Can I Just Go Home From Work Just Once? (No, Probably Not)

I could totally be wrong about this, but I don't remember the last time I got home from work early enough in the afternoon whereby I could just change clothes, crawl into bed, take a nap, and have the rest of the evening in front of me.  I would have time to do whatever the heck I want: Do the laundry, clean the dishes, start going through the mail and/or my stuff, etc.

But honestly, it feels as though I have gone from work to somewhere else, and I get home around 10 or so.  For example, I was working the Monday night Game Monday.  On Tuesday I went to the Timberwolves Game.  Last/Wednesday night I watched the prequel to The Hunger Games (and I gotta tell you, I have been impressed with the installments of this series that I've seen, and I really, really like The Ballad Of Songbirds And Snakes).  I have gone somewhere, and that somewhere wasn't home to cocoon.

Now, do I have to go to these places?  Well, no.  Like I don't have to go exercise tonight/Thursday night.  But I have my physical tomorrow/Friday, and I am under the delusion that blasting out some exercise the night before (after not working out for well over a week) will significantly improve my health.  But that means that I can't veg out at home, so that's another night out on the town.  I will look forward to Friday, where I can plop my butt down and watch the intriguing Pac-12 Football Championship ... well, after I go out and grab some food to eat, I guess.

My Defective Right Pinky

It seems to have gone away during last/Tuesday night's Timberwolves Game, but suddenly at work I felt pain in my right pinky.  I couldn't really tell if it was on the surface of my pinky or somewhere inside of it, but I had never felt that kind of pain before.  It immediately made me think it was some runaway bacterial infection and it'll get so bad that I'll have to have it amputated.  So let's hope it's not that, yeah?

Addendum To: A Good Break

I was basically a pack mule for the Vikings Game, and all my body parts hurt as a result.  But there are a lot of good things to working the Game instead of watching it like I had planned to.  Obviously it's great to make money the same day you earn money through paid time off at work.  Moreover, even though I was afraid strike would keep me at the stadium way past my bedtime, we actually got out of there, oh, 2-2 1/2 hours after the Game was over.  I usually stay that late after a Game just eating food.

Best of all, because the Vikings lost, I'm glad I didn't see that because I was too busy working.  And making money on top of that?  Even better when you combine all the good things together.  Plus I saw this really cute babe who was wearing a barebelly shirt.  Yowza!

A Good Break

Wouldn't you know it ... I took this day off because I thought I would be working the Game tonight.  But then I didn't hear till Friday that they had everyone they needed.  I still took the day off because my supervisor built an appointment to a doctor around seeing that doctor after filling in for me at work today.

Well, well, well ... got home just now after getting my shoes shined and eating some Cyber Monday deals at Potbelly and Chick-Fil-A for lunch.  I was planning on exercising this afternoon -- but I just got a text from the MNF contact saying that someone got sick.  Can I fill in?  Hell yes I can fill in!

Hey, sometimes things go my way!

Didn't Know Foil Was A Deadly Weapon

So back on Thanksgiving I was trying to open a bottle of wine.  Covering the cork was this really tight and strong foil that probably had some metal in it.  Now I usually have some trouble cutting this part of a bottle open, and this appeared to be the same pain in the ass.  So I used a small knife attached to the corkscrew to try and cut enough of it to pull and tear off the rest.

But this was a bigger struggle than I thought.  I had only managed to pull up on side of the bottom of the foil to the point where it sort of balled up.  And as I was holding it to figure out an easier way to open the bottle, I inadvertently dragged the tip of my right index finger across this nub of foil -- and it made a cut, a fairly deep cut, on my finger.  I said to myself, "Wow, that kind of hurts!" and then I looked at the cut on my finger that was starting to seep blood.  It wasn't gushing or anything, but I don't remember ever seeing or feeling a cut that deep, nor seeing a cut on my finger like that before.  So I ran my finger under cold water before applying a Band-Aid.

That Band-Aid fell off when I took a shower on Friday, and while it no longer was bleeding, the cut hadn't fully sealed up yet.  There was dead skin surrounding the cut, and I pulled off some of the skin before thinking better of it and putting on another Band-Aid.  This second Band-Aid is still on my finger, and I really don't want to take it off until that cut is fully healed, no dead skin or anything like that.  So I'll wait.

But I couldn't think that foil, even tough foil like that, would be strong enough to cut you.  What the hell?!  I haven't been able to help myself from spacing out to, say, using a cut-open piece of foil like how I eventually was able to open up the bottle (with the help of pliers and, by the way, it is a screw cap and not a cork) as a self-defense weapon in case someone out on the street wants to try something.  I could just take out what seems like a piece of trash and slash the bastard across the arm or the torso, or worse.  Yeah, I've got to stop letting this red mist descend upon me and make me think violent thoughts.

Oh, also by the way, the flop-flopping of work days and non-work days, where I am in the middle of alternate working and not working?  I don't like it.  I have a long weekend, and yet because I just got home from work, I don't have a long weekend, even though I get to have tomorrow off.  It's weird.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -2).  Beat Harvard and Cornell over the weekend in the "D1 In DC" proof-of-concept showcase in Our Nation's Capitol.  Yeah, I don't know what else to say -- except that winning two tilts away from home is good enough (at least for this screening Week) to reach the top spot.

Hosting Bemidji St. Friday and Saturday.

#-2: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -8).  Crushed Arkansas-Pine Bluff by 19 Tuesday, but I'm still very sour about their choke Loss to Missouri, so whatever.

They visit San Francisco tonight/Sunday night; they're no pushover, so this might be a tough one.  Plus, this is this club's first away Game after starting the Year with five at Williams Arena.  Will this be like the Game against Mizzou?

#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  So I detailed my trip to see the Wolves face and beat New York here.  I was afraid I would be going to the Game that ended this suddenly-frisky team's winning streak.  Didn't happen on Monday, nor did it happen when they defeated Philadelphia by 13 at Target Center Thanksgiving Eve, although that may be because the Joel Embiid decided not to suit up.

Unfortunately the streak did end at three after Friday's 13-Point defeat at home to Sacramento.  This one hurts a tad more because that Loss was an In-Season Tournament Game.  That gave the group the Timberwolves are in to Sacramento, which, if I am right, means that there is only spot left in the Western Conference (as comprised for this In-Season Tournament) for a Wild Card, so that drops these Dogs down in this survey.

There is one more Game left in the Group State of the In-Season: Tuesday at Target against The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics.  Thank goodness my friend has a free ticket for that one.  Not only do I want a picture of the court being used for only this tournament (kind of a shame such a court is being used for only two Games), I want to see if the Timberwolves play as if they want to advance to the Tournament's Knockout Round.  If the records are tied, I believe the tie-breaker is Point Difference, and right now, Minnesota is in the red, so that means that they need to blow out Oklahoma City and not let Point Difference get its grubby hands on this process.  And as I hear, sadly, the Bastard Sonics are stronger this year than last -- kind of just like the Timberwolves.

This is just the apex of a busy four-Game Week.  They also visit Memphis, host Utah, and play at Charlotte (all these are non-In-Season Tournament Games).

#-4: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -3).  Was at last Sunday's mammoth tilt vs. Paige Bueckers and UConn.  First of all, while it was only nearly a sell-out (there was enough empty space around me in the nosebleeds to feel I wasn't being crowded), there were a hell of a lot of people there (over 10,000, even though that may be tickets scanned and not actual attendance) and a hell of a lot more people than I thought would be at the Gopher men's Game versus Missouri but definitely weren't.

And second of all, believe it or not, there was a path for the Gophers to topple the Huskies.  Head Coach Dawn Plitzuweit told her players to shoot the fuck out of the ball from three, and they did.  Can't blame the strategy: If those shots would've gone in, Minnesota was going to give Connecticut a game.  Hell, for one half they did; they only trailed 26-23 at Halftime.  Unfortunately, they couldn't hit the broad side of a barn, even though the Huskies let them fire up shot after shot from deep.  In the first half, they hoisted 20 3's ... and made only four of them.  It could've been such a different story if they had made more treys early in the Game to set the tone, but unfortunately the big run great teams in women's college basketball have in them happened in the Third Quarter, where UConn outscored the Gophs 21-6 to blow the Game wide open on their way to a 62-44 Win.

The team recovered to rout Cal State-Northridge Wednesday 84-31 (!!!), which means to me that this group has a lot of talent, just nowhere near enough to compete with the elite and maybe even ranked teams.  I don't know where Stony Brook, Norfolk St. and Drake fall in that spectrum, but I know that this club is playing all three of them this screening Week to finish up their eight-Match season-opening homestand.

#-5: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: 0).  In their last regular season Matches of the Year, both at home, they swept Illinois and lost to top-ranked (and presumptive Queens Of The Hill/overall #1 Seed for the NCAA Tournament) Nebraska in four Sets.  People are now saying that the U. not only has been safe for the field for some time, they are now the proverbial "team that no one wants to face."  It's great to go in hot, but they probably won't host a regional.  In fact, they will not be seeded and so will be sent somewhere to play on the road.  Selection show's tonight/Sunday at 5; their season may be over this time next Week.

#-6: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -5).  The second Game of their season at home against Michigan St. is this/Sunday afternoon, so there's only Game for the Week, which was a Shootout Loss Black Friday night.  Not that big of a deal unless the Spartans win this/Sunday afternoon.  They will also visit Penn St. for two Friday and Saturday.  Busy screening Week for the male icers.

#-7: Vikings (Last Week: -4).  The Josh Dobbs hype was so overblown that the correction was going to be equally absurd.  And yet the narrative around him has changed after last Sunday's Loss in Denver from "This guy could be an MVP contender!" to "No wonder this guy has been on three teams over the past year!"  I admit that I got suckered into a feel-good story.  I think he knows what he's doing.  But Dobbs wasn't able to do his part; the Vikes were settling for Field Goals where getting Touchdowns would have put the tilt away.  Instead, they let the Broncos hang around, and Russell Wilson, who has lost only once all-time against Minnesota, led them on a late drive that was capped by a Hail Mary-esque cross-field catch in the End Zone by Courtland Sutton.  The Broncos repeatedly dialed up Blitzes on Dobbs on the ensuing drive, and the Vikes couldn't advance the ball.

Tomorrow/Monday night they host Chicago.  Is the Dobbs bloom permanently off the rose?

#-8: Wild (Last Week: -7).  Lost to Toronto in Sweden, then lost at home to The Bastard Quebec Nordiques to extend their losing streak to six.  People thought this was a playoff squad -- wouldn't do anything once there, but they would've made it.  Now?  Heh, perish the thought.

The most fight this team has exhibited, in fact, came during warm-ups before Friday's defeat to Colorado.  Marc-Andre Fleury wanted permission to wear a specially-designed Native American mask for warm-ups.  The NHL, because they fucking suck (BRING BACK THE NORTH STARS!!!), said no, and they were threatening to fine both Flower and the organization if he did.  Well, Fleury fucking wore the facemask anyway -- and it appears as though the league will not fine at least him.  Flower and the Wild put up the mask for auction; it's getting bucks now, I hear.  Good.

This Week: At Detroit, home to St. Louis, at Nashville.

#-Infinity: Gopher football (Last Week: -6).  Possibly the most disappointing season in The P. J. Fleck Era came to in ignominious end -- a doubling-up by Wisconsin whereby they won back Paul Bunyan's Axe, and they did it at Huntington Bank.  The Badgers were there for the taking, especially because they reached bowl eligibility last Week.  But not only did the U. lose, they didn't seem all that competitive.

So the Goofers end at 5-7.  They actually have an outside shot of making a bowl if there aren't enough 6-6 teams to grab up all the bowl spots because the players are so smart.  Still, having a below .500 record in Fleck's seventh season here feels like a step back.  A few Weeks ago I could believe Fleck would bolt for a lateral job.  I think now his aura has dimmed, to the point where he could be on the hot seat if things stay this bad next season.  I think most fans are realistic that they're not Michigan or Alabama; that doesn't mean they'll just accept a series of 5-7 seasons.  For less than charitable reasons, watch this space.

Oh, by the way, I somehow have set up my schedule where I worked Wednesday, did not work Thursday/Thanksgiving, worked yesterday/Friday, do not work today/Saturday, work tomorrow/Sumday, do not work Monday, and work Tuesday.  Flip-flop-flip-flop-flip-flop-flip!

I'm so pissed off right now.  When my day at work started, my supervisor noted that the workload was relatively light, which means that we could be able to leave early.  That would mean that I could get my hair cut after work after all.

But noooooooooooooooooooooooooo.  I don't know what the fuck happened (though maybe it didn't matter that there were fewer forms because there were fewer workers to work on them), but we stayed and pulled a regular goddamn shift.  In fact, we were late in getting done with the most important forms for the day.  I was able to leave ten minutes early.  Just ten.  So obviously that means nothing, and I need to rest before going to this hip-hop show I'm not too excited about.  Well, I need to vent by blog posting this first and then I'll rest, but you know what I mean.

I was told by my supervisor on Wednesday to prepare for a full day.  But I saw her e-mail this morning and I got suckered into believing that we might get a break instead.  Now I'll have to wait till fucking tomorrow, when the barbershop might be so fucking busy.  God, after such a stressful day at work, I could've used something going my way.  Not in the cards for me, turns out.

I Don't Want To Go, But It's Free, So ...

I have a friend who has offered free tickets to this event in downtown Minneapolis.  It is not an event I would care to go to.  Also, it's at a theater I used to usher in.  I did not leave on good terms.  In fact, there may be ushers there that I don't want to speak to.  If I do go back, it would be the first time I've set foot in there since I told my boss I need to take leave from the job because of this one usher I didn't get along with.  I kept asking him for delay after delay because I still didn't want to work with her, and eventually I stayed away long enough that I was considered a quit.  I didn't really look back at that move, until now.

It had been a while since the person who offered these tickets texted me, and it bothered me that I couldn't say no.  It is a free ticket; I looked online and tickets for the show run about $50.  More important, my friend texted me about these out of the blue.  There is consideration that goes to thinking about someone you haven't thought of in a while, and I really want to reciprocate that.  So I said yes -- even though she gave me two tickets and there is no way I could even think of another person who would agree to go with me to this show.

Have to confess; I kind of regret it now.  I really, really want to get my hair cut tomorrow, but if I have to rest up and get to downtown Minneapolis to find parking in time (no way in hell am I paying for parking, even if the Timberwolves are in town), I can't do that after a regular-to-long day at work and before going to the show.  And I'm looking at all these interesting football Games I would want to stay home and watch.  But no, I have to rest up after I get home from work, and then I have to go to this performance, and by the time I come home, all those Games are probably going to be done.

But ... I don't want to be a bitch.  I'm going.  But I want to complain here.  That's why I made this blog all those years ago.

Can I Be Ungrateful Just For This One Moment On Thanksgiving?

So work was a bear yesterday/Wednesday.  Didn't think it'd be so goddamn busy the day before Thanksgiving.  But per usual, the lab dropped a shit ton of work on me in the afternoon, so I knew I was staying late.  And that meant that I got out to the liquor store late, and that meant I got out to the speakeasy downtown late enough that there were too many fucking people to find a seat, so I had to go to another speakeasy which was also so busy that I had to stand up the whole time.

Oh, and I did not hear back from the MNF people about working the Vikings Game.  They called me out of the blue to see if I could help for the Game against the 49ers earlier this season and because they blindsided me, I had to say no.  This Game against the Bears comes up, and I don't hear from them.  I e-mail the person who e-mailed me before to say hey, this time I am available.  No answer.

That led to a cascade of shit at work.  I took Monday off, just in case.  But I had planned to take back my paid time off if I didn't hear from MNF in time.  I guess I should've pulled that back sooner, because yesterday my boss came in and told me and another co-worker our roles for next week.  I don't think he would have rejiggered them if I told him in time I in fact did not need to take the day off.  Oh, well.  I'm taking it off anyway because my supervisor, who's filling in for me that day, has lined up her day so that she can go to an appointment close by.

(Aside: I am taking next Friday off because that's when I get my check-up.  Also, because I apparently am not working MNF, I am filling in for someone on Sunday.  Finally, my boss was hoping I could take next Thursday off, too.  So I had initially planned to work five days next week when there was a chance I would be working only two.  I don't get it.  But I think it's all straightened out now.)

Fuck it, I'm off today.  (Though I'm not off tomorrow, and apparently that is going to be a hell of a day too, even though I don't fucking understand how we could get work from Thanksgiving, which is a federal holiday, but fuck it, I'll get my hair cut some other fucking day, I guess.)  I need to be grateful for the day off, for the good drinks the bartender made for me, for getting home in one piece, for getting to Subway for my annual turkey sandwich I get for myself before they closed last night, and for getting seven hours of sleep.  Happy Thanksgiving.

Chicks I Want To Beat Off To

Alright, I have nothing else I want to blog post about now and I want to get this off my chest ... or cock:

So I was at this local coffeeshop.  And I see these two gorgeous young women.  One of them, who rang me up at the cash register, looks real young until you see the outline of a tattoo that encompasses her entire back.  She was wearing lowriders and showing off her thin belly.  Her co-worker, who was a little nerdier with her dyed hair and loud clothing, nonetheless showed off her midriff too, and she was smoking hot just the same.

Went to a men's and women's basketball Game several days ago at the U.  At the men's Game, there was one co-ed wearing a short-ish white top and sweatpants; was staring at the small of her back while she was sitting down the whole time.  And I saw an even fitter co-ed on the big screen who was sitting with the rest of the students down below.  Her tight white shirt framed her big (for her frame) tits quite well!  At the women's Game, there was one chick who, well, was wearing a white top and gray sweatpants, and she was sporting her nice belly.

And I'm now I'm getting hard for Tate McRae.  I didn't know who the fuck she was until I saw her on Kimmel.  She piqued my interest then, but she just appeared on Saturday Night Live and that's when I really, really noticed her toned, tanned belly.  She flaunts her body like Dua Lipa, and now I have to touch myself until I cum.

My friend had a free ticket for last/Monday night's Timberwolves Game against New York.  I decided against it for a few reasons: 1) He also had a ticket to next Tuesday's Game versus The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics and I thought going to one Game was enough; 2) I had already made plans to buy Pizza Hut and watch Monday Night Football; 3) I was afraid that the T-Wolves, who are in the middle of a winning streak and came back from nowhere to defeat The Bastard Charlotte Hornets in their last Game, would finally lose; all three local teams in action Sunday (Wild, Gopher women's hoops, Vikings) all lost, after all, and the Wolves following suit the next night seemed apropos; and 4) I thought I had to stay late at work and wouldn't get to Target Center before opening tip, so if that would be the case, why go?

Well, the workload was lighter than I anticipated for a Monday.  I could tell that I could leave work well in time to find free parking downtown.  So, I abruptly changed my mind and texted my friend if I could go to the Game after all.  He still had the ticket.  And I went and saw my Timberwolves blow the Game wide open in the Third Quarter.  Yay, I went to a sporting event and my team actually won!  MNF was a thriller, by the way; in the end, The Philadelphia Eagles came into Kansas City and came back from behind to beat The Chiefs.  I would've been entertained if I stuck with my original plan and went home.  But I am happy I decided to go to the Wolves Game after all!

Finally Rotated My Pants (Well, Sort Of)

One of the big household chores I really, really wanted to do and should have done sooner I did yesterday/Sunday -- well, I began doing, and beginning to do sometimes is half the battle.  I have a lot of pants, but I have one old-school drawer, of which I only dedicate one, uh, drawer to pants.  So what I do (or want to do actually) is to stuff in this drawer all the pants I want to use and stash the rest in a hamper in my closet.  Once a season or once a year -- at least theoretically -- I would take out the hamper and switch out the pants I have used for the ones that I have stashed.

I say theoretically because it's been more than a year, and possibly two years, since I rotated them.  I've been meaning to finally do that ever since my parents left, and finally I had time yesterday/Sunday afternoon to, well, start.  I have a lot of pants that don't fit me, and with me getting older and my damn waistline getting bigger, I needed to devote some time to trying them all on to see if they still fit.  I think I tried on some pants that haven't fit me for years, but yesterday/Sunday was finally the day I had the courage to set them aside and intend to give them away.

Whether or not they had fit in the past and now don't or if they've been too small for me for many seasons now, I have set aside four pants (one set of jeans and three khakis) that I will donate.  There is one pair of khakis that juuuuuuuust fit me; I think I will wear them once, try to breathe in them while doing something public real quick, pop the button and then run home before anyone notices.  And if that button doesn't pop, well, I'm still skinny enough for them!

All the rotating-in pants that still fit me are lying on the floor.  I'm going to have to take out the ones that will rotate out, stick them in the hamper, and then see if the drawer has enough space for all the pants rotating in.  I might do that now.  I might do that two months from now.  Who knows?

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Timberwolves (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  The good "vibez" continue on this team.  Yes, they got gashed at Phoenix (who were without the injured Bradley Beal) by 18 on Wednesday.  But they swept a pair of Games at Golden State (on Sunday and in Tuesday's In-Season Tournament [in which Draymond Green put Rudy Gobert in a chokehold after Jaden McDaniels and Klay Thompson got tangled up -- just toxic masculinity there]) and, after trailing for most of the tilt last/Saturday night, erased a ten-Point deficit to start the Fourth Quarter and beat The Bastard Charlotte Hornets in New Orleans on a last-Second short jumper by Karl-Anthony Towns, 121-120.

The effort to rock the Pels -- which is nice to see but jarring to see so early in the Year -- may be the biggest difference between last season's and this season's club.  As such, The Minnesota Timberwolves, as of press time, are in first place in the Western Conference.  That is a fact I didn't think I would ever utter.  And so I put the Wolves at the top spot, and in a very successful screening Week for local sports, I float them up to Positive Numbers for the second straight Week.  I don't know if I've ever given them back-to-back perfect marks ever.

This Week: At Memphis tonight/Sunday night; an In-Season Tournament Game at home to The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics Tuesday; hosting The Bastard New Orleans Jazz Thursday; at Charlotte Saturday.

#0: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -5).  Fighting for their tournament hopes (or not -- I don't know if there's a volleyball bracketologist out there), they responded by sweeping all three Matches they had this screening Week -- at Indiana (in five Sets), then at home over Iowa and Ohio St. (both sweeps).  I do not think any of those teams are any good, but I think they and I will take a three-Game winning streak, even if those on Twitter/X saying, "Omg they're peaking at the right time, you don't want to play them right now" are fucking delusional.

The regular season (mercifully?) finishes this Week at home vs. Illinois on Black Friday and, whoa, The Top Ranked Team In The Country, Nebraska, Saturday night.

OK ... I just checked the volleyball chatroom I go to from time to time.  The Gophers probably are in trouble due to their low RPI (losing to Maryland and Rutgers will do that), but many people say beating The Illini will remedy that.  Oh, and the squad is playing better now that Melani Shaffmaster finally got her cast off.

#-1: Gopher wrestling (NEW SEASON!!!).  Another going-through-the-motions season for the once-vaunted Gopher grapplers.  They've started out just fine, racking up three Wins over Bucknell, Morgan St. and George Mason, all away from the Pavilion.  But can you beat Penn St.?  Can you finish second to Penn St.?  I just want to see something better than before.  I'm that beaten down.

They don't play a Dual until next Sunday.

#-2: Gopher women's hockey (Re-Entry!).  Swept once power (though Top 10-ranked) Minnesota-Duluth in Duluth over the weekend by matching 3-1 scores.  I see on the U. athletic website a heading I think wasn't there before, a bright red block denoting "D1 in DC."  I think the Games therein, against Harvard on Black Friday and Cornell on Saturday, have always been there.  I didn't notice the Matches were being played in Arlington, Va., and I was not aware till now that this apparently is a push to advance the idea of placing a top-flight women's hockey program in the District Of Columbia.  To which I say: Which university?  Is there one thinking about it, or putting together a study, or raising money?  Is it Georgetown?  Maryland?  George Mason?

#-3: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -2).  Crushed Chicago St. by 58 (!!!) and North Dakota St. by 22, indicators that there was talent on the roster, they just weren't being coached up right.  But now they step up in class: Hopkins native Paige Bueckers and Connecticut come to town this/Sunday afternoon to face the U.  The Gophers face their toughest chall -- yeah, who am I kidding, the Gophers have no chance of beating The Huskies, this is only a test to see for how long they can hang with them.

Side note: The last time I think Bueckers played at Williams Arena, when she was with Hopkins, was The Final Sporting Event I Attended Before The World Shut Down.  I remember getting really nervous about deciding to go into The Barn and being with other people, one of whom may have this COVID-19 virus that was rampaging through the planet.  There was a sign that was put up the day of the Games (I think this was the Semifinals of Bueckers's class) that all tickets for the next Day's Finals will be rescinded because attendance will be limited only to schools and the players' families.  (If I remember correctly, they changed that later that night and said that those Games were cancelled.)  But while I was nervous as shit, I didn't get it, I was able to see Hopkins romp over Stillwater and then St. Michael's-Albertville defeat Farmington, and I went home before the pandemic came to Minnesota and the United States.  Yeah, good times (not really).

#-4: Vikings (Last Week: 0).  I'm putting these guys below four U. of M. minor league sports only because they won more Games over the screening Week.  But don't let the -4 fool you; The Minnesota Vikings are, somehow, The Fucking Hottest Team In The NFL after winning its fifth straight Game, 27-19 over New Orleans last Sunday afternoon.

Three things stood out about the Win: 1) Josh Dobbs might be such a refreshing breath of air because he will scramble for Touchdowns, and that is a distinct difference from seeing Kirk Cousins stick it out in the pocket and not able to run when he's in trouble; 2) Kevin O'Connell is doing a masterful job getting Dobbs up to speed, but his creativity was in full bloom when he called a direct snap to Running Back Ty Chandler for a short Touchdown; 3) the Vikes unfortunately reverted to typical Vikes form in turning into a sludgy mess in the Second Half.  Jameis Winston (who had to sub in for Derek Carr after he left with an injury) did throw two picks, but when you give up two TDs to him, you can't say you did a great job.

But hey, a Win's a Win, and I think that as of right now, they in fact would make the playoffs.  That might change after tonight's/Sunday night's showdown at Denver against a suddenly frisky and competent Broncos outfit.

#-5: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -3).  Split at Mariucci over the weekend to Notre Dame.  You know, I remember the Twitter/X admin for the Gopher men's hockey account tweeting a tweet about right after last Year's collapse to Minnesota-Duluth in the NCAA Men's Hockey Championship Game vowing they'd be back.  I'm not saying they're going to have a shitty season this Year, but there's no fucking way I see this team replicating the success of that team, so any vow that they'll be back is so fucking ludicrous I wonder if that admin is really from here.  We're a damned sports town?!  YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY THINK YOU'LL BE BACK?!?!?!

Hosting Michigan St. Black Friday and Sunday afternoon.

#-6: Gopher football (Last Week: -6).  No miracle in Columbus, but what do you expect?  Got rocked 37-7 yesterday/Saturday afternoon, and so have one more final matchup, versus Wisconsin Saturday at Das Bank v.1.0., to become bowl-eligible (which, BTW, I have just realized is akin to being safe from relegation in a country's top-flight soccer league).  The Badgers just reached their sixth Win last/Saturday night by beating Nebraska, so there might be less incentive for them to win.  But, of course, they want to win Paul Bunyan's Ax back.

Quickly looking back at his record with Minnesota, P. J. Fleck is suffering through his worst season since the pandemic-shorted 2020 one, where he went 3-4.  This Year's record could reflect closer his second season, in 2018, in which he finished 7-6 with a Win in the Quick Lane Bowl.  His first Year, in 2017, he went 5-7.  By the way, this is his seventh Year at the U.; do you believe in The Seven-Year Itch?

#-7: Wild (Last Week: -4).  This club's horrid start continues.  They lost at home to The Bastard North Stars Sunday by a too-typical 8-3 score.  The squad then went to Sweden (a fact I did not know when I did last Week's WMNSS, sorry) and lost to Ottawa in a Shootout yesterday/Saturday morning.  The Mild is now on a four-Game losing streak.  This season's fucking lost.

They'll play one more Game in Sweden this/Sunday morning versus Toronto.  They'll return home from across the Atlantic and host The Bastard Quebec Nordiques Friday.

Oh, by the way, The North Stars Proviso remains in effect: I weigh both Wins and Losses to The That Was Stolen From Us v.2.0 heavily.  The Mild should be dead last in this Week's Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey, but they're not because of the. ...

#-8: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -1).  I don't give a fuck they beat South Carolina-Upstate by 14 yesterday/Saturday afternoon.  I was at Williams Arena Thursday night for the Goofers' Game against Missouri (the first Game between these two schools since 1960, a fact I heard more than once in the build-up).  This rare BcS vs. BcS matchup not part of a series between conferences (the Big Ten-ACC Challenge, for example) was going to be an indicator of how improved the U. is after two incredibly disappointing seasons to start The Ben Johnson Era -- or not.

The Gophers came out like a bat out of hell.  Early on they couldn't miss, especially from three.  They expanded a six-Point lead at Halftime to as much as 20 Points with 11 1/2 Minutes to go.  About 90 Seconds before, a starter for The Tigers got hit with a Double Technical for slightly but definitely pushing a Referee after a loose ball and a call that did not go his way.  The result was a six-Point campaign that pushed the lead to 14.  It was at that point that I thought they couldn't, and they definitely shouldn't, blow this lead.

But fucking blow it they did.  They were outscored 31-9 in the last 11 1/2 Minutes.  Missouri took the lead for the first time in the contest on an And-One with 9.1 Seconds left to go.  Two pathetic misses later, and the Goofs may have suffered their worst Loss in the past three Years, and maybe ever.  (I have to believe that this comeback/choke was a school record on either side, but I've checked both colleges' athletic websites, and not seeing stats like, "This is the biggest comeback/blown deficit since [insert Year here]" means that while this was memorable for anyone who witnessed it, this was by no means an historic record on either side.)  It appears as though the length of The Tigers suddenly bothered the Goofers when it didn't at the start of the Game, and I think they needed a Point Guard to rally the troops especially as Mizzou whittled down that lead.  With that sad, I don't care how green Johnson or his team is; if you blow a lead like that, you deserve to be on the hot seat.  I'm sorry.

Only one Game this screening Week: Hosting Arkansas-Pine Bluff to finish their season-beginning five-Game homestand on Tuesday.

Enjoying The Weather I Fear Will Change Soon (Best Laid Plans Ruined)

So I had the day off yesterday/Friday and the first and most important thing I did, fucking ****e, I did.  She was as sensational as she's ever been.

However, the next thing I had on my to-do list, getting my shoes shined from my dedicated shoe polisher in downtown Minneapolis, fell through.  Gave her a text saying that I would see her in an hour, but she replied that she totally forgot and had to leave her stand for the day because she had things to do this weekend that were on her mind.

Totally get that; I am that way, too.  Unfortunately, that means that one of the things I want done -- getting my shoes shined monthly -- will now be delayed/ruined.  I have another day off in 13 days, and I'll probably see her then.  However, it's late fall, Thanksgiving's coming up, the 69-degree high we had on Thursday will be the warmest it probably will be until the spring, and it will begin to get precipitously colder starting on Thanksgiving.  And with the cold comes the snow.

Last time I heard the forecast there wasn't any snow expected through next week.  But I'm scared, real scared, that the snow will be here in time for the next time I can see her.  Because I have preliminarily, mentally placed seeing my shiner in between appointments to see my physician for a check-up in the late morning and finally getting around to see an orthotic to get new insoles in the afternoon.  It will be absolute hell if I need to do all that driving in snow.  Which makes going into downtown and getting my shoes shined yesterday/Friday something I would have loved to get off my plate.

And another thing: I blog posted in my previously about how I was going back-and-forth as to how to use both cars over the next few days.  Well, I chose to drive down and see ****e in my car because I did not want to go through the frustrating hassle of parallel parking my parents' minivan in downtown Minneapolis to see my shoe shiner.  But I didn't have to go downtown after all.  Which meant I could have, and possibly should have, used the minivan to see ****e.  Oh, well.  I did use the van to see friends last night at Eat Street, and that car wasn't stolen (although I haven't checked my driveway this morning as I blog post this).  So that went well, at least.

Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Monday, December 4:

• *****y came over.  She has gotten a bit chunky, but when My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition) was still open, she was one of the fucking bangingiest bodies that worked there.  And I was honored as hell that she would drop by my house to touch my pee-pee.  Unfortunately, as hard as she was yankin', my penis wasn't responding.  Goddamn old age!  Like I have to do often now, I need to jerk myself off to completion.  *****y was great; I, again, was not.  Oh, well.  I paid her: $150.
• Back on Saturday the 2nd I was lucky enough to enter ****e without a condom again.  She's been very loving and affectionate ever since we were able to resume our trysts.  I have also noticed that she has a lot less prescription pills lying around the house.  And, she seems both lucid and happier.  Those three things are not coincidental.  I was able to cum with ease.  Why?  Easy: Unlike with *****y, ****e both sucked my dick and, like I said, let me inside her.  Plus (and this is no shade to *****y), ****e costs less for more perks: $120.
• Friday, December 1 ... after having lunch on Eat Street I went to Glam Doll where I ran into this rude, stupid worker.  I do not want to re-hash my interaction with that prick because I'll just spiral into anger again, so I hope you don't mind me not linking.  With tip I paid: $15.12.
• After going home and then seeing the podiatrist (my second doctor's visit of the day; I went to get my check-up before eating lunch on Eat Street), I went to Moler to get a shave.  I like when the person shaving me is meticulous; that's why I gave a dollar extra in tip.  Total: $14.
• OK, all the way back to Friday, November 17 -- I fucked ****e for: $120.
• That evening I was back on Eat Street, seeing friends from my social group at Christos for some Greek food.  Never been there before, and let's just say I had some bowel movements after I left.  Nonetheless I liked the food and enjoyed the company, even though I was buried in my phone most of the time.  With tip: $43.
• I then went down the street to have an Old Fashioned at Eat Street Crossing.  This is one of those food halls that have popped up around town over the past several years.  I understand the idea of having a lot of different restaurants under one roof; it doesn't scream "mind-blowing concept" to me, however.  I thought I had noted how much the drink was on my phone, but it turns out I didn't, so I am going to pull an amount out of my butt and say, with tip, I paid: $17.
• To Thursday the 16th where, after seeing the Minnesota Golden Gopher men's basketball team blow a huge lead and lose to Missouri, I stopped by Mesa, a seeming dive reminiscent of the old Dinkytown even though they took root when Dinkytown first started gentrifying, for a pepperoni & salami slice.  Oh, Mesa and their Frankenstein pizzas!  With a can of Pepsi and tip: $8.
• Going back to Saturday, November 11: Got my car washed at Central.  I don't know if I have the receipt, but I will assume I don't so I can note here that, with tip, the wash cost me: $30.46.
• I then went to Diamonds next door for ... was this the time where I saw those two gorgeous babes working there?  Probably!  Wanted to veg out and work on my receipts, but nearly every damn table there was taken, so that plan went by the wayside.  Had a bowl of chili, though, that hit the spot.  I was glad to see that they sold individual bottles of ginger beer.  I bought one so I can do some Dark 'n' Stormies.  Those two items plus a fruited drink and tip: $15.25.
• On Tuesday the 7th I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Version) to see my ATF, ******a, for the first time in a long time.  Cover, tips, drinks for me and her and, oh, 20 table dances from her equals: $230.
• Back to Friday, November 3, where I stopped by my alma mater football-watching spot to make sure everything was good to watch our Game the next night there.  And as a token of my appreciation to continue to house our group, I ate dinner there.  With tip: $27.
• On Saturday, October 28, I woke up a tad early to travel down to south Minneapolis to get double-teamed by ***e* and ******e, the former of whom was crashing at the latter for some reason.  I think they both are going to move in together in Wisconsin at the beginning of the new year.  Till then, ***e* was in town to crash at ******e's place, and make some money off of me.  I was told to come in through the back door, so I did ... with my dick out!  ***e* finally noticed and I sheepishly tucked myself back in, but no, it was too late!  She went up, opened up my open fly even further, thrust her hand in there, pulled my cock out, and started masturbating me right then and there!  The combination of being naughty (especially in public) with ***e* and later ******e being aggressive in wanking me ... well, it was very easy for me to cum after what they did to me.  Maybe I need to be a tad more ... reckless in order to get off easy.  Although, to be fair, I never fail to cum easily when I'm being touched by those two.  Total: $240.
• After that "workout" I went to Pineda Tacos, another critically-lauded restaurant in the neighborhood that I had to go to because I was in the area.  Unlike the other Mexican restaurant I went to after I got jacked off by ******e solo, Taqueria El Primo 2, the hot sauces I received at Pineda, for some reason, weren't as hot.  I want to authentically try all foods, but El Primo's sauces were so hot that I literally could not enjoy the tacos.  I could at Pineda, at least somewhat.  Have the receipt, so this EWR is only for the tip, which, because those two girls wiped me out financially, I had only: $1.

Good through December 4.

My Car Or The Van?

I have a lot of places I am going to from now till about Thanksgiving that prompt me to figure out if I can use my parents' minivan, which I have used only once since getting it back with a new alternator (and that was only for getting fast food).  I want to use it because I don't want to overtax my car.  But the options to use the van aren't great.  Consider:

• Yesterday/Thursday: Work, then coming home, then going to see the Gophers men's basketball Game at Williams;
• Today/Friday: Going to fuck ****e, then getting my shoes shined downtown, then coming home, then probably going to Eat Street to eat Greek with friends;
• Tomorrow/Saturday: One final Game-watching event downtown, then maybe seeing a concert in St. Paul;
• Sunday: Going back to The Barn to see the Gopher women's basketball team host legendary UConn.

I work on top of all that, so I am looking for opportunities to use the van and not my car.  But they appear to be limited.  Going all the way to ****e's place sucks.  Yet, last time I went to see her I used the van.  However, I didn't follow that up with going into downtown Minneapolis to get my shoes shined.  Today I will, and it'll be such a horrendous pain-in-the-ass to try and parallel park a van, so using it today is a no-go.

I thought about using the van for both Gophers Games.  But crime is on the rise in Dinkytown, and I don't want to leave a 20-year-old van in the area for fear that I would come back and see it's gone.  (I used my car to go to The Barn to see the Gopher men's b-ball team play last/Thursday night, BTW.)  And downtown Minneapolis?  Forget it -- van's too big and I won't be able to find any place to park it for free.  And I'm likely going from the Game to the concert, so if I'm not using the minivan for the Game, I ain't using it for the concert.

Finally, Eat Street is in South Minneapolis, and that too is dodgy safety-wise.  However, I saw on the restaurant's website that there are parking lots close to the restaurant that I can park in.  For some reason, seeing that they have the use of lots for customer parking makes me think using the van will be OK.  So I will use it to have dinner with friends tonight/Friday night.  It might be the only time I drive the minivan for the next week though, I'm afraid.

No More Ticking HVAC. All I Had To Do Was Buy It Off

So through all the stuff I have had to go through the past few ... well, more like lifetimes but really weeks, some good news: The clacking coming from the furnace is gone!

I blog posted a while back that I was able to isolate where the tick-tick-ticking is coming from whenever the heat kicks in my house to one electrostatic cell that keeps arcing despite washing and cleaning it.  I simply could not call up an HVAC place because I was afraid they would charge me for a visit.  Was there a possibility that, say, I could just call them or even drop by their place with this arcing cell and tell them to just look at it?  Maybe.  But like I said, I didn't bother even trying to call.

So what did I do?  I bought a new one.  Well, I bought a used one, on eBay, a place I haven't bought from in years.  (I thought my account was tied in with Mother, and I don't want her knowing what I buy from that website, but when I got back on it, they had no record of my account, so I had to make up a new one.)  Got it last week, found time to put that cell in and take out the problem one, and even though I could have (and maybe should have) washed it before I put that new/used cell in, when the heat came on, the heat vented through the whole house without that pesky noise.  And a problem that has plagued me since the beginning of fall is now no more!

I sometimes wonder if I should have been more industrious.  Maybe I should have called to see if I could go in to an HVAC place and have them check out the electrostatic cell, or maybe I could have tried this trick with an emery board and sand out every single wire on the cell in case there was one microscopic piece of dirt or lint that was the source of the arcing and the ticking.  Instead, I do what I often do: Buy the problem away.  I kind of feel I do that when it comes to repairing my car; this might be a very bad comparison, but instead of trying to figure it out and fix something myself, I instead just throw money at it.  However, just buying stuff is way, way easier.  Also, it absolves me of any responsibility to adding to the problem.  Any problems that continue or arise as a result of me trying to fix a problem are my responsibility.  When I buy a product or pay people for their labor, if there are any problems that continue or arise, I can say, or tell myself, "Hey, I paid money for it/to them -- I assumed that would solve everything.  I didn't do anything!"

Maybe that speaks to my weakness as a person.  Whatever.  I am not plagued by noises whenever the heat comes on.  That's enough for me.

Had another long, bad day in The Fourth Department.  Thing is, it was one of those uncommon days where I thought everything was under control, to the point where there were times in the early afternoon I had nothing to do ... but then there was a shit ton of stuff in the afternoon, and the answers to the stuff I needed to get back were themselves a little complicated, so I had to e-mail back explaining what I needed exactly ... yadda-yadda-yadda, it's almost 6:30.

There was one back-and-forth where I think the other person just got sick of me.  There were two forms for which I asked for information together, but she gave me different answers for both.  I had to ask her to re-check one of them, which was a very long account number, and she seemed to reply with the account for the other form, which did check out.  I had to e-mail back saying I was sorry for being unclear, but this is the form I need an account for.  And she just replied, "I understood."  But did you, though?  I need to cover my ass and make sure it's very, very clear what information is being retrieved for which form.  I need the person I'm e-mailing to basically spell it out, all of it.  So that, in so many words, is what I was asking her when I replied again.  And she didn't answer by the time I left.

Maybe she had to go.  Or maybe she got tired of me and is going to talk to someone else in the company and ask that person to talk to me, which I think is a little bitch move.  Man, I sometimes hate this job. ...

Weather Doing A Number On Me Again

Last week I was waking up way too early.  Now, I am (back?) to falling asleep way too soon.  I was trying to keep my eyes open watching the end of the Monday Night Football Game between the Broncos and the Bills (sixth Game of the weekend that ended with a Game-winning Field Goal as time expired, a new record, by the way -- and Denver got to re-kick its missed FG because Buffalo had too many men on the field!), and once it was done I felt as though I needed to at least take a nap.  I turned everything off, crawled into bed, closed my eyes ... and now it's time to go to work.

Feel great, although I would prefer staying up more hours into the night because I had things to do, such as shopping for a new remote.  Why?  If I remember, I'll blog post about that.  Anyway, I hope my body can reacclimate, again, to the time adjustment so I can stay up a little longer.

And BTW, even though Daylight Saving Time has started, it's not as if the weather outside has changed considerably.  It is unseasonably warm right now, and we haven't had snow yet beyond a nuisance storm that covered the lawns with the white stuff.  It's really fall out there right now.  And my body is acting like it needs to hibernate (shrug)

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: October 2023

A lot of orange.  I don't equate Halloween with bikinis, but since it's the holiday for the month, I guess Hooters thought it needed to be felicitous to the month and deck out all the waitresses they were going to put into October in orange bikinis.  Come to think of it, that helps me; won't have to describe the bikinis they're wearing!

Beyond the monochrome, it's actually a really good month.  Out of the dozen babes festooning October '23, I want to point out seven, five of which are great for her own reason, and the other two standing head-and-shoulders above them.  These two are two of the best overall, IMHO.

But I do not want to throw shade at the five ladies.  In no particular order except going from down to up and then from left to right on the layout, they are:

• Virginia, of Williamsburg ... er, Virginia.  The black-haired beauty is grabbing the sides of her bikini bottom, and by doing that, she's flexing her muscles.  She's not a Ms. Olympia, but she's got some definition to her.  I like a girl with muscles;
• Lilly, working out of Charleston, S. C.  The long-haired blonde is the straps of her sports bra-like top.  That's usually a turn-off because I find that to be a distracting and unnatural pose.  But I don't mind it because I like her smile.  She kind of looks like Amanda Bynes before her mental health issues;
• Atlanta's Porsha.  She also is grabbing her bikini top straps, but she's showing off her abs that have that center cut.  I think this Black woman is fit as hell;
• Ashley, hailing from Chantilly, Va.  OK, she isn't unique in that I like the smile on her (a very broad, teeth-bearing one) like I do with Lilly.  Not enough servers in this calendar smile!  Ashley's smile overcomes the holding straps pose the photographer told her to do;
• and Somer, out of Clearwater, Fla.  It's the dress that I like best about this blonde; there are additional straps underneath her bikini top that are bejeweled with, uh, trinkets that look like they would make ornate earrings.  And the straps on her bikini bottom are linked together with those same-looking trinkets.  OK, I guess I have to describe at least her bikini!

So now, in second place, and it is only by a hair, is Callie, from Greensboro, N. C.  She has long blonde hair, wearing a two-piece, and is just standing with her body fully facing the camera.  And I don't know what exactly it is about her, but that full frontal shot shows off her body in a way that arouses me in a way that other Hooters babes posed in that exact same way in previous months and years don't.  Callie has a grown woman's body, and I would love to do perverted things with it -- with her consent.

And finally, in first place, of Raleigh, N. C., is Sara.  Straight and long light brown hair, and she's posing with her left side toward us.  But that allows us to see her ass.  Yes, she gets the top spot under my rule that any Hooters waitress showin' ass is automatically first.  But you gotta see her ass!!!  Sara is sporting a thong-ish bottom, so she's showing 70-5% of her ass, and by Buddha, she's got a tight and round tush that I want to bite and then sink my dick into.  I think it's the best ass I've ever seen on a Hooters girl.

So congratulations to Sara and all the other women in this excellent month.  I will rub one out to you all in due time!

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3).  The hype surrounding this club is as deafening as I can remember hearing it.  Target Center had that proverbial "playoff atmosphere" as they fended off Boston in Overtime Monday, 114-109, then stacked that with victories at home over The Bastard Charlotte Hornets Wednesday and at San Antonio Friday in the Wolves' first (-ever) In-Season Tournament Group Stage Game.  For a team that has consistently been inconsistent over the Years, they have won five in a row.  Most impressively, they are currently the best defensive team in the NBA.  Maybe, just maybe, this franchise has turned a corner.  And I'm encouraged enough to not only put them in the top spot of the WMNSS, but also place them in Positive Numbers.

So they will conclude their five-Game road trip this Week.  They have two Games at Golden State, this/Sunday night and Tuesday.  However, only the Tuesday night Game is an In-Tournament one.  They will the play Phoenix Wednesday and New Orleans Saturday.

#0: Vikings (Last Week: -2).  OK, Kevin O'Connell can coach.  He loses his starting Quarterback, Kirk Cousins, for the season; he sees his back-up, rookie Jaren Hall, leave in the First Quarter of the Game last Sunday versus the Falcons in Atlanta.  So in comes Josh Dobbs, who was traded from Arizona but started several of their Games this season.  He hadn't had reps with the first team.  He has barely taken any practice snaps.  And yet KOC brought him up to speed during the Game and directed him to throw the ball where he was supposed to.  Dobbs did, and along with some timely runs, the Vikings came back to defeat Atlanta, 31-28, their fourth Win in a row that puts them above .500 for the first time all Year.  Detroit (of all teams) might be the class of the NFC North Division, but the Vikings are fighting for a playoff spot, and I didn't see that coming coming into the Year.  That puts them also above negative numbers.  But can they keep it going at home today/Sunday against New Orleans?

#-1: Gopher men's basketball (NEW SEASON!!!).  A promising start, so far, for Head Coach Ben Johnson, who, in only his third Year, by all rights is on the hot seat.  His first Year was bad, at 13-17, although everyone was giving him a mulligan.  Last Year, his second, the squad was 9-22, and there were Games where the Losses were so bad that you wondered if leadership knew what it was doing.  He's doing a good job rectifying what predecessor Richard Pitino simply didn't want to do: Keep the best players in Minnesota in-state.  But there has to be a little more than competence shown this season.

Bethune-Cookman and Texas-San Antonio certainly ain't Duke and Kansas, but you would be right to be suspicious based on track record whether the Gophs could win both Games, even if they were at Williams Arena.  But they did, and by respective margins of 20 and 26.  But now comes the only non-conference tilt vs. a BcS school, as Missouri comes to The Barn Thursday.  This will be a fair test as to how good, or at least not bad, they are this season.  And I'll get to see it in-person 'cause I bought a ticket!  Oh, they'll continue their five-Game homestand that opens their season against South Carolina-Upstate Saturday.

#-2: Gopher women's basketball (NEW SEASON!!!).  They began their season Wednesday with a 92-57 rout of Long Island at Williams, a right start for new Head Coach Dawn Plitzuweit.  After the unfortunately bad tenure of local legend Lindsay Whalen, Plitzuweit comes here with an opportunity to jump-start the club and the program.  I truly believe that Minnesota is a sleeping giant.  Whalen was able to keep some of the best high schoolers in-state; she just could not coach them up.  Plitzuweit, who has coached at four colleges dating back to 2002, has a .721 coaching record and, in her only season coaching at West Virginia last Year, took the Mountaineers to the NCAA Tournament, can.  More importantly, Whalen's recruits all have decided to stay.  If Whalen was the issue, Plitzuweit can change things around in a snap.

Like the men, the women are also kicking off the season with a lengthy homestand.  They'll host Chicago St. and North Dakota St. this screening Week.

#-3: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -4).  If there is any rivalry that has leaped in prominence over the past, oh, five Years or so, it's Minnesota-Michigan.  They're the two programs that recruit the best, and they have clashed in the postseason more and more often, which creates the animosity that fans come to the arena to enjoy.  Like I have said before, it'll have to be heated rivalries like this that will help erase the memories of the old WCHA and CCHA.

The U. split their series with the Wolverines at Yost Arena over the weekend, coming back from a 3-1 deficit by scoring three straight to win on Friday, 4-3, then losing in a Shootout last/Saturday night.  These two teams will see a lot more of each other over the rest of the season.

Host Notre Dame Friday and Saturday.

#-4: Wild (Last Week: -6).  Was in New York State all screening Week.  Doubled up the Islanders, but got whacked by the Rangers and then got nipped in the bud in Buffalo.  Meanwhile, Jared Spurgeon just got back from Long-Term Injury Reserve.  He wasn't gone that long, so how could he have ever gone on LTIR?  Just a thought.

Season's still young(-ish), so being out of a playoff spot isn't the worst thing in the world.  But that Defense had better get its act together or ... oh, who are we kidding, they're not winning the Stanley Cup this Year.

Weirdly sparse screening Week.  This/Sunday evening they host The Team That Was Stolen From Us v.2.0.  They then visit Ottawa Saturday.

#-5: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -5).  Won in four Sets at Northwestern, lost in four Sets at home to Purdue.  There is some serious retrenching going on.  I might have to take back my prediction that these players have done enough to ensure their place in the NCAA Tournament.

Busy Week ahead for this squad: At Indiana this/Sunday afternoon, then host Iowa and Ohio St. back-to-back at home Friday and Saturday.

#-6: Gopher football (Last Week: -7).  You've heard of the seven-year itch, haven't you?  Well, this is P. J. Fleck's seventh season at the helm of the Gopher program, and after getting blasted yesterday/Saturday afternoon by a 49-30 score to a Purdue team that was 1-5 in the Big Ten and 2-7 overall, I think both sides are getting pretty goddamn antsy as to where this is headed.  Minnesota is nowhere close to being Ohio St. or Michigan.  (It's a goal, it's always a goal, but college football has a hardened hierarchy, and recognizing that isn't submitted, it's just reality.)  But there has to be progress, and I think one of those steps in progressing is being the best of the rest, and beating teams you are supposed to beat on paper.

But along with inexplicable Losses to Northwestern and Illinois, this is the third defeat to a club the U. should be better than.  And as I have said before, the Losses to inferior teams in the past pile up.  No one is saying that Fleck hasn't changed this program for the better.  But I think they are saying that they expected more, and they should.  Now, we still have a team that has yet to become bowl-eligible, and I doubt they'll be able to do that next Week when they visit Ohio St.

Money > OnlyFans

I got money out of the ATM today.  I looked at my balance.  And yes, it was payday yesterday, but it's been real flush for a while, ever since the credit card I signed up for my OnlyFans expired and I used my willpower not to add a new card.  I had always rationalized the money I spent on OF -- I need the porn, my parents are giving me shit, it's not that bad (I'll just buy photos and videos once a week ... a lot of photos and videos), yadda-yadda-yadda.  I kind of knew I was getting out of control with it, and while I have compiled everything single thing I bought there on a spreadsheet, I didn't really look, you know?

I was able to keep up with my credit card bill, but it was a hell of a credit card bill every month.  However, ever since I cut the cord with OF, my checking account has grown.  It's not as if I've been cutting spending on anything else.  Nope, I usually get coffee before work, I eat an inordinate amount of fast food, and I go out to restaurants and cocktail bars frequently.  But until recently, the amount of money I needed to pay off my credit cards exceeded one of the two paychecks I receive every month.  One could say you're living perfectly; to me, that's going one step forward and one step back.  And I am happy, very happy, to see the money in my account growing.

I love my porn.  I might go back to it when I'm feeling horny or sorry for myself.  But right now, I think I made a very wise decision not to spend money on OF.  And I think I'll continue.

Addendum To: Like Herding Cats (Alternate Title: Wow, Haven't Been Undermined In A Long Time)

OK, so I didn't get an answer from anybody as of Thursday morning as to where everybody else wanted to go, so I stuck to my guns and said we're going to St. Paul.  Thought that everyone's silence meant complicity, and while that isn't total buy-in, I'll take it.

But then today, one of the group ... well, frankly, started bitching about it.  This was the place whose kitchen closes way early, much too early for her liking.  So she kept coming back to her complaint today over texts.  I thought that we understood that but we're OK with it, but she didn't drop it; she texted that she called and they said the kitchen closed at an obscene hour.  I didn't think that was true, so I went there after work today to make sure of the time the kitchen closed ... and, well, it closed a little earlier than even I remembered it closing the last time we were there, but it was later than what she said.  I texted her that, and even though she seemed disappointed (you can never tell tone through texts, dammit), she said she come.  She'll just come and order early.

But then, coming off the top rope, is our friend who said she's just watching from a place close by her house.  She was the one who kind of threw a spanner in the works after I said we had to look for a different place.  I was kind of waiting for her to tell us which of several spots she said she has gone to she would be going to Saturday.  I didn't hear from her all week, and I have a duty to tell everyone where to go, so I made my decision that we're headed to St. Paul.  Well, fuckin' A, she texted everyone this evening that she decided on a place, and the one who was bitching about the time the kitchen at this place in St. Paul closes just says, "OK, I'm going with you!"  And I'm all, "Have fun!"

I have never seen a group of people in this alumni group ... well, undermine me like this.  We have never had this much ... well, arguing over where to go.  See, our main bar is in Minneapolis, and even though it's downtown and many people don't like to go downtown (supposedly because of the crime even though that's totally overblown), any inveighing over that choice has pretty much stopped.  Anyone who doesn't want to come downtown doesn't bitch about it anymore; they just don't come.  Now, we frequently have to go somewhere else.  Sometimes it's because the network our football team is on that week isn't carried by this Minneapolis bar.  We have had to find different places for years to find this network, and for the past couple we settled on this place in St. Paul.  This is our back-up bar, and we have been there, I now think, five times this season (if you include tomorrow/Saturday).  This time our team's on a network every bar has, but our main bar is hosting its monthly UFC pay-per-view event at the same damn time as our game.  It's a pain-in-the-ass to go to a back-up bar, but I feel as though people in our group have accepted this, too.

I thought that was going to be the case this week.  I mean, our football team isn't going to do anything special this year (even though we thought they would), and there are only two games left.  In short, I didn't think it'd be a big deal that we would go to St. Paul for a fifth time, even when I wasn't able to foresee until it was a bit late that our main bar was hosting a UFC PPV.  But suddenly it is a big deal.  What hurts even more is that the people I'm talking to are people who come to these events the most often.  I ask for their input because their opinions mean a lot to me.  What blindsided me is that they came up with all these new places I hadn't even heard of.  It's almost the end of the season; why can't we just go to a place we've been to before?  If they're so damn worried about finding a new place, we'll talk about it in the summer, or even the spring.  But you want to go to a new place now?

And I still don't know if any of them are committed to my decision to go to St. Paul.  It looks like two of them aren't coming: The one who gave me the silent treatment went to events last year but not this year, and the other who has been a mainstay the past few years, so her bailing like this also kind of hurts.  The other two?  I don't know.  The address of the place these two women are going to are closer to the residences of the other two than they are to St. Paul.  So if they go with them ... goddammit, I might be watching by myself in St. Paul.  And that would be fucking embarrassing.

Again, I don't mind going to a new place -- well, not as a main bar; this place in downtown Minneapolis has been a mainstay for us for a decade now, and I don't want to give that up.  But let's not go to a new place now.  It feels, however, as though all the regulars of the club -- of my club -- have decided that my decision sucks.  I feel disrespected, tbh.  Undermined, too.

If they won't understand my decision, what do I do now?

I touched on this last blog post, but I'll expound on it further.  Yesterday/Thursday morning was the third day I have woken up before my alarm went off since Sunday, when Daylight Saving Time ended.  I think my body clock is awakened by the sky lightening at around 6:30 a.m.

But here I am blog posted at 2 when I have to adjust my work schedule because I am in The Main Department today/Friday.  I hope I get enough rest on four hours of sleep.  I also wonder if I will magically wake up at 5:30 because my body has a sense of humor.

Like Herding Cats

I usually don't try to blog post so soon after my previous one because I want all of my blog posts, however short, to have its prominence as the first thing one sees on the top of Wailing And Failing.  I give myself eight hours at minimum between blog posts.  However, seeing as that 1) for the third day since Daylight Saving Time began (or did it end?  Fuck if I know) Sunday I've woken up much earlier than the alarm clock and 2) this problem is particularly vexing me, I have time to vent.  And I always set up Wailing And Failing as a way for me to vent.  Therefore, I will vent.

I run a group of alumni who watch our alma mater's football Games.  We have one main place to go to, in Minneapolis, but this Saturday it's going to be too busy for us to watch.  That usually means -- at least to me -- that we go to another place, in St. Paul, where we've been for a few Games.

I don't exactly know what the hold-up is this time around.  I thought we were going to go to the Minneapolis bar, but there's a big event there Saturday night.  I didn't catch it until I told everyone we were going to this bar, so technically I am still trying to get the word out about needing to go some place else.  I thought it would be to the St. Paul bar.  But, and maybe I'm responsible for this, I asked the people who come to these Games the most (we're in a group chat together) if they're OK with it.  Possibly a big mistake, because they're getting in their heads that they can go to a completely new place I haven't been to before.  And I think they are hesitating on going to the St. Paul bar because, get this, our Game is on really late and this St. Paul bar stop serving food relatively early.  That's freaking why.

And so what I thought was routine as it could be seeing that I had, ahem, "mistakenly" said we would be back in Minneapolis is now in a holding pattern.  They're asking one of the group who hasn't been to an event all year where she has gone this season.  She has gone to several places close to where she lives.  She doesn't know yet where she is going Saturday night.  And yet it seems as though the others are waiting, with bated breath, for her to decide.  This unknown place, apparently, is where they want to go.  But this damn Game is in two days, I need to tell everyone where we're all going, and I don't like the fact that 1) I haven't told anyone yet (well, besides the Alumni Association, and they're going to be pissed because I already told them we're going to St. Paul) and 2) I hate that we might go somewhere new on the penultimate Game of the season.  And, well, 3) I hate that these people haven't decided yet.

Do you know why I like doing things alone?  This is why I like doing things alone.  I am not in the cat-herding business.  I just wanted to meet up with fellow alums to watch our football team disappoint us.  And seemingly, this Week we can't bleepin' do that.

Addendum To: Even More Fucking Car Trouble

Welp, the mechanic I dropped my minivan off with (for four days) said indeed it was the alternator after all.  Thought the tow truck driver was adamant it wasn't that, but I have to trust these guys.  They got everything fixed by Tuesday afternoon, so I was able to get up early yesterday/Wednesday morning, go to the bus stop, wait an extra 10-5 minutes before my late bus arrived, then finally pick up the van.  I am about $600 lighter in my bank account, but I'm glad that the van is as good as it's ever going to be.

I have come to believe that having two cars at your disposal at all times is almost a necessity.  I need to stay mobile, and if one car is out of service, I will need another to get me around and/or let me have an active social life.  I was scared as hell that my car would break down while the van was at the car shop.  But the minivan is back, and I for one am relieved.

No Tool For Halloween

Week late, but I want to blog post this before I forget.

My usual thing I do for Halloween in order to avoid trick-or-treaters at my house is to go to Hooters and then a strip club.  Since my ATF at My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Edition) intimated she wasn't going to work that night and I shied away from going to the downtown clubs because downtown might have been crawling with partygoers, I decided to go to a coffeeshop to just work on my computer.  Those plans got all shot to hell because (and I think I already said this here on WAF) that shop closed early.  I drank a milkshake at the ice cream parlor next door.

But there was one completely different plan I was considering.  The alternative metal legend Tool had its concert that night at the Xcel Energy Center.  It seemed fitting that that group would be playing on Halloween.  Anyway, these guys don't play here every day; what would happen if something happened to one of the band members?  The arena should have been teeming with people who would be out somewhere else celebrating the holiday were it not for the show.  I don't really celebrate the holiday at all; why don't I go and catch them before I regret not catching them, I thought?

I finally decided against it.  For one thing, the cheapest price (bought firsthand) was $70.  And tied into that price is the fact that, well, I'm not a big fan of Tool.  I've heard "Stinkfist" a lot, but I can't say I'm familiar with the band's work.  So ultimately, I don't think I would've enjoyed myself, even if it was an excuse to avoid Halloween celebrants -- even though, come to think of it, I'm pretty sure Tool fans would have come dressed for the concert anyway.

---

This is the second time in 2023 I decided not to go to a concert on a holiday.  Fleet Foxes was playing at First Avenue on Independence Day (or Night, as it were).  I think I decided not to go for two reasons: One, I was afraid downtown Minneapolis would be gnarly out on Independence Night; and two, I don't think my parents would have liked me to go downtown on a big holiday, and I didn't want to start a fight with them about going out.

Well, Guess That Explains It

So the plan was to call the mechanic where I had my parents' minivan towed very early yesterday/Monday morning to reaffirm what I wrote on the envelope in which I put my key: I was driving Saturday when all of a sudden the battery light on my dashboard came on; I got to a safe space to park and turn off the car; I tried turning it on again but it wouldn't start; the tow truck driver gave me a jump-start and everything looked good.  I was going to strongly intimate that I think the only problem is that the cables aren't tight enough around the battery posts (and by the way, the battery is only a month old), and I shouldn't be charged for more than the winterizing the cables and battery ... although if they find something else with the van, let me know and I might approve that repair too.

These guys open at 7:30.  I actually woke up before then, even though I had set my alarm for 8.  (It's good to be able to wake up before you are woken up because that way you know your body is ready to be awake.)  I called at 7:45, but I didn't get an answer.  OK, they probably are running a little late.  I go get coffee on my way to work and I call again.  I get voicemail again, and this time I leave a message.  I then wait until around 12:30 to call, and no one is picking up.  I leave another VM, but this time I speak in a passive-aggressive tone because, at this point, I'm freaking the fuck out.

You must have the perception of car repairmen as greasy, skeevy, creepy losers who are always out to rip you off by bullying you into paying for repairs you don't need.  I never got the idea that these guys are that type of people, but why in the hell aren't they picking up their phone on a Monday when they say that they are open on Mondays?  Could there have been an emergency of some sort?  Had the phone system they have somehow broken down?  Did they lock themselves out of the shop?

If, in the worst-case scenario, they suddenly closed permanently, I would be so fucked.  The key I use I slipped into the building.  I can't find the spare key, and I sure as fuck don't want to ask my parents where it is because I don't want them knowing I am paying for repairs to their van.  If I somehow need to pay for a second tow, I would need a key to get into the van so I can help steer the van onto the tow bed.  And, oh yeah, I need a key to drive it, assuming it ever gets fixed.

With my day ruined because my mind was filled only with anxiety over this silent treatment, I had to drop by the shop (for the third day in a row) to see just what the hell is going on.  The van was still there, exactly right where the tow truck driver and I placed it.  I wanted to peer through the windows to make sure all the equipment was still there.  But then I saw a sign on the front door.  They were closed yesterday/Monday as well as Friday because they were on a family vacation.  They return to work today/Tuesday.

Well -- yeah, that makes total sense.  Of course no one would return my calls.  And why's a little family time the matter?  I was in such an angry and yet strung out state when the van got towed on Saturday (I had my alma mater's football Game to watch in the evening) that I completely missed the sign that said the mechanics are taking Friday and Monday off.  Whoops!  Well, at least there's an explanation.

I No Longer Shit Green Shit

Yeah, I know you've been waiting with bated breath about the change in color of my feculent.  Well, it's all normal now.  When the minivan broke down Saturday afternoon and the anxiety that welled up in me compelled me to evacuate my bowels (which I did in a bathroom on the St. Thomas campus, and thank goodness there was a building on campu open), my stool was back to its normal color, of red.  No, I'm kidding, it's the color of poop.  So whether it was diarrhea or an excess of iron or something else, it appears now to be out of my system.  Phew!

Even More Fucking Car Trouble

OK, so that Tommies women's volleyball Match I was going to go to?  Heh-heh -- about that ...

I left the Black Hart to go to St. Thomas when I saw, of all the goddamn things, the scary battery light come on on the dash of my parents' minivan.  I was hoping that this isn't my worst fears coming true.  But as I was driving, the radio died, then the air conditioning.  My God.

And the damndest thing of all this was that I was still somehow able to drive.  I didn't know how long I had, and that scared the shit out of me.  But it helped that I wasn't too far away from campus.  Moreover, I was able to accelerate and brake, even though I was trying to be slow just in case I completely lost power.  But I was able to drive a couple miles.  Got to where I wanted to go, in fact, where I would have parked if, you know, I was going to the Game instead of needing to figure out what the fuck is going on.  I turned into a side street where there was plenty of street parking and turned off the minivan.  Just to be sure, I tried turning it back on, and it was like about a month ago, where the old battery died.  (Hey, have I blog posted about me changing the battery on the minivan?  I don't think so!)

Well of course my plans get fucked.  Thank God I'm with AAA, and thank God for the tow truck driver.  Yeah, this guy seemed kind of weird, but in my experience all tow truck drivers are weird.  So what?  They are there for you in your most acute times of need.  Well, I had to wait three hours, and that was fucking excruciating, but I was safe.  And even though I didn't get that before-game-watching nap I needed before seeing my alma mater shit the bed (again), I did get home safely after the van was towed to my preferred car shop.

And yet I am still nervous.  I trust the guys I've been to the past two times, but it's been only two times, and it was for my car.  Also, the van is just on the parking lot, and the shop is just 15 minutes away but closer to downtown Minneapolis.  After the game last/Saturday night and after work this/Sunday afternoon, I actually drove by the shop, which is closed on the weekends, to make sure the van is still there and hasn't been vandalized or anything.  It seems to be totally fine as I drove past it, but anything can happen on a Sunday night.

I am thinking that because I tied the battery down with just a wrench, it's the cables that just got a little loose.  The tow truck driver jump-started the battery; the minivan turned on just fine, and the alternator was reading as perfect.  I'm not too proud that I couldn't screw those cables in tight.  But I'm really scared that the mechanics are going to say that it's the alternator, or it's the starter, or some other lie.  I love getting my cars fixed because of the feeling I get of being restored, but there's always a fear in the back of my mind that I'm getting screwed over, too.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -6).  Bounced back from getting swept at Ohio St. by sweeping a home-and-home with Minnesota State-Mankato this weekend.  Of course ... or is it?  The results are 3-1 at Ridder Friday and 2-1 in Mankato Saturday.  This might be a sign that the Golden Gophers, despite earning the top spot in the survey this screening Week, don't really have "it" this season.  Or, it's a sign that top-flight women's college hockey is starting to flatten and the days of the bluebloods knocking around the dregs of Division I are over.

Who knows?  Tangentially, I don't know where I would place Minnesota-Duluth, a school that has won NCAA titles in the past but have fallen off over the past decade or so.  The U. goes up there for a two-Game set next weekend.

#-2: Vikings (Last Week: -1).  It's always satisfying to see the Vikes go into Lambeau Field and leave with a pretty decisive Win -- 24-10, a double-digit victory that is rare.  And yet it feels like a loss because of what the club lost: Quarterback Kirk Cousins, putting together yet another fantastic season after coming off possibly his best season ever, planted his foot to scramble and tore his Achilles tendon.  Obviously, he's out for the year.  And now Minnesota, who had lost three-of-four to start the year but has climbed to a 4-4 record, will have to continue to turn its season around without their steady, once-invulnerable QB.

So backup Jaren Hall will start this/Sunday afternoon at Atlanta.  In filling in for Cousins he didn't look great.  But this is a Falcons team that just changed QBs from greenhorn Desmond Ridder to the underappreciated Taylor Heinicke.  A team that wants to reach the postseason finds a way to beat squads like this, even with a second-string play-caller.  Will the Vikings?

#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: -3).  On Monday they scored 79 Points in the First Half and led the Hawks in Atlanta by 19 at Halftime, then got blasted by the Hawks 67-34 to go from a blowout to getting blown out.  No team has gone from that big of a lead to that big of a margin of defeat in NBA history.  But when it comes to getting blown out, the Timberwolves seem to have more than their share of NBA all-time records.

The next Game, vs. the defending champion (and undefeated) Denver Nuggets, were coming to town.  Off such a demoralizing Loss that has been so familiar to Wolves fans, we didn't think the Woofie Dogs had a chance.  But you know, there is talent there.  And maybe they recognize how much they fucked up and really, really want to show that they're better than that.  Plus, let's face it, the Nugz don't have to play 100% for this early-season contest.  The added motivation by Minnesota plus the perceived lack of motivation by Denver meant a Game where the Timberwolves raced out to a huge lead and, this time, kept it, defeating the Nuggets going away, 110-89.  I was at the tilt and I was surprised that I didn't see too many Pick-and-rolls with Nikola Jokic and Jamal Murray.  I thought that move was unstoppable for them last Year as they won the championship, but for some reason I didn't see it.  Meanwhile, Jaden McDaniels locked down Murray really, really well, and at some point early in the Fourth Quarter Nuggets Head Coach Mike Malone waved the white flag by pulling Murray.

That Win was nice, but like before, these Woofs have often followed big Wins over really good clubs with bad Losses to shitty teams.  That didn't happen last/Saturday night at Target Center.  Instead, they kept The Bastard New Orleans Jazz beyond arm's reach as they beat them, 123-95.  This squad needs to stack Wins in order to show the world they mean business.  They'll attempt to extend their winning streak, and finish their four-Game homestand, versus Boston tomorrow/Monday and The Bastard Charlotte Hornets Wednesday.  They then begin In-Season Tournament play at Victor Wembanyama and The San Antonio Spurs Friday.

#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -7).  Split a home-and-home with Minnesota-Duluth over the weekend -- crushed the Bulldogs at Mariucci on Friday, 5-1, but lost in a Shootout in Duluth last/Saturday night.  I think the U. has now won only four of the last 19 Matches against the Bulldogs.  I think that's a plausible stat, and I'm still blown away.

At Michigan for two beginning Friday.

#-5: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -4).  My worst fears -- and prediction -- were realized when they got swept at Wisconsin last Sunday afternoon.  It's a bit more embarrassing -- and therefore I sink this club a little lower in this WMNSS -- because that defeat was broadcast on over-the-air TV, namely Fox/Channel 9, right after the early NFL Game.  It obviously mustered record viewership for top-flight women's volleyball, but now the perception for anyone who tuned in is that the Golden Gophers suck.  They might, but hopefully it's just this Year and not, you know permanent.

They rebounded by beating Ohio St. on the road Friday in four Sets.  They visit Northwestern this/Sunday afternoon (this one will not be broadcast on Channel 9), then host ranked Purdue Friday.

#-6: Wild (Last Week: -5).  Can't quite believe the long-term injury to Defenseman Jared Spurgeon would blow such a hole in the Mild's Defense.  They lost both ends of a home-and-home versus The Bastard Colorado Rockies, and started off down 3-0 against The New York Rangers at the X.  But somehow they woke up and came back to take a 4-3 lead in the Third Period, then won in a Shootout.  Unfortunately, they're still next-to-last in The Central Division and face a Week where they're visiting the state of New York: At the Islanders Tuesday, the return date against the Rangers Thursday, in Buffalo Friday.

#-7: Gopher football (Last Week: -2).  It's as though this team and program are stuck in quicksand.  Illinois, on paper, is an eminently beatable foe, and while it was touch-and-go at Huntington Bank Stadium yesterday/Saturday afternoon, they managed to take a late lead.  But then The Fighting Illini scored on a 46-Yard Touchdown Pass with 50 Seconds to go to win it.  Bret Bielema, whether coaching Illinois or Wisconsin, is a perfect 10-0 over the Goofers.  He certainly has made them his bitch.  And by self-dealing his squad a big blow in the dumb scramble for the lead in the Big Ten West (in its last season, BTW, and may God have mercy on its mediocre soul), its another itch that P. J. Fleck and the U. athletic program have to itch.  Yes, this program has never had a higher profile nor achieved as much sustained success before (well, maybe the Glen Mason years, but maybe not).  But no program just wants to reach a plateau of good; you're always striving for a championship-winning team.  Is Fleck the guy to lead Minnesota to that promised land?  Every winnable Game that he loses is more evidence he is not.  And it's really starting to feel as though this relationship has run its course.

At Purdue Saturday.

Should I Go To A Tommies Game When They Suck?

I had thought about going to the St. Thomas women's volleyball Match at noon.  But I wonder if I should go anywhere because it's getting cold out and I just want to snuggle at home, you know?  But my alma mater plays later in the evening, so I can't really cocoon at home, and since I'm going out tonight, I might as well go out today too, right?

I don't know why I didn't check this until this morning; how good is the team.  Turns out, terribly; they're next to last in the Summit League.  That's enough incentive for me not to go.  But then I remembered going to a Tommies men's soccer Match.  I think it was against Lindenwood, and St. Thomas managed to win that one, 2-0, but they were also terrible, but that didn't stop me then.

Add that I could probably make it out to see some EPL Matches at the Black Hart at 10 a.m., and then I can leave early to get to the Tommies gym (which I've never been to), and if they get swept I can get home, eat Arby's, and get my nap in before leaving again in the evening ... well, why not go.  Finally, I should say that I slept really early last evening and I woke up just now all refreshed, so hey, what the hell, I'm going to go.

I Shit Green Shit

So for Halloween, after eating at Hooters (where my food was comped because they were so short-staffed and hey, I loved the waitresses dressed up as a midriff-bearing cheerleader and as sexy Austin Powers -- man, any boys getting served by the latter and seeing her heaving cleavage up close turned into men that night), I wanted to just chill and go to a coffeeshop to work on my receipts.  Unfortunately they closed in the evening, so I went next door to Bebe Zito and got myself the Halloween- (and Rolling Stone-) themed Paint It, Black Shake with black whip cream, sour candy crunch and something called "strawrazz sauce."  I liked it, even though I didn't really like the $12 price tag.  But hey, it's Halloween.

So either the wings and shrimp I ate at Hooters or the shake, or both, did a number on me, because as soon as I got home, I had a bowel movement.  But the freakiest damn thing that's happened to me in a while happened.  As soon as I felt I was done pooping, I wiped my ass and -- don't tell me you never look -- I saw that it was green.  Not your usual brown, but green.  The diarrhea continued through Wednesday morning, and I kept shitting green shit.

I would be scared, uh, shitless if I didn't feel good, but I do.  Well, I'm kind of grumpy, but I usually am, but otherwise I feel fine.  I think my discolored crap is further confirmation of my lactose intolerance.  Anything that has lactose doesn't get absorbed into my system, so I just shit it out.  And maybe because I ate/drank a wild, discolored and Halloween-themed dairy product, my stool came out Halloween-themed as well?

Nature hasn't called since Wednesday.  I haven't eaten any shakes or foods with weird colors since Tuesday night.  I hope I've been able to void the green shit out of myself.  But if I haven't ... uh, I don't know what to do then.  And now that I am about to publish this blog post, I feel something in my digestive system.  Let's hope it actually looks like poop!!!