OK, This Wasn't The Slickest Move, But ...

OK, so I'm at the coffee place last night.  They have a frequent diner's program, you know?  (I wonder if I said anything about this before.)  And sometimes there's a person who didn't sign up, but the transaction is there for anyone, such as me, to take as credit for your account.  You normally get your credit when you use your credit card, but if you pay cash you put in your phone number.

I have done that in the past to steal credit.  Why not, you know?  If no one's going to take it, why can't I?  It was just going to waste otherwise.  So I did that last night.  And the barista came over and said, "I'm going to ask you not to do that."  I felt kind of sheepish whenever I did it because it looks like it's stealing even though it isn't, and now I "got caught."  But he explained further: "Your number is now attached to that person's credit card."

And you know, I get that.  Well, I did at the time.  But then I started rationalizing.  First of all, I've done this a few times before, and I check my credit card statements, and I have never seen any phantom charges on there.  (Well, besides the time I got my credit card number stolen, but the credit card companies were all over that.)  Second of all, if this program allows credit card numbers to be screwed up with phone numbers that aren't tied to those credit card numbers, well, maybe this isn't a good program.  So maybe that happens ... or maybe the program has no memory, as in you can put in any number after the transaction is made, and that's it, and in no way would the phone number be "tied" with the credit card number.  And finally of all, if this somehow means that I or the person whose transaction I "used" the credit from suddenly get charges they didn't charge, I'm sure the credit card company will be able to figure it all out, like they did when my credit card got stolen.  So maybe he's overreacting.

But, sigh, I'll stop.  I kind of look bad.  I don't think it's a big deal, but ... fine.

---

I'll say this, though: I've always had a weird feeling about this barista.  He's done the minimum he needs to do as a barista, and that's fine.  But I always feel as though, deep down, even though I go there all the time, he doesn't give a fuck about me the way he would about the "real" regulars at the place, and if he wants to, he'll shit on me.  It's just ... I'm not completely comfortable with him.  I don't need him to be charismatic and we don't have to shoot the shit or anything, but I've seen him for a couple years now and he's giving me nothing.  The warning about not putting in my number for other people's purchases is the longest we've spoken about something besides what I order.  Oh, and he's loud -- he slams a lot of things while working.  It's as if he has some unspoken anger he's holding in.  Yeah, I see you, and I see that -- because I DO IT TOO!!!

Everything ... Sucks Right Now ... ?

I don't know what's up with me, but I think everything sucks right now.  Don't know why, since really, nothing really sucks right now.

So why am I upset?  Well, my team lost, and I think that's a lot of it.  Oh, I also fucked a stripper last night, but she was faking an orgasm and she didn't kiss me after we got done.  And you know, I'm all strung out from working all day and running around all night.  And there's a lot of coffee in my veins, and that ain't good.

I should be happier.  I'm going on vacation soon.  But damn, I haven't packed yet.  Come to think of it, I haven't set my fantasy football teams either.  And I need to wake up early 'cause I'm going to work in the morning.  So I have a lot of stuff to do and no time to do it.  Dang it.

Holy Shit -- I PULLED IT OFF???

OK, so here's what happened Thursday morning with my car in the shop.

Woke up to the sound of Father rooting around in the kitchen.  Thought I was fucked.

He was surprised to see me up so early.  Obviously, he didn't know that was because I needed to walk to The Mechanic Around The Corner to drive the loaner car.  But I have odd hours at this job, so I don't think that was too much of a problem for him.

My biggest concern was that, when I left the house, I would, of course, just walk down the driveway and out onto the street.  There would be no sound of firing up the car.  Once -- or if -- that doesn't happen, I would assume Father would either bolt to the window to see what the hell is going on with the silence, or he would figure out what's going on and interrogate me once I came home.  Either way, I would have just come clean.  Especially in the latter case, when, well, it was too late to do anything about it.

So I started walking, and down the driveway and street I went.  I didn't hear any shouting from Father behind me.  He was watching TV, so maybe he was so distracted by that (or his hearing is going) that he didn't notice he didn't hear something he was supposed to hear.  And Mother was sleeping at that time of morning.  I took one glance behind me to make sure he wasn't at the window.  It appears he wasn't, so under cover of night ... I started running down the street, as if that would have made a difference.

Came back with the car in the afternoon.  They didn't say anything.  And Father hasn't brought up the car, at least not yet.

Seriously, did he not notice?

Seriously, did I pull it off?

Not Making Money Off Of Wailing And Failing? You Don't Say!

I had a dream, once, of making money off of this blog.  Then it turns out that no one blogs anymore.  Also, I'm not good at making money.  And then I was told that I had to turn off my ads because either my content or the ads being generated from Blogger because it makes sense with the content were pornographic.

I didn't remember that they were off until yesterday, when I saw an e-mail from Blogger saying that unless I put ads back into here, WAF, I'm going to lose all my stats and, incidentally, the units that would add up to the money I would receive from these guys.  Now, I actually do like looking at my numbers.  But I stopped caring a long time ago about making money from doing this, because that just ain't gonna happen.

However, after thinking about it, I realized that I did care.  So I followed the link on how to put ads back onto the blog, and for the life of me, I have no friggin' how to do it.  I have clicked on links, cut-and-pasted code, went this way and that ... I'm still not sure if I did this right.  I eventually found the way back to where, I think, I had shut down ad adds and re-opened the ability for Blogger to auto-populate them onto Wailing And Failing.  But I don't know if it'll work or not.  And if it doesn't, beats the heck out of me what I could do next.

And, It Went To Shit

So this is what happened:

• I finally checked my voicemail.  It was from the dealership; the guy finally got back to me.  And he said his field rep won't give me a discount.  I thank him in a return voicemail ... and I intend on raising some sort of holy hell over this.
• Got another voicemail shortly after work.  It was from The Mechanic Around The Corner.  They found a starter for a lot less than $600.  I say let's do it, and let's do it for Thursday/today.
• I turn the car on so I can mosey on down to St. Paul and the United Match.  It doesn't turn over.
• Tried it a few more times.  Shit.  I'm fucked.  And of course this would happen the day before I was going to drive it in.
• Downloaded Lyft.  I had sworn to never use ride-sharing, but it was either fight the traffic, wait for a tow, then get yelled at by my parents, or trying like fucking crazy to hide that I'm taking my car into the shop.  But, I need the cover of night to do that, and besides, the Loons could clinch a first-ever Major League Soccer playoff spot with a win.  Why not go?  So I used a Lyft.  The guy was fine, even though I don't feel the win to use a rideshare again.  (Got a friend to take me back to work.  Oh, and MNUFC did win, hooray!)
• Tried my car, hoping that the advent of night would cool the starter.  No dice; it's shot to shit.  I thank my friend and call the tow.
• Truck comes in less than half an hour.  If I did this around 5, it'd take two.  Guy's a Trump supporter, but I like him.  Besides, he was my ride; I know better than to get too in-depth with politics with someone I need.
• Tow truck guy dropped me off three blocks from home.  Walked up because my parents would get suspicious of a loud vehicle coming up and then backing down the driveway.  I don't think they suspect yet, but Father's up.  I think.

My plan is to wake up early tomorrow, hope my folks are still asleep, then quietly slip out of the house, walk down the driveway and get to The Mechanic Around The Corner on foot without them noticing.  If they do -- or if Father is awake when I wake up, which is likely to happen -- I'll tell the truth: My car won't start, and I took it to my auto repair place because fuck you, I want to do this my way, you'll just yell at me if I ask you for help, fuck you.

But damn, if I can just leave with them noticing, and my car needs just today to get it all fixed, and I can come home like nothing weird happened ... well, that's, like, my fantasy.

Don't Know If I'm Pulling This Repair Timeline Off Correctly

Just realized that by waiting a day, to see if the dealership would actually help me, I've given myself one fewer day in which I could get my car fixed.  Today/Wednesday is now out.  I could have done it, although it would have been a tight fit because I'm going to the United Match.  But it's at least plausible that I could have gone to The Mechanic Around The Corner today; I could have dropped it off and have them fix it by the time I was done with work, swing by, switch cars, then go back out.

But I did not make an appointment for today.  Instead I waited to see, once again, if the dealership would cut me a break -- and, also, if The Mechanic Around The Corner could get a loaner car so I could, ostensibly, use it to get to and from work.  So now, I realized yesterday/Tuesday, it would basically have to be tomorrow/Thursday.  Friday I have to come in early, and even though I'll be able to leave early, I don't think either shop has extended hours on Fridays.  Saturdays are out (I believe), Sundays even moreso.  I could do it Monday, but this brings up another troubling point: I have half a tank of gas left, and I don't know if I can survive through the weekend.  And if I don't, I'll have to recreate what happened last Monday, where I stopped my car, filled up my tank, and couldn't start my car for half an hour because apparently my starter got heat soaked.

And on top of all that, I leave for Denver next week.  Guess I could do it Tuesday, but there's usually overtime offered, and I could use all the money I could get.

Man, I don't know what I should do. ...

Being indecisive has been one of the hallmarks of my life.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Positive Numbers: Saints (NEW!!!).

OK, I have been to Saints games in the past, mostly when they played in charming Midway Stadium.  I have been to a few at CHS Field, including one earlier this season where a friend and I were going to hang out but it got delayed a couple times by a rainstorm that wasn't going to be brief, so we bounced after the game was stopped, I think, after one Inning.  Anyway, even though they've been part of the local scene for more than a quarter-century, they're not included in The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey.  Why?  I have a rule: I only track local teams that are in the best leagues for their sport at their level.  Minor league baseball cannot count because there is Major League Baseball.  And that, I'm afraid, is how it's always going to be.

With that being said, if the Saints win a league (before it was the Northern League, but now it's the American Association) title, hell yes I'm gonna put them in the survey!  And it's about goddamn time this team won a fucking championship.  The crown jewel of the AA, if not independent minor-league baseball, had not won anything since the 2004 Northern League, and that seems odd to me.  However, with a 6-3 win over the Sioux City Explorers back on Sep. 14, the Saints swept the Championship Series 3-0 and ended a 15-Year drought.

This ballclub had seen heartbreak in past seasons, coming close but being denied at the doorstep.  Things were hairy this postseason, too.  They were down two-Games-to-none in the Northern Division Series to the Fargo-Moorhead Redhawks, but luckily, Games 3-5 were at CHS.  Both Saints losses were by a Run, and the remaining Games in the series would be almost as tight; St. Paul took Game 3, 6-4, and Game 4, 1-0.  But after Game 5 was postponed a day due to rain, the Saints completed the comeback Tuesday, Sep. 10 with a 9-7 win.  They started the Champ Series the next day back in Sioux City, Ia., but it didn't matter after that; the Saints won their last six Games to take the title.

Good for them!  I've always liked minor-league ball because it was friendlier to the fanbase.  A lot of that gregariousness is reflected in how low stakes everything is, and in particular how ... uh, un-serious those ballclubs take themselves.  I remember helping out the production of a Twins broadcast; before the Game I was on Target Field's field, and I made the innocent mistake of stepping on the grass.  Some dude in a Twinks uniform -- I never knew whether it was a player or an ass-kissing assistant -- ordered me to stay off the grass.  But on that Saturday night, after the Game- (and series-) ending Double Play to clinch the title, I and all the other fans at CHS Field were invited down onto the grass, and the diamond, and the bases, to celebrate with the team.  I got to touch the outfield grass, the infield dirt, home plate -- everything.  That's how you generate love.  That's how you cast loyalty with a sports team in iron.

Congratulations to the St. Paul Saints!  At least one local team is a champion!

#0: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: 0).  Neither Clemson nor Oral Roberts are v-ball powers, so naturally the Gophers would sweep them both in the Diet Coke Classic.  So why are they up at 0?  Well, this team has won its last five Matches, and despite me thinking they're still not going to win it all, I feel that, right now, their ceiling is a little higher than the Vikings and Twins, team I still have grave doubts over.  My hypothesis will be tested as this club opens B1G play with Pavilion Games against the Indiana schools (Indiana Friday, Purdue Saturday).

#-1: Vikings (Last Week: -3).  A 34-14 victory over The Soon-To-Be Vegas Raiders where, it needs to be said, they looked like they were in control for the entire Game.  And they are doing it their way, with power running and a stout defense.  That demands less from Kirk Cousins, which is a good thing.  But while smacking around the Raiders is one thing, going on the road to Chicago and trying that combination on the Bears in the Sunday late Game (which, weirdly, will be on CBS and not Fox -- yeah, conference/network affiliations don't seem to matter anymore) is another entirely.  Can this team win away from home?  Can they win while not doing what they want to do?  And can they win being led by Cousins?

#-2: Twins (Last Week: Positive Numbers).  A 4-2 screening week didn't put Cleveland away for good.  But there has been no imminent collapse, and therefore it seems certain that, with a press-time Magic Number of 3, the Minnesota Twins will win the American League Central Division and reach the playoffs -- the real playoffs -- since 2010.  What matters now is getting everyone healthy and figuring out the rotation.

On that beat, it appears as though Kyle Gibson, who has seemed to struggle ever since getting called up to The Big Show, has played his way out of any high-leverage position with the club.  He was asked to start Thursday's tilt versus Kansas City, but he lasted only 1 2/3 Innings and was pulled after giving up three Runs and back-to-back Walks loaded the bases.  The Twins came back to win, 8-5.  But that appearance appears to be a nadir to a squad tenure that, ever since he got called up to pitch in the majors June 29, 2013 (at home against the Royals, ironically), has never been able to piece it all together with enough consistency to make management and fans believe in him.  Coincidentally, like with Miguel Ibarra and Brent Kallman (see below), it seems, I'm afraid, that this Minnesota stalwart likely has played in a local uniform for the last time.

And like the Loons, the Twins can clinch a playoff spot with a win (and with some help) Wednesday evening.  They finish the regular season with three Games at Detroit (starting tonight/Tuesday night) and three at the Royals.

#-3: United FC (Re-Entry!).  Totally forgot to bring back this team from International Break last week -- and I'm a season ticket holder!

In the intervening two weeks the Loons have lost in Houston, beaten Salt Lake City at Allianz and tied with Portland on the road.  That Timbers Draw is the most important, as they cling onto third place in the West.  But I want to talk about two United FC stalwarts who've been with the club before the elevation into top-flight.  Because I'm afraid it looks like they won't be on the squad anymore.

The more immediate, and dire, case is Brent Kallman.  On Thursday, Major League Soccer suspended him ten Matches after he got busted for PEDs.  He always seemed to me an underrated player, not making starter's wages and yet being good enough to be a starter.  Despite Ike Opara getting signed and slotted into the spot Kallman probably could have played, he remained a quiet substitute, always ready to step in ... even though he was rarely asked to.  I still think he can start for MNUFC, but with the way he's been used, and now his 10-Game bit for PEDs, it appears as though he has already made his last appearance for his longtime side.

The other, in case you haven't deduced, is Miguel Ibarra.  The signs have been there.  He was a starter for a cup of tea, but then Kevin Molino got healthy, and then Manager Adrian Heath started trusting Ethan Finlay a little more, and then the team signed Robin Lod and then Thomas Chacon and ... well, the writing's on the wall.

It doesn't help that there are clues on social media.  A couple weeks ago Batman put his condo up for sale.  And then there's this tweet:

When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back.

— Miguel Ibarra (@Migue10Ibarra) September 16, 2019

I reacted to last offseason's purge, where many Loon players who played their hearts out for a not-good side where told to scram, including longtime Loon Ibson, with disdain, if not disgust.  I don't care if management and/or us fans want to win championships -- you don't treat your loyal soldiers like this.  But since then I've come to understand and accept that soccer grinds through players mercilessly, and that players once depended on are quickly hustled to the bench and then escorted off of the team because soccer organizations routinely just find the next player, always and regardless.  There are no lifelong players in soccer.  There can't be.  And that, it looks like, includes Ibarra.  This time, unlike with the trade of Christian Ramirez, I am boiling with anger and pain.  Maybe that's not a good thing.

At any rate, it appears as though one more win will seal up the first MLS playoff spot ever for the Loons.  And this week would be the time to do it; they have two Matches, Kansas City Wednesday and the Galaxy Sunday night, but both of them are at home.  This franchise, undoubtedly and with some great sacrifices, is improving.

#-4: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -2).  Yeah, this club doesn't have it this year.  They began the Big Ten season this weekend with a pair of 2-0 defeats at Rutgers and Maryland.  They just have to rebuild for next year, I suppose.  They have a Friday-Sunday schedule this screening week but at home.  They face Ohio St. Sunday afternoon.  Friday's match versus Penn St. is a "Rock The Robbie" event, for which I spent a buck at the State Fair to buy a ticket.  Unfortunately, early forecasts say it'll rain that evening.  Unlike the contest against N. C. St., I'm going regardless because I already bought a ticket.

So, About This "Heat Soak" Thing ...

I'm doing more research on the Internet, which is, as we all know, an infallible resource.  And once I Googled my car's specific symptom, that my car won't re-start after I shut it off a short time ago, I saw this new concept I had never heard of: "Heat soak."  There is so much heat that the starter experiences enough resistance to the point that it cuts down the flow of current and it just won't start.  Hmmm.

This particular website brings up solutions other than the starter: Either put on a heat shield, check the battery cables, or replace the battery with one with higher capacity.  So, it ... may not be the starter?

Meanwhile I haven't heard anything from the dealership.  Maybe I'm getting overanxious, but I don't think I need to wait this long for an answer.  And you know, I went back through the previous receipts when I brought in my old car to The Mechanic Around The Corner, and they weren't bad.  They can diagnose and replace just like the dealership, and they can do it with slightly better customer service, too.  Maybe I should take this problem independent after all. ...

I'm Totally Obsessed Over This Goddamn Starter

Getting my pass for the Vikings game -- I used the old car -- I came upon an epiphany.  I didn't want to panic into getting the starter on the new car replaced because I wanted to hear if the dealership and field rep would be willing to pay for it.  Again, as I've said, the starter shouldn't have gone to shit after just 71,000 miles.  But I called Friday and the dealership said he hadn't heard from the rep.  Is he ducking me, waiting me out until I have to give in and just pay full price for the replacement?  I mean, how long does it take to make a decision to either pay for it or not?  I know that car dealerships do these rope-a-dope tactics to frustrate and piss off customers, but I don't think it would spread over to the service side ... would it?

Anyway, I looked at my gas tank; it's barely half full.  I remember that my car stalled for a half-hour after I filled it up.  So I finally put two and two together; I need to get this starter replaced before I need to fill up my tank again, or else the shit that happened on Monday will happen again.  So even though this thing with the field rep is still up in the air, I know how long I can wait.

Unfortunately, this proves that I cannot wait forever, and so I am getting more serious about getting the starter replaced somewhere else.  You know, The Mechanic Around The Corner wasn't that bad.  If the field rep doesn't give an answer by Monday, I'm going to call The Mechanic Around The Corner and start making plans.  Because I gotta get this starter replaced before I get gas again ... or before my starter really goes to hell.

And Now My Laptop's Fucking Up

Last night I was turning off my computer to get a nap before my alma mater's game (didn't sleep).  I was going to put my laptop off to the side, but as I was doing so, my thumb felt extremely hot.  "Ah!" I told myself as I almost threw my lap down.

It was coming from one particular area: One screw on the bottom of the laptop.  And then I got to thinking about overheating.  I've Googled ways to counteract that, namely by cleaning the vents with an air can and, if I'm so enterprising, cleaning out the insides of my laptop.  I'm a klutz who'll probably wind up destroying my computer if I try that, so I have decided that, when I have the time, I'll just go somewhere and pay someone to do it.

And I should do it soon.  Right now a lot of the lap is getting hot.  They keys I'm typing on are hot, and I don't remember them being so before.  You know, I kicked my laptop (accidentally of course) off of my bed last week.  Did that destroy the fan inside it?

First the car and now this.  I hate my life right now.

Nope, I Wasn't Wrong (Hate My Car Right Now)

Turns out it was the starter.

I will be paying $600 for it ... and I say will because they didn't have the part in hand.

Stayed anyway because, lo and behold, they "say" that they didn't "catch" during my visit last week that the front brakes are worn off and that the cabin filter has had a chunk eaten out of it.  I had no other plans last night, so what the hell, I'll sink another $550 to get that fixed ... even though 1) that could've been fixed for cheaper at an independent shop and 2) they should have caught that shit last week.  Incompetence or lying -- the typical question one asks of dealerships when you're blindsided with repair bills.

And I stayed at the dealership for a long time after that because the goddamn starter wasn't working for an hour.  Went back and forth between my car and the waiting room until ... uh, the starter was in the right "position" to get to a "spot" that would start the car.  Fucking humiliating.

Oh; a couple days ago I called the American corporate headquarters about this, just in case they would be willing to pay for the starter.  They won't.  They told me to beg the field rep.  We'll see, but these guys got me over a barrel anyway.  As soon as I get a yes or no from this field rep, then I can go in and get the starter replaced.  I'll just have to act conservative and not make too many stops until then.

I hate my car right now.

But What If I'm Wrong?

And now I'm scared that I said too much on my e-mail to him.  Maybe the Internet is wrong; maybe I'm wrong and that it's not the starter after all?  You know, maybe I am a crank that just needed a vector toward which I can funnel my anger after my triple non-start on Monday, and of course complainers on the World Wide Web would supply that in spades.  Sure, there's something wrong, and sure, it shouldn't be happening to such a young car.  But maybe there is a viable explanation for it, and maybe I'm not the one to figure it out because, you know, I'm not a mechanic.

Maybe I should chill and just let them figure this out.  Not to say I shouldn't have a healthy skepticism, but maybe they really do want to make things right.  Look, all I want is a correct diagnosis and to leave the dealership with that non-starting issue fixed.  And I hope the dealership feels the same way.

Now see me fly off the handle tomorrow after they tell me nothing's wrong.

The Mistrust Continues

Went out after dinner last night to 1) drink a pop, 2) get the mozzarella sticks at Arby's because, randomly, they were only 99 cents yesterday, and 3) buy a book at Barnes & Noble, but not before sneak-reading Consumer Reports on ... which used car models are the most reliable.  (Verdict for my Fit: Great car overall, but the 2015 has more breakdowns than other years.  Dammit.)

I had a choice as to which car to use.  I could have used my car as a way to check out if the starter is still acting up.  But in the end I drove the old Lexus -- which, Freudian slip, I described to my parents Monday as "their car" -- to the strip mall.  It had, and has, a lot of problems, but starting isn't one of them.  In the meantime, I didn't want to get my parents to pick me up from Arby's if the starter in my new car went kaput.

Right now, I have more trust in my old car -- which is 26 years old -- than in my new car, which is only four.  And that is insane, if not fucked-up.  But that's how I felt last night, and that's how I feel now.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

I'll get to the Saints next week I'll get to the Saints next week I'll get to the Saints next week.  But I wanted to do only one Positive Numbers, and frankly, I think the local minor-league team can wait.  Also, my car now scares me, and I don't want to do any part of the survey if I don't have to do it.  So, the Positive Numbers this week goes to:

Positive Numbers: Twins (Last Week: -3).  The team played seven Games, but only two Games really count.  That was the rainout-induced Doubleheader Saturday in Cleveland, and somehow, the Minnesota Twins managed to win both Games and psychologically put the dagger into The Tribe's hopes of winning the American League Central.

Both Games were entertaining, too.  In the first Game, Minnesota was holding on to a 2-0 lead, but Taylor Rogers struck out Mike Freeman with a man on First Base to end it:



For the night's Game 2, the score was tied at 5 in the top of the Eighth Inning when Miguel Sano strode to the plate with the bases loaded and facing new (to the Game) Pitcher Nick Goody:



So who cares that the dropped two-of-three at home to The Bastard Montreal Expos?  (Minnesota beat the White Sox last/Monday night at Target by the way, finishing the week 4-3.)  Cleveland can't come back from what happened Saturday.  So now I, the pessimist, can rest assured that the Minnesota Twins will make the playoffs -- the real playoffs.

After finishing up against the White Sox, they host Kansas City for four.

#0: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -5).  OK, I'm not not impressed; they went to University Park, Pa. for the Big Ten/Pac-12 Challenge and beat both of the Pac-12 challengers, Oregon (in three) and Stanford (in four).  I should add that the Gophers beat the Cardinal when they were ranked #1 in the nation.  For that, The Farm slipped to #2 (behind Nebraska), but Minnesota went up only one spot to seventh.  I don't get that, but maybe those back-to-back losses to Florida St. and Texas are still on coaches' minds.

This is the fourth and final non-con weekend, and it's Diet Coke Classic time.  They host Clemson Thursday and Oral Roberts Saturday.

#-1: Gopher football (Last Week: -2).  For the third week in a row the U. barely squeaks by its opponent.  The margins of victory so far are seven, three and three, and they were trailing Georgia Southern (I checked; they're a top-flight school) Saturday with less than four Minutes left to go after an Eagles fumble recovery.  It took a 13-play (!!!) drive going 75 Yards in 3 1/2 Minutes and Tyler Johnson completing his monster day (ten Catches, 140 Yards and three Touchdowns) with his final Reception (from two Yards) from Tanner Morgan.Naturally, he was named Big Ten Offensive Player Of The Week.A team that should be elite should not need to come back to win games against non-BcS schools.  But hey, better to pull a win out than a loss, which is what my alma mater did.

It's now B1G time. They start playing teams (supposedly) their size ... two weeks from now, when they face Purdue.

#-2: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -6).  They finally got their first win of the season, 1-0 in a rain-soaked Thursday at Robbie Stadium over N. C. St. -- and the Wolfpack was ranked, too!  That is a great way to get off the schneid.  Unfortunately, they followed that up Sunday afternoon with a 1-0 loss, also at home, to ... South Dakota St.  (Either one father of a Jackrabbit player or an SDSU superfan tweeted something that was somewhat shady towards the U.  I don't know if it's that offensive, but it goes to show that people give themselves permission to be dicks if they can couch it in the name of helping someone else ... and it might be even worse with who has been installed as president and the #MeToo movement being dragged to a strident level by some.)

So with the non-conference sked over, the U. has one Win, two Ties and five Losses.  They have no benefit of the doubt when it comes to an at-large bid.  They will have to win the B1G, and that means being something they have not shown to be in the club's first eight Matches.  And that starts out east, with tilts Friday against Rutgers and Sunday vs. Maryland.

#-3: Vikings (Last Week: -1).  I predicted the squad wouldn't be much better than 8-8, and the loss versus Green Bay Sunday is a reason why.  For two Games now, at least, the dedication to the run has paid significant dividends, with Dalvin Cook running for a career high.  But while he did make some good throws, and while Dan Bailey could have hit that Extra Point and Field Goal and Stefon Diggs should not have took out his helmet to push that missed PAT back 15 Yards, it looks as though (and I was listening to the Game through the radio) that Kirk Cousins was the reason the Vikes lost.  I heard that bad Interception as the Vikings were driving.  I'm glad Cousins is owning up to what he did, but nevertheless he is still living up (or down) to his reputation as a man who cannot get it done in the clutch.

At home to the soon-to-be Las Vegas Raiders Sunday.  I'll be at the Game working.  This might be a tricky one for The Purple.

#-Infinity: Lynx (Last Week: -4).  One-and-done, losing at Seattle.  There were some people thinking that the Jynx could beat the Storm there Wednesday, and there were even a couple thinking that the veteran-laden team could make a run.  But when your starting backcourt of Odyssey Sims and Danielle Robinson score a combined one Point, you're losing.

This has been a team that feels as though it's been patched together.  And with a huge legacy, following that up with a second disappointing season would usually yield the question of whether or not the organization should move on from Cheryl Reeve.  I still don't think so, because who in the hell will you find to replace her?

Better to rebuild through the draft now that the dynasty is over.  Hey, maybe you can build around Napheesa Collier, who was named Rookie Of The Year.  And maybe pray that the club (and the league) sticks around for another year.

My New Car Broke Down For The First Time Today

I don't really want to get into it.  Partly because I'm still trying to process it, partly because I'm afraid of what's going to happen tomorrow morning.

The not starting -- I push the brake pedal and the ignition button, but it just clicks -- began when I stopped off at downtown to get my shoes shined.  It started the second time.  It later happened when I stopped at the Black Hart assuming I would watch a game there.  But I didn't, and I went back to my car and it wouldn't start three, four times.  (It was off three, four minutes max.)  But the worst time was when I came home from Buffalo Wild Wings and decided to stop off at the gas station because those Saudi refineries got bombed and I saw some stations jack up their prices 20 cents.  I found a spot that hadn't yet jacked up their prices, but when I tried to start the car (and I was afraid of this), it wouldn't start.  And I kept going at it for five minutes, but it wouldn't fucking start.

I finally had to get my parents to help me in case the battery was the issue.  But when I went inside the gas station, Father started the car.  So when I bring the car into the dealership on Thursday, I'll tell them that, for some reason, the car had trouble re-starting after being off for a short period of time.

Things spiral out of control in situations like this.  I was seeing if a fuse was the problem, and in doing so I dropped one inside the car and couldn't find it.  I had to spend a good hour buying one, and so I missed the first half-hour of the series finale of So You Think You Can Dance (fantastic season with great routines, I just wish it were live all season).  Also, before I went about my day (shoe shining, seeing the women's golf team play in town, then soccer), Mother asked me to come home early so she could walk.  Well, them helping me with the car delayed dinner, and so I think Mother decided she couldn't go because it was too late.  That makes me feel guilty, especially because I was unable to show Father that the car wasn't starting.

But I know that's what is going to happen -- if not tomorrow morning, then some time before Thursday.  And I'm doubly afraid that I'll bring the car into the dealership and I'll spend $160 and they'll determine that nothing's wrong.  Things are already fucked up, though.  For the first time in its life, I'm afraid of using my car.  It's barely been four years and I'm already afraid of using my car.

The End Of My Ordeal Over Mother's Mileage, Maybe?

OK, update.

I was going to take this morning to call the airline and plead and/or threaten and/or use Mother to harangue the customer service rep over her missing miles.  But the airline actually did make good on its e-mail Saturday.  Checked Mother's online statement and, even though it's messy as hell -- my parents took a series of flights that are listed as one huge ... journey on Father's online statement, and I don't think it looks the same way on Mother's -- it looks as though she got all the miles that had been missing.  In fact, I think the airline counted one segment twice, so at least for that "journey" Mother gets more miles than Father.  I don't know if the airline is going to clean that up, but since they faulted "glitches in the software" for Mother's missing miles, maybe we should just be happy with what we have now.

The reasons the airline initially gave for rejected miles for her -- that she (well, I) asked too late and that the partner airlines are not eligible -- apparently were reversed, thrown in as a mistake stemming from these "glitches in the software."  That makes me think, though.  I took the same airline when going to Hong Kong a couple years ago, and I think I got rejected for the same reason.  If I complain about it now and say that these same "glitches" are preventing me from getting the miles I'm owed for that flight, shouldn't I be able to get miles, too?  Yes, it's been a couple years, but still.

Father has one more segment missing, but I actually have proof of flight for that.  If this gets cleared, we're all good.  And my long, national nightmare will finally be over.

Bit My Tongue Today

Literally.

Took a nap at work for lunch.  Woke up prematurely because of an ache in my mouth ... as if I bit my tongue.  I don't remember doing that, but then again, I was asleep.

Well, apparently it was a hard sleep because all afternoon I felt this grotesque pain to the side of my tongue.  It was driving me crazy, so I finally went into the bathroom to look at it through a mirror and, sure enough, to the side of my tongue there is a bump and, in the middle of that, a line -- as if I bit down on that part of my tongue.  Hard.

It still hurts.  I may have had more intense pain, but I've never felt such pain there.  I hope it heals fast.  But my goodness, I never thought I would ever literally bite my tongue. ...

This Mileage Request Shit Is Getting Weirder

I was thinking that Monday, to get Mother off my back but to also genuinely get to the bottom of all this, I would call the airline to see why Mother's flights have been rejected when Father received miles for the exact same flights.  For help I would ask Mother to yell at me in the background.  That way, the representative would hear that she would be flying off the handle and sympathize with me when I say I'm stepping in to help her get her miles.

Well, I checked my parents' e-mail last (Saturday) night and the airline actually replied to me (posing as them).  They took fault for not getting the mileage in on time, saying that there have been "glitches in the software."  OK, maybe that will explain the "too-late" code one of Mother's flights was given.

But the the rep e-mailing back said that they are beginning the process of getting miles for Mother's flight ... from Paris to Vienna.  WHAT?!?!?!  Now, my parents were in Europe, and I assume they have boarding passes for all those flights.  So what the hell is this rep talking about?  And how in the hell do you mix up the names of cities?!

I ... I ... don't even know where to begin.

I'm Too Late

Yes, this was my worst nightmare.  Even Mother was afraid of this.

She was scared that if I didn't pounce on getting her miles in time, it'll be too late.

And a couple nights ago I saw her online statement.  The flights I had just requested were there, but the miles were not.  And I saw the code: Request came too late.

No, I was afraid of this.  But I was afraid that Mother would suddenly freak out about this months after she initially asked about it, like she cared, stopped caring, then starting caring again.  If she was on this from the get-go and didn't stop, things could be much different.

But, no ... I feel so damn guilty.  Maybe I should have been on the ball a lot more.  There were requests that the airline did not take up, and maybe that was the point where I should have replied back, pushed back, fought back.  Then I would've gotten the miles for Mother, and I would not have to worry about some cutoff deadline.

However, how's this: Why couldn't she just have saved all the boarding passes for all the flights my parents took on vacation?  Mother gave me those passes and told me to ask for mileage for them.  She also told me -- I swear -- that if there are no pass, don't worry about getting miles for that flight.  That is what happened.  That is why she didn't get miles for those flights, and suddenly she's losing her shit over it.

Then again ... I just realized that I could have asked for miles for her without a boarding pass.  My Father and Mother obviously took all those flights together.  So, obviously, what flight segments he took are ones she took.  Moreover, the ticket number will probably be consecutive because they bought the tickets together -- and, and this is important, Mother's ticket number would be one more than Father's because, when ordering the tickets online, I'm certain that because they're "traditional," they would list Father's name before Mother's.  I could have just put in the flight number, flight points and ticket number and she would've been in, lickety split.

And yet ... I didn't take these trips.  I don't know where they went.  And these are not my miles.  Once again I am stepping into a situation for which I had contributed little to nothing, and Mother essentially gives me responsibility so that if I fuck up, she can blame me.  No -- I will not feel guilty about doing as much as I want to in order to appease her.  What's done is done.

One more twist ... I was at Glam Doll, chillaxing at my computer.  Just because I wanted to, I logged into Mother's statement, and I noticed small details that might add up.  The cutoff for which Mother apparently lost miles on is nine months.  The airline has the date of flights all correct, or at least I think so.  Then there are "posted" dates, dates the airline says they were informed of a request for miles by the flyer (in this case Mother).  I noticed that two flights both flew and posted on the online statement at roughly the same time ... one year apart, which I thought was well past the cutoff date to request miles.

Moreover, Mother received miles for one of those flights, but not for the other choreographed flight, even though she flew with Father, even though these flight segments were part of a whole journey and, by the way, is all paid for by one man with one credit card.  What the hell's the difference?  For all my self-hate over not staying on top of this, that discrepancy is so conspicuous that I am starting to think that it might not be my fault after all.  At any rate, I'm waiting on the airline.  Again.

---

I'm so freakin' tired right now I don't know if what I wrote above just now makes any sense.  I'm going to bed.

Forget It, Unforgivable Wetness, It's Lowry Hill East

I was at my coffeehouse last night.  I have mentioned it here on Wailing And Failing before by name.  But I won't this time because of what I saw last night, which I will recount for you here and now.

Using the bathroom on the way out.  I leave the can and see this guy, who does not look like any of the baristas that work there, standing on the threshold of what looks to be the closet with his back to me.  I surmise it's the closet because, well, I've seen it ajar before, but also because I can see around this stranger that there is a mop bucket with wheels in there.  It's yellow, so I can see it -- you know what I mean.

So this guy is standing right in front of it.  And I can't see his hands, even though it looks like his arms are in front of him.  And this guy's turned away from me.

No.  No he isn't.

He sees me and goes, "Hey, I thought this was the bathroom."

Oh, fuckin' gross.  How in the fuck do you think a closet is a bathroom?  And why in the fucking hell would you be pissing into a mop bucket?

But oh no, it gets weirder.  I'm not the only guy down there.  There's a second guy.  He may or may not be friends with the first guy.  I exchange glances with that second guy as I walk up the stairs in terror.

This second guy appears to be looking at the first guy more and more.  That makes me think they're friends.  First guy asks where the bathroom is.  Second guy probably tells him that it's around the corner, where I was … but I can't really hear him because, as I look down as I walk up the stairs, he sticks a toothbrush in his mouth and starts brushing.

Double fucking gross.  Why in the fucking hell would you be brushing your teeth in a coffeehouse, for God's sake?

---

I could've told the barista on my way out the Bosch painting that was going on downstairs.  But frankly I was too shocked to say anything.

Maybe because of what I witnessed, and maybe because I did not speak for the barista who probably was in for the shock of his life when he closed up the coffeeshop, that I may not be back there for a while.  I thought about going to a craft brewery last night instead of this coffeehouse, and yeah, I think I might do that next time … and the time after … and the time after … and. ...

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: August

Wish I had more time to gaze at the babes.  If I was able to have this hung up, I would be able to ruminate over the dozen hotties of August, see if someone strikes my eye, and then see if it's the same the next day.

Without that, I don't think it'll matter much if I just use the five minutes I had a couple days ago and a quick glance now to see who I like best.

On the whole it's a good month, although I think the big photo, featuring Destiny of Fairview Heights, Ill., (I've eaten at that Hooters -- twice!) wearing a red one-piece, is the worst.  A one-piece bikini hides the body of Tiffany out of Orchard Park, Ill., and a turn to side profile and hugging up against a brick wall (??) ruins the photo of the otherwise buxom Amanda (of ... Fairview Heights, Ill., also!  Didn't the editors see that they had two waitresses from the same restaurant on the same month?), sporting big boobs in a yellow bandeau top.

The rest are great, even Michaela Hoffman of Sanford, Fla., who got a big picture last year but is relegated to a smaller one here (even though she still looks hot).  I will give third place to Christa of Harlingen, Tex.; she has long brown hair, large and deep brown eyes, and a bikini bottom with holes designed into the pattern (for lack of a better term), but she's in side profile.  Second goes to Elizabeth, from Springfield, Mo.; she has her left arm covering up her left tit, but she's showing off a sparkling, deep red two-piece bikini and light eyes you can just disappear into.

But the grand prize goes to Fort Worth's Sabrina.  Two-piece is a dark gray/light gray pattern.  She has dark hair and eyes.  But what's really going for her is her pose: She's putting her hands on her hips like she's saying, "You're sporting a big dick there, U-Dub!  Now get over here so I can pump it and suck it and fuck!!!"

I'll try and jerk off to this month before the year is out.

Addendum To: Opportunity ... Wasted

Remember when I said I had a weird day coming at work today.  Well … I overslept.

I remember waking up to what I usually wake up to: The alarm is set to play Nirvana's "About A Girl," the rendition from their Unplugged In New York classic.  If you know that album, you know that the beginning, the very first thing you hear, is the crowd cheering as the band steps onto the stage.  I have heard that so much, when either hearing my alarm or plugging my smartphone into my car and having the car automatically start playing my music (you know what I'm talking about, right?), that I've come to dread it.  And I think that I dreaded it so much today that I inadvertently hit the "stop" button on my smart instead of the "snooze."  Or, I unconsciously was so tired that I just wanted to sleep.

At any rate, I woke up, thought I should be going to work, looked at the phone that I took out of the plug attached to the wall and put onto my bed in my half-awake state, and saw that it was past 8 -- two hours after I wanted to get up and an hour after I should have been at work.  Fuck me.

Look, I'm not going to kill myself or anything.  But I was, and am, very ashamed that I was late, let alone this late, to work.  The last time I was this egregiously late was back in my twenties working at as a temp.  I was so tired that I slept through the afternoon.  I woke up, called my boss and apologized for not only being late but waking up at around 1, with most of the workday over.  I grew out of it (I think that is partly due to my body) and learned that a working man has to wake up when he has to -- well, at least until today.

I profusely apologized to everyone once I got to the office, but at least no one made a huge deal out of it.  And I'm not going to really lose any money this week; I got to work 90 minutes late, but I did two hours of overtime yesterday after work, which will not turn into, you know, regular work.  Plus, I squeezed in an extra half-hour because my boss wants people to help with filing.  So I will still be working more than 40 for this week -- just not as much as I planned, and with an unexcused absence to go with it.

Let's hope I don't go through this bullshit again tomorrow morning.  But maybe I can blame the cooling weather for what I did.

Opportunity ... Wasted

Bringing my car into the dealership to get it serviced (oil change, what's wrong with the low tire pressure light, and some auto-start problems) after work today, and some days ago I had some thoughts that, because I would be spending at least a couple hours there, I would finally have the time to pound down on some work I have to do.  And there are a lot of things I have to do:

• Catch up on receipts;
• Reconcile my monthly expense list;
• Call ... a bunch of places -- the lawn care service, my health insurance company (to fix my dental bill as well as follow up on my health assessment) and ... I swear there was something else;

And frankly, if I were more enterprising I would be able to tell you what else I need to do ... 'cause then that would get me organized and compel me to get my shit together and, you know, do those things when while I wait for my car this evening.  But I doubt I will, because I am not organized and I will probably just surf the Internet until my car's done, and by that time I'll go, "Shit, but I had so many things I wanted to do!"

And now I'm tired and need to go to bed.  Weird day tomorrow.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Vikings (Re-Entry!).  I don't know what to expect from this club this year.  Looking around at sabrematrician sites, the consensus is eight or nine Wins but, because of regression from the Packers and Bears, they are prime contenders of winning the National Football Conference North and getting back to the playoffs.  Kirk Cousins and the reconstituted Offensive Line are the biggest questions marks going into the season.

Well, we're now one game into said season, and even though the former issue has not been solved, I feel encouraged by the latter.  They hosted and housed Atlanta 28-12 on Sunday.  All three Falcons Turnovers ended in Touchdowns, and a Blocked Punt in the First Quarter opened scoring with a Cousins-to-Adam Thielen TD.  So the defense (and special teams) were sensational, and as a result, Cousins didn't have to be: He attempted only ten passes and completed only eight of them for a total of 98 Yards.  Now, he did get sacked twice.  And come to think of it, the defense was called for three neutral-zone infraction Penalties, each of which resulted in a Falcons First Down.  And, yeah, they were shutting out Atlanta until the back half of the Fourth Quarter.  But I did not believe the Vikes were going to win, and I certainly don't believe they would romp like they did. Now, can they keep it up Sunday afternoon as they face the Packers in Lambeau?

#-2: Gopher football (Re-Entry!).  First of all, I should clarify myself.  Two weeks ago I teased that the University of Minnesota football team would be on the following week's survey, which was last week.  Well, I forgot that the club's season-opening opponent is South Dakota St., who is good but is a second-division school.  I don't count games against second-division schools.

So this week, in game two, is the first appearance of the Gopher footballers on the WMNSS this year.  And it was a fucking wild one.  Fulfilling the back end of a home-and-home series vs. Fresno St., the visiting Gophs tied up the contest with 46 Second left on a 20-Yard pass from Tanner Morgan to Chris Autman-Bell.  The U. got the ball first in college football's continually-contrived overtime procedure but eked out only a Field Goal.  These guys should not be losing to Fresno St., even on the road, so I thought they were bound to yield a Touchdown and the game.  But they didn't, even though the ending to this Game had a twist a movie would love.

Seriously, look at this.  This looks like a TD, right?



But look at Antoine Winfield, Jr., flying in from fuckin' nowhere to grab the ball and seal the win!  And ironically enough, he did the same thing in this matchup last year at TCF Bank Stadium -- an Interception to win the game for the Gophers. For his efforts, Winfield was named Big Ten Defensive Player Of The Week.

So these guys are on the survey until the end.  Next up is a home date Saturday afternoon against Georgia Southern who is a top-flight football team.  I checked.

#-3: Twins (Last Week: -1).  Hey, can I say something that needs to be said?  A few weeks ago, in conjunction with Major League Baseball announcing the 2020 schedule for all 30 teams, the Twins website got rid of the monthly look of their 2019 schedule, replacing it with a list format.  I hate that because I have to now scroll all the way to the bottom of the page to see last week's results.  Also in its place the "Schedule" tab has more options, none of which I need: "Broadcast," "Sortable," "Printable" and "Downloadable."  I don't need any of those fucking things!  I need the old monthly format back, with the big logos and colors denoting home and away games!  The fuck is this shit?

Anyway, a 3-3 screening week.  Taking two-of-three in Boston (the final game of that series ending with Eddie Rosario gunning down Rafael Devers at the plate to seal the 2-1 win), but following that up by losing two-of-three at home to Cleveland.  I thought that would happen.  Honest!  I just think that The Tribe is playing better baseball right now.  So thank Buddha, God and all the other deities above that the Twinks hold, as of press time, a five-Game lead on Cleveland.

But don't relax just yet.  The schedule appears to be the only reason they lead the division, and might win it.  But look at what comes up this week: Three at home vs. The Bastard Montreal Expos, who currently sit as NLWC1.  They then go to Cleveland for three Games before coming right back home to host the Chicago White Sox starting on Monday.  Meanwhile, Cleveland started a three-Game series in Anaheim last/Monday night and defeated the Angels, 6-2.  They have a travel day Thursday so they can fly back home at prepare for the Twins, and then have Monday off.  In conclusion: This race is not over, not just yet.

#-4: Lynx (Last Week: -3).  OK, so the Jynx didn't lose their final two Games on the road and fall to eighth in the WNBA like I speculated last week.  They crushed the Mercury in Phoenix Friday by 14, pushing them down to that eighth and final spot.  But the Lynx lost the season finale in Los Angeles to the Sparks, 77-68, ending their winning streak at five.

So Minnesota enters the playoffs as the seventh-seed, and thus play sixth-seeded (and defending champ) Seattle in Seattle Wednesday.  Remember that the WNBA has a stepladder/bowling set-up, where the teams seeded fifth through eighth play one game, then the winners play either the third- or fourth-seeds for just one game (that'll be on Sunday).  Semfinals and Finals are all best-three-out-of-five, but frankly, we don't need to worry about this team getting that far because they're losing to the Storm on Wednesday.

#-5: Gopher volleyball (Last Week: -4).  Don't know what to make of this team yet.  Got swept at Top 10-ranked Texas Wednesday; swept Top 10-ranked Florida at home Saturday.  Their 1-1 screening kept the Goofers at #8 on the AVCA Top 25.  The club is using as main Setter Kylie Miller, a Californian and Senior who transferred in the offseason after three seasons at UCLA.  The B1G named her as Setter Of The Week.

Upcoming: The Big Ten/Pac-12 Challenge, being held this weekend at Penn St.  They'll face Oregon and defending champion (and current #1) Stanford.

#-6: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -5).  The local team that has stumbled the most, and worst, is the college soccer club.  They had the home opener Thursday, but lost to Marquette, 1-0.  Then on Sunday they travelled to Virginia, which is ranked in the top five of the two polls I just checked.  I appreciate the ambition, but they lost 2-0.  So these young women are on a three-Game losing streak and still are winless on the season.  Their bona fides in getting an at-large bid for the NCAA Tournament is just about gone.The team's fourth and final week of non-conference play features home Matches vs. N. C. St. (Thursday) and South Dakota St. (Sunday).

It just took me a minute, several dozen attempts, and a change of browsers in order to get into Blogger so I could blog here on WAF.  It's not the first time; it's the second time, the first being either two days or three days before this.

I wonder if I should change my password, but I'm too lazy to try and remember another one.  But since I was given one of those weird, squishy, wavy words as another level of authentication, I don't know if I want to go through this shit again.  I could be entering my password wrong, but damn, this has never happened before. ...

Getting Busier

So I thought that I would be busy today (today being Sunday), but after going to work, I could relax.  Well, I would be doing other things after the Vikings game.  For one thing, there is a block party going on, and I thought I would skip dinner at the stadium to eat there.  And for another, I haven't been to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition) in a while, and I usually stop by and relax there after working Vikes games.  So, yeah, I'll be busy doing fun stuff.

But then I met an old friend at our game-viewing party.  And even though I think the alcohol probably prompted her to say it, she invited me to a trivia event at a craft brewery this (Sunday) evening, around the time I would hit the strip bar.  But … assuming that the trivia won't last long, I could skip dinner at Oooohssssssss-Baaaaanhk (or eat just a little bit), walk all the way to my car, drop off my stuff, hang out at the block party and nibble/chow down on more food, then use the light rail to get to the site of trivia night.  Finally, after that's all done, then I can go to the nudie club, a lot later than I would go there on Vikings nights.  That's a daunting list.  I'm exhausted just looking at what I wrote for my day after I wake up.

But you know what?  I think it'll be fun, and therefore it'll be worth it.

Yeah, I'm Just Working Overtime Whenever

So with the crush of people leaving jobs at work (and news flash: Two more people are leaving, including my immediate supervisor), I have been asked to do overtime.  And since this rash of, uh, leavings has gone on everywhere, we have been asked to fill in, well, everywhere.  That has incentivized me to work more because I could make more money, obviously.  But now that I think about it, I'm not sure I'm going about it the right way.

I stayed an extra half-hour Sunday, and I stayed an extra half-hour just last night (Friday) when I was filling in second shift.  Both were in filing, which, compared to all the other compartments, I believe can weather people leaving better than the others.  However, as in my main department of data entry, they have asked all of us who work there (both on a regular basis and on an as-needed basis, which I am) to chip in.  So I did.

Now, I'm not sure if I should have, you know, asked my boss if I could stay an extra half-hour beforehand.  He did give a general offer, and I took it.  However, I re-read what he specifically said, and he specifically said to do overtime during the workweek, and specifically-specifically Thursday evening and/or Friday morning.  Friday night doesn't qualify for the latter.  And late Sunday afternoon fails both conditions.  But I worked them, and I am going to, uh, feel entitled to the pay I get for working both half-hours.

So, instead of going to my boss and just talking about the matter, I'm just going to assume that it was OK to work OT when I really wasn't supposed to work OT.  Hey, maybe he won't notice.  Or maybe he doesn't care when I work overtime because he needs all the people he can get doing the work that's backing up.  But it would be just me to, you know, just … work whenever.  Hope I can get away with it.

I wanted to spend my morning at Caffetto leisurely going through the Internet.  But before yesterday evening My Fucking Mother once again nagged on me about her fucking miles, and I am scared as shit that it's now too late to get them.  So I tossed and turned before going to sleep, and I decided that I had to go to the library in the morning, just in case I needed to scan something.

Welp, here I am at the library, and best as I can tell, I didn't need to scan anything.  This isn't wasted time, but I've spent 90 minutes trying to straighten out just why in the fuck My Fucking Father has miles for some flights but My Fucking Mother doesn't.  I think I know why, but frankly, I want to get the hell out of here because I want to 1) stuff my face with fast food; 2) get a shave, and 3) get to work in time, where I'll probably be dead tired because I was at the library when in the morning when I really didn't want to be.

But hey, at least I got a workstation at the library with the soft, good headphones!

Expenses Without Receipts

Starting from Thursday, September 5:

• Not being to fall asleep right after a shower because my long hair hadn't dried had frustrated me to the point where I finally went to Great Clips to shave it all off.  Still haven't figured out exactly how much I should tip, but with tip it was (and I have a receipt, but in case I lose that): $19.
• Back to Monday, aka Labor Day, where I spent the afternoon going to the Minnesota State Fair one last time.  I love it so much I even paid full-price for a ticket at the stand there, something I didn't plan doing.  This was my fifth day there, and frankly, I could have gone a sixth because I didn't get to do everything I wanted to do.  Through almost three hours I ate my way down the bucket list -- fried pickles, Duck Drummies at Giggles, the Sno-Cone Waffle Sundae (the New Food Of The Fair for 2019 but in a very divided plurality, mind you) and Dessa's Night Drive ice cream at the Hamline Church Dining Hall, and finally a second helping of the sweet Berry-Go-Round sour at the Rathskeller and a lavender lemonade at the Farmers Union.  With tip for the sour I spent a whopping (but not sorry): $59.75.
• My fourth time at this year's Fair was Friday, August 30.  Got more new food I wanted to eat: the shrimp-and-grits fritters at Funky Grits and Red Hot Sausage from Tejas.  To drink I had a couple drinks I've had before and wanted again.  I think I have had the Mini-Donut beer from the Ball Park Cafe.  I know I Have had the Pina Colada from Manny's Tortas.  With tip for the beer I spent a total of: $30.50.
• To Thursday the 29th, where I went to Hooters because I really wanted to use that month's calendar coupon.  Got mozzarella sticks for free for purchasing an Angry Orchard and boneless wings.  I wanted a small beer, but the hot bartender gave me a big one.  Don't want to be swindled into an upcharge, no thank you.  With tip: $21.25.
• I also went to Hooters because ******e texted me out of the blue to say she was having a party close to the Mall Of America.  Now, I haven't seen her in a couple years.  Heard from a guy ******e probably serviced that she had a boyfriend.  Why then, out of the blue, did she invite me to a party?  Beats me, but she's a master cock-sucker, so even though it was a school night, I went down there.  Unfortunately, she got weird on me.  She let me fuck her for the first time ever, but she was very reluctant to suck my dick, and when I put my penis inside her vagina, she refused to kiss me.  She used to be so affectionate.  I only had time to see ******e, even though there were two other girls there, so payment to ******e plus cover equals: $170.

Good through September 5.

Not The Goddamn Miles Again ...

So I'm having dinner when Mother, as is her wont, asks me a question in her accusatory, nagging tone: "Did you get all my miles yet?"  And so we're harkening back to getting all those miles for trips my parents took pretty much last year on a bunch of partner airlines that I had to go back and forth with for a ton of bullshit.  And it was last night where, out of the blue, Mother thought she would revisit the subject.  I never felt I was fully done with the miles; honestly, there were follow-up requests for me to get more proof from those partner airlines, and I never followed through on them.

However, after showing my frustration with Mother fucking digging up old bones, she got onto the Internet and showed me what she was talking about.  There were miles for flights Father got that, for some reason, Mother did not get.  But there was something more disturbing.  Mother had boarding passes for, like, a dozen flights on their across-the-Pacific journey they took over the turn of the year.  I dutifully requested mileage for every one.  I received replies basically saying, "We got it, you will get your miles shortly," for some, but not all, of the flight segments.  And then, when I saw first Father's and then Mother's online mileage statements, there were the flights they took, but without any miles.  Now, I ran into a similar situation when I went to Hong Kong; even though I flew on partner airlines, apparently the code of ticket and seat I bought did not make me eligible for getting partner miles on them.  I suspect that's the case here; but if so, why didn't customer service get back to us saying that miles could not be accrued on those flights?

I really wasn't looking all that closely at my parents' statements because 1) I was bored and 2) I needed to log into my fantasy football leagues; drafts for both were last night, although I thank Buddha they did not overlap.  But seeing as I don't know which ones Father got miles for but Mother did not, and which ones neither got miles for, and that there were a dozen flights they took on this sojourn, I basically have to start from square one and see what I requested on my parents' behalf, for which flights the airline asked for information, and for which flights they eventually gave miles to, and whether it was for one or both parents.  That's a pain-in-the-ass to track back, and it's so confusing that I'm fucking tired thinking about it.  So I'm just going to take the L on this bad, harried day and hopefully I'll have a calmer soul and cleaner mind tomorrow so I can deal with this.

I'm Not At My Best Right Now

OK, so the following happened:

• I had faded dreams of actually registering for a class at the U. yesterday.  Did I research which class?  No.  I did go to the U. for first day of classes.  It has become a ritual of mine, seeing all the hot babes now half my age showing off their midriffs and going to the Student Union to get free food and stuff.  But did I register for a class?  No.  Yep -- another year of staying in place.
• Brought in my plastic bag from the car because it has my satellite radio in it.  I used the speaker a lot and it needs to be recharged, and I thought it'd be a good time to recharge it.  But when I looked into the bag, just now, it was totally empty.  Apparently I forgot it at work.  And now I am not totally certain that my radio, which I left on a desk to listen to Sunday, will still be there when I go into work this morning.  I swear I made a point to remember everything and, well, I didn't.
• Oh, and even though I shouldn't have, I was hungry, so just now I pounded through some chips.  OK, maybe more than some.  I need to wake up in five hours and I'll be going to sleep with processed food churning in my gut.

Yeah, I'm not at my best right now.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Twins (Last Week: -1).  The regular season isn't over yet, and I don't know if any lead is safe when it comes to a Twin Cities sports team.  But still, having a 5-1 screening week, while your main competitor, Cleveland, kept pace by sweeping host Detroit but then getting swept by host Tampa, thus opening up a 5 1/2-Game lead in the American League Central, is cause for some celebration.  Moreover, in the only loss of the week, which came on Saturday in Detroit (the Twins swept the White Sox in Chicago earlier in the week), the club set the record for my Home Runs by a team in a season.  The person to do it: Mitch Garver, in the top of the Ninth Inning.  The Twins broke the record set by the New York Yankees all the way back in 2018.  And people suspect that up to three other clubs will also surpass that mark by the time this year is over.  Yeah, HRs are no longer special.

The back half of the season is a gift because the Twins play so many contest against the three non-competitive teams in the A. L. Central.  This week will provide more formidable obstacles.  Tonight/Tuesday night they visit Boston for three.  Then over the weekend they come home to host, you guessed it, Cleveland.

#-2: United FC (Last Week: -4).  So I was going to the Brew Hall at Allianz Field because there was going to be a watch party for the U. S. Open Cup Final on Tuesday between our Loons and host Atlanta United, but there was no seat open, so I decided to walk on down to the Black Hart, which vows to always show a soccer match whenever there is one on the bar's cable or satellite system.  Of course they were going to show a match as important as the Open Cup Final -- and many people had the same idea, as it was almost as packed there as it was about half a mile away.  Still, it would have been nice to have sound for the whole game, not just the Second Half.  There are kinks to still be worked out there; for example, they could use TVs that synced up together.  And they could use better TVs.

Anyway, the 2-1 loss to the Five Stripes is further evidence that our most-hated rival is ATLUTD.  I won't call it a rivalry, though.  We don't have anybody else, at least for now.  (Chicago?  Colorado?  Kansas City is being shoved down our throats, but nah.)  What we do have is a team that was birthed into MLS at the same time, at which point the resources, and therefore outlook, of both teams shot in very different directions.  MNUFC has struggled, only finding its footing this year because of pre-determined spending limits; Arthur Blank decided to leave no expense expensed and has consistently fielded a great, Yankees-like team, which resulted in the MLS Cup last year.  Beyond that, remember that United FC's first-ever top-flight home Game resulted in a 6-1 beatdown by them, and you can see a path of ass-kicking that should be remembered the next time(s) the XI sees them.  As Dan Le Batard once said, a hammer and a nail don't have a rivalry.  But this is what we've got.

Since Adrian Heath apparently went all-in on winning Tuesday night's Game, it felt as though the cupboard would be totally bare when the squad returned to MLS play Sunday night against the Los Angeles Football Club.  A road game against the best team in the league by a mile, who hasn't lost at home yet, five nights after getting exhausted losing a nail-biter in the most important Game in the franchise's history?  I was praying they wouldn't get laughed out of Banc Of California Stadium.  But they weren't.  Mason Toye saw to that, scoring from an acute angle and then chipping in a howitzer from deep in the First Half, and the defense parked the bus in the Second Half, contributing to a 2-0 and three Points no one thought they were going to get.  The race in the Western Conference is going to be a wild one; essentially stealing Points, and getting them to third place for the moment, is a skin that will help them ensure a playoff spot, if not a playoff game at home.

The team hosts a friendly against Liga MX's Pachuca Saturday.  (Bought a ticket not realizing I have a college football game to organize later that night; I'll skip out after Halftime.)  But everybody's on an international break, so no entry for next week.

#-3: Lynx (Last Week: -2).  They've looked this good before, only to face tougher opponents on the road and lose resoundingly.  And it should be noted that they've won their last four Games while playing all of them in Target Center.  Nevertheless, the Lynx did beat Chicago and Indiana, both by eight-Point margins.  And they now sit in sixth place overall, thereby granting them a home playoff Game in the First Round (presuming the WNBA still has the bowling "stepladder" playoff format they introduced not too long ago).  This is a completely different team, so the realistic question is how good this club can be with its new composition.

Sunday's victory over the Fever was the Lynx's last at Target.  They finish the regular season at Phoenix and Los Angeles -- which, if form holds, means they'll finish the year on a two-Game losing streak.

#-4: Gopher volleyball (Re-Entry!).  Look, I'm gonna tell y'all right now: I will not be rational when it comes to evaluating this program's screening weeks, at least for the time being.  I have rooted for this team ever seen I came back from college, and while they have knocked on the door, they have never won an NCAA championship.  Last year was their chance; they were the overall #2 seed in the field, and the Final Four was being held at Target Center.  But they didn't win.  They didn't even reach the title game.  They didn't even make it to the Final Four.  In fact, they didn't even reach the Regional Final held at Maturi Pavilion.  They crashed out of the Sweet Sixteen -- and in four sets at that!  I was pissed off then and I am just as pissed off now, so no, I will give no quarter to these players … well, until they win it all, or until I no longer am furious.

But that is not this week.  And by the way, this team opened the season with two neutral site Games as part of the B1G/ACC Challenge.  They swept North Carolina, but then got swept by Florida St.  Now how in the fuck are you the preseason #3 ranked team in the polls and not only lose but get swept?!  How fucking unacceptable.

This week they play a pair of Games.  They are at Texas Wednesday.  They then host Florida Saturday night.

#-5: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -3).  And as much as I want to excoriate the volleyballers, I cannot ignore the fact that the college soccer team has yet to win yet this year.  This past week they were in a tournament in Oxford, Miss., and they tied Arkansas at 1 Thursday but lost 3-2 to host Ole Miss on a Golden Goal in the 109th Minute.  Is it possible that this team is just not good?  On Thursday they finally open up the home portion of their regular season versus Marquette, but Sunday they boomerang back out on the road to visit Virginia.

So I woke up, around 10:30, to the sound of my parents coming in, stomping their feet up the stairs and clanging every pot and pan in the kitchen.  I don't know what the hell they're clamoring about this Labor Day, but it was more than enough to wake me up.  I don't understand the tone of what they're doing, but frankly, I am intimidated by what they're doing and, to be more specific, what they would see if I left my bedroom and once I leave the house to go to the State Fair one last time.

To hell with it.  Let's see what happens.

Sooooooooooooooooooo Tiiiiiiiiiiiiiired

Late game start, got home a bit past 1:30, stayed up on the Internet till 2 … and I'm up now because I have to get to work (filling in for someone who left) at 7.  Plus there's overtime, and since I don't think I want to see my asshole brother unless I absolutely have to (he and his family are coming over for dinner), I might stay at work an extra half-hour and come home at 4:30.  Hopefully it won't be excruciating, and I hope it'll be over at some point in the evening, because I know I will hit the bed, dead tired, at some point soon after eating.

And to think I'll do this all over again next Saturday/Sunday, with the complication that I don't know when I'll need to report for the Vikings game, and thus don't know when I'll need to wake up next Sunday morning.  Ugh.