Can't Sugarcoat It -- Today's Been A Bad Day

The traitors of the Russia Party in the Senate just voted to not hear witnesses.  The vote was 51-49.  Lamar Alexander of Tennessee said no.  I didn't know I should have been upset about his vote until last night, but there you have it.  There was a very small chance the vote could've gone 50-50, thus punting the decision to Chief Justice John Roberts, but Lisa Murkowski let Roberts off the hook by saying no this morning.  Trump will be acquitted scot-free, and then he'll feel the power to do anything he wants.

Oh, and at 5 o'clock Central Time the United Kingdom officially left the European Union.  The racists and the stupid won ... with the help of Russian interference and, I still believe, vote-rigging.  There are a lot of British who are sad, but I have to be honest: I want the EU to punish the UK for this move - tariffs, delays in shipments, making UK visits wait a long time in EU airports, everything.  (There are already deals in place that essentially keep the same rules as they were when the UK was in the EU, which is bullshit even though both sides want a "smooth transition period" [wanking motion].)  They can't get away with this.  Oh, and Scotland and Northern Ireland should throw a tantrum in order to leave England.

Finally, something personal.  I heard just before I left work that a co-worker was fired.  I liked working with her, even though (circling back to politics) she's a MAGAt.  I was told she was canned because of "attendance issues."  What does that mean?  I saw her at work all the time.

So yeah, today's been a bad day, a very bad one.

Is This Something??

Oh, should talk about this.

At work, when we have morning break (which is just an hour after I come in, oy), I usually just go get coffee, then go to the bathroom and read through the Internet while sitting on the toilet.  Sometimes my bowels need an hour to get going.  It's a good system.

Anyway, for the past, uh, week-plus (?), whenever I've been in the toilet trying to take a dump, I have, no joke, felt, just once, as if a drop of water has fallen on the extreme left side of my left thigh.  In fact, I feel like two drops of water fall, on the same two spots of my extreme left thigh.  I feel those spots after I "feel" the drops, but there is no water, and I look up at the ceiling, and there are no leaks coming from above.  Plus, I only "feel" these drops of water during morning break at work, and nowhere else.

I would check for something like that on WebMD, but it'd say it's, like, sign of a fuckin' stroke or something.  I'm just going to brush it off because it only happens at a specific place, but if it's more than that, well, you know where you heard it here first.

Got to go to work.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -8).  There isn't a whole hell of a lot to be proud of in Twin Cities sports this week.  But at least give some dap to the University of Minnesota men's hockey team.  After getting humiliated by the U.S.A. U-18 team, they swept Ohio St. at Mariucci last weekend by a combined score of 10-4.  It doesn't help them at all in the PairWise, but hey, I don't know if these guys are going to top the survey the rest of the year.

At Wisconsin this weekend.

#-2: Wild (Last Week: -3).  They beat Detroit before the All-Star Break, but right now, according to Dom L. (he has a long last name) at The Athletic, the Mild have a 30% chance of making the playoffs.  In other words, they have no chance.

They're finishing up their "bye week" now, but they'll be back in action for home dates vs. Boston Saturday and Chicago Tuesday.

#-3: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -2).  Marcus Carr hit a Game-winning Three with about three Seconds left to escape Ohio St. with a 62-59 victory Thursday, but then they came back home Sunday afternoon and got slaughtered by Michigan St., 70-52.  But things are looking up, however.  ESPN.com's Joe Lunardi has the U. in the Play-In Game.  They weren't on the board at all before now.  And they can improve their stock with the only Game they'll have this screening week, a road contest against Illinois Thursday.

#-4: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -5).  I've said all year that this women's college hockey season will, like last season, boil down to Golden Gophers vs. Wisconsin.  I still feel that way, but after getting swept in Madison this past weekend, I think the Badgers, sadly, have an advantage on the U., albeit by half a step.

You see, while the Gophs took a "clean" loss Saturday, 3-0 (ick), they lost just 52 Seconds into the First Overtime of the Friday match, 5-4.  You may remember the two-Game series these two clubs had at Ridder Arena in November.  That second match, on Sunday, Nov. 3, eventually was won by Minnesota, but only after a Shootout.  Once you reach the Second Overtime, both teams earn at least a Point.  So, while the road Badgers were able to nick a Point back in November, the road Gophers came back home Pointless this past weekend.  That makes me believe that in a winner-take-all title Game, Wisconsin is the better team.

Well, back to beating overmatched programs; they host Minnesota-Duluth for two this weekend.

#-5: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -1).  Lost at home Sunday night to Ohio St., 22-13.  And these guys were once ranked third overall, what a goddamn joke.  At the Indiana schools this weekend.

#-6: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -4).  Yeah, the wheels have fallen off this team -- and maybe this program -- this week after blowout losses at home to Wisconsin and in Indiana.  They are now completely off the tourney grid of Charlie Creme's (ESPN.com) Bracketology.  Now they're just trying to cling to the fuckin' WNIT (wanking motion).

This week they're at The Barn for tilts versus Nebraska and Rutgers.

#-Infinity: Timberwolves (Last Week: -7).  OK, so I thought the Mild's loss recently to Florida was The Worst Loss By A Local Sports Team In Recent Memory.  But then on Monday the Timberwolves said, "Hold my overpriced beer."

Since the National Basketball Association began covering such a statistic in the 1996-7 season, a team has never come back to win if that team was down by at least 17 with three Minutes or less left in regulation.  There have been 8,378 occasions, and in none of those occasions has the trailing team come back to win.

But history has never met the Minnesota Timberwolves.  Just watch this fucking bullshit -- because I can't:



I've been aware of the Woofs since its birth, and this is, by far, The Worst Loss In Franchise History. Moreover, even though I wasn't even alive when the Minneapolis Lakers were here, I will say with certainty that this is, by far, The Worst Loss In Minnesota Professional Basketball History. And, it goes without saying, this is, by far, The Worst Choke Job In NBA History.

They were celebrating the life of Kobe Bryant, who died along with his daughter and seven others the day before. (I was at work, listening to the Maryland-Indiana Game on satellite radio. The Terrapins announcer, who has been there for three decades, announced the crash, though not the death of Bryant. But I immediately went online and Googled it; TMZ may have been first with the announcement, but I saw that Adrian Wojnarowski tweeted his death, and that's when I believed it.) If Black Mamba were alive today and saw this shit, I know he would've done this:



The General Manager is in his first year, so I stick with my principle that all first years by GMs or Head Coaches are mulligans. But for fuck's sake, it's not too much to ask that a team, even as putrid as the Timberpuppies, fucking keep a 17-Point lead with three Minutes left. I hate relocation, but right now, if this team were being taken to Seattle, I'd say, take 'em.

They have Games coming up but blah-blah-blah, they've lost ten in a row and they fucking blow.

The Old Car Is At It Again

With my parents gone, I made a point of using the old car from time to time to make sure it goes through its paces and the engine gets used and the impurities in the oil get burned up.  It's not a great car, and it certainly has had its better days.  But ever since the fateful day five years ago when the head gasket blew up, it has driven pretty well.  I'm not aware of any of the problems that would have stressed me into immediately taking it into a shop, but I am believing that the car drives pretty well.

Well, not lately.

I will tell you this: It may have turned a corner (maybe temporarily, maybe not) about a month or so ago.  Besides acceleration issues and the tachometer not working (have I blogged about that?  No matter), the car gets me around town.  (My parents insisted we take this car when I dropped them off at the airport, and I'm still amazed it survived in one piece.)  However, one afternoon after work I was coming home from the bank.  It's afternoon rush, and I need to make a right turn.  After I nose myself to get a better look at oncoming traffic, I see that the car is just far enough away for me to make a run for it.  So I put the pedal down on the car.  Again, it doesn't accelerate well, but everything else about the car was just fine, so I thought I could push it a bit.

Turns out that seems to have been the wrong thing to do.  Ever since that moment the car has not been acting well.  It does get me around, but the performance has taken a sizable hit.  Not only does it not accelerate well, it appears to begin to shake around second or third gear (which is, like 40-50 mph).  And even though it may just be the cold, the shaking has also spread to uneven idling, which also did not happen (or at least did not happen as badly) before.

Oh, and it is still leaking, and possibly more so now.  Last night I started shoveling the few inches of snow we got and that I didn't bother to shovel just after it fell.  There are drops of ... fluid from old car, and so I made sure I parked it on top of snow so 1) the fluid would not seep into the asphalt driveway and 2) I could see what fluid it was based on the color.  I parked the old car (after getting home from exercising) at a different spot so I could see the drips.  And even though it was night, it looks as though the leak is colored red ... which means transmission ... which I kind of tortured when I accelerated fast in order to beat the oncoming traffic after my trip to the bank.

Wonder if I should tell my parents.  In the meantime, I cross my fingers every time I turn the car on.

Just want to note that for the past couple days, my feet have stunk to high hell.  Don't know how it happened, but they do.  I take off my socks and it's like, "Whew!"

Maybe I should wash my feet, or spray fungicide to my shoes.  Nah, probably won't.

Mmm, Sushi With A Side Of Snot!

Last night, for Chinese New Year's Day, I saw late (like, yesterday morning?) that the Minnesota Whitecaps, defending NWHL/Isobel Cup champions and currently second in the league, is hosting the Boston Pride, who not only are leading the NWHL but are perfect on the season at 19-0.  #2 hosting #1, with a Saturday Game at 6 and plenty of tickets available?  I'll make a night of it!

It was a hell of a match.  The 'Caps scored to take the lead only for the Pride to tie it up not once, not twice, but three times, the last of which in the final Minute of regulation.  But on the ensuing faceoff, a Whitecaps player (sorry, I forget her name!) steamed in and fired a shot that got past the Pride Goalie, and, like, seven Seconds after the Boston tying Goal and with less than 50 Seconds left in the Game, Minnesota went back ahead.  And it was a lead they were able to hold on to: 4-3, your final.

You're not supposed to eat meat for New Year's Day, but since I usually have a hot dog at a sporting event, I followed up that hot dog with another one at Kyatchi on the other side of St. Paul.  It came recommended on a recent story in City Pages.  And it was good ... and then, because I was making a night of it, I followed it with pressed sushi, which I decided to get because the restaurant posted a blurb of its City Pages Best Sushi win from last year between its double doors and it came recommended.  Don't know if I should have; it kind of fell apart when I dunked it in the soy sauce, and now I feel really full this morning.

Oh, and I do this thing where I use all the wasabi given to me, even though you're not supposed to, because I was beaten to thinking I can't waste my food.  And so I dunk the pressed sushi, ate it, and immediately my nostrils flared to the point where I was producing snot like the country needed it for war.  And so I blew my nose and put it aside ... and then, when I was ready to eat the, like, fourth of six pieces, I saw that the snot-filled rag I just blew my nose in was resting perfectly on my plate of pressed sushi, right up against two of the three remaining pieces.  I swear I thought I was putting it on an empty plate that was right above this plate, but I didn't.  And right now I can't stop thinking that I ate two pieces of pressed sushi with snot on it.

I blame the wasabi.  I got so delirious and disoriented and I didn't know where I was throwing my tissue.

I'm going to get sick again.

Maybe I Should Just Turn In My Chinese Card

Just realized this this past week.

So I had that early Chinese New Year's dinner at my aunt and uncle's place, right?  Well, as we were leaving, I said "Happy New Year!" to my aunt in Chinese.

Except that I didn't say it.  Turns out, I realized this past week, I wished my aunt, "Merry Christmas!"

So that's why she hesitated just for a nanosecond before wishing me a Happy Chinese New Year.

My cousin and his (Chinese) friend were there, too.  They knew I fucked up.

I might as well just turn in my Chinese card now.

---

Oh, Merry Christmas Happy Lunar New Year, everybody.

So it's Chinese New Year, and because I want to be a faithful Chinese person, last night I stayed up to look up Chinese New Year's traditions so I know what to do.

So, one thing I am doing is wearing red today.  One thing I am not doing is showering tomorrow, Chinese New Year's.  Which sucks, because I planned on exercising on my day off, and now I can't.

Maybe I'll do it today, when is acceptable.  But I plan on going out tonight and staying up (another thing to do for CNY) I don't know if I can do both.  Plus I'll be tired from work, so I don't know if I'll even have the energy to stay up.

So, yeah, being Chinese is effing with my plans right now.

A Little Wine

Drinking a bottle of wine because ... well, I might flesh out the reason some other time.  Anyway, I had a glass to go with leftovers from the dinner I had at my aunt's place back on Saturday, which was an early Chinese New Year's dinner.  And since I had an early shift yesterday, and I didn't take a nap after I got home from work, I was hoping that the wine, you know, would make me sleepy.

And it did.  Ate my dinner late, around 8:30, maybe a little later.  Got done, felt, uh, dizzy, around 9:30, so I went to bed.  Woke up at 4:30, according to my watch, but I went back to bed, and before I knew it, I heard my alarm at 6.

So the wine did its job.  And you know what else knocks you out good?  NyQuil.  I don't think I need it, even though I've felt sort-of foggy a couple times so far this winter.  But really, if you take it, it'll knock you out cold for a good night's sleep.  It's probably not good to be dependent on wine and NyQuil to go to sleep, but it works!

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -2).  Let me start off by saying that this screening week may be the most confounding screening week I've ever had in compiling The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey.  Every single team on this list this week has lost at least one Game.  On top of that, most of these teams have won at least once this week as well.  Finally, believe it or not, I can find some upside to each of these squads.  Frankly, I can see some good that happened to each of the teams this week, save the last one.  I could be accused of scraping the bottom of the barrel to (paraphrasing Monty Python's Life of Brian [RIP, Terry Jones]) look on the bright side of life.  This goes to show how shitty this sports winter is going to be, even moreso than past bad winters.

In order to rank these woebegone clubs for this week's WMNSS, I am balancing a lot of things, and I know that I will not be applying my standards evenly across the teams.  It's just too difficult.  Nevertheless, I have decided that the Gopher grapplers gain the #-1 spot this week.  They split their two Duals, beating Michigan St. and losing to Michigan.  I saw that the Gophers were #3 in "the polls," but I see on Intermat that they're now 14th, which makes me think that #3 ranking is bullshit.  However, both of those contests were on the road, so a road loss, while disappointing, is always understandable, while a road victory, especially for this program, is an honorable notch.  And in a scuffling group of nobodies the Twin Cities is saddled with, that is good enough to be at the top of the dung heap this time around.

Home to Ohio St. Sunday night, a Dual that looks like it'll be broadcast live on the Big Ten Network.

#-2: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -4).  Squeaked by Penn St., then lost to Rutgers.  Why is this team which split its two Games second?  Well, the win over the Nittany Lions was at home, while the loss to the Scarlet Knights (who reached the Top 25 for the first time since 1979) was on the road.  Therefore, this club experienced two understandable results.  Moreover, Joe Lunardi of ESPN.com now has the U. as Team 69; not too long ago they were part of the Penultimate Four Out.  So while this was a choppy screening week, the trajectory is trending upward.

Oh, and Daniel Oturu is a fucking beast.

This week will be a challenge.  On Thursday they had to Ohio St., which was ranked in the Top 5 earlier this year but has lost, like, four in a row.  Then on Sunday afternoon they host Michigan St., who routed them by 16 in East Lansing on the 9th.

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -7).  They outlasted Tampa, then beat the ever-livin' shit out of The Bastard North Stars, 7-0, in the nightcap to Hockey Day Minnesota, which is very gratifying.  But in what may be the most humiliating loss any local team has suffered in the past twelve months, the Mild had a 4-3 lead on Florida Monday, lost the lead with four Minutes left in the Game, and then lost the Game on a Panthers deflected Goal with, like, 5.4 Seconds left.  To go from two Points to zero, like that, at home, is downright emasculating, and that probably puts the kibosh on any playoff hopes these guys have.

I talk about this with the Timberwolves below, but as a mirror image -- what are the Mild trying to accomplish?  Are they in win-now mode?  Are they trying to rebuild?  The contracts the franchise is playing its players gives them no wiggle room, yet the players are obviously not good enough to be even a contender for a playoff spot.  Where is this team going?  Because this limbo is worse than actively tanking, because tanking is at least going to give you a good draft pick.

They host historically shitty Detroit tonight/Wednesday night before 1) All-Star Weekend and then 2) their bye week.

#-4: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -8).  OK, what the fuck is going on with the University of Minnesota women's basketball team?  Destiny Pitts, the Gophers' leading scorer, was suspended for two Games and then, last week, Pitts announced she was transferring.  Her explanation on Instagram was semi-professional, semi-burn-booky.  She wished nothing but the best for Head Coach Lindsay Whalen, but claimed she was benched due to "poor body language" and that she was going to go an environment that supported her.  (For her part, Whalen just wished Pitts the best.)  There was a rumor I heard on KFAN that Pitts gave Whalen the finger.  I have yet to hear substantiation to that rumor.

The second Game Pitts was suspended for was a 76-75 loss to Iowa at home on Thursday, the team's fifth straight defeat.  On Sunday they went to Purdue, and this time, even though they were officially without Pitts, the squad got back both Bello twins, who were suspended alongside Pitts (they are friends) for, as it turns out, having Pitts's back -- on what exactly, I have not seen an explanation.  Somehow, the Gophers pulled away in the Second Half and routed the Boilermakers on their home court, 72-59.

The only saving grace these players have is that, according to Charlie Creme, Minnesota is still in the NCAA Tournament.  They're dropping like an anchor, but right now the U.'s Team 63, aka The Penultimate Team In.  Is the transfer of Pitts addition by subtraction, and has Whalen found a new scheme she thinks works best for her team?  Because I cannot see how either Bello twin does not just follow Pitts out of Dinkytown -- and if that's the case, Whalen has, get this, just six players on the team.  Happy they ended their losing streak, but this locker room can still be a damn mess.

The team hosts Wisconsin tonight/Wednesday night.  They then visit Indiana Monday.

#-5: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1).  It still feel as though this will eventually come down to Minnesota vs. Wisconsin in the championship Game, even though Cornell, of all teams, got a first-place vote in this week's poll.  But you cannot drop Games at home.  And Minnesota did, on Friday, to Ohio St., and how -- 4-1?!?!?!   Sure, they came back to beat the Buckeyes 2-1 the following afternoon on Parade Park in Minneapolis, which served as this program's contribution to Saturday's Hockey Day Minnesota.  But the damage has been done; the formerly top-ranked Gophers fell behind the Badgers, again.  And it just so happens that this squad travels to Madison this weekend for a two-Game series versus said Badgers, the second (and final) series of #1 versus #2 this season.

#-6: Lynx (Re-Entry!).  News came late this (Wednesday) afternoon: Superstar and Lynx legend Maya Moore will sit out a second consecutive year to continue to help exonerate a prisoner she believes was wrongly convicted.

Pardon me for being cynical.  Her sabbatical began last year, shortly after the Lynx and the WNBA classified her as a "core player," meaning they would begin to apply salary rules that Moore did not like.  I'm not saying Moore just found a reason not to negotiate with the Lynx and the league.  I am saying that, if she were traded to, say, her hometown Atlanta Dream, we'd see her suit up this upcoming season.

I'm not crushed at her staying away.  If anything, the ripple effects of her absence were felt last year, when the Lynx were one-and-done.  But the new players on the team seem to be good contributors, and the Lynx will have a decent first-round draft pick coming in, so it's not as if she has left the franchise an empty cupboard or anything.  There are worse situations to be in; see below.

#-7: Timberwolves (Last Week: -6).  A home-and-home sweep at the hands of Indiana, then losses to Toronto and Denver, both at Target Center.  This sorry squad has lost six in a row.  So, why aren't these guys at the bottom?

Well, that's a good question.  They traded away Jeff Teague this week -- to Atlanta, the team in which he made his career.  He was the Point Guard who was supposed to be perfect in Tom Thibodeau's scheme, and so his presence was a bad memory for those fans who was witness to a promising administration going sideways.  Moreover, he was a bad fit with Karl-Anthony Towns, the man this organization has to build around.  KAT plays in the post, yet Teague was a shitty passer to players down in the blocks.  And Towns got increasingly pissed whenever Teague just wouldn't give him the ball.  KAT was injured for the past several Games, but in the first Game after Teague was traded away, guess who suited up -- and scored 28 Points to go along with eight Rebounds?

There's one other dimension to this that I have yet to touch on this season.  General Manager Gersson Rosas was determined to instill a new culture with this franchise, one that got with the analytical times of the NBA.  The mid-range jumper is now a sin; these Woofie Dogs are going to shoot the three like they need air to breathe.  And as of press time, they're attempting 39.3 Three per Game, third-most in the association.  But they're only making 32.4% of those Threes; only Atlanta is worse.

You know what?  I don't think Rosas cares, and I don't think it matters.  Because you are instilling a culture.  Where you just repeat the same thing, over and over, until you get it right ... or Rosas finds someone else who can do it.  To that end, maybe Alan Crabbe, the player the Wolves get back from the Hawks for Teague, can help out; he's known as a maven behind the arc.  Shit, if he's even mediocre, he's going to be the best marksman on the team!  Bottom line: Rosas understands that the Timberwolves have some serious wising up to do, and it's not going to get completed this season.  But these players had better start now.

Another busy four-Game week: A quick jaunt to Chicago tonight for a battle vs. the Bulls, then a three-Game homestand against Houston, Oklahoma City, and Sacramento.

#-8: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -5).  Yeah, these guys were playing in an exhibition, so I can't tell if these guys, you know, actually tried.  But fuckin' Christ, man, they were playing the USA Hockey Under-18 team ... a bunch of fuckin' high-schoolers.  And they lost, 2-1.  Now how am I supposed to think this program is getting their shit together when they can't beat a bunch of kids who can't vote?

Home to Ohio St. for a pair this weekend.

I Might Be Liking This Paid Time Off Thing

I have, like, ten total hours of paid time off right now.  My company gives me about 2 1/4 hours at the top of every Sunday.  That number is determined only by the time you have worked at the company, no matter how much overtime you may have pulled in the previous work.  So even though I worked, like, 60 hours once, I still get 2 1/4 hours beginning every Sunday.

I didn't like using it when I planned on working a whole day.  Therefore, the past holiday seasons, where work was so slight that I was "strongly encouraged" to use it, I did so through gritted teeth.  There will be times I want to flat-out take a friggin' vacation, and that's when I alone will decide when to take paid time off.  And I don't being told what to do, especially when it comes to a valuable, flexible item such as paid time off.  And on top of all that, there were several days when I was "strongly encouraged" to go.  I managed to hang on for eight hours a couple times, and the other times I had to take it.  And that's how I wound up with just eight hours this time of year.

With that being said ... today is the day after MLK Day.  Yesterday was a federal holiday.  We get a lot of work from federal agencies.  And the urine samples usually take a day to get here.  So, if all those agencies were closed yesterday, that means there is no work today.  And so, before afternoon break, one of my supervisors gave us the chance to use our paid time off and take off early.

Normally, I wouldn't take the bait.  Paid time off is my time to take.  But ... well, first of all, it looks as though the other two-plus hours today would be spent cleaning, and I don't do that at home.  Second, I realized this morning that I am technically filling in a shift for someone who starts her day at 6.  Combine that with me wanting to see Just Mercy and watching The Conners and Bless This Mess.  The only way to see all three things is to see the movie at 9:20, which would let out around midnight.  If I have start my day tomorrow at 6, I have to wake up at 5, which means I would get around five hours of sleep.  And normally I do only get five hours of sleep, but I'd rather not.  Finally, well, I haven't blogged yet today.

I had an inkling that we would be let out early today because of MLK.  So I researched and Just Mercy has a screening at 2:30.  So that's how I'm blogging this at home right now, and scooting over to the movie in a half-hour, and then having the entire evening to myself to rest up for an early shift tomorrow (which I will not do because I will probably just stay up instead).  And that's because I used my paid time off.

Hey, maybe using it may not be all that bad.

Got Six Weeks Left!

Mother called me after work today -- they're coming home early March!

Woo-hoo!  I have six weeks left for this house all to myself ... and I haven't done shit!

Woo-hoo!

Found A New Whore!

Oh yeah, I should update y'all on what happened at the party.

So yeah, I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to orgasm for the third time in five days, and from the behest of a stripper for the second time in four.  No problem!  ***u** was able to manually masturbate until I squirted.  Thumbs-up!

But it's what happened afterward that made the night so special.  I had dances from four other babes after ***u**, all of them $20 dances because I thought I had no hard-ons or semen to give.  (I certainly didn't have the money, I should clear that up, too.)  One of them was *****r, a girl I got dances from at this party (hosted by *****a) before.  Another was ****y, a girl I had fucked in the raw a couple times before she moved from north Minneapolis; I should hook up with her soon.

Now, a third is this girl ******y.  She's a teacher, and a former figure competitor, and even though she's small, she's built as fuck!  Our lapdance was good, but I don't know if she's down.  (Oh, by the way, I had no money for any lappers with either the host *****a or ****a, who was sober because I came to this party nearer the beginning and not the end but, well, next time, I guess. ...)

But the fourth ... well, she's down -- and I had no idea she was, because she was a longtime stripper at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) and I had no idea then!  Well, she did parties at ****i's, but I was never able to get around to her.  In fact, I don't know if I ever got an LD from her at a house party, so I spent my final $20 remedying that.

Oh, her name -- uh, ****e.  So ****e got down early, feeding me her nipples and in turn biting into mine.  That was the tell-tale signal that she was a whore.  And since the LD area was empty enough (this was taking place in a living room adjoining another living room; there was a couple dancing in that room, but they would have stopped paying attention to themselves and looked into our room to see us), it was time to see how DTF she was.  While ****e was standing up with her back turned to me, I readjusted my cock so that, after she started rubbing on me, it would've popped up inbetween the open button fly of my porno pants!  And it did!  And she discovered me when she looked down and, instead of recoiling in disgust, said, "Oh, your big cock is out of your pants!"  And she wanted me to put it back in my porno pants but ... she gave it several rubs and then, while standing up, bent down at her waist and gave my dick a quick suck!  YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And she didn't charge me more than the $20 to do all that!

After that she left the party early.  When kissing my cheek goodbye she groped me and said, "Oh, you have such a big cock!" and now I have to get her in the bed next time I see her.  (Should've gotten her phone number too in case she wants to come over and do shit with me.)  That made me so, so hard, but it was kind of embarrassing because she did that to me in the front living room with everyone around, including the guy who was taking her home.

Oh, well.  I'll take some non-discreetness if I can find a new whore to fuck around with!

Because Of A Fucking Ramp?!?!?!

I planned on not spending any money today.  I also thought I would be staying in until the evening because it would be snowing outside.  But after the three inches I plowed last night around 9, we got only another inch.  A total of four, when we were supposed to get eight, even ten?  I'll take it!

My original, original plan was to go out this morning for EPL downtown.  Really was going to brave it if, by some reason, the snowstorm was not as cataclysmic as I thought it would be.  It was far from it this morning; I saw no snow, and the snow that fell after I plowed it I would not normally even shovel.

So I was going to go out!  But wait, I need to spend money!  No -- they were offering free pastries and coffee!  So I can go in, eat and drink, hang out, and once the 9 o'clock games were over, I'm gone -- without spending money!  Great!

Well, that was my plan.  I was going to park in their ramp, which was supposed to be free as well, then leave.  But (and I'll be honest, I kind of lost interest in blogging this, so I am going to begin skipping through the details) when I tried driving up to the ramp, the arm was down.  When I park here, for free, that arm is up.  Why was it down?  I was going to have to pay in order to leave, and my mantra was no money.

And what's worse is that when I backed down the driveway, I got stuck.  Glad I had this new car shovel.  (Used it; when I went to put it in the back [as I was spending money at Arby's -- you'll see what I mean], there was not a speck of water on it.)  But while I was digging myself out, this guy, probably living in the poor hotels a couple blocks away, volunteered to push me out.  I didn't have to be pushed out; I was able to shovel all the snow out of under my car, and frankly, I don't think this motherfucker did any shit.  But goddammit, I felt trapped.  I couldn't just reject his help and then, once he "helped," I couldn't not give him money.  So I backed out of the car while he essentially did nothing and I gave him two bucks.

So now I spent money today, and therefore I need to spend money on another thing today because I already spent money, and that's why I got Arby's even though I'll be eating at my aunt and uncle's place in a couple hours.  And all because I had to pay to park when I wasn't supposed to?  Fuck this.

Made It Home Safe!

OK, so the snowstorm was supposed to start mid-morning.  It didn't actually get here until, oh, a quarter to 2.  (I was looking at the latest updates on AccuWeather.  That site predicts the coming of storms to the minute ... and I think they timed the storm down to the minute.)  I was hoping that my boss would let me go early like he did yesterday; I am working half a day Sunday, and he cut me loose because, I think, I would still be able to get my 40 hours per week and he is trying to shave off overtime whenever he can.  But, there were applications in the lab that could be processed, and those aren't things that can really wait, so I had to stay till the end of my shift, which was 3:30.

When it started, it apparently came bursting through.  I was in the lab and it was pure and calm and just cloudy outside; I looked down, looked back out through the window, and there was a damn blizzard going.  I was scared as hell that I would get caught in bad traffic, so I took the side streets.  But besides a couple of spots where I went, "Uh, I'm not stopping as ideally as I thought I would," the drive was fine, albeit slow.  My real fear was not being able to drive up my driveway, where instead I would have to park on the street and shovel the driveway.  No need; my low-riding hatchback got up to where I usually park it just fine.  And despite the mean-mugging storm, maybe an inch fell by the time I got home a bit past 4.

It looks bad out there right now.  But it doesn't matter because I'm not out there.  I'm in here, at home, where I can stay until I need to go to my aunt and uncle's place for Chinese New Year's dinner tomorrow night.  I am safe and sound!!!

Can I Cum Three Times This Week?

So earlier this week I stupidly wanked myself the night before a party.  Well, that really wasn't an issue on Monday; it took some time, but **y has some made blowjob skills, and once I stood up so she could suck me off, splash!  (Although the knock on the door just before I came kind of gave me blueballs.)

The next day I got a text from a stripper for yet another house party, this one occurring tonight.  I'm going for a lot of reasons: There's a snowstorm coming tomorrow and I feel like I want to get a house party in, plus there's one girl from BJ's I have yet to reconnect with; she has never been to a party, so I want to see her and grab her boobs for the first time ever.

But here's the main reason: There are several girls who'll do shit to me, including the dancer who invited me.  I want to see if she's good enough to make me squirt, which would mean I would orgasm for the second time in four days and the third time in five.  What helps is that I haven't touched myself since Sunday, so I've "saved" myself for this party.  That should work, although I have no idea if I have any reserve of semen or tingling sensation in my penis to, uh, pull this off.  We shall see.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: 0).  The pull that an NFL team has on a sports city is stronger than a black hole.  The Vikings -- which you'll see at the bottom of this survey -- was riding high after a big upset win last week, and so it felt as though the entire metro area riding high.  But now, after the Vikings ended their season with a thud, nothing in this town feels as if it's going well.  That may be appearance more than anything, even though a lot of the squads this screening week did not play well.  But after Saturday night, Twin Cities sports fans are looking at a long and bleak winter ... just like last winter.

With that being said, there is always the University of Minnesota women's hockey team.  They swept the Huskies in St. Cloud over the weekend by a combined 7-1.  Then again, like last season, it's Minnesota and Wisconsin and then there's everyone else.  It's like the U.S. and Canada in professional women's hockey.

This weekend they host Ohio St. for two.  The Saturday contest will be played outdoors, in Parade Park in Minneapolis, as part of Hockey Day Minnesota.

#-2: Gopher wrestling (Re-Entry!).  OK, I don't know how this happened, but Minnesota is ranked third in the country.  They lost to Oklahoma St., Rider and Lehigh and are ranked third in the country?!  Whatever.

With that being said, the Gophers won a sizable Border Battle Friday at Maturi.  Wisconsin, ranked ninth in the country, came across the Mississippi and lost to the U., 20-14.  For what it's worth, the Gophers have won four Duals in a row, with a trip to Michigan St. and Michigan this weekend.

#-3: Twins (Re-Entry!).  They're here because they signed Josh Donaldson to a four-Year contract with an option for a fifth.  He's expected to man First Base.  He was arguably the most well-known name still a free agent, and there were several clubs that wanted him.  That Minnesota out-muscled many teams (including incumbent Atlanta) to a $92 million contract may be the most-heralded free agent signing in town since ... Brett Favre?

With that being said -- are they going to sign any pitching better than Rich Hill and Homer Bailey?

#-4: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -1).  Maybe this is to be expected: They lost on the road -- at Michigan St., big -- Thursday, then returned home and beat Michigan.  They were behind the Wolverines but started to come back late in the First Half.  Daniel Oturu was The Man in that Game, and really is The Man all season.  I'm not sure if this one-win, one-loss water-chopping is going to lead them to The Big Dance, however.

This week: Home tomorrow versus Penn St., then at Rutgers Sunday afternoon.

#-5: Gopher men's hockey (Re-Entry!).  Split at Michigan St.  Got drubbed Friday, 4-1, but at least they screwed up some #PrideOnIce and blanked Sparty, 2-0 -- the club's first Shutout since November 17, 2018.  We're still waiting for the resurgence, however.

They host the the Team USA Under-18 team Friday.  They are back to play for real the following weekend.

#-6: Timberwolves (Last Week: -2).  With Karl-Anthony Towns still out, the Woofie Dogs went 1-2 this screening week.  Somehow they blew out Portland and Target, but then got blasted by 30 at Houston, then got blasted at home by the Thunder.

Right now they're playing Indiana at home.  This starts a stretch where nine of the next ten opponents are currently in playoff position.  They make a return date Friday.  Woofs then come home the next night to play Toronto, then host Denver Monday.

#-7: Wild (Last Week: -3).  OK, stick a fork in this fuckin' team.  Lost at Calgary, got drubbed at home to Vancouver, then got drilled in Pittsburgh, 7-3, in a Game where, somehow, they played only five Defensemen.  Forward Ryan Donato was supposed to be a healthy scratch, but an Assistant Coach scratched D-Man Greg Pateryn instead.  By the first TV timeout, the Penguins were up 2-0.

Three is a four-Game homestretch before the All-Star Game and the week-long bye.  They play Saturday as they anchor Hockey Day Minnesota.  Unfortunately, they host The Team That Was Stolen From Us.  Now why in the fuck do we invite The Bastard North Stars to Our Day?  The franchise's deference/normalization to the North Stars belonging to Dallas fuckin' pisses me off.  Anyway, the other home opponents are Tampa Bay, Florida and Detroit.

#-8: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -4).  Meanwhile the Gopher women's team is in all sorts of trouble now.  Lost both matches this screening week -- home to Northwestern Thursday on a late basket, then at Illinois Sunday afternoon by three Points.  Worse yet, in the Game versus the Illini, leading scorer Destiny Pitts was suspended for, like, conduct unbecoming.  After a very good non-conference record, this team, which has lost four in a row, is in a tailspin -- just like last year.  Not only is this team in disarray, the program might be, too.

This week: Home to Iowa tomorrow, at Purdue Sunday afternoon.

#-Infinity: Vikings (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  I really thought they had a chance to be San Francisco Saturday.  I really did.  How foolish of me.

Mike Zimmer has a basic philosophy.  It goes beyond thinking that you build a winning team through running and defense, even though it is, fundamentally, a sound strategy.  He tried marrying that with the addition of Kirk Cousins who has a skill set that is, and I do not say this as an insult, simple.  He works best off of play action, which means he needs a good running game to complement that skill set, and he works best when he has a clean pocket, which is the same for every Quarterback.

That presents a binary solution.  If those pieces are there and they're working, chances are the Vikings are going to win.  But if those pieces aren't there and they're not working, chances are they will lose.  And the latter was made abundantly clear, oh, from halfway through the Second Quarter on.  The Vikings, who surprised everybody by dominating the lines of both side of the ball, were completely dominated by the 49ers in the trenches.  Thus, Dalvin Cook & Co. were rendered impotent.  Thus, no play action, and thus Cousins was basically a stump for most of the game.  That results in a 27-10 loss and the end of the season.  See, if the Vikes had a QB that could scramble, or run, or somehow improvise plays through playground passes or his feet, maybe the club could stay in some Games.  But with the talent they have, improvisation is just not part of their DNA.

And that's why they lost.  Well, that and the fact that, frankly, San Fran has more talent.  Like I said (sort of), it started promising in the First Quarter, but it slowly slipped away in the Second.  I was listening to that part at work; I got home just after Richard Sherman intercepted Cousins's pass, and I was good for the rest of the Game.  I went to Panchero's, and I caught the final score while eating there.

I'm not certain how to think of the season.  I thought they would go 8-8 and miss the playoffs, so in that sense, these guys over-performed.  Moreover, there is that upset win in New Orleans, a Game which the squad (OPI no-call excepted) earned.  But, well, I still think that any season short of a championship is a failure.  And beyond that, the humiliating loss exposes a lot of holes that need to be solved ... and Zimmer and Rick Spielman will have to solve them without Kevin Stefanski, who was named Head Coach of the Cleveland Browns the following day.  (It's not as if the exact opposite has to lead the exact opposite effect, but I truly believe Stefanski's mind was not 100% on coaching the Game Saturday.)

Offensive line, even though they were terrific when zone-blocking for the running game.  Secondary.  A third Wide Receiver.  Plus they have to worry about an aging and expensive core, especially on the defensive side of the ball; who's going to leave, because someone has to.  Oh, and Cook is going to get his payday.  There are a lot of moving parts, and even though the Vikings avoided having a down year this year, the possibility that next year will go pear-shaped is only growing.

Our company lunch is today.  Free food!  Not going to go to the car to nap today, that's for sure.

That meant that I was going to turn in early last night.  However, the movie (Uncut Gems -- Adam Sandler can act) got out after midnight, and then I wanted to stay up to watch the forecast because of the snow coming today and Friday, and then I, uh, stayed up to tool around on my phone, and dammit, I turned in at 1:30.  Not when I wanted to go to bed.

When the alarm wakes me up, that means that my body is still tired.  But again, no nap for me today.  Wish me luck that I don't just drop asleep in the afternoon.

Two Things To Get Off My Chest

Just got back from storage.  Had a half-hour to get my Shammies, which I thought were in there.  They were, but I had to take a couple minutes to reach them because I have a pile of stuff in my unit.  Because of that, I took more than a half-hour to get back home, and so I missed the very beginning of the Jeopardy: Greatest Of All Time.

I hate when I miss the beginning of things.  If I miss the start of a movie, chances are I will pay once again to watch the beginning of that same movie.  (Did it with Avengers: Endgame.)  I don't have cable or satellite, so I can't rewind to the beginning of the show.  And even though I was able to catch the beginning of Single Jeopardy, missing the very beginning is going to chafe my hide forever.

And the thing is, even though the storage place isn't too far away, I had an inkling that it would take me more than 30 minutes to go and come back.  I still cannot believe that my storage unit isn't close enough whereby I could just dash in, grab stuff, and get back within a half-hour.  But, due to some rummaging around, what I feared would happen did happen, and because of that I missed the beginning of something that I really, really didn't want to miss.  Dammit.

---

Oh, and for the record, the combined snowstorms Monday morning and evening (if I have the times correct) totaled less than three inches.  I am noting that because there's supposed to be a snowstorm that will match that combined total tomorrow, and there is supposed to be an even bigger one come Friday.

I'm Never Gonna Learn

One day after I tried to snarf down a whole large pizza while watching football (I failed; I have two slices left in the fridge), I took advantage of 20% off wings at Buffalo Wild Wings and had a huge plate last night (about 20, I'm guessing) while watching the College Football Playoff National Championship.  I was able to eat them all, but boy, am I feeling it right now.

I'm having an urge to eat pineapple right now.  I should be eating more fruit anyway.  But I won't.  Reminds me too much of all the fruit that my parents buy that go to waste.

Feeling really fat, but I could shovel outside to burn off some calories.  Yeah, I should do that before going to work.

Or maybe I shouldn't eat so much at the outset.  Well, I've told myself to do that before and, well, I haven't heeded my own advice.  And I probably never will (sad face).

Bitch, Don't Kill My Vibe

There is no stripper more enthusiastic about getting money from me than ... well, it's that girl who jerked me around (I mean in figuratively, although she did literally as well) the last time I saw her.  I caved into her because she was so close and she was nagging me so much that I finally caved in, but she was such a fucking ripoff -- and an annoying one at that -- that I don't feel like seeing her, ever again.

And yet she keeps texting me, like she did before I caved in to her this time.  She wished me a Happy New Year, and then just yesterday she just said, "Hey."  And I was going to do what I did after she texted me HNY: Nothing.  I feel like ghosting her will be the only way she is going to stop bothering me.  Because the way I look at it, with the way she mistreated me the last two trysts we've had, she's not worth the bother.  I can get jobbed and fucked by much hotter chicks who do more for as much money, if not less.  Yeah, she tittyfucked me the first time and she's close by, but she still ain't worth it when compared to all the other bullshit I've had to take from her.

I'm just scared she won't stop, like this will become a Fatal Attraction kind of thing.  The texts might get more numerous.  She might find out where I live.  She might stalk me.  She might try to ruin my life.  Man, I know I live a life of sin, but I don't deserve that.

Whoops

Felt the urge to jerk off to porn this morning.  I then remembered that I am going to a stripper party where, I presume, I'll get my dick sucked.  I'm not the many I was 20 years ago, where I could just splooge at will -- OK, I exaggerate; I could jizz on back-to-back days, certainly.  But since I, uh, used up my semen today, I don't know if I've got any tomorrow.  Man, I'm so old that I don't know if I can even get hard at the party tomorrow.

So, whoops.

I Will Miss This Department

Because of a combination of staff shortages and a backlog of training, I had been asked to come in on weekends to work even though I have shifted to a Monday-Friday schedule.  Don't mind it, love it.  I don't mind the extra paycheck, and frankly, it gives me a couple more opportunities to work at my favorite department, back here.  There are only two other people during the workweek, there is no one but me on Saturdays, I'm not being scrutinized, nobody is walking behind me, I can go to break or lunch whenever I want, and, especially on Saturdays, there is no one who is tracking me whenever I take a break that's a tad longer than it should be.

Now, it's not without its faults.  People can't walk behind me, but they sometimes surprise me when they come around the partition.  And there is still a lot of things I don't know.  This department is more akin to conversations with people in order to get things done, and that's something I'm still getting used to.  For example, someone just asked me for my contact number.  I didn't see that my phone is in a no-call mode, and I don't know how to take it off.  Did that person try to call me?  If so, is she mad?

Beyond that, this department is good.  And that's why I was bummed when my boss said that, although he scheduled me, he was going to take the half-day I was supposed to work next Saturday morning and give it to the person who is being trained in.  He's the dude who took my Tuesday-Saturday shift, and so it would be natural for him to, during his scheduled workweek, work back here.  Once he gets up to speed, it looks as though I won't be working here much, if at all.  And that makes me quite sad.

Where Is The Credit Card Bill?

Mother called.  Usually dread it.  Was out; told her such, to which she said thanks.

That gave me breathing room to let me do my thing this evening (namely go to a stripper's place for some clean dances, Target, then eating out at Flameburger) before coming home.  In exchange, I promptly called her.

Nothing bad.  Really, no yelling, no condescension, no stupid questions.  Actually, a really good question Mother asked: Have you paid a certain credit card bill?  I thought I did ... but for the life of me, I can't find it.  She was not mad, thank God.  But I can't find it.  And I'm tired now, and cold, and I think I should turn in because I have work in the morning.  But I can't find this credit card bill.  And since Mother is not being irrational about this, I feel like I have a duty to try and find it -- the sooner, the better.

Now, where is it? 

Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Wednesday, January 8:

• Well, I'll have to start before then because the use of my credit cards has allowed me to shorten the EWRs (well, they remain long because I don't get around to them as often as I should).  So I go back to Saturday, January 4, where, after I got out of work, I went to Marco's, a lesser-known pizza chain.  I've seen a branch on the way home from work, and they have sent over a flyer every now and again, so I decided that I was going to pig out on pizza while watching back-to-back playoff football Games.  Better yet for Marco's: They have a small pizza version.  I got that, plus two types of sauce to dip the crusts in.  I didn't realize that Marco's sells sauces, however, and I couldn't find a place to edit my order, so I put in a new one.  I say that because it is relevant to the fact that the guy, once I got there, seemed confused that I had put in both orders and could not add them up ... because I gave him exact change for all three items so that I would only get dollar bills back instead, and he gave me back some coins in exchange for the coins I gave him as part of exact cents change.  Now, is he going to be either so embarrassed or some mad that I can't go back there?  Because I want to go back there.  Guess it doesn't matter; I put in a dollar tip, so even if the cashier short-changed the till, I more than made up for that with the dollar tip.  That's how it works, right?  Anyway, the total was: $12.02.
• Back to Thursday the 2nd, where work was so light that I decided to leave early.  It was a chance to do a few things I can't do during the workday now that I'm on a normal schedule.  One of the things that popped into my head was keeping active a small account at a credit union my family opened up as part of work with The Store.  The nearest branch was in Coon Rapids, so I went up there and threw in more money, even though the account is entirely irrelevant now that The Store is no more.  And not to look like a fool, but I threw in: $20.
• Later I got my hair cut.  Have a receipt for the card.  Haircutter didn't act like she gave a shit, so I tipped her only: $3.
• Then I called for ******e to come over.  Like I said, I should be aroused by her, but now I'm sort-of afraid of her.  And she probably still thinks I owe her money.  Total (for now): $125.
• Assuming I have some record of every expense until then, we gotta go all the way back to Boxing Day, aka Thursday, December 26.  My sister and brother-in-law were in town, and after staying with my brother and sister-in-law for a few days, they came up to the childhood home and stayed her with me for a few.  All they wanted for a Christmas gift was dinner and a movie.  The dinner was Saturday.  The movie was this night, and it was Parasite, the Korean thriller.  It was good, but the critics make it out to be a parable about class warfare when I just don't see it.  It is just a twisty caper between amoral people that makes me think of Shallow Grave.  But one of the decade's best?  Let's pump the brakes.  We had to go to Edina to see it, at a rundown cinema I had never been to in a tony part of town.  Three tickets plus large popcorn and large pop we all shared: $38.50.
• Monday the 23rd was the last night of BJ's.  I found a seat nowhere near the stage.  I ordered a Bud Light and gave a tip to dancer *****y (who was strictly waitressing) for the can of beer.  And then, until the owner threw us all out at the end of a bar fight, I got lap dances from, in order, Kirah, Lola, Giselle, Harley, Ashlee, Cali, Sky and Kelsey.  There were a few more strippers there I wanted dances from, but alas, that was it for me and this place for good.  The final grand total I spent at BJ's on this night is: $168.
• ETA on January 9 at 9:48 p.m. that I remembered that I went over to the Moose because, as we were getting thrown out of BJ's, that's where a bartender said everyone was migrating to.  I saw Kirah and another stripper, but that was it.  I nursed a domestic beer and left.  I totally forgot the cost with tip, so I'll just conjure up an amount: $4.50.
• On Sunday the 22nd ****e* came over to clean my house.  It had been almost a year since she came over.  She's great, but I still have the urge to be perverted around her in the very faint hopes she just gets naked and starts to fuck me.  But I did drop my pants and pee standing up while she was cleaning around the bathroom.  Yeah, I'm me.  ****e* said that the house was actually cleaner than the last time she was over, and because of that she didn't stay as long as she normally does, which means she asked for a little less than usual: $200.
• Saturday, December 21: After work I went over to My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Edition) because I wanted to see my ATF, Claudia, before Christmas.  Luckily she was there, and to make up for lost time I got a record 16 table dances from her.  But Sky was also there!  I saw her onstage, and she didn't recognize me until I sat down and slipped her a dollar bill.  We had a laugh.  With cover and a Coke: $174.
• After that I went to Hooters, then after that I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Division) where, on stage, I saw Sky again!  And we both laughed our fucking asses off over the coincidence.  So I got an LD from her, even though I wanted a TD from her at the other place.  Anyway ... with tips and Sprite: $31.
• Thursday the 19th -- was shifted towards a later start in the morning, so I went to Caribou.  The foreign barista, I was convinced at this point, is a rude idiot.  Cash for the tip: $1.
• That night I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version) because I needed to pack the visits in before it went.  Stage tips, vodka cranberry, and a lapper from one of the girls I saw The Last Night but didn't get a dance from, JJ: $33.
• On Wednesday the 18th I was also covering for someone who usually starts at 9, so again I went to Caribou for (again) a mocha and (again) I write down the EWR for the tip: $1.
• After work I needed to buy a white elephant gift for my sister-in-law and brother's Christmas party.  I settled on champagne flutes from Macy's, but I needed someone to wrap them.  Thankfully, Rosedale (whose Macy's store I bought the flutes from) gift-wraps at the customer service desk.  Thank Buddha for them!  And it only cost me: $6.50.
• While waiting for the gift to be wrapped I went down to the other end to take a second look at the brand-new food hall, POTLUCK.  It replaced Revolution Hall, another food hall that crashed and burned after eight months.  People have their theories as to its failure: It didn't take cash, no local vendors, the food was all made at the same place by the same company, and the storefronts were all just "fronts," bad customer service, etc.  It looked like POTLUCK had a bit more traffic, but that could be just because it was the holiday season.  I went to Nordic Waffles, which opened a storefront at the Minnesota State Fair in 2018 and was an instant hit.  With tip: $7.98.
• I then went to a party in North Minneapolis.  It was rented out by host *****a.  I thought the place would be crawling with strippers from clubs around the area, but I only saw, like, eight, and I only was able to get a couple of chaste dances from a woman named Summer before the party ended.  The way the party ended, however, was ... fuckin' bananas.  A stripper, who was drunk when I passed by her, apparently started a fight with the other girls over god knows what.  And there were punches thrown, hair pulled, and fingers bitten.  This is the first time I have ever seen strippers fight at a stripper party, and frankly, I thought it would have happened before this night.  Oh well, at least I have a story to tell.  With cover, the total was: $70.
• And I think I found a penny at a gas station, an Infusion of: 1 cent.
• Tuesday, December 17 ... went to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Version).  Coffee, tips, and two dances, one apiece from Asia (another of the strippers from who I wanted one final lapdance on The Last Night) and a lesbian stripper named Ariel.  Ariel is very nice.  She wasn't going to be around when the place shut down because she was going to Kansas to see her girlfriend's family for the holidays.  And when the waitress asked her for a drink while she was talking to me, I relented and paid for Ariel's drink.  All told I spent: $62.25.
• And on Sunday the 15th I fucked ****e for: $120.

Good through January 8.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

A reminder that with the New Year comes a new day of the week for the WMNSS.  For 2020, the survey falls on the day of the week January 8 falls -- Wednesday.

Positive Numbers: Vikings (Last Week: -7).  Yep, I said the Vikings were going to lose to New Orleans Sunday by 30.  Book it, I said.  Goddamn, I'm so glad I was wrong!

I didn't see this coming.  But no one saw this coming.  A lot of people thought that the New Orleans Saints were the NFC favorite to get to the Super Bowl.  But a host of things happened that finally turned the Game, and upset, in the Vikings' favor.

First off and most importantly, Minnesota won the war in the trenches, both of them.  They were able to manhandle the Saints and allow the Running Backs to run, thereby controlling the ball and the pace of the Game, and to (I think) wear out New Orleans defenders.  Meanwhile, ample pressure on the defensive side silenced Alvin Kamara and led to a very important sack-fumble on Drew Brees.

And Kirk Cousins, for the first time in his career, stood tall in a big Game.  No, he didn't carry his squad on his back.  But he was competent, didn't make mistakes, and pulled off one hell of a throw in Overtime:



The Vikes did bog down after that massive throw-and-catch; they went nowhere on 1st and 2nd Down & Goal.  But Minnesota won the Game on 3rd Down when Kyle Rudolph pushed off on his defender and grabbed the fade pass.  I was watching the Game while exercising, and once the Saints came back from ten down in the Fourth Quarter to tie it up in regulation, I finished my workout and began changing because I knew the Vikings blew it.  I got to the front lobby, where there is a TV, just in time to see Adam Thielen haul in that pass.  And when Rudolph scored, a high-fived a few of the other people at the community center who were watching the Game as well.  It was a moment that made me feel closer to humanity.

So the Vikes now go to San Francisco, on short rest, to face a 49ers team that is the top seed in the NFC but, frankly, I don't think is all that.  Mind you, Minnesota is also a decisive underdog in this Game.  But the offense works out of play action a lot, and I read somewhere that the Niners are very susceptible to play fakes.  If Minnesota can control the line of scrimmage again like they did vs. the Saints, I think there's a better chance these guys pull off the upset this weekend then last.  Man, and I becoming ... optimistic about this club?

Maybe, maybe not.  And I don't know if this season is a success because they pulled off an upset on the road.  Ask me again after the Game on Saturday.

#0: Gopher women's hockey (Re-Entry!).  Club resumed play with a two-Game rout of Yale at Ridder, 6-3 and 4-1.  Still they remain solidly behind Wisconsin (and their merry band of ringers) in the poll.  The final showdown remains the only match that matters in women's top-flight college hockey.  Visit St. Cloud St. for a two-Game series this weekend.

#-1: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -4).  Beat Northwestern at Williams by nine Sunday.  But they sure could have used a road victory for their ambitious but non-productive resume.  They took the Boilermakers to Double Overtime Thursday, but couldn't close them out and lost, 83-78.  So right now, at least according to ESPN.com's Joey Lunardi, the U. is one of, like, 200 schools on the bubble right now.  Their two chances this week to separate themselves from the morass: Thursday in Michigan St., Sunday afternoon at The Barn vs. Michigan.  Good luck.

#-2: Timberwolves (Last Week: -5).  Lately much has been made of how the scrubs role players are stepping up since the departures of Karl-Anthony Towns and Andrew Wiggins (the former becoming increasingly worrisome the more time he's away from the team).  All well and good, but the likes of Shabazz Napier and Naz Reid aren't going to help you climb into playoff contention.

But the Wolves did go 2-2 this week.  They lost a competitive Game at Milwaukee, the team with the best record in the NBA, 106-104 New Year's Night, and fell victim to a Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies hot streak at the end of Tuesday's 119-112 loss in Memphis last (Tuesday) night.  But sandwiched inbetween those defeats were a pair of 15-Point victories, over Golden State at home Thursday and at Cleveland Sunday.  Of course, they'll need more above .500-weeks for the Woofie Dogs to be even regarded as a playoff contender.

This week they visit Houston inbetween home tilts against Portland and Oklahoma City.

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -6).  The fortunes of this team are supposed to turn in its favor by now; due to a scheduling quirk (to which old General Manager, weird creep and abusive bully Paul Fenton did not push back, another reason it was right for his ass to be fired), the Wild have already played more than half of their road Games.  One would presuppose that the home-ice advantage this club enjoys will help them complete its climb out of the early hole it dug itself and they would become not just a playoff team but a Stanley Cup contender.

Well, that ain't happenin', at least not this screening week.  The Mild had three Games over these past eight days, all at home.  And they got blitzed by Toronto New Year's Eve, had to come back in order to beat The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers in Overtime Saturday, then blew not one, not two, not three but four leads the next night and lost in a Shootout to The Bastard Atlanta Flames.  Because of a 1-2 screening "week," and because the squad only got two Points out of a possible four against two teams along which they are competing for a playoff spot, they currently sit (according to The Athletic) out of playoff probability, with only about a 1-in-3 chance of reaching the postseason.  This team's home woes began last year, but the malaise seems to be seeping into this.  And it's starting to look dire, even in the first week of 2020.

Hey, maybe going on the road will help.  They complete an elongated home-and-home with Calgary Thursday and play at Pittsburgh Tuesday.  Inbetween they host Vancouver Sunday afternoon.

#-4: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -2).  Yeah, this is what I was worried about.  And impressive run through the non-conference schedule (not to be confused with an impressive non-conference schedule) doesn't mean much if you can't follow up with a good performance within the league.  And after losing at home to Ohio St. by three New Year's Eve and then getting blasted by Nebraska in Lincoln by 14 on Saturday, the U. is 1-2 in the B1G.  Charlie Creme has noticed; the women's basketball bracketologist for ESPN.com has the Goofers in the NCAAs, but as a 9-seed, and slipping.

How good is this team?  This is Lindsay Whalen's second year, and improvement from the previous season isn't too much to ask.  Maybe this week's Games -- home to Northwestern tomorrow/Thursday, at Illinois Sunday -- will give confirmation as to how good this team is ... or is not.

Now That's Commitment

I wanted to note (and post a quick blog to be good for the day) that I was able to blog post every day in 2019, even the times I was on vacation.  I'm certain of that.  And I am very proud of that accomplishment.

It's a level of commitment I won't apply to finding the love of my life.  And I'm good with that.  At least right now.

The Strip Club Diaspora

So tonight -- after I blog post this -- I will venture out to the only strip club in St. Paul.  That is where, according to one of the girls from, uh, the former place, most of the strippers from said former place have migrated to.  In several ways the clubs are the same, but in some ways they definitely are not.  There is no cover ... except Thursdays through Sundays.  There are lap dances ... but they are, if I recall correctly, fully clothed.  And there is a stage ... but the dancers are enclosed behind a glass wall, as if we're seeing large and dangerous animals locked behind a cage in a zoo.

I have been to this place in St. Paul, but a long, long time ago.  I found the stage to be too ridiculous to have fun.  And despite all the assumptions that the old place was dangerous, it is this place in St. Paul where a man was shot to death a couple years ago after the perpetrator shot into the club from the outside.  Now that I type that, I have no idea why in the hell I'm going there.  But *****y texted me, and I want to keep in touch with the babes I became friends with/gotten jobs from.

Other than this place, there are (counting) ... uh ... four other places strippers from the old place have told me they are working at now.  They most likely charge cover, which is a deterrent to me visiting them with a frequency anywhere close to the old place.  Three of those places are downtown, and so parking is going to be a hassle.  (One place is at the heart of downtown Minneapolis that has proven to be a bit more dangerous over the past several months.)  The other place is My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Division); I have an ATF there already, only one other babe (AFAIK) is now working there, and that's about 45 miles away ... and they charge cover.

There were many things to like about the old place -- hot, smart women showing off their breasts; the relatively cheap drinks; the bar vibe where people just let you be; the free parking; the proximity to home; and, like I said, no cover.  If there is a place that gives me all those plusses, that place will become My Home Away From Home.  But that ain't ever gonna happen.  And so, if I want to keep up my relationships with these strippers (and I do), I will need to bite the bullet and travel far and dodge bullets in order to see them again.

However, I was kind of hoping that with my old Home Away From Home gone, I could finally be rid of, or at least relieved of, a vice that was costing me money.  Sure, I had fun.  But I didn't have an excuse to throw dollars at women now that this place is closed and dead.  I do want to see my stripper girlfriends, but not if I am spending the same amount of money as before -- and I sure as hell ain't gonna spend more.  Well, maybe on stripper parties, but that's a completely different animal.

Bottom line: These adjustments are going to lead to choices and sacrifices.  Do I keep spending money?  Or do I start saying goodbye to the women I let into my life?  I really don't know how it's all going to pan out.  But I start finding out what my decision is going to be tonight.

Streak Ends

Starting some time last year I've been playing ESPN.com's Streak (formerly known as Cash For The Streak, I think) religiously.  And I was up to ten in a row until I lost last night picking The Bastard Cincinnati Royals/Kansas City-Omaha Kings to beat The Bastard Charlotte Hornets at home.  I'm kind of bummed, but I got it up to ten.

I'll never win these things.  Some guy with supercomputers and algorithms, the same people who gamed daily fantasy sites when they were booming and unregulated, those are the people I'm playing against.

So why am I playing?

Blogging From Work

Shouldn't be blogging from work -- shouldn't be on the Internet at work but I'm doing that anyway -- but the wi-fi at home is down for some reason and I need to make sure I blog for today.  This happens from time to time.  I think it's apt to happen more often in the winter because the central heating is on so often it interferes with the wi-fi.  But for some reason (and I admit I sound alarmist) this time is different.  Tried to reboot the router twice -- no dice.  I unplugged both the router and modem last night before I went out in the evening to be a man about town; came back, tried to use them again -- no dice.

So I unplugged both again before leaving work in the hopes that a long and "hard reset" (if that's the right term) will work.  If it doesn't -- well, shit, I don't know what to do then.

Now I'm Afraid Of Her

So seeing that I had a sliver of time on my hands, I invited ***a*** over for some fun last/Thursday night.  And it was ... fun, after a lot of bullshit.  First we had to discuss money.  Then she insisted that she would only do so much for the same amount of money.  And then she said that her rates went up, and if she wanted me to do the same as before, I would have to pay her more money.  Then it took damn near 40 minutes (I'm totally guessing there) to cum, and ***a*** had to titty-fuck me in order for me to splooge.  It felt good; I just don't know if the rigmarole before that was worth the eventual ejaculation.

So I get home from work today and get a text from her.  "I'm horny; what are your fetishes?" she texted me.  And it should get me hot, but it doesn't.  Why?  Well ... the bullshit ***a*** put me through last night was a turn-off.  But ... well, I had a feeling about her going into asking her over last night, and afterward I just don't feel that ... aroused by her anymore.  Frankly put, I don't find her all that sexy.  She's got some massive natural tits, and she came (or at least acted like she came) incredibly loudly.  But ... that's it.

See, I didn't get all that hard when I was with her.  That can be attributed to a lot of things: Me jerking off the night before, the bullshit over money, taking so much time, being old, etc.  But I remember being with ***e* not too long ago.  She gets me hard much more often.  And that can be attributed to a bunch of things, she taking me out through my pants and not quibbling over money (I actually get rate cuts from her) among them.  But I feel as though she is genuinely interested in me sexually.  This too could be an act, but nearly every time I get into a tryst with her, I feel ... comfortable with her.  It's weird to say that being naked with ***e* is a safe space, but right now, I can't think of any other way to describe it.  (And, by the way, the last time I saw ***e*, when she made me erect, she was about seven months pregnant.  Knocked-up chicks do nothing for me, and yet ***e* did!)

But with ***a*** I feel, well, afraid.  And I wish her text asking me about my fetishes would get me hard, but it's quite the opposite; I kind of want to avoid her.  I know that's not her intention, but God, I felt creepy when she asked that.  So I texted her that I didn't have any fetishes, and I don't feel comfortable talking that way to her.  I didn't mean to put her off like that, and I'm now running the risk of angering her -- and she knows where I live.  But that's how I feel.  She's coming on way too strong, and I don't like that.

Man, what have I gotten myself into?

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: December

Some good ones, but overall, not the strongest month.  I feel as though I can gloss over several of the 14, including Rachel, from Concord, N.C.  She has long blonde hair and shows off a great body, but she's in a light blue one-piece bikini, so it doesn't show off much.

If anything, December 2019 has a lot of cute girls.  That includes ifth-place Virali from Joliet, Ill., fourth-place Jennifer of Alcoa, Tenn. (both of whose photos are somewhat impeded because they pose their arms in front of their hot bodies), and third-place Tayla, hailing from Nottingham, England.  Blonde hair, white two-piece -- I need to be reminded that England has some babes.

I was debating between the top two.  Eventually, I decided that Monet, from Yuma, Ariz., is runner-up.  She has a beautiful, wide smile, and she is lounging on her side which somehow makes her toned body (covered up in a red two-piece bikini) even longer than I know it truly is.  But as hot as such a pose is, the body is, you know, turned down toward the couch cushion she's lying on, and there is a slight recession of the body as it retreats from the camera.

The #1 has none of those unique drawbacks.  She's standing up, erect, and even though she's pushing her hair back with her right hand, it makes her all the dreamier.  The winner for this month is Japanese: Tokyo's Nanako, who I believe is an active Hooters girl and model.  She is wearing a racer-front, two-piece, jungle print bikini, and best of all, she's got fuckin' tight abs.  I usually stay away from Asians, but I cannot deny the sexiness of Nanako.

This is where I declare that I will masturbate to these women.  But news flash: I already did!  Yesterday I was able to stay at home all day, so I was able to clear "Jerking off to December 2019 women of the Hooters calendar" off my to-do-list!!  I'm being so productive!!!

OK, My First Blog Post Of 2020 Is A Rant

OK, at work yesterday (so 2019), I was filing to fill out the rest of my day.  My former supervisor, who is not just a worker, notified me of this request form.  When I see this request form, I know that we are looking for ... an application.  This guy said that he could not look up the folder for which we could find it.  He did not say that we were looking for this application.  Apparently, that makes a difference.

He told me to wait and look for it later.  Circled back to it near the end of my day.  Looked it up, and I saw the folder in which I should be able to find it.  So, because this has been requested (other people need to do something to the urine sample connected to this application), I go the folder to fetch this application.  But I don't see it.  At all.  So I assume that I looked up the wrong number.

At the end of the day, while I was on my way out, I told the guy I couldn't find it.  I was hoping he was just going to say he'll take care of it later, but instead, he wanted to take this request form and take a second look right then and there.

"Here's the number," he basically said.  "You wrote it down."

And I basically went, what?  See, I wrote this number on the request form, but since I couldn't find it, I crossed it out.  So I told him, "Well, I couldn't find it, see ..." and I went back to the box where all the folder were ... and there is the folder whose number I initially found.  Oh, I guess I could have just waited until all the folders came in, and then I could find the app.

But I was trying to find the app, and it wasn't there.  I mean ... that is the point, right?  See, he's seeing that I found out where it was, and then for some reason I crossed it out.  I'm thinking that since I couldn't find the application, that number is wrong.  We're looking for two different things.  Well, maybe not different -- you take one step, and then you take that other step.  The way he described it, he just wanted me to take the next step.  My thing is the bottom line, finding the app, and I was not able to "get there," so to speak.  We were not talking about the same thing.

So why in the hell didn't he just say he wanted me to look for the thing he wanted me to look for?  I guess it didn't dawn on me that someone else had not put in the number of the folder this app would be in, that that number was the only thing that he was waiting on.  So, why didn't he just say, "I just need the number."  Or, better yet, just say that the application hasn't come in and try to find it if it comes and it's OK if it doesn't.  Why are you asking me to look up the number when the point is to find the damn application?  And now he probably thinks I'm stupid.  Oh, fuck, he probably thinks I'm stupid already.  Well, I know that the other people in the department don't think that highly of him.

Eh, whatever, we wished each other Happy New Year.  Maybe this is all a lot of nuttin'.