittsburgh.
#-6: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -5). The team swept Iowa Saturday. This means that technically this club went 1-0 in our survey. But the AVCA Top 25 takes into account games from a Monday-Sunday cycle, and so that would include that embarrassing loss at the Sports Pavilion to Nebraska when the Goofs led the Huskers two sets to none. Because of that, they have dropped out of the poll for the first time in ... well, as long as I've been bitching about this squad I said "in my lifetime," but in truth it's the first time in a little over seven years. That's what happens when you lose three in a row to two powerful teams.
It won't get any better for this godforsaken team: They have a four-game road trip staring in their faces, beginning with a trip to the state of Indiana this weekend (Hoosiers Wednesday, Purdue Saturday).
#-7: Gopher football (Last Week: -1). As speculation grows that Head Coaching vacancies in Michigan and Florida are imminent, there has been talk that a program builder such as Jerry Kill would be a candidate to either powerful, proud program. In his press conference before the game Saturday at Illinois, Kill put a realistic kibosh on that hypothetical: "If we don't win against Illinois, I might get a one-way bus ticket out of Minnesota." (I'm paraphrasing; I don't have his exact quote in front of me.)
It's not that bad, but Kill is right to know beforehand to boo-hoo any possibility he could be moving up. Not after failing to capitalize on their nascent lead in the Big Ten West Division. This was a team undefeated in conference play losing to a team winless in conference play. These are games you're supposed to win. The Gophers don't have to be Michigan St. good to beat the Fighting Illini in Illinois, just good. But the Goofs just couldn't shake an inspired team trying to defend their stadium for Homecoming (was it Illinois' Homecoming game?). They jumped out to a quick 14-0 lead after one quarter and led 14-3 at halftime.
The Gophers stormed back with 21 points in the third and managed to take a 24-21 lead. But in the fourth quarter Minnesota Running Back David Cobb, who ran for 118 yards and two touchdowns and has been the Most Valuable Player on the team all season, had a fatal strip of the ball on a carry by Illinois Linebacker T.J. Neal at the Gopher 14. Cornerback V'Angelo Bentley scooped it up and took it back for the game-winning TD and the 28-24 win.
This is the flipside to the top of the Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey. The Minnesota football club is at the bottom of this survey also because of impact. This was a team that looked really good, and even though they faced one hell of a month to end the schedule, they seemed capable of making hay against the soft part of their schedule. Illinois appeared to be the seventh win. With this upset loss (and yes, I consider this to be an upset loss) the U. has squandered any good vibes they had generated from the student body, alums and casual fans from the area. It now appears that the losing streak we all feared will happen has started a week early, and since this squad is bad enough to lose to Illinois, it'll get crushed in their remaining four games. In other words, Heart of Texas Bowl, here we come! Again!
They are off this week. Next game is home to Iowa.
In the end, my top criteria (and I may have used this before) was impact. In other words, how did the win(s) affect the team and its season? The hockey teams are great, but their years have just started. I'm giving the Vikings a mulligan on the entire season because they have a rookie Head Coach. And the University of Minnesota volleyball squad will not be able to save their sorry season no matter what they do from this point on. The U. footie players were on their way to that abyss of irrelevance, but a pair of clutch wins at home against the two new members of the B1G, Maryland and Rutgers, have revived their tournament hopes.
I went to both games, the last two games at Robbie Stadium. In a game that featured several great saves by both goaltenders (aside: I neglected to note in the WMNSS after that particular game that I saw several fantastic saves by both netminders in the Gophers' tie against Ohio St.), the Gophers finally put the biscuit in the basket. In the 84th minute Katie Thyken somehow ran down the middle towards the Terrapins' goal unmarked. Olivia Schultz found her, and Thyken slipped it into the left post for the only score of the match. Then, on Sunday afternoon (I was debating whether or not to just stay home; I caved into my wanderlust) I enjoyed both a bucolic setting amidst the last of the turning leaves at Robbie Stadium and a 2-0 upset of the then-16th-ranked Scarlet Knights. Both goals (in the 33rd and 62nd minute) were scored by Josee Stiever off of corner kicks with assists by Ashley Pafko. The first one, I believe, was a header that bounced off the ground; the second came from a high kick (so high that the leg was straight-up perpendicular to Stiever's body) with her back to the goal. Moreover, the Gophers seemed to control the game from jump. And don't forget that Goalkeeper Tarah Hobbs turned in a pair of clean sheets.
Because of that, the Gophers have gone 4-1-1 in their last six games, meaning that women's soccer blog All White Kit gives the U. a faint (though much better than before) chance of reaching the NCAA Tournament. However, AWK advises the Gophs to continue their hot streak. They finish the regular season Halloween night at Northwestern; the Big Ten Conference soccer tournament begins this time next week.
#-2: Vikings (Last Week: -4). Again, the 19-13 overtime victory at Tampa Bay does not make them a Super Bowl contender. But boy, after choking away the lead last week in Buffalo, they needed this to prove to themselves they belong in the NFL. They're still one of the worst teams in the league, but they at least are better than Tampa Bay, which on Tuesday traded two players before the league trading deadline as they rebuild for the future.
The sensation after the game appears to be the Vikes' first round pick in this year's draft, Anthony Barr. Some thought the club was reaching for the UCLA Linebacker, but on Sunday he apparently (I say apparently because, remember, I was at the Minnesota women's soccer game) was all over the place. And he stripped the ball on the second play in OT from Wide Receiver Austin Safarian-Jenkins, picked it up and ran it back all the way to score the touchdown and end the game. I still think back to the second game of the season, where New England just picked the defense apart. But as the education of Teddy Bridgewater continues, it's the D that has improved before the O -- maybe. We'll see how they fare this Sunday against Washington, a game I expect to work.
#-3: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: 0). Both Minnesota hockey teams swept games at home by scoring ten goals over the weekend, and for the second straight week the maroon-and-goal "M" stands abreast astride College Hockey Nation as the #1 team in men's and women's college hockey and getting every single first-place vote. So why are the ladies above the men? Because they had a better combined margin of victory, destroying North Dakota at Ridder Arena by scores of 5-2 and 5-0. Hannah Brandt is this week's WCHA Offensive, and Milica McMillen this week's WCHA Defensive, Players Of The Week. They play Bemidji St. at home for a pair this weekend.
#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Re-Entry!). Meanwhile, the U. male icers beat Bemidji St. by scores of 5-2 and 5-3. Travis Boyd is this week's B1G First Star Of The Week for scoring the go-ahead goals in both victories over the Beavers on his way to a four-point (three goals and an assist) weekend. They have a home-and-home series against St. Cloud St. this weekend; there on Friday, here on Saturday.
#-5: Wild (Last Week: -2). This could have been one hell of a week for the Wild, maybe the best they've ever had ... except for that goddamn loss to the Rangers at Madison Square Garden Monday. I was staying out after work Monday because I had to return some shaving gel that I was being paid to try and shave with as part of a marketing research project, and I was listening to the Mild game while going home. Last time I heard it was 2-0 Minnesota. But somehow New York came back to win, 5-4. By the time I shut off the game five players left the ice -- three of them Wild players due to injury incurred from cheap shots, the other two Rangers players thrown out of the game because they were the source of said cheap shots. If it was the Rangers' plan to play dirty in order to win, well, it seemed to work.
But they won the other three games of the week, capped by Tuesday's very impressive 4-3 win over Boston in Boston. They also blanked the Arizona Coyotes 2-0 and blitzed the Tampa Bay Lightning 7-2 in games at home. The team's sudden copious scoring output continues to be impressive, and may be the surest sign yet that the team's young guns are getting a lot better and are starting to gel as a group. This screening week's games are all at home: San Jose, The Bastard North Stars, Pittsburgh.
It won't get any better for this godforsaken team: They have a four-game road trip staring in their faces, beginning with a trip to the state of Indiana this weekend (Hoosiers Wednesday, Purdue Saturday).
#-7: Gopher football (Last Week: -1). As speculation grows that Head Coaching vacancies in Michigan and Florida are imminent, there has been talk that a program builder such as Jerry Kill would be a candidate to either powerful, proud program. In his press conference before the game Saturday at Illinois, Kill put a realistic kibosh on that hypothetical: "If we don't win against Illinois, I might get a one-way bus ticket out of Minnesota." (I'm paraphrasing; I don't have his exact quote in front of me.)
It's not that bad, but Kill is right to know beforehand to boo-hoo any possibility he could be moving up. Not after failing to capitalize on their nascent lead in the Big Ten West Division. This was a team undefeated in conference play losing to a team winless in conference play. These are games you're supposed to win. The Gophers don't have to be Michigan St. good to beat the Fighting Illini in Illinois, just good. But the Goofs just couldn't shake an inspired team trying to defend their stadium for Homecoming (was it Illinois' Homecoming game?). They jumped out to a quick 14-0 lead after one quarter and led 14-3 at halftime.
The Gophers stormed back with 21 points in the third and managed to take a 24-21 lead. But in the fourth quarter Minnesota Running Back David Cobb, who ran for 118 yards and two touchdowns and has been the Most Valuable Player on the team all season, had a fatal strip of the ball on a carry by Illinois Linebacker T.J. Neal at the Gopher 14. Cornerback V'Angelo Bentley scooped it up and took it back for the game-winning TD and the 28-24 win.
This is the flipside to the top of the Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey. The Minnesota football club is at the bottom of this survey also because of impact. This was a team that looked really good, and even though they faced one hell of a month to end the schedule, they seemed capable of making hay against the soft part of their schedule. Illinois appeared to be the seventh win. With this upset loss (and yes, I consider this to be an upset loss) the U. has squandered any good vibes they had generated from the student body, alums and casual fans from the area. It now appears that the losing streak we all feared will happen has started a week early, and since this squad is bad enough to lose to Illinois, it'll get crushed in their remaining four games. In other words, Heart of Texas Bowl, here we come! Again!
They are off this week. Next game is home to Iowa.
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Before You Accuse Me, Dumbass ...
... know what the fuck you're talking about. The boss calls me from my job to look at something. I have no idea what it is, but he gives me these accusing eyes. Meanwhile one of The Two Assholes says I touched something of it, even though the part I touched has nothing to do with what my boss is talking about.
So once he surmises he has gathered all the evidence against me, a co-worker said that somebody else did it. "Oh!" he finally realized, "See what I did there? I falsely accused him of doing something he didn't do!" You fucking goddamn right you did, you stupid fuck!!! What the hell are you talking about??? I still don't fucking know.
So in the meantime another of the temps does this job that has something to do with these envelopes he thought I fucked with. I really didn't need to be there, but my boss asked me to look over her shoulder. Meanwhile she's typing like a chicken with its head cut off, and I realize too late that she made a mistake (that's what happens when your boss tries to call you out in front of the people who are supposed to be working under you; you get disoriented). I point it out and she says, "Welp, that would've been nice to know beforehand." And welp, I guess you're on my shitlist now, too, along with The other Two Assholes.
Now none of these people respect me. What the fuck happened? Today was a good day, and it went into the shitter like that rocket tonight:
And the thing is I still don't know how pissed I should be. On the one hand I'm extremely angry he tried to pull shit like that. On the other he admitted in front of everyone that he was wrong. What the fuck am I supposed to do? A part of me wants to scream, throw things at him and tell him, "Don't you ever do that to me ever again!!!" first thing in the morning. How the fuck am I supposed to feel after that bullshit?
Will She Not Touch Me Anymore?
***e*, my ATF and truly the only stripper/woman who does my cock on the regular, came over last week, not to clean the house (there's so much stuff around I wouldn't know where for her to begin) but to give me a handjob. I was taking a shit when the doorbell rang, so I answered the door with no pants on; she promptly started squeezing my dick, and after we got situated up in my old room, eventually I came all over her body.
Arranging the meeting was something weird all to itself. I hadn't texted her in a while, then she texted me that she was in her native Milwaukee. A little later, because of the stress at work, I decided to have her come over for a little sexy time, and I said as much. Nothing out of the ordinary; that's how we usually talk, all perverted and shit.
But then she started asking me what kind of stuff I wanted her to do to me. That's odd; she's stroked my cock, like, a dozen times by now. She knows what I'm talking about; she was there, you know. Moreover, she wasn't her usually flirty self, playfully beating back all my horny messages. I had no idea what was going on, but something was ... off, and I didn't like it, so I just ended our communication after realizing this.
***e* confirmed my suspicions, and yet at the same time pierced my heart. I wasn't texting with ***e* when I reserved time with her; I was texting with her boyfriend. She told me about this guy. ***e* said they weren't all that serious and they broke up when he went out-of-state to look for work. But he came back and now they're, uh, sort-of together. She said that things won't change and I can get my dick wanked from her whenever I want. But then a day later, out of the blue, she texted me saying she doesn't do dances anymore and she got a straight job, but she would love to clean my house on the weekend. What I wonder is whether she meant all of that figuratively -- she "doesn't do dances anymore" but would love to "clean my house on the weekend" -- or literally. But I also thought of another thing: That also wasn't her but her man posing as her so I wouldn't arrange more handjobs again. I really don't know, but I can't run the risk of contacting ***e* because it looks as if she's allowing this boyfriend access to her phone. And if he has that, I'm not sure I can securely talk to her via Facebook without him knowing, either.
So, this brings up two very important revelations going forward. First of all, this boyfriend now knows who I am, my relationship with ***e* and, most importantly, has my phone number. With him now the love of her life I have become The Backdoor Man, to use Robert Plant's line on "Whole Lotta Love," and it appears as if he doesn't like that. The good side is he hasn't contacted me, let alone threatened me, yet. The bad side is I don't want to just let her go because she's the only dependable woman in my life who touches my pee-pee. Getting my sexual healing from her means going through him, and I'm not sure if that's possible or safe.
But that might pale in comparison to another problem: What if ***e* doesn't want to touch my pee-pee anymore because she's got a man? She said when she was at my house that she can fool around so long as she's not married. But I guess I don't completely buy that. What if it was her texting that she can't "dance" and she will only "clean my house" on weekends? What if she's hung up her wrists for good?
That is ... terrifying. And not just because I have virtually no one else who'll give me a handie. It may be pathetic, but she is the closest woman in my life -- even after taking into account the predominantly sexual nature of our relationship, she may be closer to me than Mother or my sister. I don't want to lose her. It's not as if I was trying to woo her, or be her girlfriend, but -- well, I admit that I have had dreams from time to time that we could be more than just the relationship we have, where she jerks me off and I give her money. I was hoping I could ... "know" her for a long time, even for the rest of my life. And who knows, maybe it could turn into something more than it is now. I would welcome that. But her having a boyfriend, a true boyfriend, alters that, possibly for good. If she's found someone to the point where she will no longer keep up our current arrangement ... well, she may think of this as a monetary transaction, but I hope not. It definitely isn't to me. However, if that's the case, then I would not know what to do to myself.
Arranging the meeting was something weird all to itself. I hadn't texted her in a while, then she texted me that she was in her native Milwaukee. A little later, because of the stress at work, I decided to have her come over for a little sexy time, and I said as much. Nothing out of the ordinary; that's how we usually talk, all perverted and shit.
But then she started asking me what kind of stuff I wanted her to do to me. That's odd; she's stroked my cock, like, a dozen times by now. She knows what I'm talking about; she was there, you know. Moreover, she wasn't her usually flirty self, playfully beating back all my horny messages. I had no idea what was going on, but something was ... off, and I didn't like it, so I just ended our communication after realizing this.
***e* confirmed my suspicions, and yet at the same time pierced my heart. I wasn't texting with ***e* when I reserved time with her; I was texting with her boyfriend. She told me about this guy. ***e* said they weren't all that serious and they broke up when he went out-of-state to look for work. But he came back and now they're, uh, sort-of together. She said that things won't change and I can get my dick wanked from her whenever I want. But then a day later, out of the blue, she texted me saying she doesn't do dances anymore and she got a straight job, but she would love to clean my house on the weekend. What I wonder is whether she meant all of that figuratively -- she "doesn't do dances anymore" but would love to "clean my house on the weekend" -- or literally. But I also thought of another thing: That also wasn't her but her man posing as her so I wouldn't arrange more handjobs again. I really don't know, but I can't run the risk of contacting ***e* because it looks as if she's allowing this boyfriend access to her phone. And if he has that, I'm not sure I can securely talk to her via Facebook without him knowing, either.
So, this brings up two very important revelations going forward. First of all, this boyfriend now knows who I am, my relationship with ***e* and, most importantly, has my phone number. With him now the love of her life I have become The Backdoor Man, to use Robert Plant's line on "Whole Lotta Love," and it appears as if he doesn't like that. The good side is he hasn't contacted me, let alone threatened me, yet. The bad side is I don't want to just let her go because she's the only dependable woman in my life who touches my pee-pee. Getting my sexual healing from her means going through him, and I'm not sure if that's possible or safe.
But that might pale in comparison to another problem: What if ***e* doesn't want to touch my pee-pee anymore because she's got a man? She said when she was at my house that she can fool around so long as she's not married. But I guess I don't completely buy that. What if it was her texting that she can't "dance" and she will only "clean my house" on weekends? What if she's hung up her wrists for good?
That is ... terrifying. And not just because I have virtually no one else who'll give me a handie. It may be pathetic, but she is the closest woman in my life -- even after taking into account the predominantly sexual nature of our relationship, she may be closer to me than Mother or my sister. I don't want to lose her. It's not as if I was trying to woo her, or be her girlfriend, but -- well, I admit that I have had dreams from time to time that we could be more than just the relationship we have, where she jerks me off and I give her money. I was hoping I could ... "know" her for a long time, even for the rest of my life. And who knows, maybe it could turn into something more than it is now. I would welcome that. But her having a boyfriend, a true boyfriend, alters that, possibly for good. If she's found someone to the point where she will no longer keep up our current arrangement ... well, she may think of this as a monetary transaction, but I hope not. It definitely isn't to me. However, if that's the case, then I would not know what to do to myself.
Monday, October 27, 2014
No, This Was The Worst Day At Work So Far
For two reasons. One, I immediately volunteered to ask something that might have made my boss mad, and I was wrong, therefore it did. Second, well ... this is really embarrassing because I really fucked up ... I blew a bill. It was one of those I did a couple weeks ago because it was My Task and I knew what I was doing and No! I wanna do it, nyah! And I gathered all of the folders together because I was going to do them in one fell swoop ... and I totally forgot to check the special instructions. Therefore apparently the company was pissed that they were charged more than they should have. My boss kind of blew up on me and the other two temps, even though it was totally my fault. I think he's smart enough to know it was me. I mean, he can just check the invoice. So either he doesn't care and wanted it done right, or he knows I did it and he's just waiting to screw me over.
Look, I fucked up. I admit it. I am ashamed, completely. But goddammit, I know that if I just had to worry about stuff like that and not sorting envelopes or finding new folders or helping other people do their things or teaching people shit, I wouldn't have messed up. That's not an excuse ... wait, that's totally an excuse. And, to be honest, something I am going to stick with as reason I should not be totally culpable. OK?
---
I now describe work like this: Every day I feel like I've been in a war. I know I am going to be blindsided, I just don't know how, and knowing I will be blindsided does not help if I don't know how. It's every single fucking day I am inundated, every goddamn day. I really don't want to go to work. Shit, even the paycheck doesn't feel like it's worth it now.
And I kind of think I'll be fired after today. Back-to-back howlers of mistakes will probably shove me out the door. And it may be a relief for all involved if I do get fired.
God, I so hate myself for making a bad situation worse.
Look, I fucked up. I admit it. I am ashamed, completely. But goddammit, I know that if I just had to worry about stuff like that and not sorting envelopes or finding new folders or helping other people do their things or teaching people shit, I wouldn't have messed up. That's not an excuse ... wait, that's totally an excuse. And, to be honest, something I am going to stick with as reason I should not be totally culpable. OK?
---
I now describe work like this: Every day I feel like I've been in a war. I know I am going to be blindsided, I just don't know how, and knowing I will be blindsided does not help if I don't know how. It's every single fucking day I am inundated, every goddamn day. I really don't want to go to work. Shit, even the paycheck doesn't feel like it's worth it now.
And I kind of think I'll be fired after today. Back-to-back howlers of mistakes will probably shove me out the door. And it may be a relief for all involved if I do get fired.
God, I so hate myself for making a bad situation worse.
Sunday, October 26, 2014
The Two
Well, I have gotten through (though not necessarily over) the abrupt change last week, and even though the teaching and the ripples from letting these guys do what I asked them to do isn't as bad as I thought (even though they've made some fucking boneheaded mistakes), I woke up this morning and thought, "Goddammit, I have to go to work tomorrow." These days I feel as if the weekend is there just so I won't have to work more than five days at a time. It's not relief; they are like TV shows that, if you're cynical, are there so the commercials don't bump into each other.
I don't know if the project is going to be over, although I think it's turned a corner. There is nothing new left to teach or watch out for. We're just doing now, and I hope they at least do a good job and not fuck up. Nevertheless, the two assholes who now possess the vast majority of the project (more even so than me) have been doing a bang-up job, but being sort of bitchy in the process.
So there's one who is mostly doing one of My Tasks, and she has been a tad more ... guess I'd say either charitable or adult. There was this one time where I wanted to show her something, and she said something to the effect of, "Well, but I was told I wasn't supposed to use that program now!" Well, I heard that as well, and this is something that isn't going to effect the problem with that program, so we could use it, but maybe I'll just wait until you're good and ready.
Either than that what I've gotten from her is organization. Last week she reordered all the folders I shoved into boxes in an order that is amenable to her in order for her to do her work. I am torn about this. On the one hand I feel as if she is ruining "my thing" for her agenda (and without telling me, which pisses me off), and that makes me afraid that she is demonstrating much more competence than I have, which isn't good for my boss to see. On the other hand, I am kind of relieved that someone took these goddamn boxes out of my hands because seeing more and more of them stacked on top of each other at the end of every day was absolutely killing me.
But one thing I can't shake: If she's so damn good at this, why is she a temp? Apparently she can organize, she can follow direction, and I think she understands insurance. Why is she doing this? Has she just gotten back into the workforce? Or maybe it's this: She's a really smart woman (just ask her), very precocious, but just doesn't want to apply herself. She knows she can do great things, she would just rather fuck around and get literally fucked, and that's why she has a kid who is just as juvenile as she is because she's a single mom and doesn't have the temperament to raise a child (a child raising a child, is what I'm saying) and that's why she doesn't have time to build a solid career. OK, maybe that's being inaccurate and harsh. I have no idea. But fuck, that's how I feel, and I think I'm right.
So the other asshole is still the gruff introvert he's always been, but on Friday he made a lame attempt at humor. I was trying to push out this file transfer, the most important of a laundry list of things I would have no time to do before the weekend began. So here trundles this man, this bulbous man who believes that striped shirts are acceptable work clothing (note to myself: Do not wear those two checkered shirts to work anymore) and drops a box of envelopes for me. What he said ... well, I don't think I'm going to repeat it here. Not because it's offensive -- of course I don't mind writing profanities here, I just wrote one at the beginning of this post, and just fucking now -- but just in case I need to keep my anonymity.
I did not react to him. Mostly it's because I had to get this file out of here. But even if I wasn't focused on my job, I wouldn't know what to say to this prick, and so I hope my silent treatment was taken as both ignoring his dumbass comment and realizing I'm dedicated to my work. But I listened -- boy, did I listen. And I don't know how some fat twerp like him has the audacity to believe that he can rudely walk around and assume people should part the seas for him because he's harried, then think he can make a smartass comment when someone (particularly the son-of-a-bitch who tried to train him) is also harried. A guy who gives off the impression that he's fixated on his work shouldn't be busting the balls of someone who's similarly fixated. I like to think I'm consistent that way, so when I come across someone similarly occupied/worried about getting something done, I think I go out of my way to not bother that person. This temp, apparently, doesn't see it that way. He sees it as if everybody should be quiet because he's mad, but should be jovial because he is happy, or at least thinks it's a good idea to make fun of someone.
Well, at least this dick is now working somewhere else so I don't have to deal with his toxic personality. Unfortunately, tomorrow starts another goddamn week.
I don't know if the project is going to be over, although I think it's turned a corner. There is nothing new left to teach or watch out for. We're just doing now, and I hope they at least do a good job and not fuck up. Nevertheless, the two assholes who now possess the vast majority of the project (more even so than me) have been doing a bang-up job, but being sort of bitchy in the process.
So there's one who is mostly doing one of My Tasks, and she has been a tad more ... guess I'd say either charitable or adult. There was this one time where I wanted to show her something, and she said something to the effect of, "Well, but I was told I wasn't supposed to use that program now!" Well, I heard that as well, and this is something that isn't going to effect the problem with that program, so we could use it, but maybe I'll just wait until you're good and ready.
Either than that what I've gotten from her is organization. Last week she reordered all the folders I shoved into boxes in an order that is amenable to her in order for her to do her work. I am torn about this. On the one hand I feel as if she is ruining "my thing" for her agenda (and without telling me, which pisses me off), and that makes me afraid that she is demonstrating much more competence than I have, which isn't good for my boss to see. On the other hand, I am kind of relieved that someone took these goddamn boxes out of my hands because seeing more and more of them stacked on top of each other at the end of every day was absolutely killing me.
But one thing I can't shake: If she's so damn good at this, why is she a temp? Apparently she can organize, she can follow direction, and I think she understands insurance. Why is she doing this? Has she just gotten back into the workforce? Or maybe it's this: She's a really smart woman (just ask her), very precocious, but just doesn't want to apply herself. She knows she can do great things, she would just rather fuck around and get literally fucked, and that's why she has a kid who is just as juvenile as she is because she's a single mom and doesn't have the temperament to raise a child (a child raising a child, is what I'm saying) and that's why she doesn't have time to build a solid career. OK, maybe that's being inaccurate and harsh. I have no idea. But fuck, that's how I feel, and I think I'm right.
So the other asshole is still the gruff introvert he's always been, but on Friday he made a lame attempt at humor. I was trying to push out this file transfer, the most important of a laundry list of things I would have no time to do before the weekend began. So here trundles this man, this bulbous man who believes that striped shirts are acceptable work clothing (note to myself: Do not wear those two checkered shirts to work anymore) and drops a box of envelopes for me. What he said ... well, I don't think I'm going to repeat it here. Not because it's offensive -- of course I don't mind writing profanities here, I just wrote one at the beginning of this post, and just fucking now -- but just in case I need to keep my anonymity.
I did not react to him. Mostly it's because I had to get this file out of here. But even if I wasn't focused on my job, I wouldn't know what to say to this prick, and so I hope my silent treatment was taken as both ignoring his dumbass comment and realizing I'm dedicated to my work. But I listened -- boy, did I listen. And I don't know how some fat twerp like him has the audacity to believe that he can rudely walk around and assume people should part the seas for him because he's harried, then think he can make a smartass comment when someone (particularly the son-of-a-bitch who tried to train him) is also harried. A guy who gives off the impression that he's fixated on his work shouldn't be busting the balls of someone who's similarly fixated. I like to think I'm consistent that way, so when I come across someone similarly occupied/worried about getting something done, I think I go out of my way to not bother that person. This temp, apparently, doesn't see it that way. He sees it as if everybody should be quiet because he's mad, but should be jovial because he is happy, or at least thinks it's a good idea to make fun of someone.
Well, at least this dick is now working somewhere else so I don't have to deal with his toxic personality. Unfortunately, tomorrow starts another goddamn week.
OK, Now I Am Hot For Teacher
I know this makes me an asshole, but I have to admit: I cannot help but think differently when it comes to teacher-student sexual affairs depending on the gender.
There has been a ton of these stories, and it seems like more of them feature a female teacher fucking a male student. I have, naturally, read these stories, and the physical attractiveness of the student may tip towards the pretty side, but it takes all kinds. But then I read the sordid details -- well, OK, not all of the details, just the parts where they detail where and when they fuck -- and all I can think of is, "Lucky bastard!"
I mean, look at this one, where they did it at the school, then ate pizza together. (The boy's ex-girlfriend saw the two and, being jealous and/or wanting to get him into trouble, ratted them out.) Or this story, where a substitute teacher went down on a student in a classroom ... on her first day at the fucking school!! Or the wildest story of female-teacher-on-male-student sex, where two teachers had a threesome with a really awesome student.
Whenever I hear that a male teacher fucks a female student, I assume that it is a case where the teacher is a predator and took advantage of his authority to either entice or lure a vulnerable girl into having sex with him. It is totally the same way when the genders are flipped, I know. And yet I can't help but think that the female teachers are either lost, or are working out daddy issues, or are themselves vulnerable ... or they're cougars. And I fall back on how confident I and my male friends were in high school and believe that the boys in these cases know exactly what is going on and, more importantly, can handle what happened.
Finally, I believe that many of the people they encounter will in fact support the good fortune they fell into, and that will help them "cope" with being "molested" by female teachers. If they repeatedly are being told what happened to them is weird or wrong, they'll feel bad about themselves. But by being around people who will react to this news by slapping them on the back and saying, "Good job!" this will not affect their lives. I do not believe it can be the same way with female students. That's sad, but I really think there is a difference between the two cases -- and I don't think I'm the only one who feels the same way.
There has been a ton of these stories, and it seems like more of them feature a female teacher fucking a male student. I have, naturally, read these stories, and the physical attractiveness of the student may tip towards the pretty side, but it takes all kinds. But then I read the sordid details -- well, OK, not all of the details, just the parts where they detail where and when they fuck -- and all I can think of is, "Lucky bastard!"
I mean, look at this one, where they did it at the school, then ate pizza together. (The boy's ex-girlfriend saw the two and, being jealous and/or wanting to get him into trouble, ratted them out.) Or this story, where a substitute teacher went down on a student in a classroom ... on her first day at the fucking school!! Or the wildest story of female-teacher-on-male-student sex, where two teachers had a threesome with a really awesome student.
Whenever I hear that a male teacher fucks a female student, I assume that it is a case where the teacher is a predator and took advantage of his authority to either entice or lure a vulnerable girl into having sex with him. It is totally the same way when the genders are flipped, I know. And yet I can't help but think that the female teachers are either lost, or are working out daddy issues, or are themselves vulnerable ... or they're cougars. And I fall back on how confident I and my male friends were in high school and believe that the boys in these cases know exactly what is going on and, more importantly, can handle what happened.
Finally, I believe that many of the people they encounter will in fact support the good fortune they fell into, and that will help them "cope" with being "molested" by female teachers. If they repeatedly are being told what happened to them is weird or wrong, they'll feel bad about themselves. But by being around people who will react to this news by slapping them on the back and saying, "Good job!" this will not affect their lives. I do not believe it can be the same way with female students. That's sad, but I really think there is a difference between the two cases -- and I don't think I'm the only one who feels the same way.
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Been Caught Swearing
Shit, I think I got caught saying shit at work.
It was the end of the day and I wanted to move some boxes to a different room because I didn't have any more room where I usually put the boxes. I think I may have wrenched my neck pulling up the two I wanted to walk over to this room. But it was locked. I didn't think it would be locked so early in the afternoon, but it was, and therefore I would have to walk with these two heavy boxes all the way back to where I work.
When the handle wouldn't move, I uttered to myself, twice, "Shit." I didn't think I was loud, but it was more than a whisper, which would be the level of sound I would emit when I curse in frustration. And then I look back down the hallway because, well, I don't know, I'm human ... and I saw three women in cubicles quickly look away from me. Was I loud enough for them to hear me swear? Oh, shit -- well, maybe I shouldn't say that, but, you know.
Now I'm scared I'm going to get called in to human resources, or, worse, I'll be fired for "misconduct." And that's another thing I hate about work; I have to behave myself. I don't want to behave myself. If I feel like swearing, I want to swear! It won't be loud, and I won't be abusive about it, but I was hauling boxes a long way and now I had to haul them back. Hope they understand.
Seriously, I think I'm in real trouble for this. I might not have a job Monday.
It was the end of the day and I wanted to move some boxes to a different room because I didn't have any more room where I usually put the boxes. I think I may have wrenched my neck pulling up the two I wanted to walk over to this room. But it was locked. I didn't think it would be locked so early in the afternoon, but it was, and therefore I would have to walk with these two heavy boxes all the way back to where I work.
When the handle wouldn't move, I uttered to myself, twice, "Shit." I didn't think I was loud, but it was more than a whisper, which would be the level of sound I would emit when I curse in frustration. And then I look back down the hallway because, well, I don't know, I'm human ... and I saw three women in cubicles quickly look away from me. Was I loud enough for them to hear me swear? Oh, shit -- well, maybe I shouldn't say that, but, you know.
Now I'm scared I'm going to get called in to human resources, or, worse, I'll be fired for "misconduct." And that's another thing I hate about work; I have to behave myself. I don't want to behave myself. If I feel like swearing, I want to swear! It won't be loud, and I won't be abusive about it, but I was hauling boxes a long way and now I had to haul them back. Hope they understand.
Seriously, I think I'm in real trouble for this. I might not have a job Monday.
Friday, October 24, 2014
Addendum To: Yesterday And Today Are The Two Worst Days At Work, And I Know I Will Lose My Temper Today (ETA at 11:01 PM on November 7 That I Think This Is A Scheduled Post, But I Didn't Write It In Till Now)
Between the constant training and the people from all sides asking for stuff and the questions that I couldn't answer and the stupid things the temps seemed to do and the stupid things I did and the things this bitchy, defensive temp decided to do on her own (which pisses me off because I'm controlling) and the day ending with me staying late knowing I won't get paid for overtime (again), I didn't lose my temper like I thought I would, but I just kind of mentally shut down. Probably wasn't the best thing since my boss was talking to me while I was putting stuff away. It was a one-sided conversation, him talking about the job and me nodding and saying yes and concentrating on putting away the boxes so I could go home.
---
I realized something in the middle of all this bullshit chaos: I have so much stuff I think I need to do that I have started delegating to other people, but pretty soon they will all be doing the stuff I think I was supposed to do, and since they're being paid less, I'm going to be out of a job. So I have to get my butt going and put out my resume to the other temp agency in case I get let go. Because, no joke, we're getting done so fast that there's a good possibility I won't have this job a month from now. This is radically different than how the project went to the past two years, but my current boss wanted to get this thing wrapped up a lot sooner than before, and boy, he's getting it. Which means I need to get other employment, and soon, and fast.
But I'm so fucking tired!!!
---
On my way home I planned on dropping by the bank in order to deposit some money for my folks. But my bad day, compounded by me getting out so late that I apparently fell into evening rush hour on my way home (what should have been a 30-minute commute stretched into 45, goddammit) made me reconsider. I was in such a bad mood that one perceived slight at the bank would just set me off, and then my bad temper would be misconstrued as a hold-up attempt, and I'd be arrested for bank robbery or something. So I decided to go home and immediately take a nap instead. About 30 minutes later I woke up at around 5:30. I felt better, calm enough to go to the bank and deposit that money. Good call.
---
Still don't want to go to work today. I will both have tons to do and see that the bulk of my job is being done by others, making me expendable. This really fucking blows. And then I'll be out of a job, and that will fucking blow, too.
Life sucks. Especially right now.
---
I realized something in the middle of all this bullshit chaos: I have so much stuff I think I need to do that I have started delegating to other people, but pretty soon they will all be doing the stuff I think I was supposed to do, and since they're being paid less, I'm going to be out of a job. So I have to get my butt going and put out my resume to the other temp agency in case I get let go. Because, no joke, we're getting done so fast that there's a good possibility I won't have this job a month from now. This is radically different than how the project went to the past two years, but my current boss wanted to get this thing wrapped up a lot sooner than before, and boy, he's getting it. Which means I need to get other employment, and soon, and fast.
But I'm so fucking tired!!!
---
On my way home I planned on dropping by the bank in order to deposit some money for my folks. But my bad day, compounded by me getting out so late that I apparently fell into evening rush hour on my way home (what should have been a 30-minute commute stretched into 45, goddammit) made me reconsider. I was in such a bad mood that one perceived slight at the bank would just set me off, and then my bad temper would be misconstrued as a hold-up attempt, and I'd be arrested for bank robbery or something. So I decided to go home and immediately take a nap instead. About 30 minutes later I woke up at around 5:30. I felt better, calm enough to go to the bank and deposit that money. Good call.
---
Still don't want to go to work today. I will both have tons to do and see that the bulk of my job is being done by others, making me expendable. This really fucking blows. And then I'll be out of a job, and that will fucking blow, too.
Life sucks. Especially right now.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Yesterday And Today Are The Two Worst Days At Work, And I Know I Will Lose My Temper Today
I fucking hate work now. I really fucking do.
On top of all the bullshit I have to do, all the things that jump up and ambush me, yesterday everything changed. And all because we virtually ran out of work. Because of that, everybody's role changed. And that means I have to train everybody differently now. I already have stress because of what I need to do, and now I have to do more?
And it's happening all at once, that's the most bothersome thing. I can't deal with it at once. There had to have been a better way for some people to migrate to other roles every week. But everybody changed yesterday. I can't handle that. Well, we shouldn't have hired more people on last week; that took a huge hunk off the workload as well as set me back on the tasks I was supposed to do. But now that means more people are doing stuff they don't know and I have to teach them on.
Then, there was this huge fucking problem with the codes. I told my boss this last week and yesterday he fucking flips out about it?? That was shit I needed last week, and now that he gets all bent out of shape, I have to worry about this on top of all the training?? Fuck that.
---
In a half-hour I will be marching into work. I have no fucking clue what I have to do, even though I know there are several things I need to do as soon as I fucking walk into the building. Of all the bad days I've had with this job, I have never had to face something as overwhelming, as impossible, as that. I have no goddamn idea what I need to do first -- train them, train her, separate the folders, help her with finding folders, getting more instructions on these codes ... I need to do it all, in half an hour. Fuck this, fuck all of this.
Oh, and it's not helping that nearly every one of these temps just did something stupid yesterday. One of them told me the name of the wrong person who wanted to see me. Another confessed that she did something wrong because the temp next to her told her the wrong thing. And I know that one of the temps ratted me out on these codes. Boy, that's going to be great for credibility. I already am feckless in front of these guys; they're just gonna do what they're gonna do because they don't think I'm a leader. If I see something that challenges my authority today, or pisses me off, I know I'm going to lose it. Because fuck all of this bullshit.
On top of all the bullshit I have to do, all the things that jump up and ambush me, yesterday everything changed. And all because we virtually ran out of work. Because of that, everybody's role changed. And that means I have to train everybody differently now. I already have stress because of what I need to do, and now I have to do more?
And it's happening all at once, that's the most bothersome thing. I can't deal with it at once. There had to have been a better way for some people to migrate to other roles every week. But everybody changed yesterday. I can't handle that. Well, we shouldn't have hired more people on last week; that took a huge hunk off the workload as well as set me back on the tasks I was supposed to do. But now that means more people are doing stuff they don't know and I have to teach them on.
Then, there was this huge fucking problem with the codes. I told my boss this last week and yesterday he fucking flips out about it?? That was shit I needed last week, and now that he gets all bent out of shape, I have to worry about this on top of all the training?? Fuck that.
---
In a half-hour I will be marching into work. I have no fucking clue what I have to do, even though I know there are several things I need to do as soon as I fucking walk into the building. Of all the bad days I've had with this job, I have never had to face something as overwhelming, as impossible, as that. I have no goddamn idea what I need to do first -- train them, train her, separate the folders, help her with finding folders, getting more instructions on these codes ... I need to do it all, in half an hour. Fuck this, fuck all of this.
Oh, and it's not helping that nearly every one of these temps just did something stupid yesterday. One of them told me the name of the wrong person who wanted to see me. Another confessed that she did something wrong because the temp next to her told her the wrong thing. And I know that one of the temps ratted me out on these codes. Boy, that's going to be great for credibility. I already am feckless in front of these guys; they're just gonna do what they're gonna do because they don't think I'm a leader. If I see something that challenges my authority today, or pisses me off, I know I'm going to lose it. Because fuck all of this bullshit.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
#0: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -4). Overall this was a down week for Twin Cities sports. Yet, despite the fact that they had to go to overtime and, well, I'm still pretty pissed off they got upset in last year's title game to Clarkson -- fucking Clarkson! -- after a little bit of self-argument between them and the team below them I have concluded with very little doubt that the University of Minnesota lady icers deserved the top spot for what they did: Go on the road as the #2 team in the nation to face the #1 team in the nation (and hated rival) Wisconsin and get the sweep.
More impressive was that they beat the Badgers both ways. They suffocated the life out of the supposed best team in the land on Friday 4-1 as Plymouth's own Dani Cameranesi broke a 1-all tie with a hat trick. Then with 88 seconds left in regulation, Coon Rapids' own Rachel Bona tied the game on the power play to tie Saturday's game. And with exactly a minute remaining in OT, Chanhassen's own Rachel Ramsey gave the Gophers the win. So of course the U. has retaken the top spot in the poll. And Cameranesi (WCHA Offensive Player Of The Week) and Goalie Amanda Leveille (WCHA Co-Defensive Player Of The Week) were lauded for their efforts.
The squad's next two series are at home. North Dakota comes in Friday and Saturday.
#-1: Gopher football (Last Week: 0). I don't know if Jerry Kill is going to turn this program into a Big Ten power along the likes of Ohio St. and Michigan St. But in the past two years Kill has made a serious case that the U. would be the best of the rest. That may not be a whole lot, but for my entire life they lined the shit bottom of the B1G barrel. They would have folded under the pressure of a bad team (Purdue) pushing back at home for the Homecoming game if this was as recently as three years ago.
But at least there is gumption, if not necessarily talent, with this team. And despite some offensive missteps and penalties in the first half, which led to them going into the tunnel trailing the Boilermakers at halftime, they were able to right the ship and play with some competence in the second half. Then in the fourth quarter they grinded out the victory. First, Kicker Ryan Santoso kicked a 52-yard field goals to finally give the Gophers the lead five minutes into the fourth quarter. It was the longest Minnesota FG since Rhys Lloyd gunned one from 54 in the 2003 season. Then, with 2 1/2 minutes left in the game, Cedric Thompson salted the game away with the second of his two interceptions off Purdue QB Austin Appleby. For their efforts, the U. won a game for the first time after trailing at the half in the Kill Era. And both Santoso and Thompson were lauded by the Big Ten, as, respectively, Special Teams and Defensive Players Of The Week.
They now face what may be considered the last of the easy part of their schedule. They travel to Illinois and face the Fighting Illini in the early game. I wonder if they can overcome their slow start. If they play the first half like they did against the Boilermakers, it may be virtually impossible to come back to win a road game, even against one as weak (and with an embattled Head Coach) as Illinois.
#-2: Wild (Last Week: Positive Numbers). After sweeping the season-opening home-and-home series against The Bastard Quebec Nordiques, Head Coach Mike Yeo was asked how good he feels about his team. "Don't ask me after two games. Ask me after four games," Yeo replied, referring to the Mild's trip to SoCal to face Anaheim and the defending champion Los Angeles Kings.
Yeo had a fantastic point, because the Wild ain't gonna go through the season undefeated. They dropped a pair of 2-1 decisions. Not the most shameful outcome, but it again proves that the Western Conference ain't nuttin' to fuck with. After yet another lengthy beginning-of-the-week break (the loss to the Kings came Sunday afternoon), they kickstart a four-game screening week Thursday when they host The Bastard Winnipeg Jets. They follow that with a game at the X against Tampa Bay before they have a quick two-game road trip against another pair of really good teams: Stanley Cup Final runner-up the New York Rangers and Boston.
#-3: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -1). Yeah, any hopes that the U. would get back to the NCAA Tournament were quashed in a span of 8 1/2 minutes early in the second half. The game-winner apparently was an Olimpico by 15th-ranked Wisconsin's Rose Lavelle. Then Cara Walls poured in her tenth and 11th goals of the season to embarrass the Gophers at Robbie Stadium. The Gophs are above .500 -- 5-4-1 in-conference, 8-7-1 overall -- but that won't cut it.
The sad part about being the first sport in the college sports season is that it's the first to end its season. And for some reason the end of the soccer season seems to come on suddenly. They play their last two home matches this weekend, both against the new members of the B1G: Maryland Friday night (I plan on going), Rutgers Sunday afternoon.
#-4: Vikings (Last Week: -5). Did you hear that there was tension and dissension in the Chicago Bears lockerroom Sunday afternoon after they were upset at home to the Miami Dolphins? Honestly, I was thinking that infighting would happen with the Vikes. So what if they're not as good of a team as Chicago? The way they melted down and lost at Buffalo should result in some finger-pointing.
First of all, how do you allow the Bills (with Quarterback Kyle Orton, once named The Best Backup QB In The NFL) to convert two double-digit downs? And second of all, how could Norv Turner not find a way to get that offense to move the fucking ball so they could score more points? It is obvious that the ViQueens still don't have much talent. But there had to be a plan so that they could keep a lead and preserve a win on the road against a bad team. There may not be any expectations for this club, but I really believe that losing the game in the last second is a neck-breaker, and the players are now done for the season. At Tampa Bay Sunday.
#-Infinity: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -3). Wow. Now this is absolutely fucking humiliating. I never thought that the University of Minnesota volleyball program could stoop to such lows. But after three straight losses, they likely have been thrown out of the AVCA Top 25. This is the worst Minnesota volleyball team I have ever seen.
First of all, the Goofs got swept -- swept! -- in a home-and-home series by Wisconsin, the same Wisconsin squad that changed coaches before last year and saw the new Head Coach take the Badgers to the NCAA title game. What has Hugh McCutcheon done? And was the last time the U. lost 3-zilch to their hated rivals home and away?
Tonight, though, was beyond frustrating, and inexcusable. They were at home tonight against Nebraska and, somehow, won the first sets. But they choked on it, absolutely chocked, and the Cornhuskers have just won to win the game, three sets to two. Yes, this is Nebraska. But how in the fuck does a program as elite as Minnesota piss away a 2-0 lead? I can't ... I can't even. ...
Host Iowa Saturday night, where they'll probably lose, too.
More impressive was that they beat the Badgers both ways. They suffocated the life out of the supposed best team in the land on Friday 4-1 as Plymouth's own Dani Cameranesi broke a 1-all tie with a hat trick. Then with 88 seconds left in regulation, Coon Rapids' own Rachel Bona tied the game on the power play to tie Saturday's game. And with exactly a minute remaining in OT, Chanhassen's own Rachel Ramsey gave the Gophers the win. So of course the U. has retaken the top spot in the poll. And Cameranesi (WCHA Offensive Player Of The Week) and Goalie Amanda Leveille (WCHA Co-Defensive Player Of The Week) were lauded for their efforts.
The squad's next two series are at home. North Dakota comes in Friday and Saturday.
#-1: Gopher football (Last Week: 0). I don't know if Jerry Kill is going to turn this program into a Big Ten power along the likes of Ohio St. and Michigan St. But in the past two years Kill has made a serious case that the U. would be the best of the rest. That may not be a whole lot, but for my entire life they lined the shit bottom of the B1G barrel. They would have folded under the pressure of a bad team (Purdue) pushing back at home for the Homecoming game if this was as recently as three years ago.
But at least there is gumption, if not necessarily talent, with this team. And despite some offensive missteps and penalties in the first half, which led to them going into the tunnel trailing the Boilermakers at halftime, they were able to right the ship and play with some competence in the second half. Then in the fourth quarter they grinded out the victory. First, Kicker Ryan Santoso kicked a 52-yard field goals to finally give the Gophers the lead five minutes into the fourth quarter. It was the longest Minnesota FG since Rhys Lloyd gunned one from 54 in the 2003 season. Then, with 2 1/2 minutes left in the game, Cedric Thompson salted the game away with the second of his two interceptions off Purdue QB Austin Appleby. For their efforts, the U. won a game for the first time after trailing at the half in the Kill Era. And both Santoso and Thompson were lauded by the Big Ten, as, respectively, Special Teams and Defensive Players Of The Week.
They now face what may be considered the last of the easy part of their schedule. They travel to Illinois and face the Fighting Illini in the early game. I wonder if they can overcome their slow start. If they play the first half like they did against the Boilermakers, it may be virtually impossible to come back to win a road game, even against one as weak (and with an embattled Head Coach) as Illinois.
#-2: Wild (Last Week: Positive Numbers). After sweeping the season-opening home-and-home series against The Bastard Quebec Nordiques, Head Coach Mike Yeo was asked how good he feels about his team. "Don't ask me after two games. Ask me after four games," Yeo replied, referring to the Mild's trip to SoCal to face Anaheim and the defending champion Los Angeles Kings.
Yeo had a fantastic point, because the Wild ain't gonna go through the season undefeated. They dropped a pair of 2-1 decisions. Not the most shameful outcome, but it again proves that the Western Conference ain't nuttin' to fuck with. After yet another lengthy beginning-of-the-week break (the loss to the Kings came Sunday afternoon), they kickstart a four-game screening week Thursday when they host The Bastard Winnipeg Jets. They follow that with a game at the X against Tampa Bay before they have a quick two-game road trip against another pair of really good teams: Stanley Cup Final runner-up the New York Rangers and Boston.
#-3: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -1). Yeah, any hopes that the U. would get back to the NCAA Tournament were quashed in a span of 8 1/2 minutes early in the second half. The game-winner apparently was an Olimpico by 15th-ranked Wisconsin's Rose Lavelle. Then Cara Walls poured in her tenth and 11th goals of the season to embarrass the Gophers at Robbie Stadium. The Gophs are above .500 -- 5-4-1 in-conference, 8-7-1 overall -- but that won't cut it.
The sad part about being the first sport in the college sports season is that it's the first to end its season. And for some reason the end of the soccer season seems to come on suddenly. They play their last two home matches this weekend, both against the new members of the B1G: Maryland Friday night (I plan on going), Rutgers Sunday afternoon.
#-4: Vikings (Last Week: -5). Did you hear that there was tension and dissension in the Chicago Bears lockerroom Sunday afternoon after they were upset at home to the Miami Dolphins? Honestly, I was thinking that infighting would happen with the Vikes. So what if they're not as good of a team as Chicago? The way they melted down and lost at Buffalo should result in some finger-pointing.
First of all, how do you allow the Bills (with Quarterback Kyle Orton, once named The Best Backup QB In The NFL) to convert two double-digit downs? And second of all, how could Norv Turner not find a way to get that offense to move the fucking ball so they could score more points? It is obvious that the ViQueens still don't have much talent. But there had to be a plan so that they could keep a lead and preserve a win on the road against a bad team. There may not be any expectations for this club, but I really believe that losing the game in the last second is a neck-breaker, and the players are now done for the season. At Tampa Bay Sunday.
#-Infinity: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -3). Wow. Now this is absolutely fucking humiliating. I never thought that the University of Minnesota volleyball program could stoop to such lows. But after three straight losses, they likely have been thrown out of the AVCA Top 25. This is the worst Minnesota volleyball team I have ever seen.
First of all, the Goofs got swept -- swept! -- in a home-and-home series by Wisconsin, the same Wisconsin squad that changed coaches before last year and saw the new Head Coach take the Badgers to the NCAA title game. What has Hugh McCutcheon done? And was the last time the U. lost 3-zilch to their hated rivals home and away?
Tonight, though, was beyond frustrating, and inexcusable. They were at home tonight against Nebraska and, somehow, won the first sets. But they choked on it, absolutely chocked, and the Cornhuskers have just won to win the game, three sets to two. Yes, this is Nebraska. But how in the fuck does a program as elite as Minnesota piss away a 2-0 lead? I can't ... I can't even. ...
Host Iowa Saturday night, where they'll probably lose, too.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
No Chance To Ride This Train (Scheduled Post)
Amtrak had this ingenious idea which, to be honest, they ran with after it was originally imagined by an author named Alexander Chee. Chee was quoted on a tweet saying it would be nice if the always-late national rail company of the United States allowed writers to write on their trains because he believed riding the rails is so stimulating to writing. Subsequently after a retweet, Amtrak asked the original tweeter and the re-tweeter on Twitter if they wanted to do a "residency" on one of their trains. And from this rare move of quasi-governmental/corporate spontaneity, the #AmtrakResidency program began.
I thought that getting write on a train, for free, would be awesome. I love trains, or at least the idyll of it. I have been fascinated by national commuter rail systems throughout Europe because of how efficient it is. I love being able to go to distant points of the country, even the globe, without any effort. The views on a train seem to be great no matter which train you are on on planet Earth. I will have nothing to do but to write, but I'll have the time and the space to do that, which is especially good since I don't do much besides blog on here. Finally, even though Amtrak remains horridly inefficient, hey, why would complain if Amtrak allowed me to come on board on its dime?
So I applied online. It was really short, and thankfully they didn't ask for samples. They had a few questions about why I would want to write on a train trip, which in my case would be the Empire Builder, probably from here to either Seattle or Portland and back (needed to get back in writing shape) and what kind of writing I would do while riding (not necessarily travel writing, but anything that strikes my fancy, thanks to Amtrak). I didn't think I had a chance since I'm nothing more than a blogger, but you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, you know?
Late last month they revealed the 24 winners. And although I knew there were vastly more talented and successful writers who would (and should) get these residencies, I didn't think I would be utterly outgunned by those who won.
In other words, I kind of thought that those who won would be authors who are published, but did not have much renown -- you know, people who teach in college to put food on the table. I had absolutely no idea of the caliber of writer, and celebrity, of those who applied. There was no damn chance in hell for me to get a train ride if these are the people who were picked. I mean, look at this list -- I know some of the writers who snagged a residency. For example, I've been a subscriber to Entertainment Weekly since Issue #10 -- I regularly read Lisa Schwarzbaum when she wrote, then did film reviews. I was competing against her?
There are three other people I know who will take up residencies on Amtrak. I listen to National Public Radio. Sometimes I'm driving around at the 7 o'clock hour, when Minnesota Public Radio airs Public Radio International's "The World." The host, Marco Werman, is going to be on a train. I follow baseball blogger Craig Calcaterra on Twitter. Hell, I saw Saul Williams do a poetry reading at the Icehouse last year because I remember jamming out to his song "List of Demands" in that kick-ass Nike commercial!
And he applied to #AmtrakResidency?! Why in the hell would he need to? I think he could afford the cost of the trip. Damn, he could afford to write in his apartment! I can't. I'm a starving artist, and I could use the inspiration of a free trip on Amtrak. But noooooooooooo, I guess they're looking for people who already are accomplished writers to be inspired while sleeping in an Amtrak car into writing some more.
Man, I can't compete against that. If I knew that a certain amount of mass media notoriety was a prerequisite into applying, I wouldn't have bothered to apply. But it seems kind of unfair that residencies have been given to people who have "made it." I kind of thought that #AmtrakResidency was conceived as a way to give struggling writers their big break, those who could not only use the stimulus of being on a train to produce good work but also could benefit from the promotional lift of taking part in a first-of-its-kind program. The oft-maligned Amtrak has received good PR with this, and a certain type of writer could have as well. It's a waste, then, to give these precious trips to those who've had a byline on a national magazine, or host their own radio show, or have thousands of followers on Twitter, or had their songs on commercials. What I once thought was a coup for a company that needed one turned into yet another case of the rich getting richer.
I thought that getting write on a train, for free, would be awesome. I love trains, or at least the idyll of it. I have been fascinated by national commuter rail systems throughout Europe because of how efficient it is. I love being able to go to distant points of the country, even the globe, without any effort. The views on a train seem to be great no matter which train you are on on planet Earth. I will have nothing to do but to write, but I'll have the time and the space to do that, which is especially good since I don't do much besides blog on here. Finally, even though Amtrak remains horridly inefficient, hey, why would complain if Amtrak allowed me to come on board on its dime?
So I applied online. It was really short, and thankfully they didn't ask for samples. They had a few questions about why I would want to write on a train trip, which in my case would be the Empire Builder, probably from here to either Seattle or Portland and back (needed to get back in writing shape) and what kind of writing I would do while riding (not necessarily travel writing, but anything that strikes my fancy, thanks to Amtrak). I didn't think I had a chance since I'm nothing more than a blogger, but you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, you know?
Late last month they revealed the 24 winners. And although I knew there were vastly more talented and successful writers who would (and should) get these residencies, I didn't think I would be utterly outgunned by those who won.
In other words, I kind of thought that those who won would be authors who are published, but did not have much renown -- you know, people who teach in college to put food on the table. I had absolutely no idea of the caliber of writer, and celebrity, of those who applied. There was no damn chance in hell for me to get a train ride if these are the people who were picked. I mean, look at this list -- I know some of the writers who snagged a residency. For example, I've been a subscriber to Entertainment Weekly since Issue #10 -- I regularly read Lisa Schwarzbaum when she wrote, then did film reviews. I was competing against her?
There are three other people I know who will take up residencies on Amtrak. I listen to National Public Radio. Sometimes I'm driving around at the 7 o'clock hour, when Minnesota Public Radio airs Public Radio International's "The World." The host, Marco Werman, is going to be on a train. I follow baseball blogger Craig Calcaterra on Twitter. Hell, I saw Saul Williams do a poetry reading at the Icehouse last year because I remember jamming out to his song "List of Demands" in that kick-ass Nike commercial!
And he applied to #AmtrakResidency?! Why in the hell would he need to? I think he could afford the cost of the trip. Damn, he could afford to write in his apartment! I can't. I'm a starving artist, and I could use the inspiration of a free trip on Amtrak. But noooooooooooo, I guess they're looking for people who already are accomplished writers to be inspired while sleeping in an Amtrak car into writing some more.
Man, I can't compete against that. If I knew that a certain amount of mass media notoriety was a prerequisite into applying, I wouldn't have bothered to apply. But it seems kind of unfair that residencies have been given to people who have "made it." I kind of thought that #AmtrakResidency was conceived as a way to give struggling writers their big break, those who could not only use the stimulus of being on a train to produce good work but also could benefit from the promotional lift of taking part in a first-of-its-kind program. The oft-maligned Amtrak has received good PR with this, and a certain type of writer could have as well. It's a waste, then, to give these precious trips to those who've had a byline on a national magazine, or host their own radio show, or have thousands of followers on Twitter, or had their songs on commercials. What I once thought was a coup for a company that needed one turned into yet another case of the rich getting richer.
Monday, October 20, 2014
Don't Want To Go To Work Tomorrow (Scheduled Post)
You know what? I'm not ready. I don't want to train them. For one thing, they're going to say something bitchy that pisses me off. For another thing, I am tired of training. I just want to be left alone and work. And for the final thing, I don't know how to train them. And that is the worst thing about this: I know how to do the work, but teaching it is an entirely different thing altogether.
This is the main reason why work has dominated my mind and my life. I just spent most of Sunday evening and Sunday Night Football catching up on the mail that has come the past couple weeks. I have been so busy and tired that the only thing I do when I get the mail is look for any bills for my parents, then put the pile either on a stair or on the floor. Tonight the chickens came home to roost, and even then I didn't feel as if I had the time to devote my full energies to going through the mail. But I did ... and unfortunately I actually missed a few of the bills that I had to pay on behalf of my folks. Fortunately, with the exception of something in Las Vegas, I caught them in time, in particular six garbage bills for my parents' properties in Vegas. That doesn't mean I've caught them all. I have no clue.
I feel as if that taking care of my parents' business affairs should be a full-time job. What I would really like, right now, is to not work. That way I would have to cover my parents' bills and not have to worry about the shit at work. But I have less than seven hours before I have to wake up, and then I go to work, and then I have this hellacious new task I have to do, something I am not sure I can pull off.
I just want to be left alone.
This is the main reason why work has dominated my mind and my life. I just spent most of Sunday evening and Sunday Night Football catching up on the mail that has come the past couple weeks. I have been so busy and tired that the only thing I do when I get the mail is look for any bills for my parents, then put the pile either on a stair or on the floor. Tonight the chickens came home to roost, and even then I didn't feel as if I had the time to devote my full energies to going through the mail. But I did ... and unfortunately I actually missed a few of the bills that I had to pay on behalf of my folks. Fortunately, with the exception of something in Las Vegas, I caught them in time, in particular six garbage bills for my parents' properties in Vegas. That doesn't mean I've caught them all. I have no clue.
I feel as if that taking care of my parents' business affairs should be a full-time job. What I would really like, right now, is to not work. That way I would have to cover my parents' bills and not have to worry about the shit at work. But I have less than seven hours before I have to wake up, and then I go to work, and then I have this hellacious new task I have to do, something I am not sure I can pull off.
I just want to be left alone.
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Well, I Never Thought This Would Happen
OK, all my kvetching about training these two dickheads the tasks
I want to keep to myself? Yeah, fuck that. First of all, when I
told them that I will train them Monday (I guess I could have done it Friday,
but I was kind of afraid I would not be tending to my new pups, and besides,
it's Friday -- let's start training at the beginning of the week and not the
end) and asked if they finally have all the software, they weren't dickheads
about it. Well, the guy once again complained that he wasn't getting all
the stuff he needed to work, but he's too fucking intense, and he has to
understand by now that this company doesn't have the ability or time to give
him everything he needs and he should be used to that by now. But other
than that, they were actually civil for once. Let's hope that continues! The other thing came as a surprise, although if I was able to
survey the big picture I would have seen it coming: We are running out of work.
It dawned on me some time in the early afternoon, when I noticed the number of packets in each bin and saw that we were running dangerously
short on all of them. Only the occasional infusions of work by the nurses
over the course of the day saved our asses. Nevertheless we are still very short. And unless there's a
bunch of stuff that comes in on Monday (which very well could happen), there's a high chance that a bunch of the temps will have no work. And how about the rest of the week? This is what happens when
you hire 13 people to do the same thing: You get so good and fast that you go
from a heap of work to no work at all. Meanwhile, the boxes of My Tasks continue to pile up. I was
putting things away and I was looking at my stack of boxes. Each of them
contains folders, some of them with one task, one with the other, all of them
filled to the brim. They aren't easy to stack high, and as
we have converted more and more envelopes into folders, I have had no choice
but to go vertical. Piling four boxes on high was bad enough, but we are
now at the point where we are five high -- very dangerous for stacking. Also, five stacks of five boxes means 25 boxes of stuff that has
to go to the next phase -- My Tasks. And looking at the stacks, some
of them leaning to the right because the boxes on the bottom of the totem pole
can't withstand the weight, I could not deny it anymore: I had to let it go.
I have to let other people get to work on these boxes because there was no
way I could catch up by myself. The killer revelation, however, is the
empty boxes for envelopes. The work is now further down the assembly
line, and without me training these people yet again, I have the huge problem
of the temps having no work to do ... and possibly being let go because of it.
I don't like giving people stuff I consider mine, but I really hate to see idle hands. I told my boss about this, and so the plan has changed: There will
be two people who do one of My Tasks, and then I will train two people I didn't
think will be involved with this phase doing the other of My Tasks. That
may not help keep the jobs of the other seven people, but at least we will
finally start the process of getting through these boxes of folders that are in
danger of tipping over. Getting those folders billed and flipped on their
side so I can put a lid on it is now my priority. Chugging through those boxes and eventually shrinking those columns would be great, even if I have to give away My Tasks to people who may or may not listen to me. Now, I just hope that while I'm training them, the others will just be sitting around with nothing to do.
Saturday, October 18, 2014
Well, fuck. All day I had no one volunteer to host the game tonight. Then, when I pop on facebook at 3, I see someone I have never seen before announce (at noon) that he has reserved a TV all the way in St. Paul. So of course I'm going; in fact I need to go now. It's just kind of ... upsetting that I had mentally prepared myself that no one was going to step up, therefore I had made plans this evening. And now I have to reorient my thinking back to the game. Why couldn't he or someone else say this yesterday? I hate spur-of-the-moment things sometimes.
Oh well, off to the game.
Oh well, off to the game.
Friday, October 17, 2014
Truly, Truly, Truly Hate, Hate Hate
No avoiding it anymore -- I must teach these assholes this new task. I am absolutely sick with training, but I'm dreading this even more because 1) they're assholes and 2) they think they know everything and 3) they have this curious, even arrogant insistence on doing things their way. No, you don't have a way. I do. And you are going to do it that way, or else fuck off. But that is not how they are going to react. They are going to boss me around and make snide comments behind my back and act all superior.
Sadly I can't really delay it anymore. All the programs are up on their computers. And I have to look at all these boxes piling up and admit that I cannot do this alone anymore. Plus I am still training new people -- new people, by the way, who are nicer and more professional than these two jamooks. Finally, and this is really scary, we are running out of work. The chockpoint is with me and these tasks I would rather keep to myself (but would not mind teaching a couple of the others because they would not push back and certainly won't be difficult), and I can't have now 13 people burning through envelopes.
It is absolutely astounding, and discouraging, that the two people I have to delegate these tasks to, the most tenured temps in this project, happen to be a pair of Hipster Twin dickheads. My only hope is that I don't have to teach them today because it's Friday and it's better to start with a clean slate on Monday so they have a full week to pound through a new task. But that means that the brickbats and under-the-breath insults start on Monday, not today. And I don't know if I can convince my boss that I need to focus my attention on the new pups and (rightfully) ignore those two until Monday.
So it really doesn't matter; eventually I am going to have to teach them, to talk to them, to look in their direction. And they are not going to have any of it, even though it's their fucking job to fucking listen!!!
I truly, truly hate these people. Truly, truly, truly hate, hate hate those two disrespectful goddamn people. And I have to talk to them, either today or Friday. Goddammit it all.
Sadly I can't really delay it anymore. All the programs are up on their computers. And I have to look at all these boxes piling up and admit that I cannot do this alone anymore. Plus I am still training new people -- new people, by the way, who are nicer and more professional than these two jamooks. Finally, and this is really scary, we are running out of work. The chockpoint is with me and these tasks I would rather keep to myself (but would not mind teaching a couple of the others because they would not push back and certainly won't be difficult), and I can't have now 13 people burning through envelopes.
It is absolutely astounding, and discouraging, that the two people I have to delegate these tasks to, the most tenured temps in this project, happen to be a pair of Hipster Twin dickheads. My only hope is that I don't have to teach them today because it's Friday and it's better to start with a clean slate on Monday so they have a full week to pound through a new task. But that means that the brickbats and under-the-breath insults start on Monday, not today. And I don't know if I can convince my boss that I need to focus my attention on the new pups and (rightfully) ignore those two until Monday.
So it really doesn't matter; eventually I am going to have to teach them, to talk to them, to look in their direction. And they are not going to have any of it, even though it's their fucking job to fucking listen!!!
I truly, truly hate these people. Truly, truly, truly hate, hate hate those two disrespectful goddamn people. And I have to talk to them, either today or Friday. Goddammit it all.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
I Am Making Too Many Scheduled Posts (Scheduled Post)
I don't know exactly know why, but I think the stress of work has gotten to me. I just don't have the energy to stay on the Internet past midnight, and I don't think I want to spend my late afternoons and early evenings making sure I get my daily blog post in. Add on to the fact that this week I had things to do after work: Monday I saw my shrink, Tuesday I had to go to my parents' property manager, and even though I didn't plan on it Wednesday, after I was told by the sprinkler service people that they have already winterized the system for the year, I decided this was the time to drive all the way out to the UPS service warehouse and get the TV I ordered from Amazon (should blog about that later).
In other words, I am busy, so busy that it seems as if the nighttime is the only time for me to blog. And since I would rather not get my posts in just before midnight signals a new day, lately I have just put the postings to bed before midnight and schedule their publishings at the usual time for Scheduled Posts, 2:30 a.m.
I am doing the same thing here -- writing specifically at 11:00 p.m. Wednesday morning for the Thursday Wailing And Failing post -- because I am really, really tired. Work is not getting any better. Good night.
In other words, I am busy, so busy that it seems as if the nighttime is the only time for me to blog. And since I would rather not get my posts in just before midnight signals a new day, lately I have just put the postings to bed before midnight and schedule their publishings at the usual time for Scheduled Posts, 2:30 a.m.
I am doing the same thing here -- writing specifically at 11:00 p.m. Wednesday morning for the Thursday Wailing And Failing post -- because I am really, really tired. Work is not getting any better. Good night.
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey (Scheduled Post)
Positive Numbers: Wild (Re-Entry!). Up and down the local sports rollercoaster we go. With the addition of two new teams and the resumption of a third, the survey enters its busy season. But it is rare that so many teams had such good weeks; five of the seven teams in the WMNSS went undefeated. So we have several good candidates to choose from for the top spot.
So why the local pro hockey team? It may be extremely premature to think a club can win a championship just after two wins, but these aren't just any two wins they notched to begin the NHL season. They took both ends of a home-and-home series against Colorado, the squad they upset in a thrilling seven-game first-round Stanley Cup Playoff series (capped off by that ridiculous Game 7 where they trailed by a goal four times and came back to tie it, then won it in overtime ... and on the road, no less), by scores of 5-0 at Xcel and 3-0 at Pepsi. Back-to-back shutouts against a defending division champion (albeit one whose advanced statistics were so off the charts that many people are banking on a vicious regression to the mean for the Avalanche)? That is some serious ass-kicking there, and I don't remember the last time I've seen that from the Wild. That is why I not only put them in the top spot, but I am going to give them Positive Numbers too.
What looks very promising so far is the offensive firepower. This franchise has had an almost permanent issue with scoring. But the first two lines of (I think) Zach Parise/Jason Pominville/Mikael Granlund and Mikko Koivu/Thomas Vanek/Charlie Coyle could, if we allow ourselves to dream, match the top six forwards of any contending team, including those of Chicago, Boston and Los Angeles. If you can do that, and if you can have a viable top four defensemen ... well, the Minnesota Wild may turn into a contender, even in the severely stacked Central Division in the lopsided Western Conference. Meanwhile, with the somewhat bizarre suspension of the MD-stricken Josh Harding, the reins between the pipes have gone to the person who was once the C-stringer, Darcy Kuemper -- and hey, two clean sheets speak for themselves.
The road does not get any easier, although this year I don't know if there is any easy stretch of road. By virtue of weird scheduling, they have not played since Saturday and will not play until Friday, when they go to rejuvenated Anaheim. Then, on Sunday, they visit the defending Stanley Cup champion L.A. Kings.
#-4: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1). OK, so now we get to the teams that lost. Well, I believe that the Minnesota women's hockey team lost even though it's not officially seen as such. They suffered their first, well, blemish of the season at UMD with Saturday's 3-3 tie which turned into a shootout loss. For that reason, the Gophers loss their #1 ranking.
I believe that the same number of points (one?) is given to both teams in such a situation. If that's the case, why do you need a shootout? The excitement? (wanking motion) That only means that the team suffered their first real loss. Oh yeah, they beat the Bulldogs 3-0 Friday, by the way.
They have a second consecutive two-game series on the road, and it'll be a doozy. They face the new #1 team in the country, Wisconsin. #1 vs. #2 -- someone put this on ESPN!
#-5: Vikings (Last Week: -3). Oof. Once again, the ViQueens bring up the rear in the Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey. And what is so demoralizing about Sunday's 17-3 defeat to the Detroit Lions was that many of us, uh, "realistic" fans bought into the hype of Teddy Bridgewater, starting after having to sit out the Green Bay ass-kicking, and thought they had a good chance to beat the Lions because they were at home.
Instead, we had what could have been the most desultory offensive performance of recent Vikings vintage. Only a late Blair Walsh field goal prevented the club for being shut out for the first time since 2007. And truth of it is, Bridgewater left the game with his reputation intact. He was awful, but a lot of it was not his fault. The first of his three interceptions was a rookie mistake. The last two came from a deflection from a Wide Receiver and a defensive player. I think many people at TCF Bank Stadium came away from the game very impressed with the Lions' defensive front seven. And, unfortunately, they also noticed that Minnesota's offensive line is downright awful. The most glaring of weaknesses there, I'm afraid, is Matt Kalil, a man who I thought was going to be the stalwart Left Tackle for the team for the next decade. However, he allowed at least one of the eight sacks the squad gave up, and I saw conspicuous mistakes that one would not expect from the third pick in the first round of the NFL Draft.
The good news, I guess, is that they face another team that may be more moribund than they are, Buffalo. They just got humbled again by New England, they switched Quarterbacks (the Bills will be led by Kyle Orton, arguably the best backup QB in the league), and other than that, there is very little that stands out. However, the Vikings play in Buffalo, so that's another disadvantage to them winning. After that they head to Tampa. And even though the Bills and Buccaneers appear to be two of the worst teams in the NFL, based on Sunday's game, I can't see another win on the schedule.
So why the local pro hockey team? It may be extremely premature to think a club can win a championship just after two wins, but these aren't just any two wins they notched to begin the NHL season. They took both ends of a home-and-home series against Colorado, the squad they upset in a thrilling seven-game first-round Stanley Cup Playoff series (capped off by that ridiculous Game 7 where they trailed by a goal four times and came back to tie it, then won it in overtime ... and on the road, no less), by scores of 5-0 at Xcel and 3-0 at Pepsi. Back-to-back shutouts against a defending division champion (albeit one whose advanced statistics were so off the charts that many people are banking on a vicious regression to the mean for the Avalanche)? That is some serious ass-kicking there, and I don't remember the last time I've seen that from the Wild. That is why I not only put them in the top spot, but I am going to give them Positive Numbers too.
What looks very promising so far is the offensive firepower. This franchise has had an almost permanent issue with scoring. But the first two lines of (I think) Zach Parise/Jason Pominville/Mikael Granlund and Mikko Koivu/Thomas Vanek/Charlie Coyle could, if we allow ourselves to dream, match the top six forwards of any contending team, including those of Chicago, Boston and Los Angeles. If you can do that, and if you can have a viable top four defensemen ... well, the Minnesota Wild may turn into a contender, even in the severely stacked Central Division in the lopsided Western Conference. Meanwhile, with the somewhat bizarre suspension of the MD-stricken Josh Harding, the reins between the pipes have gone to the person who was once the C-stringer, Darcy Kuemper -- and hey, two clean sheets speak for themselves.
The road does not get any easier, although this year I don't know if there is any easy stretch of road. By virtue of weird scheduling, they have not played since Saturday and will not play until Friday, when they go to rejuvenated Anaheim. Then, on Sunday, they visit the defending Stanley Cup champion L.A. Kings.
#0: Gopher football (Re-Entry!). Professional -- that is the way I would describe the Golden Gophers' 24-17 win over Northwestern. It was nip and tuck, and the rumors that this team is overachieving based on their back-loaded schedule started to become louder. But then Jalen Myrick (lauded as the Big Ten's co-Special Teams Player Of The Week) did this from the goal line:
That was cool. It was also the first kickoff return for a touchdown in the conference. Because of that, the Gophers go to 5-1 -- one win away from bowl eligibility -- and remain undefeated in B1G play. They get an easier cupcake this Saturday afternoon -- Purdue. And that probably was by design since it's Homecoming. Alumni should get a treat: A win and a six-victory team.
#-1: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -2). Look, I don't know if it's too late. All White Kit still doesn't have them anywhere close to the NCAA Tournament in its latest projection. But you can't do anymore to state your case than the footballers did this week -- a 3-1 victory over Nebraska at home, the difference coming from a pair of goals by Taylor Stainbrook, followed by a 2-1 double overtime victory at Illinois, courtesy of Taylor Wodnick in the 101st minute. Yet it was the third Gopher who scored this past week, Josee Stiever, who was named conference Co-Offensive Player Of The Week. Stiever scored the first goal for the U. in both games. That's nice, but I would think that a two-goal performance or a golden goal would be better. Regardless, congratulations to Stiever.
The side has four games left, and the first three are at home. But there's only one match this week: Saturday night vs. Wisconsin, projected by All White Kit as a sure tournament team.
The side has four games left, and the first three are at home. But there's only one match this week: Saturday night vs. Wisconsin, projected by All White Kit as a sure tournament team.
#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Re-Entry!). Congratulations, I guess, goes out to the U. male icers for defending their Ice Breaker Tournament title at Notre Dame to begin their year. They had to dispatch UMD 4-3, then they shut out Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute 3-0. Hudson Fasching scored two goals and tallied an assist over the weekend, and was named the Big Ten First Star Of The Week. They also retain their top spot in the rankings. That's awesome, and once again, they are considered to be a prime contender for the NCAA title. But they were also a contender last year, and look what happened: They were upset in the final against fucking Union. Fucking Union!!!
In the first two weeks of the season, they will face a former rival in the WCHA that they might meet once again in late January's North Star College Cup; they host Bemidji St. in two weeks.
In the first two weeks of the season, they will face a former rival in the WCHA that they might meet once again in late January's North Star College Cup; they host Bemidji St. in two weeks.
#-3: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -Infinity). At the Sports Pavilion they hazed the two rookie members of the Big Ten, Maryland and Rutgers, with sweeps over the weekend. That's great, but you're supposed to expect Minnesota to sweep two teams as weak as the Terrapins and Scarlet Knights. What happens, then, when the club faces the first home-and-home series I have ever heard of in a volleyball season, when they first host (today [Wednesday]) then visit (Saturday) 5th-ranked and NCAA runner-up Wisconsin? I still don't think this team will be any good. In fact, I doubt this squad can reach the Sweet Sixteen this year.
#-4: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1). OK, so now we get to the teams that lost. Well, I believe that the Minnesota women's hockey team lost even though it's not officially seen as such. They suffered their first, well, blemish of the season at UMD with Saturday's 3-3 tie which turned into a shootout loss. For that reason, the Gophers loss their #1 ranking.
I believe that the same number of points (one?) is given to both teams in such a situation. If that's the case, why do you need a shootout? The excitement? (wanking motion) That only means that the team suffered their first real loss. Oh yeah, they beat the Bulldogs 3-0 Friday, by the way.
They have a second consecutive two-game series on the road, and it'll be a doozy. They face the new #1 team in the country, Wisconsin. #1 vs. #2 -- someone put this on ESPN!
#-5: Vikings (Last Week: -3). Oof. Once again, the ViQueens bring up the rear in the Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey. And what is so demoralizing about Sunday's 17-3 defeat to the Detroit Lions was that many of us, uh, "realistic" fans bought into the hype of Teddy Bridgewater, starting after having to sit out the Green Bay ass-kicking, and thought they had a good chance to beat the Lions because they were at home.
Instead, we had what could have been the most desultory offensive performance of recent Vikings vintage. Only a late Blair Walsh field goal prevented the club for being shut out for the first time since 2007. And truth of it is, Bridgewater left the game with his reputation intact. He was awful, but a lot of it was not his fault. The first of his three interceptions was a rookie mistake. The last two came from a deflection from a Wide Receiver and a defensive player. I think many people at TCF Bank Stadium came away from the game very impressed with the Lions' defensive front seven. And, unfortunately, they also noticed that Minnesota's offensive line is downright awful. The most glaring of weaknesses there, I'm afraid, is Matt Kalil, a man who I thought was going to be the stalwart Left Tackle for the team for the next decade. However, he allowed at least one of the eight sacks the squad gave up, and I saw conspicuous mistakes that one would not expect from the third pick in the first round of the NFL Draft.
The good news, I guess, is that they face another team that may be more moribund than they are, Buffalo. They just got humbled again by New England, they switched Quarterbacks (the Bills will be led by Kyle Orton, arguably the best backup QB in the league), and other than that, there is very little that stands out. However, the Vikings play in Buffalo, so that's another disadvantage to them winning. After that they head to Tampa. And even though the Bills and Buccaneers appear to be two of the worst teams in the NFL, based on Sunday's game, I can't see another win on the schedule.
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Saw A Psychologist ... Am I Supposed To Say This? (Scheduled Post)
And I have to say that I am quite relieved, even happy, that I saw him. I was kind of afraid what I was going to get myself into, but he was patient and listened as I unloaded my troubles onto him.
I realized something: I don't have too many friends. It's not as if I want more. But in confessing all my fears and frustrations to the psychologist, I thought of the times I actually had a friend, in the same room with me, to whom I could talk about things, and afterward I felt so much better. It was the same feeling I had with this guy, and that feeling was something I had not felt in so long.
I was thinking that the psychoanalysis would start pretty deeply from the get-go, but (without spilling details ... patient-client privilege and all that) he just asked what I was there for and let me vent. The only psychoanalytical thing he asked me was something about the people who worked for my parents at The Store. And I'm kind of thinking what's happening at work stems from what I saw in interactions between my folks and their employees. All this time I was thinking -- hoping -- that I learned what not to do from those interactions.
Man, I feel so good right now that ... and I can't believe I'm saying this ... I don't think I would mind teaching those two temp assholes the tasks I want to keep for myself. OK, so they'll talk back and act like I'm stupid. Doesn't matter -- I have someone I can complain to about them.
But maybe that feeling will pass and I'll go back to being grouchy and suspicious.
I realized something: I don't have too many friends. It's not as if I want more. But in confessing all my fears and frustrations to the psychologist, I thought of the times I actually had a friend, in the same room with me, to whom I could talk about things, and afterward I felt so much better. It was the same feeling I had with this guy, and that feeling was something I had not felt in so long.
I was thinking that the psychoanalysis would start pretty deeply from the get-go, but (without spilling details ... patient-client privilege and all that) he just asked what I was there for and let me vent. The only psychoanalytical thing he asked me was something about the people who worked for my parents at The Store. And I'm kind of thinking what's happening at work stems from what I saw in interactions between my folks and their employees. All this time I was thinking -- hoping -- that I learned what not to do from those interactions.
Man, I feel so good right now that ... and I can't believe I'm saying this ... I don't think I would mind teaching those two temp assholes the tasks I want to keep for myself. OK, so they'll talk back and act like I'm stupid. Doesn't matter -- I have someone I can complain to about them.
But maybe that feeling will pass and I'll go back to being grouchy and suspicious.
Monday, October 13, 2014
Rotting Green Tomatoes (Scheduled Post)
Harvesting tomatoes suck. I would rather buy them at the grocery store. Why? Because they are all red, and you don't have to worry about whether they are going to ripen. Meanwhile I have guessed wrong on all the ones my parents planted, and it's pissing me off. I hate gardening, and I don't know why anyone would like to do this.
I think I have culled tomatoes four times, including the ones my parents laid out on the counter for me (which I neglected), until some time last week (Wednesday?), when I heard there was potential frost a morning after I thought there was actual frost and decided, fuck it, I don't want to deal with tending to these tomatoes anymore, I'm calling it a season. Every time there were tomatoes that didn't seem "right." At their best, their best, they needed some more ripening. But most of the time they were green tomatoes and I didn't know what the hell I was supposed to do with them. I heard they could use some ripening if you just wrap them then put them in a box. I also read that you could freeze them green. I still don't know what to do.
So I split the difference in the last two waves of tomatoes. A week or so ago I decided that a tomato plant's leaves were wilting to the point that there was no need to keep them on the vine because the green tomatoes weren't going to get any riper. So I cut them, brought them inside, washed them and then dried them in the belief that they could sit around and hopefully they would turn red. But about a day and a half after I set them out to dry, they all, en masse, started to show spots and turn very squishy. Those are signs of spoiled tomatoes, but I am sure they were not exposed to one of the intervening nights of frost advisories we have had lately. Fuck if I know what happened; the only thing I could take from this is that once I get them out of the water and dried, throw them into the freezer. I'm sure my parents don't want green tomatoes, but as long as they're not spoiled, they have a chance to be used somehow.
By contrast the last wave of tomatoes I brought in suffered through one frost where I put a tarp on it. Well, tried to put a tarp on it; I came out the next morning (which had to be on a weekend, otherwise I wouldn't've come out the next morning) and saw the tarp blown onto the ground. So it may have already suffered some damage, but I left it out until the evening of another frost advisory. Soaked it and dried it, and instead of leaving them out, just now I took out the new Ziploc freezer bags I bought because I don't trust the ones that my parents left for me (ones which the best tomatoes, the reddest ones, are in) and filled up five of them to put into the freezer. A few of them were too bad to freeze; they're with the others in a Chipotle chips bag that I will throw away. But as long as they are not beyond redemption, they are now in the freezer. Not taking a chance.
So now all but seven tomatoes are either in the freezer or going into the trash bin. These seven are the ones that are red, and so I am going to try one last time to ripen them. They are in its own piece of ad newspaper in a box. Checked it just now: None of them are getting red, one seems to be getting spots, one of them is getting squishy. I am going to get back to these tomorrow night, and then I will either keep them or toss them. I just now that they're not going to go the way I want them to go.
---
Is it me? Did I do something wrong with them? Obviously the first tomatoes would have been good if I didn't just leave them out on the counter. There were some that I left outside too long, as indicated by thick dark scores on the tops of some of them. There may have been some that I took too soon, as indicated by the plethora of green tomatoes. And maybe I did not treat them well once I brought them inside.
So I guess this could be a lesson to not do next gardening season. But after a winter and spring, I know I'll forget. I'll forget everything except that I fucked this all up and I hate it all. And then I'll have to worry about when to harvest them and how to deal with the frost. It's all too much; I have work and the rest of my life to worry about, I have no time to worry about raising your own tomatoes.
I think I have culled tomatoes four times, including the ones my parents laid out on the counter for me (which I neglected), until some time last week (Wednesday?), when I heard there was potential frost a morning after I thought there was actual frost and decided, fuck it, I don't want to deal with tending to these tomatoes anymore, I'm calling it a season. Every time there were tomatoes that didn't seem "right." At their best, their best, they needed some more ripening. But most of the time they were green tomatoes and I didn't know what the hell I was supposed to do with them. I heard they could use some ripening if you just wrap them then put them in a box. I also read that you could freeze them green. I still don't know what to do.
So I split the difference in the last two waves of tomatoes. A week or so ago I decided that a tomato plant's leaves were wilting to the point that there was no need to keep them on the vine because the green tomatoes weren't going to get any riper. So I cut them, brought them inside, washed them and then dried them in the belief that they could sit around and hopefully they would turn red. But about a day and a half after I set them out to dry, they all, en masse, started to show spots and turn very squishy. Those are signs of spoiled tomatoes, but I am sure they were not exposed to one of the intervening nights of frost advisories we have had lately. Fuck if I know what happened; the only thing I could take from this is that once I get them out of the water and dried, throw them into the freezer. I'm sure my parents don't want green tomatoes, but as long as they're not spoiled, they have a chance to be used somehow.
By contrast the last wave of tomatoes I brought in suffered through one frost where I put a tarp on it. Well, tried to put a tarp on it; I came out the next morning (which had to be on a weekend, otherwise I wouldn't've come out the next morning) and saw the tarp blown onto the ground. So it may have already suffered some damage, but I left it out until the evening of another frost advisory. Soaked it and dried it, and instead of leaving them out, just now I took out the new Ziploc freezer bags I bought because I don't trust the ones that my parents left for me (ones which the best tomatoes, the reddest ones, are in) and filled up five of them to put into the freezer. A few of them were too bad to freeze; they're with the others in a Chipotle chips bag that I will throw away. But as long as they are not beyond redemption, they are now in the freezer. Not taking a chance.
So now all but seven tomatoes are either in the freezer or going into the trash bin. These seven are the ones that are red, and so I am going to try one last time to ripen them. They are in its own piece of ad newspaper in a box. Checked it just now: None of them are getting red, one seems to be getting spots, one of them is getting squishy. I am going to get back to these tomorrow night, and then I will either keep them or toss them. I just now that they're not going to go the way I want them to go.
---
Is it me? Did I do something wrong with them? Obviously the first tomatoes would have been good if I didn't just leave them out on the counter. There were some that I left outside too long, as indicated by thick dark scores on the tops of some of them. There may have been some that I took too soon, as indicated by the plethora of green tomatoes. And maybe I did not treat them well once I brought them inside.
So I guess this could be a lesson to not do next gardening season. But after a winter and spring, I know I'll forget. I'll forget everything except that I fucked this all up and I hate it all. And then I'll have to worry about when to harvest them and how to deal with the frost. It's all too much; I have work and the rest of my life to worry about, I have no time to worry about raising your own tomatoes.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Feeling Abandoned (Scheduled Post)
Talked to the alumni club predecessor this afternoon because I needed his help talking to the owner of the bar which seems to be trying to push me out. He was good with some advice, but after I told him my sob story of worrying that he isn't talking to me, well, my predecessor didn't text me back. But we weren't done!
Now I am going to the bar to watch the game with the rest of the club ... which will not show up. I hope the VP shows up. I hope we get to hear the game. I hope we don't get kicked out.
Tomorrow I have to go the Vikings game and I think I am getting a more stressful position. I don't need that the day before I have to go back to my other stressful job, where I am surrounded by assholes (well, most of them are quiet; but it's the assholes that make this job stressful).
I thought I would like having the house all to myself, but I am the one who has to water the houseplants and flowers, plus I have to worry about the washing machine. My parents are better at doing that stuff, not me. But I am alone now.
I feel abandoned.
God I need to see a shrink.
Now I am going to the bar to watch the game with the rest of the club ... which will not show up. I hope the VP shows up. I hope we get to hear the game. I hope we don't get kicked out.
Tomorrow I have to go the Vikings game and I think I am getting a more stressful position. I don't need that the day before I have to go back to my other stressful job, where I am surrounded by assholes (well, most of them are quiet; but it's the assholes that make this job stressful).
I thought I would like having the house all to myself, but I am the one who has to water the houseplants and flowers, plus I have to worry about the washing machine. My parents are better at doing that stuff, not me. But I am alone now.
I feel abandoned.
God I need to see a shrink.
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Can't Get Away From Work
Just realized something: An envelope one of the dickish temps began yesterday has this special thing that needs to be done. I was told that from one of the permanents at the company because it was really, really important. And I forgot. So I am at a crossroads: Either I tell the temp this step, where he will once again be frustrated because he's a big baby, or I catch shit from the permanent because she told me before that this had to be done. Right now I am leaning toward just not saying anything to the asshole temp and feign forgetfulness when she comes back and says, "Have you told them to do this?"
---
You know, these two dickheads, the temps, I've been thinking about those two ever since I left work yesterday. In fact, I have been having dreams about how they could be fired so I don't have to deal with their bitchy attitudes anymore. Maybe one of the other temps overheard them badmouthing me and my boss. (I kind of think they do behind my back anyway. Maybe I'm paranoid.) Or one of them got a company e-mail, and they used it to send racist jokes to each other, and someone was spying on them and he or she ratted them out to my boss. Something, anything, to get them out of my sight for the rest of my life. I'll train someone else, that's fine, as long as I don't get any pushback from those two.
Probably won't happen.
---
Right now I prefer unemployment.
---
You know, these two dickheads, the temps, I've been thinking about those two ever since I left work yesterday. In fact, I have been having dreams about how they could be fired so I don't have to deal with their bitchy attitudes anymore. Maybe one of the other temps overheard them badmouthing me and my boss. (I kind of think they do behind my back anyway. Maybe I'm paranoid.) Or one of them got a company e-mail, and they used it to send racist jokes to each other, and someone was spying on them and he or she ratted them out to my boss. Something, anything, to get them out of my sight for the rest of my life. I'll train someone else, that's fine, as long as I don't get any pushback from those two.
Probably won't happen.
---
Right now I prefer unemployment.
The Weekend That Won't Be
For some reason, Friday afternoon, after I tried to take a nap in my car for lunch, everybody at work, including me, was unjustifiably giddy. I was dreading yet again the fact that I had to let go of the work I wanted to keep to myself, and when my boss and The Asshole came over to the old guys' desks to finally install the programs they needed to do the tasks I had to train them on, my heart sank. But then there was yet another program they needed, and since both of them had other things they needed to do, they couldn't get around to it Friday. Therefore, for yet another day -- and actually the whole week -- it was just like old times, just me doing something no else could do, because I am special!
For a while, though, it looked like I had another slap in the face as to why these two guys should be doing what I have been doing: The work was running out. There are now seven other people (besides me, and after this nice girl was brutally fired from work after helping me pack up Thursday afternoon) going through the consents, and even though they may not be good (there are still mistakes popping up everywhere), they are fast, fast enough that I looked into the boxes and it appeared as if we would have nothing else to do. But a couple people came to the rescue, resupplying us with box after box full of envelopes, ending with a couple boxes that came in just before the end of the day. We're good for work, for a while.
That wasn't why I felt so positive, however. I don't know, but it felt like not just the company but the entire world after I left work (and then went to My Favorite Stripclub [Non-Cover Division], then a liquor store, then a brand new store that opened nearby, then McDonald's to start playing Monopoly) was happy. Maybe it's because it's the start of the weekend, but I don't remember my own spirits being so high on previous Fridays. My feels were mostly of relief that I made it through another workweek without either losing my temper or my job.
Unfortunately the onslaught does not end, and I don't really have a respite this weekend. First of all, I was supposed to meet with my parents' property manager to collect rent checks, but he had to postpone because he doesn't have them all yet. My folks are going to be pissed, and they are already pissed because of the tenants owe them back rent. Then I spent a part of Friday evening trying to fix the washing machine after it gave me the "LD" (long drain) warning signal again. I did it so successfully before that it took me only 15 minutes to unscrew the bottom plate and pull out the pump. But unlike the first time, when I could see that calcified rocks were the reason the pump wasn't pumping out water, there were no obstructions in there this time. There is a filter that also could have been removed, but after trying to undo the clamps I wasn't comfortable pulling it out and thinking I could put it back in. So I am letting the water that flowed out of the tubes dry overnight, then I'm going to reassemble the bottom and tip the washer back up and hope that it does the trick, because otherwise I have no towels.
Saturday is free until very late, when my team's on. Which means I have to fear that, for a third week in a row, nobody fucking shows up. It's late, last week my team pissed away a game when they allowed the easiest Hail Mary in human history, and to top it all off, the damn Zombie Pub Crawl's going on in downtown Minneapolis. No one will give a shit about the game, therefore I won't be able to pull off a raffle so I can replenish the club's coffers for a third straight week. God, this sucks. God, I suck.
Even worse, I have to work the Vikings game Sunday afternoon. And since it's the early window, I'll have to get there, oh, around 8 or so. Which means I'll have to wake up around 7. But my alma mater's game starts at 9:30, therefore it's going to be done around 1, which means I have maybe five hours of sleep Sunday morning. I need my beauty rest to get ready for the workweek, and my body will probably be in battle mode on Sunday, if not the entire weekend. And then Monday rolls around, and I'll have to finally train these people on something I don't want them to learn, even though logic says I'll never get this done (which'll make me look bad in the process) on my own.
So plans have fallen through, fixes aren't working, I have to march back into a humiliation that is my responsibility, then I'll have to be tired in order to work a game that'll throw my body clock off just in time to march back into a place where I'll have to do something I hate for people I don't like because otherwise I might get fired. Whoop-de-damn-do!
For a while, though, it looked like I had another slap in the face as to why these two guys should be doing what I have been doing: The work was running out. There are now seven other people (besides me, and after this nice girl was brutally fired from work after helping me pack up Thursday afternoon) going through the consents, and even though they may not be good (there are still mistakes popping up everywhere), they are fast, fast enough that I looked into the boxes and it appeared as if we would have nothing else to do. But a couple people came to the rescue, resupplying us with box after box full of envelopes, ending with a couple boxes that came in just before the end of the day. We're good for work, for a while.
That wasn't why I felt so positive, however. I don't know, but it felt like not just the company but the entire world after I left work (and then went to My Favorite Stripclub [Non-Cover Division], then a liquor store, then a brand new store that opened nearby, then McDonald's to start playing Monopoly) was happy. Maybe it's because it's the start of the weekend, but I don't remember my own spirits being so high on previous Fridays. My feels were mostly of relief that I made it through another workweek without either losing my temper or my job.
Unfortunately the onslaught does not end, and I don't really have a respite this weekend. First of all, I was supposed to meet with my parents' property manager to collect rent checks, but he had to postpone because he doesn't have them all yet. My folks are going to be pissed, and they are already pissed because of the tenants owe them back rent. Then I spent a part of Friday evening trying to fix the washing machine after it gave me the "LD" (long drain) warning signal again. I did it so successfully before that it took me only 15 minutes to unscrew the bottom plate and pull out the pump. But unlike the first time, when I could see that calcified rocks were the reason the pump wasn't pumping out water, there were no obstructions in there this time. There is a filter that also could have been removed, but after trying to undo the clamps I wasn't comfortable pulling it out and thinking I could put it back in. So I am letting the water that flowed out of the tubes dry overnight, then I'm going to reassemble the bottom and tip the washer back up and hope that it does the trick, because otherwise I have no towels.
Saturday is free until very late, when my team's on. Which means I have to fear that, for a third week in a row, nobody fucking shows up. It's late, last week my team pissed away a game when they allowed the easiest Hail Mary in human history, and to top it all off, the damn Zombie Pub Crawl's going on in downtown Minneapolis. No one will give a shit about the game, therefore I won't be able to pull off a raffle so I can replenish the club's coffers for a third straight week. God, this sucks. God, I suck.
Even worse, I have to work the Vikings game Sunday afternoon. And since it's the early window, I'll have to get there, oh, around 8 or so. Which means I'll have to wake up around 7. But my alma mater's game starts at 9:30, therefore it's going to be done around 1, which means I have maybe five hours of sleep Sunday morning. I need my beauty rest to get ready for the workweek, and my body will probably be in battle mode on Sunday, if not the entire weekend. And then Monday rolls around, and I'll have to finally train these people on something I don't want them to learn, even though logic says I'll never get this done (which'll make me look bad in the process) on my own.
So plans have fallen through, fixes aren't working, I have to march back into a humiliation that is my responsibility, then I'll have to be tired in order to work a game that'll throw my body clock off just in time to march back into a place where I'll have to do something I hate for people I don't like because otherwise I might get fired. Whoop-de-damn-do!
Friday, October 10, 2014
I Can't Win
Well, I was kind of surprised, even though I guess I shouldn't have been. After making an appearance at our area in the morning and doing some things for me, my boss, after promising that they would get these two people up and running so I can train them in the next phase of the project (something I still don't want them to do because it's mine, all mine!!), he disappeared. It's not as if he totally forgot. No, he does remember. And it's not as if it's not important to him, because it's important to his boss. But there are other things on his plate that are more important to him, and he needs to do that before he gets to them, and to me.
So, nothing happened. And in the meantime, to placate my boss' boss' wishes, I did the stuff I am supposed to teach these kids on. I have an obsession with the State Fair -- partly because they are the oldest shots, therefore I need to process them first, and partly because I we have, like, 15 of them, and I want them all to be done in one fell swoop. Unfortunately, like putting insurance on them, they're a pain in the ass. Stuff got moved as the assembly fell to my boss' permanent workers, so when I revisited them, I'm going, "Why in the hell did he go from Medicare to Blue Cross Blue Shield?" That throws my count off, which makes me very meticulous in figuring out which consent forms should be together, which means I spent two hours on two packets to make sure they're both organized and being billed for the right amount. As a non-profit, six bucks makes a world of difference.
So, the good news is on Thursday I did not have to give up the tasks I want to keep and was able to do them all to myself. The bad news was I was too slow in doing it. (These State Fair ones are so slow because of all the insurances that come in. It's getting to be so onerous to do every season that I'm beginning to hate the State Fair because of it.) At the end of the day the results were staring right back at me: Boxes upon boxes of shit that needs to be done. There is a chokepoint that rests with me and my billing. Meanwhile, the other temps are churning out about a box, maybe 1 1/2 boxes a day, and so I have to make a new one every day to put them in. That means I'm piling them one on top of another to the point where they're starting to tip. At least I figured out a way to carve out a fifth column.
Unfortunately I have come to the conclusion that I have no choice but to train them. I think I can handle it myself, assuming that there are no new people I have to break in. But the whip is coming down from the CEO, and therefore it's coming down on me, and I can't avoid all these damn boxes piling up. So, the only way to speed up the process of flipping some of these boxes into boxes that are ready to be archived is to, ironically, not do them and teach others how to do them. And that is a bad thing because I will have to speak to two people I find, for the most part, to be unpleasant and not very receptive to teaching. That may be more of the reason I hate to do what I think has to be done.
And that probably will be done tomorrow, even if I said that this time last night. My boss has to deal with those problems because he cannot stand these boxes in the room. Hey, after the State Fair it's going to be smooth sailing. My plan this (Friday) morning is to finish them off first thing, then pile into the corporates, then hopefully amass, like, two boxes that can be sent into the next phase. So then maybe he'll be impressed by my output and let me continue on them independently. Or, he may yet be busy again with other stuff and put fixing the old waves' new computers until next week, or later. Or, I'll be training them tomorrow morning.
Yeah, I have to mentally prepare myself to train them tomorrow morning. Fine. You win.
So, nothing happened. And in the meantime, to placate my boss' boss' wishes, I did the stuff I am supposed to teach these kids on. I have an obsession with the State Fair -- partly because they are the oldest shots, therefore I need to process them first, and partly because I we have, like, 15 of them, and I want them all to be done in one fell swoop. Unfortunately, like putting insurance on them, they're a pain in the ass. Stuff got moved as the assembly fell to my boss' permanent workers, so when I revisited them, I'm going, "Why in the hell did he go from Medicare to Blue Cross Blue Shield?" That throws my count off, which makes me very meticulous in figuring out which consent forms should be together, which means I spent two hours on two packets to make sure they're both organized and being billed for the right amount. As a non-profit, six bucks makes a world of difference.
So, the good news is on Thursday I did not have to give up the tasks I want to keep and was able to do them all to myself. The bad news was I was too slow in doing it. (These State Fair ones are so slow because of all the insurances that come in. It's getting to be so onerous to do every season that I'm beginning to hate the State Fair because of it.) At the end of the day the results were staring right back at me: Boxes upon boxes of shit that needs to be done. There is a chokepoint that rests with me and my billing. Meanwhile, the other temps are churning out about a box, maybe 1 1/2 boxes a day, and so I have to make a new one every day to put them in. That means I'm piling them one on top of another to the point where they're starting to tip. At least I figured out a way to carve out a fifth column.
Unfortunately I have come to the conclusion that I have no choice but to train them. I think I can handle it myself, assuming that there are no new people I have to break in. But the whip is coming down from the CEO, and therefore it's coming down on me, and I can't avoid all these damn boxes piling up. So, the only way to speed up the process of flipping some of these boxes into boxes that are ready to be archived is to, ironically, not do them and teach others how to do them. And that is a bad thing because I will have to speak to two people I find, for the most part, to be unpleasant and not very receptive to teaching. That may be more of the reason I hate to do what I think has to be done.
And that probably will be done tomorrow, even if I said that this time last night. My boss has to deal with those problems because he cannot stand these boxes in the room. Hey, after the State Fair it's going to be smooth sailing. My plan this (Friday) morning is to finish them off first thing, then pile into the corporates, then hopefully amass, like, two boxes that can be sent into the next phase. So then maybe he'll be impressed by my output and let me continue on them independently. Or, he may yet be busy again with other stuff and put fixing the old waves' new computers until next week, or later. Or, I'll be training them tomorrow morning.
Yeah, I have to mentally prepare myself to train them tomorrow morning. Fine. You win.
Thursday, October 9, 2014
Addendum To: First My Tasks, Then My Job
Wednesday morning I was resigned to giving my the tasks I cherish so deeply. But when my boss went in on me saying I need to train the old people (in a week where I spent all my training the new people -- you know, if I hadn't needed to train all these people, I would have been able to do these tasks I cherish so deeply, you know?), that only accelerated what I consider to be a long and difficult goodbye.
So, after about half an hour of planning what I needed to say, I decided to bite the bullet and, because my boss said he was being riden by his boss (who just happens to be the CEO -- that makes the bullet-biting a lot easier to take, I'm afraid) I broke the old people -- who, by the way, are such insular dicks; that makes this training very annoying, as mandatory as it has become -- in on my new task.
But then their computers weren't set up correctly, so there was no training. Which meant that, at least for one more day, these tasks were mine, all mine. Until tomorrow, where apparently fixing their computers is my boss' top priority. We'll see; there was one thing that I have asked for the past two weeks, something even he has said is very important, but I haven't gotten it yet. Also, I told him he needed to call my temp agency, and after I got home the temp agency called me and said they haven't heard from him yet.
So I don't know. Maybe I'll have these tasks all by myself again today (Thursday), and maybe, just maybe, I'll show him that I can do this all by myself. Nah -- he'll probably deliver on his promise in the morning and I'll be training, again, all the damn day.
So, after about half an hour of planning what I needed to say, I decided to bite the bullet and, because my boss said he was being riden by his boss (who just happens to be the CEO -- that makes the bullet-biting a lot easier to take, I'm afraid) I broke the old people -- who, by the way, are such insular dicks; that makes this training very annoying, as mandatory as it has become -- in on my new task.
But then their computers weren't set up correctly, so there was no training. Which meant that, at least for one more day, these tasks were mine, all mine. Until tomorrow, where apparently fixing their computers is my boss' top priority. We'll see; there was one thing that I have asked for the past two weeks, something even he has said is very important, but I haven't gotten it yet. Also, I told him he needed to call my temp agency, and after I got home the temp agency called me and said they haven't heard from him yet.
So I don't know. Maybe I'll have these tasks all by myself again today (Thursday), and maybe, just maybe, I'll show him that I can do this all by myself. Nah -- he'll probably deliver on his promise in the morning and I'll be training, again, all the damn day.
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Re-Entry!). In a week that was as demoralizing as last week was (temporarily) uplifting, we have to give the catbird seat this week to the University of Minnesota women's hockey program, which kicked off its season with convincing wins over Penn St. (8-0) and Boston University (5-2). This team's still got it ... although that don't mean shit considering they shit the bed in last year's embarrassing championship game defeat to Clarkson. (Clarkson!) Sophomore Defenseman Lee Stecklein is the reigning WCHA Defensive Player Of The Week. They remain #1; the salient question is, will they be #1 at the end? They are #-1 here. They visit UMD for a pair this weekend.
#-2: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -2). The bottom falls out in the survey at this point. The footballers suffered a loss to then-#7 Penn St. Worse yet, it came on an own goal. It's funny; when you look at the U.'s recap of the loss, the Minnesota player that last touched the ball on its way to the Gopher goal is not named; the goal is simply listed as "OWN GOAL." And her name shall never be mentioned.
I was at Sunday afternoon's tilt versus Ohio St. Guess I could've cleaned out the gutters, but fuck it. Got there late because the spaghetti I ate late the night before gave me the shits, so I got out of the house a little too late. The public address announcer was aggravating enough (and by the way, "Sweet Caroline" has become such a fucking cliche at games that if I never hear it again it'll be too soon) that I have decided to skip tomorrow (Thursday) night's "Rock The Robbie" match against Nebraska. Didn't miss much; Olivia Schultz kind of lucked into kicking a feed from Haley Helverson into the upper right, but Alexis Degler tied it up on an attempt that ping-ponged off a Gopher (who also shall remain nameless).
After the Cornhuskers, they travel to Illinois and face the Illini Sunday afternoon.
#-3: Vikings (Last Week: -3). So all the promise we saw as they outlasted Atlanta the previous went into the shitter in Thursday's 42-10 dicksmack at the hands of Green Bay (yet another Thursday Night Football blowout, by the way; that none of the games have been even mildly intriguing is a huge surprise). The aspirations probably shriveled when Teddy Bridgewater was ruled out for the game. And no, Christian Ponder didn't prove he could remain a starting Quarterback in the NFL, but that offensive line did him absolutely no favors. It is astonishing how awful that line looked. Matt Kalil, in particular, has been a disappointment. I thought that offensive lineman picked high are set-it-and-forget-it draft picks, but it looks like, sadly, that he too often is a liability, and a problem that the Vikes cannot forget.
It's important to note that this is Mike Zimmer's first year, and I don't think you can expect anything, even an improvement on the year before. Basically this year's a mulligan. So let's see how they fare back at TCF Bank Sunday afternoon as they face the Detroit Lions -- possibly without The Greatest Wide Receiver In The NFL, Calvin Johnson, who is dealing with a high ankle sprain, the worst kind of nagging injury a WR has to deal with.
#-Infinity: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -4). Wow. I don't think I have ever seen this team, this program, as bad as it is right now. In what may be the worst week the U. volleyers have had in decades, they not only lost but were swept in a pair of games on the road, first against ranked Illinois, then against unranked Northwestern. That means that, for the first time since I don't know when, is unranked in the AVC ... wait a second, they're still ranked??? They're still fucking ranked?!?!?! How? Oh, I know -- reputation. At least this isn't college football during the BcS Era, where narrative dictated who got to play for the Mythical National Championship.
Nevertheless this team still blows. And going through this volleyball chat board, I still am not seeing anyone who's, well, upset that this team blows. There are a lot of people trying to calmly diagnose what troubles this team, but it's very surprising that no one's pissed off about this tailspin. I mean, it's a chat board for God's sake. Hell, it's the Internet for God's sake -- you're supposed to have hot takes and strong opinions about why your team sucks.
I wonder if either newspaper ran a front-page story of the Minnesota volleyball team's struggles. If so, I expect this weekend's games against Big Ten newcomers Maryland (Friday) and Rutgers (Saturday) to be packed to the gills filled with casual fans who have come over to the Sports Pavilion for the first time in maybe years to dote after the players and ask, "Honey, are you OK? What's wrong?"
#-2: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -2). The bottom falls out in the survey at this point. The footballers suffered a loss to then-#7 Penn St. Worse yet, it came on an own goal. It's funny; when you look at the U.'s recap of the loss, the Minnesota player that last touched the ball on its way to the Gopher goal is not named; the goal is simply listed as "OWN GOAL." And her name shall never be mentioned.
I was at Sunday afternoon's tilt versus Ohio St. Guess I could've cleaned out the gutters, but fuck it. Got there late because the spaghetti I ate late the night before gave me the shits, so I got out of the house a little too late. The public address announcer was aggravating enough (and by the way, "Sweet Caroline" has become such a fucking cliche at games that if I never hear it again it'll be too soon) that I have decided to skip tomorrow (Thursday) night's "Rock The Robbie" match against Nebraska. Didn't miss much; Olivia Schultz kind of lucked into kicking a feed from Haley Helverson into the upper right, but Alexis Degler tied it up on an attempt that ping-ponged off a Gopher (who also shall remain nameless).
After the Cornhuskers, they travel to Illinois and face the Illini Sunday afternoon.
#-3: Vikings (Last Week: -3). So all the promise we saw as they outlasted Atlanta the previous went into the shitter in Thursday's 42-10 dicksmack at the hands of Green Bay (yet another Thursday Night Football blowout, by the way; that none of the games have been even mildly intriguing is a huge surprise). The aspirations probably shriveled when Teddy Bridgewater was ruled out for the game. And no, Christian Ponder didn't prove he could remain a starting Quarterback in the NFL, but that offensive line did him absolutely no favors. It is astonishing how awful that line looked. Matt Kalil, in particular, has been a disappointment. I thought that offensive lineman picked high are set-it-and-forget-it draft picks, but it looks like, sadly, that he too often is a liability, and a problem that the Vikes cannot forget.
It's important to note that this is Mike Zimmer's first year, and I don't think you can expect anything, even an improvement on the year before. Basically this year's a mulligan. So let's see how they fare back at TCF Bank Sunday afternoon as they face the Detroit Lions -- possibly without The Greatest Wide Receiver In The NFL, Calvin Johnson, who is dealing with a high ankle sprain, the worst kind of nagging injury a WR has to deal with.
#-Infinity: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -4). Wow. I don't think I have ever seen this team, this program, as bad as it is right now. In what may be the worst week the U. volleyers have had in decades, they not only lost but were swept in a pair of games on the road, first against ranked Illinois, then against unranked Northwestern. That means that, for the first time since I don't know when, is unranked in the AVC ... wait a second, they're still ranked??? They're still fucking ranked?!?!?! How? Oh, I know -- reputation. At least this isn't college football during the BcS Era, where narrative dictated who got to play for the Mythical National Championship.
Nevertheless this team still blows. And going through this volleyball chat board, I still am not seeing anyone who's, well, upset that this team blows. There are a lot of people trying to calmly diagnose what troubles this team, but it's very surprising that no one's pissed off about this tailspin. I mean, it's a chat board for God's sake. Hell, it's the Internet for God's sake -- you're supposed to have hot takes and strong opinions about why your team sucks.
I wonder if either newspaper ran a front-page story of the Minnesota volleyball team's struggles. If so, I expect this weekend's games against Big Ten newcomers Maryland (Friday) and Rutgers (Saturday) to be packed to the gills filled with casual fans who have come over to the Sports Pavilion for the first time in maybe years to dote after the players and ask, "Honey, are you OK? What's wrong?"
Tuesday, October 7, 2014
First My Tasks, Then My Job
So today went ... rather quickly. One just upped and quit; I thought she was going on a break, but she never came back. Well, don't expect to get unemployment from us.
But what I benefited from in a quick (though busy) day I lost through yet another back-up of the other things I could be doing, the things I should be doing, the things that I had done in years past and feel comfortable doing. Guess what I was brought in for this year was training, because I'm not doing a whole hell of a lot of anything else. And the ease of knowing what my job entails has been replaced by the constant anxiety of, "Am I telling them the right things?" and "Why in the hell do I wake up in the morning for?" and "What if they think I suck?"
Meanwhile those tasks that I love to do while listening the radio and being left alone are probably going to be taken away from. Before the new wave was brought in, my boss blindsides me that at some I will have to do even more training -- for the guys that have already been there. I have to train them to send bills to companies.
Wait a second -- that's my job. Well, not anymore, apparently. See, since I'm too fucking busy teaching people how to do things (and teaching them incorrectly), someone will have to step in and do my job. Unfortunately, that is a prime opportunity for these two people (two people who I don't completely trust, by the way) to do them faster than I can, even though I pride myself on being thorough and not making mistakes, which these guys still do (and I check; they still do, even after a month on the job). But that doesn't matter to my boss. No; he wants results! And he'll get results, even if his real employees are going to have to clean up the messes they make after they're gone.
Well, that's assuming they go before I do. And that may not necessarily be true, especially at the rate this is all going. I can totally seeing them catching up on the bills before I can even get back to doing them, then my boss will be all impressed, then, around the holidays, he blindsides me again by keeping them on and letting me go. That can happen. That will happen. And there's nothing I can do about it.
He tried that last year. Although I've done this the season before, he offered the one job he was going to keep to this one girl. She said no, partly because she wanted to do something else, but possibly because she didn't like working for my boss. So he settled on me instead, and he came back to me this season. I would have understood if she took it. She was better than me; more importantly, I thought she was really nice, not like these two passive-aggressive dolts who are about to take over my job and eventually get me let go.
So I just do what I'm told, training the people who will eventually replace me, and training them poorly. I'm holding my dick in my hands every day at work, and I slowly see people undercut me from below. And I just continue to cast my fate to the winds because I am unable to do anything else.
But what I benefited from in a quick (though busy) day I lost through yet another back-up of the other things I could be doing, the things I should be doing, the things that I had done in years past and feel comfortable doing. Guess what I was brought in for this year was training, because I'm not doing a whole hell of a lot of anything else. And the ease of knowing what my job entails has been replaced by the constant anxiety of, "Am I telling them the right things?" and "Why in the hell do I wake up in the morning for?" and "What if they think I suck?"
Meanwhile those tasks that I love to do while listening the radio and being left alone are probably going to be taken away from. Before the new wave was brought in, my boss blindsides me that at some I will have to do even more training -- for the guys that have already been there. I have to train them to send bills to companies.
Wait a second -- that's my job. Well, not anymore, apparently. See, since I'm too fucking busy teaching people how to do things (and teaching them incorrectly), someone will have to step in and do my job. Unfortunately, that is a prime opportunity for these two people (two people who I don't completely trust, by the way) to do them faster than I can, even though I pride myself on being thorough and not making mistakes, which these guys still do (and I check; they still do, even after a month on the job). But that doesn't matter to my boss. No; he wants results! And he'll get results, even if his real employees are going to have to clean up the messes they make after they're gone.
Well, that's assuming they go before I do. And that may not necessarily be true, especially at the rate this is all going. I can totally seeing them catching up on the bills before I can even get back to doing them, then my boss will be all impressed, then, around the holidays, he blindsides me again by keeping them on and letting me go. That can happen. That will happen. And there's nothing I can do about it.
He tried that last year. Although I've done this the season before, he offered the one job he was going to keep to this one girl. She said no, partly because she wanted to do something else, but possibly because she didn't like working for my boss. So he settled on me instead, and he came back to me this season. I would have understood if she took it. She was better than me; more importantly, I thought she was really nice, not like these two passive-aggressive dolts who are about to take over my job and eventually get me let go.
So I just do what I'm told, training the people who will eventually replace me, and training them poorly. I'm holding my dick in my hands every day at work, and I slowly see people undercut me from below. And I just continue to cast my fate to the winds because I am unable to do anything else.
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