Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: August

Need to get this in before September goes into October and I have to review a second month.

A baker's dozen of babes.  Overall it's ... good.  I can single out seven of them, and of those seven, I will put three in "Honorable Mention": Jazzmyn (Pensacola Beach, Fla.), wearing a lavender two-piece bikini whose arms are awkwardly bent up towards her big tits; Jordan (Brandon, Fla.), who has her back mostly turned to the camera and who has on this white, see-through robe, but it's wet and so it's clinging to her ample ass, which you can see because she's wearing a thong; and Samantha (Dedham, Mass.), who is lying down but you can see her bikini bottom and, surprisingly, it appears as though it's a full cut to show no ass.

Now to the other four ... and in fourth place I'll select Joey (Albuquerque, N. M.).  She's kind of in side profile, but it shows off her hot, slim figure.  Not completely a fan of her long, blonde hair covering her left breast, but her boobs are real, and it complements her print top real well.  And I love the come hither look on her face.

You know what?  I can't pick between Erin (Newark, N. J.) and Madison (Weston, Fla.).  Erin has a small photograph and she seems tiny, but she's got some huge (fake) tits that her white two-piece can barely contain.  Madison is laying on her side, horizontally, and it's such a sexy goddamn pose because it seemingly elongates her height.  She's absolutely statuesque.  Apples and oranges -- I'll put them both as tied in second place.

But the winner of the month is the Main Girl, Jennifer, of Alcoa, Tenn.  (Alcoa?  I think I've seen that city in a previous Hooters calendar -- Jennifer's a vet!)  She looks like a spitfire, and I like her blue-and-white striped two-piece bikini.  She's shot in side profile, which isn't great, but at least we get to see her ass, and her bottom is a Brazilian (is that the right term?  Fuck if I know) cut, meaning she's showing, like, half of her real nice ass.  And like I said, if a girl is showin' ass, she won't be surpassed by someone who ain't showing hers.  There's no one else in August, so Jennifer gets the top spot!

I have already masturbated to this month, but I might do it again, just in case.

You Callin' Me A Liar?! Well ... I Can See It Her Way

I can't say yesterday was a better day at work.  I don't know if it was worse, but it certainly wasn't better.  I can say that if I am to get more comfortable with the position, things would have slowed down for me by now, as in I could get the work in faster and better.  But I didn't.  Like on Monday, I had work left over.  I guess this time around, unlike Monday, I gave less of a damn.

But about that work left over ... you see, before I left on Monday, my supervisor asked me if I had any work left over, by which she means forms printed out and e-mails that needed to be answered.  I told her no.  However, there were e-mails I left unread.  I didn't think much of them; frankly, I was too damn tired of the work to go over them, I wanted to leave, and I didn't think too much of them after I mentally made the decision to ignore them.  I could always go back to them in the morning.

So my supervisor comes up to me yesterday/Tuesday morning and she says, and I am paraphrasing, "So when I asked you if you were done with everything before you left yesterday, you weren't being honest (italics mine)."  And honestly, I didn't listen to the rest of what she said, because I thought, "You bitch, don't you ever accuse me of being a liar!"

And then it dawned on me; uh, she didn't mean those e-mails ... right?  And I went, "Oh, those?  I thought I could wait on those till tomorrow."  Whoops.

Yeah, guess I was wrong.  And even if I resent being told I was being "dishonest" when I didn't mean to, I can see things from her perspective and "yeah, but still" this, by which I mean yeah, I wasn't trying to lie to her so she's wrong, but still it sucks because she felt she had to stay and do all the e-mails when she thought you said you already did them, and above all the accusations of not telling the truth, she felt a little screwed.

OK.  I guess I should let this go.  But let's see what fresh hell she might bring me tomorrow!  And in the meantime -- well, maybe hanging out with her after work is something I won't ever do because of her shitty and unfair choice of words.  Boundaries.

Jesus fuck, yesterday was as bad as I feared.  Seriously, I don't know how only one person does this.  My supervisor had to step in and help me.

I was so wiped out I fell asleep after coming home ... well, I caught Cry Macho (not a bad movie; Clint Eastwood does his own thing nowadays, and his old-school pace is something that stands out these days, and that's a good thing, even if the movie itself is just OK) and then I came home and promptly turned out the lights.

I woke up around 3.  The night before I woke up around 5 and couldn't go to bed before I had to go to work.  Not like I was tired; there was so much to do, I didn't feel tired at all.  In fact, I didn't give myself an afternoon break.  That's the only saving grace from the hell of this position: You're so inundated with work, the hours are going to fly by.

I have a few hours to settle myself down.  It was so busy, by the way, that most of the coffee I bought yesterday morning is still in my thermos.  I want to drink most of it, but I don't want to be up the rest of the night.  So that's why I am drinking little bottles of bourbon and brandy.  Well, I bought those mini-bottles of alcohol to come down after work.  Will need to drink them tomorrow, for sure.

I gotta go work in the Fourth Department today/Monday.  First time in two weeks.  Frankly, I forgot everything I did then.  So everything will be new to me.  It'll be just like I'm back in training, ha-ha.  And I'm shocked at myself at how little I care that I will be up to my neck in shit I don't understand as soon as I sit down.

I hear there's an asshole I have to deal with on the regular in this position, too.  Avoided him a couple weeks ago, which means I'll have to confront him either today or tomorrow/Tuesday.  Add all the stress and anxiety I know I'll feel during work, and it's guaranteed I'll get into a screaming match with someone before these two days are over.

Ah, fuck this all. ...

You know, when you said last Week that things were copasetic for us to watch our Game this Week, you said nothing about the UFC.  So we were blindsided to see the place packed for a UFC bout.  We got to see our Game, but it wasn't as ideal as we expect.  Thanks for the head's-up two Weeks from now; I like notices like that.

Besides, our team shit the bed.  Who cares if we couldn't hear the Game?

Was He Serious? Is He Mad At Me?

OK, so work kind of took a funny turn yesterday/Friday as I was pulled from my default job to work in The Third Department.  One form has been updated, but federal requirements mandate that all companies from a certain date forward have to use these new forms.  They didn't, and so we have to tell them that all the information given in this old form has to be attested to be good for this new form.  That's a lot of faxes that need to be sent out, and a lot of faxes that are sent back to us, which means there is a lot of work matching these up so we can update our systems.  This seems to happen whenever there is a new form, the frequency of which I do not know.

That means that for the past couple weeks, these guys have been somewhat inundated with all these faxes that need to be matched up and processed.  They do what they can.  But maybe because they were absolutely overwhelmed or they thought about this but hadn't gotten around to implementing the idea sooner, they asked me to go back there for some quick matching.  It was about 90 minutes before lunch and an hour before I had to go, but I was back there, and I matched, and it was a nice change of pace, and I liked it.

The people back there ... uh, I don't know what happened.  They've been swamped with this stuff for a while now, and I believe they have had to stay long in order to at least get more of the work done.  Maybe, however, they got fed up yesterday.

Now, there's this guy.  It's not as if we know each other well, but he seems to be a chill dude.  I'm working around him, and he goes, out of the blue, "So, you're staying till 4:30?"

And I am fucking stunned.  I wasn't mad or anything.  Frankly, I think I just sat there staring at him because my first instinct was to say, "Yeah, OK, I can stay, I can help," but I couldn't because ... well, I really didn't want to stay there.  Why in the hell did he ask me that shit?  He has never asked me anything like that before.  In fact, I never thought he would ask me anything like that, well, ever.

But he looked at me.  And I looked back at him.  And then, to break the tension, another person starts laughing.  And then I say something about not knowing when someone is jerking my chain.

But that remark has stayed with me.  And, frankly, saying that to me, and him stunning me into silence because I was so gobsmacked ... that ain't cool, man.  I had a call that I had to receive after my work was done (which it turns out I didn't get because her phone system is all wonky or something), and that evening after dinner I slept for six hours.  So I couldn't have stayed late ... if he were serious.  And I still don't quite know if he was joking or not.  So I don't know if I should feel a tad guilty or not.  And then why would he ask me if I could stay late like that?  Shit, man, why didn't you tell me earlier than an hour before I thought I would leave?  And I didn't even know if I could stay late if I wanted to; I came in early yesterday, and I'm not sure if my boss would be OK that I would stay late to help these guys in this department.  If it were Data Entry I think it was fine because overtime was permitted all week.  But here?  Because you just asked out of nowhere if I could stay?  And since I said no, is he mad at me?  Shit, man, don't fuckin' put this on me.

Fuck, I'm now all confused and anxious.  And to start the weekend too, goddamn. ...

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

I am going to try to make this survey as brief as possible because I have to get up early in the morning.  And I know I should talk about the "Timberwovles" and the shitcanning of Gersson Rosas this Week, but I am just too tired, so hopefully I'll have time next week:

Positive Numbers: Lynx (Last Week: -2).  The franchise that remains, Year in and Year out, the class of Twin Cities franchises finished the way they often have by winning four in a row, including a three-Game sweep of Indiana Friday and Sunday's 83-77 victory over the Mystic in Washington, D. C. that eliminated them from the playoffs.  That spurt got the Lynx the three-seed and a bye from the First Round of the WNBA playoffs, a one-off which happened last/Thursday night.  Both First Rounders went according to seed, so Minnesota faces sixth-seeded (and scrappy) Chicago at Target Center late Sunday afternoon.  Assuming they win that one-off, they in all likelihood would face second-seeded Las Vegas, a club I think the Lynx match well with, in the best-of-three Semifinals.

#0: Gopher football (Last Week: -3).  No, Colorado is not a College Football Playoff contender.  And there was no way to project that the Gophers would do what they did after barely hanging on to defeat Miami of Ohio the prior Saturday.  Nevertheless, it is mighty damn impressive to go into Boulder, Colo., and not only beat a fellow BcS school but blank the Buffaloes Saturday afternoon by a score of 30-0.  It's the first time they shut out a fellow Power 5 school since 1977.  The U. held the Buffs to just 63 total Yards of offense, the lowest output for any top-flight school since Kansas got only a third of that four Years ago.  This could be the most ass-kickingest performance I've seen from a Twin Cities-based squad in decades.  I'm serious, and that's why I pushed the Lynx up to Positive Numbers: The U. gridiron club hasn't racked up as many accomplishments this Year, unlike the Lynx, but this demonstration of dominance is worth putting them above negative numbers.

Oh, and it looked as if Gopher fans traveled.  I swear that more former Minnesotans move to Colorado than to any other state, and that includes Wisconsin.  Some accounts pegged the crowd at Folsom Field to be a third maroon and gold, and for a team that was 1-1 going into the contest, that is an eye-opening percentage.  And they got to see a dominating win by the road team!

It's Homecoming in Dinkytown Saturday; they host Bowling Green early Saturday afternoon.

#-1: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: 0).  Finished the Diet Coke Classic, and their non-conference schedule, with a sweep of Iowa St. at Maturi Pavilion.  They have now won four in a row as they start B1G play hosting Michigan and Maryland this weekend.

#-2: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -1).  Well, this XI wasn't going to go undefeated.  They got out to an early 1-0 lead at Robbie Saturday night vs. Wisconsin on a Goal by Izzy Brown in the 11th Minute.  But the squad finally allowed a Goal for the first time all season about four Minutes later to level the tilt at 1.  Finally, in the 82nd, the Badgers' Jenna Kiraly scored to hand the Gophs their first loss of the Year.  But at least they followed that up last/Thursday night by crawling back from an early 2-0 hole in Columbus, Ohio against Ohio St. and tripping the Buckeyes, 4-2.

At Michigan St. Sunday, hosting Rutgers Thursday.

#-3: United FC (Re-Entry!).  I knew I was going to leave a team out of last Week's WMNSS.  I forgot that the Loons played a Match last Wednesday -- and seeing that it was a 4-0 beatdown at the hands of Sporting Kansas City, I think I had reason to forget it ever occurred.

But MNUFC followed up inarguably their worst Game this season to possibly their best Saturday night, toying with the Los Angeles Galaxy at Allianz Field, 3-0.  Bebelo Reynoso braced and got named to the MLS Weekly XI, while Ethan Finlay finished the scoring.  And they need every Point; that victory got them just on the right side of the playoff line.

Hosting Houston Saturday night before travelling midweek and facing a scary D. C. United at Audi Wednesday evening.

#-4: Twins (Last Week: -4).  As I said before, the second-half Twins would actually be a decent outfit.  Joe Ryan, in particular, looks to have the tools of an Ace, and a budding star, setting a record for most Strikeouts (eleven) through five or fewer Innings in Minnesota Twins History as he mowed down the Cubs at Wrigley Wednesday, helping the Twins win that Game and complete a mini two-Game sweep of the dismantled Cubbies.  Even Nick Gordon, a rocket once destined for the big leagues but has since dimmed, has shone, with a three-Run Home Run and four RBI last/Thursday night in defeating Toronto at Target.  Sure, they've been out of it for some time and only went 3-3 this screening Week, but trust me, they've played a hell of a lot better after the All-Star Break.

The season's almost over.  The last home Games of 2021 are this Week, with the Blue Jays finishing a four-Game set and then Detroit coming in for three.  I have a free voucher to a Twins Game, and I am going to use it for the final home date of the Year on Thursday.

#-5: Vikings (Last Week: -5).  I was out of it (or trying to be out of it) early Sunday evening, and I just saw Dallas win their Game over The Los Angeles Chargers on a Field Goal at the buzzer when I toggled over to see Greg Joseph push his FG try at the buzzer wide right in sending the ViQueens to a second loss, 34-33 to The Bastard Chicago By-Way-Of-St. Louis Cardinals in a State Farm Stadium where I could, at one point, hear a very loud "SKOL" chant going on in the stands.  Vikes fans travel well; too bad the club they're devoted to couldn't complete a road win they desperately needed.

There's been a lot of talk that the Vikes had numerous chances to put the Game away before Joseph's miss.  While that may be true, and I certainly don't want Zimmer's choices to not come back to haunt him ... MAKE THE GODDAMN KICK.  SERIOUSLY, WHY CAN'T YOU DO THAT?

I still think the season's over, but after that debacle last Sunday that put the Vikes in an 0-2 hole, I am now quite certain that Mike Zimmer is a dead man walking.  And he could be put further into the dirt as they finally play at home late Sunday afternoon against a Seattle Seahawks team that has had Minnesota's number.  This could get real ugly.

The Safe Space That Is My Baseline Job

I now work in four departments at my main job.  There are various stresses to three of them, especially the last one, which I started on last week and will be back onto next week.  I'm not a smoker, but by God if next week is anything like last week, I'm going to start.

But this week, besides Filing on Monday (which is its own bear for its own reasons), I have been at Data Entry, my first job, my default job, the job I do if I am not placed anywhere else, the task I was hired to do and the thing I know how to do the most.  Nothing much is asked of me.  All I do is key, key, key.  I can put my headphones on and listen to the radio and no one will ask how dare I.  And, at least for now, the two people with whom I have problems have not been getting on my nerves.  Let's hope that stays that way through tomorrow.

It is this week where I've come to realize how lucky I am to have this particular position.  The chaos of last and next week makes this week a welcome oasis, a time where I can clear my mind and a place where I can recharge for the crap I'll face Monday and Tuesday.  Besides coming in early for overtime yesterday and today (and tomorrow), just being able to type on my desk without being bothered ... well, it kind of feels like I'm not working at all.  I will cherish this week.

Expenses Without Receipt

Oops, it's getting long again.  Starting from Wednesday, September 22:

• Well, we go back to Sunday the 19th, where I was in a pickle.  I checked my Starbucks app and I saw that some of my "stars" are going to expire early next month.  I don't go there often, but I was close enough to get the smallest reward, which was like an extra shot of syrup or something.  But I needed to make one more purchase in order to get to that level.  So I popped in there after visiting Grandmother's best friend and I got some, uh, kiwi lemonade something or other.  I think I have enough "stars," but I now need to use them in two weeks.  With tip: $5.25.
• ETA at 2:58 a.m. on September 26 that a week ago, on September 19, Father paid me back for all the tickets I bought for him.  Got him some on this day and the week before, so it was an Infusion of: $40.
• Back to Wednesday the 15th, where I got a double-teamed handjob by ***e* and ******e, the details of which I detail here.  Afterward they asked me for another $20 because they hired a babysitter to take ***e*'s kids to the playground so we could fuck around at her apartment, which is above the apartment in which those two wanked me just last week.  Grand total: $300.
• Back to Tuesday the 14th, where I think I treated myself to McDonald's on my way to work because of the long training that morning ... even if it was only a half-day.  Total: $4.17.
• Tuesday, September 7: Got wanked by ***e* and ******e again. This time, no babysitter fee.  Maybe they just went off on their own.  Who knows?  Anyway: $280.
• We go back to Sunday the 5th, when I went to the Gopher soccer Match; this is one where they whipped Wyoming, 4-0.  Had a hot dog and a medium Coke for: $11.50.
• After coming home for dinner, I went back out.  Told my folks I was going to exercise, but really I was going to the Minnesota State Fair for a second time.  I have been tested since and it came back negative, so I didn't catch anything while I was there.  But was it because I heeded guidelines to not pick up the virus, were the other people there doing their part, or was I just lucky?  For example, the first thing I bought was a sidecar sandwich at this small place in the Grandstand called the Hideaway.  There was a line, and then I had to wait five minutes before I could pick up the sandwich (which was good but a little sweet).  The Hideaway apparently sold more drinks then food, if seeing all the other groups there just hanging out and loudly talking without masks are any indication.  And even though it was close to an opening, it wasn't as if this was outdoors.  This was the time where I sort of regretted coming to the Fair.  But, like I said, I didn't pick up the coronavirus.  That sandwich, plus a Wedge Hammer non-alcholic drink, plus cheese curds and the Indian equivalent called paneer from the new Hot Indian stall (which was around the corner from The Mouth Trap, where I got the curds) and root beer, and my plan to finish up my night with Minneapple Pie was foiled because I was too damn full.  Total: $40.
• On Friday the 3rd I went to Lisa's for my monthly shoeshine.  With tip: $15.
• I went to the Fair that evening.  I was able to do one of the main things I want to do whenever I go to the Fair: Figure out what people who do the footwork are calling The Best New Food Of The Fair.  This year it seems to be a consensus choice: A kind of hummus called Chili Baba, from this new vendor called Baba's which sells its hummus around town.  The Fair carved out a little kitschy trailer park scene for Baba's and a couple other new vendors on the north side of the Fairgrounds.  And even though the Chili Baba (hummus infused with kimchi -- talk about your serendipitous culinary culture clash! -- with these perfectly puffy pita chips to dip the hummus in) is a Mediterranean dish and the family running it was also Mediterranean, they were working out of an Airstream-like trailer.  Go figure.  In this "trailer park" was also the place where I got the Wedge Hammer two days later.  On this evening I got their Summer Breeze non-alcoholic shandy.  I am surprised that I didn't have any alcohol this year, but both drinks were great.  I actually wished it were hotter so both of them could quench my thirst and thus make the memory of drinking them indelible.  I also had corn, courtesy of a guy who gave me a buck off because he bought too many tickets, and the underrated Dole whip, pineapple-flavored soft serve ice cream that so many people told me this year was so unheralded that I had to finally have.  Both the corn and the Dole whip were fantastic.  Damage sum: $26.
• Back to Sunday, August 29 ... went to the Central Car Wash.  Charged the wash but used dollars for tip: $3.
• I then drove down Central to Diamonds to sort out my receipts.  Root beer -- man, where have you been my whole life? -- plus tip: $3.
• To Thursday the 26th, where I ventured out to this part out in St. Paul.  *****a invited me.  I expected her and four other girls to be there, but there were only two others, namely *u**** and *******y, neither of whom I had seen in ages.  I hope *****a didn't get mad, because I've been good to her, but my main concern was to fuck around with *u****.  She did that and then some: She volunteered to fuck me.  And she did.  I can still remember her being so warm inside her.  I was getting into it until she thought she needed to ask *******y, in whose we were in for the party, for a condom, which *u**** parlayed into a three-way.  I briefly went over my experience here, but let's just say that it was this night in which my stripper parties have reached a new height, where I now expect all-out sex because I have the money to pay for it.  Whether or not I have the "energy" for it, well, that's a different story.  But I paid out: $440.
• Sunday, August 22 -- U. soccer.  Hot dog, souvenir-sized Coke.  Should fetch that cup out of the car.  Total: $12.25.
• Friday the 20th I finally reconnected with ****e.  She didn't freak out or move or change phone numbers.  She said the reason I couldn't reach her was because she was in Morocco for the previous month.  Phew!  Fucked her for only: $120.
• Thursday, August 19 was the start of the 2021-2 college sports season because it was the first official women's soccer Match of the Year.  Minnesota faced Baylor and won, 1-0.  Bought a ticket (I should talk about my student card), a hot dog and a Coke.  Remember getting pissed that all the straws did that thing where it cracked at both ends.  I remember when I was young getting my tongue stuck inbetween a chipped straw end.  It traumatized you.  I had to drink from the cup for the whole Game.  All told I spent: $16.50.
• I then went to the Lamplighter lounge because I wanted to see ****a, who I also hadn't seen in ages.  Unfortunately, she confessed to me she's an anti-vaxxer.  She says if everybody else is getting a vaccine, why should she, and if she gets corona and dies, she gets corona and dies.  I still want her to suck my dick at some point, and do appreciate her honesty, but that is massively disappointing to hear from her.  So I didn't get a dance from her that I planned to.  I got one from this Black girl who hit me up named Bella.  She was good, but for now I just want to get dances from the babes I know.  With stage tips and a vodka cranberry, I spent: $30.
• Back to Friday the 13th, where I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Edition), the first time I have been back in a titty bar since the pandemic began.  I thought it was time to see my ATF ******a, but it had been so long that I didn't recognize her when she came up to me.  To make up for lost time, I basically bogarted her for my whole time there.  I had usually gotten around a dozen table dances from ******a per visit, but this time I extended it to, get this, 25 -- more than double the number for most dances I have ever gotten from her.  Hey, it's the perks of having a steady job and a bank account that hadn't been touched in over 18 months for extended stripclubbin'.  With cover, stage tips and a Redd's, I spent a grand total of: $283.
• Finally, back on Thursday, August 12, I was beckoned by ******e to ***e*'s new apartment to get double-teamed.  I have gotten a total of five HJs from them.  That fact is kind of stunning to me.  Total: $280.

Good through September 22.

Death Is Paying Another Visit

Things are getting very scary for me again.  Sad, too.

So the stripper girlfriend whom I have known, and who has jerked me off, the most, ***e*, lost her father last week.  I don't want to pry by asking details, but I assume it was sudden.  She had just recently moved into a basement apartment.  The apartment directly above hers opened up.  It had larger space for two bedrooms, so she took that one ... and kept the basement one so her father could move in.  I'm guessing he was there for a couple days, maybe less, before he died.

Despite my superficial misgiving, I still went over to her place (to her new apartment, right above her old one to which I paid a visit a week before) so she and ******e could double-team me for a handjob.  But of course I held her when I first saw her.  And then, as we were about to leave, we went down to the laundry room.  She was peering out from the basement window to the grass to the side of the apartment.  "That's where my father played with my kids," ***e* said, and for the first time ever I felt as if her eyes and thoughts became distant, trying to will her dad back to life by imagining him, in his folding chair, holding her two babies.  All I could do was put my hand on her shoulder.

I don't know what else I could do for her, but I care for her, so I am trying to volunteer what I can do if she needs anything.  I texted her last night and she said there's a possibility that she needs help moving.  Too many bad memories, she said.  I understand, even though this will be yet another move and she looked really, really happy there.

---

Yesterday after dinner, and after I went into my bedroom, Father knocked on my door.  I hate that he does that because ... well, I don't want him bothering me.  But he told me, in typical blindside fashion, that he and Mother went to my aunt's place to drop off a chicken and my cousin who has gone AWOL from the family opened the door and said my aunt was sick.  Father told me to get ahold of the cousin who lives with her.

I text him about once a month to see how they're doing.  My cousin always replies back that they're OK.  I wonder if they're lonely.  Do they live their lives resigned to just hanging out with each other?  Or are they content?  I hope it's the latter, but it's not as if I can do anything if it's the former.

Turns out there is something wrong with my aunt, something I kind of wish I had known before: She has kidney disease.  She's been living with this for a while, now, but lately it's advanced to a worse stage.  I think she's at home, and my cuz says she's not in pain but monitoring numbers.

I had been free from the clutches of Death for a long time now, so I fear that this visit is due.  I am scared for her, I am scared at how my cousin would feel living life without her.  And, to be honest, I have had passing thoughts on the deaths of my parents, in particular Father.  They remain in great health, but for a millisecond here or there over the past few weeks I have thought that one of them might not wake up in the morning, or I will get a text during the day to come home quick because something happened.  Well, something is happening.  Death surrounds me again.  And I hate it.

An Important Part Of My Grooming Now? My Eyebrows

Not as if I groom myself all that much -- I could use a shave, but I won't do that for at least another couple weeks -- but last week I noticed when I looked in the mirror that there was a long and wayward hair on my left eyebrow that made itself conspicuous because it wasn't flowing in the same direction as all the other hairs surrounding it and it was sticking out.  I got a haircut two, three weeks ago, and I think I asked the lady cutting my hair to trim my eyebrows if she believed they were getting long.  Either she thought they looked OK or she forgot asked.  Either way, I don't think I would have had this renegade follicle to worry about if she trimmed it.

So it was up to me.  Like I said above, I don't really care about my looks.  But this tall nail needed to be hammered down, so to speak, and so I took out my old and trusty Swiss army knife and used the scissor to (after a few awkward tries and cranes of my arm) slice it off.  And because I think this is the first time I ever did this, I picked it up out of the bathroom basin and put it on the napkin I use as a coaster for my drinks.  But I lost it somewhere when I disposed of the old napkin and replaced it with a new one.  And I feel sad.

Man, I have to fill in in Filing today.  All day, too.  So I have to work next to That Asshole, plus I might have to worry about dealing with that bitch in the other room, too.  I know that my temper is up to me to control, but goddamn man, all it takes is one of them saying the wrong thing to me today in the wrong way and I will be fucking triggered like shit, man.

Hey, maybe That Asshole is already triggered.  I was being passive-aggressive toward him last week; maybe if he's as much of a devious motherfucker as I am, he will mean to be mean to be me as soon as I step into the room, and well, let the goddamn fireworks begin.

Fuckin' Christ ... I know some bullshit's gonna happen today where I'm not going to take their bullshit lying down and I'll say something back to them and then, well ... let the fuckin' chips fall where they may, me boy. ...

Nightmare

In the one I had this morning, I had no underwear or pants on, I was holding a pair of pants, and I was trying to find a locked room in which I could put on my pants, but every time I stopped to put on my pants, someone would come in and interrupt me, so as not to be caught with no pants on, I had to continue running.  I did not put on my pants before I woke up.

Is the meaning behind this something sexual?  I've been trying to arrange a sex session the past couple days, but I got a HJ from two strippers last week.  (shrug)

The Great Escape, And The Sweetest Release

Things are tense at work right now, at least from my perspective.  When there are lingering terse interactions with people at work, and you know that you'll have to see those motherfuckers again, things get tense.  I need to work on my meditation; I hear that helps, though my mind can't think how it could.

Didn't help that I had this new position I was finishing up training and starting work in last week.  I may have trained myself into fearing and thus hating it, but I feared and hated it nevertheless.  I'm still amped up over last week, and since I will be filling in again next week, my jitters aren't going away.

When I'm like this, I feel as though I need to get away.  It was pure, blissful happenstance, then, that my half-day off Tuesday coincided with what appeared to be the last of my training.  I scheduled that afternoon off, which I shortened from four hours to three, well before training was scheduled that day for me because there was a Twins Game that was rescheduled for that afternoon (it was rained out from earlier in the summer) and, well, even though the Twinks blow this Year (and they lost the Game I went to), it was nice to play hooky so you could watch a baseball Game during work hours, aka a "businessman's special."

But the more I think about it, I needed to go to the Twins Game.  I'm not a man who's patient when it comes to training.  I understand I am learning information I don't know but have to know, but it's still boring to me.  And as I was being taught more stuff I didn't understand, the more I felt my mind crammed with crap.  I'm sure I rolled my eyes at my supervisor who was training me.  And breaks and reaching the end of the day didn't stop because, well, there was more the next day, and my capacity to take in information kept shrinking.  Getting away from it all and escaping to a baseball Game -- and in case I haven't said it here, I'll say it again: There are worse ways to spend your waking days on this Earth than at a baseball Game -- could not have come at a more opportune time ... but, and moreover, Tuesday morning, before I left, was also my last day of training.  I was going to jump into work the next day.  Completely abandoning work so I could take in a sport I love was the perfect way to cleave preparing for this new position and actually working this new position.  It seemed ... right, if that makes any sense.  Now, could I have trained the whole day?  Sure; I think I could have used it, and I think my supervisor would have preferred it.  But if the training wheels were going to be off on Wednesday, I think I should both be rewarded for what I went through and given a break before I started doing this for real.  In that sense, a weekday afternoon baseball Game, although it was only seven Innings instead of nine, was perfect.

And yet Wednesday was shit.  Sure, it was my first day, but I didn't expect, nor want to, stay for over an hour afterward.  (There is someone in Filing who began her day an hour after I started mine on Wednesday; she got out of work about 15 minutes before I got done with mine.)  I felt overwhelmed at many points.  There were dishes I needed to spin in the air for hours, and I still don't know if I haven't forgotten to do something.  (I was told I did fine, but I don't feel that way.  I usually don't after my first day at work.)

So it just so happens that sexual activity, the best way for me to relax after a bad day at work, was waiting for me once I finally got done.  Like with the Twins the day before, I did not arrange this specifically so that I could release tension right after work.  My stripper girlfriend ******e texted me because, instead of going home to Las Vegas, she was staying in town for another week.  (I don't know if she works.)  That gave me seven more days in which she and ***e* could, uh, double-team me.

At first I didn't like the surprise that she wasn't leaving for another week.  But I can't pass up two hot women stroking my dick, even if they had done so just the week before.  So I gave her several nights in which I was not busy and, turns out, Wednesday evening was the best time for them.  Things got really complicated with the death of ***e*'s father, but she was a trooper as those two dutifully wanked me that evening, a session I had to delay because I stayed at work late.  It, and I, came right on time, a sweet release also representing a great escape from the hell that is work from which I ran away from just less than an hour before.

I find myself diving into both sports and pornography as a way to keep myself sane in order to continue working in order to continue making money.  But if one is happy only if one gets away from it all, wouldn't it make sense just to stay where you get away from it all?

Hey, I Tried My Best

Two things concerning work/jobs last night that has me disconcerted, for now.

You know what?  I'll start with work.  I was filling in second shift.  There was a ton of stuff when I got there, and I didn't get through much by the time I left.  Don't want to get into details, but the forms that we generally get were updated.  By law, all the information for the samples we receive need to be filled out on these new forms when the samples are sent in on such and such a date.  Whenever that date was, all samples received after that date that came with the old forms have to have a special process done to them, all of it centering around asking for proof that the people collecting the sample knew they were using old forms and explaining why they did.  If this proof isn't issued, we don't test the sample.

There is, to be frank and crude, a shit ton of these old forms.  One of the things that need to be done with them is to scan them into our records.  That is what I did for the majority of my shift that ended.  And that probably makes me look bad when my supervisor comes in in the morning.  I'm guessing that this task is going to push a lot of work to the back burner.  But at least on a visceral level, I left folders upon folders upon folders all over the room.  It is largely a standard, if not a hard and fast rule, that you at least are able to get through the work that was there when you started your shift.  That did not happen last night, not at all.  I was too busy scanning all these forms -- a large and herculean task that I decided needed to be done before most other things ... even though it is not clear to me it is such a priority that I had to drop everything in order to take care of this task first.

Oh, and by the way, I didn't get through all the old forms that were left for me.  I got through some, but not all.  Oh, and I stayed an extra half-hour even though I wasn't asked to.  There were these, uh, other things I really, really wanted to complete before I left, and by the time I got done and shut everything down and cleaned everything up, it was 12:30.  So it is possible that my supe is coming in tomorrow and is seeing literally dozens of folders that I did not get around to, including these special folders containing all these old forms, and she's going to get pissed and wonder why in the hell didn't I work, even though I stayed an extra 30 minutes that, if you want to look at it through conspiratorial eyes, makes me look as if I racked up overtime without doing the commensurate work.  Shit, man, I did work, hard and steadily, but it's just so goddamn much!  Now, could I have worked, uh, harder and faster?  Sure, according to her standards.  But I'm not going to blow out my heart just so I could prove to her, or to anyone else, that I am working hard.  I have panic attacks at work as is, Christ. ...

---

What I don't get, and what I somewhat am scared of more, is this letter I got from the company for which I scored tests.  It was a warning letter.  It said that there were concerns about the speed at which I scored tests.  Now I remember coming on here and worrying that my poky speed at the time -- affected by the distractions around my bedroom as I worked from home -- would raise the attention of the powers that be over there, and it actually did -- sort of.  What I got from the letter was that the massive fluctuation in answer reading led to a wide fluctuation in scores ... and that the faster I got, the worse my scoring accuracy became.

So-so-so ... uh, is she saying that the faster I worked, the more inaccurate I got?  I was worried all this time about working too slowly, and it now seems as if my decision to work faster has backfired on me.  I don't get why they're so upset, especially when I was told repeatedly by the supervisors during the project that we could all be going faster.  And speaking of that, no one I worked for at the test scoring project raised any concerns in the way I scored these essays.  In fact, I was told during the project that I should hew the distribution of my scores closer to the project average, which I did over time.  And since I started working faster to boot, that means the scores I gave were actually more inaccurate?  I don't believe it, but I would like someone to explain it to me if that were the case.

The last sentence in that letter was ominous.  Paraphrasing: "We cannot employ you any longer if your scores continue to be this inaccurate."  First of all, I'm not being inaccurate!  And second of all, does she really think she could just send this without thinking it has to be elaborated upon?  This warning was a total fucking blindside, and I think I should call her to make sure this wasn't some big misunderstanding.  Because if we Work From Home again next year, I will have no clue if what I'm doing, and the speed at which I'm doing it, are truly satisfactory to them.

Two jobs, tons of real and perceived complaints.  But hey, what can I do?  I tried my best -- right?

Three Calls And Nothing Good Came From Them

Had to make three calls today: One to my cell company to enquire about getting a new phone for my brother-in-law; one to my dental clinic to get an itemized bill; and one to the energy company because my parents were told that the washing machine they bought for the house was eligible for a rebate.

I went out to Subway because there was a deal in free chips that expired today.  It was in this parking lot where I ate a footlong egg-and-cheese flatbread (do they have them in six inches?  I should have looked into that) and made calls.

The first call, to my cell company, I had to wait an hour.  I gave them my number and waited for them to call me back.  Naturally, I missed that call.

The second, to the dental clinic, went to voicemail.  I left a VM, for the second time this week.

The third, to the electric company, entailed a ten-minute wait.  I got home and I just called them.  The electric company does not have a rebate for washing machines.

I am waiting for my cellphone company to call me back while I blog this.  In the meantime, I have one loss (the electric company), one draw that feels like a loss (the dental clinic), and one draw that is still up in the air (the cellphone company).

Have you ever had one of those days where you're thinking that you're doing something, but the results make you feel as if you've done nothing at all?  That's how I feel right now.  And it sucks.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -4).  OK, this is more like it.  Went to Eugene, Ore., and won both Matches of their Big Ten/Pac-12 Challenge over the weekend, beating two teams ranked slightly behind the-then tenth-ranked (?) Gophers, Stanford (in four Sets) and Oregon (in five).  They then started their Diet Coke Classic last/Thursday night by defeating new top-flight athletic program, St. Thomas, in straight sets.

So ... maybe around tenth-best this Year?  It's not a championship, but at least I have a better inkling as to how this squad could/should be.  The U. finishes up its own tournament Saturday night playing Iowa St.  After that, it's the B1G.

#-1: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -1).  And so ends maybe the most notable non-conference schedule this program has ever gone through, and one that has its share of success.  In their only Game of the screening Week, the Gophers ended their non-con by blanking North Dakota 2-0 at Robbie Stadium.  So they go into conference play with a record of 4-3-0, scoring eight Goals and allowing ... zero.  (By the by, all three of their Draws were scoreless.  Make of that what you will.)  Have they ever gone through a non-con slate without a loss?  If they have, it's news to me.

And yet I can't put them above negative numbers.  For one thing, the volleyball club played three Games, two of which were against ranked schools, and won all three of them.  Impressive output there.  And second, from what I can tell quickly scrolling through Chris Henderson's Woso twitter feed, he does not have Minnesota anywhere near the top of the rankings when it comes to RPI or any other metric you could think of.  I'm not absolutely sure that, at this very early stage, he would put the U. in the NCAA field of 64.  Not having overwhelming success against what isn't exactly Murderers' Row probably explains it.

But they're a BcS school, so here comes a step up in foe.  It starts off with a home date vs. a very good Wisconsin side, and then they travel to face Ohio St. on Thursday.

#-2: Lynx (Last Week: -3).  The Indiana Fever are the worst team in the WNBA.  Thank the scheduling gods, then, for having Minnesota play them three Games in a row -- the fourth-to-the-last, third-to-the-last, and penultimate ones -- the first two of which serve as the final Games of the season at Target Center.  So yeah, they took both tilts at home comfortably.  That, combined with the Phoenix Mercury finally losing, has pushed the Lynx back into a spot where they'll get a bye for the First Round/Play-In Games.  In fact, the Lynx sit in third place right now, a half-Game ahead of bugaboo Seattle, who have not been the same since the Olympic Break.  (Meanwhile, the Connecticut Sun has clinched home-court advantage through the entire playoffs, and who the hell saw that coming?)

They could still slip into fifth, but there is that Game in Indianapolis tonight.  However, there is a date in Washington Sunday against a Mystics ballclub that could still be fighting with the Los Angeles Sparks for the final playoff spot that wraps up the regular season.  Minnesota's in; where and how, unfortunately, are still up in the air.

#-3: Gopher football (Re-Entry!).  The footballers broke their duck (it's a British term -- am I saying that right?) Saturday afternoon by beating Miami of Ohio, but by a somewhat disconcerting 31-26 score.  The Gophers led at Halftime, 21-3, but the Redhawks racked up ten Points (to Minnesota's zero) and scored 17 straight to make the score 21-20 early in the Fourth Quarter.  But a Trey Potts 21-Yard Touchdown Run (replacing Mo Ibrahim, gone for the season after getting injured in the loss to Ohio St.) and Matthew Trickett nailing a Field Goal from 50 was all the cushion they needed.

Still, a five-Point victory against a Mid-American Conference team doesn't instill confidence.  Worse yet is Ohio St. losing at home, and handily, to Oregon, which, by the transitive property all college football fans use to compare their teams to others, means that the U. may not be as good as they seemed to fare against the Buckeyes.  But more proof is on the way: In the type of Power 5-versus-Power 5 (or, come to think of it, "Alliance") matchup that is both welcomed and still not enough, Minnesota travels to Boulder, Colo., in an intriguing contest vs. the Colorado Buffaloes Saturday at high noon.

#-4: Twins (Last Week: -2).  I went to Tuesday afternoon's Doubleheader opener versus Cleveland.  It wasn't a regularly scheduled Game; it was a makeup for a rainout in June.  And since there was a night Game as well, by rules that carried over from the pandemic 2020 season, both Games were reduced in length to seven Innings.

You know what?  I didn't mind that.  It took just a bit over two Hours to finish the contest.  I had time to talk to my usher friend from the theater, then drive off to the gym to work out starting in the early evening.  It also reminded me of earlier in the summer when I took in a St. Paul Saints Game vs. the Iowa Cubs with my friend.  It was a regularly-scheduled nine-Inning affair, but they scheduled a Game that was suspended back on June 20 to be finished just before the evening one, and because (and I'm spitballing here) that first Game was scheduled to be nine Innings, that was going to go the whole nine even though there were two Games that day and the nightcap was going to be seven Innings only.  (Quick recap: The I-Cubs had a two-Run lead headed into the bottom of the Ninth in the unsuspended Game, only for the Saints to plate three and win, the last of those Runs being scored on a bounder that hit off an Infielder's glove close to Second Base.  The second Game went into extra Innings, and in the *eighth,* the Game-ending Run came on a chopper that went high enough in the air for the Saints Runner on Third Base to score well before any throw from the Cubs Fielder could reach him [and the Fielder did not throw].  Thus, the Saints "walked it off" twice on August 17!)  I was squeamish about staying late, especially after our Game was tied after seven, but I got home at a decent hour to sleep just enough (I think) to roll into work the next day.

What am I trying to say?  I think this is a minority opinion, but I don't mind baseball Games that are part of Doubleheaders being seven Innings long.  It's not like it's a foreign concept; a decade or more ago, the Big Ten regularly scheduled DHs as part of a three-Day, four-Game weekend conference series, and those Saturday tilts were each only seven.  And as much as we want to romanticize turning off the stopwatch and allowing ourselves to be swept away by the unhurried rhythms of baseball, well, we're busy people, and we want to get going to our next thing as soon as possible.  Besides, Major League Baseball still has a pace of play and time bloat issues; it's taking an axe to the problem, but you'll definitely save some time if you lop off two Innings from a Game.  (Oh, and I also don't mind starting off extra half-Innings with a Runner on Second.  Speeds things up, you know?)

Oh, the Twinks ... yeah, they lost the Game that I went to Tuesday afternoon, 3-1.  Joe Ryan was pitching solid for Minnesota, but then he gave up a massive Home Run that reached the upper deck in Center Field, then a comebacker hit him in the wrist.  That hit was so bad, and so clear, that he didn't even pick up the ball that stopped right in front of him.  He just walked off the field without waiting for trainers and slammed his glove in the dugout.  (Right now the team says Ryan doesn't need any surgery, thank goodness.)  They beat the Proto-Guardians in the nightcap, however, 6-3, one of only two Wins for the Week, next to five Losses.  The most egregious of those, by the way, was Monday afternoon's makeup date at the Yankees.  The Twinks were leading when, who knew, they pissed down their legs again, gave up a Game-tying three-Run Home Run to Aaron Judge in the eighth, then lost it in the tenth.

At Toronto this weekend, at Wrigley to play a two-fer at the Cubs midweek, then a four-Game series with the Blue Jays at home starting on Thursday.

#-5: Vikings (Re-Entry!).  Yeah, this is what I feared the most: Confusion, lack of discipline, no margin for error when the shit hits the fan and, ultimately, a Loss to what was a putrid Cincinnati squad last Year to open the regular season this Year.  The Offense, which carried this team through a godawful 2020, was once again the weakest link in Sunday's matchup.  And even though I don't think Dalvin Cook fumbled the ball in Overtime, it was a case where the replay would not show anything definitive enough to change whatever the call was on the field.

The next day, I saw something in The Athletic that changed my mind about Head Coach Mike Zimmer.  The writer of the piece noted that he frequently points out how his players screwed up ... and that he has rarely, if ever, said anything about the coaching -- his coaching.  Many Zimmer haters have said this about him, and I now see it, too.  I predicted this team would go 5-12, which would force the Wilfs to clean house.  Zimmer continuing to throw his guys under the bus would be a red flag that he is a desperate man willing to do anything in order to keep his job.

This Sunday they are in Phoenix to play The Chicago-By-Way-Of-St. Louis Cardinals.  Kyler Murray could dance through a keyhole.  Chandler Jones racked up five Sacks as they went into Nashville and torched The Bastard Houston Oilers.  You really think the ViQueens aren't going 0-2?

First day in this new position and ... it was as much of a disaster as I feared it would be.  Non-stop work at breakneck speed, and I don't know if I had the energy, or the notes, to stay on top of it all.  Asked so many questions to my supervisor that I could tell she was getting short with me.  And I know -- I know -- I messed up in a big way.  I think I know how, but I'll wait till I get in today and my supervisor will definitely let me know about it.

I was in a bad mood all day long.  I never felt as though I had my legs under me.  And so, when I finally went on break, it was my fucking luck that That Asshole was walking in front of me.  And he was doing something whereby he stopped walking, and I didn't know if I should just walk around him or wait until he got done.  And then he looked at me, and then I looked at him, and I gave him a look like, "What the fuck?" and I went past him.  It is my intention to act as if I was busy being worried about my new position all day, and I was, but goddamn I slipped so easily into being a passive-aggressive prick when the opportunity presented itself.  Oh my God, we're going to get into a screaming match before the year's out.

Oh yeah, this was supposed to be how my day went yesterday.  Bad.  It went bad.

Welp, time to go to bed, wake up, go to work, and see how I fucked up yesterday.  Shit, man ...

Grieving Handjob

Tonight I get double-teamed by the duo of ***e* and ******e for the third time in about a month and for the second time in about a week.  It's also the fifth time total; the first time they both gave me a handjob, almost nine years ago, is a landmark moment in my whoring hobby, and frankly my life as well.

******e had moved out of state, and I had lost touch with ***e* while she was going through some things.  Then, out of the blue a couple months ago, I went to a party and saw ******e there, even though I not only she wasn't invited (at least according to the text invitation I got), but she was also living out in Las Vegas.  We caught up on old times and then she wanked me.  ******e let me know that ***e*, her very close friend, had found some stability and an apartment, so ******e invited me over to ***e*'s new pad ... and then stroke my dick until I came.

******e left for Vegas, but then inexplicably came back to Minnesota less than a month later.  When she told me she was back in town, we arranged another three-way at ***e*'s place.  That was last week.  ******e extended her stay another week, so we arranged another tryst.

And then ***e*'s father died.  It didn't dawn at me on first even though the both of them noted the death on Facebook.  In the meantime ******e and I were going back and forth, nailing down a time.  We agreed that we would fuck around again tonight after work, but that was before I asked to make absolutely sure ***e* was down with it, because she seemed very close to her father and would thus be naturally broken up about his passing and busy making arrangements for funeral services, communicating with extended family and the like.  But ******e said yes, so either ***e* is able to compartmentalize, she needs the money I'll give her for her sexual services -- or ******e is lying.

This is going to be weird, but honestly, I'm kind of looking forward to the grieving handjob I might be getting later today.  Yeah, I'm fucked up like that.

I Hate Fantasy Football

In one of my fantasy football leagues I lost playing against Lamar Jackson, and in my other fantasy football league I lost playing with Lamar Jackson.

I hate fantasy football.

Oh, fuck work.  My God, That Asshole corrects my mistake again in a way that makes him sound like a dick, again.  And this time there's this other woman who's berating about getting something to her faster.  Bitch, I got other things I have to get to.  Shut the fuck up.  Shit.

I haven't hated work to this extent in a long time.  It doesn't help that it isn't the work that is overwhelming me, but dealing with the assholes I work with and around.  Bad work I think I can deal with; bad co-workers and I have a goddamn problem.  And all this just before I start this Fourth Department position that is already terrifying the fuck out of me.

I haven't felt my heart palpate like this, my left side ache and burn like this, since the last time I got pissed off and stressed out ... which could have been at work or at home, I don't know.  All I know is that PEOPLE FUCKIN' SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

I Had Missed My Work Computer

I have a desk of my own at work.  It's unusual, for people in all the departments I work in don't have their own.  They're constantly moving because the tasks that many of us do require us to go to other stations in order to do them.  I have to shift around as well; my job makes me flit from one spot to another.  But yet I have my own computer, thank Buddha.  I need something "of my own" (it's not like it's mine and that I can take it home or anything) at work, otherwise I would feel like a true, disrespected cog.

However, there was a time a couple months ago where I would not be using my computer for long, long stretches.  It might be a part of the nature of my job, it could be that we are short-staffed, and it could be that other people wanted to take days off and I filled in for them.  But there were gaps, big gaps during the summer in which I was everywhere except my, uh, "home."

I realized this when I sat down at my computer.  When I know that I will be away from it for a while, instead of logging of like we're supposed to, I shut it off.  I turned it on and thought, "Yeah, it's been a while since I've turned this on.  When was the last time I sat here?"  And I took a couple minutes to look at my calendar so I could jog my memory.  I took a note of that, and then the next day I was working at another desk, only coming back to my space after, I guess, a few weeks.

So even though this may be wrong, after taking another swing at where I was for work over the past three months, I want to type out that there were some days early in the summer I was away from my desk, only to finally get back to my desk on June 23.  I was away again, only to return on June 29.  I then was gone for a while once more, but came back to work at my desk July 14 and 15, and then I was working somewhere but then coming back ... the days in which I worked somewhere else became shorter and shorter, so I was back at my desk more and more, and now I am back to working at my desk a lot.

There you go.

Will I Learn To Control Myself?

Maybe things have come to a head after what, and how much, I ate yesterday.  I could also be feeling this way because my alma mater got embarrassed at home last night.

I went into to work yesterday; helped out in the afternoon because, somehow, they were short-staffed.  I went to the gas station before work because I had in my mind buying two Pepsis because it was BOGO for $1.  I then saw a bottle of Perrier.  Perrier at a gas station?  And then I remembered reading an article online that instead of sugary drinks, one should, as an alternative, drink seltzer water, Perrier being one of the most flavorful.  And I thought: You know, if I'm going to be serious about cutting down on sugar, I should drink Perrier instead of Pepsi.  And then I bought two Pepsi bottles.

Had dinner after work, no big deal.  A had a hard sleep, the kind where you'll have nightmares before waking up 11 hours after you conked off, before the alarm woke me up so I could go to the bar and watch the game.  And because I wanted to give these guys our business I ate.  A lot.  The carnitas wrap was fine, as was the Angry Orchard.  Threw in another Pepsi, too.  But it's the cheese curds, man, the cheese curds that I still feel in my stomach.  Maybe that wasn't such a good idea as a second course.

My waistline is 39 inches.  I weigh 177 pounds.  And even though I know in my heart of hearts they're not the problem and I'm only using their presence as an excuse, my parents aren't leaving for Vegas or a cruise any time soon.  So, I have to control myself.  But will I learn to control myself?

Nightmare -- And This Is A Weird One

I don't remember much of the details; I don't remember details of nightmares, plus this one happened at least a couple weeks ago.  All I can recall are a couple of guys in business suits literally being walked down halls and in buildings by a group of men fully enshrouded in tactical gear and with a lot of weapons on their hands, including one pointed right at the people they're kidnapping.

The thing is ... I noticed that the flies on the two business people are open and in fact -- I can't believe I'm blog posting this -- their hard dicks are protruding through those flies.  No, they're not flaccid penises just jutting out of the opened pants zipper.  These cocks are fully erect, and they are big, and these huge shafts -- but not their balls -- have proudly crossed that tonsorial red line for all the world to see.  Except that the world isn't getting to see these guys' dicks ... because one of the kidnappers in both groups is grabbing that businessman's cock.

Again, I don't understand why that is the detail I remember.  Shit, man, I don't know why I'm having a nightmare featuring hard and out dicks.  Maybe I'm projecting.  Maybe I'm secretly gay.  All I know is that's a weird fucking nightmare to have.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -2).  I forgot this last Week as I was rapidly trying to finish that WMNSS, but I'm glad the club dominated Wyoming 4-0 Sunday -- I was at that Match, and I didn't see them scoring all those Goals, let alone all in the First Half -- and then tied Nebraska-Omaha at 0 last/Thursday night.  That means the facts that were true last Week, and excite me, still hold true this Week!

Those facts?  Minnesota is one of four top-flight women's soccer teams that still have yet to concede a Goal.  However, of those four, the Golden Gophers are the only team that is not perfect.  Tennessee, Wake Forest, and Boise St. have won all their Games up to last/Thursday night while keeping their sheets clean.  (Wisconsin-Milwaukee was part of that group last Week, but lost last/Thursday night at home to Wisconsin, 2-1 in Double Overtime.)  Meanwhile, the U. has alternated Wins and Draws through their six Games so far this season.  What this says about this squad, I don't know, but it is interesting.  And they outclass all the other Twin Cities teams for the screening Week.

By the way, while they are one of only for XI's who have yet to allow a Goal, there are still many undefeated teams.  And that might be why they are not ranked in any poll.  They haven't even received any votes, if I'm not mistaken.

One final non-conference tune-up: They host North Dakota Sunday afternoon.  The same time as the Vikings' regular season opener?  The Fighting Hawks could get back to their campus in Grand Forks in plenty of time if they left in the early evening, could they not?

#-2: Twins (Last Week: -3).  A 4-3 screening Week.  They avoided getting swept in Tampa with a 6-5 Win on Sunday, and that started a four-Game winning streak that ended yesterday/Thursday evening, a 4-1 Loss to Cleveland that prevented the Proto-Guardians from getting swept at their home.

I swear that the Twins have played much better in the second half.  Jorge Polanco, a man I know I have trashed in WMNSSs past, is still hot.  Moreover, there are some greenshoots coming from the mound that makes the hearts of (gullible) Twins fans beat much faster for next season.  Bailey Ober continues to hold his own in The Show.  Moreover, Joe Ryan, one of the assets the Twins got from the Bay Rays in exchange for Nelson Cruz, had a spectacular second Major League Baseball Start Wednesday evening, taking a Perfect Game into the Seventh Inning, one-hitting Cleveland and winning, 3-0.  I detest the pattern of this organization trading players in the prime of their careers for the next young wave of players that still need time in the Minor League.  But frankly, the Starting Pitching has been much better the second half of the Year.

The ballclub host Kansas City this weekend, then have back-to-back make-up Games.  On Monday afternoon they go out to The Bronx to play the Yankees, a make-up of a rain-out on August 22.  They then come back to Target Field and host Cleveland Tuesday afternoon, which is a make-up of a rain-out on June 26.  (I am endeavoring to be at the contest, by the way.  Have the afternoon off for it.)  They will then go back to their regular schedule; Minnesota and Cleveland have a mid-week two-Game set scheduled for Tuesday and Wednesday evenings.

#-3: Lynx (Last Week: 0).  A five-Game winning streak that was extended Saturday with an 18-Point victory over Washington at Target Center came crashing down emphatically Wednesday night with a 21-Point demolition at the hands of hosts Las Vegas.  As great as ripping off five in a row is, the Lynx remain in a precarious position -- namely, as of press time, fifth in the WNBA and thus subject to the First Round of the playoffs, a one-off quasi play-in that, if they lose, would be the team's earliest exist from the postseason since they stopped sucking.  That outside-looking-in spot happened because two teams have gotten their shit together and are now red-hot: Connecticut, who is currently on an 11-Game winning streak, has the best record in the WNBA and somehow has become the favorites to win the championship; and Phoenix, who has won ten in a row to currently lead the Lynx for the fourth-best record in the league (and the subsequent bye) by a half-Game with just two Weeks to go.

Luckily they have a chance to get back up this weekend.  They host the Indiana Fever, the worst team in the WNBA, Friday and Sunday.  Those are the last two home Games of the season.

#-4: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -4).  Once again, I appreciate the high standards this program now expects of themselves.  There are not many pushovers the U. volleyballers schedule.  At some point, however, this fuckin' team has live up to its own lofty ranking and fucking beat a good team.  And they have yet to do that.

Their latest disappointment was a diplomatic road trip, a one-off defeat in Gainesville, Fla., to Florida.  Of the four teams the Goofers have played so far this Year, three of them have been ranked.  (All of them in the Top Ten, by the way.)  The U. has lost to all three sides, and all of them, coincidentally, in four Sets.

I am very, very concerned about not just this squad, but this program.  A high-functioning one like Minnesota should have won at least one of those Matches.  But now they head to the Big Ten/Pac-12 Challenge (after undergoing a similar Challenge with the Big 12) having not yet demonstrated they can beat a ranked team.  They play two of them this weekend in Eugene, Ore., Stanford and Oregon.  The Cardinal are currently ranked 14th, the host Ducks 11th.  Slightly lesser caliber of opponent, but can the U. beat these clubs?  If not, the U. would go to 1-5, and it sure as fuck should be panic button-pushing time.

A few Weeks ago I agonized over no longer reviewing the U. women's volleyball team in the survey because St. Thomas has one that is transitioning to Division 1, and I can't follow two women's college volleyball teams, so I won't follow either.  It's bad starts like that that don't make me miss following this team anymore.  WTF is all I can say.

Eating Fast Food As An Act Of Rebellion

I should be forever grateful for having free food to eat for dinner, I know.  Still, for the past couple nights I have not been impressed with what I ate.  We had, as a main course, some ... well, I really don't know.  What I'm guessing is so really fatty beef, the kind with a lot of fatty skin, the top of which you could still see the short hairs on the dermis.  I could eat it, sure, but it's not my favorite.  Worse than that, for the past couple nights I have had to eat this dark green, sugary bean soup Mother makes on occasion.  I fucking hate eating/drinking it.  Just hate it.

So, anticipating I would have to eat all that crap for a third night in a row, and in a way rebelling and asserting my own independence in an effort to eat tasty food, I ate fast food before coming home.  I thought I would be coming home closer to 5 because there is a lot of work at work, but instead I was able to come home closer to 4.  But I had told Father before I left in the morning that I would be coming home by 5.  But, I then decided I was going to eat before going home ... and eating.  I wasn't coming home at 4 after all.

But where to eat?  I couldn't decide.  I first thought Dairy Queen, because the warm days aren't going to last and ice cream won't make sense by the time it's cold out (not like I haven't eaten ice cream when it's been cold out anyway).  But there was this frozen drink I haven't tried at McDonald's yet -- now, which one was it?  It didn't matter; I jerked my car over to the lane in order to turn, and I used a deal to get the blue ... uh, slushie (?) and a McChicken.  But it was still warm out, and it'd be a waste of a day to not spend at least five minutes enjoying ice cream outside.  So, I texted my parents saying that I would get home closer to 4:30, and then I used a deal for a small chocolate shake.  Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah.  Oh, I got home closer to 4:45.  I think they're used to me not coming home when I said I would, but it's something I should work on.

So, I ate a McChicken, a medium blue raspberry (?) slushie, and a small chocolate shake before coming home.  Oh, and I ate a banana and a croissant, food Father forces me to take to work to eat.  And what do my folks have waiting for me?  Not that scary fatty beef fat skin.  It was spaghetti.  My favorite food.  And it tasted good.  And it would have tasted better if I had an emptier stomach.  Oh, and no sugar bean slop tonight, either.

Maybe I should have known I wouldn't eat that crap three nights in a row. ...

Come On, No Headphones?!

Yeah, yesterday at work wasn't as good as I hoped it would be.  Well, my supervisor said I was getting the hang of things.  I appreciate the kind words, but I don't believe that to be the case.  Things didn't come back to me as I would have liked, a product of being away from work for a whole week.  And there's no telling whether I'll be able to remember everything I did this morning when I go back, let alone next week when I'm actually doing it.

What really ticked me off was that, for today's training, I will be off on my own, I will be at the actual desk where I work for this new/Fourth Department ... and my supervisor says she wants me off my headphones for the whole day.  Dammit!  I hate it when I am doing a task that is both difficult and boring.  I need a distraction; that's why I've got a headphone jammed into at least one ear while I'm working.  But she says that at this job, I'll have to be attentive to when someone or a call approaches me.  Well, I think I can walk and chew gum at the same time.  Moreover, if it's a long day, and if I'm kind of pissed, I need to freakin' listen to something.  Hey, I'll deal with a day with no radio tomorrow, and maybe even through training.  But once I'm doing this for real, I'm putting my headphones on for real.  And if this job precludes me from doing that ... well, we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

I didn't really take the news I couldn't listen to anything very well.  Not the news but my reaction to that news ratcheted up the tension in me, and I wasn't good the rest of the day.  That ain't the attitude one should bring to your fantasy football auction, but I did, and (this is inside fantasy football baseball, so forgive me), I left $19 of fake money on the table.  I could have gone and bid more for one of those Wide Receivers I wanted -- D. K. Metcalf, Justin Jefferson, even Robert Woods.  If I were in a better frame of mind from work, I think I would have had a better auction.

And I'm still so frazzled at training the rest of the week that I can't even look at porn to relax, let alone masturbate to take the edge off.  Well, the former at least isn't true; I looked at porn just now on the Internet.  But touching myself before getting to the end of this hellish work week?  Ick.  I'm glad I got double-teamed by ***e* and ******e Monday night, before I started training.

May this day be less worse than the previous one.  Don't know how, but I wish it so.

Back To The Freakin' Grind

I have always been kind of sad at the end of Labor Night.  It's The Unofficial Death Of Summer.  I've been conditioned to dread that night because The First Day Of School usually was the next day, and that meant nine months of captivity.

It sort of gets easier when you're an adult, but not really in some other ways.  For some reason, this past Labor Night hit me hard.  As arduous working as a gopher for the Gopher football Game was, it was a break from my main job.  It was like taking a weeklong vacation, except you were making money.  The end of that gig led into the long weekend (after I took Friday off), and so I enjoyed four days of freedom and bliss after another four days of not needing to go to work.  Seeing that that's all over and I would have to go back to work after such a long period made me sad, to be honest.

Compounding that misery was what I had been through before my gig at the U. and what I had to look forward to once I came back.  Training for this brand new department, apparently the fourth and final department I'll be working in, has been both a bear and a bore.  It's tons of work I don't understand, and try as she might, what she says is mostly going over my head.  I think the part of this department I will hate the most is that the work that comes in, and it'll come in sporadically through the day, has to get done that day.  I can see myself staying late by an hour, or two.  If I dread the work, such a day will be hellish for me.

That's the saving grace of having the kind of Monday I usually have.  Mondays bring in a skeleton crew; the forms we received were filled out on Sundays, and obviously there aren't many businesses open on Sundays, so not only is there less work and more time to go through it, but fewer people that make me feel boxed in.  Yesterday was even better because it was a Tuesday after a holiday.  Usually Tuesdays are our busiest day of the week -- work comes in from all the stuff businesses wanted to get through on Monday -- but not this Tuesday because the work came in from Monday, which was Labor Day.  Also, the workweek was a day shorter, and that's always nice.  Moreover, there were these other forms that had been backlogged from previous days, but that made yesterday even more better.  That meant that I could come in and bury my nose in, for the most part, only one job: Entering the data for all these forms that needed to be done days ago.  You give me one simple task that I know how to do, you give me my space, and I can work and I can breathe.  That doesn't always happen, but if it does, it happens on the first day of my workweek.  And that sets me on a glide path to deal with the more hectic four (three for this week) days the rest of the week.

Unfortunately, I have training the rest of the week.  It is back to a tedious yet difficult grind whose processes I need to remember after taking a whole week to forget them.  And I will be thrown into the deep end, ready or not; I am off on my own in this new department starting next week.

I did nothing on Labor Day but sit in my bedroom and think if I really wanted to brave all those anti-maskers on the way to and from the State Fair.  I was torn in my decision to stay in bed, but right now, I would rather face that agony than march in in the morning to more training of this stultifying crap.

Maybe I Need To Re-Think This "Risk Mitigation" Thing

I take responsibility for the choices I make when it comes to potentially contracting COVID-19.  I get that.  But I guess I still didn't really digest the possibility that, when riding from or to the Minnesota State Fair on the Park & Ride bus, even though they "strenuously encourage" all riders to wear masks, that some maskholes wouldn't.

It wasn't bad the first night, Friday, going there and back.  I saw a couple sans masks, and I made sure I stayed the hell away from them.  But on both segments there were few people riding and so I was able to keep my distance away from them.  Sunday was a different story.  I actually drove from one Park & Ride to another -- partly because the wait for the bus to the Fairgrounds at the first place was way too long -- a bus actually came but left without picking us up because I think the driver had to go on break -- but also because there were at least five people who seemed to be maskless, three of them being little shit teens.  The bus was right there when I parked at the second spot, but unfortunately a couple who sat behind me immediately pulled down their masks to begin talking.  This bus had another stop at a Park & Ride; that full bus immediately emptied by half, and so I just got up and sat two rows ahead of those damned offenders.

I was not so lucky on the way back.  Sunday night was a lot busier than Friday night -- Minnesotans finally getting up the nerve to go to The Great Minnesota Get-(Back-)Together because of the Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO) -- and so I actually had to wait until a second bus came to bring us back.  It was packed.  And there were these two privileged outer-ring-suburb anti-masker pricks -- I'm guessing a mother and son -- who sat in front of me.  And since they were anti-maskers of course they were talking loudly and spewing their coronavirus-tainted breath the whole goddamn ride back to my car.  If I had a piece of cable wire, I would totally have had the fucking urge to strangle them both.  If you're not going to mask up, at least shut up.

But then I thought about all the other times I've been in social settings where the risk of getting coronavirus was just as high, if not higher.  I went to eat at Hooters, for example, and I was side-eyeing these four fat dudes who I think were conducting their fantasy football draft.  Sure, none of us were wearing masks because it's a, you know, restaurant (or "breastaurant").  But I didn't trust them that they were fully vaccinated.  And I still don't.  Meanwhile, on Thursday night, in the middle of the Gophers loss to Ohio St., I sat in the middle of an SUV with a guy who I have a strong belief is also an anti-vaxxer.  (I think he also believes in QAnon, but I say that only because I caught a passing glimpse of a text and my mind started to race; I don't really know.)  He may very well have given me the 'Rona, but I don't have the urge to strangle him to death because he was nice to me, and he helped me a lot when we were working.

When it comes to avoiding getting this virus, does it really matter if I have good feelings towards a fellow co-worker, or that I wanted to eat at a place where the waitresses flash their cleavage because it's a part of their uniform?  It really doesn't.  So instead of getting selectively pissed at strangers who do the same thing around me other strangers have, maybe I need to re-think going out.  If it's going to be hard for me to calm down when I see something that I'm afraid will give me corona, I should be more cognizant of all the situations in which I could get corona, not just the situations I don't like.

But still, those two assholes ... my fucking God.

I'm Walkin', Yes Indeed

I have sort of gotten obsessed with taking 10,000 steps.  Not that I endeavor to do so, but I always get a spring in my step whenever I somehow hit that mark.  Work doesn't get me those steps; neither does exercise.  So extraordinary circumstances have to happen in order for me to reach that milestone.  Mowing the lawn helps a lot, but otherwise I'd have to take a weekend afternoon and mill around, like, an outdoor shopping mall, George Floyd Square, the Mall of America, maybe the Sculpture Garden, you know what I mean.

So I want to note something that will probably never happen in my life ever again.  For the past week, ending yesterday/Sunday, I reached 10,000 steps each day.  It helps when the job you picked up for the week involves a lot of walking when you're working and a lot of milling about when you're not.  That's the thing about being a runner for a television production: There are bouts of frenzy when you're literally running around, but when there isn't, you're pacing a lot trying to relieve the boredom.  But a situation like that is never truly a waste; I got my steps in!

For the record, my high water mark was on Thursday, when I spent 14 hours getting stuff and then packing up around the Gophers Game, the latter half of it during a stinging downpour.  I got in 19,667 steps, according to my Health app.  I don't think I've ever walked that much in a day ever.

That strike day, by the way, spilled over into early Friday, so I got in, like, 3,000+ steps before I finally made it home.  That day I got my shoes shined, I bought a hamburger for a co-worker, I got tested for COVID and I worked out ... and it probably didn't matter because I think me walking around the State Fair would have been enough for me to reach 10k alone.

Saturday, it turns out, was the closest call.  I kind of thought that all the walking around downtown from one bar to another to make sure me and my friends were able to watch the game would have easily helped me reach 10k.  According to the app, it wasn't.  It took that laborious walk up and down Lyndale (with a pit stop to get ice cream at Crema Cafe/Sonny's) to reach that mark; I finished just under 12,000.  And finally, Sunday I went to the Fair, and that's how I got my 10,000 steps in yesterday.

Ten thousand steps hasn't even been proven to be the level at which you attain good health.  According to this article from the New York Times, the number 10,000 was a marketing gimmick by a Japanese company trying to cash in on the country's health craze in the wake of the 1964 Tokyo Olympics.  It manufactured a pedometer and gave it a name that, in Japanese pictographs, looked like a walking person and translated to "10,000 steps meter."  That number seems aspirational -- high enough to make you believe that if you reach it, you're getting healthy, and yet it seems obtainable if you try hard enough.  And so I think that's why it's stuck through now.

But what does the science say?  At least according to that piece, 7-8,000 steps is enough.  I have reached that ... a little more often, but probably not regularly, and maybe not even semi-regularly.

Oh, by the way, I decided I would stay in the whole day today 'cause it's Labor Day.  Do you know how many steps the Health app says I've taken today?  Eleven.  Yep-yep-yep, that streak's over.

But for the past week, I was walkin', yes indeed:

It's probably not a good idea to research your fantasy football draft the day of the draft, but that's my life in a nutshell right now.  I'm paying in $25 to do it, too.  But The Athletic is giving me this spreadsheet that is supposed to tell me which guys to draft based on our league's settings ... so I might be all good!

I understand it's a small quibble in the grand scheme of things, and it shouldn't mean that you don't use it at all.  But I don't like it when sunscreen stings your eyes.  I tried to avoid putting it around my eyes before going to the Gopher soccer Match this afternoon (they beat Wyoming, by the way, 4-0), even though that's not a reason not to lather sunscreen around that important part of your skin, and still, just now, my eyes began to water, probably because the sweat finally carried the sunscreen from my forehead into my eyes.  Ouch.  Not pleasant.

Is there good sunscreen that doesn't do that?

Shouldn't Moving Your Body Make You Feel Better?

I'm a hurtin' man right now.  Physically, although always mentally.

I think it started with working the Gophers Game.  I was alright when I started on Monday, and even Tuesday and Wednesday I was good, even though both were long days.  But then came the long day, and night, of Thursday, when we were striking and picking up everything and doing it all in the rain.  That, I think, is when my body started to ache.  Damn, you don't want to do anything out in the rain, I tell ya.

Then on Friday, which I took off (even though I told my parents I was working half a day to clean up the compound -- don't tell them that), I took in a quick trip to the gym to exercise.  And this time around I decided I was going to use the weight machine.  I remembered seeing, either on TV or a workout babe I befriended on Facebook, doing this exercise of squatting, pulling up on a handle, then slowly moving back down.  That seemed like a good exercise for my ... uh, legs or calves or ass or core.  Anyway, I thought it'd be a good idea to put in some strength training, and so I did twelve ... you call 'em "reps," I think?

Well, after I got done with the twelfth and final one, I staggered around a bit.  My legs hurt.  Now, I have seen that after these workout hotties put in a "session" on "Leg Day," they crow proudly that they hurt.  I don't get that; why would you be proud of being a hurting unit?  Moreover, my knees hurt.  And my hips hurt, too.  I don't think that's a good thing.

And they continued to hurt yesterday, when a sedate morning turned into a rollicking afternoon where I had to go downtown, pop in one restaurant to tell my alumni friends to go to another restaurant, walk to that restaurant, hope they had the TV on (they did), then feel guilty about all the food I ate, drove somewhere else, walked about 1 1/4, ate ice cream (I totally undermine myself), walk back to my car, go to Target to buy creamer, juice and conditioner, drive to work, leave the creamer at work (it was for work), poop at work, then finally drive home.

They say walks are good.  My parents have lately taken one in the morning and one after dinner.  I have seen more and more articles recently extoling the benefits of walking.  I should walk more.  But I realized a bit a little more than I chewed when walking the final few blocks down to Sonny's/Crema Cafe.  My legs and knees and hips were on fire, and I was asking myself, "How far is this place again?"  And I tried to cut down the walk back to my car below the 28 minutes Google Maps thought it'd take.  I may have gotten there in 26 or 27, but besides all the sightseeing I did that extended my time, the lower half of my body wouldn't allow me to walk faster than I did.

I just tried stretching, and I still hurt.  I think I actually slept for 11 hours (even though I woke up quickly to turn off the satellite radio to which I fell asleep listening to the BYU-Arizona Game), but none of that apparently "healed" me.  And I want to walk to both the Gopher soccer Match this afternoon and the State Fair tonight.  I'll need all that walking to burn all the calories for all the eating I'll be doing.  But shoot, will my body let me?

(slaps head)

Turns out that the place where I thought we'd watch the Game no longer carries the network that broadcasts the channel.  I'm glad I dove in there last night to make sure.  The bartender, God bless him, tried his best to hook up his own devices to the bar TV, but he didn't even realize he doesn't get the network.

So we are off to compromise and watch from a different place in downtown Minneapolis.  That means that I'll have to let everybody know, and coming this close to the Game, I don't know if people will get the venue change in time.

I should have done my due diligence.  Better to be blindsided now as opposed to tomorrow, but still.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Lynx (Last Week: 0).  Home victories over New York and Los Angeles -- the latter a come-from-behind affair where Minnesota allowed the Sparks to score only four Points in all of the Fourth Quarter -- extends the squad's winning streak to four Games and, more importantly, clinches a playoff spot for them for the 11th straight Year.  We are pretty much taking postseason appearances for granted.  Now, will they be able to do something once they get there.  I'm not sure, which is why I am tempering the team's place here by putting them at 0.

Next week they finish up four-Game homestand versus Washington on Saturday, then travel to Las Vegas on Wednesday.

#-1: United FC (Last Week: -2).  Adrien Hunou finally made himself known to Loons fans by bracing at Houston.  MNUFC won Saturday night for their first win at the Dynamo's stadium ever.  However, they remain in fifth in the Western Conference.  Still no sign of Robin Lod nor six other players on the senior squad.

They're off till the 11th.

#-2: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -1).  OK, through four Matches the XI have scored only two Goals.  But they're also undefeated after Thursday afternoon's scoreless draw against Mississippi St.  Wyoming comes to town Sunday afternoon, and then the club travels to Nebraska-Omaha for a Game Thursday.

#-3: Twins (Last Week: -3).  Took two-of-three at home vs. the best team in the National League Central, The Bastard Seattle Pilots, then flew to Detroit to play, and win, a make-up date over the Tigers, then came back to drop both Games of a two-fer against the Cubs.  Well, when you're calling up young Pitchers to see if they have a chance to stick in The Big Show, this is what's going to happen.

On the road this screening Week: Three contests against the Bay Rays, then four tilts with The Cleveland Proto-Guardians.

#-4: Gopher volleyball (Re-Entry!).  This is a bad portent.  They dropped a four-Setter against a team ranked below them, Baylor.  They then swept TCU in the other Game they had in the Big Ten/Big 12 Challenge in Madison over the weekend.  They came home and played a huge contest against the top-ranked team in the nation, Texas, Wednesday night -- and they lost in four.  I appreciate Hugh McCutcheon continuing to play and bring home the best teams in top-flight volleyball.  However, they're establishing a pattern of not being that good against the truly great programs in the country right now.  Not good, especially since they're travelling to Gainesville, Fla. to play fifth-ranked Florida Sunday afternoon.

#-5: Gopher football (Re-Entry!).  I was working the Game, even though I didn't see it in person.  They made a Game of it against Ohio St., which is much more than many of us could ask for.  In fact, halfway through the Third Quarter, they were leading the fourth-ranked Buckeyes, 21-17.  But Ohio St. pulled off a long Touchdown Pass, then the Buckeye Defensive Line strip-sacked Tanner Morgan, which led to a scoop-and-score, and TD Passes of, ugh, 70 and 61 Yards iced the 45-31 defeat.  Worse than that: Mohamed Ibrahim, who ran for 164 Yards and scored twice -- and made Ohio St. worry about him whenever he was on the field -- left the Game for an injury that many feared would end his Year here.  We shall see, but Ibrahim would be a huge loss for this program.

Back at it 9/11 as they host Miami of Ohio.