I was going back and forth as to whether I should make this a regular blog post or if I wanted to turn this into a complaint letter/message directed to Melt Shop (or The Melt Shop, I don't care, as you'll see why). What I've decided to do is a hybrid of both.
Dear Malt Shop:
After work and in order to wait for the evening traffic to subside, I stopped by the Mall of America. I planned on eating at Qdoba, but when I arrived, I saw that the Maltshop facade had dropped and in its place was the actual restaurant. It was finally open. (Didn't realize until I came home in the evening and looked them up that The Malt Shop opened that day, Monday. How fortuitous.) I've eaten at Qdoba before, and since this place was brand new (although I also didn't realize until I came home in the evening and looked them up that this restaurant isn't brand new; it was born in New York City, where it has several locations, and one spot in Washington, D.C.), I figured I would go to them.
The first thing that blew me away -- and it really blew me away -- were the prices. That's why I opted for their "Classic" -- it was the cheapest sandwich on their menu. They also really touted their shakes, so instead of having yet another Coke I got one of those -- Nutella, because it was listed first. And a regular size, because it was almost five bucks, just like their "Classic." No sides like their so-called famous Tater Tots. Probably better that way anyway since I spent more than seven bucks on lunch.
The menu described what their "Classic" was, but only when I actually got it did I realize exactly what I got. It's a goddamn grilled cheese sandwich. That's it. If I recall correctly the description said "Wisconsin and American cheese on white bread," and oh, that's it. Now, it was delicious, and it was expertly made, or at least expertly made as something as basic as a grilled cheese sandwich can be made; I like the buttered white bread in particular. But I don't see how it would be appreciably different from any crap I try to make at home, and that would cost me, what, 30 cents unit price?
But what really bugged me about you guys was when I handed my money over. The total for the grilled cheese sandwich and Nutella shake (which, by the way, was fantastic, and I can justify the price of that, at least a little bit) was $10.49. I hand over a twenty. I get $9.50 back, not $9.51. I ask the cashier, "Where's my penny?" To which he replied, "Oh, we don't give out pennies here." I have absolutely no idea what the hell that means. I have never heard that before, and I was so gobsmacked by what this guy told me, I didn't know what to say, so I just waddled over to the side to wait for my food.
"You don't give out pennies here?" What does that even mean? Why can't I get my exact change? Why are you guys unable or unwilling to get pennies for your cash registers? Is not giving out pennies for change a millenial thing? I know it's just a penny, but if the cash register says to expect $9.51 back, I want $9.51 back. If it is Melt Shop policy that its stores will not supply pennies -- which I still think is fucking weird -- do me and all of your customers a favor and round up your prices to the nearest nickel. (Oh, by the way, I don't appreciate the price of my meal being rounded up arbitrarily. You people just took another penny from me.) Oh, actually you need to do one thing first: TELL YOUR CUSTOMERS BEFORE THEY ORDER THAT YOU DO NOT GIVE OUT PENNIES FOR CHANGE. Something like that only seems fair. By the way, if it isn't Melt Shop policy to not supply pennies, then it looks like you guys hired an asshole who fucked me out of a penny, and he needs to be fired yesterday.
But hey, it's just a penny. I want to think that I paid a lesson for it: Never go to Melt Shop ever again.
Sunday, January 31, 2016
Saturday, January 30, 2016
Just Got Fucked By The State On My Health Insurance
Man, I don't want to blame Obama for this, I know in my mind that this is not the result of the Affordable Care Act, but goddamn, this really pisses me off.
A couple weeks ago I was sent a letter by MNSure ... well, I'm not sure, I had MinnesotaCare and I was told once that MNSure was not the government department I needed to speak to ... I was sent by someone that I needed to send them proof of income to prove that I'm still eligible. I wasn't exactly sure what my income would be, since I was still a temp, so I thought that sending them copies of my tax return and a list of my W-2s would suffice.
Well, on Thursday I opened up this letter and it told me I had been disenrolled. You've got to be fucking kidding me. And that was it -- I received a disenrollment letter, and that's it.
There are two big things wrong about this, setting aside the fact that, apparently, I have been thrown out of health coverage from the state. There was no explanation as to why I've been rejected. There was a list, but that covers the gamut of reasons why anybody would get thrown out of health insurance -- haven't paid premiums (but I have), voluntarily got health coverage through my employer (that didn't happen), or loss of eligibility (is that it?), etc. No specific reason was given, therefore I don't know whether I can appeal or if there was something wrong or, somehow, if it is possible that I shouldn't have health coverage. This was just a one-page letter just telling me I don't have health insurance anymore, so I don't know what the fuck I can do about it.
The other thing was the timing. The letter says that I lose my coverage as of January 31 -- tomorrow. Remember that I opened up this letter on Thursday. I was told I was going to lose my health insurance three days before I was going to lose it. Three. Fucking. Days. And only one workday where I could call them and ask just the fuck is going on and why the hell have I lost my insurance. But of course since the deadline for everyone to sign up is January 31, when I called in I was told that they were really busy and to call back another time ... after I have lost my health insurance. Now if that isn't an unfair cheap shot, I don't know what is.
It almost feels like this a joke. And it kind of is. MNSure, or at least the new state health exchange created as a result of the implementation of ACA and, at least I think, took over MinnesotaCare, has had hiccups and fuck-ups since it was born. I was also asked for proof of income several months ago, and I was given a deadline of the day after the letter came in the mail. And that deadline, by the way, was a Saturday. I scrambled to find everything I could to put it in the mail before the day's last delivery time (which is always earlier on Saturdays because it's Saturday), but I sent a note saying, ostensibly, "You give me one fucking day to give you all the shit you want? This is what I have, and if you take away my insurance from me because of this setup, I'm going to get violent." Well, I didn't get a throw-out letter from them. Until now.
MNSure has been such a shitshow that I still think that they have made a mistake. This single letter they gave me was a disaster, but it is uncharacteristic of them to do that. At the very least they would have sent a another page stating a reason for my ineligibility. Also, there have been stories over the past 12 months about how the system has been such shit that they aren't enforcing even things such as premium payments. It's bad that bad. Finally, back in the early fall I actually went to MNSure because I couldn't figure out if I had to pay a different monthly premium. The person I spoke to said that although I had to pay a different amount from that point on, they're not going to worry about late payments. So I'm holding out hope that I, somehow, still have health insurance, and I have reason to believe that isn't a pie-in-the-sky attitude.
Nevertheless, unless I get a letter in today's mail basically saying, "My bad! You still have health insurance!" I think I need to go to the website and sign up (or at least try and sign up -- who knows if the website has been fixed since it's been a shambles since its inception) for health insurance. I'm really scared that signing up is only going to create a bunch of issues down the line. The worst of those I can think of is my job. It's probably going to end in a couple weeks. That is good because one of the ways you can get insurance after the deadline is a loss of employment. However, what I really want to do is not sign up, then sign up after I lose my job because that way I'll be eligible for more subsidies because I'm on the dole. But can I do that after the deadline? Because if I don't get insurance by tomorrow, I think I am subject to the annual fine, which I think is $700. And if I am subject to that fine, why sign up at all? It makes absolutely no sense to pay for health insurance if I also have to pay the fine. So what do I do, or don't do?
See, if we had single payer, or if we had a nationalized health insurance system, I don't ever have to worry about "losing" health insurance. Why is this something I need to look for, or to shop? It should just ... be there, you know? I'll pay whatever the fuck I need to pay, garnish my wages if you have to, but I'm now stuck in this purgatory where I may or may not have to do it and I could get myself into further shit if I don't sign up or if I do sign up? What the fuck is this? THIS IS HEALTH INSURANCE!!!
But I don't want to blame Obamacare for it. It isn't really that. I am all for a nearly completely for-profit form of health insurance, because it is a hell of a lot better than the completely for-profit bullshit form of insurance we had before Obama came into office. I just absolutely hate how it's being done. Because it isn't being done, at all. This is just one big goddamn disaster after another, and I am getting fucked over because of it.
Friday, January 29, 2016
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -2). Wisconsin is a lightweight again this year, but it was still important that they sweep them in Madison; crushing them by a combined score of 13-2 doesn't hurt. Add slight stumbles to the other two good teams in the B1G, Michigan and Penn St., and the Gophers technically sit atop the conference and would, according to early bracketology projections, be in the 16-team field. (Going by PairWise, they would be one of the final teams out if they didn't snag the automatic bid, however.) What seems even better for the squad is that they currently enjoy a five-game winning streak and have been putting the biscuit in the basket often; they have scored 28 goals during their winning streak.
This week they take a step back from conference play and participate in the third annual North Star College Cup. This year, of the five state top-flight schools, Minnesota-Duluth sits this one out. (As the big school in the state, Minnesota plays every single year.) What I don't get is that the four tournament games will be played at 1 and 4 in the afternoon. No night games? Is there something that's happening in the evening at the X? And are you going to make Minnesota hockey fans pay exorbitant prices to park on the street now that St. Paul has enacted new, longer and more expensive rates? (I should blog about that; that pisses me off.) Oh, they draw Bemidji St. Saturday late afternoon.
#-2: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -1). OK, don't look now, but after holding off the Badgers in Wisconsin and coming back to defeat Illinois at The Barn, this U. club is on a four-game winning streak. Their current conference record of 6-3 puts them in a three-way tie for fourth. Now, does that and a 14-6 overall record mean they make it into the field of 64? No, according to Charlie Creme. But it looks as though they have firmly ensconced themselves in the WNIT. Plus, if they can somehow take both very tough games this screening week (at Michigan Sunday, versus Rutgers Thursday), who knows?
#-3: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -3). OK, I don't know if this is a sign that the team is rounding into form, or even if they've become the proverbial Team You Don't Want To Face come NCAA Tournament time. But I guess I have to be encouraged after the grapplers downed Purdue at the Sports Pavilion Sunday, 23-18. This means they've won back-to-back duals, so ... yay, I guess?
I don't know how the schedule-makers set this bullshit up, but that was their last home conference game of the year. They finish with four in a row on the road, beginning with a certain trouncing tonight at Iowa.
#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4). They can hang their shingle on their 106-101 victory over The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies Saturday. They're a good team. The Woofs haven't beaten many good teams this year, but they haven't beaten many teams this year, period. Moreover, they kept it close at Cleveland and battled The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics to the end before falling by three.
Some pundits this week have taken stock about the roster. Karl-Anthony Towns appears to have the Rookie Of The Year award locked up, no problems there. Andrew Wiggins is getting a lot more scrutiny; people who think the world could be his believe that he needs to work on his handle next. Some people are marveling at the maturation of Zach LaVine; he's blossoming from a show-off 2 who could win the Slam Dunk Contest for the next decade into a silky shooter who is improving at the point.
And the point is where the Wolves are facing a lot of heat. Ricky Rubio has fallen into a cold-shooting slump, again. Apparently all that time with a shooting coach hasn't given his jump shot the requisite arc that's needed to raise the probability it goes in. And I guess (I haven't watch the Woofs that closely, they're terrible) these bad shooting nights have continued virtually unabated. In fact, I heard there were a couple of shots that Rubio missed during the Thunder game where his defender was, well, not defending him. He totally sagged on him, gave him feet and all the time in the world, practically daring him to shoot. And he, being the only open man on the floor, did, and it was a miss, and the Thunder got the ball, and that's why they won. Guess here is that the fans have finally noticed and are booing Ricky Ricky after every miss.
You know what? I think I've had enough. All this time I say you need to hold onto Rubio for his superior court vision and his underrated defense. But dammit, if he's shooting is so shitty that it's basically 4-on-5 every time the T-Wolves have the ball ... fine, trade him. His assets should allow the organization to see him with as high a value as he's ever going to get. Start Tyus Jones, or use Andre Miller as a stopgap. But if this is the plateau for Rubio, and his liabilities are this deficient, he's just holding the team back. And the fanbase needs to see rapid improvement from this franchise.
This week's a busy one, and it's all on the road: Utah to Portland to Los Angeles against both teams.
#-5: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -6). Well, they lost both games this week, extending their losing streak to ten games and keeping them winless in the B1G. But hey, they were both close, so I'm going to throw them a bone and keep them out of the top spot for at least this week. They took Illinois to overtime before dropping the contest 76-71 Saturday, and they hung tough against a ranked, tough Purdue squad Wednesday before losing, 68-64. I should ask that both games were at Williams Arena, so it stands to reason that if the Goofers played these games on their floors, it wouldn't have been nearly as close. But they were at home, and they were close, so I'm going to toss them an attaboy.
Unfortunately the road is where they go this week: Indiana Saturday, Northwestern Thursday. Could they win? Sure. And monkeys could fly out of my butt.
#-6: Wild (Last Week: -5). What happened in Monday's come-from-ahead loss to Arizona encapsulates the dread and pessimism we Twin Cities fans have for our teams. Late in the game, Mild clinging to a 1-0 lead. They get a power play. The Bastard Winnipeg Jets are racing down the Mild defensive zone as the puck shoots in their end. Devyn Dubnyk -- the team's only representative in the All-Star Game, in case you have forgotten -- lollygags in retrieving the puck. Arizona gets it and deposits it in the goal, made wide open because Dubnyk was out of position, and the Coyotes tie the game. On a short-handed goal. Late. So of course they lose in a Shootout.
Coupled with a 4-3 loss in San Jose, where they battled back from a 3-1 deficit only to (and stop me if you've heard this one before) allow a score late, they have now lost seven of their last eight games heading into the All-Star Break. Worst of all, they have slipped out of their Wild Card 1 status all the way down to next-to-last place in the Central Division. This team, and maybe this organization, is in a tailspin.
It might not be fair to pin this all on Dubnyk, although that fuck-up against the Coyotes came at the worst possible time. They just can't score with any regularity. Mike Yeo continues to shuffle the forward lines and still isn't producing any chemistry that results in offense. Mike Pominville, Tomas Vanek, I (and many Wild fans) are looking at you.
But the problem probably runs deeper than that. The franchise has been up against the salary cap the past couple years now, so they have to rely on the young talent, some of whom they signed to long-term contracts, to develop. They haven't, and it's killing this club. Nino Niedereitter. (I'll check the spelling on his last name as soon as he does something good again.) Jason Zucker. Matt Dumba. Mikael Granlund, who I was right about when I said he was too small to be an effective scorer. Basically everyone except Charlie Coyle (who, by the way, was acquired in a trade with San Jose for which Minnesota gave up Brent Burns) has failed to step up. And if they don't shape up now, this will be a colossal failure and a serious reckoning point for the direction of the Minnesota Wild.
They have a three-game road trip after the ASG. This screening week they'll be in the New York area to play the Islanders and Rangers.
This week they take a step back from conference play and participate in the third annual North Star College Cup. This year, of the five state top-flight schools, Minnesota-Duluth sits this one out. (As the big school in the state, Minnesota plays every single year.) What I don't get is that the four tournament games will be played at 1 and 4 in the afternoon. No night games? Is there something that's happening in the evening at the X? And are you going to make Minnesota hockey fans pay exorbitant prices to park on the street now that St. Paul has enacted new, longer and more expensive rates? (I should blog about that; that pisses me off.) Oh, they draw Bemidji St. Saturday late afternoon.
#-2: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -1). OK, don't look now, but after holding off the Badgers in Wisconsin and coming back to defeat Illinois at The Barn, this U. club is on a four-game winning streak. Their current conference record of 6-3 puts them in a three-way tie for fourth. Now, does that and a 14-6 overall record mean they make it into the field of 64? No, according to Charlie Creme. But it looks as though they have firmly ensconced themselves in the WNIT. Plus, if they can somehow take both very tough games this screening week (at Michigan Sunday, versus Rutgers Thursday), who knows?
#-3: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -3). OK, I don't know if this is a sign that the team is rounding into form, or even if they've become the proverbial Team You Don't Want To Face come NCAA Tournament time. But I guess I have to be encouraged after the grapplers downed Purdue at the Sports Pavilion Sunday, 23-18. This means they've won back-to-back duals, so ... yay, I guess?
I don't know how the schedule-makers set this bullshit up, but that was their last home conference game of the year. They finish with four in a row on the road, beginning with a certain trouncing tonight at Iowa.
#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4). They can hang their shingle on their 106-101 victory over The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies Saturday. They're a good team. The Woofs haven't beaten many good teams this year, but they haven't beaten many teams this year, period. Moreover, they kept it close at Cleveland and battled The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics to the end before falling by three.
Some pundits this week have taken stock about the roster. Karl-Anthony Towns appears to have the Rookie Of The Year award locked up, no problems there. Andrew Wiggins is getting a lot more scrutiny; people who think the world could be his believe that he needs to work on his handle next. Some people are marveling at the maturation of Zach LaVine; he's blossoming from a show-off 2 who could win the Slam Dunk Contest for the next decade into a silky shooter who is improving at the point.
And the point is where the Wolves are facing a lot of heat. Ricky Rubio has fallen into a cold-shooting slump, again. Apparently all that time with a shooting coach hasn't given his jump shot the requisite arc that's needed to raise the probability it goes in. And I guess (I haven't watch the Woofs that closely, they're terrible) these bad shooting nights have continued virtually unabated. In fact, I heard there were a couple of shots that Rubio missed during the Thunder game where his defender was, well, not defending him. He totally sagged on him, gave him feet and all the time in the world, practically daring him to shoot. And he, being the only open man on the floor, did, and it was a miss, and the Thunder got the ball, and that's why they won. Guess here is that the fans have finally noticed and are booing Ricky Ricky after every miss.
You know what? I think I've had enough. All this time I say you need to hold onto Rubio for his superior court vision and his underrated defense. But dammit, if he's shooting is so shitty that it's basically 4-on-5 every time the T-Wolves have the ball ... fine, trade him. His assets should allow the organization to see him with as high a value as he's ever going to get. Start Tyus Jones, or use Andre Miller as a stopgap. But if this is the plateau for Rubio, and his liabilities are this deficient, he's just holding the team back. And the fanbase needs to see rapid improvement from this franchise.
This week's a busy one, and it's all on the road: Utah to Portland to Los Angeles against both teams.
#-5: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -6). Well, they lost both games this week, extending their losing streak to ten games and keeping them winless in the B1G. But hey, they were both close, so I'm going to throw them a bone and keep them out of the top spot for at least this week. They took Illinois to overtime before dropping the contest 76-71 Saturday, and they hung tough against a ranked, tough Purdue squad Wednesday before losing, 68-64. I should ask that both games were at Williams Arena, so it stands to reason that if the Goofers played these games on their floors, it wouldn't have been nearly as close. But they were at home, and they were close, so I'm going to toss them an attaboy.
Unfortunately the road is where they go this week: Indiana Saturday, Northwestern Thursday. Could they win? Sure. And monkeys could fly out of my butt.
#-6: Wild (Last Week: -5). What happened in Monday's come-from-ahead loss to Arizona encapsulates the dread and pessimism we Twin Cities fans have for our teams. Late in the game, Mild clinging to a 1-0 lead. They get a power play. The Bastard Winnipeg Jets are racing down the Mild defensive zone as the puck shoots in their end. Devyn Dubnyk -- the team's only representative in the All-Star Game, in case you have forgotten -- lollygags in retrieving the puck. Arizona gets it and deposits it in the goal, made wide open because Dubnyk was out of position, and the Coyotes tie the game. On a short-handed goal. Late. So of course they lose in a Shootout.
Coupled with a 4-3 loss in San Jose, where they battled back from a 3-1 deficit only to (and stop me if you've heard this one before) allow a score late, they have now lost seven of their last eight games heading into the All-Star Break. Worst of all, they have slipped out of their Wild Card 1 status all the way down to next-to-last place in the Central Division. This team, and maybe this organization, is in a tailspin.
It might not be fair to pin this all on Dubnyk, although that fuck-up against the Coyotes came at the worst possible time. They just can't score with any regularity. Mike Yeo continues to shuffle the forward lines and still isn't producing any chemistry that results in offense. Mike Pominville, Tomas Vanek, I (and many Wild fans) are looking at you.
But the problem probably runs deeper than that. The franchise has been up against the salary cap the past couple years now, so they have to rely on the young talent, some of whom they signed to long-term contracts, to develop. They haven't, and it's killing this club. Nino Niedereitter. (I'll check the spelling on his last name as soon as he does something good again.) Jason Zucker. Matt Dumba. Mikael Granlund, who I was right about when I said he was too small to be an effective scorer. Basically everyone except Charlie Coyle (who, by the way, was acquired in a trade with San Jose for which Minnesota gave up Brent Burns) has failed to step up. And if they don't shape up now, this will be a colossal failure and a serious reckoning point for the direction of the Minnesota Wild.
They have a three-game road trip after the ASG. This screening week they'll be in the New York area to play the Islanders and Rangers.
Thursday, January 28, 2016
After Five Weeks My Vibrate Is Back!!!
Funny thing. I was at Brit's Pub on December 19 when my phone, which I slipped into the too-shallow left pocket of the hooded sweatshirt I was wearing, slipped out and hit the floor as I adjusted my sitting position. Didn't thinking nothing of it; it had a case and it worked because my phone still did.
But then, several days later because I'm slow on the uptake, whenever I heard the alarm I didn't hear the vibrating that went along with it. (I usually turn my ringer off and keep my vibrating setting to on.) That's when it dawned on me: That spill onto the ground destroyed the motor that does the vibration on my iPhone.
Or is it destroyed? Finally I came around to looking how to get my vibrate back. First I tried hitting the back of my cell, which seemed to do the trick for many people on the Internet, but it didn't work for me. (I thought about whacking the back of it against a table, but I didn't want to break my phone or then I'd really be screwed.) Then I downloaded this free app called iBrate where you can push a button and test out the vibrating function. I downloaded it and the phone still didn't vibrate ... and then I realized that the app didn't fix the broken vibrate, it only tests for it. Look, I didn't put 2 and 2 together, OK?
So I just decided that my phone was succumbing to old age and that I'd have to put the ringer on more often. I don't like having the ringtone on when, for example, a call comes in, but one of the very frustrating things as a result of losing vibrate is that I'm not alerted to an incoming phone call just because I have the ringer off and I didn't notice the screen on my phone. I have missed many phone calls the past few weeks when my phone was in plain sight. But, hey, what can you do. That's life, I'll learn to put the ringer on, and I'll move ahead.
But then something weird happened during our alumni event last Saturday. I was in my usual chicken-with-its-head-cut-off state, hoping that at least somebody was going to show up to play bocce ball. People did, thank God, and so I started snapping pictures on my iPhone to immediately disseminate through social media. And it was at some point during those two hours when I noticed the phone shaking from time to time. I paused for a second to think, "Wait a second -- do I have my vibrate back?" And after the event was over I tested my cell on iBrate and, Hallelujah, I have my vibration back!!!
Cut to this morning where I didn't think my cellphone vibrated when the alarm came on, but in later alarms (I hit the snooze button a couple times, per usual) it did shake. So maybe it's cutting back out, but maybe I'm wrong and it's back again! And it took only five weeks, but my phone is whole and functioning at 100%!!!
But then, several days later because I'm slow on the uptake, whenever I heard the alarm I didn't hear the vibrating that went along with it. (I usually turn my ringer off and keep my vibrating setting to on.) That's when it dawned on me: That spill onto the ground destroyed the motor that does the vibration on my iPhone.
Or is it destroyed? Finally I came around to looking how to get my vibrate back. First I tried hitting the back of my cell, which seemed to do the trick for many people on the Internet, but it didn't work for me. (I thought about whacking the back of it against a table, but I didn't want to break my phone or then I'd really be screwed.) Then I downloaded this free app called iBrate where you can push a button and test out the vibrating function. I downloaded it and the phone still didn't vibrate ... and then I realized that the app didn't fix the broken vibrate, it only tests for it. Look, I didn't put 2 and 2 together, OK?
So I just decided that my phone was succumbing to old age and that I'd have to put the ringer on more often. I don't like having the ringtone on when, for example, a call comes in, but one of the very frustrating things as a result of losing vibrate is that I'm not alerted to an incoming phone call just because I have the ringer off and I didn't notice the screen on my phone. I have missed many phone calls the past few weeks when my phone was in plain sight. But, hey, what can you do. That's life, I'll learn to put the ringer on, and I'll move ahead.
But then something weird happened during our alumni event last Saturday. I was in my usual chicken-with-its-head-cut-off state, hoping that at least somebody was going to show up to play bocce ball. People did, thank God, and so I started snapping pictures on my iPhone to immediately disseminate through social media. And it was at some point during those two hours when I noticed the phone shaking from time to time. I paused for a second to think, "Wait a second -- do I have my vibrate back?" And after the event was over I tested my cell on iBrate and, Hallelujah, I have my vibration back!!!
Cut to this morning where I didn't think my cellphone vibrated when the alarm came on, but in later alarms (I hit the snooze button a couple times, per usual) it did shake. So maybe it's cutting back out, but maybe I'm wrong and it's back again! And it took only five weeks, but my phone is whole and functioning at 100%!!!
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
Addendum To: It's Time To Get A New Computer
Of all the reminders that I need that my laptop's crapping out on me, this morning was a stark and sharp one. What it often does shortly after I turn it on and open Internet browser windows is seize -- the downloading circle stops spinning and the cursor stops moving. (When it starts out this slowly and I know it's going to freeze up, I spin my mouse wheel upward. That freezes the cursor. I think I subconsciously believe that forces the issue of it freezing to begin sooner than it otherwise would have, and so I could get done with the freezing sooner than if I just let the laptop take its course. But I think I really want to do that just so I can see it freeze. I'm weird like that.) It unfreezes itself in a minute or two, but sometimes it takes several minutes to do that.
It took several minutes to unfreeze itself this morning. Too bad this was just before I had to leave for work. I needed to get on my computer to purchase a ticket to a show I am going to tonight. I could have done it last night, after I watched The Big Short, but I got tired. So I decided I would get up a little early in the morning and buy it. Except that I didn't get up a little early in the morning, I woke up at my usual time. And then, before I could hit the "GET TICKETS" button, my lap froze on me. One minuted passed, then two. Then I looked at my watch; the time on my watch is now four minutes faster than the one displayed on my computer. You've got to be kidding me!
It took a total of six minutes before my lap finally got un-stuck. I saw the time go from "7:34" to "7:40" and I couldn't believe how this damn piece of machinery screwed me. I needed to go on Facebook and work on Mafia Wars, but now I had no time. Hell, I had no time to buy the ticket, but at least it didn't freeze again.
Combine being late getting out the door with needing to scrape my windshield of ice and added slowdowns on the highways because of the snow that came through overnight, and I was ten minutes late to work. Like I have been all week. But this morning I could have gotten to work on time ... OK, maybe, if not for my damn slow computer. Waiting for the old, fried processor to get over being overwhelmed and finally start chugging through downloading these pages, barely tolerable now, was absolutely frustrating and cost me time today.
I have money. I think it's time to find a new laptop. Can't put up with this.
It took several minutes to unfreeze itself this morning. Too bad this was just before I had to leave for work. I needed to get on my computer to purchase a ticket to a show I am going to tonight. I could have done it last night, after I watched The Big Short, but I got tired. So I decided I would get up a little early in the morning and buy it. Except that I didn't get up a little early in the morning, I woke up at my usual time. And then, before I could hit the "GET TICKETS" button, my lap froze on me. One minuted passed, then two. Then I looked at my watch; the time on my watch is now four minutes faster than the one displayed on my computer. You've got to be kidding me!
It took a total of six minutes before my lap finally got un-stuck. I saw the time go from "7:34" to "7:40" and I couldn't believe how this damn piece of machinery screwed me. I needed to go on Facebook and work on Mafia Wars, but now I had no time. Hell, I had no time to buy the ticket, but at least it didn't freeze again.
Combine being late getting out the door with needing to scrape my windshield of ice and added slowdowns on the highways because of the snow that came through overnight, and I was ten minutes late to work. Like I have been all week. But this morning I could have gotten to work on time ... OK, maybe, if not for my damn slow computer. Waiting for the old, fried processor to get over being overwhelmed and finally start chugging through downloading these pages, barely tolerable now, was absolutely frustrating and cost me time today.
I have money. I think it's time to find a new laptop. Can't put up with this.
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Three Weeks And Counting
So, in a busy day (maybe the busiest I've ever had working there) my boss walks in (while I had actual work on my screen and not some webpage I was checking out, thank God) and asks about the current state of stuff we're working on. We told them that beyond the stuff we had to do today (and I hope he understands that that stuff comes in every day) there is some checking on information we still have to do. Boss asked how much work would be left to do that stuff; I spat out at least this week, just to give us some breathing room to screw around.
That's when he said he'll check back in with us next week and, according to him, "See what you guys will do for the rest of your assignment here," or something like that. We were told a couple/few weeks ago that our initial contract was going to be extended from mid-January to mid-February. (Did I blog about that? Damn, I should have.) But from our little meeting, that appears to be it when it comes to staying there. Bottom line: I and the two other dudes there have three weeks left -- two weeks and four days, technically.
Won't lie; my mood changed for the rest of the day. The people I work for have all encouraged me to apply for jobs with this company, and I really don't mind getting a full-time job with this company. But as of right now, of the four positions I've applied for, one already rejected me and I'm waiting to hear from the other three, all of which I applied for more than a week ago and have not even received an offer for an interview. An impromptu meeting by my boss to a co-worker of his led to me sending her my resume, but I haven't heard from her, either.
So this means that in three weeks' time, I'm out of a job. Again. Honestly, this shit is getting old. I'm not saying that working for this company would be a dream of mine, but I would like steady work, with more pay, benefits, and the ability to leave the hourly wage grind. Otherwise I'm looking at schlepping back to the temp agency, again, and getting back on the hamster wheel of finding my next paycheck.
Now, I have to be honest that thoughts of being able to hit My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Division) and playing grabass with some of the strippers in the afternoon and sleeping in till 1 did make me happy. And having no work allows me to work on finally getting around to looking through the papers I've taken out of storage weeks ago. Plus, any time I can spend a whole day at home without my parents being here is good for my soul. And I would probably have to hunker down at home because I would have no money to go out and spend. Of course, if I had a salaried job I could probably duck out an occasional afternoon to get my fuck on.
See, that's why I need a full-time job with benefits (from work, not from the strippers. Well, that too). I think it's time for me to finally take the next step and get more money. Question is, Will someone at this company give me a damn job, or will I get screwed over again?
That's when he said he'll check back in with us next week and, according to him, "See what you guys will do for the rest of your assignment here," or something like that. We were told a couple/few weeks ago that our initial contract was going to be extended from mid-January to mid-February. (Did I blog about that? Damn, I should have.) But from our little meeting, that appears to be it when it comes to staying there. Bottom line: I and the two other dudes there have three weeks left -- two weeks and four days, technically.
Won't lie; my mood changed for the rest of the day. The people I work for have all encouraged me to apply for jobs with this company, and I really don't mind getting a full-time job with this company. But as of right now, of the four positions I've applied for, one already rejected me and I'm waiting to hear from the other three, all of which I applied for more than a week ago and have not even received an offer for an interview. An impromptu meeting by my boss to a co-worker of his led to me sending her my resume, but I haven't heard from her, either.
So this means that in three weeks' time, I'm out of a job. Again. Honestly, this shit is getting old. I'm not saying that working for this company would be a dream of mine, but I would like steady work, with more pay, benefits, and the ability to leave the hourly wage grind. Otherwise I'm looking at schlepping back to the temp agency, again, and getting back on the hamster wheel of finding my next paycheck.
Now, I have to be honest that thoughts of being able to hit My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Division) and playing grabass with some of the strippers in the afternoon and sleeping in till 1 did make me happy. And having no work allows me to work on finally getting around to looking through the papers I've taken out of storage weeks ago. Plus, any time I can spend a whole day at home without my parents being here is good for my soul. And I would probably have to hunker down at home because I would have no money to go out and spend. Of course, if I had a salaried job I could probably duck out an occasional afternoon to get my fuck on.
See, that's why I need a full-time job with benefits (from work, not from the strippers. Well, that too). I think it's time for me to finally take the next step and get more money. Question is, Will someone at this company give me a damn job, or will I get screwed over again?
Monday, January 25, 2016
An E-Mail Backlog Milestone
I ... wish I had more time to blog, but I am kind of slammed, so I think that, at least for today, I'll make this quick. I want to note that ... uh, some time ago, maybe two weeks, maybe a little more (maybe I should've blogged about this as soon as I noticed), I surpassed the 20,000 e-mail count on my Hotmail account. That is, the number of e-mails on that account that I have yet to read has now passed 20,000. I am not proud of it, but I still cling to the hope that, one day, I'll be able to get that all the way down to 0.
Of course, the reason I can't do it at work is because many of the messages are pornographic in nature. That kind of limits the time I can do them. Oh well. I have e-mail from around Halloween 2011 I need to get through. If I'm more than four years behind, what's another, oh, month?
Of course, the reason I can't do it at work is because many of the messages are pornographic in nature. That kind of limits the time I can do them. Oh well. I have e-mail from around Halloween 2011 I need to get through. If I'm more than four years behind, what's another, oh, month?
Sunday, January 24, 2016
The Fucking Tire Valve Cap? Really?
OK, I'm trying to do the right thing and check the pressure on my tires (well, my parents' minivans tires). I checked them just before we had our cold snap, which was ... oh, I don't know, some time ago, and I remember that to balance out the same pressure of tire, I had to add 1 1/2 pounds on the passenger-side rear tire and a 1/2-pound on the driver-side front tire. Then the cold was followed by occasional bouts of snow, and I got busy, and ... uh, I think it's been two weeks since I last checked the pressure and I still haven't done anything about it.
Knowing my plans for today, I knew that after watching the EPL in the morning downtown and before watching the NFL conference championship games in the afternoon and evening (while getting groceries and lunch inbetween) I would finally fill the two problem tires with air. I did so even though I may have taken a little more time than I wanted to at Target because I couldn't find all of the items I had coupons for.
Pumping air into my tires was fine. But there was one damn hitch. The valve on the passenger-side rear tire, for some fucking reason, is jammed up against the side of the hubcap. All the other tire valves on the minivan are ... how do you describe it ... in the middle, you know, right in between those ... uh, arches of the hubcap, thingy? The valves have a lot of space surrounding it, so all you do is twist the cap open and then twist it closed once you're done, you know? But for this one my finger is pushed up against the side of the hubcap. It makes it a real pain in the ass to measure the tire pressure, too, because I have to slide the gauge right up against the hubcap. I don't know why the hell that is.
So I have trouble taking off the valve cap. And then I do, but my hand knocks against the hubcap and I drop it inside the hubcap. I have to dig my hand in there, and I find it, but as I pick it up I think the cap hits the hubcap and I drop the fucking thing again, and this time I don't know where behind the wheel it is. So I spend the next five fucking minutes getting my hands dirty as I rummage behind every nook and cranny behind the hubcap to feel where it is.
I actually find it, but I can't get my fingers around it. So I actually turn the engine on and back up the car in the hopes that reorienting the wheel might jar the cap loose. That didn't work, or it may have slipped from one part behind the hubcap to another part where it got lodged again. Whatever happened, I located it again, and I tried to shake it loose by driving the car back up one-quarter revolution of the tires, but now I don't know where it is. So fuck this, I thought, and I drove home, one tire valve cap-less.
This basically ruins the rest of my night. For one thing, I spent ten, fifteen minutes looking for this tire pressure cap. Because of this, I had to alter where I got lunch. I was going to go to Culver's (with a coupon) because I hadn't gone there in some time. But that was kind of far away, and with the time I took to look for this piece of shit cap I thought I had to eat somewhere closer. I was lucky I had a coupon to Burger King, so I went there. But the Culver's coupon expired at month's end (another reason why I planned to eat there) while the BK one expires in mid-to-late February. And I don't know if I'll be able to use the Culver's coupon now.
Also, I have this damn tire without a cap. Can I just drive without one so I can just stay inside the rest of the night? I mean, if I don't have a cap, the air in that tire isn't just going to squirt out, is it? It's just a cap! Nah, I guess I can't. But I'm staying inside to watch both football games. After they're done, I'll go out to ... oh, I don't know where to look, maybe Target, maybe a gas station, and I'll buy a cap. And since I'm out, I might as well -- I don't know, go eat or go to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition). Didn't want to spend money, but that's what one fucking cap in a piss-poorly aligned valve on a tire does to my life.
A CAP! A GODDAMN CAP!!!
Saturday, January 23, 2016
The Multitude Of Stripper Parties
Last Wednesday I got a text from one of the strippers I know that she's hosting a house party. The next day a different girl said she was hosting one at a hotel room. Finally, this Wednesday one of my ATFs told me she was hosting a party at her place.
The problem: All three were holding their parties on the same night, last (Friday) night. I had heard stories while at one party that other dancers were at another party being held somewhere in the metro area that night. But this is the first time I have ever been invited to multiple parties being held at the same night. And it couldn't have been just two parties; it had to be three.
Unbelievable. You mean there is actually competition with these stripper parties? I have to choose? I need to break out my day planner to schedule these? I didn't think there was enough pathetic loser demand to hold more than one party in the same week, let alone the same night. But there was.
I believe the strippers I talked to about these parties when they said there's no pressure if I didn't go to the one they were working. Still, I felt such a conflict about deciding which one to go to (no way in hell I am going to pay three different cover charges) that I had half a mind to not go to any of the parties and just stay home. But ultimately I decided to go to one. I eliminated one because it was so far away and it was a clean party. I eliminated a second because most of the girls there have gotten a dance from me (as well as seen and touched my dick) within the past couple weeks and it was at a hotel, which always makes me nervous that police will raid the place. To the affirmative, the party I did go to only had two strippers, which made for a more intimate setting. Also, I hadn't seen the host within two weeks, like most of the other dancers. Finally, I was intrigued by this one chick from North Africa. She had a bangin' body and I had never gotten a "dance" from her, and this was a good time to try her out.
Let's say that she didn't disappoint. Also the host of the party, the girl I have gone to to sleep with after getting a blowjob from her, was really frisky during our "dance," mostly because she was drunk out of her mind. Probably the best bang for my buck I've ever had. Oh, and there were only three guys the hour I was there, so it wasn't a sausage party. The guys who would have been there were probably at one of the other parties, so I guess in that sense, having multiple parties is a good thing. At the very least I think I made the right choice when it came to getting my rocks off at a good value with few prying eyes.
Oh, and here's the kicker: The host of the party said that there was in fact a fourth party going on then. And that party, also at a hotel, was being hosted by ***e*, another of my ATFs. Why didn't she invite me? I mean, I wouldn't have gone because she was hosting it at a city too far away, but still.
The problem: All three were holding their parties on the same night, last (Friday) night. I had heard stories while at one party that other dancers were at another party being held somewhere in the metro area that night. But this is the first time I have ever been invited to multiple parties being held at the same night. And it couldn't have been just two parties; it had to be three.
Unbelievable. You mean there is actually competition with these stripper parties? I have to choose? I need to break out my day planner to schedule these? I didn't think there was enough pathetic loser demand to hold more than one party in the same week, let alone the same night. But there was.
I believe the strippers I talked to about these parties when they said there's no pressure if I didn't go to the one they were working. Still, I felt such a conflict about deciding which one to go to (no way in hell I am going to pay three different cover charges) that I had half a mind to not go to any of the parties and just stay home. But ultimately I decided to go to one. I eliminated one because it was so far away and it was a clean party. I eliminated a second because most of the girls there have gotten a dance from me (as well as seen and touched my dick) within the past couple weeks and it was at a hotel, which always makes me nervous that police will raid the place. To the affirmative, the party I did go to only had two strippers, which made for a more intimate setting. Also, I hadn't seen the host within two weeks, like most of the other dancers. Finally, I was intrigued by this one chick from North Africa. She had a bangin' body and I had never gotten a "dance" from her, and this was a good time to try her out.
Let's say that she didn't disappoint. Also the host of the party, the girl I have gone to to sleep with after getting a blowjob from her, was really frisky during our "dance," mostly because she was drunk out of her mind. Probably the best bang for my buck I've ever had. Oh, and there were only three guys the hour I was there, so it wasn't a sausage party. The guys who would have been there were probably at one of the other parties, so I guess in that sense, having multiple parties is a good thing. At the very least I think I made the right choice when it came to getting my rocks off at a good value with few prying eyes.
Oh, and here's the kicker: The host of the party said that there was in fact a fourth party going on then. And that party, also at a hotel, was being hosted by ***e*, another of my ATFs. Why didn't she invite me? I mean, I wouldn't have gone because she was hosting it at a city too far away, but still.
Friday, January 22, 2016
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
#-1: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -4). I'm not quite sure if the U. female ballers should beat out the male icers for the top spot. What swayed me is that this club beat a ranked team, Northwestern, by a score higher than a fair share of NBA games, 95-92. Now, the Wildcats are ranked only in the coaches' poll (at #20, by the way), and the game was played at Williams Arena, but that ain't nuthin', so ... yeah, I'll put them first. They're not going anywhere, but my mood right now is that I don't want to take into consideration prospects two months from tournament time, and besides, I want to throw these players a bone. They're not good enough to have a 2-0 week (they squeaked by Indiana Sunday 78-76 at home) all that often. This week they're at Wisconsin and then home to Illinois.
#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1). Swept Michigan St. Maybe the players are defending their Head Coach from that quasi-hit piece from City Pages last week. Anyway, they beat a team that they should beat; if you haven't noticed, the B1G is separating like the whole conference has been spun in a centrifuge. I mean, just look at the press-time conference standings.
But (and I know I have totally backtracked on not looking at tournament prospects) as of right now they are on the outside looking in at the NCAA tourney. This week, Jayson Moy of USCHO.com says that the Gophers and Minnesota-Duluth are The Last Two Teams Out according to the PairWise Ratings, the metric that selects the at-large teams four the tournament. They may be rounding into form by, to be honest, getting into play in a weak conference, but they have more work to do. And that work is in Madison, Wisc., where they play two this weekend against a Wisconsin outfit in the dregs of the league, just like the Spartans.
#-3: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -1). I still think a win is an embarrassment given the current state of the program compared to where we have always known it to be. Yes, it is an upset. Yes, taking out the eighth-ranked team in the nation (Rutgers) is an accomplishment. But if this were the Gopher wrestling squad that we've all come to expect to dominate the league (well, except for Penn St. and Iowa) they would've crushed the Scarlets Knights, #8 ranking or no #8 ranking.
This time around, on Sunday, they barely squeaked past them. The score was 17-16. What it boiled down to was, of all things, the first match, at 197 lbs., where Gopher #4 Brett Pfarr Technically Fell Rutgers' Anthony Messner, giving the U. five points. That more than counteracted the Major Decision the Scarlet Knights' Nicholas Gravina racked up on the Gophers' Chris Pfarr (who I assume is Brett's brother -- I mean, the last name isn't "Smith") at 184 in the last match of the dual. Major Decisions are only four points, thus the one-point squeaker.
Believe it or not, the Gopher grapplers play their last home conference game of the season Sunday afternoon, against Purdue.
#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4). Wait ... what is that on the website schedule? Is that ... a green "W" next to a game they played? YAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They beat the Phoenix Suns on Sunday to end their losing streak at nine games. And they throttled them too, 117-87! Whodathunkit? Sure it was home, but come on, you get any win when you can, especially this team.
Oh, and on Wednesday in Dallas they took the Mavericks into Overtime before losing, 106-94. For these guys, yeah, I'll give them a moral "W" for that. Sure, they lost to Oklahoma City by 20 and New Orleans by 15, but whatever, they won!!! This week they visit Cleveland inbetween home dates against Memphis and the same Bastard Seattle SuperSonics.
#-5: Wild (Last Week: -3). With the possible exception of the Gopher men's hockey team, the Mild are the local club with any mass popularity that the fanbase can pin any hopes of postseason success on. Unfortunately, their six-game losing streak, punctuated with punchless losses to Nashville and Anaheim, have put this team in a tailspin. Thus, the team's 3-0 at Los Angeles last (Thursday) night (Darcy Kuemper had 32 saves) was a notable reprieve, even though it probably isn't the start of anything good.
And yet, they still are the same place they've been all season. Really all last season, too -- Wild Card 1. I'm not quite sure what's going on with that, but I guess that if they're still in a playoff spot despite a six-game losing streak, I won't complain.
Because of the U.S. Figure Skating Championships, they have been kicked out of the X. They will be completing a four-game road trip against San Jose Saturday, then come back home for the final game before the All-Star Break, Monday vs. Arizona.
#-6: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -4). Lost to Indiana and Michigan this week to extend their losing streak to eight games. So let's be clear about this: Richard Pitino isn't going anywhere. Not even to UNLV. First of all, why the hell he would jump from a BcS school to a mid-major program whose halcyon days died with Jerry Tarkanian (although, being in the Mountain West, they would be a big fish in a small pond)? And second of all, there is no way UNLV would take a guy who is head of a club that is 6-13 overall and winless in conference play.
Now, we might want him to leave, but this squad is taking its lumps this year because of the vaunted class Pitino's bringing in next year, led by the 32nd-best player in the Class of 2016, four-star Small Forward (and Minnetonka's own) Amir Coffey (son of Gophers great Richard, BTW). Pitino gets next year, without a doubt. Now, the suckitude being displayed at The Barn ensures that he won't get much beyond next year; he's lost that rope. But the earliest he gets fired is March 2017, and that will be only if Coffey, et al. can't engineer some improvement for next year's team. In the meantime, they have home dates versus Illinois and Purdue to get off the schnied.
By the way, the Gopher men's basketball team, the Wild and the Timberwolves played on both January 12 and January 20. And, as you might have guessed, all three teams lost on both dates. People have noticed how often the Mild and the Woofie Dogs have games on the same night. Well, that only amplifies local fans' misery by seeing their teams lose on the same night. Somebody please stop this next year.
#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1). Swept Michigan St. Maybe the players are defending their Head Coach from that quasi-hit piece from City Pages last week. Anyway, they beat a team that they should beat; if you haven't noticed, the B1G is separating like the whole conference has been spun in a centrifuge. I mean, just look at the press-time conference standings.
But (and I know I have totally backtracked on not looking at tournament prospects) as of right now they are on the outside looking in at the NCAA tourney. This week, Jayson Moy of USCHO.com says that the Gophers and Minnesota-Duluth are The Last Two Teams Out according to the PairWise Ratings, the metric that selects the at-large teams four the tournament. They may be rounding into form by, to be honest, getting into play in a weak conference, but they have more work to do. And that work is in Madison, Wisc., where they play two this weekend against a Wisconsin outfit in the dregs of the league, just like the Spartans.
#-3: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -1). I still think a win is an embarrassment given the current state of the program compared to where we have always known it to be. Yes, it is an upset. Yes, taking out the eighth-ranked team in the nation (Rutgers) is an accomplishment. But if this were the Gopher wrestling squad that we've all come to expect to dominate the league (well, except for Penn St. and Iowa) they would've crushed the Scarlets Knights, #8 ranking or no #8 ranking.
This time around, on Sunday, they barely squeaked past them. The score was 17-16. What it boiled down to was, of all things, the first match, at 197 lbs., where Gopher #4 Brett Pfarr Technically Fell Rutgers' Anthony Messner, giving the U. five points. That more than counteracted the Major Decision the Scarlet Knights' Nicholas Gravina racked up on the Gophers' Chris Pfarr (who I assume is Brett's brother -- I mean, the last name isn't "Smith") at 184 in the last match of the dual. Major Decisions are only four points, thus the one-point squeaker.
Believe it or not, the Gopher grapplers play their last home conference game of the season Sunday afternoon, against Purdue.
#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4). Wait ... what is that on the website schedule? Is that ... a green "W" next to a game they played? YAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They beat the Phoenix Suns on Sunday to end their losing streak at nine games. And they throttled them too, 117-87! Whodathunkit? Sure it was home, but come on, you get any win when you can, especially this team.
Oh, and on Wednesday in Dallas they took the Mavericks into Overtime before losing, 106-94. For these guys, yeah, I'll give them a moral "W" for that. Sure, they lost to Oklahoma City by 20 and New Orleans by 15, but whatever, they won!!! This week they visit Cleveland inbetween home dates against Memphis and the same Bastard Seattle SuperSonics.
#-5: Wild (Last Week: -3). With the possible exception of the Gopher men's hockey team, the Mild are the local club with any mass popularity that the fanbase can pin any hopes of postseason success on. Unfortunately, their six-game losing streak, punctuated with punchless losses to Nashville and Anaheim, have put this team in a tailspin. Thus, the team's 3-0 at Los Angeles last (Thursday) night (Darcy Kuemper had 32 saves) was a notable reprieve, even though it probably isn't the start of anything good.
And yet, they still are the same place they've been all season. Really all last season, too -- Wild Card 1. I'm not quite sure what's going on with that, but I guess that if they're still in a playoff spot despite a six-game losing streak, I won't complain.
Because of the U.S. Figure Skating Championships, they have been kicked out of the X. They will be completing a four-game road trip against San Jose Saturday, then come back home for the final game before the All-Star Break, Monday vs. Arizona.
#-6: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -4). Lost to Indiana and Michigan this week to extend their losing streak to eight games. So let's be clear about this: Richard Pitino isn't going anywhere. Not even to UNLV. First of all, why the hell he would jump from a BcS school to a mid-major program whose halcyon days died with Jerry Tarkanian (although, being in the Mountain West, they would be a big fish in a small pond)? And second of all, there is no way UNLV would take a guy who is head of a club that is 6-13 overall and winless in conference play.
Now, we might want him to leave, but this squad is taking its lumps this year because of the vaunted class Pitino's bringing in next year, led by the 32nd-best player in the Class of 2016, four-star Small Forward (and Minnetonka's own) Amir Coffey (son of Gophers great Richard, BTW). Pitino gets next year, without a doubt. Now, the suckitude being displayed at The Barn ensures that he won't get much beyond next year; he's lost that rope. But the earliest he gets fired is March 2017, and that will be only if Coffey, et al. can't engineer some improvement for next year's team. In the meantime, they have home dates versus Illinois and Purdue to get off the schnied.
By the way, the Gopher men's basketball team, the Wild and the Timberwolves played on both January 12 and January 20. And, as you might have guessed, all three teams lost on both dates. People have noticed how often the Mild and the Woofie Dogs have games on the same night. Well, that only amplifies local fans' misery by seeing their teams lose on the same night. Somebody please stop this next year.
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Addendum To: Where The Hell Is That Haircut Coupon?
Oh ... I found it. In fact, I found it hours after I blogged about it.
I went to sleep in my car for lunch, and while looking around the back of my parents' minivan, I saw the coupon just lying on the floorbed. Turns out that I had the "forethought" of throwing it in the car in case I spontaneously decided after work one random day that I wanted to get my hair cut. I wanted it where I could use it. I just forgot that I had the "forethought" to take it with me.
So on that Thursday I got a haircut for nine bucks (plus three bucks tip) and now I can go to sleep without having to wait a couple hours for my hair to dry. Sweet.
I went to sleep in my car for lunch, and while looking around the back of my parents' minivan, I saw the coupon just lying on the floorbed. Turns out that I had the "forethought" of throwing it in the car in case I spontaneously decided after work one random day that I wanted to get my hair cut. I wanted it where I could use it. I just forgot that I had the "forethought" to take it with me.
So on that Thursday I got a haircut for nine bucks (plus three bucks tip) and now I can go to sleep without having to wait a couple hours for my hair to dry. Sweet.
Almost Flooded The Basement
My God, I still can't get over what almost happened last night.
So the washing machine is back on the fritz. I think. I decided that the washer was strong enough to take in this huge load of laundry that needed to be washed cold. Didn't work. When I checked it out the load was still in standing water. I think there was a "uL" code on the display, meaning the load was uneven.
Didn't think too much of it to rearrange the clothes so that it seemed level on all sides and put the washing machine on the quick rinse-and-spin cycle. I assume the detergent is all used up, so it's beyond the wash cycle. Just need it to drain the tub of water and to spin the excess water out of the clothes. So I did that and forgot about it. Oh, by the way, this was Sunday, I think.
When I next checked it, the next day, the water was all gone, but when I touched the clothes it was obvious it did not go through the spin cycle. And there was no way I could dry clothes that were this waterlogged. So after giving it a day to "dry out" (as much as waterlogged clothes could dry out inside a closed washer) I did the rinse-and-spin cycle again yesterday/Tuesday (after watching The Hateful Eight), this time with only half the clothes because I thought that a source of the recurring problem was that there simply were too many clothes. And I then went upstairs to finish the blog post previous to this one.
The cycle was supposed to run for 15 and 20 minutes. I got caught up in writing and looking at porn. An hour passed, and I then I heard something from the basement. There shouldn't be any sound coming from downstairs. So I went downstairs.
---
I guess this is where I have to talk about another problem, if I haven't spoken about it before. The drain leading from what I think is called the standpipe outside the house to the septic tank is clogged. Somewhere. I don't know where, but it's bad enough that for every wash, after the machine shoots out the used water, it backs up. In the laundry room there is a drain, and the water seeps up through this drain and floods the bottom floor. (The washer, dryer and sink are a step up from this bottom floor, which I think is customary in all laundry rooms.) The longer the cycle of wash, the more water that ends up flooding up the floor, so the time it takes for the water to get around or through the clog, wherever that is, varies. Eventually it all goes back down the drain, and eventually the floor dries, so I don't worry about it too much.
Not this time, though. I came back down to see water ... well, not everywhere, but in as many places as I've seen it. There was so much water coming up from the emergency drain that there were a couple inches of it. We have a small plastic detergent bucket we use for the trash, where we throw the lint from the dryer's lint trap. It floated halfway down the floor. It was that deep.
There's more. The sink is partitioned in two, and both wells are pretty deep. The water that was chugging out of the washing machine through the hose (I know that the hose is usually shoved into a standpipe, but we are so ghetto that we just point the hose running out of the washer into one of the sink's wells) was filling up the well of the sink it was pointed into -- and it was rising because the washing machine was still churning out water.
When I looked at the display on the washer, it was flashing a different code this time -- "sd," which, in the instruction manual, stands for "suds detection" ... or something. That can happen when you put in too much detergent -- which I remember doing, because I had such a huge load and I figured that I needed more detergent. That "sd" code comes up when the washer detects that too much detergent generates too many suds. What I didn't realize until I read up on it on the Internet (though I don't know this for sure) is that when that happens, it automatically goes into yet another rinse-and-spin cycle in the hopes of losing all those suds. Once (or if) it does, then it can go through the entire cycle and be done, leaving me with relatively dry clothes to put into the dryer. Guess here is that it kept repeating that rinse-and-spin cycle because it still had way too many suds. That's why there was so much water (although it didn't really help that the strainer for that well was clogged up with lint, but if it wasn't, it probably would've wound up on the floor).
By the way, the well on the other half of the sink was filling with water too. But the hose wasn't pointed into that side. I still can't explain it, but it's possible that the clog is so bad that it backed up both sink drains.
---
At this point I was in a panic. Water was everywhere, and the fucking washing machine still was giving me more. I grabbed a bucket and pointed the hose into it, but that was filling up fast. I then tried turning off the washing machine so it would abort the rinse-and-spin cycle abruptly. But the damn machine wouldn't turn itself off! It was like HAL in 2001, for God's sake!! But after frantically pushing every button on the display, it finally turned off. It did so after what seemed like it ejaculated a good amount of water, so it might be programmed to not turn itself off until it emptied itself (of water.) Just in case it does have a mind of its own, I unplugged it.
That brings me to Wednesday night. First, I dumped the load in the washing machine and threw it in the dryer because I had nowhere else to put it. (By the way, those clothes were still soaking wet. It didn't reach the spin phase at all in that hour I left that damn machine alone.) There was a possibility the "sd" popped up because there was something wrong with the spinning tub, but it looked like everything is in its place. I also popped open the impeller cap (the thing in the middle) because sometimes come up due to excess lint, but the bolt inside the impeller was pristine. So either there was still too much detergent in these clothes or the washing machine is broken. I'll figure out how to get it to give me the diagnostic codes today (Thursday).
But that is only one part of the problem. What's wrong with getting the clothes properly washed is separate from the inevitable flooding of the floor. I have two problems to deal with. And I tried to tackle the clog by first calling Father and asking for his help, then taking this snake he has and jamming it down the emergency drain. Man, I have no idea if I'm doing it right. I wasn't able to shove that snake down far because I don't know where the drain drains to; it's just one dark ... hole down there. And when I get the motor running, all it did was throw dirty water all over the laundry room. But I did dig up a hell of a lot of lint, and the standing water level did sink after I yanked the snake out of there.
Only a little, however. I can look and still see a level of water indicating that there is a back-up down there somewhere. Everytime I whipped the snake around it got lower, but normally there wouldn't be any standing water I could see. So I'm at a loss. There might be a clog down there so bad that I might need to call someone. Or I just have to put a little more elbow grease into clearing whatever's clogging. All I'm doing is praying that come tomorrow night I look down there and all the water has drained out. Fat chance, probably.
So tonight (after I eat at Hooters) I am going to do the following: 1) Plug the washing machine back in; 2) follow the Internet's instructions on how to run a diagnostic test; 3) troubleshoot depending on what codes it gives me; 4) put half of my soaked clothes back into the washing machine; 5) put it through yet another damn rinse-and-spin cycle and 6) watch the fucking thing like a hawk. Because I can't have the goddamn room full of water again.
And that was my mistake before. I went 40 minutes beyond what I should have before I checked the washer. If I dawdled even further, the washing machine might have been on a never-ending rinse cycle and water literally could have been everywhere. I am still scared that if I was even lazier than I was, I could have done some severe damage to my house. And even now I'm anxious that there might be something seriously wrong, with either the sewer drain or the washing machine, or both.
So the washing machine is back on the fritz. I think. I decided that the washer was strong enough to take in this huge load of laundry that needed to be washed cold. Didn't work. When I checked it out the load was still in standing water. I think there was a "uL" code on the display, meaning the load was uneven.
Didn't think too much of it to rearrange the clothes so that it seemed level on all sides and put the washing machine on the quick rinse-and-spin cycle. I assume the detergent is all used up, so it's beyond the wash cycle. Just need it to drain the tub of water and to spin the excess water out of the clothes. So I did that and forgot about it. Oh, by the way, this was Sunday, I think.
When I next checked it, the next day, the water was all gone, but when I touched the clothes it was obvious it did not go through the spin cycle. And there was no way I could dry clothes that were this waterlogged. So after giving it a day to "dry out" (as much as waterlogged clothes could dry out inside a closed washer) I did the rinse-and-spin cycle again yesterday/Tuesday (after watching The Hateful Eight), this time with only half the clothes because I thought that a source of the recurring problem was that there simply were too many clothes. And I then went upstairs to finish the blog post previous to this one.
The cycle was supposed to run for 15 and 20 minutes. I got caught up in writing and looking at porn. An hour passed, and I then I heard something from the basement. There shouldn't be any sound coming from downstairs. So I went downstairs.
---
I guess this is where I have to talk about another problem, if I haven't spoken about it before. The drain leading from what I think is called the standpipe outside the house to the septic tank is clogged. Somewhere. I don't know where, but it's bad enough that for every wash, after the machine shoots out the used water, it backs up. In the laundry room there is a drain, and the water seeps up through this drain and floods the bottom floor. (The washer, dryer and sink are a step up from this bottom floor, which I think is customary in all laundry rooms.) The longer the cycle of wash, the more water that ends up flooding up the floor, so the time it takes for the water to get around or through the clog, wherever that is, varies. Eventually it all goes back down the drain, and eventually the floor dries, so I don't worry about it too much.
Not this time, though. I came back down to see water ... well, not everywhere, but in as many places as I've seen it. There was so much water coming up from the emergency drain that there were a couple inches of it. We have a small plastic detergent bucket we use for the trash, where we throw the lint from the dryer's lint trap. It floated halfway down the floor. It was that deep.
There's more. The sink is partitioned in two, and both wells are pretty deep. The water that was chugging out of the washing machine through the hose (I know that the hose is usually shoved into a standpipe, but we are so ghetto that we just point the hose running out of the washer into one of the sink's wells) was filling up the well of the sink it was pointed into -- and it was rising because the washing machine was still churning out water.
When I looked at the display on the washer, it was flashing a different code this time -- "sd," which, in the instruction manual, stands for "suds detection" ... or something. That can happen when you put in too much detergent -- which I remember doing, because I had such a huge load and I figured that I needed more detergent. That "sd" code comes up when the washer detects that too much detergent generates too many suds. What I didn't realize until I read up on it on the Internet (though I don't know this for sure) is that when that happens, it automatically goes into yet another rinse-and-spin cycle in the hopes of losing all those suds. Once (or if) it does, then it can go through the entire cycle and be done, leaving me with relatively dry clothes to put into the dryer. Guess here is that it kept repeating that rinse-and-spin cycle because it still had way too many suds. That's why there was so much water (although it didn't really help that the strainer for that well was clogged up with lint, but if it wasn't, it probably would've wound up on the floor).
By the way, the well on the other half of the sink was filling with water too. But the hose wasn't pointed into that side. I still can't explain it, but it's possible that the clog is so bad that it backed up both sink drains.
---
At this point I was in a panic. Water was everywhere, and the fucking washing machine still was giving me more. I grabbed a bucket and pointed the hose into it, but that was filling up fast. I then tried turning off the washing machine so it would abort the rinse-and-spin cycle abruptly. But the damn machine wouldn't turn itself off! It was like HAL in 2001, for God's sake!! But after frantically pushing every button on the display, it finally turned off. It did so after what seemed like it ejaculated a good amount of water, so it might be programmed to not turn itself off until it emptied itself (of water.) Just in case it does have a mind of its own, I unplugged it.
That brings me to Wednesday night. First, I dumped the load in the washing machine and threw it in the dryer because I had nowhere else to put it. (By the way, those clothes were still soaking wet. It didn't reach the spin phase at all in that hour I left that damn machine alone.) There was a possibility the "sd" popped up because there was something wrong with the spinning tub, but it looked like everything is in its place. I also popped open the impeller cap (the thing in the middle) because sometimes come up due to excess lint, but the bolt inside the impeller was pristine. So either there was still too much detergent in these clothes or the washing machine is broken. I'll figure out how to get it to give me the diagnostic codes today (Thursday).
But that is only one part of the problem. What's wrong with getting the clothes properly washed is separate from the inevitable flooding of the floor. I have two problems to deal with. And I tried to tackle the clog by first calling Father and asking for his help, then taking this snake he has and jamming it down the emergency drain. Man, I have no idea if I'm doing it right. I wasn't able to shove that snake down far because I don't know where the drain drains to; it's just one dark ... hole down there. And when I get the motor running, all it did was throw dirty water all over the laundry room. But I did dig up a hell of a lot of lint, and the standing water level did sink after I yanked the snake out of there.
Only a little, however. I can look and still see a level of water indicating that there is a back-up down there somewhere. Everytime I whipped the snake around it got lower, but normally there wouldn't be any standing water I could see. So I'm at a loss. There might be a clog down there so bad that I might need to call someone. Or I just have to put a little more elbow grease into clearing whatever's clogging. All I'm doing is praying that come tomorrow night I look down there and all the water has drained out. Fat chance, probably.
So tonight (after I eat at Hooters) I am going to do the following: 1) Plug the washing machine back in; 2) follow the Internet's instructions on how to run a diagnostic test; 3) troubleshoot depending on what codes it gives me; 4) put half of my soaked clothes back into the washing machine; 5) put it through yet another damn rinse-and-spin cycle and 6) watch the fucking thing like a hawk. Because I can't have the goddamn room full of water again.
And that was my mistake before. I went 40 minutes beyond what I should have before I checked the washer. If I dawdled even further, the washing machine might have been on a never-ending rinse cycle and water literally could have been everywhere. I am still scared that if I was even lazier than I was, I could have done some severe damage to my house. And even now I'm anxious that there might be something seriously wrong, with either the sewer drain or the washing machine, or both.
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Addendum To: Who Do I Like For The College Football Playoff Championship Game?
So I was wrong about Alabama distancing itself away from Clemson. Hell of a game (justified me going out and eating my free pizza while watching the game, thank goodness), and the Crimson Tide pushed ahead with that onside kick/defensive stand yielding a Field Goal/kickoff return for a Touchdown. But the Tigers pulled a damn backdoor cover to get within the spread. So if I were in Vegas, I would have lost.
Good thing, then, that I wasn't in Las Vegas. Also, this is further confirmation that, although it was fun doing it on Wailing And Failing, it probably was a good thing that I don't do Anti-Picks anymore.
Good thing, then, that I wasn't in Las Vegas. Also, this is further confirmation that, although it was fun doing it on Wailing And Failing, it probably was a good thing that I don't do Anti-Picks anymore.
Penthouse Magazine, No More? Well, I Can See That
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Tuesday, January 19, 2016
Is That Supposed To Happen?
This (Tuesday) morning was the last of four, I think, mornings where the air temperature was below zero. Whenever I started my car, not only have I seen exhaust coming out of the exhaust pipe, of course, but I've also seen smoke coming out from the wells of both front tires, especially the driver's-side one. And it's billowing out of there, like there's something wrong with the car.
I could look up what's going on, but I'd rather not deal with problems, especially if the minivan still drives, and it does. But that is really weird. The only explanation I have is that the smoke could be the result of the dye test, where the mechanic (when I brought the car in for an oil change) had to degrease the engine, and that ... whatever he used to degrease it vaporizes upon starting the engine, and I'd especially see it on cold mornings. That is normal, and it will burn off over time. That's what the mechanic told me. Of course, he told me this when he did the dye test, which was about two months ago.
So what is it now? Don't know, and frankly, don't want to know. All I hope is that with the modest rise in temps, I won't see the smoke that I assume should be billowing out of the back of my car instead billowing out the front of my car. Of course, just because I don't see smoke doesn't mean there's something that's coming out of there that shouldn't. But you know me; ignorance is bliss.
I could look up what's going on, but I'd rather not deal with problems, especially if the minivan still drives, and it does. But that is really weird. The only explanation I have is that the smoke could be the result of the dye test, where the mechanic (when I brought the car in for an oil change) had to degrease the engine, and that ... whatever he used to degrease it vaporizes upon starting the engine, and I'd especially see it on cold mornings. That is normal, and it will burn off over time. That's what the mechanic told me. Of course, he told me this when he did the dye test, which was about two months ago.
So what is it now? Don't know, and frankly, don't want to know. All I hope is that with the modest rise in temps, I won't see the smoke that I assume should be billowing out of the back of my car instead billowing out the front of my car. Of course, just because I don't see smoke doesn't mean there's something that's coming out of there that shouldn't. But you know me; ignorance is bliss.
Monday, January 18, 2016
That Much?!
Just went down to the cafeteria because I felt hungry. Had the entree, which was pasta shells stuffed with, like, ricotta cheese or something, with meatballs. It was great, and it hit the spot, but I had to pay, get this, $7.23. For such a small box? At 49 cents an ounce? I had to ask the cashier if she got it right. I guess she did.
I've noticed that I've been getting more food from the cafeteria lately. I've been complaining here about eating too much. And although I don't know if I ate too much yesterday -- a Bloody Mary, beans and toast and a sandwich for breakfast, McDonald's for lunch, and I heated up a pizza late in the night -- I could have gone without the pizza, I reckon. So how come I feel so hungry at work?
I don't know, but the fact that I just spent seven-and-a-half bucks on lunch may put a stop to it. Can't spend this much every day on food here. I took some time on Saturday to clip coupons, and one of them was for applesauce. When I took some cups from working Vikings games, I brought them here to eat. Tided me over just fine, and it was free. Maybe I should be doing that again.
I've noticed that I've been getting more food from the cafeteria lately. I've been complaining here about eating too much. And although I don't know if I ate too much yesterday -- a Bloody Mary, beans and toast and a sandwich for breakfast, McDonald's for lunch, and I heated up a pizza late in the night -- I could have gone without the pizza, I reckon. So how come I feel so hungry at work?
I don't know, but the fact that I just spent seven-and-a-half bucks on lunch may put a stop to it. Can't spend this much every day on food here. I took some time on Saturday to clip coupons, and one of them was for applesauce. When I took some cups from working Vikings games, I brought them here to eat. Tided me over just fine, and it was free. Maybe I should be doing that again.
Sunday, January 17, 2016
This Cold And This Cough Is Really Bothering Me
I know it's happened before, but for the past several mornings (though not this morning, at least I don't think) I have woken up not by the alarm, but by me coughing up all the snot that I've generated all through the night. I have so much phlegm that for most of these mornings I have been seized by a series of extended coughing fits. It feels like my body is trying to cough up all the snot that collected down my throat, and sometimes it takes, no joke, up until noon before I'm done with these coughing fits. I don't remember ever having a cold this bad that I have to do this, but I remember having bad colds.
I'm fixated on this because I don't remember, specifically, any time where I am stymied by a cough this bad for so long. In fact, if I get woken up because I have to cough up my spit, I wonder if there have been other times throughout the night where I've woken up because of the phlegm in my throat. Coughing in order to clear my throat means that if I don't clear my throat, I can't breathe. So I am guessing I have woken up because my body is telling my brain and motor muscles, "Oh no, I can't breathe." But what happens if I don't wake up? What happens if I generate so much crap that I choke myself to death? I've heard horror stories of people choking to death on their own vomit, but that's because that guy drank so much that he passed out and deadened his wakening instincts, or, something like that. That can't happen to me ... can it?
Man, I need this cold to go away. Our current cold snap -- where I went out to Brit's Pub when it was -13 with a windchill of -35 at 7:30 this morning in order to watch soccer, and where it's not supposed to rise above 0 all day today -- is not helping.
I'm fixated on this because I don't remember, specifically, any time where I am stymied by a cough this bad for so long. In fact, if I get woken up because I have to cough up my spit, I wonder if there have been other times throughout the night where I've woken up because of the phlegm in my throat. Coughing in order to clear my throat means that if I don't clear my throat, I can't breathe. So I am guessing I have woken up because my body is telling my brain and motor muscles, "Oh no, I can't breathe." But what happens if I don't wake up? What happens if I generate so much crap that I choke myself to death? I've heard horror stories of people choking to death on their own vomit, but that's because that guy drank so much that he passed out and deadened his wakening instincts, or, something like that. That can't happen to me ... can it?
Man, I need this cold to go away. Our current cold snap -- where I went out to Brit's Pub when it was -13 with a windchill of -35 at 7:30 this morning in order to watch soccer, and where it's not supposed to rise above 0 all day today -- is not helping.
Saturday, January 16, 2016
Expenses Without Receipts
Goddamn, I promise myself I would do these more often, and now I see it's been six weeks since I've done the last one. Jesus fucking Christ. ...
Starting from Friday, January 15:
Starting from Friday, January 15:
- Although I probably could have gone without it, I went downstairs to get some lunch at work. Settled on the serve-yourself nachos, in an area of the commissary I hadn't eaten yet. I think I went overboard filling up my compostable box because it weighed out to, I think: $6.31.
- In the evening I attended a party which, for a brief hour or so, I thought was cancelled. So said one of the strippers who was supposed to be working it. But when I said "See ya later!" to another of the strippers, she told me the party was on. Weird. Cover, fucking *e***** and getting a semenless handjob from a *e**** came out to a total of:
$210(ETA on 12:47 p.m. on January 16 that I need to add two more dollars because I tipped one of the girls there after she demanding dollar bills and flashed her boobs in order to receive them) $212. - I then finished up at Glam Doll. A Night Moves and pour-over coffee comes out to just about eight bucks. Shit, I could go to A Baker's Wife and get 16 donuts (not fancy at all, but just as good) for the same price. And since I wanted to finish off this EWR for once and for all, I got myself another donut so I could stay. All told, with tip: $9.75.
- On Thursday the 14th I had pizza at work: $3.10.
- On Wednesday, January 13 I had a full lunch at work -- turkey and gravy with wild rice stuffing. You know, I'm eating a lot at work lately: $5.13.
- Then on Monday the 11th I had a breakfast burrito wrap made for me at work. This was the last time I used this gift card given to me by my supervisor. I had mere cents left on it, so I paid for the difference, which was: $4.71.
- On Saturday the 9th, before the Wild Card games began, I went to the Minneapolis Institute of Art (I cannot and will not call it "Mia") for the last weekend of the Delacroix. I hope he was the genius and touchstone the exhibition says he is. When I took art history he was a noted painter, but not an inspiration for modern art. Anyway, I wanted to check my coat because I didn't want to lug it around for three hours. They asked for a donation and I gave it: $1.
- Friday, January 8: Tucci Benucch is one of the few places left at the Mall of America that has been where it was, without expanding or contracting, since Day One. And after work for Happy Hour was the very first time I ate there. Small bar; it could use an expansion. So glad they had a Happy Hour menu. With tip it came out to: $10.25.
- There was a party that evening. Don't get me started on the kid that came in the middle of the party. Finally showed my pee-pee to ****e*; she's a good girl, but she patted it. Then I got a second VIP with *a***, who has seen it and whacked it before but didn't jerk me to completion until this night. I brought enough money to get clean dances from the the other two. With tip I spent the most I have ever spent at a house party: $225.
- After that I cooled my heels at Glam Doll. One donut, coffee, tip: $6.
- Wednesday the 6th -- stopped off at Carbone's after work for Happy Hour. Plus tip it equalled: $10.25.
- On Monday the 4th I donated to this box full of candy bars. One of the workers there is trying to raise money for her daughter to take ... dance classes somewhere? I might have remembered it wrong: $1.
- Went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) because I promised my new ATF, *e***** that I would see her. At the end I decided to be Santa and get one lap dance from the three girls that were working that night. I wanted to do that on New Year's Night, but when I got there, I saw that the place was closed. In hindsight, I should've known all along that it would be closed on January 1. Oh, well. One of the girls turned out to be a five-dollar bitch, and when I tipped her only two bucks at the rail she promised me (after I asked for an LD, of course) that I would "make it up to her" after our lapper. OK; she got an extra five dollars from me beyond the regular $20 ... but that ensures me that I never get a dance from her ever again. Hey, the other two girls there accepted $2 cheerfully. Of course, I've given them money before to touch my dick. Plus coffee: $74.75.
- ETA at 12:50 p.m. on January 16 that I deposited back into my checking account money I took from the ATM. Thought I was going to a stripper party but I did not, and it didn't make any sense to lug around cash that I wasn't going to use anytime soon. I added a buck because I thought I would need to take out a dollar to deposit to my alumni club's account, but I won't have to do that until next month. Oh, well: $81.
- Saturday, January 2 ... I had to dig into the alumni club cashbox in order to pay myself back, an Infusion of: $26.50.
- I needed that money in my wallet because I was going to the Mall of America to people-watch at Hooters in what was the very last holiday weekend. Also to see if the waitress who was flirting with me was working then -- and she was! And she served me! She's cute, she really is, and so I tried to impress her by eating two rounds of food, wings followed by fries. I don't think she gives a shit, but at least I stayed a couple hours to see her and her cute butt run around in those signature orange shorts! With tip: $29.
- New Year's Day (aside: As of press time I haven't heard "New Year's Day" by U2 yet in 2016.): Went out to see the "semifinals" of the Mariucci Classic, where Harvard pounded Ferris St. and then the Gophers squeaked out a 3-2 win over UConn. Didn't get a scalped ticket because the scalpers didn't have a single to spare, but there were many tickets available at face value. Got the General Standing Room ticket for $15 even though there was a Student Standing Room ticket for $10, but I didn't want to risk whipping out my now-20-year-old student ID and getting interrogated. Just not that day. Plus hot dog, Coke and program: $26.75.
- Actually found a table at Caffetto after the game. Probably less crowded because it was the first of the year. Hot chocolate, tiramisu and tip and it comes out to: $6.75.
- Hurtling back to Wednesday the 30th, where I caved into what may have been phantom hunger pangs and opted for the turkey at work: $5.30.
- Then I had ... another candy bar donation? (sigh) Sure, I guess I did ...: $1.
- I then had to go downtown for my alma mater's bowl game, which kicked off at 9:30, on a weeknight. And we lost, too. Charged my food, but I needed to use my own money for the 50/50 Raffle because I forgot the key to the cashbox I did bring with me at home. Giving out change, a total of: $26.50.
- Back to Wednesday, December 23 -- do I really have receipts for everything in the previous week?! Hope so. Anyway, I felt like not going to MOA for once to wait out the traffic. Sometimes the onramp from 77N to Crosstown West gets so backed up that I just stay on 77 to when it becomes Cedar. The past few times I've used it I've seen this local pizza chain called Carbone's. I like pizza, so on this day, even though I was seriously ill, I stopped in to eat. Discovered that they had a Happy Hour -- sweet. Two slices of pizza and a pint of beer before 6, plus tip, brought the total to: $10.
- Went out to Caffetto that night. Actually found a spot. Coffee plus tip only: $2.
- Monday the 21st ... had chili at work: $2.56
- Went to this new place called Freshii. One of those places that are going hardcore at "eating better." I know I should eat better, but damn, does it have to be so expensive? Got a great-tasting salad and I added turkey, and it came out, with tip, to: $11.17.
- Went to Caffetto for coffee that night (I know I have been complaining about not finding a spot here; what can I say, I had a couple good days over the holidays). First I found a dime there, an Infusion of: 10 cents.
- I got a slice of pecan pie alongside the coffee. With tip: $6.
- Afterwards went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) to placate *e*****, who has been extorting me into getting LDs from her. Man, a girl willingly impales herself on you one time and you have to pay her back for an eternity. Plus tips and coffee: $31.75.
- On Sunday the 20th I found a dime while working the Vikings game. An Infusion of: 10 cents.
- After the game I stopped back at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition), where I celebrated a win by getting a lapper from Carissa, whom I hadn't seen in a while. With tips and coffee: $29.75.
- Back on Saturday the 19th I went to Brit's Pub to watch EPL. Ran into a co-worker there who was enjoying soccer with his son. Felt really bad that I didn't remember his name. Oh, Brit's Pub changed its menu, I think, so that the bloody mary is no longer on special. Shit, I bought one to go with my sandwich anyway. With tip: $23.
- Stopped after Brit's to the place where our club watches our alma mater's games. I wanted to let them know the date of our bowl game. And I had lunch and a Coke too. With tip: $9.75.
- This was The Last Saturday before Christmas, which traditionally is the busiest shopping day of the holiday season. But to be honest, I thought there were more people overnight Black Friday. Anyhoo, I got into the spirit of the season by buying hot chocolate at Godiva. Real good chocolate makes real good hot chocolate, but it was an expensive: $4.29.
- Friday, December 18. Made a pit stop at MOA, so I donated to the Salvation Army: $1.
- Went to this party at a new place, hosted by the girl whom I gave a ride home to in the middle of the night. She said she was going to play with my balls, and I thought going to her party would be the perfect time for her to make good on her offer. But she's a "nice girl." Well, fuck that. Well, not really; she remembered that she said she owed me a free dance, so I got a two-for-one from her. Whatever. Got a dance ($20, clean) from the three other strippers working. Plus cover and it equalled: $95.
- Thursday the 17th ... was so hungry in the morning that I went down to the cafeteria at work and bought a sausage biscuit sandwich: $3.10.
- And then I was still hungry, so for lunch I went back down and got myself some chili. You know, I should say this: I used to hate chili because of the beans and beans make you fart. But now I love it. It doesn't take a whole lot of it to fill you up. And those beans I've come to learn is a cheap way to get some well-needed protein. I love chili now: $2.56.
- Wednesday, December 16 -- I hear that Greek yogurt is much better for you than your run-of-the-mill yogurt. Why is that? Is it because it's thicker? I read in Time that you should put much more fiber in your diet. So I bought some this day at work: $1.92.
- Went to the Megamall after work ... dropped some money in the Salvation Army kettle: $1.
- Cooled my heels at this new place called Zio, where I got some Happy Hour red wine and flatbread. Hey, isn't flatbread just pizza? With tip: $15.15.
- This was the night I carved out time to look for gifts for my niece. Decided to settle on a few of Sesame Street-related books at Barnes & Noble, for two reasons. One, I learned a lot from Sesame Street, so I think I should pass on the tradition to the next generation. And two, B&N was the only place at MOA where I could get these books gift-wrapped. I suck at gift-wrapping, so I was more than willing to let volunteers stationed at the bookstore -- this day it was manned by a sorority from St. Catherine's University -- do it for me. I don't think the young woman who did my present did it well, but she is a lot better than me. So I didn't mind making a donation (not a fee, a donation) to them in the amount of: $5.
- On Tuesday the 15th I had, um ... I wrote down "breakfast" at work. My recollection was that one morning I piled sausage and bacon and home fries (and maybe a breakfast sandwich) into a container. Total: $5.29.
- That night I saw Creed just to see what the hype was all about. My God, it was a good movie. I didn't think there was any more blood to be pull from the Rocky story, but not only is there, the entire franchise truly has been rejuvenated by this movie. Everything was great about it. The camerawork, for one thing, is excellent. There are two tracking shots showing Creed/Donnie Johnson going from his dressing room into the ring, and they're absolutely riveting. (Although I am a sucker for tracking shots.) What's more remarkable is one fight that looks like it was filmed on a single take from the vantage point of the ref or someone right next to the two fighters. I don't know how they did that, but it was so damn awesome. Oh, and everybody's right about Sylvester Stallone. I haven't seen him as charismatic, as personable, and as human as he is as the grizzled, aged veteran. I'm surprised it's good, but it's an A. Ticket, popcorn, pop: $10.44.
- Saturday the 12th was the time I met my two friends for our annual visit to the British Advertising Awards/Arrows. Before I was able to park at the ice rink several blocks away for free. Now, ever since they remodeled it, I have the feeling that they are patrolling a lot more, so I can't just park there and walk over to the Walker or else they'll have it towed. And the streets in the neighborhood further down the street had no parking. So I bit the bullet and paid for it, ugh: $5.
- You know what? I remember getting a before-show drink, and I think I paid cash for it, but I have faintest idea how much it cost. I'm just going to pull an amount out of my ass and put it here: $8.
- After the show and dinner I stopped by My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) for tips, coffee and a dance with *a***. She put my glasses on her face during our dance, and she has never looked hotter. Total: $31.75.
- Friday, December 11 ... had a late night at Glam Doll. Should do this more often. With tip: $8.
- On Thursday the 10th I got chili at work: $2.56.
- Tuesday the 8th, same thing: $2.56.
- And then I went to the Megamall, which meant I passed by the Salvation Army kettle, so I dropped in: 25 cents.
- There was a party I attended later that night. It's in the same apartment where *a*** lives. Her half-sister, *e***, was there, and I got the VIP treatment from her. I'll say this: Although I'll never turn down a blowjob, she's better at giving head than *a*** is. Unfortunately she wanted to extract more money from me for sucking on my pee-pee. I told her I wanted to save some money for Roche, who was the other of the three strippers working that party, and one who used to work at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition) a long time ago. Sadly she does not suck dick, or do anything remotely dirty. With cover: $170.
- Monday, December 7: *e***** beckoned me out to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) and like a puppy I went out. She's killing me! Got a dance with her; with tips and coffee it came out to: $36.
- Afterwards I went to White Castle, a place whose food will give me the shits for the next 24 hours, but in a good way. Don't know why I went there on a school night, but I had a coupon and that night was the best night for me to use it. Total: $5.33.
- On Sunday the 6th I think I stopped by My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) after the Vikings game. Tips, coffee and an LD with Carissa, who I had not seen in months and was afraid quit the bar if not The Life. Comes to: $34.
- Friday, December 4: Had chili at work: $2.56.
- Stopped off at MOA ... Salvation Army: 25 cents.
- I think I was hungry enough to get a cupcake at Cupcake. Their treats are wonderful, but they have such scant crowds I wonder how they stay in business. With tip: $4.75.
- Went to a party afterward. Got down with ***i*, finally. She isn't the prettiest girl working, but that's kind of an indication that she likes to get down, if you know what I mean. Surprisingly, though, she doesn't do as much as I thought she would, also if you know what I mean. Also got a clean dance out in the living room from *a***. With cover: $135.
- Decompressed afterward at Glam Doll. Plus tip: $8.50.
- On Wednesday the 2nd I stopped by the Mall of America, so I dropped a quarter off at the Salvation Army kettle: 25 cents.
- Tuesday, December 1 -- watched Spectre. I actually liked this movie (especially the massive tracking shot that opens it), but then I read all these pieces about how it makes absolutely no damn sense ... and now that I think about it, I have to like it less. Ticket, popcorn, pop: $10.44.
- Monday, November 30 ... my God, this EWR stretches back to November ... I remember that there was a wet snowstorm on my drive down to Williams Arena to watch the Gopher men's basketball team play Clemson in the annual Big Ten-ACC Challenge. I bought this ticket at the Minnesota State Fair for ten bucks and I would be damned if I didn't go and watch the game for which I already paid. And the U. won, which, if the season is any indication, will be very rare this year. Hot dog, Coke, program totals: $11.75.
- Sunday the 29th was the very last time I could go to the local composting site to dump the leaves, most of which I was not able to rake up and bag. (The site was open till the 30th, but I was working on Monday and they close at sunset.) While I was tearing upon each bag and trudging through the piles of rotting leaves, I wondered if leaving the leaves on the yards would have been a better option. I had to pay: $5.
- Wednesday, November 25, aka Thanksgiving Eve, aka Dranksgiving, where I had cereal at work: $1.60.
- And then I had to buy coffee at work in the afternoon: $2.13.
- I was let go from work early to get started on the Thanksgiving holiday, so I high-tailed it back home so I could take the bags of leaves I raked that weekend and haul them off to the county compost site. Thank Buddha he let me go early so I could do that. Cost to dump: $5.
- And then I celebrated having the day off the next day by going to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version). Tips, coffee and a lapper from the hot Giselle: $29.75.
- Tuesday the 24th -- love The Martian. Love it. And you know what I most love about it? Its positivity. There were low points -- you have to in a movie -- but there was a lot of determination and hard work and derring-do. I felt good leaving the movie. Dare I say it -- this may be the most patriotic film I've seen ever. And I don't mind it at all. It may be my most favorite movie from last year. Ticket, popcorn and pop: $10.44.
- On Sunday, November 22 I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) after, I think, the Vikings game. Tips and coffee: $11.75.
- Friday the 20th ... breakfast at work: $2.36.
- That evening I went to Hooters for dinner. With tip: $20.
- That revved me up, so to speak, for this stripper party at this place I've never been to. Got a dance from ********a, but the real treat was this was the night where, for the first time, I got yanked by *e***** after months and months of teasing. We now have a great rapport. She may have replaced ***e* as my All-Time Favorite, in fact. With cover and the total comes out to: $135.
- To Thursday, November 19, where I had cereal at work ... cereal?: $1.60.
- Then I had pizza at work: $3.10.
- Wednesday the 18th ... salad at work: $2.27.
- Then I was invited by a different department on a different floor to participate in this Chili Cook-Off. I had already eaten, but hey, I can't pass up chili! Weird eating by myself in a conference room where other people were eating and talking, but hey, I was invited. I also voted on which chili was best, and to this day I don't know which pot won. I kind of want to know. A donation of: $5.
- That evening I went to see a co-worker of mine in a play. Very interesting to see a different side to people you think you know. The play was alright, but he was quite good. Ticket cost: $10.
Friday, January 15, 2016
The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey
#-1 (tie): Gopher wrestling and Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: Re-Entry! and -2, respectively). Wow. This may have been the shittiest week in the history of the survey. Every team lost at least once and looked awful doing it. Christ, this town absolutely sucks when it comes to sports.
Let's start with the grapplers, only because I have the least to talk about when it comes to them. This puzzling tailspin from one of the powers of the sport continues in the New Year, where they follow up an ass-kicking at the Sports Pavilion to Maryland, a program that has been so bad for so long that it seems counter-productive to field a varsity squad, with going to Nebraska and getting their assholes wrenched open enough for Husker shoes to fit in their, snugly. 24-10?!?! What the hell?! Home to Rutgers Sunday.
There is a more intriguing story surrounding the men's hockey program, and it comes via the media, albeit a skeezy part of it. The cover story in this week's City Pages (our local alternative weekly) is writer's Cory Zurowski examination of the shitty state of the Gopher men's hockey team, which split at Penn St. (a club that, may I remind you, is only three years old) this past weekend. Maybe I shouldn't say it's an examination. It's more of a hit piece.
Seems as though Zurowski has had a hard-on in taking down Head Coach Don Lucia. He had a similar piece about the arms race that has come to youth hockey in the state a year ago. And at the very end of one of his articles (which was a two- or three-part "investigation"), without any set-up or connection to anything he was writing about in his piece, he threw in a shot about Lucia giving out scholarships to young high school students, thus proving that he and the U. both profit from the recent move away from high school sports and towards travelling teams and specialized training schools. I am trying to find it on the website, but funny, it's not there. And now out comes this carpet-bombing of a program which, two years ago, was in the championship game.
Now, saying that, although this is a hit piece from a writer who clearly has an agenda, it's not a cheap shot. While he hammers on Lucia and the program, he isn't wrong. Nor has he completely relied on the easy "anonymous sources" crap that some journalists employ to undermine people in power. He has names -- former players, scouts, people in the business -- who aren't afraid to give their opinions on the precipitous decline of a club that should not be this bad. Now, as shitty as they are, I don't think Lucia should be immediately fired -- a notion that I know Zurowski relishes. But he's right that something is very fishy here, and I have to agree at least with the bloodlust that comes from the belief that a program so synonymous with the state of Minnesota should have a team that always contends.
I wonder if there's going to be any hubbub surrounding this article this weekend when the team hosts Michigan St.
#-3: Wild (Last Week: -3). Well, at least they beat The Team That Was Stolen From Us. Unfortunately they have lost the other two games this screening week, to New Jersey and Buffalo. Ironically, the win came on the road and the losses came at home. So it's back to the doldrums for this troubling, laconic team.
There has been a lot of buzz this past week that Defenseman Matt Dumba would be traded to Tampa Bay for former #3 overall pick Jonathan Drouin. It would be a shot in the arm in the middle of the season for the Mild for the second year in a row. Last season, Devyn Dubnyk instantly solved the squad's goaltending issues and righted their tailspin. Obviously, General Manager Chuck Fletcher think the team needs to do it again. Who knows if Drouin is the answer, and Dumba has been a rock in what has suddenly become an abundant position for the organization. But it's troubling that a team this supposedly talented needs a personnel shake-up in order for them to play better.
After hosting Winnipeg, they play seven of their next eight games on the road. The first four are on the road because the Xcel Energy Center is hositng the U.S. Figure Skating Championships. The first three road games fall in this screening week: Nashville, Anaheim and L.A.
#-4 (tie): Gopher women's basketball, Gopher men's basketball and Timberwolves. (Last Week, -1, -4 and -5, respectively). I ... I really don't know what to say. Partly because I'm at work, but partly it's also because these three teams -- hell, the entire fucking sport of basketball in Minnesota -- is absolute shit.
All three squads went a combined 0-8 for the week. The Timberpuppies have now lost eight in a row. The U. men are currently on a six-game losing streak and there's already speculation on whether this may be The Worst Team In Program History. The Gopher women ... well, Rachel Banham returning has been nothing but a waste. I would have put them all in -Infinity, but this week it has to be reserved for a different team.
I would preview the opponents these teams face this week, but who gives a rat's ass?
#-Infinity: Vikings (Last Week: 0). Three plays. The team lost this game, a game they were shutting out The Proverbial Team No One Wants To Play, the Seattle Seahawks, for three quarters, because of three fucking plays. I don't want to rehash all the gory details, but I want to feel sorry for myself one more time:
Let's start with the grapplers, only because I have the least to talk about when it comes to them. This puzzling tailspin from one of the powers of the sport continues in the New Year, where they follow up an ass-kicking at the Sports Pavilion to Maryland, a program that has been so bad for so long that it seems counter-productive to field a varsity squad, with going to Nebraska and getting their assholes wrenched open enough for Husker shoes to fit in their, snugly. 24-10?!?! What the hell?! Home to Rutgers Sunday.
There is a more intriguing story surrounding the men's hockey program, and it comes via the media, albeit a skeezy part of it. The cover story in this week's City Pages (our local alternative weekly) is writer's Cory Zurowski examination of the shitty state of the Gopher men's hockey team, which split at Penn St. (a club that, may I remind you, is only three years old) this past weekend. Maybe I shouldn't say it's an examination. It's more of a hit piece.
Seems as though Zurowski has had a hard-on in taking down Head Coach Don Lucia. He had a similar piece about the arms race that has come to youth hockey in the state a year ago. And at the very end of one of his articles (which was a two- or three-part "investigation"), without any set-up or connection to anything he was writing about in his piece, he threw in a shot about Lucia giving out scholarships to young high school students, thus proving that he and the U. both profit from the recent move away from high school sports and towards travelling teams and specialized training schools. I am trying to find it on the website, but funny, it's not there. And now out comes this carpet-bombing of a program which, two years ago, was in the championship game.
Now, saying that, although this is a hit piece from a writer who clearly has an agenda, it's not a cheap shot. While he hammers on Lucia and the program, he isn't wrong. Nor has he completely relied on the easy "anonymous sources" crap that some journalists employ to undermine people in power. He has names -- former players, scouts, people in the business -- who aren't afraid to give their opinions on the precipitous decline of a club that should not be this bad. Now, as shitty as they are, I don't think Lucia should be immediately fired -- a notion that I know Zurowski relishes. But he's right that something is very fishy here, and I have to agree at least with the bloodlust that comes from the belief that a program so synonymous with the state of Minnesota should have a team that always contends.
I wonder if there's going to be any hubbub surrounding this article this weekend when the team hosts Michigan St.
#-3: Wild (Last Week: -3). Well, at least they beat The Team That Was Stolen From Us. Unfortunately they have lost the other two games this screening week, to New Jersey and Buffalo. Ironically, the win came on the road and the losses came at home. So it's back to the doldrums for this troubling, laconic team.
There has been a lot of buzz this past week that Defenseman Matt Dumba would be traded to Tampa Bay for former #3 overall pick Jonathan Drouin. It would be a shot in the arm in the middle of the season for the Mild for the second year in a row. Last season, Devyn Dubnyk instantly solved the squad's goaltending issues and righted their tailspin. Obviously, General Manager Chuck Fletcher think the team needs to do it again. Who knows if Drouin is the answer, and Dumba has been a rock in what has suddenly become an abundant position for the organization. But it's troubling that a team this supposedly talented needs a personnel shake-up in order for them to play better.
After hosting Winnipeg, they play seven of their next eight games on the road. The first four are on the road because the Xcel Energy Center is hositng the U.S. Figure Skating Championships. The first three road games fall in this screening week: Nashville, Anaheim and L.A.
#-4 (tie): Gopher women's basketball, Gopher men's basketball and Timberwolves. (Last Week, -1, -4 and -5, respectively). I ... I really don't know what to say. Partly because I'm at work, but partly it's also because these three teams -- hell, the entire fucking sport of basketball in Minnesota -- is absolute shit.
All three squads went a combined 0-8 for the week. The Timberpuppies have now lost eight in a row. The U. men are currently on a six-game losing streak and there's already speculation on whether this may be The Worst Team In Program History. The Gopher women ... well, Rachel Banham returning has been nothing but a waste. I would have put them all in -Infinity, but this week it has to be reserved for a different team.
I would preview the opponents these teams face this week, but who gives a rat's ass?
#-Infinity: Vikings (Last Week: 0). Three plays. The team lost this game, a game they were shutting out The Proverbial Team No One Wants To Play, the Seattle Seahawks, for three quarters, because of three fucking plays. I don't want to rehash all the gory details, but I want to feel sorry for myself one more time:
- That goddamn fumble turned big play from QB Russell Wilson to Tyler Lockett. This was on First Down, so an explosive offense that was up to that point stymied still had the chance to make hay on this drive, which, at this point, was on the Viking 44. Wilson picked up the errant snap at the Seahawk 45. None of the several Vikes that pursued him got to him. One of those people pursuing him was Captain Munnerlyn -- the man defending Lockett. Wilson found him open in the middle of the field and threw the perfect pass to him at the Vikes' 4, which led to a Touchdown and Seattle's opening score. Technically it went 35 yards, but you should say that it was a 51-yard play. Fifty-one yards, all in one play, instead of pinning the 'Hawks back in their territory. Would it have prevented a score? You're never sure, but having a 2nd and 21 would have helped the Purple a lot.
- The Adrian Peterson Fumble on the ensuing drive. Remember that his first two years the only thing holding him back was his tendency to fumble. And he had corrected that ... only to start fumbling again in the 2013 season. As mad as Head Coach Mike Zimmer was about the third play, to me, he seemed extremely upset that The Supposed Best Running Back In The League would carry the ball so carelessly and allow Kam Chancellor to strip A.P. of the ball. In fact, if I'm right, Peterson won't be on the team next year. And that would be better because Jerrick McKinnon, an RB who can catch out of the backfield, appears to be a better fit in Offensive Coordinator Norv Turner's offense.
- The Blair Miss Project. I want to hate Blair Walsh for the rest of my life. But then the goddamn media had to step in and remind ourselves of our humanity by showing first-graders sending cheer-up messages to him. Walsh was so touched that he visited the school of these first-graders (which actually falls within my school district, even though the elementary school was made about a decade ago and so it wasn't around when I was growing up). Alright, I'll let him go; remember, he is the only Viking who scored in that 10-9 game. But he still shouldn't've missed a fucking 27-yard Field Goal.
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Ruined Dilly Bars
So I was eating the post-game meal after the Vikings game at what is called "the compound" when the liaison between me and the stadium, I think prompted by a request from a member of my crew, went from table to table and threw these boxes of Dairy Queen Dilly Bars for us. Now it's great to have free food, and I had plenty already (for example there laid out two kinds of soup, and I did my best to have a up of each), but damn, if I get free dessert, I'll take it.
Except ... well, it's dessert. I was in the middle of eating dinner when the Dilly Bars were being handed out, and I didn't want to interrupt what I was eating to skip to what traditionally was the end of a meal. On the other hand, there were only so many Dilly Bars being given away, and they were being scooped up by every free hand there. Ultimately, I let it go; I do like free dessert, but I wasn't going to sacrifice what I had prepared my taste buds for in order to eat it.
But then two of the other stats guys walk past me and hand over their Dilly Bars. "A treat for you!" one of them said. (Actually I don't remember what she said; I just made that up.) Great ... but when am I going to eat that? Well, I'll take it, but I decided that I would keep it and throw it into the freezer as soon as I get home. Helps that it was just below freezing outside.
I didn't get home for awhile; I had a walk to my car, then I wanted to go to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division). But, again, it was below freezing, so I thought the Dilly Bars would keep. After I got home and threw my bag (which included other food I took, such as apple juice and apples, as well as the Dilly Bars) in the refrigerator, I forgot it, either for the night or until the next day.
Wait a second ... the fridge? Dilly Bars need to go into the freezer. The refrigerator keeps food cool, but above freezing. I realized this out of the blue and I went, "Oh, shit!" and I raced to the fridge and rummaged through the bags ... only to see that the two plastic wrappings of the two dessert treats filled with this oozing white goo. Not only did the Dilly Bars melt, it appears as though I was careless and broke the chocolate casing of the bars, thus allowing the ice cream center to seep and through and enshroud the whole package.
It was ruined. The only thing I could do, then, was to finally put the Dilly Bars in the freezers, whereby the trail of ice cream will freeze. It'll be ungainly, but it won't be a mess where all the ice cream will just slide onto the plate. It worked: I opened up both packages and took bites of the solid ice cream, which ran up and down the wooden stick.
Should have remembered to throw the Dilly Bars in the freezer, though. Should have made sure not to break the Dilly Bars, either.
Except ... well, it's dessert. I was in the middle of eating dinner when the Dilly Bars were being handed out, and I didn't want to interrupt what I was eating to skip to what traditionally was the end of a meal. On the other hand, there were only so many Dilly Bars being given away, and they were being scooped up by every free hand there. Ultimately, I let it go; I do like free dessert, but I wasn't going to sacrifice what I had prepared my taste buds for in order to eat it.
But then two of the other stats guys walk past me and hand over their Dilly Bars. "A treat for you!" one of them said. (Actually I don't remember what she said; I just made that up.) Great ... but when am I going to eat that? Well, I'll take it, but I decided that I would keep it and throw it into the freezer as soon as I get home. Helps that it was just below freezing outside.
I didn't get home for awhile; I had a walk to my car, then I wanted to go to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division). But, again, it was below freezing, so I thought the Dilly Bars would keep. After I got home and threw my bag (which included other food I took, such as apple juice and apples, as well as the Dilly Bars) in the refrigerator, I forgot it, either for the night or until the next day.
Wait a second ... the fridge? Dilly Bars need to go into the freezer. The refrigerator keeps food cool, but above freezing. I realized this out of the blue and I went, "Oh, shit!" and I raced to the fridge and rummaged through the bags ... only to see that the two plastic wrappings of the two dessert treats filled with this oozing white goo. Not only did the Dilly Bars melt, it appears as though I was careless and broke the chocolate casing of the bars, thus allowing the ice cream center to seep and through and enshroud the whole package.
It was ruined. The only thing I could do, then, was to finally put the Dilly Bars in the freezers, whereby the trail of ice cream will freeze. It'll be ungainly, but it won't be a mess where all the ice cream will just slide onto the plate. It worked: I opened up both packages and took bites of the solid ice cream, which ran up and down the wooden stick.
Should have remembered to throw the Dilly Bars in the freezer, though. Should have made sure not to break the Dilly Bars, either.
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