Shit, Frozen Pipe

Wanted to use the shower in the master bathroom downstairs just now, but once I opened it up and saw that it was just trickling out, I lost my shit.

I've been scouring the Internet for the past half-hour to figure out just what the hell to do.

After looking around, I'm doing the following:

• Jacking the thermostat up to 70 for the time being.  Xcel wants everyone to take the thermostat down to 63 until 9 in the morning, but fuck that, I've got a frozen pipe.
• I finally opened up my parents' bedroom because the space heater I got for them as a gift was in there.  I took it out, put it in the bathroom, propped open the shower door, and am leaving it there.  I don't think it's wise to leave a space heater unattended, but fuck that, I've got a frozen pipe.

And, well, that's it.  They say I should run the faucet to a trickle, but I think I might flood the bathroom if I do that.  So I'm shutting it off and hoping I remember to at least run the shower in the morning before I go to work.

Goddamn, of course this shit will happen to me while my parents are gone.

Did I Do Something Stupid? Maybe I Did Something Stupid.

Um, first of all, some clean-up.  Plowed most of my driveway of snow Monday.  Broke one of the many yardsticks I got at the Minnesota State Fair to measure the snowfall on the driveway, and most of the spots measured 4 1/2-5 inches.  The snowblower worked just fine.  Crapped out near the end, but that was just after I plowed the curb up to my mailbox while the carrier was just four mailboxes away.  And seeing that Honda churn through those 4 1/2-5 inches of snow like it was something just injects me with testosterone.

So now comes the difficult part.  The temperatures, and the windchill, plummeted throughout yesterday.  The worst of the worst of this deep freeze comes this morning.  In fact, at 6 a.m., the ideal time I should be out the door to get to work, is precisely (according to what I have seen) the time when both the air temperature and the feel factor or at their worst -- something like -30 for real and -60 as it feels.  I may not have ever felt temps that low in my life.  But shoot, I want to experience it.  I have yet to be out the door for this line of work regularly at 6 in the morning, but for the nadir of this bitter cold snap ... eh, maybe, if I am not too tired.

With that being said, my main concern during these few days is my car.  I have heard that driving your car for long periods of time helps "charge" the battery -- sort of like jump-starting your car, except, well, not.  And I am deathly afraid that I will walk out either this morning or tomorrow morning and not getting the engine to turn over.  So I have done something that government officials have warned people not to do: I drove last night.  Twice, in fact.  First, it was to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition) because I wanted to surprise the girls on the late shift by getting a lapdance with each one.  But, like most other places in town, they closed early.  Second, I went to one of the remaining SuperAmericas in town, just up Central, to buy another Coke that gets me closer to a free one, which I hopefully will get before that gas station converts to a Speedway.  I also got a hot dog, which I ate inside, of course, before I headed off north on Central to get my battery a few more miles and minutes to get charged up.  That's why I'm not totally bent out of shape that the nudie bar was closed.  I still got my car going through its paces, so to speak, in the midst of this cold snap.

And spacing those a couple hours apart, and the latter of which six hours before I go to work, hopefully means that there are enough jumpy ions that'll convert to electrons and therefore start the car.  I didn't really want to drive in the cold, and under treacherous driving conditions (the snow and ice that are on the ground obviously stay there; whatever treatments MNDOT could put down are useless when temperatures are this cold), but I would do it if it keeps my battery running.  Now, there are eight-plus hours when my car is sitting cold at work, but that's a risk I'll take.

And even though the worst of the worst will be over once I get to work, I plan on driving, once and to nowhere in particular, tonight, also so my battery will stay warm.  It may be a waste of gasoline, and maybe it's useless.  But I'm doing it anyway because I think it'll ensure that my car works when I need it to get to work.  Heck, I'm just glad my parents aren't here, yelling me to not do this.

Wish me luck that my plan works.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -3).  I don't want to downplay any road sweep of a ranked squad, which is what this team did in crushing then-#7 Ohio St. by scores of 7-2 and 7-1.  But that still proves that top-flight women's college hockey remains lopsided, and that this year, Minnesota remains a stalking horse to Wisconsin, which leads the U. in the rankings for yet another week.  It really is going to boil down to the NCAA Tournament, if not the final, no?

They host Minnesota-Duluth this Saturday and Sunday.

#-2: Wild (Last Week: -2).  Finished the first half of their year soundly beating a squad hot on the Wild's heels, The Bastard Quebec Nordiques, 5-2 in Denver on Wednesday.  For a team that has run hot and cold so often and is barely above .500 (26-24), their three-game winning streak has them clinging to third place in the Central.  There are worse places to be this time in the year.

This team's All-Star break is a glorious eight Games long.  But they plunge back into play with a back-to-back -- at The Team That Was Stolen From Us (another team nipping at Minnesota's heels) Friday, home to Chicago Saturday.

#-3: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: 0).  Crushed Wisconsin in Madison Friday night, 27-13, despite #8 Mitch McKee getting Felled by #16 Tristan Moran in an upset at 141.  These grapplers also participated in something called the North Country Open, which appears to be an invitational featuring schools from the local area.  The U. isn't winning NCAA titles anytime soon, yet I think it's kind of sad that the Division I school in the state is picking on guys from the likes of Augsburg.

Whatever.  Hosting Purdue at Maturi Super Bowl Sunday afternoon.

#-4: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -4).  I don't really want to count moral victories, but this club did go on the road and lost Tuesday to Michigan, a Final Four contender, on a buzzer-beating basket, 59-57.  They then outlasted Iowa at Williams Sunday afternoon, 92-87, the third ranked team they have beaten.  The adage goes that Big Ten teams make the Big Dance if they reach 20 wins, and these guys are on their way to doing that, provided that they beat the teams they are supposed to beat.

Jordan Murphy remains a beast, BTW, receiving B1G Co-Player Of The Week honors after rising to second all-time in Rebounds in the conference during the win over the Hawkeyes.

This week: Hosting Illinois Wednesday (a winnable game), then visiting Purdue Super Bowl Sunday early afternoon (a non-winnable game).

#-5: United FC (Re-Entry!).  Finally, this side is having a good off-season.  And finally, this organization is paying serious attention to its deficiencies.  Front office and ownership are doing that by holding up their end of their promise and finally -- at least on paper and at least for now -- spending now that they have a home stadium to call their own and, presumably, they are raking in the dough that was so unfairly denied them their first two years at TCF Bank Stadium.

And unlike past years, where they decided they wanted a surplus of Wingers and Forwards, they finally took steps to shore up the back half of their XI.  Back on the 10th they signed off waivers Ozzie Alonso, a proven, if injury-hobbled and past-his-prime, Defensive Midfielder.  On Friday they signed Right Fullback Romain Metanire, who has spent time in Ligue 1.

But late last/Monday night was the kick in the ass.  MNUFC traded up to $100,000 in Targeted Allocation Money to Sporting Kansas City in exchange for Ike Opara.  When I went to the Major League Soccer website and saw the headline, I thought, "Hey, Ike Opara -- I've heard of that name!"  And then I got unduly excited for a man my age.  But this is the superstar guy that also fills a position of need for the Loons.

In Opara, they get a shutdown Centerback who was the 2017 MLS Defensive Player Of The Year.  He missed significant time due to injury last year, and late in the season he demanded SKC either give him a raise or trade him.  Well, the Sporks did the latter -- and to United FC's gain.  Actually, it might be a win-win; $100,000 in Garber Bucks gives Kansas City flexbility.  In any case, the additions of Alonso and Opara provided this team with much-needed league experience.  Now, they have been injured in the past, so if the bug hits these two again, MNUFC is right back in the toilet.  But if they are healthy -- shoot, the Defense with this team will finally be competent.  And maybe, just maybe, Opara, Alonso and Metanire are the final pieces of the puzzle that helps get this team into the playoffs.

Let me take a flight of fancy here and compare and contrast this Opara trade with the Twins.  United FC has just made a move (actually several moves) that address a position (or positions) of need.  The Twins have steadfastly refused to do that in signing an ace Pitcher.  Then again, maybe the better comparison for this club isn't the Twins of 2019 but the Twins of 2010.  The baseballers finally got the stadium they wanted after promising that the greater revenue generated from Target Field will be plowed back into signing better players.  Once they got the stadium, what's the first thing they did?  Sign Joe Mauer to a long-term deal, the last year of which finally ended last year.  Is it quite the same thing as a trade?  No.  But it is a splashy move that showed that the franchise was going to hold up its end of the bargain for getting a brand-new stadium all its own.  Now, the team has not shown any continuous desire to sign free agents to a lot of money in the years since, thereby betraying fans by not holding up its end of the bargain.  And come to think of it, there's no guarantee MNUFC won't do the same.

Oh, and hey, all of this does not make up for trading Christian Ramirez.  But for all of the team's efforts this January, I can at least give them a middle-of-the-survey honorific for the screening week.

#-6: Timberwolves (Last Week: -6).  Started off the week by completing a home-and-home sweep (surprising, at least to me) of the Suns in Phoenix Tuesday by 27, then beating The Bastard Minneapolis Lakers in Los Angeles Thursday by 15.  They then finished off the week getting swept in a home-and-home with The Bastard New Orleans Jazz.  Friday's road loss was closer, only by four.

Quick observation: Seeing Jerryd Bayless play is startling.  Seeing Bayless play pretty well -- he led the Wolves in Assists in the road tilts vs. the Lakers and Jazz -- is heartening, especially knowing that he may be a third-teamer on the squad.  But it also shows that they are a severely compromised unit right now, with Robert Covington and Tyus Jones still out injured.

This is a relatively quiet week for the Woofie Dogs; they finish their three-Game homestand with contests Wednesday against The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies and Saturday versus Denver.

#-7: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -7).  I was at Saturday's contest at 3M, which commemorated the 1979 Minnesota championship hockey team.  Really cool.  What wasn't cool was the 4-3 loss they suffered at the hands of Wisconsin.  But it was nice to see the arena filled.  In fact, Mariucci had the highest-announced crowd in its history, with 10,686 tickets sold (there's no way there were that many people there; I saw scattered open seats in an arena that seats 10,000).  It was also nice to see some border battle fisticuffs; the game started out with the makings of a line brawl, with four players, two apiece, going into the box for Roughing After The Whistle.  The U.'s Blake McLaughlin was called for Slashing just before the brouhaha, so the Gopher penalty box was totally full, which amused me.

What was not amusing, however, was the continued inability for this team to play defense.  Most, if not all, of the Badgers Goals came via defensive breakdowns.  A further sign that the current iteration of #PrideOnIce is all O and no D?  All three of their Goals came on the Power Play, while all four of Wisky Goals came on Even Strength.  You get your Goals when you can, but being able to score 5-on-5 is a sign of strength, and this year, the Goofs don't have it.  But like I've said before -- Motzko, first year, mulligan.

By the way, I've been to three University of Minnesota men's hockey games this season, versus St. Lawrence, Ferris St. and Wisconsin.  The Gophs lost all three.  So even though a couple other teams went .500 this week, that accursed streak is the reason why these guys bring up the rear.

Hosting Michigan this weekend.

#-8: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -5).  Yeah, again, I know that I keep saying that a first-year Head Coach always gets a mulligan from me.  And yet, goddammit, I'm afraid that this fucking club is starting to piss me off.  I know that is not a rational emotion to have, but after starting out like gangbusters, they have free-fallen out of the NCAA Tournament ... and probably the WNIT as well (like that anybody gives a shit about that).

Nothing is winnable when it comes to this team anymore, but this team may be the worst in top-flight women's college basketball right now after dropping both games this screening week, both my eerily similar scores, to a decent Purdue team and an Ohio St. team that was, on paper, worse than these Golden Goofers, both at home.  And both matches had the same sorry blueprint that has happened way too often this year: Starting out well, then sinking like a stone in the back half.  The loss to the Buckeyes last/Monday night was textbook: The U. led by three, but Ohio St. tied it at the end of three, then the Bucks blitzed them 22-12 for a ten-point win.  There could be, like, a half-dozen games this year where they've just choked on leads they build up in the First Half.

This week: Thursday at Northwestern, home Sunday to Rutgers.  Since neither team is named Wisconsin, expect the losing streak to stretch to five games.

Winter Has Come

So the most wicked 1-2 punch we've had in many a winter has commenced, although the "1" felt like sort of a miss.  The snow that was coming came late; the Winter Storm Warning began at 3 yesterday, but I went to the final of the U.S. Pond Hockey Championships (although it was bitterly cold), Target, home and my aunt and uncle's place without nary a flake in sight.  It was snowing heavily once I left dinner at my relatives' a bit past 8, but when I woke up this morning and checked out the snow totals online, I see we got about, oh, maybe more than four inches.  Forecasts said that we would get socked with at least six and maybe get up to 12.  I have yet to step outside, but I'm not sure if I need to use the snowblower, even though I kind of think I should try to use it for the first time this winter.

Now, the "2" -- the cold.  We are in a Wind Chill (is it two words or one?) Advisory from 3 tomorrow/Tuesday morning until 3 that afternoon.  But then it gets worse: Right after that Advisory, we are in a Wind Chill Warning from 3 tomorrow afternoon Thursday at 9 a.m.  At its worst, around 3 a.m. Wednesday morning, the windchill here is supposed to reach, get this, -55.  The last time the WC was lower than that was the mid-eighties.

This week will test my adage that I would rather have the snow than the cold.  Right after finishing this, I will go out and clear my driveway of snow.  Hopefully it's not really cold right now.  But I have to work, and the trips out to the car the next three mornings may actually be dangerous.  And this brutal cold will not dissuade me from sleeping in my car for lunch, or at least trying to.

And, huh, this weekend we're going to be above freezing with a chance of rain.  Oh, God. ...

Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Saturday, January 26:

• This day was the first of two consecutive Saturdays where I was filling in for one of my trainers.  He works from 6 to 2:30.  I hope to Buddha he has those hours because he has family obligations in the afternoon, because if he has those hours because he wants them, he's crazy.  But to be honest, that day went by really quickly, and well; more on that some other time.  But I had to be sure I would be awake for it, so I went to the closest Caribou between home and work that would be open before 6.  Got a large mocha for my day, and I realized it was a good time to use, for the first time, the Caribou gift card that I won playing bingo at work.  I also wanted to buy food, and so I got maple brown sugar oatmeal because oatmeal is good for you, even though brown sugar is not.  And then I was told that I had accrued enough points to get a free drink ... for, now that I think about it, the umpteenth time I've been to Caribou.  So I use the points for my mocha, then use the gift card for oatmeal, then I leave a tip in legal tender: $1.
• I went to Speedway (the new name for SuperAmerica) to get gasoline.  I have a receipt, but I wrote this down because I feel as though I am going to lose that receipt.  I have two notes of this: I thought this Speedway was pre-pay all hours of the day, but the manager on duty said that I can in fact pay inside; and I am not sure that pouring in exactly $19, thereby getting a clean dollar back in change when I went back inside, was coincidental.  If it was planned, well, automation, good call!  Total for gas: $19.
• Went to the University of Minnesota men's hockey game, vs. Wisconsin, because the concessions were rolled back to 1979 prices to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the NCAA title team, considered by many to be the best Gophers squad on ice ever.  Hot dog: $2.  Small Coke: 75 cents.  But the program was two bucks, which is what it usually costs, plus the scalped ticket was $20 when I think I could have gotten it for cheaper.  On the whole, I think the huge price break on food made this a cheaper outing to a Gopher hockey match that it would otherwise.  Add up the prices and you get: $24.75.
• Finished up at Glam Doll, which, thankfully, was open.  I have nothing pressing I need to do the next day, other than have dinner with my aunt and uncle, so I got the Bellybomb.  Probably have the late morning and, if need be, the early afternoon in case it goes through my system violently.  Oh, and if my intestines didn't get a workout from the mac-'n'-cheese donut, I got another (conventional) donut and a pour-over.  And I paid a lot for all that.  With tip: $17.64.
• Back to Thursday the 24th, where I had an HJ session with ****a.  I don't know why -- she was late and I was waiting in my car in the cold -- but she was so nice and warm and flirtatious and sensual that this time was as good as my first time being done by her.  And I came by her fingers and her fingers only.  And it only cost me: $120.
• I had these seven new quarters with new tail sides, which I think commemorate national parks or American events or something, on the kitchen counter for months, but only have I gotten around to scooping them up and putting them in the cup where I put new coins.  Seven times 25 cents equals: $1.75.
• Wednesday, January 23 ... for as long as I still have the house to myself, I am going to try and eat out at a restaurant I have not been to once a week.  This time it was Giuseppi's, an Italian restaurant between home and work.  I have not indulged in Italian in a long time, and even though eating by myself made me a bit queasy, I was glad that I went to this charming place in a standalone in a suburb.  Will I go back?  Well, if I don't, it's not because of them.  With tip it came out to: $18.
• Later that evening I went to the library because I wanted to print out documents related to my parents' companies.  But Nevada is so stupid: It's been so long since I re-registered annually for my folks that the paperwork that resulted from the re-registration is now no longer free.  Why in the hell is there a time limit on friggin' paperwork?  I now have to call these guys and, it looks like, pay a pretty penny in order to print them out, dammit.  I did print out some other stuff, and that set me back: 70 cents.
• And I checked the printer change dispenser and, lo and behold, there was change down there again!  I still am somewhat surprised that people continue to forget their change.  And I take advantage.  Sure, it's just a dime.  But it still is an Infusion of: 10 cents.
• On Tuesday the 22nd I finally saw Ralph Breaks The Internet, a movie that I thought left the theater I went to last week, but apparently it came back.  The sequel was very good.  I love that the main obstacle facing the main protagonist, Ralph, was, literally, himself.  It's a great lesson of how you need to master yourself in order to be a better person.  Ticket, popcorn and pop: $11.81.
• Back to Monday the 21st, when I went to the gym because my yearlong membership is about to run out.  In the locker room I found a penny.  Again, it's free money -- an Infusion of: 1 cent.
• Went to Great Clips to get my hair cut ... actually I went to Fantastic Sam's first, but I decided I didn't want to wait any longer than I was, plus there was something at the bank I wanted to do, and then when I passed it I saw it was closed.  Than I remembered that it was MLK that day.  And then I remembered that I had thought to remember that banks were closed that day because of MLK.  Sometimes I shake my head at myself.  But hey, at least Great Clips was open, and now I feel as if my head isn't that heavy anymore.  With tip the hair cut it cost me: $18.
• That evening I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division).  The place recently put up posters for this new vodka I had never heard of called Tito's.  So, on Belle's suggestion, I got a vodka cranberry.  Yeah, that's a vodka drink!  With tip, stage tips and a dance from Belle, I spent: $36.50.
• Sunday, January 20 -- went to Caffetto to work.  Grabbed a seat, thank goodness.  Carrot cake, small hot chocolate, tip: $7.48 .
• Back to Saturday the 19th, when I could finally go to the gym because I didn't have football to stay home and watch.  Found a dime there, probably in the locker room.  An Infusion of: 10 cents.
• From here I hurtle all the way back to Monday, January 14, when ******e came over to give me a handie.  Her foreplay was so flirtatious that, like I said, she got me off with no trouble at all.  I still like sex!!!  Gave her: $150.
• This was my monthly trip downtown.  This time I parked downtown so I wouldn't have to wait for the light rail.  And since I parked in a lot, I could have stayed there all day and night.  Plus I had a lot of time to look for new porno pants (my old ones are falling apart) before the soccer match.  And I had time to go to Bogart's to grab a vanilla bean buttercream donut at the Bogart's kiosk.  With tip: $4.
• I ate the donut while getting my shoes shined.  Maybe I shouldn't have done that because 1) I was drooling all over the donut and 2) I got donut dust on my shoes.  Eh.  With tip: $15.
• While getting my shoes shined (and eating the donut, and drooling), my shiner said that she prefers another donut shop not too far away from her shop.  After not finding these porno pants I wanted, I went there -- Cardigan Donuts is the name, and the cheap donut I got from them was really good.  The shop, located inside a mall, was big, but I fear the rent they have to pay and whether it will survive.  Donuts aren't an early afternoon lunch, know what I'm saying?  With tip the donut set me back: $2.50.
• Sunday, January 13: Went to Which Wich before the football games.  Had a frequent eaters' card, but was told they don't take those anymore.  Is everyone going onto apps?  Sheesh.  Charged my sandwich and chips, but I paid out a tip in cash Total: $12.52.
• After the games I went to Caffetto.  Chocolate cake, hot chocolate, tip: $7.48.
• I then went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) for the first time since that bartender motherfucker accused me of stealing food.  Actually, I don't quite remember what I did there.  I think I came onto WAF to put a quick draft in about what I spent -- stage tips, of course, and a Coke.  Don't think I got a lapper, so I am just going to say that I spent just: $8.
• Back to Friday, January 11, where I needed to go to a visitation for my friends' mother.  But first I thought I should at least have my face shaved, so I went to Moler.  And somehow I got the guy who cut up my face the first time and, yes, cut me again this time.  Had a huge scar on my chin.  Ah, thanks, dude.  With tip: $10.
• Don't have much to add about the visitation besides that it was tasteful and sad.  She had a full, nice and earned life.  I donated: $20.
• And I feel kind of bad about leaving the visitation after less than an hour because there was that hot party I wanted to go to.  Like I said, the only problem with this party is that I had to jerk myself off.  I won't go into details about who I got dances from, so I'll just give y'all a sum: $220.
• Let's go all the way back to Saturday, January 5, where I wanted fast food to eat before the end of the Colts-Texans Wild Card game.  (Sucks that I work on Saturdays; by the time I would've gone home straight from work, almost half of that game would already be over.)  Did not get a receipt at Burger King, but I remember using a coupon for chicken fries and fries: $3.21.
• On Friday the 4th I went to this party where I was invited by ********a.  Great that I didn't need to pay cover, but by the time I got there, ********a was so wasted I couldn't get a dance from her.  I did get two LDs from ******y, who was living there (but was not hosting the party).  She used to touch my pee-pee, but she didn't this time, and she waited until then that, I guess, she doesn't do that any more.  So why should I ever get a bed dance from you ever again?  However, a girl I had not seen in years, **y, was there.  She used to dance at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition), and I remember her for being cute and for groping me.  Well, she, uh, is a lot fatter than I remember her, which took me aback.  But this time, back in the private room, where it "accidentally" slipped out, she didn't just grope me -- she yanked and pulled and backhanded and mauled me!  And I ... didn't cum.  Maybe I was surprised to see her or was put off by how she looked.  But she did all she could to make me shoot, and I am therefore sad that I could not oblige her, especially since she was OK with just two dances' worth of money.  Total: $80.
• Went to Wesley Andrews for coffee after that party.  With tip for the pourover: $4.89.
• Then went to Glam Doll for a donut and another cup of pourover coffee.  Man, my heart was beating fast that night.  Didn't sleep well.  Plus tip: $9.29.

Good through January 26.

Phone-Wise, I Think I Now Live In This Year, If Not The Next Decade

Well, I finally made the leap.  Five years to the day -- to the day -- I upgraded from my Samsung flip phone to an Apple iPhone 4, I finally activated and switched over to the iPhone XR.  It still doesn't seem to be all there, but I did call T-Mobile to let them know about the upgrade, so I think I've burned the bridge I just crossed over.

The 4 wasn't completely broken down.  It's just that, sadly, technology has rendered it obsolete, and maybe that's by Apple's devious design.  For example, there are many applications I simply cannot use because the iPhone has an operating system that new and better apps wouldn't support.  Plus it did get really slow, especially when loading maps and Twitter.  Finally, when calls started to get really dicey -- even though I don't know whether phone calls are subject to degradation from older cellphones -- the ball was rolling down the hill at a steady pace.

I was going to make the switch some time this weekend.  But I knew, from the first-ever message I sent out (to my parents) that it was around this time I jumped up to the 4.  After realizing that I probably blogged about this, I saw, from my blog post, that the evening of January 25, 2014 was when I made that jump.  (Wailing And Failing is good for some things.)  It seemed only fitting, then, that my 4 would serve five and exactly five years before I retired it.  That meant I spent most of the evening typing up my contacts and making sure everything uploaded and downloaded like it should have.  Again, it's not completely restored; I'm staying up because the iTunes library isn't on my XR, for example.  But I can use it to make calls and stuff, so I'm using this from now on.

(Aside: I bought the XR a few days past the New Year.  Most people would immediately move up to the new phone as soon as they brought it home.  I keep it in my drawer for three weeks before realizing that there is an "anniversary" coming up.)

One thing about this, though, and I'll blog post it hopefully some time in the near future; my recollection of the last upgrade, back in 2014, completely does not square with what I wrote in that blog post five years ago, and it's scaring me.

Well, have 4 1/2 hours of sleep before I have get up.  I'll set the alarm on my computer just in case the Clock setting on the XR does not work.

How Stupid Of Me! Or Pragmatic. One Of The Two.

It dawned on me from a conversation I had at work, when a co-worker complained that she has fallen so behind on balancing her checkbook that she flat-out quit.

I was going to pipe up and say that I have two years' worth of ATM receipts I need to put on my check registers ... and then the machinations of my OCD kicked in, making me remember something I was determined to do when my affliction was most acute.

And then I kicked my own ass.  See (and I am sorry if I have already touched on this on Wailing And Failing), I still keep my ATM receipts because, one of these days, I am going to write those receipts down on my registers.  And then I will go to the Wells Fargo statements I still get through the mail every month in order to check off all the receipts that are listed there.  (That is where I would add other debits [such as automatic payments] and credits [such as automatic deposits] onto the register, and that is how I would catch up.)

But, well, shit, life happens.  I haven't done anything with the registers -- writing down ATM receipts nor anything else that involves my checking account -- since I vacationed in St. Louis two years ago.  In fact, I get so busy, I need to go to St. Louis (specifically the only 24-hour coffeehouse in town) in order to sit myself down and fill out the registers, which I also forget and need to remember to go to a Wells Fargo branch to get.  And so I am miles away from the final step, looking over the WF statements so that, once I check off those ATM receipts, I could put that month's receipts into the envelope and, finally, throw them away.

Well, when I heard my co-worker talk about balancing her checkbook, I realized that I had short-circuited myself with that last step.  See, I had finally started to get around to going through my bags of stuff from storage -- well, actually, I took out one bag from storage from, like, October and I finally got around to going through them last week.  I felt as though I finally made some progress, as in finally deciding to throw envelopes away that I really didn't need to keep around.  And it felt to dump those envelopes and have them picked up for recycling last Thursday.  But at work yesterday I realized that some of those envelopes ... were those monthly statements from Wells Fargo.

Shit.  And then not shit.

I have to be honest: While I am a couple years behind writing down my ATM receipts, I am way further behind when it comes to my final step of checking off those receipts against my statements.  That storage bag seems to have envelopes from 2014 and 2015, and I know I have not checked off ATM receipts against my WF statements from then.  If that bag I went through had statements -- and when I went through a bag I would have dumped into the recycling bin before next Thursday there were -- and if I had gone through statements and decided I could recycle them -- almost a certainty -- my plan on going through and checking off those receipts against those statements is now ruined because those statements are gone.

Yes, statements from four and five years ago.  I really, really want to reconcile those statements from way back when.  Except that the fact that I haven't even done them in four or five years kind of shows how little effort I really put into balancing my checkbook, my sporadic claims that I want to do so notwithstanding.  I think I've said this before: How much do I really care if I have said the same thing for half a decade?

So there's nothing I can do now to save the WF statements I had recycled.  And I have years of statements I need to find in my storage bin and arrange in chronological order.  And then I guess I need to go to St. Louis monthly to be completely caught up with my ATM receipts.  And maybe I can go through my statements online.  So, in other words, maybe I should just get real with myself and admit that I will never get around to executing this plan.  And yet I know that won't stop me from collecting ATM receipts ... or from going through the recycling bin tomorrow, after work and in the cold, for any WF statements I dumped in there from my indoor bag.  In the backyard and away from prying eyes, of course.

Back To The Unemployment Line Already?

OK, so this happened just yesterday afternoon, but I'm already freaked out about it.

Well, the roots of this actually started as soon as I started work there.  I had been assured that, as a full-time job, there will always be work for us.  I didn't realize until I began work there that they sometimes have to bend over backwards in order to ensure that.  Once the forms we get are done for the day, there are other forms for us to enter -- usually.  Sometimes those run out, and so we have to put these glass inserts into these small tubes.  And sometimes we run out of that, so the next thing we do is fold up these Chinese-takeout-style boxes for the lab techs to use.

Well, what happens once there are no more boxes to fold?  That has happened a few times already, most notably in that week between Christmas and New Year's, but I had no idea that it would also happen yesterday.  But after afternoon break, coming back from training, they apparently were out of work -- completely out of work.  In fact, while others were away from their desks -- presumably on break -- some of them stayed around to talk about the extraordinary circumstances the entire department was in.  One of them, who has worked at this company for 15 years, says she has never, and I mean never, seen work peter out so early into a workday as it happened yesterday.

I could be wrong about this, but the other women at the department who I thought was out on break had actually been released for the day.  These are full-time jobs.  I was told these jobs were full-time.  But, at least yesterday, it wasn't full-time for them.

For the others who stayed, there were some other boxes they found, but ultimately they were reduced to, ugh, fucking cleaning.  The company has custodians for that.  "It's been so long since I last interviewed," my co-worker said.

(gulp)

Do I really have to worry about losing this job?  After less than six months on the job?  Again, this might just be free-floating anxiety, but there are some signs out there.  The work has been slow -- at least since the fall, according to my co-worker.  I have heard in the corridors of work that upper management is at least acknowledging this slowdown.  I just read that the company has had layoffs in some of their other locations.  And, most important of all, there are too many economics and people in the know who believe the country and the world will be in a recession by the end of this year.  That means layoffs ... and there is no reason to think this company would be immune to it.

Now, to be fair, I am paranoid as fuck.  For all we know we could be assailed with forms that will keep us an extra 90 minutes after work like that one Saturday.  We do a lot of work with the federal government, and so it stands to reason that this slowdown may be due to lack of money towards hiring people whose information we handle.  Also, I am training in another department right now, and I doubt that they'll just pull the rug out from under me while I'm in the middle of learning something.  Finally, my job requires me to put on different hats, sometimes throughout the course of a day.  That flexibility is key in being a person who stays in the midst of layoffs.  Well, that and my lack of tenure; when people get laid off, they go after the longest-tenured ones because they make the most money.

Still, I cannot guarantee, 100%, that I will have my job, and considering the massive switch in my attitude in order to commit to a full-time job, I am scared as fuck.  Pissed, too -- committing to a job and putting my whole heart (OK, maybe half a heart) into it, only to maybe see it taken away from me, so I am back to being a temp after less than a year??

Oh, well.  If that's the case, at least it's something I'm used to.  And I still have yet to unsubscribe to all those online want ads I signed up for before getting this job.  There is a use for them after all.

The Eggs Are Done!

Forgot to note that on this time last week, Wednesday, January 16, I ate the last of the eggs that were in the fridge.  I had four eggs left, two of which I consumed the night before, the last two last week, both nights as part of an egg, cotto salami and swiss cheese sandwich with white bread.

It was sort of a struggle because there were two full cartons of eggs Father left me when they went away.  He likes them so damn much that he often fries up a couple eggs as a late-night snack.  That prompts him to buy those things in bulk, which is stupid because they have a shelf life, and it's even more stupid that he bought so many just before he left the country for half a year.  I like eggs, but damn, I don't like them that much, and yet I was burdened with consuming two cartons' worth that probably were already past their shelf life when my parents started their vacation.

Neverthless, I didn't throw them away.  Well, I threw away about seven of them because they looked a little funny.  But even though the others had been sitting in the fridge for months and may have had some spots on the shell and were floating in the pan of water I put the pan in the fridge (I filled up a pan with water and put some of the eggs in them to see if they were really bad -- yeah, it sort of makes sense to me, but it sort of doesn't), and even though I did throw one yoke away immediately after cracking it open, I ate all the others because I didn't want to waste them.  Hey, it's still food, and it's a lot of food.  And ... well, I had violent diarrhea twice, probably a sign of food poisoning, but I got through those, and the other times I didn't have diarrhea, so -- I'm good?

I think I'm oversharing.  Let's just say that I'm finally done with the eggs and leave it at that.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -7).  I have this intense need to finish this before the Gopher men's b-ball team faces off against Michigan tonight, and that game starts at 6, and I will probably be watching Ralph Breaks The Internet by the time that game tips off, so I am going to make this as short, I'm afraid.

And that means I am going to give short shrift to the Gopher grapplers.  I don't think they're winning an NCAA team title this year (or any year, come to think of it).  Yet I don't remember any time in the post-J Robinson Era where this program has gone on the road and beat a pair of ranked teams.  But these guys did do that, and without much angst, beating Illinois 26-15 Friday and Northwestern 29-12 Sunday.  (In the victory over the Wildcats, the Dual started with Minnesota forfeiting the 125 match ... and they still beat them by 17.)  And while they did get blitzed by both Oklahoma St. and Iowa this year, those remain the only two losses so far in Brandon Eggum's year.  Oh yeah, and Gable Steveson continues to beat the #1 Heavyweight in top-flight wrestling.

One Dual this week -- Wisconsin, the last of three roadies, Friday.

#-1: Whitecaps (Last Week: -4).  In a screening week where most of the local teams suffered at least one setback, it was difficult to find pristine performances.  But here come the Whitecaps, going back atop the NWHL standings after sweeping the Connecticut Whale at TRIA and how: 2-0 Saturday, 9-0 Sunday.

And they might be on top of the standings for a long time.  The 'Caps currently hold a four-Point lead.  Moreover, they don't resume play until -- and this is fucking weird, man -- March 2 & 3.  Yeah, the NWHL season is such that they are taking the next six weeks or so, including the entire month of February, off.  Let's hope the season of sellouts at home prompts the league to either schedule more games or demand from the facilities more preferential dates so they can tighten it up.  Geez.

#-2: Wild (Last Week: -6).  No team locally has had as up-and-down a season as the Wild.  Just as I was about to write them off, indicated by the trade of Nino Niederreiter to The Bastard Hartford Whalers (and I shouldn't forget that Gopher Justin Kloos was also traded to Anaheim), these guys win three-of-four this screening week to, miraculously, go from out of the playoff picture, over Wild Card Limbo, and into third place in the Central Division.  Thursday's strange 3-0 ass-kicking by the faltering Ducks at the X (which happened just after the Kloos trade) is strange as fuck and another reason why so many fans don't believe in this team.  And yet they outlast L.A. in a Shootout, outlast Columbus in regulation, and eke out a tight 4-2 victory in Vegas on MLK (game-winning Goal provided by Charlie Coyle, whom many writers believe will be the next player traded).  Weeks like this give me hope, but how long will it last?

Tomorrow/Wednesday they travel to Colorado for the final game before the All-Star Break, where Goaltender Devan Dubnyk will, again, be the sole representative for the Mild.

#-3: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -2).  As titanic a match-up in top-flight women's college hockey happened at Ridder over the weekend.  Minnesota, ranked second in the polls, hosted Wisconsin, ranked first in the polls, for a two-game series.  And ... they split, with the Badgers winning 2-1 Friday and the U. winning 3-1 Saturday.  So nothing changes up top, but girl, it would have been sweet with the squad were able to take both games.  (For the record, they split their two-game series in Madison just before Halloween.)  Congrats go to Junior Patti Marshall for being named WCHA Defenseman Of The Week.

The Gophers' final test of the year comes this weekend, when they travel to a resurgent Ohio St. program, ranked seventh in the polls, for a pair of matches.

#-4: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -5).  Unfortunately, this team isn't particularly putting it together right now.  In fact, it seems as though it'll be a struggle all season.  Current projections that they'll somehow avoid the play-in games appear to be tenuous, if this week is an indication of how this team will live or die.  They get castrated Wednesday in Illinois, 95-68, in what may be the worst game this team has played this millennium.  They struggled Saturday at home against Penn St., a team that was winless in Big Ten play, needing a Free Throw from Dupree McBrayer (after he missed his first FT) and a near-buzzer-beating miss by the Nittany Lions' Lamar Stevens, to win, 65-64.  Jordan Murphy scored 19 and pulled down 21 Rebounds, becoming the leader in boards in men's top-flight college basketball, and they still almost lost to Penn St. at home.  Not a good sign.

If they win at Michigan (who are coming off their first loss of the season, to Wisconsin) tonight it'll be a damn miracle.  They then host Iowa Sunday afternoon.

#-5: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -8).  OK, it's clear now that we were totally spoiled by this club's 12-0 record to start the season, because Lindsay Whalen's coaching naievete is now showing through.  Leading by eight Sunday evening at Nebraska, the Golden Goofers were outscored in the Fourth Quarter 25-11 to choke away a 63-57 decision.  This stands alongside the Illinois collapse as a stark reminder that the non-conference season is a very different beast from the conference season, and that Whalen has to learn how to adjust in-game.

The other lesson gleaned this screening week about this squad is that they can beat Wisconsin.  They crushed the Badgers, in fact, 78-50 on Thursday, and on the road, too!  Looks as though they are world-beaters against Wisky but chumps to everyone else in the B1G.  Will that adage hold up in home contests vs. Purdue Thursday and Ohio St. Monday?

#-6: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3).  Went to the game versus San Antonio Friday night.  It was a back-and-forth affair, but LaMarcus Aldridge came alive in the Fourth to help the Spurs to a three-Point lead with one final possession for the Woofs.  The half-court inbounds pass came to, of all people, Derrick Rose, but he doesn't have a three-point shot, at least not anymore.  That sentiment was in the back of my mind when he took the inbounds -- "Oh, the Wolves are gonna lose."  And he jacked up a midrange two-pointer anyway, plus it didn't go in, and my alumni event, already a turd when it came to attendance, became just about a complete disaster.

Add to this embarrassing week, in my opinion, their only win this week, over a Phoenix Suns squad that was in the second of a back-to-back, was completing the last of a four-game road trip, and is the worst team in the Western Conference.  And for much of the game Sunday, the Suns were in control.  It took a last-second shot to pull out the win, and for that, you go to ... Derrick Rose:



Virtually the exact same situation, and virtually the same distance to the basket to his no-hope shot against San Antone, but this time he hits, and this time the score was tied, and so the Wolves win.  Except that no self-respecting club that has enough talent to make it to the postseason should have to grind so hard against a club as sorry as Phoenix, so this should be treated as a loss.  So if you add to these two games the 42-Point beatdown this team suffered at the hands of Jimmy Butler and the Philadelphia 76ers, and it's as if the Wolves had an 0-3 screening week.

(By the way, All-Star Game voting ended at midnight, and Rose was on track to start for the Western Conference.  What an out-of-nowhere 50-Point game can do for your redemption narrative.)

They are busy this week.  The club has four games, the first three of which are on the road.  Tonight/Tuesday night they complete the home-and-home against the Suns (Phoenix is going to kill 'em by 20), followed by a Lakers-Jazz back-to-back.  They then complete a home-and-home with Utah by hosting the Jazz Sunday.

#-7: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1).  A massive sweep at Notre Dame is just about undone by getting swept at Michigan St. this past weekend.  Like the Gophers, the Spartans are under .500 overall, so getting at least a split wasn't too much to ask (although a sweep would be ideal).  Instead, a pair of 5-3 defeats drops these Goofers back down to 24th in the PairWise.

This week they host Wisconsin for a two-game series.  On Saturday they will honor the 1979 championship squad, considered by some to be the best Minnesota men's hockey team ever.  To celebrate, they are rolling back prices on concession items -- think two dollars for hot dogs.  Scalpers might take advantage of those rollbacks by asking for more money for tickets, of which this game has hot ones.  Still, I might try to go.

One thing I continue to regret not doing: The papers.  I had six months to go through my bags of stuff in storage, and I haven't even gotten through my first one.  Should change that.

Hearing The Siren Song A Second Time

So, back to this party I went to about, oh, ten days ago.  Bangin' party.  The best part was the roster: Five girls, just the right amount, and all of them smoking hot.  It wasn't too much of a sausage fest, either; of course there were guys there -- otherwise the girls would not be able to make money out of this "party" -- but it wasn't overflowing with them.

Best part, of course, was the action.  All the girls knew the rules of a stripper party like this, so I was able to touch ten titties.  Didn't get to fuck *****a (who just dumped me right then and there in that room without so much as a cuddle, sniff) but she kissed and licked me tip, at least.  Moreover, I got double-teamed -- sort of.  *****y, who had always been a good girl, was uncharacteristically extroverted and even a bit frisky this evening.  She convinced her friend, ***e**, to join her as they did me.  And did they ever do me: *****y unzipped my shirt so both of them could twist my nipples.  And both of them groped me, although *****y did so more than ***e**, and it's not like they pulled my cock out, even though *****y said she would have if there were fewer men there and if the lights were darker.

I recount those encounters because all of three of them are having another party this afternoon.  And I am torn as to whether or not I should go.  One the one hand, I frolicked with these babes just two weeks ago.  For another, this will be at *****a's apartment, and that's hella far away, and I don't know if I want to drive that far.  This will be another occasion in which I will have to shell out a lot of money.  Finally, I don't know if I'm going to get what I got ten days ago.

On the other hand, the timing of this party is perfect.  Ever since I got my job, the chance of me going to a party being held in the early afternoon, rare ever before I got my job, vanished.  I mean, I can't see myself ever taking work off so I could get some early afternoon ass.  But this falls on a Monday, one of my two days off.  It's a sign from the heavens that I should go.  And there's another reason: Maybe, instead of not getting what I got ten days ago, I in fact get more than I got ten days ago.  I mean, all three girls will be acquainted or reacquainted with what I like, and maybe they'll feel more comfortable with me, like I will be with them.  And if that's the case, well, a darkened room with no guys around might give me the chance to free willy, if you know what I mean.

And complicating all this is the random text, out of the blue, I received from *******e, who needed to make some money and believed that me fucking around could provide her with that money.  I think she puts out way less than the other three hotties that will be at this party.  But I feel as though I have to see her because it's been ages since I last screwed around with her.  However, she's been hella flighty; she texted me out of the blue, I text her back, and it's taking her hours to get back to me.

So I am in a double bind, so to speak.  I am still considering going all the way to (well, I might as well tell y'all) St. Paul, and I am still waiting to hear back from this stripper.  So I could go to this stripper, I could go to this party with three strippers, or I could not go anywhere.  Well, damn -- I don't know what the hell to do.

I ate a whole medium pizza from Pizza Hut this afternoon, about most of the way through the first half of the NFC Championship Game.

Why?  Eh, I always envisioned myself getting and eating one on NFL Championship Sunday.  But the entire thing?  Guess I saw it as a challenge.  I have never eaten a whole medium pizza.  I have eaten six slices of a medium pizza once, but that was in high school, when I had metabolism, and I thought I was going to explode.

I feel fat, but oddly enough I felt OK after polishing off the slices (and dipping the crusts in ranch I got from Burger King).  In fact, I feel fine enough now to enjoy the Super Blood Wolf Moon while going to Caffetto tonight for food and drink.  And maybe I'll come back home for more food and drink.

Woke up just now, a bit before 12:45.  Went to sleep around ... 4?

A full night's rest is rare, but I had one last week.  Maybe it was last Sunday?  Moreover, the fact that I woke up in the afternoon, before 1 p.m. -- well, that takes me back to my college/post-college/twenties.  And man, I miss those days!

And hey, this ruins my plans to exercise before Championship Sunday, but who cares?  I feel good!!!

Why Won't People Take Me Seriously?!?!?!

Afater the time where I got bullied by my co-worker and got accused of something I didn't by that prick bartender at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division), I went in to see my shrink because I needed to tell him about those incidents.  He summed it up nicely: I don't think I'm being taken seriously.

The more I think about it, the more I think he's right, and the closer I feel at getting to the heart of the question of my existence, or The Grand Unified Theory Of Me.  I think, when it comes right down to it, I don't think I'm being taken seriously by people.  Now, that can manifest itself in many different ways.  People don't take my feelings seriously.  People think my ideas are dumb.  People think I'm weird.  People can't see what I'm trying to do.  People don't understand me.  People don't think I can do it.  Things like that.  But that's what it basically means, at least to me.

I need time -- probably a lot of time -- to see if all my problems can be boiled down to that.  But it seems like a very good place to start, and a very good frame of mind in which to view problems that will happen to me from now on.

This feels like a blog post that should go more in-depth by what I mean by not being taken seriously.  But this is all I got.  I'm serious.  Really.

Closed Early Again???

Went to the Timberwolves game last night, and after their loss, I wanted to go down to Glam Doll to work and eat donuts.  I did go down there ... only to see its doors closed.  It was just before 11.

And it was the third time I've gone down there to see it closed before its usual 1 a.m. weekend closing time.  And last week, when I went down there, it was open but had, at most, two dozen donuts to sell.  Once they sell out of donuts, they start ushering out customers to close early.

What's going on here?  Glam Doll has closed early before, just not this frequently.  Thus, I assumed that it's because business is good.  But is it, really?  I wonder if it's not because of demand but lack of it -- as in, they were making too many donuts that they have gone unsold, and so they have cut back on the production of donuts so that they can ensure they sell out, and if they sacrifice operating hours, so be it.

That theory could lead to a bad place -- as in, they are cutting supply because demand is low, but demand has become so low that it simply doesn't make sense to be open that long at all.  In other words, business isn't going so well.  They opened up another shop, closer to my home, but now on weekends that place closes at 10 instead of 1.  Saves three hours of operating costs and labor.  But is that even enough to keep them in business?

Glam Doll has become my go-to late-night place to enjoy myself.  I fear it will be gone soon.  Then again, it's not as if I have been able to go there recently, anyway.

Apparently They Stopped Caring

I set up a night for my alumni club to go to a Timberwolves game.  The idea was conceived by a T-Wolves sales representative, who contacted the alumni association of my alma mater, who contacted me and put us in touch with each other.  As someone who has, from time to time, begged people from the club to help organize events, this was a gift from heaven.

Got some tickets sold -- a dozen, I think.  And when I get there, only five people show up.  A lot of no-shows, but hey, the team got some money, so they were happy, and for an event that I didn't plan, getting four other people to show up made me happy.  I thought it was a success, so I immediately told the sales rep we're doing it again next year.

Almost a year to the day, I am going to go to our chapter's Wolves game tonight.  And there is only one other person who has bought a ticket.  Despite all my promotion, there's only one dude.  God bless him, for he goes to just about everything we hold.  But none of the other people who came last year bought, and none of the people who no-showed last year bought, and none of the others in the club bought.  Two dudes, and that's it.

Fuck me.  I have no idea what I did wrong.  Did I not promote enough?  Were the tickets, which are worse than the ones we had last year, a turn-off?  Do people now know who I really am and vowed to never be around me?  Yeah, maybe it's not my fault and people have their own reasons for not coming.  Regardless, this is an event that no one gives a damn about, and considering that we had a bunch of interest last year, I feel humiliated, frankly.

And I don't know what to do.  Actually, I think I know what to do: Try again next year.  I remember my predecessor as president say this: Regardless of turnout, keep posting events because it's important to let people know the club is active.  So, with that, I will swallow my pride, go to tonight's game, hope for a win (I say it's 50-50), and tell that rep afterward via e-mail (or before the game if he's at Target Center) that I want to do this again -- to make this right -- next season.

And hopefully he won't shoot me down because we didn't sell tickets for him.

Addendum To: Goddammit, I Don't Know Where My Fucking Watch Is

Found it!  Turns out I did leave it at work!!  Ha-ha!!!

I'm just glad it didn't really go missing.  Phew!!!

Goddammit, I Don't Know Where My Fucking Watch Is

I swear I put it on before I left work yesterday.  I swear I took it off once I got home.  And I swear, I swear, I thought to not put it on before I went out to see If Beale Street Could Talk.  I did rummage through things in the house last night, so I assume I misplaced it.

I think it'll turn up.  I have to believe it'll turn up.  Because if I left it at work or, God forbid, I did wear it when I went to the movies. ...

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -4).  I have no idea if these guys have any chance of reaching the NCAA Tournament based on where they were last week.  Regardless, they took a big, clutch step last weekend by going to South Bend, Ind., and sweeping two Games from then-#9 Notre Dame, giving Bob Motzko his first series sweep as a head coach at the U.

They swept in both extremes.  On Friday, the club crushed the Fighting Irish, 5-1.  And on Saturday, Blake McLaughlin scored with 7.8 Seconds left in regulation to eke out a 2-1 win.  With those victories, the U. rises up to 21st in the PairWise -- still a far cry from where they need to be, but a lot better than where they were.  The icers can keep the momentum going in a two-game series versus Michigan St. in East Lansing, Mich.

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: 0).  Women's College Hockey Nation remains concentrated.  The club traveled to Minnesota State-Mankato and swept the Mavericks by a combined score of 11-4.  Now comes the heavyweight matchup: The Golden Gophers host Wisconsin in a matchup of #1 at #2 in a two-game series this weekend.

#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: -5).  A 2-1 screening week, nipping The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics in OKC Tuesday, 119-117, in Ryan Saunders's first game as Interim Head Coach.  They also outlasted The Bastard Charlotte Hornets Saturday, 110-106 at home.  They could have beaten Dallas Friday night at Target Center, but rookie Luka Doncic basically went nuts and took the mantle of leader away from Dirk Nowitzki on the way to the Mavericks' 119-115 win.

Do the relative good fortunes translate to a upward trend in the team's play?  Well, right now they're at Philadelphia and they're getting killed, so, probably not.  They come back home to play San Antonio Friday (a game I'll be attending) and Phoenix Sunday.

#-4: Whitecaps (Re-Entry!).  The NWHL season is so long, yet there are so many breaks inbetween games that I don't know precisely when the 'Caps play.  They played this past weekend, where they were buried early against the Boston Pride and rallied before falling, 5-4 on Saturday.  The squad responded the next day by destroying the Connecticut Whale, 4-1.  With the split, the Whitecaps remain tied with the Pride atop the league.

Next weekend the club hosts the Whale for two Games.  They also happen to be the final home games of the season -- and, BTW, they've sold out both Games, dammit.  And the weirdest thing?  The season ends early March.  Huh. ...

#-5: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -1).  The squad raced out to leads during the screening week, at home, to both Maryland and Rutgers.  The Gophs were able to maintain that big lead against the Scarlet Knights, however they choked that up against the Terrapins due to shitty free-throw shooting.  They're maintaining their hypothetical place in the NCAA Tournament.

This week: At Illinois Wednesday, home to Penn St. Saturday night.

#-6: Wild (Last Week: -3).  Any momentum the Mild garnered from last screening week's hot streak is all gone after going 1-3 this week.  It gets even worse because their last two losses were to Detroit and Philadelphia, two of the worst teams in the NHL.  This was a prime time to rack up Wins and Points and keep rocketing up the Western Conference standings, but that's all gone now.

For the second screening week in a row they have a Tuesday/Thursday/Saturday/Monday schedule.  They began a three-Game homestand tonight/right now against another shit team, Los Angeles.  They then host Anaheim and Columbus before going to Las Vegas.

#-7: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -2).  See, it's duals like Sunday's vs. Iowa at Maturi where, in days gone by, Gopher fans would actually be up for it because there was a chance that they could win.  But those days are long gone, as evidenced by the Hawkeyes' thorough 24-10 frog-stomping of the Goofer grapplers.  The U. won only three of the ten, led by talisman Heavyweight Gable Steveson's Major Decision.  Steveson was ranked #2, but congratulations to him for rising to #1 today/Monday, the first Golden Gopher to get to tops in his weight class since Chris Dardanes at 133 four years ago.

It says a lot about the state of the program that road trips to Illinois and Northwestern this weekend aren't exactly gimmes.  Man, if I were a kid these days, I would not have the handicap of remembering when Minnesota was a wrestling power.  Ignorance is bliss.

#-8: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -6).  Holy oy to the fucking vey.  The losing streak is now at four after getting beat at Michigan St. and at home to Iowa by matching 18-point ass-kickings.  The Gophers' defeat to the Hawkeyes is particularly alarming; the U. had an eight-Point lead at Halftime but were outscored 49-23 in the Second Half -- an alarming inability to adjust at he half.  It's just as alarming to see a team that began so hot at the beginning of the season seemingly lose everything over the course of a couple weeks, but the team is sinking like a stone in the rankings as a result.

Just for shiggles I checked the record for the opponent against whom the Gophers notched their signature win this season, Syracuse.  Believe it or not, the Orange have not lost since losing to Minnesota.  That victory isn't cheapened because it turns out Syracuse isn't as good as their record suggested.  No, that is happening to these Golden Goofers instead.

This squad's only conference win so far is against Wisconsin.  The return date is Thursday at Madison.  They also visit Nebraska Sunday.  In other words, this probably will get a lot, lot worse.

I Think I Make A Good DJ ... And I'd Make A Damn Good Stripclub DJ

So, what do you think of this four-song run?  Would you mind listening to it?  If you were a stripper, would you like to strip to it?

• Queens Of The Stone Age, "The Lost Art Of Keeping A Secret"
• T-Rex, "Jeepster"
• A Tribe Called Quest, "Bonita Applebaum"
• PJ Harvey, "This Is Love"

This is the playlist I entered into the jukebox when a stripper last (Sunday) night at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition) asked me to put some music when because she was in a rush to get ready in the back before her stage set.  Normally only strippers put in music in the jukebox; in fact, customers are not supposed to touch it.  But a dancer can ask a customer to do that, and the bouncer gave the OK.

Great!  Because that meant that I could finally put in music that I would like to hear -- and music that is much different from the songs I usually hear at that bar, which is both repetitive and bad.  I mean, I usually hear either Seether or Five Finger Death Punch, and I don't need to hear that warmed-over "nu" rock every single time I go in there.  So when I get the extremely rare chance to give a stripper her music (this is, like, the third or fourth time I've ever been asked), I'll take that chance and run with it.

The weirdest thing, by the way?  I think she barely knows me.  I have never gotten a dance from her.  I was going to get one from her Sunday, but she was busy with a regular, so on my way out, I smiled and waved goodbye.  I hope she liked my playlist.  Because I sure did!

No brokedick!

Just got off with the help of ******e!  And I didn't have to touch myself in order to do it!

How did it work this time?  Well, I was eating her out while she was jerking me off, so maybe pleasuring her helps give me pleasure.  Also, this was in the house, so there was no pressure over time or strangers waiting for the room or anything like that.  Or, ******e is just that good.  Maybe it's a combination.

But I feel good!  But a little sleepy.  Oh well, have things to do.  See ya!

At Caffetto right now.  Have a table, but I don't have a table with an outlet, so I'm using my computer while draining the battery.  You know, I got here a bit before 10 and I thought that there'd be fewer people here, but that's not the case.  So, because I feel as though I'm not "tied down," I think I am going to march into My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition) and have some fun ... if that prick who accused me of taking food isn't there.  Then, I'll get myself ready for a fight.

Addendum To: brokedick

Well, everything went as well as it possibly could at that party.  Five girls, all hot.  Gave money to all of them -- except one, *****a, to whom I gave nearly all of my money.  Try as she might, I didn't erupt, so I had to do it for her, and then she just left me without even cuddling.  All the honeyed words she said to me before and during our session, and she just walked away!  (sob)

So is she serious about fucking in private the next couple weeks?  I told her thank you the next day, but she hasn't replied back.  And she keeps complaining to me that I don't talk to her!  Man, I'm not saying she's a bitch, but she is doing what she claims I do.  She's like a Republican that way.

As for me, I'll try again with *a***** tomorrow.

He's Coming After Me

So I woke up to a message from a guy threatening me because her woman sucked my dick.  And stupid me, I got so scared/nonplussed that, after I blocked him, I deleted the message.  Why in the hell did I delete the message?  I should have kept it, and/or took a photo in case, you know, he kills me.

Have no idea why he's be so mad.  Haven't seen her in six weeks.  I think she's gone, out of my life, and maybe that's best for her.  I think they also broke up.  Oh, and finally, this message is from three months ago.  Yeah, I got it just now.  So again, I have no idea why I would be so scared as to delete the message.

brokedick

There is a party tonight I am going to.  I am looking forward to it because there are a lot of hot girls there, one of which, *****a, allows me to fuck her.  Of the six girls mentioned in the invite, I have been naked with a second one, I have heard of a third one I wouldn't mind whipping it out on, and the other three I haven't heard, but since the other three are hot, I think those three are hot, as well.

And I hope that when I do go balls deep into *****a, I'll be able to cum.  Because in my last several tryst with other strippers, they have not done the job -- hand, blow or rim.  It is not them -- don't blame them.  But I have lost the feeling in my down-there place.  It's not like it's numb or anything.  But when a girl has started touching my pee-pee, it's as if the nerves on my cock, which were plentiful and highly responsive in years past, and maybe even over the summer, are either dead or gone, or both.  I literally feel no pleasure.  I know that there is a sensation, but it doesn't feel sensational.  And as I have gotten more and more desperate trying to snap myself out of this anhedonia by throwing money at girl after girl, it feels as though my penis has gotten deader and deader.

I don't know what it is.  Am I fucking around with girls too much?  Am I rubbing it out too much?  Am I getting old?  Is there something wrong with me?

I will say this: My leading theory is that I am building tolerance.  Yes, I think I may be going to stripper parties too much.  As much as I say I love seeing women naked, my body is saying it's a case of been there, done that.  In fact, as much as you can build tolerance to alcohol, you might be able to build tolerance to sexual pleasure.  Really, the only way I can get off without my own hand is if I am, literally, balls deep in a girl.  That is when I feel anything close to the ecstasy I felt when doing this subversive stuff when I was younger, and even then it doesn't feel totally pleasurable.  I just cum, and right now, that's enough for me.

But I have to get to the fucking in the first place.  And then, well, I have to see if I get to rawdog *****a or not.  I would love to have sex the way God intended, but if I do get off like I want to ... well, you know the risks.  Actually, I think I would get off with or without a condom.  But -- well, what if I don't?  What if, despite being surrounded by beautiful women, and getting allowed to touch and be intimate with them -- I still don't feel anything?

The Downspout Extension Continues To Run Away

So our gutter in the front yard has this downspout extension that is brown, plastic, and wider than the end of the downspout that's connected to the house, but it is long enough (or it would be if we pulled out the bellows section all the way) to carry the water to our front lawn.

I don't remember it being bought.  Father probably bought it without sizing it up first, and he has not elongated it so that the water would carry all the way to the grass.

Then again, I have not elongated it, either, even though I have had plenty of chances to do so.  That's because I have, from time to time, needed to wrangle it.  You see, that extension fits in over the end of the downspout, but not snugly.  In fact, it's quite loose.  So loose, in fact, that I often come back home to see the extension not attached.  It is sometimes just a couple inches away from the opening.  Sometimes it rolls off to the side.  Sometimes it's on the grass.  But only once, just now, did I see it vertically, leaning against the rest of my neighbor's trash right next to his garage door.  Because, apparently, the downspout extension somehow wound up on my neighbor's property, and he believed that it was his trash to haul away.

I don't know why My Father couldn't find an extension that would be a better fit.  But I don't really know why and how this extension can just get up and walk away from it needs to be.  Is it the wind?  I can't think it's that strong to pull it off the downspout, let alone blow it across the property line.  Could a squirrel be messing with it?  Is it vandalism?

I don't know what it is, but I sure am glad I got it back from my neighbor's.  Unfortunately I had to walk onto their property (well, walk across their driveway) in order to retrieve it.  In the back of my mind I think there's a chance, albeit a small one, that the owner(s) will get mad at me for getting my downspout extension back.  We have not talked much, but I have had nothing except clashes between them and I the scant times we talked about something.  That this retrieval, which could mean stealing and/or trespassing to him, makes me think he could just come over and shoot and kill me.

I would not completely rule that out, for this issue or any other issue that might arise between us in the future.

Q: What's One Overlooked Thing That You Do When Drunk?

A: You ruin your plan of just using your credit card for purchases on a certain day.

See, I went to this high-end restaurant right after work today because I want to eat at some high-end restaurants before my parents come home and cook for me.  Delicious Vietnamese fusion food, believe me.  But I ate that food with a cocktail -- a good one, certainly good enough to knock me off my senses.

So I went to Target because I needed salami and a bed sheet (I don't know if those two items have ever been uttered in the same sentence like that.  Thank God for Target.)  And I was at the self-service payout scanning them in.  I see the total and I'm all, "Yep, I have exact change for that!" and I put in my coins and bills, not realizing until after I put the last bill in that I intended to use my credit card.  Shit!

Ah, well, no big deal.  But I'm sure that if I were more level-headed -- if I had not drank alcohol before getting to Target -- I would have made sure I pulled out my credit card instead of cash.  (sigh)

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

(This is a note that with the beginning of the New Year, the WMNSS will (or should) be published on Tuesdays, since I need to encompass the results of the first actual week of 2019, and January 8, 2019 falls on a Tuesday.  Since I did not cover the results of December 31, 2018, this first Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey will catch up by taking in the results from New Year's Eve to yesterday.)

#0: Gopher women's hockey (Re-Entry!).  They won what is called the Minnesota Cup, a first-time all-Minnesota tournament.  Think of it is as the women's version of the now-dead and lamented (at least by me) North Star College Cup, even though the men's teams appear to be trying to revive a version of that for next year.  Anyway, they beat Minnesota-Duluth (and gold medal-winning Team USA Goalie Maddie Rooney Saturday, 4-3 in Overtime, and then zoomed past St. Cloud St. (which beat MSU-Mankato in the other Semifinal) Sunday, 5-1.

The second-ranked (at least according to PairWise) Gophers visit the Mavericks down in Mankato for a two-game series this weekend.

#-1: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -2).  We are looking for something, anything, that will show that this program is finally turning things around.  And it is but a win, however things suddenly are looking bright for this squad after opening up Big Ten play with a 59-52 upset of ranked Wisconsin in Madison.  It is the first time they have beaten the Badgers since 2014, and it's the first time they've done so at the Kohl Center since 2009.   This is a sign that all the talent Richard Pitino is accruing is finally gelling and paying off.

They will try and consolidate that season-defining win by beating Maryland at Williams Arena, a game that is going on right now (so I need to finish this up before I have to count this game for this screening week's survey).  Saturday afternoon they host Rutgers.

#-2: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: 0).  The U. was ranked ninth.  Rutgers, the club's opponent Sunday, was ranked 20th.  It was a close match on paper ... and it was a close match on the mat, even though six of the ten matches were routs (as in results besides Decisions).  But six of the matches went the Gophers' way, so they beat the Scarlet Knights at Maturi, 22-15.  A team below them, even if that team was ranked, used to not be such a problem for Minnesota, but such is the life these days of a program that is clearly a cut below the power schools like Penn St. and Oklahoma St.

Maybe Iowa too.  The U. hosts the Hawkeyes Sunday at noon.

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -6).  An inverse screening week -- as in, they lost at home to Pittsburgh New Year's Eve afternoon, but so far are perfect on a four-game roadtrip, winning at Toronto, at Ottawa and at Montreal.  Caught the only Goal in the Wild's 1-0 victory over the Canadiens last/Monday night; a horrible pass in the defensive zone was picked up by Mikael Granlund, who deked the puck past Carey Price for the lone tally with seven minutes left in the game.

Incredibly, with that win, the Wild have (sort of) gotten themselves off the mat, rising to the second Western Conference Wild Card and the final spot in the Western Conference playoffs.  (They have the same number of points as Anaheim but win the tiebreaker, which is Wins.)  They will try to keep their winning streak going tonight (Tuesday night) in Boston.  They then come home to face Winnipeg and Detroit before visiting Philadelphia (and former General Manager Chuck Fletcher) on Monday.

#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -5).  Another two-game series, another split.  This time, they couldn't crack visiting Penn St. Friday, losing 4-2, but got the better of the Nittany Lions in the Saturday night game, 4-1.  Still, these guys are going nowhere.  Checked the PairWise for the first time this season, and the Golden Goofers are down in the twenties.  This weekend they are at Notre Dame for a pair.

#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  This may be the most Timberwolvesian week in their damned history.  Sure, shitcan a guy 60 minutes after crushing a Lakers team at home by 22.  But that is what General Manager Scott Layden and CEO Ethan Casson did when they marched into Tom Thibodeau's office.  Not even three years into his time as Head Coach and Team President, he was asked to leave. 

And leave it to the Woofie Dogs to make what many people believe is the right move in such a wrong way.  Yet, as a couple of beat writers have pointed out, the organization may have had its hand forced.  They really, really, really have a hard-on to bring Fred Hoiberg back into the fold.  He was with the T-Wolves before taking the Head Coaching job at his alma mater, Iowa St., and then moving to become HC of the Chicago Bulls.  He was fired from that job earlier this year, and so he's free to come back to the Wolves -- although, if reports are correct, they are breaking up the twin jobs of coaching and personnel that Thibodeau enjoyed, so Hoiberg would come back only to be either Head Coach or General Manager (the position Scott Layden currently enjoys), not both.  Meanwhile, there is talk that UCLA would hire Hoiberg as their coach.  If that is true, the organization probably is trying to get to Hoiberg before the Bruins do, and they can't even make a play for him unless they fire Thibs first.

Also a factor: This is the time of year franchise salespeople get season-ticket and sponsorship renewals, and those beat writers are hearing that retention rates are sluggish.  There just isn't any buzz surrounding a team with two players drafted first overall.  This midseason firing is a way to reinject interest in the team, and to give the message that they are going to try to get better by hiring a different Head Coach.  To which I say, great, but there are at least a couple of other times where it was better to fire Tom Thibodeau.  He was a dead man walking, sure, but even I thought Thibodeau got kind of a raw deal in being fired under these circumstances.  Now granted, the Wolves are still out of the playoff picture, but damn, the guy just won a game!  Let him bask in a little bit of glory, would ya?  You can fire him on the next losing slump.

So for now, the reins of the team go to Interim Head Coach Ryan Saunders.  Yep, the son of the late Timberwolves talisman Flip Saunders.  We'll see what the youngest coach in the NBA (all of 32 years old!!!) can do with a professional b-ball squad under his charge in games this week at Oklahoma City and home vs. Dallas and New Orleans.

#-6: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -1).  Uh-oh.  Turns out these young women may have been exposed as pretenders a lot earlier than even I thought.  It started with a New Year's Eve beatdown in Ann Arbor by Michigan, 76-60.

Head Coach Lindsay Whalen was quoted as saying she wanted to see how her team responded to its first loss of the season.  Not well, apparently.  On Sunday at home, these Goofers jumped out to a 35-21 Halftime lead over Illinois on the strength of a 23-8 Second Quarter.  But the players went to shit in the Fourth, as the Illini outscored them 23-9 and eked out a 66-62 victory.

Once again, like with Bob Motzko and the U. men's hockey team, I am going to give Whalen a mulligan because this is her first year coaching period at the U.  But I have to admit that that 12-0 start tricked me into thinking that the halcyon days of this program is back.  In fact, it might be a lot more complicated than that.

This week for the now 18th-ranked Gophs: At Michigan St. Wednesday, at home to Iowa Monday.  I am still angling to work for that game against the Hawkeyes, but I have no idea whether I'll be hired.

Addendum To: Poor Bastard Of The Moment: Cody Parkey

Well, people went over the replay of Parkey's Field Goal miss in yesterday's/Sunday's loss to the Philadelphia Eagles, and through a fine-tooth comb it has been determined that an Eagles player, Defensive Tackle Treyvon Hester, got a finger on the ball before it hit off the left upright and crossbar and not through the goalposts.  Furthermore, even though I don't think it's conclusive, the National Football League determined that Hester's touch was enough to alter the trajectory of Parkey's kick, and therefore it officially will go down in the record books as a blocked kick, not a miss.

So, double good news for the Chicago Bears Kicker, even though they are still eliminated from the playoffs: He should stop getting crap from Bears fans, and I now retract his Poor Bastard Of The Moment.

Girl, The Only One Who Can Be Thirsty Is Me

OK, so I had talked about this "chocolate party" I went to all the way on the other side of the Mississippi.  I got invited it to it through Messenger, on Facebook, by this woman I did not recognize.  But she sure as hell recognized me; her giving me details about the party she was hosting convinced me she wasn't trolling me, or that this was some catfishing incident.

The party, and our tryst, was alright.  I couldn't get off, but she started tittyfucking me, and that finally set me off.  I wouldn't mind having her again, mostly because I found her to be very friendly and accommodating.  Everything else was meh -- our intimacy, the other strippers she got to work the party, the party itself, and not least of which, the location.

I swore, to her and to myself, that if she had another party before my parents came back home, I would go.  But while I loved making her acquaintance and getting jizz all over her, I would file this in the rotation, along with all the other parties I would be invited to but not go every single time.  She nor her party didn't really stand out.  Her apartment is hella far.  And, to be honest, she isn't all that good-looking.  Big black tits, sure, but not someone who gets me hard when she's grinding on me.

That has not stopped her from talking to me through Messenger.  She has been a hound, to tell the truth.  She's all, "Heyyyyy, I'm having a party this weekend, will u be there?" and "When can we meet again?  We can always meet for parties!"  And she's Waving to me, too -- that's like a Poke on Facebook, right?  She got so desperate -- guess the Urban Dictionary term for it is "thirsty?" -- for my dick that, when she sent out a notice that she was hosting a party on New Year's Eve and I (and presumably others) said I (and they) couldn't come, she postponed that party by two days.  I still didn't go.  Which prompted another message through Facebook: "Hey, when are you available again?  You want me to cum to your place?  That's cool, too!"

This ... oh, let's just call it harassment is something I have never encountered before from a stripper.  And -- look, I'll be frank: If this was coming from a stripper I thought was really hot and helped me bust my nut for a reasonable amount of money, you damn straight I would come running to her place.  But she is not any of those things, so I find her constant messaging to be very annoying.  She has relented a bit, for now, but for a while it had become so incessant that I was getting creeped out.  There's a level of distraction I wouldn't tolerate from anyone, no matter how hot she may be.

Saying that ... after I blog post this, I'm going to North Minneapolis to get a handjob, blowjob and rimjob from this chick.  Honestly, this stripper's not all that, either.  But she's way closer to me, and she did not hesitate to, after her party fell through, invite me over for a 1-on-1 even though she had never met me.  Moreover, I get to rawdog her.  Best of all, I get to do all that shit for $100.

And I'll be honest: I have been the one pursuing her.  Now, she has sent me invites to her party, and after I said I can't make it, she has not gone to the lengths of communicating with me like this other black chick has.  She can tell that I'm not a pushover, and she just let it go.  But frankly, that arouses me.  Her lack of interest in me makes me more interested in her.  But when the tables are turned, when I am the hunted instead of the hunter, when I am the thirsty one -- well, that turns me off.  That is total hypocrisy, I know.  But that's the way my asshole heart feels.

Anyway, God bless ****y.  Because of proximity and value, I am looking forward to seeing her at her place this morning.  Don't know if I'll be fit enough to allow her to make me cum.  It might be another jerk-off session with her as a spectator.  I only have an hour, and that always makes me nervous.  Whatever happens, I will feel good to finally slake my thirst, and to finally hunt my prey.

And some time next month I will take this other chick up on her offer to do me up at my place.  The upside to having someone so thirsty for money is that I can bargain her down.  Plus it saves me a trip.

Poor Bastard Of The Moment: Cody Parkey

I found myself rooting for the Philadelphia Eagles in tonight's Wild Card game versus the Chicago Bears because I inherently root for the underdog.  But then I remembered: Isn't this the same team that bounced my Vikings in last year's NFC Championship Game, whose fans then stiffed the Twin Cities on tips on their way to winning the Super Bowl in our home stadium back in February?  Well, at least the Vikings didn't lose, so I can't be dejected any more.

Who is dejected?  Chicago Bears Kicker Cody Parkey, who did this:

He not only missed four kicks in a win over the Detroit Lions, he hit the upright all four times. He hit again once last week in beat my Vikes here. And then this. And a double doink at that. Six missed kicks, seven doinks.

I'm glad the Bears lost -- either way I'm glad a team lost -- but I still have to feel for Cody Parkey, who was mercilessly booed off the field and has had Bird Box memes tweeted about him. So everybody, say it with me now:

Poor Bastard.

Hmmm; This Annoys Me About My Supervisor. It's A Fine Point, But A Salient One, At Least For Me

OK, this situation arose out of a perfect storm of circumstances, and they are so jumbled that I will not describe it with any sense of justice nor clarity.  But I'll write anyway.

So I was at my old department yesterday/Saturday.  Work was slow all week, but it somehow seemed to pick up after lunch, so I was inundated with going through the files.

The rotation of the seats was such that I was at the right-most.  That is right next to the window through which these files are passed into my department.  It is also closest to the scanner.  You see, when this folder is passed through the window, it is quickly riffled through for red ink and tears that might affect the applications as they go through the scanner.  Once they're prepared, it gets sent through the scanner.  Once they're scanned, they're logged in and placed in a hanging rack where we sit.  It's important that the files be scanned so we can enter the data on each application in our software system.  And it's important that we eventually get the physical folders after all the information is entered so, if need be, we could look at the actual form for discrepancies and any pieces of information that are not totally clear on the image of the application.  Got that?

In short, it's important that these files get worked through the scanning process.  Without it, the people working down the line don't have any work.  And for now, and usually on Saturdays, there is only one person dedicated to scanning.  One has been OK for this past week.  Hell, the work was so slow half a person was more than enough.  But especially on Tuesdays, when work is at its most, we need two.  Still with me?

I am still not sure how to do this part of my job.  What to enter and what not to enter -- shit like that I think I have finally gotten down (or at least I have just let it pass, one of the two), but there are still huge swaths of things I have either not done or had done so long ago that it might as well be new to me.  One of the latter is scanning.  One of the former is reading the flow of work and knowing when to key and when to help prepare and scan these folders that are coming in.  Know what I mean?

Oh, and my supervisor had a half-day but was bitching about wanting the full day because I think his kids have a basketball tournament.

Oh, and I usually have my headphones on because I'm bored as shit at this department.  And the Wild game was on.  And I hate this department.

---

OK, so I set the parameters.  But I need to add this: I have been warned in the past not to bury myself in my headphones because, from time to time, someone will call for me, out of the blue, for something.  You damn right I have ignored those warnings, and I'll keep ignoring them.  Why?  See above.

My supervisor has this super-annoying knack to, whenever he needs something, he will just call it out, into the ether, while not looking at my direction.  That is apparently what happened early yesterday afternoon, but since I was buried in my work, I only half-heard him, you know?  I had enough of a spidey sense to rip off one of my headphones just in case he was talking to me.  And he was talking to me.  Oh my goodness, he was: "I told you to start prepping."

Oh, did you now?

OK, one thing that I just popped into my head: I don't remember if he used the word "told" or "asked."  As I am ginning up my memories about this incident, my feelings of embarrassment and anger are also welling up inside me, and in my triggered state, there is one hell of a difference between "asked" and "told," and I hope you can just tell the difference without me needing to spell it out for you.

But my original bone to pick with what he said to me is the first part: "I told you ..."  I understand the need for the work to continue to flow.  I still can't tell when to drop everything I'm doing and go to the preparation station, but that's because I was, you know, actually doing work.  My supervisor and I are probably on the same page on that.  It's what we're there for.  Moreover, I'm guessing that he didn't want to be there.  I've snapped at people while at work before, so I understand that sometimes people will snap at me.  (Hell, it's already happened.)  I'm not leaving this job immediately over this, but I'll just keep track of how many of these angry retorts he says to me over the years, and maybe it'll accumulate to a point where I'll say to hell with this job.

Anyway, I take a large amount of goddamn umbrage with the phrase "I told you."  When one says that, one is telling you that he thinks you need to know he is repeating an order to you.  In fact, you are saying to me that you feeling as though you need to repeat an order to me is as important, if not more important, than the order itself.

Well, shit, I got some fucking news for him -- I don't give a good goddamn that he had to repeat himself.  His petty annoyances of me listening to the radio because I don't want to hear the chitchat he and my other co-workers are saying during the workday don't mean shit compared to what needs to get done.  He can just say, "Start prepping."  He should just say, "Start prepping."  Ideally, he should look me in the eye when he says, "Start prepping," even though that sure as shit ain't gonna happen.  But I don't care if he or any other of my authority figures have warned me before about shutting the environment from my ears because I don't want to hear.  He'll probably have to fuckin' repeat himself a hundred times the next time he wants me to do something.  I don't care how he fucking feels when he repeats himself.  Tell me what needs to get done, and leave your fucking feelings out of it.

And of course I'll be warned about not paying attention to the work environment, and I'll say sorry, I try and be better at it.  Fuck all this. ...