Staying In, And Trying To Do Work, For Halloween

I can't go out today.  I want to, really do.  I don't celebrate Halloween by dressing up, so I usually make sure I clear out of the house so I don't hear any awkward doorbell rings from trick-or-treaters.  I then would go down to Hooters to see the waitresses dressed up (usually like babes), then go to a stripclub, or two.  Often I have gone to My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Version), but I won't this year because of the pandemic.  I have also gone to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition), sometimes after going to My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Division), but they're closed for good now, so I can't do that this year or any year from now on.

So I am planning on staying at home.  I am keeping to my bedroom as much as possible.  I might open up my window, maybe not.  Come dusk, I will keep the lighting to a minimum to ward off trick-or-treaters and watch sport and/or Saturday Night Live and/or It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, which, for the first time ever, will not be broadcast on free TV.  (Instead it'll be on Apple TV -- egads!)

That is, if I am man enough to do the three big things I need to do today, which are:

1. Help my sister edit another paper of hers.  It's dense with words she insists are real and need to be kept in the paper.  I just read the first page and my head already hurts.  Oh, and she wants this back today.
2. It's high time I e-mail all the members of my ex-club about my plans not to organize Game-watching parties.  They start next week, and since it is college football Saturday, it makes sense to do it now.  Hell, it's already too late.
3. Oh, and I need to blog today.  At least I can knock this off the list.

I was thinking today would be less work and more relaxing.  It's not.

On A Mask-Buying And -Collecting Jag

It might be because today is a "buying day."  Due to circumstances (in this case I had the day off), I am spending money, and as such, I seem to buy (or donate to political campaigns; more on that in a future blog post) so much I might subconsciously be trying to make up for being a good boy by not buying stuff the other days of the week.  For today, at least, I had so many things I had to do for which I needed to spend money (get my physical at the doctor's, get my shoes shined, get my hair cut) that anything I wanted to purchase (or to donate to) I have to do today.

That includes buying masks.  I still am using the masks Mother made for me.  But with new, improving guidelines recommending a third, replaceable filter/layer inside masks, I have begun to think it would be better for me to buy masks that have a pocket into which I can put these filters, about 20 of which I purchased and (after some delay) received from Amazon a few weeks ago.  (Mother has promised she would make such masks for me; I would like that.)

So after a lot of daydreaming, I have finally put my plans into action.  For one thing, last week I bought a Minnesota North Stars mask through Etsy from someone who lives in Hutchinson, Minn.  I also plan on buying a mask branded with my alma mater, though I have yet to do it.  And on top of that, I am trying to design my own mask through Vistaprint, a business that specialized in, like, business cards and printing brochures but pivoted to creating masks and, so long as the world needs to wear masks, business for the company is booming.

I got this idea of a mask that is black except for one tear of blood underneath a corner of one of my eyes.  I think that image might be a gang thing, so I am kind of scared that I might get weird looks or even get jumped.  But I think it'll look cool.  Anyway, Vistaprint allows someone to upload an image (I uploaded a rights-free one from Shutterstock after I signed up on its website), and then you can see a 360-degree rendering of a mask with that image in any number of places -- right in the middle, to the left or right, or even a pattern all over the mask.  The tear of blood didn't seem to line up right under the corner of where my eye would be according to the renderings, so there is a feature whereby I can ask a Vistaprint designer to do a more detailed design and e-mail me back.  If someone could do that for me and the cost of the mask would still be what it would be if I just slapped an image on one and ordered that without asking for human help ($18 plus, I assume, shipping and handling fees), yes, I will get a mask of that, too.

And on top of that I have been collecting free masks.  I signed up for a T-Mobile-adjacent application called T-Mobile Tuesdays, where T-Mobile offers up these offers for other companies, but only on Tuesdays.  One recurring one is 10 cents off per gallon at a Shell station, for example.  Well, a couple months ago one such offer was a mask.  You just go into a T-Mobile store and ask for one.  (I tried to do the same thing today for a free keychain flashlight, but that offer ended Wednesday night.)  And that's what I did ... after which I changed my cellular plan to a cheaper one.  The T-Mobile-branded mask has a pocket, but like the Etsy/North Stars one, the pocket doesn't allow me to just slide the filter, which is oddly shaped, through the hole because it's too small.  I can't see how someone can't just make a mask with a hole big enough to slide in a filter.

Anyway, I got that, and I'll use that after, according to the washing suggestion, I find the time to wash it before I use it.  Also, today, my parents were sent through the mail masks -- and they each got two!! -- from their health insurance company.  Mother gave me one of hers.  She told me to put it in the car in case of emergency, but I already have in my glove compartment two masks Mother made for me (she made me four, and I rotate the ones in my car with two I keep in my bathroom after I get done washing them).  Also in my glove compartment: A mask my company sent to me through the mail.  So now I have four masks in my car.  (By the way, both the mask my parents' health insurance company gave them and the one my company sent me do not have filter pockets.)  And I don't need to use any of them during the week because at work, I get to use a surgical, disposable one provided by the company!

So ... one-two-three masks I have or will buy, plus another two I have gotten for free, all of which to go along with the four Mother made for me.  Wow -- I will probably wind up with nine masks.  And to think at the beginning of the year, none of us in the country even had a thought we would ever have to deal with a mask.  Heh -- life is weird.

RIP, City Pages

I peeped the news at work Wednesday.  After 41 years, City Pages, the Twin Cities' longest-running alternative weekly, shut down.  I was planning on going out after work that day, and I was lucky I was downtown so I could come across copies of the alt-weekly.  I picked up two at the bar where we usually watch our games, for posterity.

And I can add that to the piles, and heaps, and mounds of old City Pages copies I have and have yet to read in my storage unit.  That publication, probably more than any other, is what I have, and have to go through.  And ironically, now that the CP has closed down, I now feel as though I need to keep every single one of those copies.

There are now no good sources of free journalism in the area.  The neighborhood shopper, I'm afraid, isn't adequate.  I was able to grab a coffee, sit down, and for an hour (at least) go through CP and read the big, exciting, frequently- profane story they publish for that week.  Some of them were political, some slice-of-life, some weird, and many I don't read, but every single one a piece of the local journalism puzzle that felt as though the major newspapers and television stations did not and/or are not able to cover.  Oh yes, I liked the culture listings every week.  And oh yeah, I will definitely miss their annual Best Of issue.  I will miss all of it.  And this death (the pandemic shut down entertainment venues, which appear to be a huge chunk of the advertising revenue in the weekly) blows a mighty hole in local journalism.

I'm sad.  But (and permit me to be macabre) at least I won't add more copies of City Pages to my unit.

This. Is. The. Spike. Am I Part Of It?

As predicted by many, the onset of cold weather is resulting in a rapid rise of COVID-19 cases ... and, eventually, hospitalizations and, gulp, deaths.  Washington state and New York City got hit first, then the South got socked over the summer, and now it's the Midwest's turn.  We were all going to get it, but I was just hoping that we would be smart enough to avoid increasing the cases of coronavirus, or even, by some miracle, dodge this "third wave" with a vaccine that would be ready by now.  Oh, by the way, I know the statistics have both Dakotas and Wisconsin appreciably worse than Minnesota (with Iowa sort of inbetween).  If we are doing better, it is relatively better -- maybe even cosmetically so.

I am started to be terrified about getting this virus again.  I have relaxed (or have become fatigued) dealing with this in the months since the pandemic began.  But now that I know the state is seeing a record number of cases and it shows no sign of abating, plus seeing as how the winter will drive us indoors where the 'Rona thrives, I feel it in the air again.  And even though I am going out a bit more often than at the onset of the lockdown, I'm really scared that this thing is going to get me.

Shit, man, what I have done just this week is giving me pause.  For example, last night I went to my ex-alumni club's bar to break the news I will not be hosting watch parties there because of the pandemic.  I ate inside.  It was only an hour, and the closest person eating near me was at least a dozen feet away and didn't say anything.  But after I left I felt a burning sensation in my throat, as if the virus has just infiltrated my respiratory system and I am feeling the start of COVID.  Hell, I went back to work tonight just so I could eat the hard-boiled eggs Father made for me this morning, and I did not put back on my mask when I was doomscrolling on my phone.  And I got that burning feeling in my throat again.

For all I know, I have it now.  I've been tested ... seven times (seven antigen, one antibody), the last time a few weeks ago the morning of the Vikings Game against Atlanta.  I need to get tested again.  I actually have the day off tomorrow, so maybe I'll have time to go to a clinic.  But if I got it this week, I might be getting tested too soon to see if I got infected.  Can you believe that -- I have to wait in order to possibly test positive for a virus that could kill me or people I love.

It's coming, man.  It's coming for all of us.

Wipeout Night

So, after a night out centered around 1) getting that free Nachos Doritos Taco from Taco Bell (it's a baseball thing) and 2) breaking the news to the bar where we see our Games that I am not organizing anything this year, at least in a formal way (with some other stuff I did thrown in), I got home around 8 o'clock.  Wanted to decompress.  Listened to the rest of the Loons Match on the radio (glad they won, even if it is by an Own Goal late in the Match).  Thought The Amazing Race was on but was too lazy to turn on the TV, and then when I did I saw Big Brother was on, ick.

And then I felt really tired and I went to bed.  And then I woke up, just for a moment, around 2:30, and I was able to go back to sleep till around 5:45.  So I slept for 8 1/2, maybe 8:45 tonight.  And I feel really refreshed, at least for right now.

Around this time every year I seem to have one night where I go to bed super early and stay asleep the whole night.  It is a way, I think, for my body to adjust to the oncoming winter.  So, I think I can consider myself adjusted!

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: United FC (Last Week: -1).  A very important three Points picked up by the Loons Saturday night in Cincinnati against an organization that, it needs to be said, is two Years into its life in Major League Soccer and is completely lost.  FC Cincinnati is dead last in the league, and I think they were last Year, too.  As shitty as MNUFC was in its second Year, they have never been worst in MLS, and by the time they moved into Allianz Field (which was last Year), they forged an identity and immediately turned things around.  FC Cincinnati appears to have great and genuine grassroots support, so it's sad that they are rooting for a franchise that seems to have no ideas on how to get even marginally better.

But I digress.  The Loons had 18 Shots to FCC's 12, and on the radio it sounded like they were peppering Goalkeeper Spencer Richey at will.  And yet they weren't getting the ball into the net.  I was happy with the team at least getting in position to score, even though it was frustrating that they didn't score ... until, finally, in the 92nd Minute, when off a Corner Kick that FC Cincinnati did not think should have been rewarded, a scramble ensued and, of all people, Aaron Schoenfeld scored his (I think) first-ever Goal with the team.

That vaults, for now, MNUFC into fourth in the West with only two Weeks and four Games left.  By no means has the squad locked up a playoff spot, but like I said last Week, this was a prime opportunity to get three Points and stay apace in the race.

The club hosts Colorado (which, because of an outbreak of COVID-19 infecting the entire organization postponing Matches, it currently has played as many as seven fewer Matches than other teams and will not be able to make them all up.  The Rapids will finish this unprecedented regular season playing only 18 Games; Minnesota has already played 18 regular season Games) tonight/Wednesday night.  Striker Kei Kamara will not play in this Match -- not because of injury, but because when he was traded from the Rapids, there was a, ahem, "gentleman's agreement" where Kamara would not play this regular season Game against his former team.  Never seen that before.  On Sunday they play their final road Game, vs. Sporting Kansas City.

#-2: Gopher football (Re-Entry!).  I really had high hopes for the Minnesota Golden Gopher football team.  They were coming off what was their best season in my lifetime and things were lined up for even better things this Year.  (Well, a Year that would not have started until next Year; I still think it's fucked up that they are having a season at all.  The Big Ten did the right thing in postponing all sports until after the New Year, but a thirst for money and pressure from Republican anti-masker dumbasses made them change their minds, so last weekend they began play right in the middle of a surge in coronavirus cases all through B1G Country.  We're such a stupid, selfish country.)  Rashod Bateman, who said he was leaving the club to prepare for the NFL Draft, changed his mind once the conference changed its mind, health and safety be damned.  And they were playing a Michigan program that, under Head Coach Jim Harbaugh, has continually underachieved.

The Game Saturday night, the marquee matchup according to ESPN, started out great: A Wolverine drive ended with a blocked Punt that wound up at the Michigan 17, and then it took only two plays to hit paydirt.  The Wolverines scored to tie it up at 7 and then the U. had a three-and-out, but then Michigan missed a Field Goal.  On the first play of the ensuing drive, however, Gopher Donovan Jeter fumbled the ball and the Wolverines scoop-and-scored -- and they never looked back.  The U. was down 35-17 at Halftime, and despite an 11-Play drive that ended with a Touchdown to begin the Second Half, they couldn't muster up any more Points and lost, badly, 49-24.

Now, it was just one Game ... although there are only nine this season.  They are still undefeated (at 0-0) in the B1G West Division.  And they play bottom-dweller Maryland Friday night, although that Game is at College Park.  But to show that this program can sustain itself, at the very least the team needed to put up a better effort than the one they showed at Das Bank v.1.0. Saturday night.  The sky isn't falling.  But the gulf between Minnesota and the group of big-time college football programs was both clear and wide in that humbling contest.

To Be The Cover Man At Work ... Maybe

More changes at work.  The person who has the weird "wraparound" schedule where she works Saturday through Tuesday told me yesterday that she's leaving the job in a few weeks.  Welp, that means that, until my boss can find someone else, he will need people to cover, more than the others (and in fact I don't think he'll need anyone for the other days), Sunday.  She was there, I think, for 10 hours each of the four days.  As a Monday-to-Friday person, whenever I filled in on Sundays (like I did this past Sunday, for example), I needed to fill in just for four.

That probable need to fill in cuts both ways.  On the one hand, I have always felt like working there Sundays isn't work at all.  There's no one there besides me -- no boss (usually; a couple times I've seen him there), no co-workers, no one.  All the work that needs to be done can be done by one person, and unless the software or the scanners jam, it's a breeze.  (If they do jam, it's a pain-in-the-ass, because I then will need to get ahold of my boss, who is, well, off the clock, I presume.)  And like filing second shift, I have the run of the place.  Well, sort of; my main department is in a hallway, so even though there are people traipsing through the whole four hours I'm there, I still act like it's my own office.  I crank the radio on to listen to football, and I take my sweet time walking over to it to change the station broadcasting another football Game when that station is on a commercial break.  I probably could be more productive, but if there is no one around to critique your work, why pop a blood vessel to prove you're working?  Oh, one other thing: I have a bunch of paid time off that I thought I needed to use, but turns out I didn't.  Well, if I come in on a Sunday, that's so many hours I'll get back in paid time off that I didn't take time off.  Might as well save it for 2021.

On the other hand, I am running into the same situation I did this time last year, in which there was no one to work Sundays and I was asked to substitute right in the middle of football season.  I had to miss a couple of Game-watching parties, but all the Vikes Games I could have worked I did, so someone else had to come in to work on Sundays and work those four hours.  Things are a little bit different on that front this year.  I don't plan on hosting Game watches this year (should talk more about that) so my Saturdays should be free.  Also, and I think I've said this before, the pandemic has led the sports networks not to hire as many locals for Games.  I missed out on the Packers Game (even though I had a chance the Friday before to get on board if I had jumped on the call and text quicker), and I am slated to miss three others.  But I much rather work at U. S. Bank Stadium on Sundays than at work, easy environment at work excepted, and so I still might beg out of filling in on the infinitesimal chance I get called to run for Vikes Games.  And if I don't get called in, well ... I miss out on work.  I sent an e-mail to the crewers for the network to ask if she can give me some advanced insight into whether there's any chance I could work those three Games.  Couldn't hurt to plan ahead of I can.

I think I've filled in enough times in enough places to prove that I am a "company man," so not working on some Sundays shouldn't shoot my reputation to pieces.  Hell, I have Friday off and because the second shift Filing person is taking that day off too, I think I am going to send an e-mail to my boss and offer to work, like, five hours that evening.  I don't think I can even do that, but I'll try.  But I see downsides to both saying I can and I can't cover where and when necessary.

Political Junk E-Mail

Nowadays I average over 100 e-mails in the inbox of the e-mail account I use most often.  The vast majority of them are political ads asking for money.

I am like most other people just praying this fucking election will be done with.  (Want my side to win, of course, that's more important than anything else.)  But notably I will be so, so happy once the fundraising appeals die down and I get, like, 20% of the messages I am getting now.  Well, until the mid-elections start to come around in, like, a year.

I want to say that even though this may have been going on all my life, I have noticed lately that whenever I get tired, I get hard.  It's like my body is telling me to go sleep, and the way it's telling me is to take all the blood from my brain and shoot it down to my dick.  I kind of feel really sleepy, and erect, right now.  Is this natural, or is it just me?

We're With Stupid

I may have spoken about this before, but with Election Day coming up in ... wow, nine days, I'm going to reiterate my stance that the evil is not just in the White House, nor is it just in the Republican Party.  The perpetuation of the evil and the rottenness in this country is held by a lot of Americans, too.

This was triggered on my way home from work on Friday.  I listened to National Public Radio.  They were doing a story about revisiting people they met in Pueblo, Colo.  News organizations do these types of "continuation" stories where they talk to people they met months or even years ago.  They do this when checking back on disasters, and they also do this when talking to voters.  These voters are Latinx who NPR met either a couple years ago seeing what the Trump economy is doing to the local economy or around the last presidential election.  Of the three NPR revisited, two of them voted for Trump.

Those two who voted for Trump planned on voting for Trump again.  When talking about the pandemic, one of those voters said something to the effect of, "Trump did as good as he could."

Bullshit.  Fucking bullshit.  He could have taken the pandemic operations manual Barack Obama gave him and used it.  He could exercise his powers and invoke the National Emergencies Act and force companies to make masks, ventilators, testing supplies and Personal Protective Equipment (PPE).  He could impose a national mask mandate.  He could lobby for and sign bills giving more money to people who have lost their jobs, and to small business that are being hit hard by the economic effects of the pandemic.  At the very least he could not go fucking golfing every goddamn weekend.

But nope, this guy thinks he "did as good as he could."  This bigotry of low expectations is fast becoming a hallmark of lazy Republican governing.  But what really bugs me about this statement is that this dumbass doesn't know the facts.  He isn't thinking.  He really is just vomiting up talking points spewed by Fux News Channel and Republican radio.  If he actually sought out the news, if he actually thought for himself, he would know that Trump can do a hell of a lot more than he's doing now, and that a combination of hatred and incompetence is behind why he isn't doing more.

This is lizard brain thinking that I know a lot of voters, a lot of Americans, believe.  And they are going to vote for him and Republicans -- in droves, if they haven't done so already.  I shudder to think that the gut punch we got in 2016 is going to happen in 2020.  With the way people on the correct side are afraid that our hearts will get ripped out of our chests once again (and I might be stepping out on a ledge here, but I think it's accurate), right now it feels as though we are gaslighting ourselves.  Never forget that Hilary Clinton should be president right now but wasn't due to a toxic brew of illegal Russian interference and voter suppression.  I think we've wised up to the extent Republicans are willing to ratfuck this election.  But there are people who haven't, and in fact have drunk the Kool-Aid and want Republicans to suppress votes and welcome Russian interference just so they can win elections.

Which leads me to a statement that really grinds my gears -- not to the extent of the "Trump did as good as he could" dumbass.  It is an utterance made by the third person in this story, the only one who did not vote for Trump then and won't now.  That's fantastic; he is smart and he knows what reality looks like.  However, to the two Republican zombies who support Trump through his "efforts" in fighting the disease, he said, "I don't see it that way."  No, sir, sorry.  We are beyond pleasantries.  We cannot politely disagree now -- not at this perilous state, not where American democracy is hurtling toward the event horizon.  We need to shout back at these stupid people.  We need to call these people stupid.  They are not innocents.  They are voters, and they will vote to keep in power an authoritarian who we, on the correct side, know will plunder the national coffers for his financial gain, rubber-stamp any Republican policy that oppresses women and people of color, and will allow this country to go to shit because he doesn't give a fuck about this country.

Republican voters are dangerous people.  They need to be beaten back in the polls, and then they need to be dealt with after Election Day -- in government meetings, state Capitols, and on the streets if need be.  There truly are Enemies Among Us, and I hope we will seize and use power to defeat Trump, Republicans, and the stupid people who want to plunge this country into darkness and hate.

Hmmm, Pears ...

So I spoke about all the free food that I got from work.  (By the way, I haven't seen any of said free food dropped off in the past couple weeks.)  One of them was a small pear cup.  It was swimming in pear water (which, according to the ingredients, actually is water and white grape juice concentrate).  I took it (amongst other things) because you don't want fruit to just sit out in room temperature ... right?

That was at least a few weeks ago.  I had sort-of forgotten I took it and took it home.  But I've done that with all the other free food I took home from work.  Finally, some time earlier this week I was wondering where all my free food went; as Mother went by the refrigerator, she pointed out that all of that free food (protein bars, applesauce and animal crackers as well as that pear cup) Father put into a plastic bag.  Well, last night (Friday night/Saturday morning) I remembered that the pear cup was spoiling, and since I have nowhere to go tomorrow and I was hungry, I decided to eat the pear cup (as well as a protein bar, the latter of which I decided to wash down with milk I poured half-full into my coffee cup).

It's been some time since I ate pears, and mmmmmmm, boy, do I miss them.  I liked how the cut-piece form of pears, soaked in juice, was soft to bite into but still had a distinctive, uh, bite to it.  It may be the white grape juice concentrate (which, by the way, I drank after I finished all the pears, and that tasted suh-weet!), but there is something about pears, and eating pears, that I sort-of, well, fell back in love with.

I inevitably compare apples to pears, which might be like comparing apples and oranges (see what I did there?), and eating that pear cup awakened past memories.  I preferred, and probably still prefer, pears to apples.  For one thing, I do not ever remember getting citric allergies when eating pears, whereby my lips swelled up.  Man, I remember the first time my lips did that when I was a kid after I was given an apple to eat and I lost my damn mind.  From that point on, when my parents handed me an apple and told me to eat it, I rebelled because the apple was, well, hurting me and doing things to my body I didn't understand.  The pear didn't do that.  Also, I love the taste of pears.  There is a tartness to apples that is dialed down in pears.  It was ... milder, modest, more humble.

It is weird to not think of something you like, and then have the memories of why you like that rushing back to you so fast and so intensely that you are ready to tell the world you believe it, like it's a moral value to you.  But I love pears, dammit!  And I don't know why I haven't eaten pears in so long ... while I eat the occasional apple (and by the way, it looks as if the citric allergies are gone, like it was a childhood thing).  I should eat more pears.  Why can't I eat more pears?

Me, The Forgetful Fantasy Football Player

Not only am I in fantasy football, I also do some other fantasy football-related games.  I do some pick 'ems, where you pick the winner of every single NFL Game (no spread and no money).  I also am in a couple of Eliminators, also known as suicide pools, where every week you need to select a team that will win, and where you can only use a team once.  I am in three such Eliminator pools, one just for fun and the other two usually for money.

The two for money is part of a fantasy football website that also incorporates a pick 'em.  I got hip to it from someone at an alumni club football-watching party.  It's run by a friend of his son.  He says this website, where people pay in a fee of $25 to play these competitions, got to be so popular (and, I'm guessing, lucrative) that he quit his job and is working this website full-time.  Nice work if you can get it.

So partly because a fellow alumnus asked me to check it out and party because I am a degenerate gambling, I signed up.  This was at least three years ago.  I have signed up for these competitions ever since, even though I have not come close to winning.  It does not help that, from time to time and despite e-mail reminders, I have forgotten to chose my picks, either in the suicide pools or the pick 'em.  And on this website, if you do not choose a team in the Eliminator, you automatically lose.

That's what happened this week.  I was watching the Giants-Eagles Game while scrolling through my e-mail.  I received a reminder from this website saying I had yet to choose my team in the "Second Chance" suicide pool.  I thought I had already done that.  But then I slapped my head, uttered, "Fuck," and realized I had probably gone through all my picks for the pick 'em game without going to the suicide pool and making my selection.  Fucking Christ.

This is not the first time I have bowed out of this website's games because I forgot to select.  But as bummed as I am now, at least I didn't spend $25 this year.  I did so the previous years, and I know that I have missed picking in one of the three competitions at least once every year.  I don't remember being so furious at myself as I am now.  Maybe I should be, because I had been throwing away $25 a year for at least the past three.

Why have I not cared?  Sure, it's only $25, but it's also money.  I could use that for something else, or at least give a full-hearted effort to remember to make picks every single darn week.  Sometimes I don't understand why I am the way I am.

Addendum To: So, How Do I React To This?

I don't think I followed up with on my blog post about getting this condescending e-mail about my work and talking myself down from going all apeshit on it.  Well, as soon as I got into work the next day I went up to my supervisor, the person who sent me that e-mail, and like I said on my reply to her, I wanted to know what exactly she saw on this queue that led her to believe that I needed to do them.  I really, really wanted her to recreate the queue, even though she took care of both items, because (and I don't say this with any pride) I don't remember if I actually saw those items or, if I read her correctly, I really did not check before I left for the day.

In this software there is a title line for each of these, um, cases.  When my supervisor either re-created the queue or at least found the cases she did instead, I looked at the title lines.  I did not have a "Eureka!" moment, but from the words I saw, I think I in fact did see them, which meant I did check the queue.  My supervisor said I was not trained to do one of the things.  The other I could have done; the title line for that case said that an affidavit for information I myself asked for from the person who collected this urine sample came in.  However, the information did not get back to The Third Department, aka the department I was working in.  Rather, the collector sent the missing information to the client liaison for my company who handles that collector/account, who in turn passed it along to The Third Department via the queue on this software.  What I was supposed to do, according to my supervisor, was open up the case, save the copy of the affidavit that was attached on this software, and appropriately process the application for this urine sample because all the information that needed to be collected had now been collected.  To repeat: This was information I sought.  However, that information wasn't given back directly to me.

In retrospect, I think I was trained on the possibility that could have happened, but it was very brief and so long ago.  My supervisor had to tell/remind me that affidavits can come back to us this way, and so we are expected to process information we receive indirectly.  I told her that even though I may have been told this, it's been a long time.  So when I saw that title line of this case, I didn't see any words for which I immediately figured out I could do it, and therefore I left that, as well as the other case, alone on the queue.  My ignorance was my defense.  And better to leave something than to do something wrong.

I think my supervisor accepted my excuse.  She told me to look out for things like that from now on, and I could use more training on the fringe, uncommon things that could occur in The Third Department.  And that was it.  And she seemed more chill than upset.

I'll take it.

You know, when I say that I'm going to take a shower within earshot of both of my parents, and I go into the bathroom, and I open up the water (a distinct sound that cannot be confused for anything else), one would think that means that I'm taking a shower.  That should also mean that maybe two people can't take a shower.  Our house is such that if that were to happen, the shower closer to the main water source -- the one downstairs, the master bathroom, the one my parents use -- gets all the hot water.  This happened when I was a kid; I think my parents took a shower when I did, and all I got was cold water.  I was so demoralized I cried a ton afterwards, shivering from the cold that I didn't expect nor deserve.

Anyway, when the water got colder through my shower, I knew that someone was using it downstairs.  And sure enough, once I shut off my water, I could hear the unique sound of water running through the pipes through the floor.  They (and from the shuffling of feet down the stairs as I was toweling off, I think it was Father taking the shower) damn well know better, especially since I fucking told them.  Shit.  I might as not take a shower at all.  That suits me during the winter just fine.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Before I begin, I want to note how short the survey is.  I only have two teams, United FC and the Vikings.  It's mid-to-late October, a time when the sports calendar is chock full.  In a usual mid-to-late October, along with the two above clubs, the Wild would have started their season and, more importantly, there'd be a ton of sports at the U. -- football, volleyball, and women's soccer.  And November would be around the corner, and with it would come the Timberwolves and Gopher basketball and hockey, men's and women's.  We would just be ramping up into what is one of the two busiest seasons in the Twin Cities sports calendar (March and April being the other time frame).

Of course, this is not a typical year.  In fact, with only just two squads, we have been, for this past Week, in a part of the calendar that is as fallow as it can get -- well, save for the nine Weeks when there were no sports.  Now, things will ramp up as of this weekend with the return of the University of Minnesota football team returning to action, and Gopher men's basketball presumably will come next month.  But if toxic men have decided that no killer virus will stop them from the sports entertainment we all will enjoy, well, I want to enjoy the relative peace I have had these past several Weeks.  It usually takes me more than an hour to do a WMNSS this time of the year.  This should be less than that.  And I will miss not needing to slave over writing about a dozen teams.

---

#-1: United FC (Last Week: -1).  The National Hockey League used to allow regular-season Games to end in a Tie.  It didn't start out that way.  At the league's beginning (I think), there was a 10-Minute Overtime period to decide Games.  But starting in the middle of the 1942 season (because of rationing for World War II), there was no Overtime; Games that ended after 60 Minutes of regulation play just ended with a Tie.  That actually lasted until the 1983-4 season, when the NHL built in a five-Minutes OT period where, after that stint ended, then Games ended in a Tie.  (The North Stars were involved in one of two Games where this new format was used, on October 5 of '83.)  That worked just fine until the 2005-6 season, the Year after an entire season was wiped out because of a lockout.  After that five-Minute OT, there would be a Shootout where, eventually, there would be a winner.

Frankly, I miss Ties.  I mean, what's wrong with Ties?  Does there have to be a winner and a loser after every Game?  Why is there a compulsion to find a result where one team has "more" than the other?  Frankly, I think it's kind of sad and psychopathic.

Now, I could be saying this because I'm getting into soccer more and more.  Also, I could be saying this because the two clubs in this week's survey spit the bit in their own ways and I'm trying to justify why I've got the Loons first.  So, I refer to the result of their only Match this screening week, a 2-all Tie (or Draw) at The Nest versus Houston.  See, MNUFC had a 2-0 lead at Halftime courtesy of a brace by Ethan Findlay.  The XI then, naturally, coughed it up in the Second Half and was hanging on for dear life at the end.  They were lucky to get a Point out of that Game even though they were lined up to get three.  And they are still in the thick of the Western Conference playoff race in fifth, but they blew a great chance to improve their standing.

You know what?  I might have to change my mind about Ties.  Don't know if any of you remember the beginnings of Major League Soccer, but Matches back then didn't end after 90 Minutes.  No -- because bigwigs thought Americans needed a winner, MLS Games ended with a Shootout of their own.  That format ended after the 1999 season.  But I can justify having a Shootout in soccer and not in hockey because not only does there seem to have many more Ties in soccer, but there are way fewer Goals in soccer, and so artificially pumping in Goals in a contrived, non-FIFA-sanctioned way isn't the worst thing in the world.

At Cincinnati Saturday.  If there is any Match the rest of the regular season in which this team can win and take three Points, it's this one.

#-2: Vikings (Last Week: -2).  Things are different with production this season.  Because of COVID, I am not allowed in the truck nor on the field.  I had to spend my day just outside the truck.  And because (and I'm guessing here) they didn't want to get me in situations where I would be close to people for prolonged periods of time, besides helping another runner put some tables and chairs away, I did absolutely nothing while I was working the Game.  Actually, for the Game, I discovered I could watch it in on my phone through the Yahoo! Sports application.

Seeing as they got crushed, at home, to a winless Atlanta Falcons squad that had fired its Head Coach and General Manager the previous weekend, that was a good thing.

Maybe it's the weather, but I wasn't upset about the loss.  I had a bad feeling that the ViQueens were susceptible to losing to a team that had received a jolt of a double firing and may have been motivated to work for an interim Head Coach.  And, well, seeing that on the first offensively play of the Game, Kirk Cousins threw the first of three First Half Interceptions, I kind of felt the loss coming.  Actually, I was way more upset over the Vikes' loss to Seattle the week before; they were leading that Game and they blew it.  This one, even against an 0-5 team, they weren't in it, and so I didn't feel anything was lost or squandered.

By the way, I felt as though the entire season went to shit after the Week 3 loss (at home) to The Bastard Houston Oilers.  In fact, I thought the Vikings would go 5-11, and even that prediction looks too optimistic right now.  I didn't think, however, that either HC Mike Zimmer or GM Rick Spielman were in danger of losing their jobs.  They did win a playoff Game (in an upset, no less) last year, they were in salary cap hell and shed a lot of players, they are relying on a bunch of rookies to learn fast, especially those in the Secondary, and they had their big acquisition who was signed to stop interior rushing, Michael Pierce, due to the pandemic.  Oh, and ... there's the pandemic, which has fucked everything up.  The real world feels like reason enough to give everybody a mulligan, including NFL Head Coaches and General Managers.

But then I remembered a few things.  One, this is the NFL, and there is no mercy because of a once-a-century pandemic.  Two, people and, presumably, Zimmer and Spielman themselves said they were going to contend for a playoff spot.  They themselves set expectations which they are miserably falling short on.  (If they were honest and said this is a rebuilding Year, I think they would get cut some slack.  Shit, for all we know, that's what Zimmer and Spielman told the Wilfs in private.  Both of them did receive extensions, after all.)  And even though I don't really like firing people after a playoff run, the Wilfs fired both Leslie Frazier and Brad Childress the Year after making the playoffs, the latter the Year after he got the Vikings to the NFC Championship Game.

So no, there is no respite from the Wilfs.  Which means, yeah, there has to be some extraordinary improvement or else both of them are gone.  Yikes.

Hey, at least they can't lose this screening week.  Minnesota's on a bye.

Fuck You, Kenyan Drake

Right now I'm doing terribly in both of my fantasy football teams.  One win apiece going into this week.  But by some miracle, I was leading in both of my Games coming into yesterday's Monday doubleheader.

I finished the night, and the Week, winning in one.  But I was holding on for dear fucking life in the other ... until Kenyan Fucking Drake ripped off a goddamn 69-Yard-Touchdown run late in the Game to finish off the Dallas Cowboys.  I had five players and the Miami Defense hauling in double digits, including Kyler Murray and Justin Jefferson hauling in 30 Points each, and because of that last fucking gasp, I lose by five Points.  Shit, man, Drake wasn't even supposed to be on the field because Chase Edmonds is supposed to be the featured Bastard Chicago-By-Way-Of-St. Louis Cardinals Running Back because I have Chase Edmonds on my other fucking fantasy team!!!

So fuck you for making my season as bad as the Vikings', Kenyan Drake!

A Bad Day, Although It Was Not A Bad Day At Work

This was not a good day; ironically, however, my day at work was really good.  No supervisor or boss breathing down my neck, no big issues I had to deal with, no mistakes I made (at least not that I know of), that dude in Filing not being a dick.  (Well, I have this cart I was working off of all day, and a few times he needed to grab a form from it, and moved the cart towards him but didn't push it back towards me once he was done.  That's an inconsiderate microaggression, but all day, a few people did the same thing.  Eh, ain't no big deal.)  But things I saw during and happened around work brought me down, and really, the next few days are going to be bummers.

What do I mean?

• So I was supposed to talk to this recruiter for this Big Date Boot Camp thingy at 5:40.  Work was so slow that I was able to get out of there early, and so I called him in the hopes that I could go through my stalling, "working on finding the money" message and then just go home without waiting.  I called twice; he wasn't there.  The second time I left a voicemail saying I'm still "working on finding the money"; it was 5:38.  Waited in my car until 5:46.  I thought it was my opportunity to turn off my phone and go home.  If he left a message, I'll return it tomorrow.  Wondering how he'll react.
• I talked about the time and brainpower I spent calculating all the paid time off I needed to use before I lose it at the end of the year.  Well, the company sent an e-mail today saying that they're making a one-time exemption and they are allowing employees to carry over 80 Hours of time off instead of 40.  So all that work -- fucking gone.  Shit.  Fuck me.  It's not just the best laid plans that have gone to shit.  I can now cancel all the requests for time off I've taken for most of the rest of the Fridays this year and save it, just in case, for next year.  But I don't want to, at least not right now, because I now have my mind, and my heart, set on taking all this time off in 2020.  And now I have to consider changing my plans?  Why couldn't the company fucking make this decision back in August, when I started plotting all these days off?
• Yesterday, coming home from that shitshow of a Vikings Game, I was listening to The Current and the DJ said we were going to have a blizzard tomorrow/Tuesday.  What?!?!?!  I didn't hear that on the news Saturday night!  Well, I checked the Internet while at work and, sure enough, there's going to be a lot of snow tomorrow.  That absolutely sucks because I planned on going to one of the bars where our ex-alumni club watches Games and tell him I'm not comfortable hosting those parties this year.  It was perfect because I could get there at 6, just after work, just as parking at the meters goes to free.  After tomorrow I revert to my usual schedule, and if I leave work at 4, I have to pay for two Hours' worth of parking, and I don't want to do that.  And hey, the ground is still warm -- will there really be five inches of snow that piles up, or is this one of those cases where that snow just melts on contact?  Man, I need to talk to the people at this bar, and the one good day I can see them there's supposed to be a fucking snowstorm?

Father packed hard-boiled eggs for work.  I spent all 15 Minutes of my afternoon break ripping the shells off of both eggs.  I was sighing the whole time I was doing it.  And I haven't stopped sighing since.  Life is just one big pain-in-the-ass.

Da Paying For College Crossroads

So Friday afternoon, at ****e's driveway before I went in and fucked her (I moved up the time so as not have that test weigh heavily on my mind, even though it turns out it didn't matter, for reasons I shall explain later), I actually did well -- 90%.  There was one algebra question I really hope I nailed, and it is kind of bothering me that I don't know for sure if I got that right.

I soft-shoed my performance, saying that I was glad I could look up the answers and that there were some questions I would not have even been able to begin to understand.  What's an "operational software," anyway?

Well, the recruiter said that because I passed the quiz, I was accepted.  And so, the next step is paying for the six-month program.  I don't know if I said it before, but it's $11,000 for the whole thing.  I can pay that over six months or two years.  I can also get a grand knocked off if I pay the other ten grand immediately.  I told him to give me the weekend, and he can call me ... and I still may not know.  I told him that "I am doing my best to wrangle the funding -- and I still might not know by Monday."

And this is the crossroads, isn't it?  The maxim that is swirling in my head right now is, "There is never the perfect time to do what you want to do."  I wish there were signs that would utterly point me down this path -- suddenly unemployment, for example, or a huge jackpot where I could pay for the whole program.  Not to mention that I am in no mood to spend 30 hours a week trying to understand computer programming and statistics.  But the alternative is ... this.  I have a steady job, and then I go home, eat, take a nap, go fart around on the Internet, maybe masturbate, then say goodnight.  That sounds like just existing, and not living at all.  And then I fall into that routine and it feels oh-so right.  Smh.

It is not the pressing issue as it was before, thank goodness.  But paying for it is probably the big obstacle facing me right now.  (This "do I want to" question is an existential one, and I don't know if I'll be able to answer it even after I start the program -- if I start the program.)  If I talk about it with my folks, and if they agree to pay for it, or at least backstop it, maybe I'll take the plunge.  Or, maybe it'll be something I dream about doing and not do.  Huh.

Work Work Work Work Work. ...

And now I get to talk about paid time off ... if I haven't talked about it yet.  Don't remember.

So when it comes to paid time off, I am eligible for so many Hours a Year based on tenure.  That time off is meted out every Sunday, about 2 3/4 Hours.  You get to use it whenever you like, assuming that not everybody is trying to take that day off.  (We have a lottery for the most popular days employees want off, such as Black Friday and the week between Christmas and New Year's Day.)  You can even "borrow" up to 40 Hours in advance of getting yours every week.  However, the maximum number of Hours you can carry over to the next calendar Year is 40.  On December 31, any time off you have above 40 Hours is gone forever.

That isn't a problem in normal times.  I remember last year where I actually was trying to cling onto time off that I wanted to carry into 2020.  It was difficult to hold onto them because in November and December there were several days where the work dried up so much we were asked to use time off.  I had some Hours that I took through 2019, but those days of short work lasted past 2019 as well, and I think I used the last of my carryover time off in February when we were once again cut early.

The Year 2020, of course, is not a normal time.  I wanted to take my customary annual trip to St. Louis to whore around with my All-Time Favorite down there.  I also wanted to see my sister and brother-in-law in Hawai'i.  The pandemic, of course, put the kibosh on those plans.  Meanwhile, those nine Weeks or so where we were brought down to part-time Hours did not alter the amount of paid time off we accrued.  I was working from, say 8:30 until 12:30 and yet I still got another 2 3/4 Hours of time off every Sunday.  That's a good thing, but that turned into an embarrassment of riches that I noticed in the back half of the summer.  I was putting in a request to take a day off, and while looking ahead to the end of the year, I noticed that I was going to build up a lot of paid time off, much of which I was going to lose if I didn't start scheduling days off for myself starting, like, the day I noticed this.

So I came up with a plan.  Calculating the number of Hours I need to use or otherwise lose, I put in requests to take either half-days or whole days off every other Friday.  It wasn't easy to figure that out, even with the line graph of Hours of time off I would both get and use, because I could only put in requests up to three Months in advance.  But by October 1, I got in all the Hours I needed to request off to get me down below 40 Hours by the time 2020 finally dies off.  (By the way, I figure that it is better to get down below 40 Hours now despite the theoretical risk that we will be cut off from work this November and December as well.  Some of the days in which we got cut were the days after Christmas, and since Christmas this Year falls on a Friday, I won't have to worry about using my paid time off on Boxing Day because I won't be working on Boxing Day.  And besides, if I do get cut early, I could put in a request to take back my paid time off and work the whole day instead.)

But one complication has made things complicated, and it started well before October 1.  I have been asked by my boss to fill in for other people in other departments on weeks where I planned on using time off.  In situations like this (and for my whole time employed there I think I refused an ask by my boss to fill in just once), I get back the paid time off I am actually working.  I don't mind it; I like to help out.  But it seems as though right now I am filling in for a lot of people -- much of it on short notice, possibly because the people I'm filling in for also have a surplus of use-it-or-lose-it paid time off.  So when I go back above 40 Hours, I need to find another Friday in which I can take off in whole or in part.

That has happened so often that instead of taking paid time off on alternate Fridays, I am taking paid time off on most Fridays through the end of the Year.  In fact, right now, including yesterday, I am supposed to work all day on only three Fridays for the rest of 2020.  And I think that's going to go down to two.  (This is the reason why I decided to blog post about this.)  Late last/Friday night my boss texted me giving me a head's-up that I might have to come in to work for someone in The Third Department because the person who was supposed to work there today/Saturday is sick.  Several Hours later, he texted again confirming that the guy is sick (and, God bless him, but the way this came about suddenly, I think he's got the 'Rona) and that I can come in for six Hours of work.  (Aside: I texted back asking if working six Hours will put me into Overtime, something that my boss says he is under constant pressure not to give out.  But then I realized that my Hours of work will just displace the eight Hours of paid time off I took yesterday/Friday.  My goodness, I still don't understand paid time off.)  I'm above 40 once again, so I'll have to find a stray Friday and beg to put in only a half-Day.

I'm now afraid that this won't be the end of it.  We've got ten Weeks left of the Year, and I think more people will either come down with something or beg for time off, and my boss will ask me to come in, and I'll say yes, and I'll get back paid time off that I will now be desperate to use up before the Year is over.  I find it a tad ironic that I am obsessed to find days not to work, and yet I am still working like a dog.  Rihanna said it best -- "Work, work, work, work, work," followed by crap I don't understand.

Through all the anxiety I had for getting a homework assignment and helping Mother buy something on Amazon and me relaxing that my weekend technically has won, I forgot to turn off my alarm this morning.  I woke up, turned it off, and went back to bed, and I immediately went back to sleep.  Still, it would have been nice to just sleep straight through.

Did that affect me waking up a bit past 8?  I went to bed around 3:30, so getting only 4 1/2 Hours on my day off sucks.  But I did sleep for three Hours yesterday evening, and I feel really awake now.  And, hopefully, after I fuck ****e in a couple hours, I'll be able to sleep then.

For The First Time In Decades, I Had Homework

So I got an e-mail from the University of Minnesota -- I keep in touch with their Continuing Studies program, just in case I finally get the balls to go back to school.  It's this thing the college refers to as something like Big Data Boot Camp.  And I became instantly intrigued.

Big Data, aka data analytics aka data science, etc., is a big field, a burgeoning field, and a field that may be inoculated against automation.  It is a field I have thought about entering in an abstract, how-do-I-look-if-I-try-this-on kind of way.  One of the main uses I can get from this boot camp, which I think teaches you programming and data mining, is the flexibility with which what you learn can be applied to great, forward-looking jobs.  In particular (and kudos to the marketing department for thinking of this), doing this six-month intensive program is a part of being a data journalist.  And golly, I could go back to making my degree worth something.

I am very, very content with my work situation now, screwing up on the job notwithstanding.  I like my job partly because I don't (and actually can't) take work home with me, but I don't know if I can just stay there the rest of my life.  Plus, I would like to make more money.  Finally, the marketing e-mail just said that if I were interested, contact this recruiter for more information.  That does not seem like a commitment, so I first filled out a webpage and, after getting a few e-mails back, finally scheduled an appointment for a call with this recruiter.

So I took this call after work yesterday, out in the park, in the middle of a howling wind, while eating two items (the Mexican Pizza and a Shredded Chicken Quesadilla Melt) Taco Bell will be removing from their menu permanently in three weeks.  It was part interview -- "Why are you interested in our program?" -- and part passive-aggressive interrogation, by which I mean the recruiter (and by no means I am fooled into thinking this guy, or this program, has much to do with the U.; I did some quick research just now and the U. is mostly a cover for this company to make money, from which the U. probably gets a cut in exchange for this company to slap the U.'s name on the certificate each person gets after completing this program) asked me basic questions for the Boot Camp.  One question I could definitely answer affirmatively: "Do you have a laptop?"  One question, "Can you devote 30 hours a week for this program, in both online classes and homework?" I answered yes to but, deep down, gives me pause.  And one other question -- "Can you pay 11 grand?" -- I think I answered with, "Sure!"  Sure is not yes, and I hope he knows what I meant by that.

But I answered the way he wanted me to answer, so the phone call, which was supposed to go 30 minutes, was about to wrap in less than 20.  However, he confirmed my e-mail address because he was going to send me a link to a test that I had to do.  A test???  You mean, like, homework?  And then he is going to follow up with the results of the test the next day, meaning today.  Fuck, man, I have the day off.  And speaking of fuck, I planned on spending the day fucking ****e's brains out.  And now I have to spend my Thursday evening worrying about getting 30 questions right (and in 30 minutes -- it was timed, and the recruiter probably said that over the phone, but I didn't hear it because the wind ruined the reception of the call) in order to even be accepted to this program?

Well, maybe I overreacted.  First of all, I took a dirt nap between 7 and 10 this evening, so I was all woken up.  I took a shower and took this test naked with wet hair.  And, oh, the recruiter did say that this quiz was open-book.  In fact, the instructions before I took the test encouraged me to open up another browser window to look up answers.  After looking up the first question I needed to look up, I could see by the automated fill-in suggestions on Google that I definitely was not the first person to apply for Big Data Boot Camp.

So, to be honest, it was a lot less harder than I thought.  I got through the 30 questions in 13 minutes.  The recruiter said I needed 70% to pass, and even though I probably wasn't perfect, my Google skills are on point, so I think I cleared that threshold.  (Shit, man, they'd probably accept me if I didn't reach 70% because the company he works for needs as much tuition money they can get.)  I just found it a tad annoying I had to take a friggin' quiz when my weekend has already started.  Oh, and I still have a "visit from a professor" tomorrow, and I don't know if the time I gave him is a good time.  I mean, I could still be fucking ****e's brains out when he calls.

The Double Bind

The meetings with my alma mater's alumni association about re-establishing official ties has hit a snag.  We did not Zoom Sunday, and that may have been because we were all busy, or it may be an indication that there is nothing new, or left, to talk about.  I don't really know where we stand, but it's not looking good.

Combine that with my school deciding to play football Games before the New Year after all.  Back in August the conference my school was in decided they would delay all fall sports into 2021.  They changed their mind because, they say, they got access to rapid tests.  I'm sure it was because of the money, and because of pressure from crazy-ass anti-maskers.

That situation creates a dynamic where I can win in one area but lose in another.  Football Games are a huge deal for my university, and so with the resumption of football, Game-watching parties will once again become a hot topic.  I am very, very reluctant to hold one this season, however, because of the pandemic; the two places my ex-club goes to to watch Games does not have an outdoor patio with a TV.  We would have to be stuck inside for more than three Hours, and that is a perfect environment in which the coronavirus can spread.

Now, how does the alumni association feel about the prospect of alumni gathering together to watch Games?  But then I have to stop myself: There are no longer alumni chapters, so who cares what they think?  We basically can do whatever the hell we want.

But I can see people who feel burned by the AA taking this a step further.  Assuming that my university is asking alums not to congregate together indoors to watch football (I think this is a logical step, but I have no idea if the university will even make that declaration), would pissed-off alumni say, "Screw you!  You can't tell us what to do anymore because you cut us loose!"  We're gonna watch Games together!  Indoors!  Without masks!  And you can't do a goddamn thing about it!"  I can envision alums watching Games together not only because it's football, but also because they will see it as a way to stick it to the alma mater that turned its back on them/us.

This, I'm afraid, would be a way of cutting off your nose to spite your face, or, in current political terms, "owning the libs."  I think people will risk their health, and maybe even their lives, to do something that our alma mater will maybe/probably tell us not to do.  They think that if we do accede to the university's wishes not to get together, we will be knuckling under to the folks that disbanded our alumni clubs, and we cannot be that submissive.

So, I have to stick it to the AA and watch Games together, unsafely, and potentially spread a killer virus to my fellow alums and friends, or catch it myself?  Or I tell people we will not be meeting together and thus act like a cuckold to the people that killed off alumni relations (and, to be honest [even though this has nothing to do with our Resistance's current fight with the AA], lose all continuity with local alums who know that we watch Games together in downtown Minneapolis)?

I lose one way or the other.  So I don't know what I'm going to do.  Meanwhile, they start play in three Weeks, and if I'm going to be responsible, I need to tell local alums my plans ASAP.

My psychologist calls situations like this, where I lose one thing or another, a "double bind."  I fucking hate double blinds.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: United FC (Last Week: -1).  This week we have only two teams, both exhibiting extreme incompetence, but in very different ways.

It feels weird to reward the team that got its only Game scheduled this week cancelled, but technically, the Loons didn't lose, let alone in excruciating fashion, so they get the top spot here.  Nevertheless, the COVID-19 bug all other Minnesota sports teams were able to dodge hit MNUFC.  Two players (not known ... for now) tested positive for the 'Rona, and therefore the XI not only didn't play Wednesday's scheduled Match vs. FC Dallas, they didn't even get on the plane.  (Good thing they didn't take off only to have to fly back.)

I have to say that it has been remarkable the extent to which some leagues have kept players and teams virus-free.  By "some leagues" I, of course, mean the NBA and the NHL.  It has been repeated on Twitter by many people that the NBA ran thousands of tests and did not come up with one single positive result.  (By the way, congratulations to the Los Angeles Lakers on winning their twelfth NBA title!)  Same thing, however, with the NHL, so give that league props -- and note that instead of just one city (Orlando), the NHL conducted its Stanley Cup Playoffs across two (Edmonton and Toronto), although the fact that they did it in Canada, a nation that is taking coronavirus seriously, may have a lot to do with its success.

Contrast that to MLB, which saw two teams, St. Louis and Miami, get riven with outbreaks of COVID-19, or the NFL, where positive tests have resulted in the moving of eight Games up and down the schedule, or college football, which have had dozens of Games either postponed or cancelled.  The common characteristic for those leagues is that there is no bubble; Games are being played on home fields to which opponents have to travel.  And while we need to learn more about how the virus is being transmitted, even a Republican (if he or she is honest with himself/herself) can see that not having players, coaches and staff quarantined in a certain area, allowing them to live with family members who themselves have had contact with other people in public, and force them to travel to other cities around the United States is a recipe for a dish that the coronavirus is getting fat on.

MLS restarted play in a bubble, and although it got so bad for two teams that they withdrew from the tournament, things finally settled down and the positive tests stopped.  Now they have been taking steps towards normalcy by resuming a regular season, but then the goddamn positives started showing up.  And now it's infected United FC.  What I'm saying is, the only way sports leagues are not going to get interrupted by COVID-19 is to bubble up.  Or, better yet, not fucking play at all.

The squad is scheduled to play two Games this week: Tonight/Wednesday night versus the Chicago Fire, then Sunday night vs. the Houston Dynamo.  Both Games are at home.  Let's hope both Games actually go off.

#-2: Vikings (Last Week: -2).  Why didn't those fuckers kick a fucking Field Goal with two Minutes left instead of going for it?  You would be leading by eight Points, which means that Russell Wilson has to drive down 75 Yards for a Touchdown with only Time Out, then go for the Two-Point Conversion -- and even if he does all that, you'd still be playing in Overtime.

Or, better yet, why in hell was this team chasing points after scoring a TD to make it 21-19 against the Seahawks in Seattle?  There was more than a Quarter left, and that drive demonstrated that Seattle's Defense was very beatable.  If they just kicked a PAT, and if they just kicked a FG at the Two-Minute Warning, they would be up by nine and the Seahawks would have had to score twice, which would be impossible.

So to that you say something to the effect of, "Blah-blah-blah, analytics say always go for two, you want to be aggressive, etc."; (wanking motion) why is aggression always a good thing?  How about being smart?  How about thinking?  And to those who complain about bandwagoners like me who will complain about a Head Coach going for it and failing, and then turn around and complain about a Head Coach playing it safe -- hey, I don't blame a club for going for it or for playing it safe.  I blame a club for losing.  And I get to be an unreasonable sports fan and complain about decisions made after the fact if that decision leads us to a loss.  Being at least thankful for being aggressive is the equivalent to a moral victory.  It's fucking useless.

Oh, and Dalvin's hurt.  Plus Atlanta comes to town just after firing their Head Coach and General Manager.  Something tells me The Dirty Birds will be all jacked up and motivated now that old leadership has been let go.  You know, even though I saw first hand another chokejob to The Bastard Houston Oilers, going 2-3 would feel as if this team has turned the corner.  No, they haven't.  Another collapse is more evidence that this strange season will also turn out to be a long one.

So, How Do I React To This?

Apparently I fucked up at work again!  It was The Third Department this time.  My supervisor left me an e-mail for me to read first thing my work week yesterday morning.  According to her, I left something that I could have done before I left work on Friday.  But, and this is the key here, she explained, in condescending terms that I take umbrage with because there is no way you can tell tone through e-mail, why it was such a bad thing to leave that out there.  "By doing that, you delay the release of the test sample for another 12 hours ..." (wanking motion).

Me screwing up, I can deal with.  I've done it before, and by God, I'll do it again.  But it's the explanation that set me off.  Like I don't fucking know what happens when something is left ... there.  Like she hasn't told me that before.  And when I read that, all I could think of was ... my parents.  That pedantic condescension whereby she told me bullshit I already know but thought I needed to be reminded of ... well, I get triggered because that bullshit is what I have suffered from all my life.

And so my first thought was to fire back at her with a message that she'll see and get pissed off over first thing this morning -- something to the effect of, "What call?  What the hell are you talking about?!  I didn't see no call, and it's not right that you're accusing me of not doing my job!"  But, well, it might be a sign of maturity that I didn't do that.  I have learned that when I get triggered, don't act rash, just take a step back, and if I still feel strongly about it, then say so, just not in so many words.

So I waited, and I thought.  I swear I checked and didn't see anything ... but maybe I didn't.  And I am still far from perfect in this job.  Also, firing an insult as a comeback probably isn't the best thing to do at my supervisor who, to be fair, has treated me well.  And maybe she didn't mean to strike such a hectoring tone.  And hey, maybe I had good reason not to do it ... assuming I did check and that I could have done it and I didn't.

I waited until the end of my day to fire off a letter.  My initial fury had boiled down to a simmer, and I decided I would ask that we discuss what she said I didn't do the next day.  Finally, however, I felt as though I didn't do anything wrong and had to put that somewhere in my e-mail.  Just a little pushback as a way of defending myself.  So I typed that I swore I checked, and in the morning I would really like to see if I really did overlook this and/or did not check.  I don't think I sound confrontational in the e-mail, yet I had to show I was not willing to be totally conciliatory.  And, as I type this, I can see me going up to her first thing in the morning, demanding her to show me where she thinks I went wrong, and explaining away why I either didn't check or why I had good reason not to do it.  Or, I will see I totally screwed it up and that I totally was at fault.

Right now I am still imagining a scenario where things could blow up wherein I have decided that I wanted things to blow up.  But I didn't go DEFCON 1 yesterday morning when I would have years ago.  I decided to stop and think.  Maybe that's growing up, and maybe I'm reacting correctly to this.

Addendum To: Another Goddamn Flat Tire ...

Oh, yeah.  It took all of the morning and enough of the afternoon to end any chance I had of taking a nap before going to work (I had to have lunch with my folks), but I got the tire fixed under warranty -- although not for free, as there was a charge to transfer the warranty to the new tire, or something?

About the bent rim: The guy said his men checked it out, and it wasn't bent.  He said there was cosmetic damage to the rim, which are the scratches I saw, but no structural damage.  OK.

It has been about three weeks, and so far, I see no deflation from that new tire.  I feel like I need to be a bit more vigilant in checking tire pressure, at least until winter comes, just in case.

All in all, I'll take it.  I have been treated fairly.

Jerk-off Material

One of the big things I miss about not being able to go out because of the pandemic is seeing all the babes.  So I want to note this hot babe I was walking behind while on a Target run the other day.

She caught my eye with her barebelly shirt, even though (hopefully) she didn't notice me because she was on her cellphone.  Then, as I followed her through the automatic doors, I could see that probably because of the high wedges she was wearing, when (I think) she put her heel and toe down, her nice ass jiggled.  So the combination of seeing skin and her ample ass jiggling is ... yeah, I need to jerk off to her at some point.

Mothered Triggered Me, Maybe

Yeah, so for dinner today we were eating steak.  Mother brought out some avocados she cut.  I was going to eat some of them, I swear.  But when she set that cup of avocados in front of me and said, "You not gonna eat the avocados?" I banged the fork and knife on the table and shot back at her, "You want me to eat the avocados?"  And I was silent for the rest of dinner -- although, in her quiet conversation with Father, she might have been bitching about me in front of her.

All my life she has been putting food in front of me and asking me, "You not gonna eat the (food she put in front of me)?"  Shit, she did that this morning, when we were eating banh mi and she asked me, "You not gonna drink tea?"  I just said, "Nope."  And that was it ... except that it wasn't, when she asked the same obnoxious goddamn thing again.

Did she say what she said tonight because of what I said this morning?  Maybe.  But it may be more a case of how I perceive what she said.  I couldn't tell if she was talking shit about me in front of me because she was speaking Chinese.  I suspect that she's been talking about me in front of me all my fucking life because I have never understood Chinese.  But maybe that language barrier ... well, makes me think she said, and says, something she didn't/doesn't say.  By that I mean I wonder if she's really saying, "You not gonna eat/drink (item to be consumed)?"  I am annoyed that she has told me to eat and drink everything put in front of me all my life.  But I am also triggered when she says, or at least I perceive her saying, "You gonna eat/drink that?"  Those words sound like taunting to me, and I'm sick of it, but maybe, just maybe, she doesn't mean it that way.  Maybe she's asking me, "We have (food/drink) available.  Would you like some?"  Or, at the very least, she isn't taunting me.

(sigh)

I think I've made her mad, and I feel bad about that.  And yet, I feel that now she's going to hold that against me, and that one day soon she's just going to blow up on me for something that is no big deal.  And I can probably trace that meltdown back to what I said today.

I'm going to find something in the fridge she made and eat it in a vain, circuitous attempt to make peace with her.

Nightmare

So in this nightmare, I woke up in the afternoon, a bit past 3 p.m.  I dawdled because I was subbing in for someone at work (my real job) second shift.  I dawdled till a bit past 4 ... when I realized that I had to be at work at 3:30.  And I was berating myself for not understanding when I needed to be at work, especially when (at least according to the "life" I was leading in my nightmare) I had worked second shift before, so I should have known that I had to get to work at 3:30 and not, probably according to my thinking in my nightmare, 4:30.

Grandmother was alive and there.  On my rush out of the house she stopped me by giving me things.  Not just food to take to eat, but also clothes she wanted me to wear.  And I got more and more frustrated by her recommendations that just slowed me down.  And then I woke up.

---

This weekend I have come upon a couple epiphanies.  I'll share them later.  But this nightmare I think has taught me something.  Yesterday/Saturday morning I got repeatedly exasperated when I sat down to eat lunch with my parents and Mother kept telling me there's more food to eat.

Maybe this nightmare is telling me that my exasperation over being told to do this, to eat that, to wear this didn't start with Mother.  I don't remember a precise memory of Grandmother hectoring me like that (although, come to think about, there was at least one time when I was young that Grandmother told me to put these clothes on).  But maybe my subconscious is telling me that my annoyance over ... this did not start with Mother.

Uh-Oh -- Permission From The Boyfriend?

So back to ******a, the stripper whom I have been getting massages from at her place and with whom I had convinced to massage me naked so I could parade my dick in front of her ... the last time I went she asked me to keep my underwear on because, and this is what she said, she had recently started seeing someone and promised him that the massages she does are to men who are not naked.  This is somewhat damaging to my fantasy of getting massaged naked, but if she wants to be, uh, "faithful" to this person (who, by the way, she said she started seeing only a couple weeks before), this would make sense, and I am not one to do anything that could ruin a relationship.

Provided the relationship is healthy.  Need to throw that in because of what happened Thursday, I think.  I wanted to get another massage session in (with underwear on, that's fine), so I texted ******a.  We settled on a time, and then she said, "OK, I'll run it by my boyfriend.  Can you text me in the morning to see if it's OK?"

Yeah.  Red flags, everywhere.  I remember taking a class at the U. -- over one summer while I was in college, I believe -- and even though I don't remember the class subject, there was a guest speaker who worked at a domestic violence shelter.  He said something that was very informative, yet also kind of haunts me to this day.  The first thing a domestic abuser wants to do to his victim is cut off her relationships in order to isolate her.  It always starts innocently enough, according to this expert: "Man, your cousin, she's kind of judgmental!  Why do you hang out with her?  Let's just Netflix and chill instead!"  Pretty soon, no one hangs out with her because all she does is try and please her man at home.  And she inevitably fails at that because eventually he will get pissed at something she does, or doesn't do, and he'll beat her.

And it all starts with convincing her to stop talking to her friends.  That is what I get when she, essentially, is running to her boyfriend asking for permission to massage me.  Giving massages is (or was) how ******a gets her money.  More importantly, she is (or was) offering a service to which I took her up on.  There have been no happy endings, as much as I try.  And yet now, a grown-ass woman, is seeking permission to do something she had been doing without needing anyone's permission before she met him?  She never struck me as someone having the personality of a battered spouse.  But as out of the blue as this is, that text is a bad, troubling sign.

(Caveat: She is not a battered spouse to my knowledge, but I feel as though she is, uh, flighty.  Maybe she doesn't need permission from her boyfriend.  I have wondered, frankly, if she has a boyfriend at all.  She could be lying to me because I had not taken her up on her initial ask of giving me massages more frequently than sporadically.)

I love ******a.  But I know better than to inject myself into a dangerous situation with a controlling man who sounds like he has the ability to hurt someone -- probably her, and maybe Other Guys like me.  So I will text her this morning (if not now) and see what her boyfriend said.  I suspect she will say no, I cannot come, to which I will extricate myself from seeing her at all (or at least until she dumps him -- and he stays away), tell her she can reach out to me if she needs to, and wish her well.

And then I will hope I won't see her in the news.

Oops -- Was That This Week??

I have noted my frustration and boredom with this alumni thing.  To reiterate in a tl;dr way, while I am absolutely up in arms about the decision that was made by my alma mater, I have become sort of disinterested in our efforts to find a middle ground.

But I haven't delved deep into that, so I will -- well, quickly.  Not only have I become nonplussed with both the glacial pace of getting this done and the constant back-and-forth with The Other Side, I have gotten a tad frustrated with people on my own side.  The leftists among us believe that these constant meetings have generated a repeated tone of frustration when the air of negotiation should win the day.  There are some of us, quite simply, who believe that were are not airing our grievances so much as offering to help The Other Side with their alumni engagement efforts and their new social media platforms.  In other words, some people believe we are just working for them, and for free.

That's a legitimate gripe.  But I don't know how to counteract that when, at least to the conciliatory rank-and-file, progress has been made and that any outburst from us that gets out into the public and finds its way back to alumni relations will torpedo any concessions we have asked for repeatedly and after a long time.  I have begun to feel as though we are dividing ourselves into these two camps.  And I for one know that The Other Side is counting on such a rift to finally get us out of their way and to finally implement, in full, all these changes to the alumni relations hierarchy and technology they have so bizarrely wanted to do before the end of the year.  Bottom line: As bad as this is, I am starting to get frustrated both with people on my side who don't put up much of a fight and those on my side who believe everything coming from The Other Side is a slap in the face, and that breaking off all negotiations will be good for us in the long run.

---

So The Other Side has basically dictated to us when they want to meet.  For this time around (and I think the two sides have met over Zoom three times up to this point, including a couple weeks ago), they gave us two choices: Thursday and Friday.  I was flexible with either, but I told The Resistance that if we hold this meeting on Friday and it goes as bad as I fear it will, it'll totally ruin my weekend, so I reluctantly threw my hat in the ring for Thursday.

OK, fast forward to afternoon lunch break at work yesterday/Thursday.  I turn on my LTE and I was hit with all these notifications on GroupMe (never should have downloaded this app) whereby I am in a group with all the others in The Resistance.  There has been periods of furtive chatter on it, and it had gotten to be annoying.  And so my phone blew up again through these notifications where they were talking about getting on the meeting.  You know, the meeting ... next Thursday.

Right?  Wait -- no?

Stupid me.  The Other Side hastily asked for a meeting after a third meeting, which I swear was only last week.  But when they said Thursday, they meant yesterday.  I saw all of this just before the Zoom was supposed to began.  But I was stuck at work.  I apologized profusely and begged for someone else from the group to hop on and get the lowdown on what this meeting was all about.

Frequently after these meetings with The Other Side, some of us join in on an impromptu chat to talk about what we discussed, what we should do and, most importantly, bitch about The Other Side.  I told the folks that if they want to do a post-game, I think I could join in.  But I didn't.  The Zoom lasted an hour, as did the post-game.  And after I got home (which was an hour after I saw all this hubbub and saw my grave mistake), I wanted to eat a leisurely dinner after my folks already ate.  By the time I got done with the pork and corn on the cob and salad and bread, The Resistance got done with the post-game, too.

This isn't a good look.  And honestly, I feel really, really bad for pussing out on this meeting, as innocent a mistake this was.  But this shows, yet again, into a self-destructive practice I fall into.  I went through the messages I got about the meeting that was planned this week, not next, and it clearly said "October 8" or an equivalent in several of them.  This isn't an oversight, and it isn't just inattention.  I know myself.  I had wished that this meeting would take place on the 15th, and so when I saw that they were asking for a Zoom meeting Thursday or Friday, I wanted it to be next Thursday or Friday, and therefore my mind expected it would be next Thursday or Friday.  And I simply didn't care to look carefully for a date or the phrase "this Thursday or Friday," both of which did appear in the e-mails I looked back on to see if this was really my fault.  And it clearly is my fault.

I get the feeling the folks will start to doubt my commitment to the cause.  They have good reason to doubt me.  And yet I am totally, totally sorry for completely fucking this up.

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: September

Hmmm ... at first glance (and right now, as I type this, this is the first real glance I'm taking of this month), I see a lot of untapped potential.  I see four babes (Lisamarie/Pembroke Pines, Fla.; Mia/St. Petersburg, Fla.; Deda/Knoxville, Tenn.; and Taylor/Orange Park, Fla.) whose photos would put them in the running for Best Babe were it not for the fact that their arms are folded in front of them.  Why did the photographer pose them like that?  It detracts from the shot and it hides the beautiful bodies of these beautiful women.  I don't get it, and the more photos I see from the Hooters calendars I buy each year, the more maddening this gets.

There is another woman, Emily out of Fairview Heights, Ill., who I would also consider -- except that she is posed while a shower is running.  It is hitting her flat stomach, and she was told to cup her hands in order to disperse the drop of the water and make it look, uh, "different."  That prop is also distracting as hell.  The shower is completely unnecessary.  Argh!  (But, at least I will get a chance to get this calendar signed by her next year when I visit St. Louis.  Hopefully.)

So that describes five of the 14 waitresses posing in September.  Those five above are honorable mentions.  I, however, have found three worthy of spankiness.  In third place is Sydney out of North Charleston, S. C.  The blonde with long hair is wewaring a pink/salmon one-piece wraparound bikini that shows off her stomach.  But I sense a body under there, plus it's almost directly facing the camera, and there is nothing in front of her body, like her arms or, in the case of poor, poor Lisamarie, a fucking bongo.

In second place is Orlando's Portia.  She does have a bothersome composition; her right hand is placed on her stomach, and a leaves of a plant are foregrounded on the bottom, which is hella nonsensical.  But damn, you gotta look at Portia.  She has long straight black hair and eyes that are pools of endless deep blue.  She's wearing an olive green two-piece bikini with a white border.  And although part of her stomach is covered, goddamn, what a slim, sexy stomach!

First place, however, goes to the girl with the big picture, Cassie from Fort Worth, Tex.  It's an All-American look: Long blonde hair, pink two-piece whose bottom ties up on the sides, and a bangin' body.  There's ... something on the ground in front of her, but that's where having the big picture is a huge advantage: What dominates is Cassie's gorgeous figure, not some object the photographer felt the need to place in the photograph, and the bigger the figure, the more you can ignore the object.

So congratulations to Cassie, as well as Portia and Sydney.  I will be sure to masturbate to all of you as soon as I have the chance!!!

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: United FC (Last Week: -1).  I was really torn on how to order this week's survey.  I have given a lot, and I mean a lot, of thought to putting the Mild at #-1.  They weren't playing, which means they didn't even have a chance to break my heart.

In the end, though, that seemed strange, and so I went back to the main criterion I have for the WMNSS, which is record for the screening week.  Oh, with consideration for postseason prospects sprinkled in as a tiebreaker.  With that, the Loons take the top spot for a second week in a row by dint of a 2-0 over Cincinnati Saturday night and a scoreless Tie in Nashville last/Tuesday night.  Four Points drifts MNUFC to a tie for fourth in the West, even though they and Nasvhille SC were the only teams playing last/Tuesday night and the rest of the league plays tonight/Wednesday night.

In other news, lost in all the subsequent chatter over Donald Trump suspected of having the 'Rona, on Thursday the team announced that they traded Mason Toye to the Montreal Impact in exchange for money.  I swear, this time a year ago I believed Toye was going to be this team's Striker of the future.  And now he's gone?  I'm not as heartbroken about this trade as I am for the one with Christian Ramirez.  But I am starting to ... (sigh) understand that soccer teams are just meatgrinders, where players pass through so quickly that they might as well hole up in an ExtendedStay America until they're told to leave.

The problem, as I have read, is that Head Coach Adrian Heath demands that Forwards score consistently.  That gives them more dependable playing time.  And if he doesn't do that, off he goes.  Heath is merciless like that.  You remember all the hoopla over Thomas Chacon?  He's not even with the team right now; he might have gone back to Uruguay.  And despite Luis Amarilla playing like a bat out of hell pre-COVID, he likely is on his way out, too.  Kei Kamara has a long track record in MLS of being a dependable Striker, but knowing Heath and the win-now attitude (and is this team in win-now mode, only in its fourth year of top-flight existence?) with the franchise, if he doesn't score, he's also done for.

Bottom line: The side needs to put balls in the net.  Will they be able to do it Sunday night as they take yet another trip down to Dallas?

#-2: Vikings (Last Week: -2).  I did not see this coming.  I did not expect the Vikes to go down to Houston and beat the Texans.  And, in my opinion, they shouldn't have.  That catch by Will Fuller V was so wishy-washy that I didn't think there was convincing evidence to overturn the ruling on the field.  Whatever it would have been, I thought it should have stayed, and since the ruling on the field was a catch for a Touchdown, it should have stayed that way.  But somehow it was overturned, the Vikings got the ball back on downs, and they're off the schneid.

Sure, if the TD stood, the Texans would have had to go for two.  They might not have made it, but maybe they would have because the Defense still isn't that great.  And then, who knows?  Maybe Houston wins in OT.  Maybe the ViQueens go to 0-4.  Maybe the Texans don't fire Bill O'Brien.  (Imagine that, the Vikings being the death knell for O'Brien's tenure in Houston.)  As such, we saw on Sunday an Offense that looked real good.  Dalvin Cook remains the steadfast producer on that side of the ball.  And Justin Jefferson ... well, he now has the most Receiving Yards of any Viking in his first four Games.  I think he's on his way to becoming somebody.

Next is a Sunday night matchup in Seattle against the Seahawks.  Nope, not happening.  Well, maybe.  A 5% chance.  So ... nope.  Not happening.

#-3: Wild (Re-Entry!).  The way I'm feeling right now, at this moment, I wouldn't feel right giving the Mild the top spot in the survey based on a draft pick.  It's the NHL, so I have no idea who the heck this Marco Rossi dude is.  What I do know, however, is that more mock drafts had Minnesota selecting this Austrian Center.  Moreover, for the ninth pick, Rossi would be projected as The Best Player Available.  He also plays in a position of severe need for the Wild.

And what I find most promising is that a lot of writers thought this was a home run pick.  There are more NHL-ready players, and there are even better Centers available in this draft.  But a lot of writers are high on Rossi for his vision, his ability to keep the puck at his blade, and for ... well, for moves like these:

He slid down to ninth only because he's small and he isn't as strong as some would like.  But some people think Rossi is ready to play in the NHL now -- and that includes Rossi himself.  Some confidence?  This organization sorely needs that right now.

In the meantime, General Manager Bill Guerin continues to, somehow, remake this roster.  A lot of people fans have grown accustomed to seeing at the X are gone.  Well, maybe not Ryan Donato, who was here for only a brief period of time.  But Devan Dubnyk is also gone.  (Both went to San Jose although, weirdly enough, in separate deals; the GM for the Sharks wanted it that way, for some reason.)

Dubnyk had family issues to deal with this season, and his play has slipped for the last couple.  But I remember the Mild just after the New Year in 2015 and struggling mightily, especially between the pipes.  The GM at the time, Chuck Fletcher, traded a third-round pick to The Bastard Winnipeg Jets for Dubnyk because they were desperate for a Goalie who didn't suck.  Up to that point Dubnyk, who spent the previous year in the AHL in the midst of being traded twice, was a journeyman, and when I heard about the trade I just thought the Mild were absolutely fucking desperate.  But he would win his first Game after flying in to Buffalo that day, he would start the next 37 Games, he would be the backstopper for a league-tying record of 12 consecutive wins on the road, and he would pilot the Wild from being eight Points out of a postseason spot to the Second Round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

Devan Dubnyk was the perfect person, and the sole solution, for a team that needed no one less than a savior at its most vulnerable state.  In fact, when this chapter of Minnesota professional hockey is written, I think he will be remembered quite fondly for saving the Wild organization from what would have been a year, and could have been years, of mediocrity and fan indifference.  So, for that, I say: Thank you, Devan Dubnyk.

#-Infinity: Twins (Last Week: -3).  Abject.  Failure.  Abject.  Fucking.  Failure.

I am so pissed off that this team is dead to me.  What can I say that hasn't already been said?  We can talk about the overreliance on sabermetrics, which shuffled out another Starting Pitcher who did well (in Wednesday's Game 2 it was Jose Berrios, probably turning in his best-ever postseason pitching performance) in favor of bullpen arms that noticeably ran out of gas -- in the case of the elimination Game, Cody Stashak gave up the Game-winning, Series-ending, Season-killing score with a Home Run by noted cheater Carlos Correa, and Taylor Rogers, so often good in the past but so leaky this season, finished the balance of the scoring by allowing yet another Run, the last in the 3-1 defeat.  We should also definitely talk about the illusion of "The Bomba Squad" as they, for a second consecutive season, became The Broomba Squad after getting swept.  The Offense was even more anemic than last year's postseason cameo.  The Twinks didn't get two Run in the two Games in this Series; Nelson Cruz got two Runs.

And speaking of ... Nellie Cruz probably is the one guy out of the many rumored to be leaving the organization that I would want to keep.  It doesn't matter if he's 50; he has proven to be the only guy on this team that can hit when it really matters.  Odorizzi, Rosario, Gonzalez, Jorge Polanco and that goddamn fuck-up on that grounder in Game 1, which directly led to that 4-1 loss and, turns out, heralded the return of The Curse that damned The Bastard Washington Senators v.1.0. to 18 straight postseason losses -- they can go all the way to Go Fuck Yourself City, for all I care.

Sick of this fucking cuck team.