Thursday, August 31, 2023

I Think My Fellow Alums Don't Like Me Much Right Now

So I run this e-mail list where I promote our game-watching events for football season.  Well, one of them, who I have met in person but haven't seen in years, complained to me that one of my e-mails led to a phishing e-mail from one of the people I e-mailed.  She wanted me, rightly, to look into it and make sure I delete that e-mail address.  One problem: I don't see that e-mail address on my list.  I don't know where that came from.

What do I do now?  I want to help, but I don't know how, especially since this didn't look like I had anything to do with it.  I thought about asking her to forward this phish to me, but that would mean I would get phished, wouldn't I?  What concerns me is whether she continues to believe I bear some responsibility.  Again, I want to be a man about this, but I don't want to take blame if it's not my fault -- and I don't think it is.  To be continued, I guess.

---

Meanwhile, I ran into another fellow alum at last/Wednesday night's United FC Match.  I actually saw him first in passing on the concourse, but I don't think he recognized me, and I couldn't remember his name until he passed me by.

But then, as I was sitting in my seat, I saw him again.  He was going to his seat which was just a couple rows ahead of me.  I shouted his name at him and we chatted very briefly, about a minute.  I stammered through what I said, which consisted of "Hi" and "How ya doin'?"  I said I'd let him go to watch the rest of the Match (which was about go to Halftime, great timing there) and that I'd catch up with him to say goodbye, presumably, after the Match was over.  But when the Match was over, he and his son bolted up and went down the stairs.  I screamed at him goodbye, but even with the loudness of the place as the fans were about to sing "Wonderwall," I don't know how he didn't hear me.  Maybe he didn't.  Or maybe he heard something about me he didn't like, and that's why he hasn't said anything to me for the past several years.

Maybe I'll try and reach out to him and say it was nice running into him.  Or, maybe that's not the smart thing to do 'cause he doesn't want me to reach out to him.

Wednesday, August 30, 2023

And Now My Long Vacation Begins ... Sorta

I am off work until Tuesday.  But that doesn't mean I'm not working.  I was able to sign up with a study with the U., one that I had participated in in the past.  I was leaving this week open in case I could latch onto a gig working the Gophers Game, but it just so happened that the research group had spots open this week; if I couldn't make it, I would have had to wait until October.  I don't think I would be paid as much as I would have if I worked the football Game, plus I only get paid on the debit card the university issues.  But it's real nice money (today and tomorrow, a total of nine hours) for lying in a tube and doing games and mental exercises.

Still, I have to get up in the morning to get there today and tomorrow/Thursday (assuming the production doesn't beg me for help Thursday; then things will get different).  I plan on going straight from the experiment on Thursday to the State Fair; hope I get Duran Duran tickets.  Friday is my off day; I will get up late, but I need to go to this bar to see if they'll let us watch our alma mater's football Game Saturday night, then I have an appointment with this allergist specialist, and I just realized that the reason I am seeing this person is because of what I think is an abscess that may or may not exist in my sinus cavity since I thought I saw it in a dental x-ray at least two decades ago.  In other words, I might not know what I'm talking about, I might not know why I am going there, and I might be wasting this person's time.  But I'm sticking with the appointment because I needed to make this at least three or four months ago.  I need to make an appointment with some allergist three-to-four months ahead of time??  It's an allergist!!

Saturday's the Game, and even though I don't think there's much to worry about, I have to worry about getting the word out about our party and then I have to file a report about it afterward.  Sunday is free until I have not one but two fantasy football drafts in the evening, and I should be taking some part of my vacation working on research.  Monday I take one final go-around at the Fair (hopefully I won't die; it'll be in the mid-to-upper-nineties on Labor Day).  And then my vacation is over!  And looking back at what I plan on doing, it's not much of a vacation!

Tuesday, August 29, 2023

Just between you and me, I haven't been feeling great lately.  It goes beyond the bloat I feel from eating too much, something that won't be alleviated because I'm hitting the State Fair a couple more times before it's gone.  But I've been coughing some too, and I've been blowing my nose more often as well.  I hear allergies are kicking up, and August is the time I get my second wave of it (mostly from ragweed, even though I don't know if ragweed levels are up right now).

Do you know what's also kicking up?  COVID.  I have been kind of loose with the precautions (asshole at the Fair aside), so I easily could've gotten it.  Man, I wish I could get a new vaccine.  Well, if it's too late, I hope I'm healthy enough to live through it.

Monday, August 28, 2023

To The Mediocre White Guy Who Shouted "COVID's Over!" To Me At The State Fair:

First of all, asshole, mind your own fuckin' business.  And second of all, you're probably one of those assholes who doesn't watch the news, because COVID's fucking back.

You think you're so goddamn clever when you shout that to me?  I flashed you the finger, and goddamn it, how I hate bullies like you getting under my skin.  All my life I've never been able to be free of you motherfuckers.  I hope you get COVID and die, you piece of shit.  I really do.

Sunday, August 27, 2023

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher volleyball (NEW SEASON!).  Starting off on the right foot, taking both of their Matches in the season-opening Big Ten/Big 12 Challenge at Maturi Pavilion this weekend.  Somewhat surprisingly, the Gophers had a tougher time with unraked TCU Friday, which took the First Set before the U. took the last three, than with 15th-ranked Baylor last/Saturday night, which was a 20-21-11 sweep.

There was an extensive preview of the season by the Star Tribune earlier last Week, even though I did not either read the article or listen to the accompanying podcast.  In either one of those sources of information (or both, who knows), the team talks about the trauma of last season.  Is that trauma just the announcement of Hugh McCutcheon stepping down as Head Coach?  Because even though his resignation was a bombshell, I would think there would be more than that for last season to qualify as "trauma."  Regardless, early word from fanatics in the chatroom is that the sky's the limit with this squad.  Hope so; I am waiting for this program to finally fucking win a championship.

They host Texas Tuesday.  They started the season ranked #1, but lost in four Sets in their first Game of the Year to, of all programs, Long Beach St. Friday night.  Maybe they'll be playing with a vengeance to make up for that embarrassment.  Would love to go, but I have a feeling they'll be sold out.

#-2: Twins (Last Week: -1).  A 3-3 Week.  Nipped Pittsburgh at Target last Sunday, 2-0, then got dog-walked in a two-Game sweep by the Brewers in Milwaukee.  In Wednesday's Loss, the Twins scored a Run in the top of the Tenth Inning only to cough up two Runs -- both unearned -- to the Brewers in the bottom half.  They have since righted themselves by taking two-of-three in their four-Game series at home vs. The Bastard Washington Senators v.2.0, although last/Saturday night's 6-2 defeat snapped the Rangers' losing streak at eight.

That middling screening Week cost them the top spot in this Week's WMNSS, but the reason they're second is that their postseason prospects get better and better.  While the Twins have been so-so lately, second-place Cleveland has dropped like a rock, going 3-7 in their last ten.  Therefore, Minnesota has a six-Game lead on the Guardians for the Division, as large a lead the Twins have enjoyed all Year.  Who cares if Griffin Jax came in to start the Ninth in last/Saturday night's contest and give up four Earned Runs?  (I care, but it doesn't seem likely that piss-poor performance is going to cost the ballclub a postseason birth.)

One more vs. Texas, then the Guardians come to town for three beginning tomorrow/Monday.  They then go to Dallas for a trio starting on Friday.

#-3: United FC (Re-Entry!).  Read an article in The Athletic about how the Loons' Offense is firing on all cylinders now that Emanuel Reynoso has returned to the squad.  The rejoinder to that is that they resumed league play still out of a playoff spot.  And even though they went to the Mets' Stadium and beat NYCFC last Sunday night 2-0 (and by the way, it's so weird to see a soccer Pitch implanted on a baseball diamond.  I think it stretched between both foul territories.  Shades of the old Oakland-Alameda Coliseum, when the Oakland Raiders would march across the gridiron and you would see the infield diamond once they got to one of the Red Zones), they still, right now, are out of a playoff spot.  Reynoso makes a difference, but not enough to overcome this Side's propensity to blew leads all season.  The Defense remains an overlooked liability.

And yet there are opportunities to climb the Western Conference standings because it will be as busy a screening Week as a soccer club can have.  This/Sunday afternoon they host tormentor Seattle.  Wednesday they host Colorado.  Saturday they visit San Jose.

#-4: Lynx (Last Week: -2).  Lost at home to downtrodden Seattle Sunday by 14, then took both ends of a home-and-home midweek versus The Bastard Detroit Shock (the first meeting, at Target Center Tuesday, was marred by an injury late in the Game to Dallas's Satou Sabally, who called us out because three Lynx fans heckled her and then got thrown out; by the way, the Lynx enjoyed a late lead and were about to give the Game away courtesy of a five-Point trip that happened shortly after the Sabally injury), then got throttled at home last/Saturday night by New York by 35.  And yet they continue to rise up the standings -- 5th overall as of press time even though they are 17-18 (when Las Vegas is 30-5 and the Liberty is 27-7, where a .500 record will land you gets real skewed).  I've gotten in fact a little encouraged by their play, but no, they would have been better of tanking.

The Lynx are going to sew up a playoff spot soon.  There are only five Games left in the regular season, so they just might fall backwards into one.  This Week: At Washington Tuesday, home to Atlanta Friday.

#-5: Gopher soccer (Last Week: -3).  Still going through their non-conference schedule filled mostly with tomato cans.  But after crushing New Hampshire at Robbie last Sunday, 4-0, they go to Brew City and lose, 1-0, to Wisconsin-Milwaukee on Thursday.  Really?

Wouldn't you know it, they are in the middle of a stretch where they play five-of-six Matches on the road.  This is their non-con sched, by the way.  They stay in Milwaukee to play against Marquette this/Sunday afternoon.  The XI then play at Georgia Thursday.

Saturday, August 26, 2023

Last Friday, when I had that, uh, situation with getting into my screening, when I finally was able to get into my blood screening, one of the things the lab technician made me do was hold one end of a tape measure to get my waist.  I am 38 inches round.  Hearing that made my heart sink.

Last/Friday night I went to St. Paul to check out the restaurant which will have our alma mater's Game on.  Thought I would let them know how serious I am about giving them my (and hopefully our) business, I opted for their prime rib dinner.  And I'm glad I finished it, even though it took me time, but I felt every single damn calorie of that thing, great as it was.  But that may just be the green khakis that I am wearing for the week.

I keep noticing my belly bulging through my shirts more and more.  I think I've said before that I started getting fat at least a decade ago, and probably long before then.  But between the waist measurement and not getting into my tight khakis comfortably and eating last night, yeah, I'm getting fat.  And I feel I am getting fatter, and I feel like I'm gaining weight.

(sigh)

Friday, August 25, 2023

Weird Communication And No Communication

I don't want to talk anymore about doing overtime after work, even though a bunch of fucking bullshit came in in the afternoon that forced me to stay ten hours, and I know that'll really piss off my boss, but I can't blog post about that again because unless my boss does or says something, nothing's really happening and so I am just boring you, but still, I need to vent at how all this is stressing me out. ...

Anyway, I want to talk about two other things.  It's been months since I've spoken to my shrink, even though I have tried to set up times and he has blown through them.  In the meantime he has texted me these strange and nonsensical texts that taken individually seems like an innocent case of pocket dialing but taken together, frankly, is starting to sound like a man stricken with Alzheimer's Disease.  Last week I had a few days off and I texted him to see if we can talk.  He didn't get back to me till earlier this week, and he texted me these bloops and bleeps.  They weren't even words, man.  I'm starting to get really worried -- not only that he is not well, but that I don't know if I want to talk to him anymore.  In the meantime I have tried to loop his assistant back in; maybe she can make sense of all this.

Also, just because, I texted my sister-in-law to say hi.  She hasn't texted back.  She has never given me the silent treatment.  That makes me think her marriage to my brother is on the rocks.  Fucking greeeeeat.

Thursday, August 24, 2023

Man, my boss is going to be so pissed.  After being able to cut out on time on several occasions, this week has been a consistent late slog.  Work that has come in in the mid-afternoon has ruined any chance of me getting done when my eight hours are up.  I have worked late all three days so far this workweek, each time lasting till at least 5.  Overtime is a given, and that is going to be a huge red flag for him, if he doesn't know already.

I really don't want to care.  I am doing my job, and if the forms and the calls come in in the afternoon, I can't just fucking leave at 4:30 without finishing the work.  My boss possibly thinks I can.  He doesn't know.  He is only looking at the bottom line, but he doesn't know.

May not be the smartest thing, then, to leave him an e-mail just before I left work last/Wednesday evening about two relatively minor things: Changing my voicemail password and requesting time off when a lot of people are already gone.  But that's what a boss should care about ... and then not caring about whether his star employee is doing all he can to do the work as accurately and completely as possible; I am taking care of that.  But everything else?  Yeah, that's what he should be caring about at work.

Yep, he's gonna be pissed.

Wednesday, August 23, 2023

Went from work to the Lynx Game.  Exciting one; Minnesota was in control before Dallas got a five-Point trip based on a Flagrant Foul call.  But the Lynx survived.  Anyway, after I stopped by Pizza Luce to eat and beat the heat, I got home, felt real tired, went to bed at 10:30 ... and woke up with the alarm at 7.

First time in a long time I had a proper rest of a length of time I'm supposed to rest.  And the first time I was able to sleep through the night, too.  So what if I'm back down to Day 1/10% at Zynga Poker -- I feel refreshed now!  And since they're giving away ice cream at work today (what timing!), I can probably eat the ice cream during my "lunch" and not worry about it cutting into my rest time.

Good day ... hopefully!

Tuesday, August 22, 2023

Respite Before The Heat

So it's supposed to be dangerously hot starting today and through Thursday.  When you get down to the particulars, Thursday is going to be hot, but not hot-hot like today and tomorrow.  The weatherpeople saw this coming and warned us, but I've seen forecasts where today is supposed to be worse than tomorrow and others where it's the other way around.

Regardless, the heat and the humidity (I think a heat dome is sitting in the middle of the country; there is an oval Excessive Heat Warning covering 15 states right dead center of the U.S.) is going to make things shitty for the next 48, possibly 72 hours.  Which made yesterday/Monday a relative manna from heaven.  Except for, like, 15 minutes in the morning, the weather was overcast.  It officially hit 80 at MSP, so it must have been in the seventies all day at work.  And since it was cloudy and the dewpoint (I think) was in the manageable low sixties, it wasn't as hot or as toasty as I feared it would be.  In fact, the clouds made it feel kind of cold.  It was warm-ish in the car when I took my cat nap, but when I made the decision to keep the windows up I was afraid I'd be sweating the whole half-hour, and I didn't.  I slept ... well, for about ten minutes when I got woken up by a phone call.

I shall try and cherish yesterday, because the next two-to-three days will seem like hell on earth.

Monday, August 21, 2023

Password Fatigue

You've been through resetting your password, right -- either because you forgot or because the site says it's time?  Well, a few days ago I had to change my password for this, uh, work-related website.  And it got complicated because either I set up two-way authentication or the website forced me to.  Anyway, I also forgot the password, so for a good, oh, 60 minutes over the course of two days I was toggling between my phone and my laptop, clicking "Forgot password?" then "Send code," in order to put in a new password.

And when I get to picking a new password ... I couldn't think of one.  I can never think of one.  They're hard!  And I dread whenever I need to pick a new one because I'm not ... creative like that.  I can't just make one out of thin air.  You know they say that the best passwords are the ones you remember?  I don't know how picking random characters (or a random series of words) will help me remember.  And that is why it's so damn agonizing for me.

I have a password manager I have downloaded, Bitwarden.  I actually downloaded it months ago, but I haven't even opened it, let alone set up an account or asked for it to, uh, manage my passwords.  I looked at a tutorial on how to use it, and it was damn confusing.  I might need to watch it again, but it might not help.  I am really scared as to how it'll, like, sync up the passwords when I use an app and when I go on its analogous website on my computer.  Finally, I am very, very scared that the whole thing won't work and that will leave me unable to access all the places where I need to put in a username and password.  And so I'm "stuck" with the passwords I may or may not remember for each and every single website that requires one.

For this work-related website I had an out.  Turns out that the password I needed to make up doesn't need special characters.  That helps a lot, put it that way.  And I made one up and everything is fine ... even though I needed to get in there for an online tutorial last week that got delayed because their PowerPoint presentation went up in smoke or something.  By the time they reschedule that Zoom, I probably will have forgotten that new password.  FML.

Sunday, August 20, 2023

Not At My Best Friday

I admit I was not at my best when I got to my screening Friday.  I was asked if I had my "order," apparently a piece of paper that I was supposed to take with me to the screening.  I was not aware I had to bring one.  I wasn't even aware that there was one.  The technician who helped me thought I had it in my e-mail; the only thing I could even come up with (and this was after I logged onto my work e-mail from my phone, something I never thought I would ever do) was a confirmation number for my appointment, and that wasn't even close.

Perplexed, seeing that my best laid plans of going to Al's Breakfast immediately after this to break my fast were ruined, and not knowing what to do, I literally bolted out of there without even acknowledging her.  I was not having it right then and there.  And although I didn't want to, my only recourse was to go to work (which, thankfully, was about five minutes away), log onto a computer, and literally go to the website where I made the appointment to see what the hell kind of "order" she was talking about.

Although I had a computer free, my supervisor thought it better to let me use hers because it was already turned on.  And she helped me find what turned out to be this "order" since, well, it had an order number, or something.  I drove back (this took me about ten minutes), hurriedly knocked on the door, showed her this sheet and the technician went, "Yep, that's it!"

And ... everything was fine.  Everything.  Well, I was an hour late, and so maybe there wouldn't have been a line to Al's Breakfast, but maybe there would have.  But I got done what I needed to get done.  Hell, I even believe my blood pressure was below 120/80, and that was after I got pissed off and drove back-and-forth.

So ... crap, an apology was in order.  I apologized to the technician for my behavior.  She said forget it.  She shouldn't.  She has a right to fucking hate for the rest of my life because I was one of those horrible customers that makes a front-facing worker's life miserable.  And for what?  Also, and I don't quite want to admit this, when I saw this "order" I had to present and show to the technician ... I kind of remember printing one out in a previous year.  I don't remember a technician taking it, but I think I at least brought it, which means I have been aware in the past of an "order" I need to take whenever I have a screening.  Which means I blew up at her for something I should have known.

To be fair, I don't think I would have been so calm if I hadn't found this "order," and not have found it so quickly.  Thank Buddha, then, for my supervisor for letting me get on her computer and for helping me find what I need to find.  I still gristle at any criticism she gives me, and I will continue to do so.  But she answers my questions at work so I can do my job.  And whenever I'm in a bind, where I am as upset as I said I was when I bogarted her computer, I can't think of anyone who can help me better.

Once again, if I didn't find this "order," or if I had to go to some damn library to print it up, thereby pushing my screening back another hour where I have to wait behind a bunch of other people (oh yeah -- when I came back, there was no line, another good break that extinguished my temper), I would not have been so sanguine about the whole situation, and I don't think I would be so apologetic now.  But when I was running around feeling like I got screwed, it never occurred to me that things could work out.  And they did, easily.  So maybe, instead of losing my temper, I should just fix the fucking problem -- one I probably made.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

I failed to notice for last Week's WMNSS that the fallow season had ended.  Gopher soccer (and since there is no men's soccer club at the U., I think, if I had not done so before, that I will refer to that squad as "Gopher soccer," since there is no need for differentiation) started last Week, so more and more teams are going to get added until the spring.

#-1: Twins (Last Week: -1).  In what may be the most pedestrian workweek a baseball team can have in the middle of their regular season, the Twins played only five Games.  Unfortunately, they went only 3-2, punctuated last/Saturday night by a 7-4 home Loss to Pittsburgh where Sonny Gray, deemed to be a prime Cy Young candidate, continued his pattern of being brilliant through five Innings, then getting dressed down in one particularly bad Inning soon thereafter.  Last/Saturday night it was the Sixth, wherein he coughed up three Runs that hung the Loss around his neck.

So why do they take the top spot in this Week's survey when the two teams below them went undefeated during their screening Weeks (although to be fair both squads played only one Game)?  They currently are five Games ahead of Cleveland in the Division.  And while I have plenty of doubts they'll contend for the World Series (even though they may be more equipped to do so this Year than in previous Years -- I might get to that some other time), after their September collapse last season, I want these guys to prove they can reach the postseason.  It's putrid competition they're facing, and the Guardians are finally falling off the face of the earth after their selling spree, but I'm getting a little more confident they'll wrap up the decision, the results of this Week excepted.

After finishing up with the Pirates this/Sunday afternoon, they have a mid-Week two-free at Milwaukee Tuesday and Wednesday.  They then immediately come home to start a four-Game series against The Bastard Washington Senators v.2.0.  Texas will be stiff competition, however the Twins are in a chunk of the schedule where they play 12 of 14 Games at Target Field.  They should -- should take advantage of this.

#-2: Lynx (Last Week: -2).  They had eight Days to prepare for their only Game this Week, at Seattle on Friday.  There was no All-Star break or anything, it was just a ... break.  And in a contest you could watch for free (well, you have to buy a TV and an antenna) on ION, the Lynx held off the Storm in Seattle, 78-70.  They're now in sixth place in the WNBA, and while they are "only" three Games up on ninth-place Chicago, I am resigned to the fact that the 15-16 Lynx are going to make the playoffs and lose out on moving up in the order for The Most Target-Rich WNBA Draft Possibly Ever.  I'm not OK with that -- it is very easy to think like a CEO and decide you should nuke your roster in order to get Minnesotan Paige Bueckers, and I know the Lynx have thought about that scenario -- but I have made my peace with it.

Busy screening Week: The return date for the home-and-home vs. the Storm is this/Sunday evening.  They then have another home-and-home versus The Bastard Detroit Shock; Tuesday's is at Target Center (and my friend just got me a ticket for that!), Thursday's is in Big D.  Finally, on Saturday they will host New York.

#-3: Gopher soccer (NEW SEASON!).  Believe it or not, the Twin Cities is a fertile area for coverage of local soccer -- not just the U., but St. Thomas, Aurora, lower-level semi-pro leagues, even stories about events and the culture in the area.  I want to point out two: Sota Soccer and Equal Time Soccer.  The former concentrates on United FC, the latter exclusively covers women's soccer in Minnesota.  And they both can be supported on Patreon.

I checked Equal Time Soccer on any preview for the University of Minnesota women's soccer club, which started their 30th season Thursday.  This is where I saw women's soccer (or "woso") maven Chris Henderson's tweet that he projects the Golden Gophers to finish eighth in the Big Ten.  Not bad.  That projection might get them into the NCAA Tournament.

Their season started with a bang, taking out Niagara, 5-1, with Megan Nemec bracing.  Beating the Purple Eagles may not be much of a feat -- Niagara went to St. Paul yesterday/Saturday afternoon and got drilled by St. Thomas, 7-0 -- but hey, a Win's a Win.  This/Sunday afternoon they are at Robbie Stadium versus New Hampshire.  They then go to Milwaukee to play two Matches, the first Thursday vs. Wisconsin-Milwaukee.

Saturday, August 19, 2023

Were They Fighting Over Me?

So I finished my dinner while my parents did their post-dinner walk around the neighborhood.  I put my dishes next to the sink and then went into the bathroom because nature was calling.

I swear I really, really needed to go; either it was the Hooters boneless wings (and by the way, I saw my favorite Hooters waitress back at work for the first time in months!!!) or the Dairy Queen chocolate shake that prompted my bowel movement.  But I will be honest with you: I have seen my folks walk around the block often enough I can time when they're coming home.  I swear that once I was done in the bathroom, however long it would take, if they hadn't come home by then or if they came home and they decided not to do the dishes, I would have done the dishes.  But I figured that they would come home while I was in the bathroom, and that they would do the dishes.

And they did.  And yeah, I was grateful; I think getting up in the morning when I didn't have to go to work (but went to get my blood drawn instead) drained me of any energy I had in the day, and I got "slangry," or "tirangry."  Anyway, as I hear the water running and the silverware and plates clanging in the kitchen, my parents begin to argue.  And I still hate that I refused to learn Chinese when I was young because I couldn't make out much.  But I could pick out some, a little more than I usually can when they argue (and, by the way, they haven't argued a whole lot since they came home).  I think they were arguing over ... me.  I heard, "I gave him some vegetables to eat!" and ... well, if there was other stuff I picked up I forgot.  But that "I gave him some vegetables to eat!" crack came in loud and clear.  I just am not totally certain they were arguing over me not washing my dishes, or if they were arguing over something about me eating or not eating something, or if they were arguing over me about something else, or, really, if they were really arguing over me at all.

If my parents are upset at each other, they're not showing it now as we just had breakfast.  And if they are mad at me, well, they're doing their best to hide it and are waiting to come at me at a future date.

Friday, August 18, 2023

Trying To Be A Good Boy So I Can Get A Break On My Health Insurance

My screening is in the morning.  I am doing my damnedest to stay within my self as I fast, but either I'm so bored or so manic with hunger pains that my mind is racing in a hundred different directions as I write this.  Damn, I could use a croissant right now.  I'm just dreaming of Al's Breakfast and Hooters after I get my blood tapped.

This screening is for work.  The results of my blood will partially decide whether I get a break for my health insurance.  Things have changed when it comes to that, unfortunately.  Before, you only needed to clear two hurdles: Signing an attestation saying that you don't smoke, and having a BMI below a certain threshold.  I could clear both of those in my sleep (and heck, even if I were a smoker, couldn't I just lie and attest that I don't smoke?)  Starting now, there are three additional measurements they're looking at: Blood pressure, cholesterol, and A1C.  And to get that insurance discount, you now need to "win" three out of the five.

I've been above the universally-regarded normal BP of 120/80 for years now, so that's out.  I've been looking at my results from my visits to my doctor, and I can't find a test for A1C, so who knows if I'm under it or not?  And my cholesterol level was treading in the downward/right direction when I last got it checked, in November, but before I was perilously close to 200.  So, there's a possibility that I "fail" all three of these new metrics.  I could still get a discount at that point, but I'd have to sign up for some diversionary program offered by the health insurance company, and I know part of my paycheck is already paying for that, so that kind of feels like trying to make friends with your bully.  Besides, I don't want to let things get that far.

And so I am in the middle of doing things that I hope will bring down my blood pressure, A1C and cholesterol.  I took yesterday off to eat a healthy lunch (a salad with nuts and avocado and a nopales [that's a cactus] taco) at Centro (albeit with a gin and tonic -- but hey, no calories!), and then I exercised.  Will these concerted efforts help get my levels down?  Probably not.  I should have started this "cutting weight" a couple weeks ago, or better yet, maybe I could just start eating less and eating better as a lifestyle.  But hey, I'm doing it.

I also got a massage after exercising.  (Wanted to take a shower at home before going to the salon, but apparently my masseuse had so many cancellations the salon left me a message to see if I wanted to move up my evening appointment.  I feel as though they were strongly encouraging me to.  But I was starting my workout, and I need to be active for the next day's blood draw, so I compromised and went there straight from the community center.  Doesn't feel great to get a massage when you're all sweaty.)  I want to think that getting all the toxins out of my body will somehow lower my weight and cholesterol.  Doing this also meant I skipped the big dinner Mother inevitably would have otherwise made; I had water, yogurt and a banana instead, and that's a healthy meal, right?  

Finally, getting rubbed down really takes the edge off of you.  I wanted to glide on that good feeling as I went home and, best case scenario, just lay in bed, or fall asleep until I had to go the blood panel.  That was my strategy in hopefully getting my blood pressure below 120/80.  I figure that BP is the easiest of the three goals to manipulate 24 hours before the draw (and maybe the only one), so that if I do hit that mark, the A1C and the cholesterol level wouldn't matter.  That was working until the drive home, when I got stuck behind a slow car.  I looked at the lane next to me.  It was clear.  I went over, but just as I did, a truck did the same, and my damn heart jumped.  And then my temper flared up even more as I failed to make the light to turn left and eventually to home.

I still catch myself having these violent fantasies where I'm beating up bullies, and of all the times I can't have this red mist descend over me, this is the worst.  I need to be calm, relaxed, Zen.  That's the best way to get my blood pressure down and hopefully qualify for this discount.  But maybe I'm going to let myself down.  Hope not.

Thursday, August 17, 2023

Hottest Babe In The Hooters Calendar: July 2023

It may be because I don't have it displayed on my wall because my parents are home, but as I have just taken it out to look at the month, it's not a great month.  I do have several favorites, even though I think that if I were doing this tomorrow night, I might change my mind.  In any event:

In fourth place is Ari, out of Loveland, Colo.  For the month of July, surprisingly, she is one of only two babes sporting American flag-themed swimsuits.  She's also wearing a cowboy hat, the most secure province of trashiness, even though it is a branded with the Hooters logo.  She's doing the thing where she's tugging the string in the middle of her bikini top that holds both sides of her top together.

In fourth place is Caitlin, hailing from North Tampa, Fla.  It is rare for me to recognize a Hooters waitress wearing a one-piece bikini.  But she's gorgeous, has got great wavy brown hair, and unlike most of the other girls in the month, she's smiling.  That stands out for me in July '23.  Oh, and she has her hands on her hips in her photo; I like that sign of domination.

In second place is Caroline, representing Mesa, Ariz.  Long, black hair, wearing a solid blue two-piece.  Like how her right arm is sitting on top of her head.  I love her milky white skin.  Only drawback: Her mouth is muted, like she's trying too hard to come off as indifferent.  No matter; all her other features significantly cancel that out.

Finally, in first place is Brandi, of San Marcos, Calif.  Luscious long, wavy blonde hair.  Blue bikini top, and she's the other woman here commemorating the 4th of July by sporting an Americana-themed bottom.  She's got a nice body, but I love her coy smile.

Congratulations to those four, and I will masturbate to them at some point.  But I want to point out one other Hooters waitress.  She is Madeline, of Tucson, Ariz.  I would have recognized her; this dark-haired beauty is wearing a red two-piece bikini that has all these straps that wrap around her hot torso.  But I noticed a black ribbon on the lower-right corner of her picture.  A black ribbon?  This is unbelievable, but it appears as though Madeline died July 26 of last year.  Her Instagram leads to a GoFundMe for her funeral services, and there is a Facebook post on the Arizona Hooters page from September commemorating her.  So apparently she posed for the calendar (I'm guessing around the holidays spanning 2021 and 2022) and she died about half a year later, either through sudden illness or an accident, and Hooters is honoring her with a photo with the black ribbon.  Damn -- such youth, and gorgeous youth at that, taken way before her time.  Life is so unfair sometimes.

Wednesday, August 16, 2023

I Will Miss The Women's World Cup, And By The Same Token I Will Not Miss The Women's World Cup (Scheduled Post)

I should be asleep because I intend to wake up at 4 in the morning to go the Black Hart and see the England-Australia Semifinal throw-down before going to work.  I've done this twice now, and I was dragging so bad at work that I took my lunch three hours earlier than usual.  My state of mind during those mornings ... man, I wouldn't wish that on anybody.  So why am I going to do it again?

Because I'm a sports nut, that's why.

Tuesday, August 15, 2023

Addendum To: Seeing A Gig I Can't Work After Not Seeing A Gig I Can Work

I need to take back what I said when I said the Twins gig I was offered was the first sports-related job I turned down not because I had a huge, sister-focused trip.  I have to remember the pandemic, where hiring for those jobs was kind of a clusterfuck.  Unlike being offered those gigs months in advance, I was told that they wouldn't be hiring until up till the week of.  Knowing that I need to tell my boss at my real job when I can and cannot work, getting only, say, five days' lead time for that Sunday's Vikings Game was nearly impossible.

I was reminded of that predicament when I was scrolling through my texts to make sure I haven't missed any offers for jobs.  I got an offer on, I think, a Monday for that Sunday.  Couldn't do it because, I think at the time, I was filling in on Sundays, and I promised my boss I was working.  By the way, she never acknowledged my message, no "OK, I'll look elsewhere, thanks for letting me know."

So, yeah, I have rejected these sports gigs before.  It doesn't make me feel any better that I turned down this Twins job, though.

Monday, August 14, 2023

Addendum To: Party Fouls

That party I was dreading?  Yeah, actually, it was a great time.  Maybe we could've had some more people over, but maybe I should expect that next year after we just started doing this again for the first time in three years.  Besides, we had a good turnout, and everyone was being social.  I feel kind of bad for mistaking one parent's incoming student, but other than that, I don't think there was another time I put my foot in my mouth.

OK, so I overreacted.  Now, I just hope it wasn't took awkward sending everybody two sets of e-mails with all the photos the hosts and I took.

Sunday, August 13, 2023

Letting Go On The Road

There were a couple stupid drivers yesterday, but you know, I just let them go.  Don't know how I was in such a relaxed position, but besides honking at one of them for cutting me off, I just removed myself from the situation and drove off and away from that bad driver.  Just felt better to not engage.

Letting go like that felt good.  Maybe it'll continue, maybe not.  But it felt good letting go.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Twins (Last Week: -1).  Going solely by record, this was a not-good Week for the Twinks.  Started off by beating Arizona last Sunday, 5-3, to polish off a three-Game sweep of the Diamondsbacks.  They started off a four-Game set in Detroit Monday with a 9-3 Win, but then they lost the last three, then got drubbed by the Phillies Friday, 13-2, to start a weekend trio at Philadelphia.  Minnesota rebounded yesterday/Saturday afternoon, beating them, 8-1.

So why are they in the top spot yet again?  Well, for one, the other two teams in town aren't shit.  And two, and more importantly, neither are the Cleveland Guardians.  They went 2-5 this screening Week and are 3-7 in their last ten.  So even though the Twins aren't doing well, their lead over the G-Men has grown to 4 1/2 Games.  Sometimes it's better to be lucky than good.  And sometimes, success is relative.

I can't believe I'm writing this: This going to be a light Week for the Twins.  After wrapping up in Philly, they come home to host the Tigers starting on Tuesday for only two Games (?).  They then get Thursday off before starting a three-Game set at home versus Pittsburgh.

#-2: Lynx (Last Week: -3).  Won at Chicago by nine Tuesday, then got crushed on Thursday at Indiana, The Worst Team In The WNBA, by 18 (?!).  As inexplicable that beatdown is, I'm not too unhappy because, like I've said all year, tanking is what the Jynx should be doing.  Alas, they somehow have floated up past once reputable Washington and are now sixth in the league, two Games ahead of Los Angeles for ninth place.  For what it's worth, the Sparks have won three in a row.

Wow, the Lynx have an easy screening Week, too.  Only one Game, the first of a home-and-home Friday at Seattle.  Geez, everybody's taking August off.  Where are we, France?

#-3: United FC (Last Week: -2).  It's hard to be optimistic about this organization, it really is.  Again, I'm not going to pay too much regard to The Leagues Cup because this is the first season it's become to huge thing with Major League Soccer and Liga MX.  But the performances of the Untied FC this past screening Week give me little confidence that they're a good club.

And they won their first Match, on Tuesday at home vs. Liga MX side Toluca.  Thing is, they stormed out to a 2-0 lead at Halftime.  Did MNUFC blow the lead?  You bet your sweet ass they blew the lead!  A tiresome set of dumb clearances where they tried to tiki-taka their way out of their half instead of kicking the shit out of the ball lead to the Red Devils' first Goal, then a Foul that got Hassani Dotson red-carded led to the tying Goal on a Penalty Kick.  For the final 15+ Minutes of the Match United FC were hanging on for dear life.  I thought they would lose because, well, that's their MO.  But they held, and somehow they defeated Toluca in PKs, 4-2.  (By the way, I totally would've bought a Toluca jersey if they were selling them at the stores at Allianz Field.  An opportunity wasted, folks!)

The winner of that Match was going to face either Nashville or Club America, which was going on concurrently in Music City.  That one also went to Penalty Kicks, but they finished just after our Match did.  The guy next to me -- the guy I think I was racist to -- brought up that Match on his phone and let me and my friend (who let me sit next to her in her way-better seats) watch the end of it.  It ended with Nashville's PK getting snuffed.  America fans (and apparently they're the most popular club in Liga MX) celebrated on the Nashville pitch.  Almost immediately, the team, through the PA announcer and the scoreboard, announced and displayed the Quarterfinal Matchup: MNUFC hosting America.  Cool!

But wait!  The VAR took a hell of a long time to conclude that the America Goalkeeper went off his line before the soccer ball was struck.  After several minutes, the ref ordered a re-kick.  Nashville buried that, they went on to win.  That whole rigmarole took 10-15 Minutes.  I actually waited for the crowd to thin by browsing through the shop.  The TVs had that Game on.  I thought they were replaying what happened.  But when I saw the Nashville player step up, score his Penalty Kick and run towards his teammates in jubilation, I wondered what the hell was going on.  I left the store, looked through my phone, saw what actually happened on The Social Media Platform Formerly Known As Twitter, then saw the updated Matchup: Nashville SC hosting Minnesota United FC Friday night.  This was a Dewey Defeats Truman moment.  I said as much on Twitter/X before realizing I could have used a more up-to-date reference and invoked Steve Harvey getting confused as to who won The Miss Universe pageant in 2015.  But it's obvious the organization jumped the gun.  Fuck, I saw on my phone that they charged me a ticket for the next Game Minutes after that Game supposedly got done.

And so, because this is a Minnesota team, the Looooooooooons proceeded to get their asses kicked, 5-0.  Really shouldn't matter, but D. J. Taylor was red-carded in the 34th Minute -- the third MNUFC player to get thrown out of a Match during the squad's Leagues Cup run -- and NSC scored all five of their Goals between the 39th and 59th Minutes.

If they had won, not only would they have been guaranteed two more Matches (the Leagues Cup has a Third-Place Game), they would have hosted Liga MX club Monterrey, who went into the Rose Bowl and upset top-ranked LAFC by a 3-2 score, in the Semifinal.  (Theoretically, I think that if United FC and Inter Miami were the last two standing, the Final would also have been at Allianz.  Lionel Messi & Co. in Minnesota?  Wouldn't believe it!)  A Quarterfinal finish is instantly forgettable.  And now they have a week to face the reality of league play, where they are on the outside looking in (although only a Point behind ninth-place Houston) and can't do anything about it until they visit NYCFC on the 20th.

Collapses, blowouts ... there's been so many of both that you have to conclude that MNUFC is just not a good team.  Sad but true.

Saturday, August 12, 2023

Bad Day ... Yeah, Turned Worse

Slept through my alarm yesterday morning.  My boss woke me up when he called me at 9:30, 90 minutes after I should have been at work.  I had to run and drive like hell to make it by 10 because, apparently, if I am two hours late for work, company policy orders me to not come in at all.  Made it with three minutes to spare.

It obviously is embarrassing to show up late to work, an grown-up thing, because you overslept, which is something one does when you're in high school.  Man, all the times I woke up late and ran out the door, only to see the bus drive away from me as I was yelling at it to stop. ...  That feeling of shame made me put my head down and just work.  I still had to put in my eight hours (or so -- I'll talk about that next paragraph) regardless, but it doesn't feel good to get in when everybody else is well into their workday, and you were supposed to be well into yours.  Have to say, though, that I'm glad no one at work gave me shit about it, even my boss.  They just let me put my head and work.

With that being said, my boss unfortunately brought up my overtime again.  I actually have been cutting down on OT ever since he, uh, bitched about it in that e-mail a couple weeks ago.  Please believe me when I say that that cutting down is a result of a relative lack of work, not because I'm starting to work faster because I got scared.  Didn't matter to my boss, however; in an e-mail I guess he planned on sending me regardless of when I came in yesterday, he "saw an opportunity" whereby he, uh, invited me to finish up and leave early if I could so that I would be under his allowable amount of overtime.  I say "his allowable amount of overtime" because, even though I said I was open to suggestions, I also said I will do the work as fast and as accurately and as complete as possible.  (I said as much in my reply to him.)  I didn't agree to any damn thing specifically.  I also say "if I could" because I couldn't.  A lot of new forms came in for me to work, which is weird for a Friday.  And although I was able to leave within about eight hours (and considering the mound of paperwork I had, I think my productivity was high, at least for that day), he wanted me to leave early to get down to 40 hours, and I didn't.

So now I wonder if he's mad, or if he's going to make changes.  As I have said before, there are only two other people who can do what I do.  One of them is my supervisor, and she is already stretched to the limit.  The other is on extended leave.  It's just me, and I am getting the feeling my boss really isn't liking it.  I was hoping he was encouraged by the lessening amount of OT I've given him the past couple weeks.  I guess I'm wrong, and that is added stress at the end of the day that began late because I was late.

Friday, August 11, 2023

Are 13 Pictures And Two E-Mails Too Much?

I spent two days trying to send one e-mail to the recipients of my alumni e-mail list.  The reason for the delay: I wanted to upload pictures, and I didn't know how.  Some of them, when I uploaded them last night, turned out broken.  And that was so overwhelming that I decided to wait till just now.  A day and a fresh set of eyes made me realize I could solve the problem by attaching them instead of inlining them.

And so I sent the photos -- not all of them, just some of them.  And the e-mail worked.  I always send a copy I send to my listserv to another of my accounts.  When I got them, all the photos came up ... except that one of the ones I really wanted to send I left out.  Ah, dammit, I really needed to send that one, too, and since all the photos uploaded just fine, well, why not upload all the ones I didn't initially intend to send?  So I sent another e-mail where I dumped all the other pictures.

The people I sent the e-mail to won't be upset.  Will they?

Thursday, August 10, 2023

Heart Warning

For most of yesterday/Wednesday at work up until around the time I took a shower because I was bored, I was feeling quite dizzy.  My heart was pounding out of my chest again.  And maybe that had something to do with it, but I felt faint at several points yesterday.  I have never felt quite that way before.

Don't know what about the shower helped, but right now, as I type this, my heart is no longer trying to explode inside me, or at least the beating isn't as immense as it was earlier in the day.  Maybe the cause was the big dinner I had waiting for me once I came home, or maybe it was in reaction to looking at my laptop while laying down on my bed.  At any rate, I feel better now, but if it seems as though I no longer am doing a daily blog post, understand it's probably because I had a heart attack and died.

Wednesday, August 9, 2023

Yeah, What I Said Totally Sounds Racist

So I was sitting next to this Latino guy for the stupid-crazy MNUFC Leagues Cup Eighthfinal.  As the Loons blew a 2-0 lead (again), I was, of course, dreading the worst.  (They didn't choke; they actually won in Penalty Kicks.)  So I was talking to this guy about the Match, and then the team, and then Minnesota teams.

The Loons were playing Toluca, an historically-important side from Liga MX, the Mexican professional top-flight soccer league.  I don't know this for sure, but when an All-Star team of Liga MX players came up to Allianz Field last Year for the Major League Soccer All-Star Game, I was told by my season-ticket representative that there was a huge influx of Liga MX fans coming here from out of the area, which I assume is the metro area, if not the state of Minnesota.  So, not quite knowing if he is a local, I blurt out, while talking about the sorry knack our teams have of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory: "But ... are you from here?"

And I knew that sounded racist even before he said, "I'm from Woodbury."

Maybe he didn't notice.  Maybe he took it as I intended it, a question as to whether he drove into the Twin Cities, supposedly like other fans who are not United FC fans, to watch.  I don't think he got pissed with me.  But God, am I slapping myself in the head in my mind.  This bad week of self-sabotage continues.

Tuesday, August 8, 2023

I Didn't Get The Job. FUCK

So I e-mailed -- a second time -- those people who are hiring for the game, and one of them finally got back to me yesterday/Monday afternoon ... "Sorry, we already filled the position with someone else."  My worst fears are now realized.

One-and-a-half days.  It took me 1 1/2 days to get back to them.  They couldn't wait?  Really?  Or, is this a case where they didn't see my response of acceptance when I got back to them the next night -- nor my follow-up e-mail the following Monday (so a week ago) asking if they got my previous e-mail from before that weekend.  That's what I suspect.  Or, they did ask another person in the 1 1/2 days I didn't see that they e-mailed me, and that's when some other dude swooped in and took the job.  I need to unsubscribe to all those fucking campaign donation lists, goddammit.

Whatever, man ... I'm pissed.  And hurt.  And dejected.  I don't care that I'm being dramatic when I say I was really banking on the money I was going to make that week -- for working the game and for using paid time off from my day job.  The bills are still piling up, and I could really use some double-dipping.  But no, that's not happening.  And I feel a real, bitter need to tighten my belt as a result.

And yet I cannot project that bitterness on my reply e-mail to them.  So I think I split the difference: I told them I got back to them the day after while stating it was my fault I didn't get back to them sooner (classic passive-aggressiveness), but accepted their offer to circle back to me in case they do need people after all (keeping my options open), plus I also accepted their offer to help out in case their caravan comes back later in the season (acknowledging that I have read what they wrote).  It's the best I can do for missing out on money I need.  Jesus fucking Christ, I wanted that job.

Monday, August 7, 2023

Yep, Got Too Perverted Again

Stupid me, giving a hot girl I befriended on Facebook an eggplant emoji after seeing her looking so fucking hot in a bikini.  Baby, I don't need help -- I need you to say that you're turned on by what I gave ya!  Or, failing that, not block me, which she did.

You know, I set up an alias so I could do this without getting caught.  But I scrolled through all my past Messengers and saw that I have given the eggplant emoji to a lot of hot women on Facebook.  Like, a lot.  And you know what?  They weren't turned off by it ... well, at least they didn't say they were.  And they haven't fuckin' blocked me.  I'M BEING CANCELLED!!!

I tried doing what I had been planning on doing, which is friend all the hot women I'm Facebook friends with on my alias, then defriend them from my actual profile.  I would do this only for babes who never replied to my Messenger texts; I figure that if they ever have responded, we sort of "know" each other, and I would like to keep that "friendship."  But once I migrate these babes I have a one-way relationship with, I can bombard them with as many eggplant emojis I want because if they get offended, they won't know who I am!

However ... I have already given them eggplant emojis.  I don't know if they know who I am, but would it be possible for at least one of the many, many, many women I've given these to at least remember it was I who bestowed these eggplants upon her, and so if I give her an eggplant emoji under my nom de social media, she'll go, "Another fucking eggplant emoji?  You know, there's this other guy who also gives me eggplant emojis ... (gasp) they're the same guy!"  And then my cover's blown, and although I need to perv out as much as possible, if people find out I'm him, it's over.

Now, is it as over as it might be now, where the person who just blocked me will now come after me knowing she knows who I am?  Fair point.  I haven't been hit with any spam or threats on Facebook yet.  And just in case, I blocked her, too.

Maybe I should stop giving eggplant emojis.  But shit, where's the fun in that?

Sunday, August 6, 2023

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Twins (Last Week: -2).  OK, so this is better.  I still think they should be sweeping teams they supposedly are better against, and they started off the screening Week getting swept in Kansas City.  But they took two-of-three at demoralized St. Louis, and they have already taken the first two Games of a three-Game series at home over Arizona.  What's even better is that while the Twins went 4-2, Cleveland went 2-4, and so Minnesota now leads the Division by 3 1/2 Games.  There is plenty of time for things to go sideways, but this has been a good Week, and their Week has been better than any other's, so that's why they resume up top.

One more vs. the Diamondbacks, then four in Detroit beginning tomorrow/Monday, then an intriguing trio at Philadelphia starting on Friday.

#-2: United FC (Last Week: -3).  Yeah, I guess I'm writing about the Loons just because I want to.  And hey, they're giving me something to write about.  I thought they were dead to rights after choking at home versus Chicago because they had a date at high-flying Columbus Friday.  The familiar ties between the two clubs are rife: Will Trapp used to play there, and Christian Ramirez and Kevin Molino used to play here.  It was a hell of a match, apparently.  MNUFC scored first, only for the Crew to tie it.  Then, Columbus went ahead twice (Superman scored to make it 3-2 in the 83rd Minute), only for Minnesota to draw even.  (Bongokuhle Hlongwane scored the first two Goals -- he leads Leagues Cup scoring with six Goals, one more than Lionel Messi -- and Hasani Dotson scored in the 90th to make it 3-3.)  United FC won on Penalty Kicks, 4-3.

That earns the Loons a home date Tuesday against Liga MX side Toluca Tuesday night.  It would be so awesome if they sold Toluca jerseys at the stores, but I'm told it won't happen, and besides, I won't buy one unless MNUFC win.

#-3: Lynx (Last Week: -1).  A four-Point Win at Connecticut Sunday extended their winning streak to three Games, but that ended when they lost the second of a two-Game "series" to the Sun by ten on Tuesday.  They then went home and lost by ten to New York on Friday.  I again assert that all this losing means the Lynx are "winning" a high draft pick.  But they're still in seventh place in the WNBA, and the squads below them (ninth-place Los Angeles is 3 1/2 Games behind) seem disinclined to win.  They're kind of stuck in a mediocre middle, and that is not good news for this franchise.

Busy Week, all on the road -- Chicago Tuesday, Indiana Thursday, the first of a home-and-home with Seattle Friday.

Saturday, August 5, 2023

All Dynasties Fall

The United States is losing to Sweden.  I know it.  I feel it in my bones.  And I will not bear witness.  No.

First of all, it'll be on at 4 a.m.  If there is any time of the day I will be asleep (and I have been awake at all hours of the day), it'll be between 4 and 6 in the morning.  They weren't supposed to play and that time in the morning Central Standard Time.  But in this article by Yahoo! Sports, FIFA works with many worldwide media partners in an effort to select the most, uh, favorable time slots for their teams in order to maximize viewership which makes them more money which makes those media partners happy.  (You should read the article.  I assumed something like this happens, but I wasn't sure until I read this.)  And FIFA wants to make sure America, and American media partner Fox, is happy.

But once the times and venues for those Matches are set, it's up to the team to be as good as advertised and play when they're supposed to play.  And they haven't.  Not by a long shot.  I just saw the Netherlands defeat South Africa.  The U.S. was supposed to play this Game, in this time slot: 9 p.m. CST.  It ain't 7, but in this World Cup played Down Under, it's as good as you can get.  Instead, because they finished second in their Group, they play in the ass of the night/day.

Probably better that way, since they're crashing out of this tournament in the morning (I'm sorry about going off on a tangent in the two above paragraphs.  But really, read the article.)

All dynasties fall.  The United States wasn't going to win every Women's World Cup.  But at their best, it seems like they could.  And I thought they had as good a chance as anyone else, even accounting for the injuries and their mediocre form coming in.  But the Portugal scoreless Draw was further proof that their inability to destroy Vietnam, and then the ensuing 1-all Tie with the Netherlands meant something was fucking wrong with this team.

And frankly, where do you start with this team's deficiencies?  They can't finish and they can't pass up the field.  They play uninspired and they're not communicating.  The grizzled veterans of the club seem real slow and old.  The USWNT Head Coach, Vlatko Andonovski, seems hellbent on his formation and forcing his players to play within it, thus blunting their natural athleticism in an effort to tailor their Game to how everyone else seems to be playing.  And finally, they're going into the Match without the suspended Rose Lavelle, who may be the squad's most creative playmaker (even though she was on the Pitch vs. the Portuguese and didn't do nothing).

Do you really think the United States is going to pull a Win under those circumstances, against a team ranked third in the world?  You're kidding yourself.  Not only will they lose, there's a chance it's going to be ugly.  These two countries have played in every single WWC.  (Correction: I saw Tom Rinaldi's piece on Fox, so I must make a correction: The countries have met each other every single WWC except one.)  They've been drawn into the same Group in every World Cup (correction: Except one) until this Year, and dammit, they still can't get away from each other.  The U. S. is winning the all-time series, but I think Sweden has won three of their last four showdowns, and the Swedes are going in in much better shape.

I just read an Athletic piece about how the two countries' programs are intertwined.  Another great article which I can't link to because it's behind a paywall, but it's great.  Anyway, I thought this was the time for Sweden to exact revenge on the Americans, who beat them, 2-0, in their last World Cup Game even though Sweden rested most of their starters because both the U. S. and them were advancing.  Still, I think the Swedes are too locked in not to win, and the Americans seem to be so lost that Sweden could stumble into a 3-0 or 4-0 ass-kicking.

Irony is waking up before the sun rises to see the sun set on a dynasty.  That's going to happen in the morning.  And if there is a Buddha, I will be sleeping when the final nail is driven into our coffin.

RIP, Pac-12 (Should Be -10, Formerly -8)

I'll be honest: I am getting kind of emotional over the death of the Pac-12/10/8, the final blows (Washington and Oregon getting into the Big 10, Arizona, Arizona St. and Utah getting into the Big 12) to the bruised, listing, and on-life-support body being laid last/Friday night.  I could see the signs how this could end really, really badly for the conference last week, when Colorado peaced out and returned to the Big 12, and yet I'm still shocked at the rapidity and the finality of it.  This conference has been around for more than a century.  The last remaining members of that league might have to escape to the fucking Mountain West, for God's sake.

I don't root for conferences.  I care about my team, and I don't give a flying shit about my team's rivals.  But this is different.  Hating my alma mater's rivals doesn't mean I don't want the Pac-10/12/8 to succeed, let alone live.  It really is strange, even unfair, that a region of the United States of America doesn't have its own college sports conference -- and no, sorry, the West Coast Conference doesn't count.

Instead, we now have a Big Ten Conference that, first of all, is now 18 teams big, and now stretches from coast to coast ... even though there are no teams in the Mountain Time Zone.  My alma mater and UCLA bolted a conference they were the sources of power in for an association they will have to fly at least half the country away on a regular basis to play Games -- and a couple times (depending on the sport), all the way to the East Coast.  Maybe the move was justified, even necessary in a future where money becomes even more important.  Or, maybe it's not.

I am still trying to compose my thoughts on what has been an historic day in college football and sports.  Dare I say that I feel some trauma.  What I want to do is list, in descending order, who and what are to blame for The Death Of The Pac-12/-10/-8:

The Supposed Need For Greed

All of the moves and the backstabbing have one motivation: Money.  Not that there isn't a whole lot these college football programs have already.  But they somehow believe that they are, in fact, poor, or will be poor if they don't jump to a more lucrative boat.  They get into their heads that standing still means falling behind, and so the thirst for the next big payday is relentless and leaves a wake of broken rivalries and ignored history behind them.  This permanent quest for money stains everything about what has transpired.

Larry Scott, Former Commissioner

It's probably not fair to pin all this bullshit on one man, but if there is one person responsible for the league's demise, it's those fucker.  Turns out he is a snake oil salesman.  He came in holding the most lucrative conference contract in college sports and proceeded to piss it all away.  Establishing the Pac-12 Network and refusing to partner with a media conglomerate to cut costs and to get into more cable households still is not a bad strategy, and I probably will die on this hill; if the network(s) were a success, they would be making money hand over fist.  But the network was headquartered in the heart of San Francisco, where rent was so, so high.  Meanwhile, he was paid an obscene salary, much more than the Commissioners of the more powerful B1G and SEC.  And apparently he spent lavishly on the conference's dime, too.  When he finally was told to scram, he got away with a carload of gold, and he left a raft of problems that the rest of the league had to clean up -- and, turns out, failed to clean up.

The Failure Of The Conference In Football

Overlooked in all the cloak-and-dagger stuff is the simple fact that if the football teams in the Pac-12 were any good, or at least as good as those in the SEC, I think the network would make money, and subsequently the conference would survive.  However, the league got into the College Football Playoff only twice -- Oregon in the first Year and Washington.  My alma mater, supposedly the Big Man On Campus, has been in the wilderness for the past 15 Years.  The Pac-12 has been largely a joke when it comes to football, and that wiped away any currency the league had to be considered seriously.

The Decision By The Two Los Angeles Schools To Leave

And still, if my alma mater and UCLA decided to stay, I'm not going to say they couldn't command the money they think they need to go on.  They could set the terms of revenue distribution, saying they are entitled to more than the others based on brand.  As easy as it may be to see the demise of the Pac-12 coming now, remember that they stole Colorado and Utah.  The two schools jetting for the Midwest was the first time in modern history they lost schools, and that made it easier for others to follow suit.

George Kliavkoff, Current Commissioner

He will get more blame for this than he should.  I think Larry Scott fucked up so much that there wasn't a whole lot Kliavkoff could have done to save his league.  But he was holding, like, a pair of queens and busted out.  His dithering in getting a media deal done made association members nervous.  Moreover, he tried to be patient and wait out the hysteria in order to get a bigger deal -- a move many writers lauded, it has to be said.  But it is his fault he couldn't broker a contract better than a streaming service, Apple TV+, which offered a bigger per-school payday only if the contract hit certain subscriber marks.  Many of the schools waited patiently and pledged loyalty until they heard about this new media deal; when they finally saw the details on August 1, many of the remaining schools were so disappointed that Colorado left in due haste.  And the dominoes just fell soon thereafter.

This guy is a commissioner of a Power 5 Conference.  Honestly, he might as well hold a liquidation sale now.

I am letting school presidents and athletic directors off the hook, although Arizona St. President Michael Crow has emerged as either a sucker or a tragic hero.  He stands as the last defender of the association as it was, although he was also Larry Scott's biggest champion.  Reports say he left for the Big 12 reluctantly.  He leaves as a defeated man, and I wonder how long he will head ASU after this humiliation.

---

I am sad.  Sad to the point of buying Pac-12-branded gear because I think there's zero chance the league will be around a Year from now.  Bought a couple of discounted socks and a couple of t-shirts with the logo on it.  I'll wear one of each and save one of each, in case they become collectibles.

No one should come out as a hero after this.  And no one besides the now-Pac-4 (Stanford, Cal, Washington St. and Oregon St.) should be given sympathies for thinking, "Hey, we had to do what we had to do," or, "We had to make the best of a bad situation," or, worst of all, "This is not my fault."  The Pac-12 is just about dead because a lot of people helped kill it.

It's the duplicity about it all that really pisses me off.  Nothing happens, and then all this shit happens at once.  Conferences say they're not looking to add teams, then they add them.  What I really fucking hate is the speed at which teams are accepted into new leagues.  Conferences say they do their "due diligence" in assessing whether they'll accept schools, but then the process of vetting and then accepting these schools happen over a matter of hours, and probably through Zoom.  Schools leave conferences they've been in for Decades over hastily-called meetings that last a long lunch.

And it doesn't make any goddamn sense.  This is totally a football move, but while I am guessing men's basketball will be OK (although I think even that sport would be better off separating from football and reverting to conferences as we knew them way back when), the women's tennis or men's golf teams that have to travel half a country away to face a team they have no history with is going to take a toll on their schooling in a way football players don't have to face.  And it's an added burden athletic directors, conference commissioners and university presidents will just chalk up as collateral damage.

And will these teams that move really be better where they will be?  The Big Ten now has 18 fucking teams, and they might as well add Stanford and Cal -- and if and when the ACC breaks up, Virginia and North Carolina.  That will be a crowd of football powers that my alma mater will now have to climb over.  Do they really think that's better than having a conference all its own, in a region of the country all its own, and a paved road to a postseason and football success and riches?  (Of course, they haven't taken advantage of that road even up till now, but that road was still there with the Pac-12.)  They could say they did it for the money, but they could still be stuck in football oblivion like they are now.

Speaking of oblivion ... well, that's what the Pacific-12/-8/-10 is now facing.  People were spitballing that the death of a Power 5 Conference could happen, but still: How did this happen?  How did a proud association of West Coast and Western schools completely fall apart in a matter of a week?  It's unbelievable, and it's fucking ridiculous.

Rest In Peace, Pac-10/-8/-12.

Friday, August 4, 2023

Hmmm ... These USWNT Jerseys Really Bring Out My Fat Belly

My USWNT jersey came yesterday/Thursday.  Hope to wear it once before Sunday, when they take on, and probably get steamrolled by, Sweden.  More on this later (I think), but I also hope to be able to wear it with some pride after bitter recriminations of falling short of their third World Cup title drop away and their 2019 WWC triumph (as memorialized by the fourth star atop the badge on the jersey) stand in our memory untarnished instead.

Kind of waited before getting the jersey ... just because.  But as I waited, the selection of sizes dwindled.  When I finally decided to buy it, I had two choices: Extra Small and Small.  Before that, when I checked the Nike website, they had Medium, but no Large.  When I saw that S was all that was left, I was at first scared I couldn't buy it.  But then I checked the two USWNT jerseys I do have, which I bought during the 2019 WWC (which had three stars) and, I think, shortly after the 2015 WWC (which had two).  The '19 shirt was a Medium, but the '15 was a Small.  And I fit in both, and with little trouble.  By the way, I can tell the S is smaller than the M, but the difference is slight.  Nike makes a good product, IMHO.

I put both of these on and strode up to my bedroom mirror.  Neither jersey suffocated me, but they are both tight around my stomach -- my fat stomach.  Yeah, whenever I walk around in these shirts, I'm reminded again about how everyone can see the bulge in my gut.  And this is where I lament again about how skinny I was in my childhood and into my twenties.  Seriously, when I got to college, I was between 115 and 125 pounds.  And I was there for a long time despite the different diets I decided to fall back on once I was out on my own, in both Los Angeles and later in El Paso.  And yet, at some point 20 years or so ago, the metabolism that kept my body rockin' like a furnace broke.  One day not too long ago I was rifling through old photos of myself (I don't remember if I was on my phone, I was online on Facebook, or I was looking through literal pictures I had in my hand).  I can date back to about a decade ago photos where the big belly I have now was quite visible then, so I've been fat and out-of-shape for at least a decade.

I wonder when it all went wrong.  I sometimes wonder how it all went wrong.  Was it because of the depression I went through in my twenties, when the lack of a full-time job and direction finally compelled me to eat so much my metabolism quit?  (I think my depression was a main reason I started Wailing And Failing.)  Did it coincide with Grandmother's mental deterioration?  Or is this all natural, and that I have eaten and drank as much as I wanted when I was a kid but my body no longer can just use it at a rate where my body doesn't look like I eat and drink a whole lot?

At any rate, I am fat and I look fat, and these now three USWNT jerseys really emphasize my fat belly.  But hey, I wanted to commemorate the team winning its fourth title, so I stuck to my principle of buying the USWNT shirt on the Year of a Women's World Cup if they won the previous Women's World Cup.  In other words, if what I think will happen happens, I won't be buying no jersey in 2027.  At any rate, since both the Medium and Small bring out my gut, I saw no reason why I shouldn't buy the Small.  It fits me, plus the only real reason I would buy a Medium is if it would hide my stomach, and if the M I do have is any indication, I don't think it will.  So I bought the Small, and I will wear it at least to the 4 a.m. Women's World Cup Final, featuring or not featuring the United States, and I will stick out my fat belly for all to see!

Thursday, August 3, 2023

Seeing A Gig I Can't Work After Not Seeing A Gig I Can Work

Now I'm worried.  The gig with the Golden Gophers I received last Wednesday afternoon to which I did not answer until last Thursday night/early Friday morning has not been confirmed.  I e-mailed them on Monday to make sure they got it and didn't overlook it because their inbox is also flooded with political donation messages.  But I haven't heard back.

Meanwhile, after I got up from my evening rest (which went so long that I probably won't fall asleep until 4 o'clock comes, at which point I plan on leaving to go to the Black Hart to see the final Group Stage Matches of the Women's World Cup) I scrolled through my e-mail on my phone.  I've been looking for a confirmation e-mail for the Gophers gig at work on a regular basis, and no, it's not a healthy thing.  And last/Wednesday night, I still haven't received it.

Instead, I got an offer to work Twins Game.  Unfortunately, and for only the third time ever, I rejected the offer to work.  Maybe even more importantly, I think this is the first time I've ever rejected a gig not because I was going to be out of the continental United States to celebrate my sister.  I had to say no because this is on a Saturday, and not just any Saturday, but the first Game of my alma mater's football season, which means I am usually busy planning and watching Games with my friends.  You see, we need to watch this Game at a restaurant in St. Paul we went to last season, but (in my opinion) is still too new for us to just walk in and act as if we run the place.  We have way more familiarity with our main bar, and I am trying to convince myself that is the difference between working last Year's Twins Game and not working this Year's.

Last Year I worked for the production mid-September.  It was a Saturday, and my football team was playing its Second Game.  We did not have a viewing party for the first Game because we could not find a bar that had the network that broadcast that Game.  That meant that the Second Game was the first Game-watching event of the season, and I had some misgivings about not hosting a Game-watching party for the second Week in a row because that would establish of pattern of not hosting, and that would hurt attendance, plus I would have been missing hosting the first two Games of a season, and I think that looks bad.  However, our main bar is one we've been to for many, many years now, to the point where I don't think I have to show up for the people who run the place to know other people are coming.  I think I went to our main bar earlier that week to say that there is a Game on at this time of night, and even though I won't be there, many others whose faces they may recognize will.  That was enough for me to convince myself that my friends could take care of getting the Game on their TVs by themselves and without my help.  And that self-sufficiency allowed me to work the Twins that night.

That isn't the case here.  I still have to go to St. Paul and eat there (for the first time since last season) to make sure they still carry the channel.  With all that uncertainty and unfamiliarity, I think I need to be there to host.  I would much prefer to work the Twins Game, no doubt.  I just can't do it this time, however, and I hope I have built up enough goodwill with the network over the years that they will come back to me if there is another Twins Game they are broadcasting in future seasons.

There are three things, by the way, that I have to point out about this offer I just said no to.  First of all, like last Year's gig, they are coming here late in the season.  Target Field is spectacular during the summer, and maybe even around Memorial Day.  Nothing is precluding them from showing a Game then, when I'm not worried about college football season and can totally work for them.  Besides, I'm scared that, like last season, the Twins will collapse and play like the non-competitive schmucks they were when they lost that Twins Game I did work last season.  Second of all, a college football season usually starts Labor Weekend.  This gig I declined is the Saturday before Labor Weekend.  It just so happens that my alma mater's team is playing what they call a "Week 0" Game this Year.  If this were any other season, I could probably work it, goddammit.

And finally, I have to point out this irony: I responded to this e-mail about 4 1/2 hours after the requestor sent it.  I shouldn't berate myself so much because if you're not friends with yourself, you're in a world of trouble, but it took me a day and a half to respond to the Gopher job, which I can work and which I in all honesty lucked into finding because I was afraid I missed this offer I thought was coming my way.  However, this silent treatment makes me think I was too late in answering.  The guy asking me to work the Twins Game urged me to reply quickly because he was about to ask other people.  The person offering me the Golden Gopher job didn't say that, but by not responding to my reply either last week or Monday, I'm afraid that he has already asked other people, and someone said yes.

I think I will e-mail them again overnight.  I don't want to sound desperate, but I kind of am.  And hey, I need to know if I need to clear my schedule at work to work the Gophers that week.  This production has always been good and getting back to me on offers I have said yes to.  Why they haven't on this very important (to me) gig (full circle wording that ties this essay together) worries the hell out of me.

Wednesday, August 2, 2023

Just gonna throw this out there: When males get sexually aroused, their penises get hard, and when females get sexually aroused, their nipples get hard.  It's not quite a like-for-like similarity, but a woman's vagina cannot get erect (it, well, gets wet), and so you can't see its, uh, hardening.  But just like a man's bulge stretching his pants, a woman can show her randy mindset (or at least that they're cold) by wearing a tight shirt.  (It helps, I guess, if a woman isn't wearing a bra, either; a woman not wearing a bra out in public is most likely tipping off that her mindset is already pretty randy).

I am thinking this because I'm looking at Zishy a lot (it's at zishy dot com).  Every other day there is a new pictorial featuring a woman who likely ends up getting naked in a private space.  But the spread usually starts off with her flashing in public, and one of the first preview photos (you'll have to subscribe to see the whole roll) usually is a shot of her facing the camera with her top on, but with her nips poking through.  Because, you see, she's excited to show her breasts pretty soon.

God, I want to bite into a woman's hard nipples so hard.

Tuesday, August 1, 2023

Well, We've Legalized It ... And I Don't Like It

As of today, August 1, marijuana is legal.  And call me a Republican if you want, but I am scared to even leave the house right now.

I equate it (somewhat; I still kind of think pot is a gateway drug, don't @ me) to another sin that has run rampant nationwide, gambling.  I do not like governmental sanction of these sins because it gives people license to do bad things that eventually will hurt other people.  And I am paranoid, but only a little bit, that once the clock struck midnight, people all over this fuckin' state blazed one up and are now walking around the neighborhood spewing that rancid-ass odor all over the place.  I plan on seeing Oppenheimer tonight, and I'm sure I'll smell pot smoke in there, too, 'cause hey, it's legal now!  And I am scared, truly scared, that I'll be driving and will get hit by some dumb asshole who's high and just rolled through his red light.

I really don't like it.  I feel we won't be safe anymore, and I'm pretty certain much more of my day will be ruined because people are smokin' up wherever and whenever the hell they want to -- even though the law states that weed-smoking is confined to certain places, and the default is that marijuana remains illegal in public spaces.  That differentiation, the idea that you can't just do it anywhere and anytime, is lost on the stupid people who live among me.  It'll be fucking everywhere, all it once, and possibly forever.