OK, I just finished the third and final potato my parents left for me to eat. I have read on the Internet that if the potato has green stuff on and in it, cut that out because it's poisonous. So, while watching Empire, I was obsessively looking through every millimeter of that potato to make sure I didn't eat any part of the potato that looks even close to green.
I think I got everything. But right now I feel kind of light-headed. I think this is what you'd feel like if you took LSD. Anyway, if I die, that's why. I ate a bad potato. OK?
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Having Mosquito Spray And Sunscreen When You Need Them
A week-and-a-half ago I went out to water my parents' melons, the only vegetables my parents are having me water and tend to after I (according to them) basically left all of their tomatoes and melons to die in the backyard. I thought for a second to spritz some bug spray on myself; many times in the past I was out there to water the plants or mow the lawn and I get bit by the mosquitoes back there. But since I was going to be out there for at most ten minutes (Father told me to water the melons for between five and ten minutes) I figured, Eh, I'll risk it.
Bad move. As soon as I went to water these craters of dirt Mother made for me to spray the hose onto, I looked at my right thigh, where I saw a mosquito before I felt her venom penetrate my skin. Naturally, I tried to swat and kill it, and of course she escaped. Worse yet, I started to feel the urge to scratch the left side of my neck. Man -- one minute, two mosquito bites.
I find it inconvenient to protect myself from skeeter bites. I have to trudge all the way to the bathroom from the front or back door because I forget just before stepping outside that I should put on some bug spray. Then I have spritz myself all over my bare skin, rubbing it all over my eyes and face, before I could finally feel fully protected from those damn mosquitoes. The prospect of spending so much time doing that often, and then dealing with the smell from the mosquito repellent until I get around to showering, prevents me from putting it on ... until I get bitten, in which case I swear at myself for being too lazy for doing so and swear to always put it on from now on. But then I don't.
Same thing with sunscreen, and that's usually worse because odds are you need to wait 15, 30 minutes before venturing outside. I don't have time to wait until the suntan lotion "activates" on my skin. I know that I can get skin cancer if I don't put it on, but I don't care, I have places to go. Besides, who wants to carry a bottle of sunscreen, or bug spray?
Most people feel the same way about them: They put it on only occasionally, and often only when they remember and have the time. So, at least when it came to sunscreen, someone came up with a great plan. When people went to the Minnesota State Fair, set up stations with sunscreen for people to use for free. Bringing that idea to the State Fair (free sunscreen pumps have been in many other places around the world already) came from a resident/intern at Hennepin County Medical Center as a way to commemorate her father, who died from melanoma three years ago.
As soon as I saw this story on the news, I thought, "My God, that's a fantastic idea!" It promotes health, but it also solves the main problem I have for not applying suntan oil regularly: I do not want to carry a bottle of it around all the time. Whenever I needed to apply it on my skin, I can just go to a station and pump to my heart's content. And I used it the three times I went to the fair. It's such a good idea I tweeted to the State Fair to make this permanent.
It's a lazy way to protect yourself, but I for one can and will take that compromising step if someone extends the indulgence of providing it when I need it, and for free. I wish free sunscreen were available at all outdoor places, and I wish we could have a similar setup for mosquito spray. That way I would never be bit by a mosquito ever again.
Bad move. As soon as I went to water these craters of dirt Mother made for me to spray the hose onto, I looked at my right thigh, where I saw a mosquito before I felt her venom penetrate my skin. Naturally, I tried to swat and kill it, and of course she escaped. Worse yet, I started to feel the urge to scratch the left side of my neck. Man -- one minute, two mosquito bites.
I find it inconvenient to protect myself from skeeter bites. I have to trudge all the way to the bathroom from the front or back door because I forget just before stepping outside that I should put on some bug spray. Then I have spritz myself all over my bare skin, rubbing it all over my eyes and face, before I could finally feel fully protected from those damn mosquitoes. The prospect of spending so much time doing that often, and then dealing with the smell from the mosquito repellent until I get around to showering, prevents me from putting it on ... until I get bitten, in which case I swear at myself for being too lazy for doing so and swear to always put it on from now on. But then I don't.
Same thing with sunscreen, and that's usually worse because odds are you need to wait 15, 30 minutes before venturing outside. I don't have time to wait until the suntan lotion "activates" on my skin. I know that I can get skin cancer if I don't put it on, but I don't care, I have places to go. Besides, who wants to carry a bottle of sunscreen, or bug spray?
Most people feel the same way about them: They put it on only occasionally, and often only when they remember and have the time. So, at least when it came to sunscreen, someone came up with a great plan. When people went to the Minnesota State Fair, set up stations with sunscreen for people to use for free. Bringing that idea to the State Fair (free sunscreen pumps have been in many other places around the world already) came from a resident/intern at Hennepin County Medical Center as a way to commemorate her father, who died from melanoma three years ago.
As soon as I saw this story on the news, I thought, "My God, that's a fantastic idea!" It promotes health, but it also solves the main problem I have for not applying suntan oil regularly: I do not want to carry a bottle of it around all the time. Whenever I needed to apply it on my skin, I can just go to a station and pump to my heart's content. And I used it the three times I went to the fair. It's such a good idea I tweeted to the State Fair to make this permanent.
It's a lazy way to protect yourself, but I for one can and will take that compromising step if someone extends the indulgence of providing it when I need it, and for free. I wish free sunscreen were available at all outdoor places, and I wish we could have a similar setup for mosquito spray. That way I would never be bit by a mosquito ever again.
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
Wasted Eggs
Two weeks since my parents' have gone, so now the food they have left for me is starting to go bad. I'm doing the best I can, and they did get rid of a lot of food, but they left some for me, and I couldn't get to it.
There is other food I have to consume, but the glaring obstacle I believed I would have immense difficulty in eating is the three cartons of eggs they left for me. They thought that I could eat the eggs. They also thought that I have made eggs before. I haven't. Never did, until they left, after which I scoured the Internet and taught myself how in the hell to make eggs.
So this began a trial-and-error on something that only in my advanced age I have appreciated: Learning the fundamental skill of cooking for yourself. I cracked only two eggs, and once I cooked them I realized it wasn't enough. I learned that you should mix the eggs with milk -- and it just so happens that my parents left me some fat-free milk for me to drink, and I just used that instead! But I didn't measure it. I guessed instead, and the result was dry eggs, not the fluffy, creamy eggs that I get when I order eggs at a restaurant. The result, in fact, was like the dry, stiff scrambled eggs (and I always prefer them scrambled) that my Grandmother always made for me when I was young. They weren't bad; that was the way I always had my eggs. But there was a different, and possibly better, way, and that way included using more milk than I used the first time. And I decided to adorn my eggs with salt and pepper and the shredded cheese my parents bought in bulk and the green onions I still need to use. I liked that, and I was going to use that for the rest of the eggs.
I have done it three more times, still trying to learn the best of doing them. Four eggs makes me more than full, but I can still eat it. With the pepper and salt and onions (though not necessarily the cheese, which is Mexican taco cheese), my eggs have this spicy taste to it, and I kind of like that. The problem I still faced was that once the egg curdled and it was ready to go, I had this liquid from the milk that just didn't burn off. I remember having some liquid to drink along with the eggs when I order it when I'm outside, but that's still a pain, and I still worked pouring out just enough so that I would have that annoying water once the eggs were ready to eat.
Until today. I get freaked out about the point at which these eggs I was determined to eat were going to go bad, but I didn't know how to tell until I cracked them open and the yolk looked weird. That's when I went back to my trusted friend the Internet and I learned the old trick about bad eggs floating in water.
It had been a whole weekend since I had eggs because I was working the Vikings game all weekend. To not run into a nasty surprise, I took at first a shallow bowl and then a deeper measuring cup to dunk the eggs.
All but three of them floated. And I still had 17 eggs to go.
After my initial thought of, "Is it possible I already ate eggs that would have floated if I tested them? If so, then I can eat these, right? No?" I thought, "Well, shit." Hey, I wasn't going to get through all of them. But to toss 14 eggs is ... well, a waste is an understatement. Ain't my fault -- my parents bought the eggs, not me. But that still sucks.
And in the meantime I planned to eat some eggs for breakfast. At least I had three, which I tested again and again to make absolutely sure they sank. I also had the rest of the milk I thought I could use completely for these eggs, plus even more green onions that still needed to be used. I tried to rally by making eggs for the fourth (and presumably final, for now) time, but it was kind of a disaster. I used oil instead of butter this time, and the crackling from the oil scared me into spilling the egg/milk batter over the pan and onto the stove. While getting napkins to clean that up I think I let the egg mixture sit in the pan a little too long, so some of the eggs got burned. Or maybe the brown eggs is the result of spoiled eggs. Anyway, I had to cook it a little longer for some reason, so I turned the stove up from low-medium to medium. And then it still wasn't done because the milk wasn't boiling off. Then I figured that it was boiling as quick as before, but there was so much milk with the number of eggs I had this morning compared to the previous two times when I had four eggs, that there was just too much liquid left over. So today, my last day of making eggs, I didn't have eggs, I had egg soup.
On the bright side I finally got done with the milk -- which, by the way, was a week past its expiration date, but I was told in the same link I embedded above that sour milk can be used if you boil it as part of making eggs. But now I have 14 eggs, in two different egg cartons, that I'm going to take to the trash at the gas station while I gas up my parents' minivan and get this free coffee because today apparently is National Coffee Day.
Oh, and I still have leftovers I need to get through. I assume they're not spoiled yet. But I can't dunk noodles or stew or baked potatoes to see if they're rotten yet.
There is other food I have to consume, but the glaring obstacle I believed I would have immense difficulty in eating is the three cartons of eggs they left for me. They thought that I could eat the eggs. They also thought that I have made eggs before. I haven't. Never did, until they left, after which I scoured the Internet and taught myself how in the hell to make eggs.
So this began a trial-and-error on something that only in my advanced age I have appreciated: Learning the fundamental skill of cooking for yourself. I cracked only two eggs, and once I cooked them I realized it wasn't enough. I learned that you should mix the eggs with milk -- and it just so happens that my parents left me some fat-free milk for me to drink, and I just used that instead! But I didn't measure it. I guessed instead, and the result was dry eggs, not the fluffy, creamy eggs that I get when I order eggs at a restaurant. The result, in fact, was like the dry, stiff scrambled eggs (and I always prefer them scrambled) that my Grandmother always made for me when I was young. They weren't bad; that was the way I always had my eggs. But there was a different, and possibly better, way, and that way included using more milk than I used the first time. And I decided to adorn my eggs with salt and pepper and the shredded cheese my parents bought in bulk and the green onions I still need to use. I liked that, and I was going to use that for the rest of the eggs.
I have done it three more times, still trying to learn the best of doing them. Four eggs makes me more than full, but I can still eat it. With the pepper and salt and onions (though not necessarily the cheese, which is Mexican taco cheese), my eggs have this spicy taste to it, and I kind of like that. The problem I still faced was that once the egg curdled and it was ready to go, I had this liquid from the milk that just didn't burn off. I remember having some liquid to drink along with the eggs when I order it when I'm outside, but that's still a pain, and I still worked pouring out just enough so that I would have that annoying water once the eggs were ready to eat.
Until today. I get freaked out about the point at which these eggs I was determined to eat were going to go bad, but I didn't know how to tell until I cracked them open and the yolk looked weird. That's when I went back to my trusted friend the Internet and I learned the old trick about bad eggs floating in water.
It had been a whole weekend since I had eggs because I was working the Vikings game all weekend. To not run into a nasty surprise, I took at first a shallow bowl and then a deeper measuring cup to dunk the eggs.
All but three of them floated. And I still had 17 eggs to go.
After my initial thought of, "Is it possible I already ate eggs that would have floated if I tested them? If so, then I can eat these, right? No?" I thought, "Well, shit." Hey, I wasn't going to get through all of them. But to toss 14 eggs is ... well, a waste is an understatement. Ain't my fault -- my parents bought the eggs, not me. But that still sucks.
And in the meantime I planned to eat some eggs for breakfast. At least I had three, which I tested again and again to make absolutely sure they sank. I also had the rest of the milk I thought I could use completely for these eggs, plus even more green onions that still needed to be used. I tried to rally by making eggs for the fourth (and presumably final, for now) time, but it was kind of a disaster. I used oil instead of butter this time, and the crackling from the oil scared me into spilling the egg/milk batter over the pan and onto the stove. While getting napkins to clean that up I think I let the egg mixture sit in the pan a little too long, so some of the eggs got burned. Or maybe the brown eggs is the result of spoiled eggs. Anyway, I had to cook it a little longer for some reason, so I turned the stove up from low-medium to medium. And then it still wasn't done because the milk wasn't boiling off. Then I figured that it was boiling as quick as before, but there was so much milk with the number of eggs I had this morning compared to the previous two times when I had four eggs, that there was just too much liquid left over. So today, my last day of making eggs, I didn't have eggs, I had egg soup.
On the bright side I finally got done with the milk -- which, by the way, was a week past its expiration date, but I was told in the same link I embedded above that sour milk can be used if you boil it as part of making eggs. But now I have 14 eggs, in two different egg cartons, that I'm going to take to the trash at the gas station while I gas up my parents' minivan and get this free coffee because today apparently is National Coffee Day.
Oh, and I still have leftovers I need to get through. I assume they're not spoiled yet. But I can't dunk noodles or stew or baked potatoes to see if they're rotten yet.
Monday, September 28, 2015
Argh! Why Did I Do That? I'm So Stupid!
I thought he dropped that sheet. He even said, "Shit!" indicating to me that it slipped out of his hands. So, even though I am not supposed to go over to his work area, I picked it up for him. Because I'm supposed to help.
He sees that sheet of paper, gives it a once-over, and then throws it back down. And then I realize: He meant to throw it on the floor. He wanted to get that out of the way. Shit! God, why didn't I think he meant to do that on purpose?! He must think I'm an idiot. He didn't speak to me at all, and thank God, being behind him for most of the game he seems to be one of very few people in his position who isn't verbally abusive. But I can tell he thought of me like, "What the hell are you doing?"
God, I keep screwing up in this job. I hate it.
Missed Sunday Night Football, Lunar Blood Moon, CSI
This is a sure indicator of how wiped out I was after pulling in ten-hour days at the Vikings, hosting a game-watching party late at night and going to a soccer match and a party: Even though I had three reasons to stay up this evening -- the Broncos-Lions Sunday night football game, the combination of the full moon and lunar eclipse, and the series finale of CSI, I missed all of it, all of it, because I was too damn tired and fell asleep.
It was around 8 o'clock, and although I thought I could stay up, I knew my body was trying to tell me something. So, now that I have moved back into my sister's bedroom (because, as you know, that really is my bedroom), I turned the TV on in the dining room, turned the volume on to a level where I could hear it but just barely, went to the bedroom, kept the door open, laid myself on the bed and see where the night and my body took me. I would be able to listen to the game without having the glare of the TV screen burn through my closed eyes, and hey, if it turns out I wasn't sleepy, I could keep track of the game till I decided to give up on rest.
But I did not give up on rest. Oh no sirree. I went to bed around 8 and woke up around 1:30. In vain I went outside to see if I could at least catch the tail end of the lunar blood moon thing, but there were clouds obscuring it. Was it cloudy all evening? If so, there was nothing to miss. But I've been on Facebook and have seen all my friends -- all of them -- posting pictures of the Lunar Blood Moon, so I guess it was clear tonight ... when I was dead asleep.
On top of that I missed the very last CSI. I will admit that I never watched a full episode of that show, never in its dozen (?) years. But I respect the longevity and I wanted to give proper deference to a show that was vitally important not only to the history of the Columbia Broadcasting Station but also to a new kind of subgenre: The nerdy, detailed, science-focused drama. Although I'm sure real scientists could sift through an episode and point out dozens of instances where the CSI people did it totally wrong, it ushered a different type of detective show, where files and fingerprints were replaced with DNA matches and blood splatter arrays. It ushered in new vehicles of creating and developing plot lines. And, in its shallow way, it made science sexy. That is what CSI introduced to television, way beyond its children preceded in death in Miami and New York and its only living progeny, CSI: Cyber. For that, I was going to at least watch the very final segment of the show -- which came just after the half-hour-ish period of full totality of the lunar eclipse, approximately from 9:15 to 9:45. But I missed all of that, of course.
Oh, well. I heard the game wasn't that good. At least there was nothing to miss there.
It was around 8 o'clock, and although I thought I could stay up, I knew my body was trying to tell me something. So, now that I have moved back into my sister's bedroom (because, as you know, that really is my bedroom), I turned the TV on in the dining room, turned the volume on to a level where I could hear it but just barely, went to the bedroom, kept the door open, laid myself on the bed and see where the night and my body took me. I would be able to listen to the game without having the glare of the TV screen burn through my closed eyes, and hey, if it turns out I wasn't sleepy, I could keep track of the game till I decided to give up on rest.
But I did not give up on rest. Oh no sirree. I went to bed around 8 and woke up around 1:30. In vain I went outside to see if I could at least catch the tail end of the lunar blood moon thing, but there were clouds obscuring it. Was it cloudy all evening? If so, there was nothing to miss. But I've been on Facebook and have seen all my friends -- all of them -- posting pictures of the Lunar Blood Moon, so I guess it was clear tonight ... when I was dead asleep.
On top of that I missed the very last CSI. I will admit that I never watched a full episode of that show, never in its dozen (?) years. But I respect the longevity and I wanted to give proper deference to a show that was vitally important not only to the history of the Columbia Broadcasting Station but also to a new kind of subgenre: The nerdy, detailed, science-focused drama. Although I'm sure real scientists could sift through an episode and point out dozens of instances where the CSI people did it totally wrong, it ushered a different type of detective show, where files and fingerprints were replaced with DNA matches and blood splatter arrays. It ushered in new vehicles of creating and developing plot lines. And, in its shallow way, it made science sexy. That is what CSI introduced to television, way beyond its children preceded in death in Miami and New York and its only living progeny, CSI: Cyber. For that, I was going to at least watch the very final segment of the show -- which came just after the half-hour-ish period of full totality of the lunar eclipse, approximately from 9:15 to 9:45. But I missed all of that, of course.
Oh, well. I heard the game wasn't that good. At least there was nothing to miss there.
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Grandmother, Where Are You?
I had thought that since my parents are out of town, that would mean I would speak to Grandmother more often because I would feel free to contact her while I'm at home and not need to call her only on those nights where I'm out. But it's actually been just the opposite; frankly, Grandmother has never been more out of my mind more than recently. Guess that with the pressure of finding the time to talk to her off, I don't feel the need to devote time to remember her.
I have tried to talk to her a couple times. First time, which was more than a week ago, we exchanged pleasantries. The next time a man, whom I believe is her biological son, told me to call back "in the morning" -- which translates, via time zone, to 12 hours later, when it was nighttime here and morning there. I did that ... and the contact number I have always used to speak to her was, according to the robotic, disembodied voice, disconnected. Disconnected? Got the same thing when I tried it again.
A disconnected line? Her son saying to try to call them the next morning? While I got lazy, something happened. Is the son trying to hide something? Is something wrong with Grandmother? Did something happen? Is she still there? Man, I need to try again. And in the meantime I'm going to try and talk to my sister about it. She probably has a better pulse on what the heck is going on.
I have tried to talk to her a couple times. First time, which was more than a week ago, we exchanged pleasantries. The next time a man, whom I believe is her biological son, told me to call back "in the morning" -- which translates, via time zone, to 12 hours later, when it was nighttime here and morning there. I did that ... and the contact number I have always used to speak to her was, according to the robotic, disembodied voice, disconnected. Disconnected? Got the same thing when I tried it again.
A disconnected line? Her son saying to try to call them the next morning? While I got lazy, something happened. Is the son trying to hide something? Is something wrong with Grandmother? Did something happen? Is she still there? Man, I need to try again. And in the meantime I'm going to try and talk to my sister about it. She probably has a better pulse on what the heck is going on.
Saturday, September 26, 2015
Busy Weekend
First time I have worked a game for an entire weekend (three days). Could use the money, but usually people work during the work and then have the weekend off. I am just the opposite. Works for me.
It's really going to suck starting tonight. The alma mater has a game I have to "host" downtown tonight. And since they lost last week they are shunted to the late window of 9:30. So that means that I get to go home as soon as I'm released (cross your fingers), water the plants and vegetables, go take a nap, get to downtown on time, watch the late game with as few people as possible and without the sound on because I'm going to be disrespected by the manager there, get home around 1 and fall instantly to bed ... because I have to get up around 6 to get to work for the game on Sunday.
Next week I neither have a game to work nor a game to host. Feast or famine. I would like not to step foot outside the house next weekend.
It's really going to suck starting tonight. The alma mater has a game I have to "host" downtown tonight. And since they lost last week they are shunted to the late window of 9:30. So that means that I get to go home as soon as I'm released (cross your fingers), water the plants and vegetables, go take a nap, get to downtown on time, watch the late game with as few people as possible and without the sound on because I'm going to be disrespected by the manager there, get home around 1 and fall instantly to bed ... because I have to get up around 6 to get to work for the game on Sunday.
Next week I neither have a game to work nor a game to host. Feast or famine. I would like not to step foot outside the house next weekend.
Friday, September 25, 2015
In A Sign Of How Unhygienic I Am ...
... last night was the first time I brushed my teeth in over a week. I think. I believe that's the case because I don't remember ever brushing my teeth after dropping my parents off at the airport, and that was last week.
You know, I get busy, you know? And the great thing about unemployment is you don't feel the need to impress anyone by brushing your teeth. I just felt I had to now because, well, I felt my teeth was rotting without a good cleaning. I mean, at some point I had to, and last night was that point. Even then, however, I wasn't planning on doing it. I have to go to work early today (another reason to brush my teeth, I guess) and I was going to go to bed without doing it because it would maximize my sleeping time. But in the end I thought to myself, "Man, it's time." So I did.
Hey, not all of these blog posts are going to be revelations. In fact, most of them aren't.
Thursday, September 24, 2015
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
Positive Numbers: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -1). I don't remember, in the history of the WMNSS, a team that has had such a surprisingly good week than the University of Minnesota women's soccer. A side that drew twice against fellow BcS schools and lost what appeared to be a bubble-team deciding game against LSU began what any club in the Big Ten would see as the toughest road trip you can take in-conference, against an Ohio St. club that is ranked in the bottom reaches of some Top 25's and then against top ten-ranked and presumptive conference champion Penn St. -- and beat both of them. Drawing against both would have been ceiling for this squad's prospects. That they outright won both games? They cleared their biggest hurdle with flying obstacles, and now it feels as though they are playing with house money.
Against the Buckeyes in Thursday's conference opener, Lindsay Agnew gave OSU a 1-0 lead in the 13th minute off a rebound from a shot by Nichelle Prince. It took until well into the second half for the Gophers to respond, but they did -- first by Sydney Squires from 18 yards out in the 67th minute, then by B1G Offensive Player Of The Week and unheralded striker Simone Kolander (stuffing in her own rebound) in the 80th. When you outshoot Ohio St. 16-9, that usually means you'll get more goals, and Minnesota did.
The win over the Nittany Lions is still very surprising. The Gophers stayed tight in the backline (they gave up eleven Corner Kicks while getting only six) and was able to make their only tally, in the 32nd minute stick. And who made the tally? Simone Kolander, off assists from Haley Helverson (the person who captains the team alongside Kolander) and Squires:
Kolander and the team deservedly got a lot of plaudits for their week, but I thought those two upset road wins would vault them into all the Top 25 polls, and it hasn't. At least one poll has Minnesota in the Top 25; at least one poll does not. What the hell does this squad need to do to get the respect they still haven't entirely received?
So, as of right now, they have to be in the NCAA Tournament. The toughest part of their regular season schedule is now behind them. They have more home games than road games, although three of those roadies come back-to-back-to-back. They have won four in a row and are unbeaten in their last six matches. And if you include the 9-1 ass-whipping they put on Nebraska-Omaha before they embarked on this two-game road trip, they have never been in better form -- this season, and maybe ever.
They should get a warm reception (and a large crowd) Friday when they host Purdue at Robbie Stadium. (I'll be there, I think.) They then host Indiana Sunday afternoon.
#0: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -1). Having almost as good a screening week as the U. soccer team is the U. volleyball team. Last weekend they had (using a soccer phrase) three clean sheets in sweeping Bryant, Sam Houston State and the College Of Charleston in the Charleston Invite. Three patsies, so it's not that impressive. However, last (Wednesday) night's five-set win at AVCA #12 Ohio St. is very impressive. It got tough near the end; they took the first two sets (Set 2 at 12), but a narrow 23 loss in Set 3 ebbed their momentum and gave the Buckeyes Set 4 at 19. In the fifth and deciding set, Minnesota lost a 5-2 lead, but ripped off the final four points of the set and match (the last three kill shots by Daly Santana) to take it 15-11. Santana finished the win over OSU with 19 kills, but before the conference season began the Big Ten named Setter Samantha Seliger-Swenson (who notched 53 assists against the Buckeyes) has been named a Freshman Of The Week for the third week in a row.
So after a rough two-game losing streak to begin the year, this club has won nine in a row and are now in the Top 25. The sledding remains tough, however. They are at #1-ranked Penn St. Saturday evening, then begin the home portion of the B1G schedule Wednesday night against Northwestern.
#-1: Vikings (Last Week: -4). Well, that's better. Against the Detroit Lions, a team some people think will be a Wild Card and could challenge Green Bay in the NFC North, they were largely in control, winning 26-16. When the opponent turns the ball over three times, you should win.
There are still some weaknesses on the Vikes, lots of them. Most of them surround Adrian Peterson. The 134 yards rushing and 58 receiving masks the fact that he has lost a noticeable step, or two, when he's handed the ball. He no longer has the burst of speed to exploit a hole in the line and get into the second level. He now has happy feet, choosing to cut when the All Day of old would have burst through a seam -- or a player.
Worst of all, watching the game, I don't think he's fully paying attention on the field. I had heard that Quarterback Teddy Bridgewater (who had a good game Sunday, even though it was through a pop-gun passing game) frequently had to tell Peterson what play they were going to run. That 49-yard improvised pass from Bridgewater to AP only happened because Peterson blew a blocking assignment; he has never been willing to pick up blitzes. And, of course, there are those three fumbles. One of them was neutralized on a penalty, one he recovered, the last was the only turnover Minnesota had in the game. Remember that Peterson was plagued with fumble-itis the first two years of his career but it was mostly gone since. I think that these fumbles, when added to the other things you notice about him, point to inattention -- if not indifference.
They team isn't 0-2. But do you really know how good or bad this team is? Maybe we'll get some clarity when they host The Bastard Los Angeles Chargers Sunday.
#-2: Gopher football (Last Week: -2). I assume that the Vikings and the Gophers talk to each other when it comes to schedules. Because this will be two weekends in a row where the college football team takes the field Saturday, then the pro team they are Airbnb'ing plays on the same turf Sunday. This is the second (and final) year of this arrangement, and by now they have the routine down. They actually got the Vikings logo put down over the "M" logo between the games. And I have been told that after the Gophers game they change the colors in the "MINNESOTA" in both end zones from maroon-and-gold to purple-and-gold by laying down this special paint/dust that, after the Vikings game is over, can be collected up by a vacuum, revealing the permanent maroon-and-gold paint underneath.
All well and good. But wouldn't it be actually better for only one of these teams to play at TCF Bank Stadium every week so the facilities crew wouldn't have to do this any week, let alone two weeks in a row? I assumed that, because the Gophs begin playing most of their cupcake games at home, the ViQueens will start their season on the road. Then, once the college team ends its season by Thanksgiving, the Vikes can take over the stadium for, say, three of their eight home games in December. I think that would be better, wouldn't it?
OK, anyway ... they got really lucky outlasting Kent St. 10-7. Offense remains a huge problem; Quarterback Mitch Leidner threw for only 184 yards. It got so bad that his backup was seen on the sidelines warming up. But he never got in.
When asked about this QB controversy (and there is one, or at least there should be), Head Coach Jerry Kill did something I have never seen him do: He would not comment. And he said he wouldn't talk about Leidner even though he was asked four or five times about it. He then got really self-pitying in his post-game press conference, sheepishly reminding the media that they won and hinted that the fans booing the offense whenever they had to punt meant that he was about to be fired ... "But that's OK," Kill said, "we have a lake home."
This behavior is beneath any HC, and certainly one who I once thought of as a grown-up. I really thought that he would be forthright and answer the media's totally fair questions, or be a little more artful in evading them. That he would utter "no comment" and then follow that up with saying that maybe he should be fired ... well, he's shrunk a little in my eyes.
And I don't know why Kill would feel so defensive. This article on SI.com illuminates how he's pulling in the best recruiting classes Minnesota has ever seen. The nut graf, the main thrust of the article, is that Kill is finally reaping great dividends from reaching out beyond Minnesota to recruit as he got Dredrick Snelson, a four-star recruit from Florida, to come up north. Maybe. It's a verbal commitment, and he still will visit with Florida and Louisville. But he says he'll be going to Jerrysota. Now, Coach Kill, why all this talk that you should be fired if you've got this Snelson kid coming up from Florida to play for you?
Meanwhile the defense is being held up as a bastion of the great play Kill is instilling in this program, but the opponents in their two wins isn't exactly the '99 St. Louis Rams here. And I do not know if we're going to get any more clarity on how good this squad is in this early Saturday afternoon's Homecoming game against Ohio.
#-3: Twins (Last Week: -3). I don't know how to think about how the Twinks did this screening week. Sunday's 8-1 win over The Anaheim Angels Of Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim Angels Of ... prevented them from getting swept at home; nonetheless they helped revive the Wild Card chances of an Angels team that were on the outskirts of the race. But a pair of two-run victories over another team on the outskirts, Cleveland, has leveled their week at 3-3. Moreover, as the Houston Astros are now chopping, the Twins stand only one game behind the 'Stros for American League Wild Card 2 (although the Angels stand only 1/2-game behind Minnesota). They go 3-3 this week and they are even closer to ALWC2 than this time last week.
Pitching is now going to make or break this team. Phil Hughes, filling in for an ailing Tommy Millone, was able to outpitch Corey Kluber in last (Wednesday) night's win. Mike Pelfrey might be scuffling. The bullpen is being used to its capacity now. And even though they are no longer playing any team with a better record than them, it only takes one starter to put a spanner in the Twins' works.
I was wrong last week: This is not the last homestand of the season. They come back to Target Field to finish the year in October; I just didn't see it because I was only looking at September. And looking at September, I see that this screening week ends on the 30th. Which means that they finish the current homestand with a game against Cleveland this (Thursday) evening, then finish the final road trip of the season with a pair of three-game series against Detroit and Cleveland.
#-4: Gopher men's basketball (Re-Entry!). Their season doesn't start until mid-November, but I have to put this team in because they had a pretty good week off the court. Monday, Guard Amir Coffey, the top-ranked basketball recruit in the state of Minnesota (and son of Gophers star Richard Coffey), chose to stay at home and play for Richard Pitino. Then, on Wednesday, Arkansas Power Forward Eric Curry said he is coming up here to play for the Gophs as well. That's two four-star recruits in three days. I don't think Pitino has had recruiting coups such as this.
Now, to win.
#-5: Lynx (Last Week: -5). Yeah, yeah, yeah, they beat the Los Angeles Sparks to win their First Round Western Conference playoff series. But I still think the writing's on the wall with this godforsaken club. They needed three games to beat the Sparks -- not two, three. And that road loss in Game 2 they lost by ten, 81-71. Worst of all, they only beat L.A. in Game 1 by a bucket, 67-65. If they lost to Los Angeles in Game 1, they would've been swept out of the playoffs. The top seed in the Western Conference could have been swept in the first round of the WNBA Playoffs.
So I'm supposed to think they stand a chance against a 2-seed Phoenix Mercury team with Brittney Griner on full lock? I mean, they only needed two games to beat Tulsa, and they have been off since playing Saturday. The Jynx needed to play on Tuesday (where they won by 11, I'll give you that) and have a two-day turnaround. Plus, Minnesota's older. Tonight's (Thursday night's) Game 1 at Target Center could be a fucking disaster ... and the last game Lynx fans will see their team play at home.
Against the Buckeyes in Thursday's conference opener, Lindsay Agnew gave OSU a 1-0 lead in the 13th minute off a rebound from a shot by Nichelle Prince. It took until well into the second half for the Gophers to respond, but they did -- first by Sydney Squires from 18 yards out in the 67th minute, then by B1G Offensive Player Of The Week and unheralded striker Simone Kolander (stuffing in her own rebound) in the 80th. When you outshoot Ohio St. 16-9, that usually means you'll get more goals, and Minnesota did.
The win over the Nittany Lions is still very surprising. The Gophers stayed tight in the backline (they gave up eleven Corner Kicks while getting only six) and was able to make their only tally, in the 32nd minute stick. And who made the tally? Simone Kolander, off assists from Haley Helverson (the person who captains the team alongside Kolander) and Squires:
Kolander and the team deservedly got a lot of plaudits for their week, but I thought those two upset road wins would vault them into all the Top 25 polls, and it hasn't. At least one poll has Minnesota in the Top 25; at least one poll does not. What the hell does this squad need to do to get the respect they still haven't entirely received?
So, as of right now, they have to be in the NCAA Tournament. The toughest part of their regular season schedule is now behind them. They have more home games than road games, although three of those roadies come back-to-back-to-back. They have won four in a row and are unbeaten in their last six matches. And if you include the 9-1 ass-whipping they put on Nebraska-Omaha before they embarked on this two-game road trip, they have never been in better form -- this season, and maybe ever.
They should get a warm reception (and a large crowd) Friday when they host Purdue at Robbie Stadium. (I'll be there, I think.) They then host Indiana Sunday afternoon.
#0: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -1). Having almost as good a screening week as the U. soccer team is the U. volleyball team. Last weekend they had (using a soccer phrase) three clean sheets in sweeping Bryant, Sam Houston State and the College Of Charleston in the Charleston Invite. Three patsies, so it's not that impressive. However, last (Wednesday) night's five-set win at AVCA #12 Ohio St. is very impressive. It got tough near the end; they took the first two sets (Set 2 at 12), but a narrow 23 loss in Set 3 ebbed their momentum and gave the Buckeyes Set 4 at 19. In the fifth and deciding set, Minnesota lost a 5-2 lead, but ripped off the final four points of the set and match (the last three kill shots by Daly Santana) to take it 15-11. Santana finished the win over OSU with 19 kills, but before the conference season began the Big Ten named Setter Samantha Seliger-Swenson (who notched 53 assists against the Buckeyes) has been named a Freshman Of The Week for the third week in a row.
So after a rough two-game losing streak to begin the year, this club has won nine in a row and are now in the Top 25. The sledding remains tough, however. They are at #1-ranked Penn St. Saturday evening, then begin the home portion of the B1G schedule Wednesday night against Northwestern.
#-1: Vikings (Last Week: -4). Well, that's better. Against the Detroit Lions, a team some people think will be a Wild Card and could challenge Green Bay in the NFC North, they were largely in control, winning 26-16. When the opponent turns the ball over three times, you should win.
There are still some weaknesses on the Vikes, lots of them. Most of them surround Adrian Peterson. The 134 yards rushing and 58 receiving masks the fact that he has lost a noticeable step, or two, when he's handed the ball. He no longer has the burst of speed to exploit a hole in the line and get into the second level. He now has happy feet, choosing to cut when the All Day of old would have burst through a seam -- or a player.
Worst of all, watching the game, I don't think he's fully paying attention on the field. I had heard that Quarterback Teddy Bridgewater (who had a good game Sunday, even though it was through a pop-gun passing game) frequently had to tell Peterson what play they were going to run. That 49-yard improvised pass from Bridgewater to AP only happened because Peterson blew a blocking assignment; he has never been willing to pick up blitzes. And, of course, there are those three fumbles. One of them was neutralized on a penalty, one he recovered, the last was the only turnover Minnesota had in the game. Remember that Peterson was plagued with fumble-itis the first two years of his career but it was mostly gone since. I think that these fumbles, when added to the other things you notice about him, point to inattention -- if not indifference.
They team isn't 0-2. But do you really know how good or bad this team is? Maybe we'll get some clarity when they host The Bastard Los Angeles Chargers Sunday.
#-2: Gopher football (Last Week: -2). I assume that the Vikings and the Gophers talk to each other when it comes to schedules. Because this will be two weekends in a row where the college football team takes the field Saturday, then the pro team they are Airbnb'ing plays on the same turf Sunday. This is the second (and final) year of this arrangement, and by now they have the routine down. They actually got the Vikings logo put down over the "M" logo between the games. And I have been told that after the Gophers game they change the colors in the "MINNESOTA" in both end zones from maroon-and-gold to purple-and-gold by laying down this special paint/dust that, after the Vikings game is over, can be collected up by a vacuum, revealing the permanent maroon-and-gold paint underneath.
All well and good. But wouldn't it be actually better for only one of these teams to play at TCF Bank Stadium every week so the facilities crew wouldn't have to do this any week, let alone two weeks in a row? I assumed that, because the Gophs begin playing most of their cupcake games at home, the ViQueens will start their season on the road. Then, once the college team ends its season by Thanksgiving, the Vikes can take over the stadium for, say, three of their eight home games in December. I think that would be better, wouldn't it?
OK, anyway ... they got really lucky outlasting Kent St. 10-7. Offense remains a huge problem; Quarterback Mitch Leidner threw for only 184 yards. It got so bad that his backup was seen on the sidelines warming up. But he never got in.
When asked about this QB controversy (and there is one, or at least there should be), Head Coach Jerry Kill did something I have never seen him do: He would not comment. And he said he wouldn't talk about Leidner even though he was asked four or five times about it. He then got really self-pitying in his post-game press conference, sheepishly reminding the media that they won and hinted that the fans booing the offense whenever they had to punt meant that he was about to be fired ... "But that's OK," Kill said, "we have a lake home."
This behavior is beneath any HC, and certainly one who I once thought of as a grown-up. I really thought that he would be forthright and answer the media's totally fair questions, or be a little more artful in evading them. That he would utter "no comment" and then follow that up with saying that maybe he should be fired ... well, he's shrunk a little in my eyes.
And I don't know why Kill would feel so defensive. This article on SI.com illuminates how he's pulling in the best recruiting classes Minnesota has ever seen. The nut graf, the main thrust of the article, is that Kill is finally reaping great dividends from reaching out beyond Minnesota to recruit as he got Dredrick Snelson, a four-star recruit from Florida, to come up north. Maybe. It's a verbal commitment, and he still will visit with Florida and Louisville. But he says he'll be going to Jerrysota. Now, Coach Kill, why all this talk that you should be fired if you've got this Snelson kid coming up from Florida to play for you?
Meanwhile the defense is being held up as a bastion of the great play Kill is instilling in this program, but the opponents in their two wins isn't exactly the '99 St. Louis Rams here. And I do not know if we're going to get any more clarity on how good this squad is in this early Saturday afternoon's Homecoming game against Ohio.
#-3: Twins (Last Week: -3). I don't know how to think about how the Twinks did this screening week. Sunday's 8-1 win over The Anaheim Angels Of Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim Angels Of ... prevented them from getting swept at home; nonetheless they helped revive the Wild Card chances of an Angels team that were on the outskirts of the race. But a pair of two-run victories over another team on the outskirts, Cleveland, has leveled their week at 3-3. Moreover, as the Houston Astros are now chopping, the Twins stand only one game behind the 'Stros for American League Wild Card 2 (although the Angels stand only 1/2-game behind Minnesota). They go 3-3 this week and they are even closer to ALWC2 than this time last week.
Pitching is now going to make or break this team. Phil Hughes, filling in for an ailing Tommy Millone, was able to outpitch Corey Kluber in last (Wednesday) night's win. Mike Pelfrey might be scuffling. The bullpen is being used to its capacity now. And even though they are no longer playing any team with a better record than them, it only takes one starter to put a spanner in the Twins' works.
I was wrong last week: This is not the last homestand of the season. They come back to Target Field to finish the year in October; I just didn't see it because I was only looking at September. And looking at September, I see that this screening week ends on the 30th. Which means that they finish the current homestand with a game against Cleveland this (Thursday) evening, then finish the final road trip of the season with a pair of three-game series against Detroit and Cleveland.
#-4: Gopher men's basketball (Re-Entry!). Their season doesn't start until mid-November, but I have to put this team in because they had a pretty good week off the court. Monday, Guard Amir Coffey, the top-ranked basketball recruit in the state of Minnesota (and son of Gophers star Richard Coffey), chose to stay at home and play for Richard Pitino. Then, on Wednesday, Arkansas Power Forward Eric Curry said he is coming up here to play for the Gophs as well. That's two four-star recruits in three days. I don't think Pitino has had recruiting coups such as this.
Now, to win.
#-5: Lynx (Last Week: -5). Yeah, yeah, yeah, they beat the Los Angeles Sparks to win their First Round Western Conference playoff series. But I still think the writing's on the wall with this godforsaken club. They needed three games to beat the Sparks -- not two, three. And that road loss in Game 2 they lost by ten, 81-71. Worst of all, they only beat L.A. in Game 1 by a bucket, 67-65. If they lost to Los Angeles in Game 1, they would've been swept out of the playoffs. The top seed in the Western Conference could have been swept in the first round of the WNBA Playoffs.
So I'm supposed to think they stand a chance against a 2-seed Phoenix Mercury team with Brittney Griner on full lock? I mean, they only needed two games to beat Tulsa, and they have been off since playing Saturday. The Jynx needed to play on Tuesday (where they won by 11, I'll give you that) and have a two-day turnaround. Plus, Minnesota's older. Tonight's (Thursday night's) Game 1 at Target Center could be a fucking disaster ... and the last game Lynx fans will see their team play at home.
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
The Season Of Shockingly Productive Shitting May Be Over
Happy Autumnal Equinox/First Day Of Fall, everybody!
This time last week, I had a lot of food for our alumni club's trivia night -- I mean, like, a lot. It was an effort to pump up the funds we'd get kicked back to us after I was ... "told" that we're not making enough money for them. So naturally I felt it in my bowels that evening and the following morning.
But the defecation kept coming for the next week or so. And they were painful, too. It felt like liquefied shit was coming out of me, but when I get up and look down, I just see solid shits in the bowl. But they did not have the smooth surface of my ordinary feces; many of them were very light brown and looked rough on the surface, like barnacles started living on them.
I thought I still wasn't eating right after the trivia night, but even in times where I hadn't eaten in hours, I felt these sharp pangs in my side, and I knew it was time to go. And these powerful, painful shits seemed to keep going even after I, say, ate an apple, or drank just a cup of coffee.
What felt like this final "bad" bowel movement happened yesterday morning, and I think my regularity has gone back to regular. And then I thought that the reason I was running to the bathroom so much this past week wasn't because of the pub food I ate but the time of the season. I love the fall, but my body goes through some pretty significant changes after Labor Day and the weather begins to cool. In this case, I think my body is passing through all of the ... "stuff" it would keep in my body if it were summer and it was still hot outside. Maybe that was what all that was about.
And the thing is, it's not that cold, at least not yet. We've had a few days in the sixties, and it's been cloudy from time to time. And today's supposed to be a completely rainy day. But temps are supposed to reach 80 this weekend, where it'll also be beautifully sunny. So I guess I shouldn't expect to shit (at least not more than usual) this week.
This time last week, I had a lot of food for our alumni club's trivia night -- I mean, like, a lot. It was an effort to pump up the funds we'd get kicked back to us after I was ... "told" that we're not making enough money for them. So naturally I felt it in my bowels that evening and the following morning.
But the defecation kept coming for the next week or so. And they were painful, too. It felt like liquefied shit was coming out of me, but when I get up and look down, I just see solid shits in the bowl. But they did not have the smooth surface of my ordinary feces; many of them were very light brown and looked rough on the surface, like barnacles started living on them.
I thought I still wasn't eating right after the trivia night, but even in times where I hadn't eaten in hours, I felt these sharp pangs in my side, and I knew it was time to go. And these powerful, painful shits seemed to keep going even after I, say, ate an apple, or drank just a cup of coffee.
What felt like this final "bad" bowel movement happened yesterday morning, and I think my regularity has gone back to regular. And then I thought that the reason I was running to the bathroom so much this past week wasn't because of the pub food I ate but the time of the season. I love the fall, but my body goes through some pretty significant changes after Labor Day and the weather begins to cool. In this case, I think my body is passing through all of the ... "stuff" it would keep in my body if it were summer and it was still hot outside. Maybe that was what all that was about.
And the thing is, it's not that cold, at least not yet. We've had a few days in the sixties, and it's been cloudy from time to time. And today's supposed to be a completely rainy day. But temps are supposed to reach 80 this weekend, where it'll also be beautifully sunny. So I guess I shouldn't expect to shit (at least not more than usual) this week.
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
This Fantasy Sports Commissioning Thing Is A Hell Of A Lot Harder Than I Thought
OK, I'll blame my friend, or at least the weeks-long argument I had with my friend, for this. (But don't tell him.) Because I was so worried and obsessed as to what to say to him over our, uh, spat, I neglected tending to the other fantasy football league I'm commish for.
Specifically, I put too much on my plate and have compounded mistakes on top of it. Not to get into too many details (both so as not to bore you and blow my cover), some people in my league wanted to change the waiver rules for all the players we didn't choose in our auction. I was going to do that as soon as the auction was over, but I couldn't. Namely, I wanted them to become all free agents, but I guess I couldn't change that after the auction began, so we were stuck with our previous setting, which automatically placed all players on waivers and having people wait a couple days before they could get them. I told everyone I couldn't do anything about it.
However, I had forgotten that once waivers were over, everybody then became free agents. And I guess I wasn't aware of it in the past, but that change came before Sunday's games last week (Week 1). Someone had complained that people are picking up players as soon as they see them do well. Actually, I thought that's what we allowed in seasons before. So I was going to impose my new setting, where players are put on waivers so they can't be picked up during games, immediately. But then I thought that, for consistency's sake, I should just let this be, for lack of a better word, unregulated for the entire week. And I was going to change the waiver setting as soon as the late game on Week 1 Monday, Minnesota at San Francisco, began.
Don't tell the other people in my league, but I think I forgot to do that. Oh, sure, I was distracted with getting my parents to the airport the next morning, and I had these alumni club issues I had to deal with, and I was still worried about what my friend was going to say to me. But all those things converged and I, well, forgot to change the setting. And I didn't realize it until I got back to my car after work from the Vikings game Sunday afternoon (Week 2, to be specific), when my friend told me his son was able to do the same thing that several people were able to do the previous week.
At this point I wanted to put my head through the windshield. I've been telling them that for some reason "the setting didn't take." I am only slightly letting on that I just forgot to do that, but I think they know. Anyway, I was going to just let this go for yet another week and completely take the blame for this. But one person said that the difference between this and last week was that I stated that I was going to put in place these new waiver settings, where players that are available will be put on waivers as soon as his team's game that week starts and will revert to free agency late Tuesday night/early Wednesday morning. Although I couldn't get other people to say anything about it, there were only three people that did pick up people during Sunday's games, so I am asking them to drop those players. Some of them are good, too. And since we are in the middle of the waiver period, they can't pick up the players they dropped because the players they dropped technically are on waivers. I would be mighty irate if I were them. But one of them did it anyway, I am asking my friend to tell his son to reverse his transactions, and I e-mailed the third.
Asking this also will cause a whole host of problems. The other two people have yet to undo their add-and-drops. I don't know if it's because they're busy, they're trying to take advantage of the waiver rules that render availables free agents after tonight, or if they really don't believe they should have to give up the players that were available during the games on Sunday. And if they want to raise a stink, I don't know how to answer them. All I can do is fall on my sword, and that may not quell issues, especially if people decide they're going to get upset at these two people who are still holding onto the people they should not have picked up this weekend.
God, I don't want to commish anymore.
Specifically, I put too much on my plate and have compounded mistakes on top of it. Not to get into too many details (both so as not to bore you and blow my cover), some people in my league wanted to change the waiver rules for all the players we didn't choose in our auction. I was going to do that as soon as the auction was over, but I couldn't. Namely, I wanted them to become all free agents, but I guess I couldn't change that after the auction began, so we were stuck with our previous setting, which automatically placed all players on waivers and having people wait a couple days before they could get them. I told everyone I couldn't do anything about it.
However, I had forgotten that once waivers were over, everybody then became free agents. And I guess I wasn't aware of it in the past, but that change came before Sunday's games last week (Week 1). Someone had complained that people are picking up players as soon as they see them do well. Actually, I thought that's what we allowed in seasons before. So I was going to impose my new setting, where players are put on waivers so they can't be picked up during games, immediately. But then I thought that, for consistency's sake, I should just let this be, for lack of a better word, unregulated for the entire week. And I was going to change the waiver setting as soon as the late game on Week 1 Monday, Minnesota at San Francisco, began.
Don't tell the other people in my league, but I think I forgot to do that. Oh, sure, I was distracted with getting my parents to the airport the next morning, and I had these alumni club issues I had to deal with, and I was still worried about what my friend was going to say to me. But all those things converged and I, well, forgot to change the setting. And I didn't realize it until I got back to my car after work from the Vikings game Sunday afternoon (Week 2, to be specific), when my friend told me his son was able to do the same thing that several people were able to do the previous week.
At this point I wanted to put my head through the windshield. I've been telling them that for some reason "the setting didn't take." I am only slightly letting on that I just forgot to do that, but I think they know. Anyway, I was going to just let this go for yet another week and completely take the blame for this. But one person said that the difference between this and last week was that I stated that I was going to put in place these new waiver settings, where players that are available will be put on waivers as soon as his team's game that week starts and will revert to free agency late Tuesday night/early Wednesday morning. Although I couldn't get other people to say anything about it, there were only three people that did pick up people during Sunday's games, so I am asking them to drop those players. Some of them are good, too. And since we are in the middle of the waiver period, they can't pick up the players they dropped because the players they dropped technically are on waivers. I would be mighty irate if I were them. But one of them did it anyway, I am asking my friend to tell his son to reverse his transactions, and I e-mailed the third.
Asking this also will cause a whole host of problems. The other two people have yet to undo their add-and-drops. I don't know if it's because they're busy, they're trying to take advantage of the waiver rules that render availables free agents after tonight, or if they really don't believe they should have to give up the players that were available during the games on Sunday. And if they want to raise a stink, I don't know how to answer them. All I can do is fall on my sword, and that may not quell issues, especially if people decide they're going to get upset at these two people who are still holding onto the people they should not have picked up this weekend.
God, I don't want to commish anymore.
Monday, September 21, 2015
The Voices In My Head That Are Haunting Me Right Now
Worked the Vikings game yesterday. For yet another year I go work in sports to justify my degree, then remember partially why I haven't pursued it. All the yelling and verbal abuse! Does it have to be this way? And then I remember all the times I've worked these games and ... yeah, apparently it is.
I'm glad I'm not higher up. So this is what I'm imagining: I have the job of the guy I answered to for the game. There's a bunch of things that hit this guy at the same time during the game, and I think one of them is being on a call, to someone, whenever there's a problem. As I am on this call the director or producer is screaming at me to do something, as he would be throughout the game. As I'm talking to this one person, I would go -- and I know that if I were in this situation I would say -- "Hold on."
And that "mistake" would just set my boss off. He would either scream or tell me slowly and menacingly, "DON'T YOU EVER TELL ME TO HOLD ON!!! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU'RE FUCKING DOING, I ASK YOU FOR SOMETHING AND YOU FUCKING DROP EVERYTHING AND YOU GET IT FOR ME!!!"
And I would go, "Oh, sorry, sorry, I will never do that again." But deep down I'm going, "What don't you fuck off, you goddamn motherfucker."
See, that's what I am naturally going to do -- push back, talk back to authority, go into my shell and not talk to people who aren't nice to me. But you can't do that in broadcasting or sports, both of which I love. So if I ever dare try and go for a job like this I'll know that something like that will happen and it will affect the rest of my career in that position. And I can't help but think of that hypothetical situation; I've been thinking that all day, and I can't get it out of my head. I've tried screaming it out of my head; into nowhere in this otherwise vacant house I try to beat back this creeping imagination by going "Arghhhhhhhhh!!!!" out loud. But pretty soon, it comes back.
And it's going to be impossible to shake these haunting thoughts because I'm working next week's game. This mental vice I put myself in won't be released until the season is over.
This is why I'm not in sports production.
I'm glad I'm not higher up. So this is what I'm imagining: I have the job of the guy I answered to for the game. There's a bunch of things that hit this guy at the same time during the game, and I think one of them is being on a call, to someone, whenever there's a problem. As I am on this call the director or producer is screaming at me to do something, as he would be throughout the game. As I'm talking to this one person, I would go -- and I know that if I were in this situation I would say -- "Hold on."
And that "mistake" would just set my boss off. He would either scream or tell me slowly and menacingly, "DON'T YOU EVER TELL ME TO HOLD ON!!! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU'RE FUCKING DOING, I ASK YOU FOR SOMETHING AND YOU FUCKING DROP EVERYTHING AND YOU GET IT FOR ME!!!"
And I would go, "Oh, sorry, sorry, I will never do that again." But deep down I'm going, "What don't you fuck off, you goddamn motherfucker."
See, that's what I am naturally going to do -- push back, talk back to authority, go into my shell and not talk to people who aren't nice to me. But you can't do that in broadcasting or sports, both of which I love. So if I ever dare try and go for a job like this I'll know that something like that will happen and it will affect the rest of my career in that position. And I can't help but think of that hypothetical situation; I've been thinking that all day, and I can't get it out of my head. I've tried screaming it out of my head; into nowhere in this otherwise vacant house I try to beat back this creeping imagination by going "Arghhhhhhhhh!!!!" out loud. But pretty soon, it comes back.
And it's going to be impossible to shake these haunting thoughts because I'm working next week's game. This mental vice I put myself in won't be released until the season is over.
This is why I'm not in sports production.
My Beef With My Friend Is Over
In the back of my mind I knew my frenemy and I were hating each other protected by the insulation of e-mails. So I knew that any misunderstandings and hard feelings could be dispelled if one of us just picked up the damn phone.
Well, I finally shot off my e-mail to him Sunday morning before I went to work, almost a full week after he replied to me. During the Sunday night football, I get a call from him. Honestly, I was almost ready to send it to voicemail. But I was ready to be done with this fight, and so I picked up.
Did we have a heart-to-heart? Kinda? Maybe it was the best my "friend" was willing to go. Maybe it was because he's a man and I'm ... uh, a man with emotional needs. But we talked about a lot of things. And this is why it's important to actually hear the voice of the person you're fighting with: The tone you imagine when reading his words may not be there when you speak with him.
We hashed things out. The thing I got from was that he didn't mean to attack me. He also said that he wants more communication from me. My point was that I wanted to move on from this argument but I had to warn him that I may continue doing the same things I have been doing, which he hasn't liked at all ... but I'll try being a little more communicative and engaged. And then we started talking about other things.
I'm torn. The disgusting asshole part of me still would have like more of a contrite explanation from my friend. What he said was answering all my points still seemed like badgering, and I don't totally like the explanation for this fantasy football e-mail that started this whole damn mess in the first place. However, I think -- hope? -- that at one point during our 45-minute conversation he said something to the effect of, "If I made you feel that way, I'm sorry." That is an apology. Also, by deflecting to other things I think he's trying to bring things between us to the good times before all this, when we had fun talking about sports. Finally, he did call me. If he wanted to be a real dick and hold things against me, he wouldn't have done that. You know who does call up someone and talk man-to-man? A friend.
OK. I want to move on. This is over, thank God.
Well, I finally shot off my e-mail to him Sunday morning before I went to work, almost a full week after he replied to me. During the Sunday night football, I get a call from him. Honestly, I was almost ready to send it to voicemail. But I was ready to be done with this fight, and so I picked up.
Did we have a heart-to-heart? Kinda? Maybe it was the best my "friend" was willing to go. Maybe it was because he's a man and I'm ... uh, a man with emotional needs. But we talked about a lot of things. And this is why it's important to actually hear the voice of the person you're fighting with: The tone you imagine when reading his words may not be there when you speak with him.
We hashed things out. The thing I got from was that he didn't mean to attack me. He also said that he wants more communication from me. My point was that I wanted to move on from this argument but I had to warn him that I may continue doing the same things I have been doing, which he hasn't liked at all ... but I'll try being a little more communicative and engaged. And then we started talking about other things.
I'm torn. The disgusting asshole part of me still would have like more of a contrite explanation from my friend. What he said was answering all my points still seemed like badgering, and I don't totally like the explanation for this fantasy football e-mail that started this whole damn mess in the first place. However, I think -- hope? -- that at one point during our 45-minute conversation he said something to the effect of, "If I made you feel that way, I'm sorry." That is an apology. Also, by deflecting to other things I think he's trying to bring things between us to the good times before all this, when we had fun talking about sports. Finally, he did call me. If he wanted to be a real dick and hold things against me, he wouldn't have done that. You know who does call up someone and talk man-to-man? A friend.
OK. I want to move on. This is over, thank God.
Sunday, September 20, 2015
May Be Time For Some Changes
So we're back at our old watering hole to watch games. Only four people show up, God bless them. It was a fucking goddamn loss, too.
But that's not the matter, or at least not the most pressing thing. I go in there this afternoon to make sure everything's hunky-dory. Don't worry, the waitress said -- "We'll take care of you." But when I come back in the evening and ask permission on where we are allowed to sit, the asshole bartender, the one who now seems to run the place in the evenings and who started minimizing our presence last year, coldly shunted us over to the side. Another game is being shown on the big TVs. And oh, no sound.
Well, if that isn't a sign. Moving us around proves that he's is shoving us down our priority list, even though we've been watching games there for several years now. Unfortunately, from a pure business standpoint I can see why he's doing that. I think we would have more of a say on where we want to watch these games if there were more of us. But there hasn't.
In what may have been a peace offering, this guy turned up the sound on the TV, so even though there are speakers piping in the audio of the game on the big TVs, we could hear our game. But only for a little while. I suspect that after we cheered a touchdown, the asshole bartender turned way up the sound on their game, thereby making it impossible to hear our game anymore.
At a couple points this evening I looked at the bar, where we usually sit/sat. There may -- may -- have been people watching the game, although I didn't see any of them with the colors of the two teams the asshole bartender put on the big TVs. You know, I can deal with a guy who's charisma-challenged and wants nothing to do with chit-chat; he's got a bar to run, and it really is easier to just say how things are going to be and be firm about it. I understand that. But I really do think he turned up the sound of "his" game to piss us off and make us feel unwelcome. And that is the playground antics of a bullying, passive-aggressive dick.
So now I have to find an out, a new bar to which we can congregate. There are other factors to leaving other than him. For one thing, I got sticker shock when paying event parking prices for the first time in order to watch a game downtown. And for another, I keep complaining about why so few people come to these. Maybe it's the location? I mean, downtown Minneapolis Saturday night hosted a Twins game (they got swept in a doubleheader -- thanks for playing, Twinks) and a pop-up street pub, so that could dissuade a lot of people from even bothering to take the drive. Maybe we need to find a different area. Of course, it might not matter where we watch our games if the team we're watching ain't worth shit. And by the looks of them that game, they ain't.
Nevertheless, I have to start looking elsewhere.
But that's not the matter, or at least not the most pressing thing. I go in there this afternoon to make sure everything's hunky-dory. Don't worry, the waitress said -- "We'll take care of you." But when I come back in the evening and ask permission on where we are allowed to sit, the asshole bartender, the one who now seems to run the place in the evenings and who started minimizing our presence last year, coldly shunted us over to the side. Another game is being shown on the big TVs. And oh, no sound.
Well, if that isn't a sign. Moving us around proves that he's is shoving us down our priority list, even though we've been watching games there for several years now. Unfortunately, from a pure business standpoint I can see why he's doing that. I think we would have more of a say on where we want to watch these games if there were more of us. But there hasn't.
In what may have been a peace offering, this guy turned up the sound on the TV, so even though there are speakers piping in the audio of the game on the big TVs, we could hear our game. But only for a little while. I suspect that after we cheered a touchdown, the asshole bartender turned way up the sound on their game, thereby making it impossible to hear our game anymore.
At a couple points this evening I looked at the bar, where we usually sit/sat. There may -- may -- have been people watching the game, although I didn't see any of them with the colors of the two teams the asshole bartender put on the big TVs. You know, I can deal with a guy who's charisma-challenged and wants nothing to do with chit-chat; he's got a bar to run, and it really is easier to just say how things are going to be and be firm about it. I understand that. But I really do think he turned up the sound of "his" game to piss us off and make us feel unwelcome. And that is the playground antics of a bullying, passive-aggressive dick.
So now I have to find an out, a new bar to which we can congregate. There are other factors to leaving other than him. For one thing, I got sticker shock when paying event parking prices for the first time in order to watch a game downtown. And for another, I keep complaining about why so few people come to these. Maybe it's the location? I mean, downtown Minneapolis Saturday night hosted a Twins game (they got swept in a doubleheader -- thanks for playing, Twinks) and a pop-up street pub, so that could dissuade a lot of people from even bothering to take the drive. Maybe we need to find a different area. Of course, it might not matter where we watch our games if the team we're watching ain't worth shit. And by the looks of them that game, they ain't.
Nevertheless, I have to start looking elsewhere.
Saturday, September 19, 2015
Internet Down
Ever since My Fucking Father bought a new router our Internet has been screwy. Well, screwier than usual. When he threw this goddamn machine on my lap I've had to learn on the fly how to use it. I thought it was a replacement, but it turns out that this router runs in tandem with the modem. (This actually is the thing I once thought I needed to prevent our DSL from dropping out. It has this 802.11 a/c thing which should allow tougher Internet access through electronic interference, which I guess has been the problem in our house.) Turns out we needed what is called a crossover cable to hook up between the modem and the router. Brother, who is now my parents' favorite (although that probably has been the case for some time) got it before they left.
But ever since the frequency of drops has increased. And this isn't the case where one of the lights flashes red overnight or anything. The power in the modem just cuts out, so we have to wait until it's restored. And it got worse just now, when I remembered I hadn't yet blogged for the day. It dropped out two or three times in a row, and I think it's holding on, but I decided to blog about this than another thing to make sure I get this in on time before it magically cuts out again. Had to miss scores during halftime of the 2:30 football games to deal with this bullshit.
Also, there seems to be another problem with the Ethernet cable. I check the back of the modem and there isn't a solid green light where the Ethernet is connected. Either the cable needs to be replaced or the modem. Hell, it could be both.
Better send this before it's too late.
But ever since the frequency of drops has increased. And this isn't the case where one of the lights flashes red overnight or anything. The power in the modem just cuts out, so we have to wait until it's restored. And it got worse just now, when I remembered I hadn't yet blogged for the day. It dropped out two or three times in a row, and I think it's holding on, but I decided to blog about this than another thing to make sure I get this in on time before it magically cuts out again. Had to miss scores during halftime of the 2:30 football games to deal with this bullshit.
Also, there seems to be another problem with the Ethernet cable. I check the back of the modem and there isn't a solid green light where the Ethernet is connected. Either the cable needs to be replaced or the modem. Hell, it could be both.
Better send this before it's too late.
Friday, September 18, 2015
The Most Fun $50 I Ever Earned
So I was at a shoot from 9 until 6:30 yesterday. Got paid $50 to be an extra, which comes out to about $5.25 per hour, which was the minimum wage twenty years ago.
But you know what? I loved it. No stress, no expectations. Just go where they tell you to, do what they tell you to, follow directions, and when you're done, go sit and eat. That's what the shoots -- well, all shoots I've done as an extra -- are about: Time to graze and talk with the extras when not "acting."
It was fun, and everyone was cool. I talked with the other extras the most, and they are really nice and fun people. We spent a large chunk of the day just talking to each other. To spend your day talking with other people and getting paid for it (even if it's only peanuts)? I would actually prefer that job to an actual one.
In fact, I had to stay a little while longer while the other extras were let go because I was in background for a couple more shots. That's OK, I didn't mind. And the crew gave me a hand after I wrapped. For me, just an extra? Aw!
It would be great being an actor, wouldn't it? I had ... well, have ... dreams of being one. But I've never pursued them because, well, I would hate to fail.
---
The temp agency called me this morning. Probably have a job lined up for me. Right now, I would rather not work. For one thing I am on standby for being an extra on another shoot, which would pay a little more. I also have these experiments that I have lined up for next week. Finally, to be honest, I love being at home, by myself, doing whatever the fuck I want.
But ... my funds are getting low, and I'll have to get back on the horse soon. So, maybe this is an offer I can't pass up. Crap.
But you know what? I loved it. No stress, no expectations. Just go where they tell you to, do what they tell you to, follow directions, and when you're done, go sit and eat. That's what the shoots -- well, all shoots I've done as an extra -- are about: Time to graze and talk with the extras when not "acting."
It was fun, and everyone was cool. I talked with the other extras the most, and they are really nice and fun people. We spent a large chunk of the day just talking to each other. To spend your day talking with other people and getting paid for it (even if it's only peanuts)? I would actually prefer that job to an actual one.
In fact, I had to stay a little while longer while the other extras were let go because I was in background for a couple more shots. That's OK, I didn't mind. And the crew gave me a hand after I wrapped. For me, just an extra? Aw!
It would be great being an actor, wouldn't it? I had ... well, have ... dreams of being one. But I've never pursued them because, well, I would hate to fail.
---
The temp agency called me this morning. Probably have a job lined up for me. Right now, I would rather not work. For one thing I am on standby for being an extra on another shoot, which would pay a little more. I also have these experiments that I have lined up for next week. Finally, to be honest, I love being at home, by myself, doing whatever the fuck I want.
But ... my funds are getting low, and I'll have to get back on the horse soon. So, maybe this is an offer I can't pass up. Crap.
Thursday, September 17, 2015
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
#-1 (tie): Gopher volleyball and Gopher soccer (Last Week, respectively: -1 and -2). In a suddenly huge survey (but only for this week; it'll get back to its bulging self next week, barring the unforeseen), I really couldn't decide which of these two teams would get the top spot. I went to a game for each program, the volleyball team against Cal-Irvine Friday, the soccer side vs. Nebraska-Omaha Sunday afternoon. Both teams won those games handily: Volleyballers swept the Anteaters, Footballers destroyed the Mavericks 9-1. (I missed the last of the Gophers' nine goals because I was checking my Twitter for NFL scored; I would blame the boring game for it, but I realize that I check the Internet on my smartphone a lot during games I attend nowadays, and that's a bad habit and I should do something about that.) Both teams won their other games over this weekend as well: Volleyballers swept both North Dakota St. and Central Florida on their way to winning their Diet Coke Classic Saturday, Footballers nipped New Mexico 1-0 Friday. Both teams had decent wins but also played patsies. The footballers had an historic ass-kicking (too bad the press release didn't give the last time the club scored nine goals or won by eight), but the volleyballers are now ranked. I couldn't distinguish the two, so I gave them both the top spot -- but only a -1 because it's early in the season for both.
This week the volleyballers go to Charleston, S.C., for their fourth and final tournament, the Charleston Invite, where they are clear favorites against Bryant, Sam Houston St. and hosts College of Charleston. (I'm sorry, this squad should not be playing these teams. They had better been paid money for doing this.) Meanwhile the footballers will begin conference play this weekend on a very tough road trip: Ohio St. tonight (Thursday night), conference favorites Penn St. Sunday.
#-2: Gopher football (Last Week: -5). OK, so building this program "Brick By Brick" (their slogan for the year) is going to get a little harder this season. The defense, obviously the better half of this team, yielded a 37-yard Field Goal to send their game against Colorado St. to Overtime. Luckily, on the first play of OT, Minnesota recovered the fumble when Rams Running Back Dalyn Dawkins was stripped of the ball by Defensive Tackle Scott Ekpe. Ryan Santoso kicked the ball through the uprights from the 1, and the Golden Gophs escaped Ft. Collins, Colo., with a 23-20 win. The offense remains a problem; Quarterback Mitch Leidner, despite throwing two Touchdowns, still has difficulty throwing.
This team is hard to read, and back-to-back home games against Mid-American Conference opponents probably won't clear things up. Versus Kent St. early Saturday afternoon.
#-3: Twins (Last Week: -3). Well, they completed their goal this screening week: With their 6-2 victory over the Chicago White Sox on 9/11, they won their 73rd game -- which ensures they will not lose more than 89 games, which means they won't lose 90 games for a fifth straight season. Moreover, they are still hanging tough in the Wild Card race, still lagging only 1 1/2 games out of A.L. Wild Card 2 ... which is now held by the Houston Astros, who have conceded the A.L. West Division lead to the Texas Rangers.
Nevertheless, opportunities continue to be there for the Twinks and they keep blowing them. They finished a 3-3 screening week, losing two-of-three at Target Field to the Detroit Tigers, who came into this season with World Series aspirations only to close that door for good by the trade deadline. They should be so demoralized enough to be welcome door mats for playoff contenders like Minnesota. But games like Wednesday's 7-4 defeat, where the Twinks came back from a 2-1 deficit with two runs and came back from a 4-3 deficit in the bottom of the ninth, will (and should) haunt them for the rest of their lives. They had runners in scoring position in both the ninth and tenth innings with nobody out and were unable to score the game-ending runs. They relented with three in the top of the twelfth inning and couldn't muster up one more response. It's games like this, rare games where they came back (not once but twice) but failed to pull it out that they need to look over, regardless of how young this team is. What a goddamn neckbreaker.
They continue their final homestand of the regular season by hosting The Anaheim Angels Of Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim Angels Of ..., who remains in the fringes of ALWC2, for four games starting Thursday. This may be the most dangerous series the Twinks face the rest of the year. They then host Cleveland for three starting on Tuesday.
#-4: Vikings (Re-Entry!). Yes, it's a long season. And if they continue to play this shittily, it will be a long season.
You know, most of the statistical people thought that the San Francisco 49ers had a 2-in-3 chance of winning that game. This despite the return of Adrian Peterson, the continuing education of Teddy Bridgewater, a vastly improved run defense, a new Head Coach on the Niners' side, and turnover after virutally half of last year's San Fran roster decided to retire after Jim Harbaugh left to coach the University of Michigan. I was one of those chumps who thought they were going to win. No way did I think All Day would be an afterthought, that Bridgewater would suddenly get the football equivalent of the yips, and that the D would let Carlos Hyde run over, around and through them. I was ready to watch the game on Channel 4, but it was so boring that I fell asleep. (Oh, and I had to mute the ESPN feed and turned on the radio to hear the game through KFAN. I couldn't stand Chris Berman and Trent Dilfer calling the game.) For most of the first half both teams were playing ineptly, but apparently San Francisco did more than enough to win the game, albeit ugly. And we should have listened to the game runs after all.
The oft-repeated stat is that, like, 10% of all teams that start the season 0-2 make the playoffs. So, ostensibly, they should try and win their next game Sunday. It is at "home," TCF Bank Stadium, where they will be playing for their second and final season. But it's against the surprisingly good Detroit Lions, which came back from an 18-point deficit to beat the Chargers in San Diego. (ETA on September 24 8:33 a.m. at that I should have known that it was the other way around, that it was in fact San Diego which came back from 18 points down to beat Detroit. Sorry, really sorry about that.) For all the hype that the ViQueens are a team on the rise, it's possible that they are still only the third-best team in the National Football Conference North Division, and well behind both the Lions and Green Bay. We'll see if the staid defeat in Week 1 is a trend or a mirage.
#-5: Lynx (Last Week: -4). It's already over for the Jynx. (They lost their regular season finale at Seattle, but Maya Moore and Lindsay Whalen took the night off. Blah-blah-blah.) Despite going "all-in" by trading for Ashja Jones and Sylvia Fowles, they lost home-court advantage to the New York Liberty, of all fucking teams. That means that if these two teams somehow make it to the WNBA Finals, they will be playing in Madison Square Garden for a potential Game 5.
They're not going to win a potential Game 5 away from Target Center in the WNBA Finals. They are too old, too banged up (I don't think Seimone Augustus is 100%, and she may never be ever again), and too shallow off the bench to be a title team. I think they'll have big problems with the winner of the Phoenix-Tulsa series in the Western Conference Finals. Shit, they face the Los Angeles Sparks with Candice Parker in a best-of-three, and you don't know what the hell could happen. (Although for Game 2 on Sunday the Sparks are vacated from the Staples Center and are forced to play at the Pyramid in Long Beach. Women, still being treated like second-class citizens.)
This truly is The End Of An Era. In retrospect, this team was running on borrowed time from the beginning of the year. And we all got swept up in the belief that this old team was invincible. They are quite vincible, I'm afraid. They will be exposed, at some point in the WNBA Playoffs, and they will have to face some very serious questions about the future of this franchise. The dark days are coming, Jynx fans -- be prepared.
#-Infinity (tie): Saints and Swarm (Last Week, respectively: BRAND NEW, NEVER PUT THEM IN THE SURVEY BEFORE!!! and Re-Entry!). I have to talk about the demise of these two franchises -- although, to be fair, "demise" has a different definition for these two squads.
The St. Paul Saints, in the first season in their brand-new stadium in Lowertown St. Paul, CHS Field (I went to a game there this season; great minor league ballpark, but it has a lot of very dark wood accents for a stadium. Very sleek), they finished with their best record ever, 74-26. I had heard that they were really good all summer; oftentimes they were the team that buoyed the local sports season when the Twinks and Jynx lost. Things were looking really good for them.
But then they lost steam. I had assumed that their lauded record meant that they also had the best record in the American Association. Turned out they didn't; by one game, a 75-25 record, the Sioux City Explorers topped the Aints for the best record in the AA.
So that meant that, when they met in their semifinal series in the AA playoffs, that the Explorers would have home-field advantage in their best-of-five series. But they didn't; St. Paul did, even though in independent baseball, to cut down on travel costs, the team with the home-field disadvantage got to play their two games at home first before travelling to the other team for the last three. That may have given Sioux City momentum; they won the first two games and was able to take Game 4 on the road. Meaning that the Saints' greatest record would wind up in failure.
But at least the team will still be in the Twin Cities. The National Lacrosse League Swarm announced that they are leaving Minnesota for the greater Atlanta area and becoming the Georgia Swarm. Smarm Owner John Arlotta said that they cherished the fans here, but there were three factors that ultimately forced them to leave the area: Eroding corporate sponsorship and season-ticket holders; continuing difficulties competing in an oversaturated Twin Cities sports market; and new lease terms that would have taken away Saturday evening slots, seen by Arlotta as the most lucrative.
Two things here. First of all, I still believe the adage that markets don't fail teams, teams fail markets. In their 11-year history, they never won the Champion's Cup. In fact, they never even reached the NLL Finals, losing in the division finals twice. And Arlotta knows darn well that the reason he was losing season-ticket holders is because the Swarm missed the playoffs the last two years as the team continually tried to field a team on the cheap, trading away veterans (and fan favorites) in exchange for unproven rookies. That is a recipe for disaster, and the silver bullet that somehow a young team could crash its way to the title didn't work, not even close. I'm not saying the other factors didn't make it difficult to compete; I'm saying that fielding a better team could have resolved so many problems.
The other thing I want to talk about is the market that they're going to. I have no idea what the lacrosse "scene" in Atlanta is like, but I doubt it's much different than it is here. In fact, I'll say it's worse. Atlanta is not a sports town. They don't go to Falcons or Braves games because -- well, partly it's because their teams have been historically mediocre, but also because the area is so sprawled out it takes too damn long to get to a ballpark or arena. And remember, this is the metropolitan area that lost not one but two National Hockey League franchises. So I doubt Arlotta when he says he's "capitalizing" on the "burgeoning community" there. Meanwhile, there was one lacrosse community here, and it'll probably shrivel away without Swarm support. All because he took the best deal that was dangled in front of him.
The Georgia Swarm won't last two years. Good fucking riddance to your club and your obnoxious DJ who blasts a song for five seconds before switching it to another song.
This week the volleyballers go to Charleston, S.C., for their fourth and final tournament, the Charleston Invite, where they are clear favorites against Bryant, Sam Houston St. and hosts College of Charleston. (I'm sorry, this squad should not be playing these teams. They had better been paid money for doing this.) Meanwhile the footballers will begin conference play this weekend on a very tough road trip: Ohio St. tonight (Thursday night), conference favorites Penn St. Sunday.
#-2: Gopher football (Last Week: -5). OK, so building this program "Brick By Brick" (their slogan for the year) is going to get a little harder this season. The defense, obviously the better half of this team, yielded a 37-yard Field Goal to send their game against Colorado St. to Overtime. Luckily, on the first play of OT, Minnesota recovered the fumble when Rams Running Back Dalyn Dawkins was stripped of the ball by Defensive Tackle Scott Ekpe. Ryan Santoso kicked the ball through the uprights from the 1, and the Golden Gophs escaped Ft. Collins, Colo., with a 23-20 win. The offense remains a problem; Quarterback Mitch Leidner, despite throwing two Touchdowns, still has difficulty throwing.
This team is hard to read, and back-to-back home games against Mid-American Conference opponents probably won't clear things up. Versus Kent St. early Saturday afternoon.
#-3: Twins (Last Week: -3). Well, they completed their goal this screening week: With their 6-2 victory over the Chicago White Sox on 9/11, they won their 73rd game -- which ensures they will not lose more than 89 games, which means they won't lose 90 games for a fifth straight season. Moreover, they are still hanging tough in the Wild Card race, still lagging only 1 1/2 games out of A.L. Wild Card 2 ... which is now held by the Houston Astros, who have conceded the A.L. West Division lead to the Texas Rangers.
Nevertheless, opportunities continue to be there for the Twinks and they keep blowing them. They finished a 3-3 screening week, losing two-of-three at Target Field to the Detroit Tigers, who came into this season with World Series aspirations only to close that door for good by the trade deadline. They should be so demoralized enough to be welcome door mats for playoff contenders like Minnesota. But games like Wednesday's 7-4 defeat, where the Twinks came back from a 2-1 deficit with two runs and came back from a 4-3 deficit in the bottom of the ninth, will (and should) haunt them for the rest of their lives. They had runners in scoring position in both the ninth and tenth innings with nobody out and were unable to score the game-ending runs. They relented with three in the top of the twelfth inning and couldn't muster up one more response. It's games like this, rare games where they came back (not once but twice) but failed to pull it out that they need to look over, regardless of how young this team is. What a goddamn neckbreaker.
They continue their final homestand of the regular season by hosting The Anaheim Angels Of Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim Angels Of ..., who remains in the fringes of ALWC2, for four games starting Thursday. This may be the most dangerous series the Twinks face the rest of the year. They then host Cleveland for three starting on Tuesday.
#-4: Vikings (Re-Entry!). Yes, it's a long season. And if they continue to play this shittily, it will be a long season.
You know, most of the statistical people thought that the San Francisco 49ers had a 2-in-3 chance of winning that game. This despite the return of Adrian Peterson, the continuing education of Teddy Bridgewater, a vastly improved run defense, a new Head Coach on the Niners' side, and turnover after virutally half of last year's San Fran roster decided to retire after Jim Harbaugh left to coach the University of Michigan. I was one of those chumps who thought they were going to win. No way did I think All Day would be an afterthought, that Bridgewater would suddenly get the football equivalent of the yips, and that the D would let Carlos Hyde run over, around and through them. I was ready to watch the game on Channel 4, but it was so boring that I fell asleep. (Oh, and I had to mute the ESPN feed and turned on the radio to hear the game through KFAN. I couldn't stand Chris Berman and Trent Dilfer calling the game.) For most of the first half both teams were playing ineptly, but apparently San Francisco did more than enough to win the game, albeit ugly. And we should have listened to the game runs after all.
The oft-repeated stat is that, like, 10% of all teams that start the season 0-2 make the playoffs. So, ostensibly, they should try and win their next game Sunday. It is at "home," TCF Bank Stadium, where they will be playing for their second and final season. But it's against the surprisingly good Detroit Lions, which came back from an 18-point deficit to beat the Chargers in San Diego. (ETA on September 24 8:33 a.m. at that I should have known that it was the other way around, that it was in fact San Diego which came back from 18 points down to beat Detroit. Sorry, really sorry about that.) For all the hype that the ViQueens are a team on the rise, it's possible that they are still only the third-best team in the National Football Conference North Division, and well behind both the Lions and Green Bay. We'll see if the staid defeat in Week 1 is a trend or a mirage.
#-5: Lynx (Last Week: -4). It's already over for the Jynx. (They lost their regular season finale at Seattle, but Maya Moore and Lindsay Whalen took the night off. Blah-blah-blah.) Despite going "all-in" by trading for Ashja Jones and Sylvia Fowles, they lost home-court advantage to the New York Liberty, of all fucking teams. That means that if these two teams somehow make it to the WNBA Finals, they will be playing in Madison Square Garden for a potential Game 5.
They're not going to win a potential Game 5 away from Target Center in the WNBA Finals. They are too old, too banged up (I don't think Seimone Augustus is 100%, and she may never be ever again), and too shallow off the bench to be a title team. I think they'll have big problems with the winner of the Phoenix-Tulsa series in the Western Conference Finals. Shit, they face the Los Angeles Sparks with Candice Parker in a best-of-three, and you don't know what the hell could happen. (Although for Game 2 on Sunday the Sparks are vacated from the Staples Center and are forced to play at the Pyramid in Long Beach. Women, still being treated like second-class citizens.)
This truly is The End Of An Era. In retrospect, this team was running on borrowed time from the beginning of the year. And we all got swept up in the belief that this old team was invincible. They are quite vincible, I'm afraid. They will be exposed, at some point in the WNBA Playoffs, and they will have to face some very serious questions about the future of this franchise. The dark days are coming, Jynx fans -- be prepared.
#-Infinity (tie): Saints and Swarm (Last Week, respectively: BRAND NEW, NEVER PUT THEM IN THE SURVEY BEFORE!!! and Re-Entry!). I have to talk about the demise of these two franchises -- although, to be fair, "demise" has a different definition for these two squads.
The St. Paul Saints, in the first season in their brand-new stadium in Lowertown St. Paul, CHS Field (I went to a game there this season; great minor league ballpark, but it has a lot of very dark wood accents for a stadium. Very sleek), they finished with their best record ever, 74-26. I had heard that they were really good all summer; oftentimes they were the team that buoyed the local sports season when the Twinks and Jynx lost. Things were looking really good for them.
But then they lost steam. I had assumed that their lauded record meant that they also had the best record in the American Association. Turned out they didn't; by one game, a 75-25 record, the Sioux City Explorers topped the Aints for the best record in the AA.
So that meant that, when they met in their semifinal series in the AA playoffs, that the Explorers would have home-field advantage in their best-of-five series. But they didn't; St. Paul did, even though in independent baseball, to cut down on travel costs, the team with the home-field disadvantage got to play their two games at home first before travelling to the other team for the last three. That may have given Sioux City momentum; they won the first two games and was able to take Game 4 on the road. Meaning that the Saints' greatest record would wind up in failure.
But at least the team will still be in the Twin Cities. The National Lacrosse League Swarm announced that they are leaving Minnesota for the greater Atlanta area and becoming the Georgia Swarm. Smarm Owner John Arlotta said that they cherished the fans here, but there were three factors that ultimately forced them to leave the area: Eroding corporate sponsorship and season-ticket holders; continuing difficulties competing in an oversaturated Twin Cities sports market; and new lease terms that would have taken away Saturday evening slots, seen by Arlotta as the most lucrative.
Two things here. First of all, I still believe the adage that markets don't fail teams, teams fail markets. In their 11-year history, they never won the Champion's Cup. In fact, they never even reached the NLL Finals, losing in the division finals twice. And Arlotta knows darn well that the reason he was losing season-ticket holders is because the Swarm missed the playoffs the last two years as the team continually tried to field a team on the cheap, trading away veterans (and fan favorites) in exchange for unproven rookies. That is a recipe for disaster, and the silver bullet that somehow a young team could crash its way to the title didn't work, not even close. I'm not saying the other factors didn't make it difficult to compete; I'm saying that fielding a better team could have resolved so many problems.
The other thing I want to talk about is the market that they're going to. I have no idea what the lacrosse "scene" in Atlanta is like, but I doubt it's much different than it is here. In fact, I'll say it's worse. Atlanta is not a sports town. They don't go to Falcons or Braves games because -- well, partly it's because their teams have been historically mediocre, but also because the area is so sprawled out it takes too damn long to get to a ballpark or arena. And remember, this is the metropolitan area that lost not one but two National Hockey League franchises. So I doubt Arlotta when he says he's "capitalizing" on the "burgeoning community" there. Meanwhile, there was one lacrosse community here, and it'll probably shrivel away without Swarm support. All because he took the best deal that was dangled in front of him.
The Georgia Swarm won't last two years. Good fucking riddance to your club and your obnoxious DJ who blasts a song for five seconds before switching it to another song.
Wednesday, September 16, 2015
Four People
Just four people showed up for the event. In line with what I thought and feared would be the attendance. Sure as hell couldn't tell the GM that, though; told him I was hoping for about a dozen. Was prepared to tell him that four of those were maybes and four just no-showed.
Look, it's better than zero. But I couldn't help but think while I was sitting and talking with the four other beautiful, gracious people that showed up, "Man, this guy is going to be so pissed."
Well, it was a fitting -- and humiliating -- send-off, I guess.
Look, it's better than zero. But I couldn't help but think while I was sitting and talking with the four other beautiful, gracious people that showed up, "Man, this guy is going to be so pissed."
Well, it was a fitting -- and humiliating -- send-off, I guess.
Addendum To: Addendum To: Addendum To: Now My Friend Is Affected (ETA: sic) My Driving
My last missive to my frenemy I sent Monday morning; he was a dick in replying back that evening. Does he think he can just dismiss me by not taking as much to answer my e-mail as I did to his? I really didn't want to read his shrill words, especially because I'm too busy hyperventilating over other shit I need to do right now. But maybe this is an indication that I get busy and things kind of fall by the wayside, like I've tried to tell him all along.
Anyway, he completely minimizes what I was trying to say while attacking me, again, about how contradictory I'm sounding. I don't think I'm being contradictory, but honestly, I'm absolutely shocked that he's going to continue on and on about this. I'm starting to not care, and I'm the one who said I'm going to get the last word on this!
I want to bring in other people to help me respond to him. But I don't want him to know. How do I do that? And in the meantime, how do I get back at him?
Anyway, he completely minimizes what I was trying to say while attacking me, again, about how contradictory I'm sounding. I don't think I'm being contradictory, but honestly, I'm absolutely shocked that he's going to continue on and on about this. I'm starting to not care, and I'm the one who said I'm going to get the last word on this!
I want to bring in other people to help me respond to him. But I don't want him to know. How do I do that? And in the meantime, how do I get back at him?
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
I Should Be Happier Now That My Parents Are Gone ...
... but it's been a hectic and thus shitty 36 hours. I shall recap:
In fact, I really can't relax for a while now because on Saturday our alumni group will be meeting at our regular digs. It'll be the first time back there, so I don't really know if things will go off without a hitch. Also, there is a festival that's happening nearby which may dampen if not destroy any attendance. Then on Sunday I work the Vikings game, and I need to make sure I don't lose my temper there. I just can't relax right now, even though I have the whole house to myself now.
- Went to this place where we are having a fundraising event tomorrow (Wednesday), just to make absolutely sure we were cool. "Oh, I know you ..." said the General Manager after I asked for him. He then proceeded to tell me that, while it's OK for us to meet then, this could not go on any longer, hint-hint. That's when I remembered the ex-Vice-President getting shit from this restaurant last year. The problem was that fundraising events like the one we're holding should be much bigger, and that the crowds we're getting (under a dozen, which this year's probably will be) isn't bringing in the money he envisioned when the restaurant came up with this program. Hearing second-hand of a lecture like didn't seem too bad; I remember telling my VP to "not take any shit from him." But hearing it told to me to my face ... well, it's different. I'm not saying he's wrong; after all, he is running a business. I know in my head it's not a threat, but my heart feels as if it was threat, so I can't help but feel like it's a threat.
- That meeting with the GM took so long that I had to rush to the Nomad to get see the start of the EPL game between West Ham and Newcastle. But when I hurriedly parked, ran and opened the front door, it was locked. Oh, shit, not this again. This has happened to me before, but I figured that I was able to watch games there the past couple Mondays, so why not now? Well, it turns out that they had advertised on their website that they would be closed. That's OK, I guess; all I ask for is consistency. I mean, why can't you always be open Monday afternoons for soccer matches? That was a waste of two bucks to park, but I had some other fantasy football bullshit that came up.
- Oh yeah, the fantasy football bullshit. ... In the other fantasy football league I commish for, one of the managers had ... not complained, but asked me why available players were all free agents and thus able to be picked up during the games on Sunday. That's when I remembered that I wanted to change the feature on that issue, but when I tried to do that after our auction, it reverted to putting all availables on waivers. I just forgot with the other situation -- which you know about and which I'll give up an update on below -- still on fire, so I think this was another shitstorm I had to solve. But upon further reflection I thought, Wait ... What I really wanted to happen was for these guys to be Free Agents. I just wanted them to get placed on Waivers before the games started. So although the same person who e-mailed me about this thought about asking everyone under the honor system to trade back the people they dropped-and-added after the games started Sunday, I instead just said we should keep it as it is for now, but add in the feature starting in Week 2 (this Thursday) whereby a players is put on waivers as soon as his team begins play for that week. Which, in retrospect, probably is what I wanted all along.
- The thing with my frenemy with the other fantasy football league is ... still going on. I am now taking a less defensive, more personal and, I'm afraid, apologetic tone towards him and this ongoing issue. I mean, I'm talking about my feelings. After the last time I spoke I broke off one from the conversation to talk about a change in scoring in the league. We're going with it, but I want him to know that I'm still concerned (and a bit angry) over unresolved issues, so we are sending two separate messages each time we are communicating -- one light, one bitter. On the one hand I am getting kind of fatigued, and this is a way to try and ease the hard feelings we're tossing at each other. On the other I am afraid I am getting played by my frenemy and I have just shown weakness by trying to change the conversation. Plus, I believe that I have missed many points when it comes to fighting back against all his accusations. And as much as I want to "fix" that, I'm afraid I just don't have the argumentative acuity to pull that off. Going beyond that, I think he thinks I am losing this argument and finding a way out. And so it goes.
- One of the grand prizes is buying a bottle of wine. There are many that come recommended; none of them are in the municipal liquor store. The municipal liquor store, I have concluded, has really shitty selection.
- Oh, and Straight Outta Compton is, I'm afraid, very hagiographic. Guess I shouldn't expect the truth when the band members of NWA are the ones producing the film, but after coming home and fact-checking I see that they left a lot of stuff out that would make them look really bad. Dr. Dre, in particular, looks like the quiet producer mastermind of NWA when he may have been the most volatile.
In fact, I really can't relax for a while now because on Saturday our alumni group will be meeting at our regular digs. It'll be the first time back there, so I don't really know if things will go off without a hitch. Also, there is a festival that's happening nearby which may dampen if not destroy any attendance. Then on Sunday I work the Vikings game, and I need to make sure I don't lose my temper there. I just can't relax right now, even though I have the whole house to myself now.
Monday, September 14, 2015
Why Can't Things Appear When I Want Them?
So right now I am missing two things that I really, really am missing right now.
The first is my alma mater name plate. It's a sweet, albeit hard plastic, thing that looks kind of official. When I wear it it makes me feel I am serious. I need it now that football season is here, but I'm looking all over for it and can't find it. I know that I had it when I was doing that main event over the summer. I think it was magnetized to the shirt I was wearing, and once it was over I took it off, name tag still attached, and threw it on my chair, where I assumed it would still be. But it's not. I wanted to wear it Saturday but I couldn't find it, anywhere. And I looked for it in the places it logically could be, namely the boxes which I carried to this event. Not there. So I don't know where the hell it could be.
I am also trying to look for my Minnesota RollerGirls tickets. I bought them the first day of the Minnesota State Fair, and I put them in my shirt pocket (I think; I don't remember if the shirt I wore had a pocket), and I think I had them when I got back into my car when I was done. But I don't remember what happened to the tickets after that, and unlike the name tag, I don't know where to look. It sucks extra because I got a deal: Buy two tickets for the price of one. I have no idea where it could be now; anywhere it would even maybe be I have looked in and through -- no dice. So as soon as my parents are gone, I'm going to toss my bedroom and look through every single small paper card I have accumulated to find those damn tickets.
---
When I lost my hat and gloves over the winter, in self-pity and pain I was looking if there are any things I can buy to never lose them, or anything else, again. These devices and applications, for example, might help. There are drawbacks to them, though. For one thing I have to pay, and for some of them (if not all of them) I have to pay a yearly "membership." For another, the RFID that I attach to each of the things I don't want to lose have only so far of a range, so I would only know if, say, my keys are out of range from my smartphone. Finally, to locate anything within range, I would have to rely on the location services of other services that not only are turned on, not only have their location beacon turned on, but (I think) have to have that same locator app too. The RFID will have to ping from the keys or the hat and gloves to the nearest smartphone, which will then send off a message to my phone indicating that the item I am looking for is around there. I don't know if that will work, at least to my satisfaction.
So even if I did have something like this, it probably wouldn't work to find my name tag and MNRG tickets, would it?
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Addendum To: Addendum To: Now My Friend Is Affected (ETA: sic) My Driving
Friday my frenemy sent me back an e-mail. And despite a couple serious accusations in the beginning of it, it appears as though he, like me in my response to him, is pumping the brakes on the vitriol. Or maybe I'm just wishing that were true because I don't want to fight anymore.
To make absolutely that this fight indeed was his fault, I looked back on our back-and-forth. There may -- may -- have been a point where I may -- may -- have gone off. At one point he said that, because I didn't do this he wasn't able to tip off his friends into getting into the league, which means it was my fault. And either because I was pissed, or scared, or wanted to go on the attack before I had to defend myself or simply wanted to let him know how it was going to be, I left him have it. And maybe that triggered something in him that gave him permission (at least in his mind) to go off on me.
Well, shit. I don't want to lose this guy forever, but I still have too much pride to back down from what I said. Sometimes I think it's better if I just go build a cabin in the woods and live by myself for a couple years, like Henry David Thoreau.
To make absolutely that this fight indeed was his fault, I looked back on our back-and-forth. There may -- may -- have been a point where I may -- may -- have gone off. At one point he said that, because I didn't do this he wasn't able to tip off his friends into getting into the league, which means it was my fault. And either because I was pissed, or scared, or wanted to go on the attack before I had to defend myself or simply wanted to let him know how it was going to be, I left him have it. And maybe that triggered something in him that gave him permission (at least in his mind) to go off on me.
Well, shit. I don't want to lose this guy forever, but I still have too much pride to back down from what I said. Sometimes I think it's better if I just go build a cabin in the woods and live by myself for a couple years, like Henry David Thoreau.
Saturday, September 12, 2015
My Wallet's Getting Thinner While My Waistline's Getting Bigger
It has dawned on me that it is quite possible that I am spending more money on eating out than on strippers. I have surmised that yesterday afternoon. I went to the University of Minnesota volleyball game, where I customarily eat my hot dog and drink my Coke. After that, I was debating out whether I should go home because I was tired. Eventually, however, I realized that I should go to this place where I might be going to the next night (which is tonight) to watch our alma mater's game. I wasn't hungry, but I needed to see these guys, so I had wings and a beer. (Turned out to be money well spent, in my estimation; the guy who served me says he's going to be at work around gametime, so he'll at the very least make sure we get to see the game.)
I couldn't finish watching the rerun of Washington Week, so I conked off around 2:15, but I woke up at 8. I then felt energized enough to try and make it to downtown Minneapolis to hit the 9 o'clock soccer games, although, once again, I got there too late before the games began, which pisses me off. I knew I had a long day out, and that nearly always means I'll be shoving something in my mouth while I am. I didn't want to spend a lot of money today, plus I still felt the wings in my belly. So I limited myself to a Strongbow at the pub. I then had to check in with the bar where we usually see our games to say that we're not seeing this week's game there; I got a soup and sandwich but just water to drink. I then needed to blog, so I'm at Caffetto to bang this out. At least I'm getting only a coffee.
I think I'll trim my sails and go home before hitting this bar in St. Paul for the 7 o'clock game tonight. But to make sure we can come back to them if we need them again this season, I'll be having dinner. And I'll need to get there way before 7, so I think I'll eat a lot. More food, more money.
Swear to God, as soon as my parents leave, I'm just going to hole up in the house and just eat all the leftovers they left for me. Well, can't do that ... have to go to Buffalo Wild Wings next week. ...
(One caveat to all of this: I was at a stripper party before the volleyball game. I ate a lot of food, but I also spent a lot of money on strippers.)
I couldn't finish watching the rerun of Washington Week, so I conked off around 2:15, but I woke up at 8. I then felt energized enough to try and make it to downtown Minneapolis to hit the 9 o'clock soccer games, although, once again, I got there too late before the games began, which pisses me off. I knew I had a long day out, and that nearly always means I'll be shoving something in my mouth while I am. I didn't want to spend a lot of money today, plus I still felt the wings in my belly. So I limited myself to a Strongbow at the pub. I then had to check in with the bar where we usually see our games to say that we're not seeing this week's game there; I got a soup and sandwich but just water to drink. I then needed to blog, so I'm at Caffetto to bang this out. At least I'm getting only a coffee.
I think I'll trim my sails and go home before hitting this bar in St. Paul for the 7 o'clock game tonight. But to make sure we can come back to them if we need them again this season, I'll be having dinner. And I'll need to get there way before 7, so I think I'll eat a lot. More food, more money.
Swear to God, as soon as my parents leave, I'm just going to hole up in the house and just eat all the leftovers they left for me. Well, can't do that ... have to go to Buffalo Wild Wings next week. ...
(One caveat to all of this: I was at a stripper party before the volleyball game. I ate a lot of food, but I also spent a lot of money on strippers.)
Friday, September 11, 2015
Fuck This Weirdness
OK, so I went into this shopping mall bathroom to take off my underwear in preparation of this stripper party I'm about to go to. Since it's a mall bathroom floor, of course I'm going to put my zippered sweater on that post hanging from the door. But I look and there's toilet paper wrapped and knotted around that post. What the fuck? Who the hell does that, why, and why didn't they have the decency to toss it? Did some guy think that the hook from the door was dirtier than the floor? Now seeing that made me think the hook, and the toilet paper tied on it, was contaminated. So I had no choice but to put my hoodie on the floor. Never seen that before.
I go to the library next; I'm typing this from here. I had a choice of sitting next to some old dude in some shorts and what looks to be German mountain man suspenders who decides to stand up even though he has a perfectly good chair to sit on, or some dude. Of course I take the computer next to Some Dude, because he just looks like Some Dude. Except that as soon as I sit down, I see that he's playing an online version of The Price Is Right, with the sound turned up, without the headphones on. And he's talking to himself, too. Some Dude is actually Crazy Dude. I mean, talking to yourself is bad enough; why the hell don't you put the headphones on so the library doesn't have to hear you play fucking Plinko? Are you scared the headphones are ... contaminated? Well, that kind of makes sense ... no, no, no, that dick should've put on headphones on to spare me his noise and weirdness.
I go to the library next; I'm typing this from here. I had a choice of sitting next to some old dude in some shorts and what looks to be German mountain man suspenders who decides to stand up even though he has a perfectly good chair to sit on, or some dude. Of course I take the computer next to Some Dude, because he just looks like Some Dude. Except that as soon as I sit down, I see that he's playing an online version of The Price Is Right, with the sound turned up, without the headphones on. And he's talking to himself, too. Some Dude is actually Crazy Dude. I mean, talking to yourself is bad enough; why the hell don't you put the headphones on so the library doesn't have to hear you play fucking Plinko? Are you scared the headphones are ... contaminated? Well, that kind of makes sense ... no, no, no, that dick should've put on headphones on to spare me his noise and weirdness.
Addendum To: Now My Friend Is Affected (ETA: sic) My Driving
Yesterday I was at a library trying to work on a fitting reply to my frenemy's hateful bile of an e-mail to me. It was important for me to get this out tonight, so even though I didn't think I'd be able to think through and finish the whole thing in the library that afternoon, I wanted to devote more time to it there in order to save myself as much time in the evening finishing it up. In the back of my mind I knew that even though I was relatively far away from home, I realized that there was a side street I could take that wasn't busy; I could take that all the way home and in no time.
But, of course, as I was driving he and that goddamn e-mail were on my mind and I missed my exit. OK, I thought, I'll just take the highway home. And then I saw as I was going through the long and curving on-ramp that, for some reason, it was backed up. Like, more backed up than usual for afternoon rush hour. So I shimmied my way to the next available exit. At this point, I thought, better to go back to my original plan and going up the side street if the traffic on the highway was going to be that bad.
But, fuck me, I run into a huge back-up while getting there. WTF?? Then I saw that a light at an intersection I needed to go through to get to the side street was broken, so all four ways were getting the blinking red light. So all these cars were being held up as people took turns and/or waiting for other cars to drive through the intersection. By the time I got through that, onto the side street and on my way home, I had spent almost 40 minutes in my car. That was significantly more time than I would have wasted if I had just crawled on the highway.
I hate how my friend, this frenemy, this guy is getting to me.
But, of course, as I was driving he and that goddamn e-mail were on my mind and I missed my exit. OK, I thought, I'll just take the highway home. And then I saw as I was going through the long and curving on-ramp that, for some reason, it was backed up. Like, more backed up than usual for afternoon rush hour. So I shimmied my way to the next available exit. At this point, I thought, better to go back to my original plan and going up the side street if the traffic on the highway was going to be that bad.
But, fuck me, I run into a huge back-up while getting there. WTF?? Then I saw that a light at an intersection I needed to go through to get to the side street was broken, so all four ways were getting the blinking red light. So all these cars were being held up as people took turns and/or waiting for other cars to drive through the intersection. By the time I got through that, onto the side street and on my way home, I had spent almost 40 minutes in my car. That was significantly more time than I would have wasted if I had just crawled on the highway.
I hate how my friend, this frenemy, this guy is getting to me.
Thursday, September 10, 2015
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
#-1: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -4). OK, now this is the Gopher volleyball team that fans have grown to know and love. The squad swept both of their games in the ACC/Big Ten Challenge in Louisville, Ky., over the weekend. They started off shaky, needing five sets and 39 kills from Senior Outside Hitter Daly Santana to outlast the host Cardinals. But they may have righted themselves for the season in sweeping then-18th-ranked North Carolina, 23-22-18. For their perfect weekend, Samantha Seliger-Swenson was named conference Setter and Rookie Of The Week, and Libero Dalianliz Rosado was one of the Defensive Players Of The Week for the B1G.
I thought that would vault them into the AVCA Top 25, but it only got them 28th place. (The Tar Heels, the team they upset, is the club right ahead of them.) But that's still a vast improvement over where they were the poll before. And it makes me feel a lot better for their prospects this weekend as the Gophers host their annual Diet Coke Classic, where they cram three matches into a Friday and Saturday. I hope I see some semblance of their A team and game Friday evening, where I plan on going to see them face off against California-Irvine. They then face North Dakota St. Saturday morning before what probably will be the marquee match of the tournament when they go up against Central Florida that evening.
#-2: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -2). A very important tide-stemmer this weekend. In a pair of true road games, the side beat Marquette in Milwaukee, 2-1 in Overtime, then on Sunday evening they drew scoreless with Texas Tech in Lubbock, Tex. For contributing to their team's undefeated weekend, Haley Helverson was named Big Ten Defensive Player, and April Bockin Big Ten Co-Freshman, Of The Week.
I don't know how this weekend factors into Minnesota's overall tourney profile, but in Hero Sports they climb four spots to #37 in its all-Division I poll. And they can further build on that weekend as they come home to Robbie Stadium this weekend. I would have really loved to have gone to their game Friday evening against New Mexico, a team you don't see around these parts, but I think I should go to the volleyball game instead. But I'll try and make it up to them Sunday afternoon when they face an opponent I'm not so hot about, Nebraska-Omaha.
#-3: Twins (Last Week: -1). OK, so I forecast that a road trip where they go 2-4 would be enough to keep them in the race. They did me one better (even though it technically is a 3-4 screening week because the Twinks failed to sweep the Chicago White Sox Thursday, losing 6-4), which means they are only 1 1/2 games behind the Texas Rangers for American League Wild Card 2. I am heartened that they won a game in Houston and claimed the series against the division-leading Kansas City Royals. That means they can go toe-to-toe with the best clubs in the majors, which means that them battling for the playoffs the rest of this month won't completely faze them.
Even better for The Hometown Nine is that looks much more hospitable for them compared to The Bastard Washington Senators v.2.0. While they still have two series against Houston, there are no surefire playoff teams the Twins have to face the rest of the season. We aren't talking about AAA ballclubs; this weekend they visit Comiskey Park for three, then begin their final homestand of the regular season Monday with three against demoralized Detroit and fellow ALWC2 aspirant the Anaheim Angels Thursday. They are good enough in the rotation and the lineup to win five of those seven games. If they can pull that off, they should be at most a half-game behind for that final Wild Card spot. We'll see; this is a time to not just learn, but succeed before their time.
#-4: Lynx (Last Week: -3). These guys are cooked. Blow it up, trade all the pieces, start from scratch. On Sunday, in what was the biggest game of the season, the Jynx shit their pants and turned the ball over late, giving the visiting New York Liberty the 75-71 victory in Target Center. That put them two games clear of the Jynx in the race for home-court advantage throughout the WNBA Playoffs, which I think they later would clinch. A team that went all-in with the acquisition of Ashja Jones, a squad that people touted would be a slam-dunk champion this year, has in its hands instead of the makings of a greatness only the best record in the Western Conference.
By the way, even that was a struggle; they clinched the West by beating the eliminated Seattle Storm only by a score of 73-67 Tuesday. Nevertheless they are in line to run into a rejuvenated Phoenix Mercury team. Hell, they may not even make it past the first round of the playoffs since they are in line to face the well-rested Candace Parker and the resurgent Los Angeles Sparks. The Jynx have clearly run out of gas; tenacity, experience and luck are the only things holding this wheezing contraption together, and it's all going to fall apart in the playoffs, and it's going to be fucking embarrassing. Pisses me off and disappoints me to no end at the same time.
Their final regular season game is Friday night in Seattle. Then the playoffs begin, and they'll be quickly escorted out of that. You know, this makes me regret not getting a 2013 Lynx WNBA Championship t-shirt. Does anyone know where I can get one? It'll be the last title swag this franchise will be printing for a long time.
#-5: Gopher football (Re-Entry!). It's really hard to gauge how the team really did in its season-opening, 23-17 loss to then-2nd-ranked TCU at TCF Bank Stadium Thursday evening over the radio. So I tried to glean the flow and the momentum of the game through observations on Twitter. And they're still divided. Some people say that the game was not as close as the score indicates, but some others insisted that the U. was one or two or three plays away from springing the upset.
There are some facts you can take away from the defeat. First of all, TCU is now ranked third in both the writers' and coaches' poll, and you have to think the Gophs had something to do with that. Minnesota also nicked the rest of the year of the Horned Frogs' Linebacker Sammy Douglas, who suffered an injury that is "undisclosed" during the game. Finally, there is a consensus that the Goofs' defense played a whale of a game containing TCU Quarterback and Heisman Trophy hopeful Trevonne Boykin, but they were done in by an anemic offense whose Quarterback, Mitch Leidner, still has trouble throwing the ball. That combination is seen by some as still sufficient to win a B1G West that shows signs that it is down; Nebraska lost at home to BYU on a Hail Mary, while Wisconsin got trampled in the second half of their game vs. Alabama. Whether or not that means the team is a good team or merely a lucky one is still being figured out. They hope to get more clarity Saturday afternoon, where they visit Colorado St. Luckily they won't face Jim McElwain, former Rams Head Coach who now is manning the sidelines at Florida.
I thought that would vault them into the AVCA Top 25, but it only got them 28th place. (The Tar Heels, the team they upset, is the club right ahead of them.) But that's still a vast improvement over where they were the poll before. And it makes me feel a lot better for their prospects this weekend as the Gophers host their annual Diet Coke Classic, where they cram three matches into a Friday and Saturday. I hope I see some semblance of their A team and game Friday evening, where I plan on going to see them face off against California-Irvine. They then face North Dakota St. Saturday morning before what probably will be the marquee match of the tournament when they go up against Central Florida that evening.
#-2: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -2). A very important tide-stemmer this weekend. In a pair of true road games, the side beat Marquette in Milwaukee, 2-1 in Overtime, then on Sunday evening they drew scoreless with Texas Tech in Lubbock, Tex. For contributing to their team's undefeated weekend, Haley Helverson was named Big Ten Defensive Player, and April Bockin Big Ten Co-Freshman, Of The Week.
I don't know how this weekend factors into Minnesota's overall tourney profile, but in Hero Sports they climb four spots to #37 in its all-Division I poll. And they can further build on that weekend as they come home to Robbie Stadium this weekend. I would have really loved to have gone to their game Friday evening against New Mexico, a team you don't see around these parts, but I think I should go to the volleyball game instead. But I'll try and make it up to them Sunday afternoon when they face an opponent I'm not so hot about, Nebraska-Omaha.
#-3: Twins (Last Week: -1). OK, so I forecast that a road trip where they go 2-4 would be enough to keep them in the race. They did me one better (even though it technically is a 3-4 screening week because the Twinks failed to sweep the Chicago White Sox Thursday, losing 6-4), which means they are only 1 1/2 games behind the Texas Rangers for American League Wild Card 2. I am heartened that they won a game in Houston and claimed the series against the division-leading Kansas City Royals. That means they can go toe-to-toe with the best clubs in the majors, which means that them battling for the playoffs the rest of this month won't completely faze them.
Even better for The Hometown Nine is that looks much more hospitable for them compared to The Bastard Washington Senators v.2.0. While they still have two series against Houston, there are no surefire playoff teams the Twins have to face the rest of the season. We aren't talking about AAA ballclubs; this weekend they visit Comiskey Park for three, then begin their final homestand of the regular season Monday with three against demoralized Detroit and fellow ALWC2 aspirant the Anaheim Angels Thursday. They are good enough in the rotation and the lineup to win five of those seven games. If they can pull that off, they should be at most a half-game behind for that final Wild Card spot. We'll see; this is a time to not just learn, but succeed before their time.
#-4: Lynx (Last Week: -3). These guys are cooked. Blow it up, trade all the pieces, start from scratch. On Sunday, in what was the biggest game of the season, the Jynx shit their pants and turned the ball over late, giving the visiting New York Liberty the 75-71 victory in Target Center. That put them two games clear of the Jynx in the race for home-court advantage throughout the WNBA Playoffs, which I think they later would clinch. A team that went all-in with the acquisition of Ashja Jones, a squad that people touted would be a slam-dunk champion this year, has in its hands instead of the makings of a greatness only the best record in the Western Conference.
By the way, even that was a struggle; they clinched the West by beating the eliminated Seattle Storm only by a score of 73-67 Tuesday. Nevertheless they are in line to run into a rejuvenated Phoenix Mercury team. Hell, they may not even make it past the first round of the playoffs since they are in line to face the well-rested Candace Parker and the resurgent Los Angeles Sparks. The Jynx have clearly run out of gas; tenacity, experience and luck are the only things holding this wheezing contraption together, and it's all going to fall apart in the playoffs, and it's going to be fucking embarrassing. Pisses me off and disappoints me to no end at the same time.
Their final regular season game is Friday night in Seattle. Then the playoffs begin, and they'll be quickly escorted out of that. You know, this makes me regret not getting a 2013 Lynx WNBA Championship t-shirt. Does anyone know where I can get one? It'll be the last title swag this franchise will be printing for a long time.
#-5: Gopher football (Re-Entry!). It's really hard to gauge how the team really did in its season-opening, 23-17 loss to then-2nd-ranked TCU at TCF Bank Stadium Thursday evening over the radio. So I tried to glean the flow and the momentum of the game through observations on Twitter. And they're still divided. Some people say that the game was not as close as the score indicates, but some others insisted that the U. was one or two or three plays away from springing the upset.
There are some facts you can take away from the defeat. First of all, TCU is now ranked third in both the writers' and coaches' poll, and you have to think the Gophs had something to do with that. Minnesota also nicked the rest of the year of the Horned Frogs' Linebacker Sammy Douglas, who suffered an injury that is "undisclosed" during the game. Finally, there is a consensus that the Goofs' defense played a whale of a game containing TCU Quarterback and Heisman Trophy hopeful Trevonne Boykin, but they were done in by an anemic offense whose Quarterback, Mitch Leidner, still has trouble throwing the ball. That combination is seen by some as still sufficient to win a B1G West that shows signs that it is down; Nebraska lost at home to BYU on a Hail Mary, while Wisconsin got trampled in the second half of their game vs. Alabama. Whether or not that means the team is a good team or merely a lucky one is still being figured out. They hope to get more clarity Saturday afternoon, where they visit Colorado St. Luckily they won't face Jim McElwain, former Rams Head Coach who now is manning the sidelines at Florida.
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
Now My Friend Is Affected (ETA: sic) My Driving
So I sent a missive defending myself from my friend who's nagging me about how I'm running the fantasy football league. I thought a lot about how I didn't want to come off yelling at my friend, but I wanted to respond to what I thought was him overreacting. Yesterday, my friend replied, and at this point, he is rapidly turning into my frenemy. He accused me of wasting his time and writing a "diatribe" in his multi-page e-mail. He says I contradict myself. And then he finally said this definitely will be the last year he is in my fantasy league. Strong words coming from a guy who continually acts like a commissioner in my league -- one, by the way, where we are not gambling for money.
I am pissed off. And I'll be honest: I am more angered by his accusations than the fact that a friend is yelling at me. What I mean by that is I am less (well, no longer) concerned about his feelings than clearing the air about what I do and what I get to do. Bottom line: I care more about my honor than my friendship with him. That may be sad, but honestly, after freely attacking me, I think he feels the same.
Regardless of why, this has been on my mind, a lot. And it has affected my behavior, unfortunately. The most egregious manifestation of that happened as I was driving this morning. Before coming here for coffee, I wanted to go to the gas station to get some money. I was stopped at a light, and I was stopped there for a long time. I got antsy because Father was telling me as I was leaving was that they were going out for a morning walk, and that walk cuts close to this gas station. If I had to wait any longer, they might have seen me take the wrong turn towards the coffeeshop rather than "to work" as I leave the gas station. Frustrated, I took a right turn to go to this ATM in the bank down the street rather than wait for the light to turn green so I could drive through.
As I was getting to the ATM a car cuts in front of me. I was not driving slow, but the car that was behind me decided I was; she changed lanes and then cut back into my lane in front of me. Now, I usually let that go. But I was thinking about my frenemy's letter all throughout the drive, and I got ginned up waiting for the traffic light, and that just pissed me off. So I changed lanes, drove through the stop sign and cut back in front of her before I took the left to the ATM. And unlike her, I did not turn on my signal.
But then she took a left. Oh, well. I was so angry that I was ready for a fight, I was ready to step outside and confront her if we were both going to the ATM. Luckily (for her or for me?), she went straight while I took a right. While she passed she looked at me; I glared back at her. She probably was thinking, "What the fuck?" So am I, but I know deep down I was scared, and she must have been, too.
And then, after that car was out of my vicinity and I was at the ATM, I thought to myself, "You know, I don't think that was necessary." Oh, I still believe that she did a dick move, as many have done to me throughout the years. It was only this morning where I decided to finally fight back. Of course, you never should do that because of the danger that might cause. But honestly, if not for my frenemy and that damn e-mail, I gave into the devils of my worse nature. I'm lucky nothing happened.
And still, still, I am upset over him disrespecting me. And I have no other choice but to respond in kind. But how? Will this continue to affect me and my behavior? And what if he replies back?
I am pissed off. And I'll be honest: I am more angered by his accusations than the fact that a friend is yelling at me. What I mean by that is I am less (well, no longer) concerned about his feelings than clearing the air about what I do and what I get to do. Bottom line: I care more about my honor than my friendship with him. That may be sad, but honestly, after freely attacking me, I think he feels the same.
Regardless of why, this has been on my mind, a lot. And it has affected my behavior, unfortunately. The most egregious manifestation of that happened as I was driving this morning. Before coming here for coffee, I wanted to go to the gas station to get some money. I was stopped at a light, and I was stopped there for a long time. I got antsy because Father was telling me as I was leaving was that they were going out for a morning walk, and that walk cuts close to this gas station. If I had to wait any longer, they might have seen me take the wrong turn towards the coffeeshop rather than "to work" as I leave the gas station. Frustrated, I took a right turn to go to this ATM in the bank down the street rather than wait for the light to turn green so I could drive through.
As I was getting to the ATM a car cuts in front of me. I was not driving slow, but the car that was behind me decided I was; she changed lanes and then cut back into my lane in front of me. Now, I usually let that go. But I was thinking about my frenemy's letter all throughout the drive, and I got ginned up waiting for the traffic light, and that just pissed me off. So I changed lanes, drove through the stop sign and cut back in front of her before I took the left to the ATM. And unlike her, I did not turn on my signal.
But then she took a left. Oh, well. I was so angry that I was ready for a fight, I was ready to step outside and confront her if we were both going to the ATM. Luckily (for her or for me?), she went straight while I took a right. While she passed she looked at me; I glared back at her. She probably was thinking, "What the fuck?" So am I, but I know deep down I was scared, and she must have been, too.
And then, after that car was out of my vicinity and I was at the ATM, I thought to myself, "You know, I don't think that was necessary." Oh, I still believe that she did a dick move, as many have done to me throughout the years. It was only this morning where I decided to finally fight back. Of course, you never should do that because of the danger that might cause. But honestly, if not for my frenemy and that damn e-mail, I gave into the devils of my worse nature. I'm lucky nothing happened.
And still, still, I am upset over him disrespecting me. And I have no other choice but to respond in kind. But how? Will this continue to affect me and my behavior? And what if he replies back?
Tuesday, September 8, 2015
Best Summer Ever? Not To Me It Was
With Labor Day ended, it is the unofficial Death Of Summer. Saw on Channel 11 something I have heard off and on over the past few months: This has been The Greatest Summer In The History Of The Twin Cities.
In these past reports I heard of something called the Summer Glory Index, which is a direct reflection of the Winter Misery Index. I don't remember the criteria, but I know a couple of the raw facts and general conditions that led some people to celebrate the past season: Only four days of temperatures in the nineties; humidity relatively in check for most of the summer; not many really bad outbreaks of severe weather; and as of press time only 3% of the state in any level of drought, and even that is only at the mildest level, Abnormally Dry.
Those facts taken together are indeed signs of a very great, tolerable summer. But that wasn't exactly the summer I experienced. Oh no. Not to say that I found it to be completely unbearable. Summer, while being the main break in the year for me and as for everyone else in the United States (which was probably ingrained in us from school), still has never been completely compatible to me. For one thing, I hate hot weather; even though I know we have had much sweltering seasons in years past, I still couldn't deal with it most days this year. Also, my allergies are making a late-summer comeback to bother me. It's not so much my nose as it is my eyes; for the past few weeks, especially in the hours where I am not on my allergy nasal spray, I have been scratching my eyeballs furiously, and I know I've been walking around with red eyes in the evening.
Finally, and most importantly, the one really bad instance of shitty weather this summer hit me like a punch right in the nose. It was that goddamn hailstorm that damaged my car. Cost me $500 in deductibles, $500 I sorely need now that I'm not working. In that sense I'm not the only one bitter not to share in The Greatest Summer In The History Of The Twin Cities: The folks up in the Brainerd Lakes area had a hellacious storm tear through their area, causing all sorts of damage that still has yet to be completely cleaned up. They, like me, will not bask in the glory of what factually was a fantastic summer because one specific event skewed it to something memorable for all the wrong reasons.
In these past reports I heard of something called the Summer Glory Index, which is a direct reflection of the Winter Misery Index. I don't remember the criteria, but I know a couple of the raw facts and general conditions that led some people to celebrate the past season: Only four days of temperatures in the nineties; humidity relatively in check for most of the summer; not many really bad outbreaks of severe weather; and as of press time only 3% of the state in any level of drought, and even that is only at the mildest level, Abnormally Dry.
Those facts taken together are indeed signs of a very great, tolerable summer. But that wasn't exactly the summer I experienced. Oh no. Not to say that I found it to be completely unbearable. Summer, while being the main break in the year for me and as for everyone else in the United States (which was probably ingrained in us from school), still has never been completely compatible to me. For one thing, I hate hot weather; even though I know we have had much sweltering seasons in years past, I still couldn't deal with it most days this year. Also, my allergies are making a late-summer comeback to bother me. It's not so much my nose as it is my eyes; for the past few weeks, especially in the hours where I am not on my allergy nasal spray, I have been scratching my eyeballs furiously, and I know I've been walking around with red eyes in the evening.
Finally, and most importantly, the one really bad instance of shitty weather this summer hit me like a punch right in the nose. It was that goddamn hailstorm that damaged my car. Cost me $500 in deductibles, $500 I sorely need now that I'm not working. In that sense I'm not the only one bitter not to share in The Greatest Summer In The History Of The Twin Cities: The folks up in the Brainerd Lakes area had a hellacious storm tear through their area, causing all sorts of damage that still has yet to be completely cleaned up. They, like me, will not bask in the glory of what factually was a fantastic summer because one specific event skewed it to something memorable for all the wrong reasons.
Monday, September 7, 2015
State Fair Talent
I'm going back to the State Fair one last time. Didn't plan on it. Thought I would go only twice: Once to kick off the fair, and another to catch what may be my one and only time watching A Prairie Home Companion. See, I would've gone there more often, but the flu biller place holds shot clinics there, and I was afraid that I would run into one of them while walking around the Fair, eating my cheese curds or something, and I would have to make up some bullshit story about, "Oh, I just thought I wanted to do something else," and then they would go, "Oh, I know about The Asshole who yelled at you around Labor Day. That's why you're not coming back, right?" And I'd be caught with my pants around my ankles.
But I'm going back and tempting fate a third and final time. Why? Well, for one thing, it's Labor Day and there ain't a goddamn thing else to do. Second, after the brutal humid weather we've had the past several days, the last day promises to be a beaut: Sunny, temperatures topping out at around 80, and most important of all, no humidity. (By the way, it never ceases to amaze me that the end of the Minnesota State Fair also means The Death Of Summer; starting on Tuesday, highs will slide down to the seventies and bottom out at the sixties by week's end. Just in time for school to start!) And finally, and most of all, I get to see all the hot, gorgeous Minnesota babes flaunting their barebellies for one final public strut for all to see. I wouldn't mind getting caught with my pants around my ankles then, if you know what I mean!
Opening Day was good, but this past Friday was even better. The babes were everywhere. But three of them stand out. The first was while I was eating Sweet Martha's Cookies while pairing them with the All-You-Can-Drink-Milk barn, which doubled its price from one buck to two (boo!). While I was just veging out there I saw two girls walk by. The hotter of the two was a shortie, she was oozing confidence with her sunglasses on, and she had on this red, frilly top that, as she swung her hips back-and-forth while walking, showed off her tan and somewhat hard abs and, I believe, her pierced belly. Yowza!
Then, while walking past the International Bazaar, I saw some lucky dude hand-in-hand with another shortie, with brunette hair, with a coat unzipped to show off what looked to be a halter top. But she was getting some sun on her alabaster stomach. Double yowza!!
Finally, while eating corn on the cob, there was this, uh, younger chick with blonde hair. She was wearing this top whose bottom elastic came down just beneath her breasts, which were pretty big for a girl like her. They were so sizable, and she was just waiting around and checking her phone as if it weren't a big deal to be walking around so sexy like that -- it isn't! -- that I had to kind and, uh, observe her for as long as she was standing around the corn barn. She left after several minutes, either because she found the people she was trying to find or she saw me stalking her. Ah, but I still have memories, babe. Triple yowza!!!
Like the first two, this hottie was also short. But I thought all three were so sexy they could be models. Why aren't there short models? Are models supposed to be tall? Doesn't seem fair. Just a thought.
So yeah, I saw so many spank-worthy women out at the State Fair that I'm going to go out there one more time. And there's a decent chance that I'll see even more. It's the last day, the weather's going to be perfect so people will be out in force, and it's going to be sunny, which means more babes are going to want to sun themselves by wearing the skimpiest clothing possible! Yay for a pervert like me!!!!
But I'm going back and tempting fate a third and final time. Why? Well, for one thing, it's Labor Day and there ain't a goddamn thing else to do. Second, after the brutal humid weather we've had the past several days, the last day promises to be a beaut: Sunny, temperatures topping out at around 80, and most important of all, no humidity. (By the way, it never ceases to amaze me that the end of the Minnesota State Fair also means The Death Of Summer; starting on Tuesday, highs will slide down to the seventies and bottom out at the sixties by week's end. Just in time for school to start!) And finally, and most of all, I get to see all the hot, gorgeous Minnesota babes flaunting their barebellies for one final public strut for all to see. I wouldn't mind getting caught with my pants around my ankles then, if you know what I mean!
Opening Day was good, but this past Friday was even better. The babes were everywhere. But three of them stand out. The first was while I was eating Sweet Martha's Cookies while pairing them with the All-You-Can-Drink-Milk barn, which doubled its price from one buck to two (boo!). While I was just veging out there I saw two girls walk by. The hotter of the two was a shortie, she was oozing confidence with her sunglasses on, and she had on this red, frilly top that, as she swung her hips back-and-forth while walking, showed off her tan and somewhat hard abs and, I believe, her pierced belly. Yowza!
Then, while walking past the International Bazaar, I saw some lucky dude hand-in-hand with another shortie, with brunette hair, with a coat unzipped to show off what looked to be a halter top. But she was getting some sun on her alabaster stomach. Double yowza!!
Finally, while eating corn on the cob, there was this, uh, younger chick with blonde hair. She was wearing this top whose bottom elastic came down just beneath her breasts, which were pretty big for a girl like her. They were so sizable, and she was just waiting around and checking her phone as if it weren't a big deal to be walking around so sexy like that -- it isn't! -- that I had to kind and, uh, observe her for as long as she was standing around the corn barn. She left after several minutes, either because she found the people she was trying to find or she saw me stalking her. Ah, but I still have memories, babe. Triple yowza!!!
Like the first two, this hottie was also short. But I thought all three were so sexy they could be models. Why aren't there short models? Are models supposed to be tall? Doesn't seem fair. Just a thought.
So yeah, I saw so many spank-worthy women out at the State Fair that I'm going to go out there one more time. And there's a decent chance that I'll see even more. It's the last day, the weather's going to be perfect so people will be out in force, and it's going to be sunny, which means more babes are going to want to sun themselves by wearing the skimpiest clothing possible! Yay for a pervert like me!!!!
Sunday, September 6, 2015
Almost Got Sideswiped Twice
I don't know what it is about today, but this afternoon, just driving to and from the Mall of America, I almost got hit by two cars who drifted out of their lane onto mine just as I was passing them. Don't know if it's the weather, or if they're not paying attention, or if they're drunk or if they have a death wish. But I don't think I've ever seen that twice in an afternoon. I had to honk my horn at both of them (I think; maybe it was only the second one). Almost got into a bad accident two times today. Can you believe that? What bad driving, geez.
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