Make Up The Money I Had To Spend, Or Live A Little?

I vowed that I was going to cut back on my spending because I had to shell out two grand to get my car fixed.  Well, just last/Tuesday night I decided to go out to First Ave. to see DJ Shadow, a legendary indie hip-hop artist whom I've heard of but whose work I am not familiar with.  Thirty-five bucks is a decent price for a concert of someone of that stature these days.  Trust me, if it were a tad more expensive than that, I would not have gone.  Still, combined with the price of a Strongbow and the cost of gas, it was, oh, almost $50 I could have saved by staying home.

But shoot, that's no fun.  And hey, I really liked the concert.

I'm not gonna make up that money, am I?

Oh, Wait, I Can't Watch Porn Now ... And That's OK ... ?

Yeah, I kind of realized this last/Sunday night before I went to bed: Since I don't have my laptop with me because it's getting fixed, I can't watch any porn if I want to.  At first I was bummed out.  I am not going to go on either of My Father's computers to look at it because I'm too scared I'd get caught.  (Granted, that didn't stop me way back when, when I didn't have my own lap and was using his computer to go on the Internet regularly.)  There are my old Playboys I've stashed in my desk, and there's the Hooters calendar hanging up on my wall right now, but physical media is so nineties.

So, what to do?  How about nothing?  Once I had my realization, I shrugged.  I don't feel the need to jerk off much these days now that I'm old and frail.  I certainly don't feel it now, as I'm typing.  So frankly, I'm not missing it.  I think I can go a week without porn.  Now, if the urge hits me out of blue some time before the weekend, well, I will take back everything I just said.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -7).  The Gopher grapplers' ascension to the top spot in this screening Week's WMNSS is not an indication that they surprised the college wrestling world, even though it is nice that they 13th-ranked Rutgers on the road Saturday, 20-12.  No, it's more on all the other local teams underwhelming.  With that being said, they spend the weekend at Maturi vs. Maryland and Northwestern, so the schedule could give the program a much-needed, though probably ephemeral, boost.

#-2: Timberwolves (Last Week: -1).  Goddamn, I was at the Game last Monday against Charlotte.  It was supposed to be a walkover, a complete rout.  It occurred to me late in the First Half that Karl-Anthony Town was having a good night, and then I looked up at the scoreboard and say that he had 35.  Thirty-five fucking Points?!  He scored 60-something that night, a night, I saw on Twitter/X, that was the 18th anniversary of Kobe Bryant's 81 Points versus Toronto.

I didn't think they'd lose.  But fuckin' A, they did.  And it looked as though the Timberwolves disregarded the Hornets, saw that KAT was going off, remembered the Mamba anniversary, and fed him the ball so that he could reach Bryant's milestone.  What they didn't do was keep scoring to stay ahead of Charlotte, and in the back half of the Third Quarter, the Hornets took a one-Point lead.  They reestablished a 15-Point lead after three, but everything fucking fell apart for them in the Fourth.  They (especially Towns) threw up brick after brick.  Meanwhile, Charlotte got hot from deep whenever they didn't drive to a wide-open hoop that resulted from forcing Rudy Gobert away from the rim.  It was a slow-motion disaster that they couldn't avoid, collapsing Ryan Saunders-style by three.  Afterward, Head Coach Chris Finch called it "disgusting and immature basketball" (I think this is the second time he called his club's play "immature," and I am not going to disagree).

I kind of thought in the back of my mind that this hot start wouldn't last, and that their immature play, combined with the maturity of the likes of Denver and Phoenix, will eventually result in the Woofie Dogs floating down the Western Conference standings.  Well, it's starting to happen, sorta.  They bounced back from that humiliation with wins on the road over a bad Washington team and a not-good Brooklyn team, but went down to San Antonio Saturday and coughed up yet another lead in losing to the Spurs, 113-112.  So, as of press time, they are tied for first in the West with The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics, another squad that has found shocking early success but still find ways to lose to awful teams.  They lost by 14 at Detroit yesterday/Sunday, for God's sake.  But they have the benefit of actually being young.  With the trade for Gobert, they are still getting their chemistry down but don't have a lot of sand in the hourglass.  Meanwhile, the Nuggets and The Bastard Buffalo Braves are breathing down both their necks.

Speaking of the Thunder: They visit Oklahoma City tonight/Monday night in a late-January showdown.  Their four-Game roadtrip having concluded, they'll come home to face Dallas, Orlando and Houston.

#-3: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -5).  Yeah, they swept Minnesota State-Mankato over the weekend in a home-and-home, but yeah, I put them third.  Why?  Neither Win was impressive: They squeaked by the Mavericks Friday at Ridder, 4-3, and then on the next Night in Mankato the Mavs took them to Overtime before Peyton Hemp saved her team's ass.  I see this as MSU gaining on the Goofers program ... or the Goofers falling back from the elite, as first evidenced this season by the two-Game ass-kicking they took at the hands of a real blue blood, Ohio St.  I cannot in good conscience put this squad on top of the survey when they should have beaten the shit out of the Mavericks.  And so they are here.  Hey, St. Thomas is coming over the river for a two-Game series this weekend: Maybe you can curb-stomp them like you're supposed to.

#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -2).  Similarly, I couldn't in good conscience put the Gopher men icers above the Gopher women icers because they lost Friday at Michigan St., a program that appears to have righted itself this season, albeit by a 3-2 margin.  But I have to say that I impressed that they delivered a 5-1 rout of the Spartans in the Saturday tilt.  They remain in good shape to make the NCAAs, though it's not a lock.  They travel to Madison for a pair with Wisconsin, another program that is in the ascendancy this Year after being in the dumps for quite a while.

#-5: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -6).  Had a few chances to tie late at The Barn against Wisconsin but came up short, losing to the Badgers Tuesday, 61-59.  But they responded with what is arguably their best Win of the season, an 83-74 victory at Penn St. Saturday night where they went into the half down 45-31 but blitzed the Nittany Lions in the Second Half by a score of 52-29.  If you consider the Loss to Wisconsin a moral Victory, then you can say that this team has gotten better, both over the course of the season and compared to last Year.  Now, that and $2.50 might get you on the bus, but it's not nothing.

Hosting Northwestern Saturday afternoon.

#-6: Wild (Last Week: -4).  A 5-3 Win over Washington on Tuesday at home pushed their winning streak to three.  But then they shit the bed, choking on Third Period-leads and losing in regulation to Nashville and Anaheim.  Neither club is great.  And that both choke jobs also came at the X is a brutal reminder of how shitty this team is right now.  Worst of all, they will have this stench of loser for quite some time: The NHL is in the All-Star Break now, and the Mild won't return to action until the February 7.

#-7: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -3).  Didn't think I'd see this squad at the bottom of the survey, or any survey this season.  But this group had an awful screening Week, where they first dropped a three-Point decision at Wisconsin on Tuesday (the same Day their male counterparts lost to the Badgers at Williams), then blew an 11-Point Halftime lead at Illinois and lost by five after getting outscored in the Second Half, 45-29 (in a way doing the opposite of what their male counterparts did at Penn St. the Day previous).  This team had been climbing up the S-Curve, according to Charlie Creme, landing an 8-Seed in his Bracketology projection on Friday.  That rise will certainly stop and might reverse itself when he takes another look on Tuesday.

Meanwhile, they can reverse their slide Wednesday at home against Penn St.

Lazy Saturday? Yeah, Time To Take A Walk

I rarely use my day planner to write down a daily tasks list, but I did (for the third time this month, granted) wrote one for yesterday/Saturday.  A lot of stuff I had to do outside -- the bank to look at some stuff for my parents, then the library (two of them; the first one didn't have an old Consumer Reports I wanted to look at).  But then I noticed that it was quite warm for late January -- above freezing, no ice to slip on.  Add that while it was damp, it was comfortable to go outside, and hey, it was an overcast sky, something I totally love.

So, while I still haven't gone through my stuff and I guess I could have done my laundry, I decided, after eating Dairy Queen and before I headed out again to take advantage of a $3 Little Caesars pizza deal (dang, this place is basically handing out pizzas!), that I was going to take a walk in the park.  Moreover, I wasn't going to drive to the local park; I was going to park at home, then walk to the park.  I decided mid-walk that I was going to walk down all the way to the gas station to pick up cranberry juice in case the urge to drink a cosmopolitan hit me.

All told, I walked for about 50 minutes, even though I didn't hit 10,000 steps, unfortunately.  I tried to "breathe better while walking," and that will take some getting used to because I still don't quite understand it.  And I still have trouble living in the moment, hearing my footsteps and seeing how quite and peaceful and beautiful my surroundings are, because I'm thinking about, well, breathing and what I should do once I get home, etc.

But do I regret walking outside when it's above freezing in late January when I could be doing something else?  No.  Absolutely not.

New Motherboard, And It'll Take One Week

So, I called the guy late yesterday/Saturday afternoon, about an hour before he closed.  He said it was the motherboard.  Need to get a new one.  It'll set me back $300, and it'll take a week.

Went to the library yesterday/Saturday to research laptops in Consumer Reports.  For what is reliable, I would be spending around a grand, which might be a tack less than what I spent to buy the one I have.  But seeing that the operating system on my laptop is still being supported, I don't think I want to move on just yet, so spending about 30% of the original price of the lap on repairs seems worth it if it gives me, oh, at least a couple years of extra life and use.

So I approved.  But a week?  Now, I'll be so busy with work -- I'll be in The Fourth Department all week -- that I probably won't be able to pick it up until Saturday anyway.  Plus, I've accepted my Plan B, which is to come down to the computer room, fire up both the old and the new desktop, and blog post on the former while surfing the Internet on the latter.  I have come to rely on using my phone if I want to be on the Internet, but I feel kind of abandoned knowing I won't have my laptop to type up my blog post once a day.  Then again, there is a huge adjustment to which I grouse about, and then I adapt to it, and pretty soon I find that the setup I have to resort to now is workable.  But then I'll get my laptop back (hopefully), I'll find it weird I won't have to go downstairs anymore, and I'll eventually learn to use and love my laptop again.  I think I can endure for a week.

I Want To Improve! I Am Going To Get Better!!

So I have immediately brought my laptop in to get fixed.  I was going to go to a huge place down in St. Louis Park.  But after taking a quick look around Yelp (yeah, I know, but I am desperate), there was a recommended place very close to where I live.  I wasn't able to call the store because it apparently is just a cellphone and the mailbox was full (red flag?), but the good reviews and the proximity to home compelled me to drive over there to see if the place was open.  And it was.  And the guy (I'm guessing he's the owner) was there, and I dropped off the lap, and I was gone in about five minutes.  I am holding out the possibility that, if the problem is basic enough, I can get my laptop back before he closes his store today.  If so, I will develop a sense of self-pride for being proactive.  Yeah, I am thirsty for the use of my laptop.  But instead of sulking or doing nothing, I am doing something -- which, granted, will involve money and may involve hundreds of dollars if the problem is serious enough.

However, unlike with getting the car back, after which and from this point through now I am casting side-eye at my car because I'm scared as hell it'll throw up those damn indicator lights again, when I left my laptop with this guy, I felt optimism.  I think my lap will be fixed, and it will be as good as new.  I have no evidence to think I'm right to feel this way.  Maybe it's because there's no way I can drop as much money on this laptop fix as I did on the car fix (unless the worst-case scenario occurs and the laptop is gone for good ... which is why I should start looking for good laptops to replace this one even if I do get this one back).  But I feel good for some reason.  I trust this guy, whom I just met last night, to figure out why in the hell my lap won't function like it did up to last night.  And I feel like I have taken a positive step toward doing something good for myself.  Yes, it's just a laptop.

---

Meanwhile I am using Father's very old computer again to blog post this.  I wanted to do it on his new desktop, but I still can't get the goddamn keyboard and mouse to work.  I figured out how to get the on-screen keyboard on-screen, but there's no way I am going to type out everything I'm typing out here on a monitor.  So I'll risk getting my privacy breached just so I can type on a keyboard like I'm doing now.

Yeah, I need a laptop to use very, very soon.  But I think my life will get better!!!

And Now My Laptop Went To Shit On Me

I am typing this from Father's very, very old desktop, the one that still runs on Windows 7.  (My God, someone is going to be able to hack this computer and take all my information, won't they?)  My laptop froze just now, so I held down the power button and did a hard shutoff, and even though the keyboard lights come on, when I press in the power button, it doesn't turn on.

Fuck me.  I am totally fucked when it comes to backup.  I have my phone, but I can't blog on that.  (Thank God, also, that I was able to rescue my iPhone from what looked to be a very, very bad software update.)  I was going to use Father's new desktop, but for some goddamn reason I can't get the keyboard or the mouse to work.  This is so fucked up.

After shelling out two grand to get my car fixed, of course I will need to shell out more money to get my lap fixed -- or get a new laptop.  I just need a way to get on the Internet while my lap is in the shop, and this decade-old monitor with the gigantic text because Father is blind is my only hope.  This fucking sucks.

Going Through The Frozen Leftovers At A Breakneck Pace

Got my car back.  Yeah, it runs fine -- I guess.  It idled funny at a red light on my way home in a way that scared the bejeezus out of me.  Also, it never feels good to write out a check for four figures.  I won't get used to it until I become an actual adult and have mortgages and shit.  But I am not that grown up yet, so although I am glad to have this fucking ordeal behind me (assuming the mechanics know what they're doing and haven't fucked up my car for good), I am going to allow myself to be frightened and depressed over what I have had to fork over.

And yet, in a concession to being a grown-up, I should cut back on my spending as a way to make up for the money I dropped for my major engine overhaul.  Combine that with the over-the-air TV networks finally getting new programming up on their schedules, and there are no several days where I in fact look forward to going straight from home to work, change clothes, eat the leftovers my parents made and froze for me, and watch TV.  In particular I plan on doing just that on Thursdays because the Law & Order/Dick Wolf Television Universe has just started its new season(s).  I might make no-cash days out of Tuesdays and Wednesdays so long as there are no episodes of, respectively, Night Court and The Conners.

However, my plan of eating through my folks' stash for me while watching TV might be coming to a quick end.  I remember complaining not too long ago that there was so much food that was still frozen that I was scared my parents would come back a couple months from now and there still would be food left over.  Well, that ain't happening.  I don't exactly know how I did it, but I think I made a concerted effort to, on several days, eat two things from the freezer.  See, I categorize what my parents made for me into two groups, big things (pasta sauce, ribs, pork and chicken), and small things, basically sandwiches and buns Mother taught herself how to make.  A few days of eating one big thing and one small thing, and the stash in the freezer has gotten mighty meager.  There's now a lot of space in there because there are, like, half a dozen tubs of leftover food left.  I will run out of food waiting for me well before my folks come home.

That's all for the best.  But that means I will now have to go out and, well, buy things to eat.  Shopping for groceries is a lot less expensive than eating out.  But when there is little to no food at home, I am conditioned to go out to eat, and that costs a lot of coin.  No wonder, then, I am looking up hot dish recipes online.

I'm Scared, OK?!?!?!

I'm scared that the mechanic doesn't know what he's doing and my car isn't fixed and those fucking lights will come on a month from now like they went off a month after I brought it in the first fucking time.  I'm scared that the car will never be the same even if the timing chain was replaced perfectly.  I'm scared that the damn thing will overheat because the mechanic had an opportunity to replace the water pump and he didn't and so it springs a leak (still don't fucking get that -- you are doing open heart surgery on the car, you're down there, and the water pump can be just plucked off because you're plucking off everything  else down there, so why not fucking do it?!  I'll pay!!!) two months from now.  I'm scared that I won't be able to make up the two grand I have to shell out this morning in order to get my car back.

And most of all, I'm scared that I will now have to think about the future, and not only being able to afford getting a new car but learning how to buy one.  A new timing chain may be a new lease on life, but it also signals time ticking away on my car.  What am I going to do once this car gets unreliable?  And for all I know, it's unreliable now.

The repeated injuries to my car will continue.  I know changing tires is routine, but mine apparently are on their last legs (or treads, whatever), and I might have to get new ones in the next couple months.  Back into the shop my car goes.  It's a goddamn cripple at this point, isn't it?

The Clothes I Am Giving To Goodwill

• The green Joe Boxer thermal underwear top.  I bought this from the K-Mart that used to be close by before it closed.  God, the memories there when I was young.  Anyway, there are big holes in both armpits, the left elbow is pretty shredded, and the right elbow is starting to be.
• A patterned pillowcase, one with a series of concentric diamonds, each side of which is a different color from the other sides of its diamond but the same color as the side that is radiating out, if that makes any sense.  This is so old I remember Grandmother using it.  (Miss her.)  It has a hole at the closed end, so of course that end isn't closed anymore.
• Khaki-colored GAP khakis, loose boot fit, 29x30.  It fit me once, but no more.
• A brand of jeans from Outdoor Life, a brand I've never heard of, so my parents got me this when they went to, like K-Mart or Kohl's.  Regular fit, 32x30.  Also fit me once, but no more.
• My green thermal underwear pants from Duluth Trading Co.  The elastic is no longer elastic.
• Lee khakis, 32x30, the ones you don't iron.  Don't fit me anymore.  By the condition of the khakis, I wonder how many times I worn these.
• Blue and beige square-patterned shorts from Canyon River Blues.  The pockets in the back had Velcro to shut it.  I remember Mother and I going to the Sears in Brookdale right from work at The Store because she wanted to buy something, and she encouraged me to buy something, and I needed shorts, so I got these that came with its own belt.  I do not know where the belt is.  They were good, roomy, and in my opinion stylish shorts.  Unfortunately I got fat enough to where the button popped out.  Also, these shorts were so thin that there is a huge horizontal rip on the back right side, right around where the bottom of my ass would be.
• Black or dark navy Gap khaki shorts, relaxed fit.  Only says 31; guess there is no need for an inseam measurement when it comes to shorts.  No longer fit in it.  The button has popped loose and is literally hanging by a thread.
• Brown Dockers, D3 (?), classic fit, 30x30.  These are some professional-looking khakis.  Unfortunately, my belly outgrew it.
• Mustard yellow khakis from Hunt Club, another label I've never heard, which is more evidence that my parents bought it for me, even though the purple label on the inside of the waist gives the pants some panache.  Measures 32x30, but as I can see from the lack of a button, I have gotten too damn fat for this one as well.

Ten pieces of clothing, all of which I will be donating after work today, January 23, 2024.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Timberwolves (Last Week: 0).  A 2-1 screening Week.  Those Wins were by seven at scrappy Detroit on Wednesday and at Target Center the next Night (late next Night, in fact -- the contest started at 9 p.m.  I was offered a free ticket by a friend but I turned it down because it was so damn late ... well, that and I was depressed over the state of my car ... and the L&O's started their seasons that evening) vs. The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies by 15.  They maintain a one-Game lead over The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics for top spot in the West as of press time ... even though their only Loss was to OKC Saturday.  Because of that defeat, and because that defeat came at home, they are tops in this Week's WMNSS, but they are in negative numbers.

A burgeoning narrative I am looking at is the comparison in the two young talents leading both the Timberwolves and the Bastard Sonics.  I totally admit I blew it in thinking Anthony Edwards was going to be a bust.  Instead, he turned out to be an athletic freak with a showman's flair and the hunger to continue to learn and grow.  But there has been very little Most Valuable Player talk around him even though it's been the Wolves leading the West all this time and not the Thunder.  And yet you hear a lot of praise toward Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, who is leading bastard Seattle.  That guy's good (even though I never heard of him in college; he was one-and-done in Kentucky), and his (stolen) team was one miss at the buzzer away from winning the showdown I was at between these two teams (it was the one that was part of the In-Season Tournament).  But both teams are similar -- young upstarts out of nowhere leading The Western Conference -- and so I think it stands to reason that the talismans for both teams would be too, and thus would garner considerable attention.  And yet there are crickets for Ant's leadership, even though he does crazy shit like this: 

 

Just a thought to ponder as these two appear to be dueling through the rest of the Year.

Busy week for the Timberwolves.  Tonight/Monday night they host Charlotte (in a Game I can go to courtesy of my friend because there's no Monday Night Football anymore), then start a four-Game road trip with back-to-back Games versus Washington and Brooklyn Wednesday and Thursday, then San Antonio on Saturday.

#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -2).  This club is by no means anywhere near as good as last season's juggernaut (who ultimately choked in the title Game that would have secured the Twin Cities a championship so many sports fans here have been starving for, but that's neither here nor there).  But with a sweep at Mariucci of also-ran Ohio St. (by scores of 5-2 and 6-3), they've finally taken a sizable step into at least getting into this Year's NCAA Tournament (The Frozen Four of which, by the way, they will host since it's going to be at the Xcel Energy Center) by rising up to ninth in the PairWise.  They were down in the teens just before the Buckeyes series, and that is where the bubble always resides.  But if the U. can maintain up there, they'll be in, no doubt.

They get a chance to really burnish their bona fides in a weekend series at Michigan St., the leaders of the Big Ten right now.

#-3: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -1).  They got their asses kicked in Indiana Wednesday by 23, but they responded by routing Michigan St. Saturday at The Barn, 69-50.  With that being said, things are looking up, and possibly way up, for their tournament hopes.  Charlie Creme of ESPN.com puts out his Bracketology projections on Tuesdays and Fridays.  And Minnesota, which started the season not even in consideration, has floated into First (actually it should be called Last, but we won't get into that bullshit now) Four Out to Last Four In (aka the Play-In Games) to actually being in the actual field.  The Gophers are projected right now to be a 10-Seed -- and remember that this projection was put out Friday, before they demolished the Spartans the next Day.

And things could be looking even brighter for this squad's prospects.  Their two Games this screening Week are on the road, but both Wisconsin (Tuesday) and Illinois (Sunday) are not good, and road Wins matter are little more than victories at home in the eyes of the NCAA ... I think.  Maybe.

#-4: Wild (Last Week: -Infinity).  Well, I guess I like the fight these guys have in them after The Shittiest Week In Mild History I Can Remember.  It appears as though this is going to be a season where either this club kicks ass or gets their asses kicked, and the scores are going to be annihilations or blowouts.  It's definitely going to be high-scoring affairs -- blanking the Islanders at home, 5-0 on Monday, getting emasculated at Tampa Bay Thursday, 7-3, somehow upsetting Florida on the road the next night, 6-4, and then springing another surprise at The Bastard Hartford Whalers yesterday/Sunday afternoon, 5-2.  They're going to have to finish the season without Jared Spurgeon, who's done for the Year because of hip and back injuries that are too much to overcome.  With that being said, Kirill Kaprizov notched a Hat Trick in Carolina and has scored in each of the Wild's last ten tilts.  And not for nothing, Minnesota is six Points out of the last playoff spot in the West.  Yeah, I'm being a total stupid fanboy again.

This screening Week they're staying home: D. C. Tuesday, Nashville Thursday, Anaheim Saturday.

#-5: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -4).  Swept Bemidji St. in Bemidji over the weekend by 2-0 and 3-1 scores, but seriously, when don't they sweep the Beavers?  Actually, on second thought, I don't want to think of the day the U. don't sweep the Beavers.  The Wins over tomato cans like BSU are worthless.  No, the awful aftertaste of getting destroyed by top-ranked Ohio St. remains top of mind.  These Goofers are fourth in the PairWise, and it's a good thing the NCAA has expanded the women's hockey tournament.

A home-and-home with Minnesota State-Mankato this weekend: Here Friday, there Saturday.

#-6: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -3).  It's a bit unfair to see it's two steps forward and two steps back with this squad, but losing twice this screening Week and extended your losing streak to three Games forces you to reconsider the raised expectations you may have had.  Iowa isn't having a great season, yet they came to Williams on Monday and won by nine.  Michigan St., under Tom Izzo, is having a shockingly bad Year, yet they handled the Goofers by ten in East Lansing on Thursday.  At 3-4 in the B1G, there are still some lessons to be learned.

This Week -- hosting Wisconsin Tuesday, at Penn St. Saturday.

#-7: Gopher wrestling (Re-Entry!).  I'm afraid this is where the program is right now: They get manhandled at third-ranked Iowa on Monday, 22-9, then come home and lose to Nebraska Friday, 19-14.  Both schools appear to be really good this Year, and both probably better than the U.  But in seasons of yore the Goofer grapplers would dominate the Cornhuskers and stand toe-to-toe with the Hawkeyes.  The latter thought is a rumor now, and the former sentiment appears to be slipping away.  Irrelevance.

At Rutgers Saturday.

Still Don't Feel The Need To Jerk Off (As Much)

You know, in times like this when I'm anxious to the point I'm paralyzed as to what to do, I masturbate.  I did that just now, to a photo of *****e*, who took a photo of herself with her huge tits whipped out in an airplane bathroom (she lives in Miami now but is coming home for several days) and posted it on Twitter/X.  I still love bathroom selfies, especially airplane bathroom selfies, and since I haven't seen *****e* in years and probably won't ever see her again, it just, uh, came out of me.

But it's been a long, long time since I have relieved tension within myself by touching myself.  It doesn't occur to me to do so nowadays.  It's a host of things -- old age, the pandemic shutting off my constant exposure to breasts while I go to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition), and the "freeze" part of the "fight or flight or freeze" reflex just making me do nothing.  But I simply don't feel the, I guess, need to jerk off.  Don't get me wrong, I still have the urges, if you read my blog on a regular basis.  But my libido has gone way down, and instances where bad times like now would compel me to crank my pee-pee are getting fewer and farther between.

Vehicles, Man

So my anxiety level has gone up and down the past 24 hours.  It was real high when I woke up yesterday/Saturday afternoon because I had to return the rental, but I woke up early enough that I could both get my face shaved and go to Target after filling up the gas tank on the rental, then returning it.

The next thing was the big thing: Seeing if the minivan still works to my satisfaction.  Last time I used it was Wednesday, when, after dealing with the door ajar indicator light and body lights coming on on my way home from work, I opened the power side door and got extremely desperate trying to get it to completely close.  It didn't look as if the door was open from my vantage point of the front bay window.  But as soon as I hopped into the car, and shut the driver's-side door, the door ajar indicator light was on.  And when I turned on the car (and it turned on just fine), the "POWER DOOR" indicator light came on.  I'm shocked that there were no lights that burned out the battery between Wednesday and yesterday/Saturday afternoon.  Thankfully, it took only one try for the power slide door to open and then fully shut by itself.  The less cold temperature plus the sun probably had something to do with getting it to shut immediately and for good.

I'm paranoid about looking at the thermostat for the minivan, and my eyes darted to it about every five seconds.  But honestly, it was as smooth a ride this beaten down, quarter-century-old work van can be.  I drove it to my storage place and then to Chipotle to pick up lunch, and it didn't overheat whatsoever.  And the doors stayed locked ... well, until I drove into Chipotle.  For all I know that damn door ajar light will come on no matter the temperature, but so long as I can drive the car (and I can lock the doors once it's parked), I'm not sure the doors unlocking themselves is a huge enough deal to worry about.

---

Finally, it was time for me last/Saturday night to reserve a car for tomorrow/Monday through Wednesday.  I marveled at how cheap it was for a two-day rental -- only $82! -- but I didn't reserve because I didn't quite know how I felt about the minivan.  It drove fine, but in the end, I wanted the sensation, and security, of a new car until (hopefully) my car is returned to me.

It dawned on me when I went back on to the car rental that there is no guarantee that the price that I saw would be the same when I finally reserved.  And goddammit, they weren't the same -- they went up, dramatically, like an extra 85%.  If I reserved when I saw the prices (and I should have because I could cancel at any time), I would have had to pay only, I think, $82, a savings of about 27% of the price I paid for the rental last week.

After beating myself up for reserving too late, I thought about whether or not I should reserve it at all.  After all, the minivan works, and I still don't know exactly how much that fucking repair job is going to cost me.  I should save all the money I can now.  But ... in the end, I still can't quite trust that the minivan won't crap out on me on my way to or from work.  Also, more than saving up money, I wanted to feel, yet again, like I can drive without a care in the world, and so I need, or "need," to rent a car Monday through Wednesday just to feel normal again ... and to go to the Timberwolves Game (friend got me a ticket) and, probably, to go out for coffee Tuesday night, even though I would've planned to stay home if I didn't rent a car.  Finally, I found a way to defray the cost of renting it: The points I have saved up on my credit card.  I don't think I have ever tapped those points to redeem something, but I am going to use them this billing cycle ostensibly to pay for most of the rental.  That's the way I can justify renting a car again when the minivan probably will get me everywhere I need to go.

Mental note: As soon as I find a price for a rental care you like, I should reserve it.

I Don't Know If I Trust Him Now

I couldn't get myself to go to bed at a decent time last/Friday night because I was freaking myself out over whether or not getting the timing chain fixed, and fixed at the mechanic I brought my car to, was the right thing to do.

See, I've done my own research online -- yeah, yeah, so take this all with a mound of salt -- and I am seeing so much information that points me away from thinking that the reason my check engine light is on is because the timing chain and its attendant parts are wearing down.  Even more worrying (at least to me): What I have looked at, combined with what the mechanic keeps saying, has made me begin to doubt he knows what is going on with my vehicle.

Two things in particular are questions in my mind.  First, the mechanic is not only going to rip apart my engine to replace the timing chain (or have his employees do so), he told me he was going to give the car yet another oil change, one month after changing it when the indicator lights tripped on the first time.  He noted that the oil was black when he thinks it shouldn't be that soon after an oil change.  But I have read online a few people and sites who say that the oil is supposed to turn black that soon after an oil change because it is synthetic (and when he changed the oil around the holiday he said he put in synthetic oil) and the blackness comes from the oil sopping up all the impurities that are in the engine.  In other words, the oil turning black is a good thing, and an indicator that it is working.  And he wants to change it, an presumably charge me for another oil change.

The second source of doubt is simpler but more, well, shocking: He says he will replace the timing chain, but not the water pump.  I'm no mechanic, but I remember having timing belts changed on my old car twice -- with the amount of money I had to spend, I couldn't forget if I tried -- and I got pissed that they changed the water pumps too.  I now understand why they do that as a matter of routine: As long as the engine is undergoing such major repair, and as long as the mechanics are working in that area, you might as well change the water pump.  But he says he won't do it unless the water pump is leaking.  He says what the chain does and what the pump does are two separate issues.  Bullshit.  I keep researching and no one fucking says that.  They're totally dependent on each other.  That's an intrinsic relationship all combustion engines have.  Besides, switching it out now saves me money because mechanics -- either this one or some other one -- don't have to expend the labor of taking out my engine twice.  And at over 100,000 miles the water pump is going to leak.  I am scared as hell to see a red overheating light on my dashboard, and that is what this mechanic chooses to make me risk by not doing the conventional thing and just fucking replacing the pump.

I really don't like this.  I hate shelling out two grand already, and now this maverick mechanic wants to buck conventional wisdom and not repair things properly.  And, again, I'm not totally sure he knows what's wrong with my car.  But he has my car in his garage, and thus my balls in a sling.  All I've got is my wrath if he and his boys fuck this up, either by misdiagnosing the problem or screwing up the fix.

This shit is making me want to find a full-time job working from home.

I'll Miss You, Rental Car

As much as I had complained in a previous blog post about not wanting to use my rental car, I just did, down to my favorite late-night coffeeshop.  And I did it just because -- the stripper party I planned on going to apparently fell through, I watched the hockey Games on TV (thank goodness sports seem to coming back from cable and satellite to over-the-air), and I was bored.  I didn't have to go.  But finally, I gravitated to the fact that I already paid for use of this rental car, and I might as well use it to go somewhere.  So I did.  And I didn't do much while at the coffeeshop, but the ability to go where I want in the area was something I wanted to know I could still do.

And you know, the car ain't bad.  I still chuckle that I got a rental that says it needs service.  Also, it's a bit big for me, the parking brake automatically kicks in whenever I turn off the car so that I have to disengage it when I start driving it again, and I kept banging my head against the top of the car as I was getting in.  But I was getting used to the controls.  For example, I am liking the dial in the middle console that I used to switch radio stations.  I could even use it without taking off my glove, something that I instinctive take off whenever I am in my car.  And again, it's a car that works.

So I'll miss you, rental car.  And you know, I'm still so scared of my parents' minivan now that I think I'll pay for another rental car for another 48 hours next week until the car finally gets fixed.  For all I know, I'll get that same car.  Wouldn't bet against it!

Too Much Oil? Or Not Enough? Who's To Say?

In the wake of both my cars fucking up, I was scared as hell that, for some reason, the minivan was running out of oil.  It was making funny sounds.  Rattling, for example, as if it's starving for something, like oil.  And even though it wasn't on level ground, I was paranoid/fearful enough to check, and goddamn, on one side of the dipstick it looked absolutely full and on the other side it looked half empty.

So, what to do?  After thinking about it, I decided to put just a tad.  Did it just now -- half a quart, maybe.  I poured it into the minivan while it was on the driveway, which is also not level ground.  If it is starving for oil, I doubt half a quart is going to do much.  But I am scared shitless that I totally have read the dipstick wrong and I have in fact overfilled it.  I've heard very bad things about overfilling, just as I have been told more than once the consequences of ignoring checking your oil and not filling it up.

Right now, I just to say how fucking fed up I am about how I need to be Goldilocks when it comes to putting in oil for my car.  I have to be worried about not enough oil, but I also have to be worried about putting too much in.  And beyond all that, for the life of me, I can't fucking tell how much oil is in my engine on the basis of a dipstick.  One side of the stick tells me it's fine, the other tells me it's not.  People say it's easy to check.  Bullshit.  And I'm about to do damage to my parents' engine because of it.

Oh, well.  I'll see if I fucked up when I drive the van tomorrow.  That's assuming the power door on the side doesn't pop open as soon as I hit a fucking pothole or something.

Not In A Good Place Right Now

I don't know why, but my mood over the car and everything else has crashed over the evening.  I had a deep nap of about half an hour after I cut short my phone session with my therapist over the phone because I was profoundly drowsy.  Usually, naps help me feel better.  But whether it was the unfairness over shelling out two grand for a new timing chain or the asshole who beeped at me on my way home from Target and Kentucky Fried Chicken for not doing a U-turn fast enough for him (get off me, fucker, I was waiting for the car to take a right before me and I didn't want to hit him!!!), I feel stressed, overwhelmed, and tired.

One thought continues to stick out at me as I type this: I don't want to use the car that I have rented.  Don't know why.  It works just fine, it serves my needs, and like I said in my previous blog post, I rented the car because I wanted to just fucking drive a car that wasn't going to give me any goddamn problems, even if it was only for just 48 hours.  (Still think that getting a rental that says service is due for it is a stupid, ironic joke, but it drives fine.)  And at $114 (plus gas) for two days it seems like a steal to me, even though I might be totally fooling myself.  Still, I don't like it.  I guess I hate that I don't trust my parents' minivan right now, with it unlocking itself and the door open indicator light coming on while I drive.

Or, maybe I don't like that I have to wake up at 6 to go to work.  Anyway, there's a decent chance I might rent another car for two days next week to tide me over until I get the car back.  I can get a rental for less than $100.  Can you believe it?  I might get over both my reticence over renting the car and my bad mood.

In For A Penny, In For A Pound

Yep, just dropped $300 on a party.  I've done it at a strip club before, but don't remember ever spending that much at a house party.

But it was worth it to cum, and cum easily, because I am fucking hemorrhaging money right now, and I want to spend money on something I actually fucking enjoy.

Oh yeah -- and like I said in my last blog post, I am going to another stripper party tomorrow night, and I might spend the same amount of money, if not more!!  Fuck it all!!!

And This Is What I Feared The Most

OK, first off, the worst case scenario with what's wrong with my car has come true, at least if the mechanic is telling the truth: It's the goddamn motherfucking timing chain.  Well, maybe not that, but the other stuff surrounding the chain, like the actuator and the guides and stuff.  See, I was told that a timing chain is forever.  But apparently, because I was a bit late and lax in keeping up with my oil changes, the shit surrounding the timing chain started to wear out, and that threw the chain out of whack, and that's why the check engine light came on.  And it goes to the point of doing major car repair such as that that if there is one thing wrong down there, they might as well replace everything because it's in such a tough and important spot.  So the chain might be good, or the tensioner, or the belts, or the water pump.  You're just saying fuck it, we're changing it all.  

Well, at least I hope that's what the mechanic is going to do.  If I am going to sink two grand into this -- oh yeah, that's how much he's charging me -- he might as well do it all.  I am in no way happy about forking over that much goddamn money, don't get me wrong.  But I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, and so I am thinking that the first time all those lights came on, he was hoping it was the easier, cheaper fix of an oil change to reestablish oil pressure.  That didn't work, so it had to be the Armageddon scenario.  Yeah, the worst case scenario turned out to be the problem (again assuming that the mechanic both knows what he's doing and is being honest with me), but I don't think I would want to come to a dealership with this same problem and be immediately told it'll cost, oh, $2,500 to replace everything when I would suspect that he's ripping me off.

---

Meanwhile, I have been using my parents' minivan since Tuesday.  On Saturday, while driving to the library, the doors unlocked themselves and I saw the door ajar light, which is red (meaning "stop fucking driving and pull the fuck over now") blink on.  I tried locking the doors again, but pretty soon they unlocked again.

I could still drive, however, and while I am getting very, very paranoid that something else is going on with the van, I drove it to and from work with little incident.  On the way home last night, however, as the door ajar light came back on, the door lights you see when the doors are open flickered on and off.  I could still drive, but they were so fucking annoying that, when I got home, I not only opened the passenger door but the heretofore malfunctioning passenger-side slide door to make sure that indicator light didn't come on because they somehow had knocked ajar.

Big, big mistake.  I closed the passenger passenger door just fine.  But the passenger-side slide door kept closing and then automatically opening.  I couldn't get that goddamn thing to shut for five or ten minutes, and with the cold and with how my fucking day was going, it felt like I was trying to shut that door all night.  I was freaking the fuck out.  I cannot leave that door open; not only could someone just go in and try to hotwire the van, the door lights automatically come on when they're open, and if they stay on because the door is open all night, the battery will burn out.

I don't know how it happened, but I finally got the fucking door to close for good.  Maybe it needed warming up, in which case keeping that door closed for good will be a tad easier.  But that slide door has become a more important issue for me than the fact that the doors now do not stay locked.  If the less cold temperatures don't alleviate that problem -- and I'm thinking that the rough ride knocked some wires loose -- then I don't know what the hell to do.  In the meantime, I've been keeping an eye outside on the van to make sure the lights inside stay off.  It would just be my luck right now that a gust of wind or a final relinquishing of a lock pushes that goddamn slide door open.

---

I thought it was more than a luxury for me to be able to use two cars.  I hold the ability to move around town to be sacred, and so I wouldn't miss a step if one car needs to be serviced because I would have the other car.  But the 1-2 punch I suffered yesterday was my nightmare come true: That both of my cars would be broken at the same goddamn time.  One of them will be fixed next week -- when, who knows?  And now the doors of the backup vehicle may just pop open on the highway.

Tonight (meaning Wednesday evening) I reserved a rental car from the place just down the block for two days.  Even though I will be blowing a fucking hole in my checking account, I have been invited to not one but two stripper parties, today and tomorrow, and because my life has been so shitty lately, I am going to go to both and have fun, money be damned.  I wanted to make sure I was able to drive to both parties, and that's why I got the rental.  But I think there's something more important to me than that: With me being in control of two cars that don't work properly, I really, really want the feeling of being in a car that works just fine.  I don't want to look down and have my heart skip a beat because I see an amber indicator light go on.  I don't want to be frightened as hell that the slide door comes open while I'm driving 65 miles per hour (and by the way, that happened while I was driving the minivan either to or from the airport one night many years ago; that goddamn door slipped open, there was a huge buzzing noise as it stayed open, and I was hoping like crazy that I could keep it and myself together until I got home, which I did, thank Buddha).  I want a new car, basically, and I am shelling out $230 for that new car feel for 48 hours.

On Saturday, after I return the rental, I will hopefully be able to use the van to go out to the gym to exercise.  I can live with the doors unlocking themselves on the road; they lock and stay lock (at least I think) once I turn the engine off.  But if any door comes open, I will have no choice but to rent a car again.  Shit, I might have to if I'm not going to get my car back until Wednesday or Thursday.

---

Yesterday/Wednesday was a bad day.  A really bad day.  I am stressed and overwhelmed and tired and scared.  I want this nightmare to end.

I should look at the driveway to see if the minivan door is staying closed.

Car = Burden

My day yesterday/Tuesday kind of began Monday night, when my boss texted all of us warning us that because our shipment of work was both late and meager (I'm guessing it's partly because of the weather down South and partly because yesterday/Tuesday was a federal holiday), there wasn't going to be much work.  Well, upon that note, everyone in most of the departments I work in instantly asked for time off.  And that set up the irony that I was going from one department to the next, doing the late and meager work by myself because no one else showed up.  I was able to cobble together a full day because most of my co-workers chose not to show up.

I'm kind of jealous.  I was going to ask if I could take the day off, but the only other person who could do The Fourth Department (where I was supposed to work all day yesterday/Tuesday) got first dibs.  Nevertheless, I was initially led to believe that, because some people theoretically were going to work, I would be working at The Fourth Department only for a few hours.  Heck, I thought I would be there for only two or so.  That would have allowed me to drive the car in to the shop in the afternoon with a very outside chance (if the Check Engine light was going to be fixed easily) that I could pick it up the same day.  Still, I was able to leave after eight hours and get the car on to the mechanic's lot before the owner closed up shop.  My original plan was to get it there after hours, but I was glad I could physically hand over the key and get on the bus before it got too dark outside.

Before, when I dropped off my car because it had problems, I would feel a great weight lifted off my chest.  It isn't my problem now; the problem is getting fixed, and it'll be all new once the mechanic solves the issue.  I don't feel that's the case right now.  I don't quite know why.  A lot of it probably has to do with me bringing in the car for the same goddamn issue.  It might be my general mood; it's cold as hell outside (even though the Wind Chill Warning lifted at noon), and those four indicators that lit up in yellow always give me a heart attack when my eyes glance at them while I'm driving.  I also fear that solving the problem this time around will be deeper than just getting an oil change.  It might be something more involved, like wars, or a sensor, or a camshaft, or all three, who knows.  That will mean a costlier repair.  And while I can afford it (or think I can afford it, depending on how expensive it is), I had to look at both my checking account and stock portfolio online just in case a financial bomb is dropped on me.  Finally, I hope that the mechanic solves the issue for good this time around, because if he doesn't, I'll have to start looking around again.

Beyond that, I don't know how much I can trust my car now.  I've driven this car for about seven years.  And while I have had the starter changed and the car towed a few times, this feels like the first time it has gone through a serious problem that is indicative of its old age.  I also looked at used cars last night.  I don't know the first thing about purchasing a car, so I doubt I'm buying one anytime soon, but dammit, I have to start thinking about it.

Apparently, The Check Engine Light Being On Is Not A Problem To Some People

I've started to talk to people about the plight with my car.  It's partly to vent, but deep down inside, I think I am reaching out so that other people can relate, and so I won't feel so alone, which I feel right now.

My co-worker told me that she has driven with both her check engine and low tire pressure light for a couple years now.  A couple years??  She says she knows the problem is with the sensors and that the warning lights aren't indicative of anything worse.  But really, two years??  I was driving with all four of those damn indicators on yesterday and I still had a heart attack whenever I saw them!

I guess some people get used to it.  Which brings up a story I may or may not have shared here on Wailing And Failing already.  I was dropping off my car for some damn thing at The Mechanic Around The Corner.  They had loaners, but since this was an independent shop the loaner car was a beat-up sedan.  But hey, it gets me around, so who cares.  I'm driving and looking at the dashboard.  Everything looked normal ... until, I think, I saw a yellow dot.  That's weird.  I moved my head around while driving for some reason and I saw an extension of that yellow dot.  And that's when I put the car in park and craned my head off to the side, right around where I would be able to lean over and look at the dash if I were in the passenger seat.  And there I saw the check engine light on on this loaner.  It was on the whole time.  However, the mechanics put black tape over the dashboard so that anyone who was driving it would most likely not see it and freak out.

In a way, that's absolute genius.  It speaks to how they most likely think the car would operate just fine with the Check Engine light on (and it did, by the way) while also understanding that other people wouldn't see it quite that way.  And it's apparent that my co-worker is totally at peace with hers being on in her car.  Still astounds me, but maybe other people just drive with that on.  Could there be tens of thousands of drivers just driving with that amber light on in their cars?  Hundreds of thousands?  Millions?  If so, are they neglecting their cars, or do they know better not to overreact?

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Timberwolves (Last Week: -2).  A 3-1 Week.  Lost in Overtime at Boston, but took care of Orlando (on the road) and Portland and The Bastard Buffalo Braves/San Diego Clippers (at home).  That last Game vs. the Clips was kind of dicey, but they managed to stave them off by a 109-105 score.  That keeps them up on The Bastard Seattle SuperSonics for best record in the West, albeit by half a Game.  This team continues to amaze us and, recklessly, makes us wonder what they can do in the playoffs.  A championship -- egad, am I still saying that could happen with the Timberwolves?? -- is still a fantasy for now, but they keep the top spot in the WMNSS.

This Week: At Detroit, then home to The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies and said Bastard Sonics.  I was offered a ticket by my friend to the Game versus Memphis, but that Game starts at 9.  Really, 9 p.m. local time?  I don't think a Game should start any later than 8:30 p.m.  If I were younger, that would not be a deterrent, but because of principle (as well as needing to get up to work in the morning), my old ass had to decline.  Damn, TV can just say they can play that late?!  Shit. ...

#-1: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -5).  This is the achievement I expected out of this club with new Head Coach Dawn Plitzuweit.  They swept both matchups they had this screening Week, routing Michigan in Ann Arbor Tuesday evening, then coming home and barely squeaking by Nebraska yesterday/Sunday afternoon, 62-58, courtesy of a very late Three from Amaya Battle.

That puts this team at 3-2 in the B1G and 13-3 overall.  More importantly, Charlie Creme of ESPN.com, in his latest Bracketology (which was run on the 12th), had the Golden Gophers in the Play-In.  In other words, this team isn't in the "real" tournament -- yet.  It is for this reason alone that I have these players behind the Wolves for the top spot in the survey and not above negative numbers.  That might, and maybe should, change now that they've racked up two Wins.  And they might just be getting started: They're at Indiana Wednesday night and host Michigan St. Saturday afternoon.

#-2: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -4).  This is an instance where the Monday-Sunday screening Week format for 2024 helps a local squad.  The Gopher men's hockey club is able to cut off their Loss to Colorado College on the 7th and get three Wins instead, a payback 6-2 victory over the Tigers on Monday and a sweep of Robert Morris (in their final non-conference series of the season) over the weekend, all at home.  Unfortunately, according to the latest PairWise, the U. ranks 12th, dangerously on the bubble.  They need to rack up some Wins soon.  They host Ohio St. for a pair this weekend.

#-3: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: 0).  In their only Game this Week, they lost at Indiana by 12, but hey, what are you gonna do?  They are markedly improved from the previous two iterations, and Ben Johnson is doing a good (maybe not excellent) job of keeping in-state talent at the U.

This Week they host Iowa and visit Michigan St.  These two, believe it or not, are winnable Games.

#-4: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1).  I cannot recall another regular season series that turned out to be such a humiliating disaster for the Gopher women icers than this past weekend where top-ranked Ohio St. came into Ridder Arena and didn't just sweep the Goofers but outright dehumanized them.  They lost by scores of 7-0 and 6-1.  I don't think that program has ever lost a two-Game series at home by a combined 13-1 ever.  And this is Minnesota we're talking about here.  They're the first program to ever build a hockey arena just for its women's hockey program.  And the Buckeyes just waltzed in here and took it over.

This is sad but true: Minnesota is no longer one of the leading blue bloods in top-flight women's college hockey.  It's Wisconsin and Ohio St. (led by Nadine Muzerall, a U. alum, by the way), and then there's everyone else.  This weekend proved that Minnesota is no longer in the inner circle, and I think that's a goddamn embarrassment.  (Hey, can Mark Coyle pony up enough money to bring her here?)

They're at Bemidji St. for two, but I don't know why I'm covering this squad because they're not fucking going anywhere this Year, or any other Year, for that matter.

#-Infinity: Wild (Last Week: -3).  It is exceedingly rare that I give out an in-season -Infinity, but motherfucking goddamn, the Mild certainly deserved it after the shit performance they pulled this screening Week.  They lost every single fucking contest this Week, all four of them, and that's bad enough.  But they also lost both ends of a home-and-home to The Bastard North Stars, and I fucking hate that we act like such goddamn cucks to The That Was Stolen From Us.  WHERE'S YOUR FUCKING PRICE, ASSHOLES?!?!?!  (And I say that not only to the Mild players but also to the Mild fanbase.)  They then proceeded to lose in Overtime to Philadelphia and then got fucking mauled by The Bastard Winnipeg Jets (hey, are they leaving Phoenix or what?) by fuckin' 6-0.  And those last two Losses were at home!!!

These guys weren't too far away from a playoff spot, believe it or not.  Now they're eight Points behind, and by the way they played this screening Week, they don't deserve it.  Yeah-yeah-yeah, Parise & Suter, and all the injuries, blah-blah-blah; the bottom line is that there is very, very little pride being exerted by most members of this godforsaken squad.  I'll go further than that: I totally believe that this passivity is organization-wide and it's because they embrace the name of the Wild and don't give two shits about the history of the North Stars.  They bring back the name and fight for its logo and colors (yeah, they use North Stars colors, but they still plaster that fucking shit-ass creature logo with it) and history, and they wouldn't go through shit like they just did.  Man, fuck this organization.

Four more tilts this Week -- home to the Islanders then away to both Florida clubs and The Bastard Hartford Whalers.  Great; four more Losses to pile on.  Might as well tank, right, boys?

The Snowstorm That Wasn't

So there was supposed to be the first snowstorm of the season on Friday.  It's been unseasonably warm and dry so far; we may have had a couple clippers drop up to two inches a couple times, but that's it.  It's also been way above average ... until now.

Winter is supposed to have finally come over the weekend, starting with a storm that was going to dump snow.  At first it was 1-3", then 3-5", then 4-9".  Because of the increasing snowfall projections, I scuttled my dream of going out to a speakeasy Friday and decided to stay close to home.

The snow was supposed to start in the afternoon, but it didn't.  There were flurries coming home from work Friday evening, and I thought they would worsen, but it didn't.  And then I saw that the projections of snow radically changed -- maybe 1-3", maybe.  And once it was all over yesterday/Saturday morning, we got maybe a dusting.

From up to nine inches to basically nothing?  This explainer/confession from Minnesota Public Radio Weather explains what happened, or didn't happen.  TL;DR, meteorologists did not see that a rush of dry air would in fact drive through and settle over the Twin Cities.  They all wildly overestimated the dew point of the air over MSP -- 16 degrees when it turned out to be 0.  And with no moisture in the air, there was no ability for any precipitation to fall.

I am one of those people who couldn't give less of a damn if there wasn't a blizzard.  I hate the snow -- driving in it, shoveling or plowing it, dealing with it.  I have enough crap I have to deal with in my life.  And I remember we got hit with a lot of snow last winter.  Much of it fell after Christmas, and I will accept snow on Christmas only because of the nostalgic tableau of a White Christmas.  Dealing with a foot of snow in March?  To hell with that.  So I disagree with snow lovers and, more importantly, people who get upset with weather forecasters who get forecasts wrong, especially when bad things don't happen.  We didn't get socked with half a foot of snow and you're angry?!  What the hell is wrong with you?!

Now the cold ... I'll take the cold over the snow, but that doesn't mean I like it.  And the forecast for bone-chilling temperatures is true.  That's bad for me, because I'm now thinking I should bring my car back to the mechanic again, and that means I need to drop off my car and take the bus back, and that means I need to wait out in the cold.  But hey, at least I don't have to deal with snow!

... And Now They're Back!!!

Yeah, it was cold last/Saturday night, but I wanted to work on my receipts at a place out of the house.  More importantly to me, I didn't want to be afraid of the cold.  I want to do what I want despite the weather ... and the car.

But the goddamn indicator lights are back on.  They didn't appear on the drive down to South Minneapolis (even though the car seemed to be driving funny, but that could be the cold or that could just be me being paranoid), but they showed up when I started my car on the way back.  It cannot, cannot, be the oil level or pressure.  It can't be that bad after just one fuckin' month, can it?  I hope to Buddha it's not something else.  What I will hope is that ... well, first that the car won't crap out on me.  Then I will hope that the indicator lights switch off miraculously like they did on my way to work on Friday.  I am hoping that these lights are now on just because of bad sensors.  If they are triggered by the cold, maybe they will stay off once the Wind Chill Warning in the area lifts Tuesday afternoon.  If not ... shit, I might tell the mechanic, or I might just fucking drive it with those damn things on anyway.  It's driving fine enough, I guess, or maybe I just don't care anymore.

Slept through the first NFL playoff Game of the Year.  Didn't think I was as tired as I was.  Woke up around 9, which I think gave me a five-hour sleep.  Did some errands through the cold outside to the library and the bank, got Subway, went home, ate the sub, shoveled, went out to get my hair cut, throw the trash out and gas up the minivan.  Went back home, showered ... and that's when the fatigue set in.  The Game was about to start and the Texas A&M-Kentucky men's basketball Game was going to Overtime, but I put the phone down, turned the TV into Eco Mode (where I turn off the screen but could still hear the audio through NBC -- I basically turned my TV into a radio), and fell asleep.

And I woke up with two Minutes remaining in the Game and The Texans up on The Browns, 45-17.  Hey, the Game going on right now, Miami-Kansas City, is on Peacock (or, as I like to call it, The 'Cock), so I'm not going to be able to watch that, either, so what's another postseason Game to miss?  And besides, it was a blowout, so I didn't miss much.

... And Now They're Gone!!!

The goddamndest thing.  So I was in total "fuck it" mode, and I was going to drive my car, with any and all indicator lights on, to work and back.  I would have to make time to bring it into the shop at some point, and so I was mentally preparing to ask my boss if I can come in late a couple days next week while those guys figure out why in the hell they made an oil change and those fucking lights still came on.

So yesterday/Friday morning I turn the car on and let it warm up while I scrape the snow and ice off the minivan in preparation for using that today/Saturday.  I get in and only three of the four that popped up both the night before and three weeks ago were on.  Specifically, the tire pressure, vehicle stability control and power steering lights came back on, but the check engine light stayed off.  OK.  Still in "fuck it" mode, I went to Caribou for the mocha and oatmeal I needed to get through my day.  Went inside, went back out, turned on the car again ... and all of the remaining lights stayed off once the car started.  And they have all been off since.

Phew ... I think.  I guess there's always a chance they can come back on, and the pessimist I am, I am half-heartedly expecting it as I drive the car through this weekend when the coldest weather of the year (it may not get above 0 Sunday and Monday) settles in.  But this spares a trip to the mechanic, at least for now.  This always brings up a question of whether those lights came on three weeks ago because of bad oil pressure and/or level, or if they came on because of something that has nothing to do with the operation of the car and more to do with the sensors for the warning lights.  I refuse to believe that the oil has gotten so bad over the course of three weeks that the car has to be brought in again.  Then again, unlike Thursday and yesterday, I turned on the car a few times three weeks ago and those four damn lights came up every single time.  Maybe the oil did need to be changed.  Or, maybe, there is some middle ground as to the reason those lights were thrown on -- that while maybe the oil needed closer monitoring, all the lecturing by the mechanic that I was totally riding the car too hard and stuff was a bit overblown when the sensors may act funny upon a downturn in temperature.  (I remember that, while this winter up till now has been very warm, the codes came on three weeks ago on a day the temperature plummeted into the teens.  I think it was in the teens Thursday evening when the codes came back on; it has been around that temp and colder since, and the warning lights are now off.)

I have plans to go out tonight, in the extreme cold, to a coffeeshop to try some Palestinian food, have some coffee and cake, and work on my receipts.  I will do so using my car which may or may not throw up codes again today.  Let's hope not.

Goddamn Warning Lights Came Up On My Car Again ...

... and with the storm coming and the temperatures dropping right after it (although it's pretty cold now, and in fact I now think the cold temps are the reason those indicators are back on), I don't know if I even have the fucking time to deal with it.  Besides, it drove home just fine.  So fuck it, I'll bring it back to the mechanic (who, by the way, thought it was the oil level and/or pressure) when I do have the time.  And the energy.  Which I don't have right now because everything is fucking falling apart right now.

I have self-imposed a rule that I cannot blog post no sooner than eight hours apart.  I want my most recent blog post to have some time in the spotlight, so to speak.  But I want to go to bed now while making sure I have at least the blog post for today in the can, so I just want to say that I have spent the past half-hour trying to add another Blogger blog on my "Reading List" on my homepage and I don't think I did it, and I don't know how in the hell I can add it.  In that sense, Blogger is not so user-friendly, dang it.

Thirty-Four Years Ago Tonight, I Discovered I Had Hair Around My Dick

I have wanted to blog post about this for so long, but I only wanted to do so on the anniversary, and every time it rolled around, I forgot.  I forgot late last night when I spontaneously decided to blog post about how I'm years behind balancing my checkbook.  Well, it's time to talk about it now.

So yeah, January 10, 1990 ... I remember sitting on the toilet, either going #1 or #2, and scratching my groin.  Naturally I looked down ... and, by God, I saw hairs surrounding my dick.  I was only 13 at the time, and I remember being absolutely terrified at the changes to my body.  I think I was beginning to get obsessed with hairs underneath my arms.  I was really frightened by all the hairs that were starting to appear on my legs, and I spent many a time plucking them out.  My trichotillomania was a bid to stop my body from rebelling against me.  I had heard of this concept called "adolescence" as soon as I started 7th grade, but I didn't pay any attention to sex ed class at school, so I learned about what was about to happen to me through friends and classmates.  And it scared the shit out of me.  So I vainly hoped to remain looking like the same person I have gotten used to by plucking the fuck out of myself.

But the hair around my cock?  Don't know what I could do about that.  It's not as if I could pluck all those hairs down there; it'd hurt like hell.  I don't know if I saw any dick fur in any of the porn I saw up to that point, but I heard about pubes before I got them myself.  No, I was not happy, nor proud that I was "becoming a man."  It was the most glaring sign yet that my body was transforming, and in ways that metaphorically dropped me to my knees in fear and sadness and helplessness.  It was already a hopeless task to pluck all the hairs on my legs and in my pits.  I just knew, once I felt my hair down there, that it was game over for me.

You know, my body is changing in ways I don't understand now, too, just in a different way.  Well, I understand why it's changing now -- I'm getting older and I'm not totally watching my diet.  That's why my belly has been getting bigger and bigger over the course of the past two decades, and why pants that used to fit me just fine I am now straining to suck my gut in to, then fearing that the button will pop out and fly across the room.  (That's happened once or twice to me already.)  But I am not confused about what is happening to me now like I was then.  Just resigned.

---

By the way, I am absolutely certain that in prime time that night, I was watching an episode of Quantum Leap (The Original Series staring Scott Bakula, not the revival that's on right now of which I have seen  only a minute) that mirrored my "discovery" later that night.  Bakula leaped into the body of a mother whose son is running away because he didn't know what his body was doing -- maybe.  In one scene, Bakula was captured by a group of random men, and one of them tore open the front of "his" dress.  I'm sure Bakula got out of it without getting assaulted.  Anyway, the theme of changing and sexualizing bodies became apt for me that evening when I relieved myself in the bathroom.  And it hit me like a ton of bricks, and I have never, ever been the same ever, ever again.

Forever Behind On Balancing My Checkbook

I have a day planner, still.  In the pouch of the front cover, I put in all the ATM receipts I get, withdrawals and deposits, out of my personal account.  I keep them there because, I promise myself, I will mark them down in my register.

I vow that even though I haven't balanced my checkbook in ... well, the last time I did it, I was in St. Louis, specifically at a 24-hour coffeeshop.  I was already way, way, way behind in marking up my register, to the point where I felt I needed to a vacation -- to physically leave Minnesota -- in order to have the headspace and devote the time to finally get down to the business of catching up on my balancing.  And it was stupid difficult.  I had mounds of ATM slips that piled up.  Some of them were so old that the ink had already faded out the dates and amounts.  Moreover, I threw in so many registers that it took a little bit of time to figure out in what chronological order the registers should be in.  I think I got myself situated to the point where I could finally grab the oldest ATM slip, write it down in the register I should have been using at that point, and keep going until either I ran out of registers or my hand gave out.  I think the former happened, but I'm glad I did as much as I could because I was at the coffeeshop until dawn started to break.

That is not to say, however, that I got caught up.  No way in hell was I caught up.  I had months and possibly a couple years that I had to do when I stopped.  And that late night/morning in St. Louis was at least six years ago.  I do not believe I have not touched the plastic bag in which I threw all those ATM slips and registers since that day.  I haven't really added onto it until, well, just now, when I finally got around to taking out all the ATM slips I piled into the front pouch of my Franklin Quest and slid it in the back of the pile of slips already in the plastic bag, and hopefully in chronological order.

The earliest slip from the pouch was from 2020.  So yeah, I am at least half a decade behind in balancing my checkbook.  The damn bag is bursting at the seams.  And there is no way in heck that I will have an accurate running total by the time I get done -- if I ever get done.  I think I remember one time when I had fully caught up from months and months of being behind where the running total I wound up with on the register was totally off from the current amount in my checking account and I said to heck with it, made up the difference, and wrote down something to the effect of, "Discrepancy" or something.

I know I will have to do it again, if only to make up for all the direct deposits for which I don't have an ATM receipt.  With it being almost definitely inaccurate after years and years of neglect, does it make sense to even start?  And by Buddha, I still say to myself, Yes, I will get around to it.  That's why I still have that plastic bag ... which, after I added all the latest ATM slips, I rested back on my desk, where it will probably stay, undisturbed, for a long, long time.

Wanted to watch the top-flight college football national championship, so I went downtown and watched at the place my fellow alumni watch our Games.  And these Games are long, so I first ate nachos and drank a beer, then, about 90 minutes later, ate a sloppy joe with fries and a Pepsi.  Finishing up the fries was a chore, and I totally regret it now because I feel it in my gut.

Damn me and my choices.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

A reminder that for 2024, the WMNSS will be published Mondays.  This first survey of 2024 encompasses Games from Dec. 31, 2023 to Jan. 7, 2024.

Also, in regards to the new Professional Women's Hockey Association team ... uh, the Minnesota ... no, I'm not going to rank them here.  Not because I look down upon women's hockey.  I don't.  If you will recall, I ranked the Whitecaps when the Premier Hockey Federation was around.  But that team and the PHF are not around anymore, bought out and chloroformed when the stakeholders of that scrappy, pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps league sold out to the Professional Women's Hockey Players Association, a group of the best players in women's hockey who indeed looked down upon the PHF and would not come near playing for it -- until they found some venture capitalists (Billie Jean King being one of them) and just bought the whole thing.

I know that the X got 13,000+ fans to watch the home opener of the home team as they (well, Grace Zumwinkle got a Hat Trick) shut out Montreal, 3-0.  I just wonder if those fans really thought, "Wow!  Finally there's a league for women's pro hockey!!  How come no one ever thought of this before???"  I think a lot of them didn't know there was a fucking league for pro women's hockey just last fucking Year.  The PHF tried to do the right thing, fending out for themselves, and while they did get support, all I saw at the X were a bunch of fly-by-night ignoramuses who couldn't do the fucking research and realize there had been a goddamn in Minnesota for years now.  And the PWHA doesn't give two shits about the history they bought up, part and parcel, because they want something "new" and "to call their own."  And so they're not going to be called the Whitecaps, even though they bought the name and can and should use the brand because of the two decades of equity that comes from people who actually came and watched the 'Caps at Ridder Arena or TRIA Rink or The Richfield Ice Arena.

I hate all of this.  I hate how all of this fucking went down, and I hate how the history of pro women's hockey in The State Of Hockey is actively being both erased and ignored.  There is too much of an ick factor for me to support, let alone rank, this Astroturf league and bandwagon fan base.  I might have to change my mind, of course; Lord knows I have covered teams in the WMNSS when I hate them with a passion.  But I don't have to talk about them now.  And I won't.

#0: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -1).  You know, maybe Ben Johnson has finally turned the corner after all!  A program picked to finish dead last in the B1G just won both their Games, both conference showdowns, this past screening Week, something I didn't think Johnson had in him.  They went to Ann Arbor and eked out a 73-71 Win over reeling Michigan (whose Head Coach, Juwan Howard, might be fired for continually trying to hit people) on Thursday and then came home and eked out a 65-62 win over another once-proud program, Maryland, last/Sunday night.  (These ballers prevented a #MinnesotaIsLoservilleUSA as the Vikings and Timberwolves lost last/Sunday night.)  They've won seven in a row.  Now this is a long season, and I still don't expect these guys to make The Big Dance.  But right now every stakeholder with this team is feeling really good, and so I am riding that good feeling to the top spot in this Week's WMNSS and, on top of that, above negative numbers.

Only one Game this screening Week: At Indiana Friday evening.  The Hoosiers are yet another once-proud program that has fallen on black days.  The Gophers can win this one, too.

#-1: Gopher women's hockey (Re-Entry!).  Hmmm, UConn ... that's not a club you see around these parts a whole lot.  Anyway, the U. swept them this past weekend at Ridder Arena by 5-3 and 3-1 scores.  But this weekend brings one of the only foes this program needs to worry about: Ohio St. comes to two for two this weekend.

#-2: Timberwolves (Last Week: 0).  After a dream start, the Timberwolves are facing their first rough patch of the season.  They went 1-3 this Week, with only a victory at Houston the only bright spot.  Hey, championship teams go through swoons in an 82-Game season all the time, so I'm not going to sweat it.  It's just that I'm a Minnesota sports fan and we're conditioned to expect the worst.

This Week's a busy one -- at Orlando and league-leading Boston before home tilts vs. Portland and The Bastard Buffalo Braves/San Diego Clippers.

#-3: Wild (Last Week: -3).  A bad, bad 1-3 screening Week which started with The Bastard Atlanta Thrashers completing a home-and-home sweep of the Mild on New Year's Eve Afternoon and ended with miraculous 4-3, come-from-behind Win over a driftless organization, Columbus.  I am giving myself false confidence when I note that this injury-riddled, cap-strapped squad is somehow only three Points off a playoff birth (even though five teams stand in front of them).  Change back to The North Stars; their fortunes will improve immensely.

Oh, looky, The Team That Was Stolen From Us v.2.0 comes to town tonight/Monday night.  We return the favor in Big D Wednesday.  The Mild then come home for back-to-back contests versus Philadelphia and The Bastard Winnipeg Jets (hey, are they buying land in Phoenix or moving or what?).

#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Re-Entry!).  I don't think I've seen this squad play non-conference opponents in back-to-back series in January.  I don't mind it; I just wished they would win.  Colorado College, who are ranked 20th but haven't seemed to have been ranked since I remember them way back when I was a kid, beat the Gophs last/Sunday evening in the start of their two-Game series -- they're playing a Sunday-Monday series?? -- 6-4 at Mariucci.  Not a great start after a long layoff over the holidays.  Moreover, after they play tonight/Monday night, they play the other non-con series, at home against Robert Morris, Friday and Saturday.  Never seen a four-Game turnaround between series before, either.

#-5: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -2).  Maryland is a very good team, even though they have fallen a notch below the true elites over the past several Years.  But I have high expectations for the Golden Gophers, and on Wednesday night they lost to the Terrapins by eight at home.  The sky isn't falling; I think Charlie Creme still has them as a team on the bubble for a tournament slot.  But I think I will have to tamper down what I believe these players are capable of.  After all, Dawn Plitzuweit is in her first Year at the helm, so this is a mulligan season, right?

This Week: At Michigan, home to Nebraska.

#-6 (tie): Gopher volleyball and MNUFC (Re-Entry for both!).  And now, two teams that have been rocked by surprising departures that leave you questioning the direction of both programs.

First, to Gopher volleyball, where, on the heels of a disappointing first season under new Head Coach Keegan Cook, Taylor Landfair, who was the Big Ten Player Of The Year and was AVCA First-Team All-American in 2022, announced that she was transferring to Nebraska, which just finished getting upset (in straight Sets) by Texas in the title Game.  Despite losing, the Cornhuskers, who started the season setting a record for highest attendance for a women's Game on planet Earth, may be the marquee program in top-flight women's volleyball.  That the U.'s best player decided she needed to leave Dinkytown is quite an indictment on the program.  That Minnesota has never won a championship puts them a tier below Nebraska and Texas and Penn St. and Stanford and the like.  Now, on the heels of a Second Round elimination, one has to wonder if this program is free-falling.

Meanwhile I don't know what the fuck is going on in Golden Valley/Midway.  Sean McAuley has departed as Interim Head Coach of the Loons.  Again, that's interim; the franchise has held off on naming a permanent replacement for Adrian Heath, and in fact the plan was for McAuley to continue in a caretaker role to start the new season, which starts about seven Weeks from now, until this new GM (I'm not going to bother looking up his name) came finally come stateside and is ready to help find one.  Maybe that was a bullshit situation to McAuley; he left to pursue other opportunities, so it's not as if he has a new job lined up right now.  So they have now appointed Cameron Knowles, their HC of the Reserve Squad, as Caretaker Manager, and lets hope he doesn't bolt town, too.  Seriously, we are on a second interim coach?  Doesn't that seem like a sign of a fucked-up organization?

#-Infinity: Vikings (Last Week: -4).  Oh, you fucking Vikes, don't ever stop disappointing us, you motherfuckers.  With an emasculation at home on New Year's Eve by Green Bay and a thorough beating at Detroit by a Lions squad that I still wonder if they were giving 100%, Minnesota finishes out of a playoff spot with a 7-10 record.  They lost their last four Games and six of their last seven, and that sole Win, at Las Vegas by a score of 3-0, was so bad that we might as well count that as a Loss, too.

I predicted at the start of the season, when they went 0-2 to Tampa Bay and Philadelphia, that they would be an eight-or-nine-Win club, so in that sense I put more faith in them than they deserved.  It's safe to say the season was over as soon as Kirk Cousins went out for the Year.  But the Defense, which had overachieved through the middle of the season when it seemed like Josh Dobbs could salvage a playoff spot, went into the toilet the last month-plus of the season.  It's ironic: You get a great Coordinator and you want him to replace your team's Head Coach even though you know he's going to be a HC somewhere else, but once his unit starts playing badly and it looks like he might stay put, you're all, "Fire this asshole!"  The pendulum has swung that wildly for Brian Flores, I think.

Cousins, for all his shortcomings, now seems like the fucking savior we need to get back to success.  But that Defense is old and still full of holes like last season, and I don't know how much younger and better we can get.  The franchise feels really directionless right now, and unless General Manager Kwesi Adofo-Mensah starts hitting on his Draft picks, things could get quite shittier in Eagan -- which, to be fair, is a very familiar feeling.

Shrink's On Something Again

Arranged to speak with my psychotherapist on Friday after work.  Actually texted him about it; didn't arrange it through his secretary.  Texted him at the time we were supposed to talk.  And he didn't call me.  Again.

Later that evening he both texted and called me.  This time around he said that the alarm was going off at his place.  He said -- and I couldn't quite hear him, either because the line was bad or he was mumbling, or both -- that the police came out to either his place or the place next door, and he was so preoccupied all day that he forgot that we were supposed to talk.  Or something.  Honestly, this is new from him.  Do I believe it?  I don't know if I care about how different his excuses are anymore.  This is yet another missed appointment from him, and this time I spoke to him directly that we would talk on Friday.  Seriously, what the hell gives?

He has gotten increasingly strange, and this time has ratcheted that up a bit.  In the past he has left strange, almost indecipherable texts for me that he says is a result of a buggy phone.  Around Friday night, when he called me, he sent me about a dozen (maybe more) voice texts.  I didn't ask for those.  In fact, I have never gotten a voice text from anyone through text.  (I've gotten some from a distant relative on WhatsApp, and she is also strange.)  He doesn't talk when he says we are going to talk, and he makes up for it by blasting me with a series of weird texts?

I ... I don't know about him anymore.

Expenses Without Receipt

Starting from Saturday, January 6, 2024:

• Well, I don't have an EWR until New Year's Eve.  That's when I went to Casey's and got lottery tickets because the Powerball jackpot swelled up again.  I also got cranberry juice in case I wanted to make myself a cosmopolitan, and since they were selling two of the Casey's-branded bottles of juice for some deal, I went and got a bottle of apple juice, too.  Total: $39.50.
• Back to, I think, Wednesday, December 27, which I think was the only time our office lottery pool went in on this jackpot.  My supervisor bought tickets the day before, and I wanted to pay her back on this day, which just so happens to be the day of the jackpot for which we bought tickets.  With that being said, I could totally have the wrong date, and it's possible I threw in for another draw.  But I think it was only one, and therefore I paid in only: $4.
• On Christmas Eve I went to Merlins Rest, which I still believe is the only place open late on Christmas Eve in the Twin Cities.  Had a good time by myself sipping whiskeys and being content with making it to another Christmas.  A jazz band usually plays on Christmas Eve, and since it was a Sunday and Merlins Rest closes at midnight on Sundays, I was able to catch the last part of their show when I usually arrive too late.  I was able to tip them: $4.
• On Saturday the 23rd I went to My Favorite Stripclub (Cover Version).  There was no snow on the ground and temperatures were much higher than average, so I took advantage of driving all the way down there at a time of the year I usually don't do that to see my ATF, ******a.  Dude at the turnstile waved me without a cover even though I got there just a tick past 5.  Couldn't get a goddamn drink until ******a flagged one down before we started our table dances about an hour later.  I think the waitress is racist.  Anyway, along with tips for the strippers and the staff, drinks for ******a and I and the 18 dances I got from her, I spent a total of: $207.
• Back to Saturday the 9th, where ****e* came over and cleaned house.  She spent, oh, six or seven hours when before she would take up to twelve.  Either she's getting faster or there wasn't a whole lot that needed to be cleaned here.  But she gave me a break on her rate, Buddha bless her.  She remains very, very good and what she does.  Total: $200.
• Finally, back on Monday, December 4, *****y came over and jerked me off for the first time ever.  Well, I had to jerk myself off to completion because I may have ED or some shit.  I was not great.  She was.  She's fantastic.  And I'm still in awe that one of the hottest women who danced at My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition, RIP) would deign to even touch my dick.  And only for a reasonable price of: $150.

I don't think I'm missing anything.  Good through January 6, 2024.

Fucking Waste To Go To A Coffeeshop

Fucking waste to go to a coffeeshop (for which I got chili, a sandwich and a Coke) to work on my receipts when I see that I didn't add the month of December to my day planner and therefore I didn't have any place to write the amounts on the receipts on.  Well, have to look on the bright side, right?  The chili was real good.  The chicken salad sandwich was crap because the whole damn thing fell apart on me.  Coke is Coke.  And the babe showing off her belly was working again.  Oh, and I saw a pretty exciting end of the Kentucky-Florida Game on my computer.

But yeah, it was a waste to go to a coffeeshop when I can't work on my receipts.  Dammit.

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: December 2023

A pretty good ending to last year's Hooters calendar.  I only point out four of the dozen that appear for the month, but the four are so good, I think on the whole this is better than average.  Here are the four, in ascending order:

In fourth place is Marissa, of Gainesville, Fla.  The pose is what I want to see from a Hooters waitress: Standing straight at the camera, no arms or props blocking our view of her body.  She has long, dark blonde hair and is wearing a tiger-printed two-piece bikini.  Her boobs seem to be big.  Not, like, large, but you can see her bikini top pressing her breasts like pancakes, so "big" in that sense.  The only, and I mean only, drawback against her is that she looks a bit young.  I know she has to be an adult, but she is young-looking.  That might be a good thing to some other people.

In third place is Las Vegas' Shania.  Long blond hair with dark roots; her hair cascades over her right breast, covered by a blue two-piece.  I dismissed her at first, but then the subtly great parts of this photograph came to the fore.  She did her shoot in a forest, which is different in a good way.  Moreover, she's got some wild and crazy tattoos (can't see what they are) on her right side and her bikini area.  That is fucking hot, especially for a Hooters waitress.  Rarely do you see tattoos in this calendar.

In second place is Brittany, from Mesa, Ariz.  Sporting a yellow two-piece bikini, the best thing about her is her cascading red hair.  I'm a sucker for a redhead.  Oh, and her big (and probably fake) tits are nice, too.

Finally, in first place is The Main Girl, Lindsey, hailing from Merrillville, Ind.  Long blonde hair, she is wearing an orange-and-blue-halved two-piece.  She's also wearing that ... thing that's like a shirt, except that only the sleeves and the very top portion around her neck is there.  Wearing it, it looks like she is lifting up a shirt to reveal her bikini top.  That's an illusion that I love.  Oh, and she's got piercing blue eyes as well.  Plus, there's an underdog status to her -- both as a Hooters girl from Merrillville, Ind. (which is part of the sprawling Chicagoland metroplex) and as a Main Girl; to me, the best picture for a month usually isn't from the woman with the biggest picture that month, so in a sense, this is an upset.

So congratulations to Lindsey and all the aforementioned Hooters waitresses for finishing out 2023 in style.  No worries -- I already touched myself to all of ya!!!!