And Now The Fucking Door Is Broken

Now that I think about it, there was a problem.  While walking through the front door a couple times this winter, my coat would catch on something on the threshold.  Didn't think anything of it; I just tugged on my jacket and went inside.

Fast forward to just now.  It's recycling day tomorrow, and I'm putting as much stuff as I can into the bin.  I finish and go back inside (no snagging).  I turn around to close the door ... and it doesn't feel as though it's closing all the way.  I open it up to close it again; not only does it still not close tightly, but I hear this shrieking sound.  So I open it again and see that the ... fuck, I don't know what the name of the part is, but the door frame, uh, thingy is curled over.  That's what's making the sound, and that's why it's not closing properly.

So now I'm rummaging around the house looking for a clamp.  I see a bunch of goddamn screwdrivers, but it takes me 15 minutes to find a clamp.  I try to straighten that part out, only to have it curl up again after I close the front door.  So I get these small pliers and cut out the curled-up part, but it still curls up.  Finally, I am using fucking masking tape to keep that part down and from curling up when I close the door.  So far, so good, but it's only masking tape.  My Father has screwdrivers up the ying-yang but only has one clamp and no duct tape.

If I were a real handyman, I would be able to fix that part.  But ... well, I am not a handyman.  But also, I have no fucking clue what that goddamn part is.  I have looked on the Internet and I still don't know what it is.  My God, it's the freakin' Internet -- you can get the answer to everything on the Internet, but I can't find the name of this broken part!  God, I hope the tape is fucking enough.

Oh, this ruins everything, by the way.  I wanted to go to be early, but I took a total of 45 minutes trying to fix this thing.  And now I'm so bitter and hyped up with worry and evil urges that I'm looking at porn in order to masturbate in order to calm down.  Fuck my life.

Believe It Or Not, The Winter Has Broken Me Even Further

It may be because I'm feeling the pressure of getting my shit in order in anticipation of my parents coming home.  But the Seasonal Affective Disorder, which I thought bit me in the ass early last week, has sunk its teeth in me even harder yesterday.  That's when the snow, which I thought was forecast to be a nuisance one, turned out to have lasted throughout the entire afternoon and, much to my chagrin, evening.  I think it's snowing even as I type this.  And so my morning commute will be hell, and I'll have to fuckin' get up early in order to use the side streets in order to make it to work on time.

It is a pain in the ass that my day revolves around shoveling.  It dictates everything you do.  I wanted to go to the movies yesterday because it was Discount Tuesday.  But the afternoon snow forced me to use side streets, and so I was too late to see They Shall Not Grow Old, the World War I documentary.  Took that as a sign I should start throwing away my stuff and straightening out the house.  But, dammit, I needed to shovel a part of the driveway so I could drive my car up in to it, and coming down from that chore compelled me to just get onto my bed and lay there.  I've done that a lot, and I hate that I get lazy after I have to deal with shoveling snow, again and again and again, this month.

And that white shit ain't done.  There's going to be a sizable snowstorm Friday.  Wanted to go to the Gopher men's hockey game that evening, but that ain't gonna fuckin' happen now -- because I have to shovel, again.

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#0: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -3).  In a decisive down week overall for Twin Cities sport, the U. lady icers take the top spot pretty much by default.  They went into Bemidji St. this weekend to wrap up regular season play and swept the Beavers by 6-3 and 4-3 scores, although they needed to hang on Saturday after allowing Bemidji St. to score twice in the Third Period.  And along with Wisconsin tying Ohio St. in Madison this past weekend, Minnesota claims the regular season title and the #1 spot in this week's poll.  Oh, and the team doesn't have to play next week.  They return in two weeks for the WCHA Final Faceoff -- which, as always, is held at Ridder.

This team isn't doing anything that I don't expect from them.  But I think that deserves at least one week above negative numbers, no?

#-1: Wild (Last Week: -9).  What to make of the most, uh, tumultuous trade deadline in recent franchise history, where new General Manager Paul Fenton took massive steps to create a new chapter for the Wild while starting to close the book on old GM Chuck Fletcher?  It's hard to say, of course, but you have to step at the serious overhaul Fenton has just undertaken within the past few weeks.

It is obvious that The Fletcher Era will be defined by the free agent signings of Zach Parise and Ryan Suter.  The two players are tentpoles for the franchise; their contracts make them immovable.  But the idea was, at least I think this was Fletch's thinking, that the team would augment those two with a series of good-to-great players.  That was behind the drafting of Mikael Granlund and the trades for Nino Niederreiter and Charlie Coyle.  Those three, in my opinion, had a couple good-to-great years, but not all at once.  And with this team repeatedly banging their heads against a talent ceiling, fans probably felt it was time to make a change, if not blow it up.

With Parise and Suter staying until their contracts expire, it is this second layer of talent (or "talent") that could only be moved.  And Fenton did just that, to early but mixed results.  It was an apparent fear that Niederreiter would blossom amongst better talent in Carolina, and that has happened.  (Why couldn't Minnesota have better talent?  That is also one of the truth of The Fletcher Era, the inability to find the right assortment of players to make the breakthrough the signings of Parise and Suter were supposed to open up.)  Ryan Donato, the player the Mild traded Coyle to Boston for, scored the Overtime game-winner against St. Louis Sunday; it was one game, but so far through three games, Donato has three Assists to go with that Goal.  And we'll see if Fenton's crush on Kevin Fiala was worth sending Granlund to Nashville (where Fenton was Assistant GM).

It has been noted that Fenton wanted to move Jason Zucker as well, but he stayed.  We'll see if there is any lingering resentment as a result of that non-move.  Eric Staal was supposed to be moved, too, but Staal wanted to stay, and Fenton extracted a low-amount contract extension in exchange for Staal's wishes.  (Oh, Minnesota also traded Kyle Hendricks to Winnipeg.)  All these moves has given the organization something they haven't had in a long time: Cap flexibility.  Fletcher gave that away in signing that second layer of players to long-term deals.  I see the theory behind that: Entrust in those players that had promising seasons a contract that gives the franchise stability for a long time.  Unfortunately, Niederreiter, Coyle and Granlund all plateaued short of their potential, and thus didn't live up to their contracts.  Again, we'll see if Fenton was able to get value out of their trades, but Minnesota now has, uh, about ten million dollars under the cap, plus they have gotten younger.

And, best of all, they're winning.  They started off the screening week getting the shit kicked out of them by Anaheim, 4-0, completing an 0-4 homestand.  But they came back with back-to-back road wins over the Rangers and Detroit.  With Sunday's victory over the Blues, they are, as of right now, still clinging on to the last playoff spot in the Western Conference (albeit on a tiebreaker with The Bastard Quebec Nordiques).  Unbelievable that through this shitty play, Minnesota is still a playoff team.  And if they can weather all these losses and trades (and lockerroom chemistry; Michael Russo of The Athletic is saying that morale with the squad is very low right now) and still make the playoffs this year, they might be set up very well for the future.  At the very least, they get the second spot in a topsy-turvy WMNSS

But the rest of the schedule is daunting.  This week: At Winnipeg Tuesday and Calgary Saturday, then home for a third straight Sunday match, this time against Nashville.

#-2: Gopher softball (Last Week: -7).  Three weeks in and this club's place in the softball firmament is rapidly coming into focus.  In Tuscaloosa, Ala., this weekend, they blanked Missouri St. 7-0 and beat Louisiana-Monroe twice; the second time was mercy-ruled 13-1 after Five Innings.  But the team got swept by host Alabama, 1-0 and 7-2, the latter declared after Five because of rain and impending storms.  There's a difference between the Crimson Tide and two non-BcS schools, if you know what I mean.

They travel to Tucson, Ariz., this weekend to play five games: Two vs.  Drake and one each against Kent St., James Madison and host Arizona.  I'll go out on a limb and say the U. goes 4-1.

#-3: Timberwolves (Last Week: -5).  Give the Woofie Dogs credit; they're playing better ball right now.  They finished 2-1 for the week, sandwiches a road win against New York and a home one versus Sacramento around a road defeat to Milwaukee (which, I still can't believe, has the best record in the NBA.  Milwaukee, best in the NBA?  Wow!).  But they're still on the outside looking into the NBA playoff picture, so pfffft.

This week: Three games, all on the road, all against the East: Atlanta, Indiana, and Washington.

#-4: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -1).  I find this funny: Even though they ended B1G play with a home split versus Notre Dame, the U. is really touting the fact that this begotten squad clinched home-ice for their Quarterfinal matchup in two weeks, even though they don't stand a lick of a chance of making it to the NCAA Tournament unless they run the table and win the whole damn thing.  Again, everybody should give Bob Motzko a chance to bottom out.  But there are still fans that cling to the glory days of the program and the premium brand aura that the #PrideOnIce still connotes, despite the fact that this club can't do a damn thing on defense, Saturday's 2-1 win over the Fighting Irish notwithstanding.

Since there are seven teams in the conference, at least one team has to sit out conference play each weekend.  For the last weekend of league play, it'll be the U., who instead will host, for the first time ever, Arizona St., for a two-game series.  I want to go to the Friday game, not only for the novelty of seeing Sun Devils hockey sweaters, but also for the fact that this program, in only fourth season in top-flight, looks assured of getting into the NCAA Tournament for the first time ever.

#-5: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -4).  Huh.  In last week's Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey I was inveighing on whether or not I should attend the season-ending dual vs. Rider at, of all places, Northrop Auditorium.  But because of the shit-ass weather affecting the country on Thursday, was cancelled.  Well, I'm glad I didn't decide to drive out to campus.

So the team finishes 14-3 overall and ranked in the Top Ten, but tied for fourth in the B1G standings and standing little to no chance of doing anything in the NCAAs.  But the B1Gs are first, and it'll happen in two weeks -- and, by Jove, it'll be at Williams Arena!  Maybe I should go!  (No, I won't, because my parents will probably be home by then, shit.)

#-6: Gopher baseball (Last Week: -8).  Lost two-of-three at Dallas Baptist over the weekend.  It's weird; without college baseball, I would never know there is a university called Dallas Baptist.  And its athletics department decided they were going to go all-in/turn Division I in, of all sports, baseball.  Huh.

Well, this is interesting: I have never seen the U. play N.C. St. before, but this weekend they will be in Raleigh, N.C. for a three-game series.

#-7: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -2).  Their non-con is so weak that their recent run of good form still has this team nowhere near tournament contention.  They needed an eye-popping win, and they almost had it Thursday at Maryland.  They were leading 69-62 with two minutes to play ... and goddammit, they gave up the last nine points of the game, the last two in excruciating fashion.  The Terrapins' Kaila Charles make a jumper to tie the game at 69 with six Seconds left.  The Gophers call a timeout, and I think starting this year that means the could inbounds from halfcourt.  But Jesus fucking Christ, Shakira Austin steals the inbounds pass and lays the ball up and in at the buzzer to give Maryland the improbable, horrible 71-69 victory.  And that probably drives the final nail in the coffin on the hopes these Goofers get to the NCAAs.

The club finishes the regular season with games at Rutgers and home to Michigan St.  A loss like that can send these players on another downward spiral.

#-8: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -6).  But the women ballers' plight isn't as devastating as the mens'.  They go 0-2 this week, each loss typifying the two worst ways a squad can lose.  On Thursday at home, the U. trailed Michigan from the jump, and even though they got closer to the end, they lost, 69-60.

Sunday's loss in Rutgers was worse.  The Scarlet Knights are a worst team than the Wolverines, and yet the Golden Goofers' desultory play allowed them to hang around.  That laziness bit them in the end: A three by Geo Baker broke a 61-all Tie and gave Rutgers the lead they would not relinquish with about a Minute left.  Jordan Murphy was fouled while attempting a game-tying three with five Seconds left, but he only fuckin' made one-of-three Free Throws, and that was basically it -- for the game (a 68-64 loss) and, by all rights, their NCAA Tournament hopes.

Joe Lunardi of ESPN now has Minnesota in the Play-In Games, and if there is a need for evidence the NCAA should lop off the 68-Team field by four, this team and the shit-ass bubble in general is it.  Meanwhile, the Gophers visit Northwestern Thursday in what may be the team's final best chance to win a frickin' game this year.

You know what?  This is the first time I have ever dreaded going to work.  With the yelling and the weird silence from my boss over the past couple work days, I am not looking too fondly at my job right now.  And right now, it feels like it's not going to get any better.

See, this was one of the big reasons I loved being a temp.  I couldn't hate being at a job because the job was temporary.  I cannot remember ever hating a temp job, and even if I did, or even if I had a rough day at work, I could just tell myself it doesn't matter because hey, it's just a fucking temp job.  But this is different.  I am invested in this job.  I can't just detach my feelings over this job because I'm expected to be a team player in exchange for benefits.  It feels as though I'm ... stuck.  And I might have to swallow a bitter pill, shrug and just ... I hate saying this ... deal with it.  I shouldn't, but that's how people learn to put up with things they shouldn't.

My God, where am I right now, and where will I go with this?

The House Is Breaking In The Cold

It's not the polar vortex, but it's plenty cold outside, and it will be for the next few days.  As a result, I have heard some loud pops, bangs and creaking, the result of the house trying to fend off the below-zero temperatures through the night.  I swear, the noise that makes is louder than I've ever heard it.  Moreover, I don't remember hearing so many creaks when it was deathly cold a few weeks ago.

I really hope nothing happens.  In the meantime, I think I'll have to re-open the master shower downstairs to a trickle, just to make sure water is flowing through the pipes to prevent the pipes from freezing.

Thank you so, so much to the Minneapolis Downtown Improvement District workers who helped me dig out from my metered parking spot this morning after watching soccer.  It was such a pain in the ass to try and get out on my own, but like manna from heaven, two dudes in a DID truck saw me, parked, grabbed their shovels and shoveled away all the snow around my tires so I could get out.

Don't know what I would do without them, or without strangers, during this hellish winter.

Oh, God, The Job Really Sucks Now

So I left work early for The Girls' State Hockey Championships yesterday, and I thought I should be nice and tell my boss that I was leaving even though he knew I was leaving.  So I pack and walk over to him and say, "I'm takin' off" -- and he just looked at me and looked back down at his work.  Dude, I'm just trying to be professional.

Maybe he was being so passive-aggressively cold because I almost fell asleep around 12:30.  That is the first time that has happened on a Saturday, and it was weird.  I had done the second shift the day before, but I can't believe that was a reason I almost conked out.  But I realize that I have done that many times at work, and that really didn't happen at the health insurance place or the flu biller place.  Then again, at those jobs, if I really felt that tired (which I didn't), I could just drop my work and go to lunch in my car to sleep through it.

Monster for a boss ... real boss don't give a fuck about me leaving ... I continually fall asleep at work ... holy shit, I am really hating the job right now.  And to think I have a six-month review coming up.  Oh, fuck me. ...

Well, Fuck You, Asshole, Now You've Ruined That Part Of My Job

I have the permanent mindset that something will go wrong, deeply wrong, in everything I do and see.  And yet I am disappointed in myself that I am surprised by violent behavior.

So I was at work last night.  So (also) there is this guy who, I don't know, is kind of high up on the food chain.  Talked to him once about the Gopher football team, and that's it.  Anyway, he asked for a folder whose description had us all in the department stumped.  One girl, who just started as is incredibly nice, went back to him for a clarification, and she returned saying that he was not happy he needed to, uh, translate his request.

His request was three folders.  We found the one that we couldn't understand, but after everybody who I asked left for the day, I couldn't find one of the others.  Usually, this means that another department has it.  As far as I know, whenever a request for a folder comes back unfulfilled, it is understood that this department has it.  In that case, the requester either just chills until it circulates back to my department, or you get it yourself.

On my way down to this guy's office, just as I was turning the corner, I hear him yell, just absolute scream, "I don't have the freakin' work!!!"  Just then he sees me: "Are those the folders?" and after I nod a quick and timid nod he shouts out a quasi-sarcastic, "Thank you!"

However, he noticed that I gave him only two of the three folders.  "Where is it?" he asked.  And I was stunned, I ... I didn't know how to answer him except, "I can't find it.  They must have it."

"No.  That can't be right.  The folder's from two weeks ago.  You must have it."

"Um, I'll try and take another look."

"OK.  Thank you."

And that's where my very nice co-worker was so helpful to me.  Because I have no goddamn clue how to deal with a bully like him.  So I basically begged for a way to get out of this by walking up to her and telling her that he wasn't happy.  That's when she took charge, I got the hell away from the situation, and she began digging around.

Finally (and this is where I don't have the whole story because I was avoiding him like fucking crazy) he finally calmed himself down.  The key apparently was getting this department we all thought this missing folder was involved in this guy's search.  It had to do with results from a lab; it was so wonky that, I'm guessing, it was put in a folder different from the one the guy thought it was in.  Turns out he asked for the wrong folder.

With that all gone, I could just go about my day, which was otherwise without incident.  But I was at he break room when he, about to leave for the day, wished me a good weekend.  You lash out -- maybe not at me, but I was there -- and you wish me a good weekend?  Who the hell are you, Amy Klobuchar?  But I made small talk with him anyway and wished him a good night.

No matter.  I can't see this guy in the same way again.  And to think people put up with bullshit like this -- bullshit that will no doubt escalate.

I should update my resume.

This Schedule Is Kind Of Screwing Me Up

At work yesterday/Thursday I was asked by my boss if I could shift positions and, uh, shifts for today/Friday in order to fill in for someone.  The only other person who could do it demurred, so even though I could have gone to this local Mensa gathering or the Elton John concert, either event wasn't enough for me to pitch in at work and volunteer to fill in.

And this is 1:30-10, just like the last week of 2018, when I also filled in for the same person who does second shift.  And like I said before, I like that situation -- the hours, the work, the pace and the isolation.  Unfortunately, because this is one day only and it came on one day's notice, my sleep schedule is all fouled up.  Well, I do like what I'm doing now, namely staying up and waking up as late as 11 (even though I could and should wake up a bit earlier than that if I want to buy food for dinner at work) without worrying about fatigue.

But to feel that way right now, I got some sleep in early with two cat naps.  The first nap was around 6:30, so that probably was in response to staying up during work yesterday.  But the second one was around midnight for about a half-hour.  Yeah, I took a 30-minute nap around midnight.  I'm afraid that just killed my body clock.  Now, I felt really refreshed.  I got some chores done overnight: Shoveling the rest of the driveway, washing my thermals, and finally starting to go through bags of my stuff.  But I really need to feel refreshed when I get into work, and feeling wide awake now means I'll probably crash once I get to work.  And even though I should be a hard-charging machine for second shift hours, I'm scared that I'll be as sluggish as I am in my current shift.  Oof.

Might As Well Be A Homebody

The one upside to being practically snowed in, if there is an upside, is that I am being encouraged, ever so slightly, to stay home and work on things.  I don't like it, and I certainly hated all the damn shoveling I did yesterday.  But I actually went through a round of dishes that needed washing and I got done with a load of laundry.  I should get to my receipts and bags of stuff, too, but hey, baby steps, amirite?

And that reminds me: I planned on staying overnight at one of my fuckmates this weekend, but it'll probably be snowing then.  She lives clear on the other side of town, and if this snowstorm also packs a wallop, I am going to have to cancel.  And that just means more opportunity for me to stay home and work on the house.

Almost As Bad As I Was Afraid It Would Be

It wasn't bad going out; one to two inches at most.  (Still gave myself enough time to get to work through side streets ... and I actually made it on time!)  But as of press time I think we got 8 1/2 inches.  And it ain't fuckin' over yet.

The only saving grace, I guess, was me getting cut from work early.  I was told by my boss' boss that that there were no shipments of piss because, well, the weather was so bad that the flights bringing them into town couldn't land at MSP.  Usually I would be so upset that I was losing work.  But instead I saw this as an opportunity to get a jump on my shoveling.

But I didn't.  See, I got cut from work around lunchtime, so I had thoughts dancing in my head of going to Subway and using my gift card before heading home and beginning to shovel with a full belly and calories ready to burn.  And there was a Subway right close to work that I spied.  But when I went into the parking lot I ... stayed there.  Spinning my wheels and everything.  Shit.  That was a sign that, you know, maybe I should just go home.  And I tried to, but I couldn't until two guys helped push me to a non-snowy spot in the parking lot.  And then I got stuck trying to get onto a main road.  Man, I know I pissed off the cars (and at least one truck) behind me as I going back and forth trying to find a dry patch from which my car could get traction and go.  And just before I got home I got stuck a third time, and yes, I got out with the help of a third generous fellow who pushed my car forward.  They will never read this, but thank you, thank you, thank you to them for getting me home safe.  And apologies again to everyone I held up because my low-clearance car couldn't get through the snow.

Saw that my driveway was damned up because the city plows already cleared the street, plus most of the damage from this blizzard came while I was at work (the forecasters were right when they said it was going to snow heavily at times), so maybe it wouldn't have made much of a difference; in all likelihood, I would have come back to the same shit mess at 4 p.m. as I did at 12:15.  (And by the by, my boneheaded attempt to eat lunch outside cost me between 15 and 20 extra minutes.)  But with the garage door still broken? frozen shut, it was shoveling time.  And the forecasters were also right when they said this was the wet, heavy kind.  Add to it that when snow is cleared by the city plows onto the end of the driveway, it gets crustier and even heavier (the latter IMHO).  It's certainly not done; after trying to see if I can fix the fucking garage door, I need/want to shovel some more.  But after I immediately got home I did what I really, really had to do: Shovel enough of the driveway to get my car on the property.  The second time I shoveled this afternoon (after eating a portion of my leftover spaghetti and masturbating to porn on the Internet -- yeah, maybe I could have spent my surprise time off work better), and presumably every single time I trudge outside for the rest of the night, is to clear that back-breaking heart-attack snow at the end of the driveway.  There's no way I'm going to get my whole driveway cleared, but the worst of the stuff, that's what I want to try and haul onto to my and my neighbor's yards.

---

I hate this winter.  I continually say Minnesota life is so good because the winters keep the pussies out.  But I'm fucking hating this winter.  And the blizzards aren't stopping; two more of these goddamn things are coming by this weekend.  Fuck me.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

So it begins.  Again.  I will be driving in the middle of a blizzard.  Well, it's already started, so the drive in to work will be absolute hell.  And the bulk of the snow will fall during the day.  Once it's all over they're predicting, goddamn, up to nine fucking inches.

The worst snowstorm of the season is bad enough.  But the garage door is still stuck.  I swear it's frozen over, but I tried opening the door manually and now I'm afraid it could be something else.  Regardless, I won't be able to use the snowblower again because it's stuck behind the garage door.  So it's back shoveling, fucking shoveling after I finally cleared the back deck.

This ... this is ... this is stressful.  And depressing.  I can't ... I don't know if I can deal with this shit anymore. ...

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -7).  It's weird, this week's survey; the top five teams went undefeated for the week, and yet I can't feel great about any of them because of them has a something I can complain about.

Take, for instance, the U. male icers.  They may have had their best performance of the year, going into Columbus and sweeping the then-#2 or -#3 Ohio State Buckeyes over the weekend by matching 4-3 scores.  But this club still is nowhere near tournament consideration according to the PairWise, which has them tied for 21st right now.  More sweeps might cut it, but I think it's still fair to believe that they're sitting this tourney out.  At any rate, they finish their B1G portion of the schedule at home against Notre Dame for two this weekend.

#-2: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -1).  Meanwhile, the U. feminine ballers are enjoying a fantastic stretch.  They currently ride a six-game winning streak after trouncing Purdue in West Lafayette by 20 (by virtue of a 20-2 Fourth Quarter) a 30-Point ass-kicking of Penn St. at Williams.  And for all their fantastic play, this squad is ... nowhere near NCAA Tournament consideration either, according to ESPN.com's Charlie Creme, presumably since the non-conference schedule was softer than cotton candy.  I don't know if being one win away from 20 counts for something, but it looks as though they still have ground to make up.

This week the Gophers have one game, but it's a tall order -- Thursday at Maryland.  Beat the team that leads the league and they may be on to something.

#-3: Gopher women's hockey (Re-Entry!).  Swept Minnesota State-Mankato this weekend at Ridder, but I worry about the Saturday result, when the Mavericks pushed the Golden Gophers to Overtime before Taylor Wente saved her teammates' asses, 3-2.  May not be a big deal; after all, they remain the Alydar to Wisconsin's Affirmed in the rankings.  But is it clear-cut that it'll be Goldy Gopher vs. Bucky Badger for all the marbles in Hamdent, Ct. come March 24?

These players finish the regular season this weekend at Bemidji St.

#-4: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -3).  I'm afraid there's still no point in thinking the grapplers will make some noise in the NCAAs this year, Gable Steveson excepted.  But they crushed Indiana 34-3 to finish B1G play 6-2.  However, they are not done with the regular season yet.  Weirdly enough, they host Rider Thursday at ... Northrop Auditorium??  I've never been there, but I kind of want to go now, city planning meeting for our roads be damned.

#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -4).  Finished the first "half" of the year by beating Houston Wednesday at Target Center, 121-111, an effort that was good (especially for Jeff Teague, who came back from injury with 27 Points and twelve Assists) but meant nothing because The Bastard San Diego Rockets were just mailing it in on the road in the final game before the All-Star Break.  The Woofie Dogs are still out of the playoff picture by a few games and with a few teams between them and the eighth spot.  And "Standrew" Wiggins is still not earning his keep.  Don't know how Karl-Anthony Towns or Josh Okogie fared at the ASG in Charlotte over the weekend.

They resume this week with back-to-back roadies versus New York and Milwaukee over the weekend.  They then host Sacramento Monday.

#-6: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -6).  Got screwed out of a win through a bullshit foul call at the end of the Nebraska game Wednesday in Lincoln.  Bounced back by throttling Indiana at The Barn Saturday by 21.  Joey Brackets still has this team in, legitimately albeit as an 11-seed.  They can either bolster or damage their tournament host this screening week with a huge game at home against Michigan Thursday, and a road game versus Rutgers Sunday.

#-7: Gopher softball (Last Week: -2).  Still trying to get a measure of how good this team is, or not.  Both wins were shutouts -- 10-0 (mercy-ruled after five) against Notre Dame, 4-0 over Cal.  But they got doubled up by Tennessee and got the shit beat out of them, 17-6, by Florida St.  (These games were all in Clearwater, Fla., BTW.)

This club next travels to Tuscaloosa, Ala., for five tilts: Two against host Alabama, two vs. Louisiana-Monroe, and a Sunday early afternoon capper against Missouri St.

#-8: Gopher baseball (Re-Entry!).  And now these guys join the survey!  After the most successful season in my lifetime, the U. has high hopes coming into this year.  And so far, they're ... on a three-game losing streak.  They started off beating Gonzaga before getting crushed by New Mexico and defending champion Oregon St. (both teams rolled up 11 Runs on the U.).  They then bookended their sojourn to Surprise, Ariz. by losing to the Bulldogs, 6-5.  Max Meyer & Co. have started off on a false note.

No tournament this weekend; they are in Dallas to play a three-Game series against a school that has decided it is a baseball school, Dallas Baptist.

#-9: Wild (Last Week: -5).  This may have been the shittiest screening week this franchise has ever had.  They go 0-3, losing all three games at the X, all in humiliating fashion.  On Tuesday they blow a two-Goal lead and lose to Philadelphia, 5-4.  On Friday they blow a three-Goal lead to bumbling New Jersey and lose in Overtime, also 5-4.  And on Sunday afternoon, in front of a national TV audience to celebrate "Hockey Day In America" (which seems kind of redundant since we already celebrated "Hockey Day In Minnesota" and we all know ours is better), they get castrated and beaten over their heads with their own dicks on Power Play Goals and get shut out by St. Louis, 4-0.

The whole sorry goddamn team sucks right now.  The ones who suck the worst are, not coincidentally, the ones who might be traded in an impending fire sale -- scared-to-shoot Charlie Coyle, double-teamed Eric Staal (who really missed Mikko Koivu, and BTW, I was so wrong about the role Captain Koivu played for this club), errant Jason Zucker, and the sieve that is Devan Dubnyk.  Meanwhile, Matt Dumba still is fighting to get back for this season, even though with the way the Mild are playing, maybe it's best to shut it down till next year.

Meanwhile I was listening to Michael Russo of The Athletic about some insights and he relayed another key reason the Wild have gone to shit.  He traces General Manager Paul Fenton's move to put Defenseman Nate Prosser on waivers.  Russo never understood that move.  Not only was Prosser a popular teammate in the locker room, but it also forced a break-up of the pairing of Jonas Brodin and Nate Spurgeon (I think?).  That destroyed chemistry and heralded a tailspin that continues to this day.  So while you can pin a lot on the players, Fenton has made some questionable moves as well.  Sure, it's his first year.  But I think that you can pin the blame on the downward trajectory of his team's season to this move he made.

And yet, and yet, if the season were to end today, this motherfucking team would still be in the playoffs.  Well, I be a monkey's uncle!  That is the only fuckin' reason I'm not giving these losers a #-Infinity.  They've got four games this screening week -- home to Anaheim tonight, back-to-back roadies vs. the Rangers and Detroit, then home to St. Louis for a second straight Sunday -- and we'll see if these goddamn players have any pride to pull themselves off the ice.  Fuck.

Will 30 Minutes Make All The Difference?

I thought I had bitched about it at length, but going back through my blog post, it seems as if the only I have written down my complaints about waking up at 5:30 in the morning to report for work at 6:30 was the first time I started training at work.  And to think it was more than six months ago.

Anyway, I have complained about not getting enough sleep, and after trying it out, I have come to the conclusion that getting up at 5:30 just wasn't going to work for me.  It has always a been a drag waking up that early, but beyond that, I think it got to my head.  You see, to me, the morning begins at 6 a.m.  Any time waking up before then and you're working overnights, in my humble opinion.  I used to do that, but that was when I was in my twenties.  My body's too old for that shit now.  I would wake up at 5:30 and invariably I would think to myself, "What am I, a farmer?" and I would hit the snooze button on my phone.

It is just too early for me.  It got to the point where my objection/hate for my 6:30 start time was both psychological and philosophical.  So when I learned that the other person who holds the same title as I works 7-3:30, and that I was sort-of expected to hold those same hours, I almost wanted to leap at the chance.  Almost, because I fear change, and as much as I decided I hated a 6:30 call, I have gotten used to it.  What would await me if I started a half-hour later?  Traffic, although it's gummed up a lot in the winter, is a breeze, but is going out 30 minutes later going to mean I hit way more traffic?  I have thought a lot about where I would park if I came a half-hour later.  Parking ain't great there, and now I am almost certainly forced to walk a ways because people who start earlier will get the prime spots.  How will that affect my lunch/sleep time?  And I had thought a lot about what I would do for that last half-hour.  We are usually fighting to find work at the tail end of our shifts, and now that I am shifted back to 3:30, I really don't know what I'm going to do, especially if (such as today, the day after Presidents' Day when many companies shut down) there isn't anything to do.  There are one or two people who stay behind and leave at 3:30 as well, but I really don't know what they find for work.  And now I will join/fight for work with them.  The only upshot to this is that my bosses all leave at 3, so if I can't find work, honestly, I don't know how they'll catch me.

With all those reservations, I still told my boss last week that, after saying that I wanted to think about it for a few weeks, I decided I want to push myself back 30 minutes, starting today/this morning.  To which he replied that, really, neither 6:30 nor 7 should be my start time; no, for my position, it actually should be 8-4:30.  The only reason that it's not is that work has been at such a premium that there would be nothing for me to do if I stuck around that far into the afternoon.  Which makes me think it might be better for me to stick with 6:30-3.  In fact, I don't know if all the reservations I have thought up in the above paragraph won't convince me that this would be a horrible idea if I see them come to fruition.  But, unfortunately, I can't change now and I don't think he would let me go back to 6:30-3.  And besides, I decided I had to do this because I felt like I deserved to wake up at the "decent" hour of 6 a.m. -- or, actually, 6:01 a.m., because I want to be firmly in the hour where morning begins.

I hope this isn't a bad idea.  Then again, I am already staying up before my first day with my new hours (oh, and I didn't tell my co-workers -- should I have?) because of this and a couple other things I feel I need to do before I hit the hay.  But hey, that's what the extra half-hour's for!

Tried to finally clear the deck late last night, and as soon as I turned on the light and stepped out, I heard a demented "WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" from next door.  It was the dog, alerted her owner(s), me and everyone else that I was shoveling at 1:30 in the morning.  And before I quit (I have never seen a snow pile up so high in the deck since it was rebuilt, so I don't know if I was going to finish anyway), a second dog from a neighboring lot let everybody know I was out there.  Dammit.

I just wanted to shovel in peace, man.  But it seems as though I woke everybody up on an early Monday morning.  So I just want to let you know that I might either get a sternly-worded note on my front door ... or shot by some crazy neighbor who thinks freaking out their dogs justifies homicide.

I Shouldn't Be Here

Yeah, I talked about it, and I still made it out here with one bar left, but I am writing this from Caffetto right now and sort-of regretting it.  I could be home sorting through my papers, or going through my parents' mail, but I'm not.  Instead I'm blog posting this and maybe buying things on Amazon.

One further regret involves eating.  I made a huge plate of spaghetti (by myself!  And it was decent!) and I don't think I needed to eat anything more than that.  But I went out ... but not just to Caffetto.  I had the urge to walk off the spaghetti and treat myself with ice cream from Milkjam, then "exercising" back to Caffetto (oh yeah -- I also thought about going to the gym, but I decided not to because there were no sports to watch while I'd be exercising), where I used my discount to get a large hot chocolate and a slice of carrot cake.  That's a lot of food for a stomach not necessarily asking for nourishment.  And yet I went out and ate and not one but two different places.

And on top of all that is the ten bucks I spent, the day my total bank accounts went below two grand after I paid off my credit card bill.  I used to freak out when my money ran that low, and yet even with a full-time job I am below that.

Is this self-destructive behavior?

Didn't Know There Was A State Park!

Dell apparently has a bundling agreement with Bing.  So, whenever I turn on my laptop, I am faced with a different wallpaper.  It's one of those Bing wallpapers, with a different picture popping up with a description and two ways you can learn more about something in that picture -- through Bing, of course.

I have never not liked the screengrab.  Most of them are landscape vista photos, of deserts and forests and mountains and beaches, etc.  The description comes with a solicitation of whether or not you like the photo.  I have never said "No, I hate it," because I love all of them.  Seriously, this is a great idea to both invite me to learn something and to freshen up my laptop with something new every day.

Today's grab takes me back, sort of.  It's a desert setting.  When I tap the description it says "El Paso."  Really, my old stomping grounds?  Well, El Paso is a desert, so I could see that.  But the other links point me to Franklin Mountains State Park.  In my six months interning down there, I had never heard of Franklin Mountains State Park.  But apparently, it is the largest urban state park within a city's limits.  I had free time while interning down there, and I got bored down there constantly.  Man, I could have used a day or two here.

At any rate, thanks for the link, Bing!

My Latest Obsession: Filling Up My Gas Tank Every Eight Days

One of the blessings about working relative close to home is the gasoline I save.  I would much rather have gotten a job with the health insurance company, but their headquarters is clear on the other side of town.  It may be triple the commute I need to take now.

Because of that, my tank of gas, which holds only up to about ten gallons, is spared constant refilling.  Well, that doesn't stop me from driving until the low gas light pops up, and then I drive miles beyond that until all the gas bars disappear.  But it takes me about a week to do that.  Well, less than that if I drive all around town, which, admittedly, I do a lot.

However, something has kicked in lately, maybe since the New Year.  I have been driving less.  I swear I have.  The snow and winter has discouraged me from driving all around town, and the snowstorms that have hit the past week or so has only enhanced my urge to stay home.  I get cabin fever, but the upside is that I don't use/waste much gas.

I have always tried to limit my driving so I fill my tank up weekly.  But so far in 2019 not only have I done that, but I have noticed that I had enough gas to extend it a day.  So, back in January, I paid attention to the fact that it took me not seven but eight days before I went to the gas station, and I felt proud about that.  And I have done that, I think, twice more, thus extending my fill-up day from Friday to Saturday to Sunday.

And now I am working on Monday -- I mean, I am working on extending my tank to Monday.  I have three bars left, which should mean I'm sitting pretty.  But I have the itch to go out -- namely to exercise tonight and tomorrow, and maybe both Target and Caffetto tomorrow.  That could zap my bars very quickly.  But now I am totally OCD'ing over making it to Monday.  Maybe I'll just sleep in tonight?

When Are They Coming Home?

So, my parents are supposed to be coming home soon.  I have not picked up any of my things like I wanted to in the six months they've been gone.  Fuck that; it just wasn't happening.  What I can only concern myself with now is getting the house clean, and getting as much of my stuff sorted out, when my folks come home.

Here's the problem: I don't know when they're coming home.  At least I don't think.  It was supposed to be early March, but I've been canvassing their e-mails, and it looks as though they will be flying home to the United States, but coming into Las Vegas in early March, not Minnesota.  That might mean they won't be "coming home."  Or, they are coming home and haven't booked a flight from Vegas to here.  I don't know.

By the way, I haven't asked them directly because I'm afraid of what they'll say.  I have tried to ask them indirectly and they don't give me an answer.  Don't judge me.

This gums up my plan of getting the house clean one more time before they come back home.  The ex-stripper who does it, ****e*, was here just a dozen days ago, and because I don't exactly know when, I've been reluctant to give her a day she can come back here.  If it's too early, the house will just get too dirty by the time they come back.  But if it's too late, the house will be dirty and I'll have to cancel with ****e*.

In other words, things just suck right now because everything is so up in the air.  And I don't know exactly what to do.  Yeah, when I have I heard myself say that before?

Oh, "You Said?" Oh, Excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse Me!

So at work, a co-worker got a vegan meal.  She was raving about it -- "The best sandwich she's ever had," she said (or maybe not).  She also got cheese which wasn't cheese and cole slaw, to which I oh-so-innocently asked -- because, hey, cole slaw has no meat, right? -- "So, the cheese is vegan and the slaw is not?"

And this is how she corrected me: "I said it was vegan, so it's all vegan."

Oh, "You said?"  It's one thing that I did not understand that all the items at this place are vegan.  But my real offense, according to you, is not paying attention to what you said.  Oh, I'm sorry that I was so arrogant in not understanding everything you said the first time you said it.  I'll remember from now on to hang onto your every word, pardon me!

Hey, news flash: How about you say "It's all vegan.  It's a vegan place."  Then I would have gone, "Oh, yeah, that's right!  How stupid of me!"  But apparently I should have apologized to you (I didn't, BTW) because everything you say needs to reach the ears of the entire goddamn company immediately and without any misunderstanding.  My apologies!

(eyeroll) Maybe she's one of those stuck-up vegans.  Ffs.

No, Rep. Omar -- What Is Wrong With You?

I don't want to be The Liberal Who Mysterious Only Yells At Liberals, but goddammit, my Representative shit the bed again:

How Ilhan Omar is dealing with the aftermath of her controversial remarks, as Pelosi says she won't be stripped from committee spots, Engel declines to comment, and Omar says: "What's wrong with you?" when asked about her morning tweet on Trump. pic.twitter.com/yPdEq3D7N2

— Manu Raju (@mkraju) February 14, 2019

Did she just say, "What is wrong with you?" I am absolutely serious when I ask if Ilhan Omar is a mean girl in high school.  That sentence does trigger me.  But I shocked, shocked I tell you, that no one else seems to think that such a spiteful retort is beneath the dignity of a congresswoman.  Most of liberal Twitter thinks she's defending herself and that Manu Raju and all his co-journalists at CNN are pro-Trump/Republicans for even deigning to ask such a question.

Rep. Omar and her backers have to understand that The Media, as with all things in life, is complex.  CNN should be excoriated for many things, the first of which is continuing to bring in Republican hacks to lie for the current administration.  But that is screeching debate talk that fills time on the network.  That isn't journalism.  What Raju and other reporters do is journalism.  And as an elected official who represents her constituency, me included, part of her duties is to deal with reporters doing their jobs in a way that dignifies her job.

Yes, what Raju asked can be -- not is, can be -- construed as gotcha journalism.  But first of all, Rep. Omar opened herself up that embarrassment by being tone deaf when it came to criticizing the powerful lobbying group AIPAC.  (She deleted a retweet of someone who may or may not be joking about Jewish stereotypes.  At first I thought she did something really stupid, but now I think deleting it was a CYA move, and a smart one.)  And second of all, there are many better and less whiny ways to deflect Raju's questions, or even bite back at his questions, without coming off as -- and I know I will catch hell saying it, but I'll say it anyway -- a bitch.  Why couldn't she just say something to the effect of, "I will refer you back to my statement, and I will not comment any further.  Now if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting to go to"?  Instead, she reacted, if not "angrily," (a word many of Omar's staunchest defenders pounced upon as a sign of white privilege), then like a brat.

So far in this term, Omar and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez have been the new representatives that have drawn the most attention.  Much of it is good, from the left, but we need to be honest that much of that attention is also racist from Republicans.  I have no doubt that Islamaphobia spurs much of the scrutiny Omar is facing right now.  But nevertheless I am seeing Omar, frankly, buckling under in, first, being flippant about quoting Biggie when dissing undue AIPAC influence in Congress, then trying to fend off questions from reporters about unintentionally using anti-Semitic tropes as she criticizes the power of lobbying groups in Washington, D.C.  Meanwhile, Ocasio-Cortez (or AOC) is doing splendidly.  Her mastery of Twitter in ridiculing Republicans while also showing knows everything about the topics she wants to tackle in Congress is making her a rock star.  She is kicking ass, and she is having a hell of a time doing it.  Omar, on the other hand (and despite ripping Elliott Abrams a new asshole about crimes he helped cover up in our name back in the eighties), sounds like someone who loves to wade into a heated subject without either knowing everything about it or caring how she sounds when she tweets about it.

And yes, she's having a crash course in optics when it blows back in her face.  But rolling with the punches appears to be the more important thing she needs to learn right now, and in my humble opinion, it is in fact Omar who has thin skin.  If she reacts to one trite question about a mess she made with "What is wrong with you?" like an abusive parent talking to a child who accidentally spilled milk for the second time during breakfast, she has no fucking chance standing up to Trump or Bitch McConnell or pipsqueak Kevin McCarthy or any of the Republican hitmen who undoubtedly are researching her background.

(BTW, I am not completely certain that the entire truth about her childhood, as irrelevant it might be to her work as a representative, has seen the light.  And she has taken up the wrong position in regards to the shit mess in Venezuela.  Oh, and I am absolutely sure that she will never visit the part of her constituency north of 694, where I live.)

I have no choice but to give her time and space.  But for fuck's sake, I need her to think before she tweets, use her intellect and passion to do some good in Congress, put her head down and fucking work, stop doing anything else that's stupid, and find a goddamn better way to address reporters when they annoy her.  Trashing The Media is what Republicans do, and if she wants to delegitimize them, she will agree to a fact-free world Republicans have made, and she will be a victim of the worst, most violent fantasy worlds the right will want to cook up about her and fellow Muslims.  The Media isn't her friend, but they seek the truth (for the most part), and Rep. Omar should use her head and fucking understand that.

In other words, Ilhan Omar needs to do better.  Starting now.  Please.

Edited at 4:49 p.m. Thursday evening to change this last bit.  Actually, I'm being harsh.  Rep. Omar did apologize, which has been accepted by many Jewish political groups.  Moreover, she clapped back at President Trump who had the brass balls to call her comments "lame" and demand she resign instantly.  (Can't find the tweet in which she demands he apologize for using anti-Semitic tropes, however.)  This is the representative I want -- working hard, acting smart, going after Republicans and not The Media.  More of this please, Rep. Oman.

What Do Ya Mean Wrong Password?

You know, I was going to blog about something else, but I'll write about this instead: It took me about a dozen times for me to put in my password correctly just now.  I've had times where it's taken me five, six times to do it.  But never before, in my life, have I had to re-type my password at least twelve goddamn motherfucking times.  And I swear I typed it correctly by the third or fourth attempt.  But what I just did was fucking ridiculous.  I mean, twelve times?  I couldn't've typed it in wrong that many times in a row!  Argh!!

I'm tired and I have to go to work now.  Why did I have to stay up researching serial killers and then looking at porn to get my mind off of serial killers?

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

Hey, this is gonna be short because five inches of wet snow fell today and my garage door is still frozen shut so I have to shovel and I barely cleared enough of the driveway to spin my car off of the street, and my chest feels as though I'm about to have a heart attack and fuck it, I don't want to shovel anymore because I want to see Stan & Ollie instead, and I want to tuck this survey away before I have to leave.  So:

#-1: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -2).  It has been kind of fascinating to see the maturation of Lindsay Whalen, Head Coach.  Once she made a starting lineup change and decided to ride her starting five all game, she has salvaged a season that was at first miraculous and then demoralizing.  A close victory at Indiana followed by a relatively safe home win over Northwestern has given the Gophers a four-game winning streak and the top spot in this week's WMNSS.  There is still a lot to repair, and both wins came despite the club continuing to run out of gas in the Second Half.  But hey, a winning streak's a winning streak.  Can that streak continue with contests versus Purdue on the road and Penn St. at home?

#-2: Gopher softball (Re-Entry!).  The Kendyl Lindamann-less Golden Gopher softballers began their 2019 season last weekend with two shutout wins, a loss to Ole Miss, and a rainout vs. George Mason.  I have no idea how this squad is supposed to fair this year, but it can't be as good without Lindamann, like I described last week.  At any rate, the U. stays in Florida and goes from Orlando to Clearwater to face a quartet of BcS programs: Tennessee, Notre Dame, Florida St. and Cal.

#-3: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -1).  Overall, this is a down week for local teams.  The grapplers saw their four-game winning streak snapped at Nebraska Friday, losing 21-18.  The killer match probably was at 149, where #19 Tommy Thorn got Major Decisioned by the Cornhuskers' Jordan Shearer.  That upset helped the #10 Huskers upset the #7 Goofers.  Sure, they came back to blank Maryland Sunday, 45-0 (the club's first shutout in conference play since 2012), but shit, it's Maryland.  But hey, Gable Steveson ran his winning streak to 26 matches.

They finish B1G play at Maturi Sunday against Indiana.

#-4: Timberwolves (Last Week: -5).  I think there are still a few of us who think the Woofie Dogs can make a run, but after 1-3 week, come on, guys.  You can't lose a close game to a Memphis team that is about to have a clearance sale, nor get beat soundly by an Orlando team that is bottoming out.  And Andrew Wiggins is becoming more and more of a passive dog.

At least the All-Star Break is coming up, after a home date Wednesday vs. Houston.  Karl-Anthony Towns will have a busy week in Charlotte, but maybe the rest of the team can just, you know, practice or some shit.

#-5: Wild (Last Week: -7).  It's white-knuckle time with the Mild, who dropped three-of-four this past week.  Worse than that is the loss for the season of Captain Mikko Koivu, who tore his ACL in the first of those losses, to Buffalo Tuesday.  A lot of Mild fans might actually be happy Koivu's gone for the year; they complain that he can't score.  But he still provided good defense and was the club's faceoff maven.  It will be weird to not see him on the ice, but can this team find a replacement who might also give these guys a jolt?  For all the shitty play, they are, as of press time, still a playoff team.  But maybe home tilts against Philadelphia, New Jersey and St. Louis (the latter party of Hockey Day In America, which comes a fortnight after Hockey Day In Minnesota) may finally doom this team for good.

#-6: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -4).  It's also white-knuckle time after a winless screening week, where they couldn't make a three to save their lives at home against Wisconsin, and then got battered around at Michigan St.  In the latest Bracketology on ESPN.com, Joe Lunardi still has the U. as one of the last actual tournament teams.  But beating Nebraska and Indiana this week -- two games they should win -- would help secure their case for The Big Dance.

#-7: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -6).  That should do it for the male U. icers, who went to Penn St. over the weekend and got pasted by the Nittany Lions over two games by a combined 13-4 score.  Again, it's Motzko's first year, but the cache of going to Mariucci and making it rock is receding quickly in the distance, and Motzko and Athletic Director Mark Coyle need to make sure the turnaround happens fast.  They visit Ohio St. this weekend.

#-8: Lynx (Re-Entry!).  OK, I don't know what the hell is going on, now that franchise cornerstone Maya Moore is taking the year off for "personal and ministerial" reasons.  It just so happens that this decision comes on the heels of the organization designating Moore as a "core player," which apparently is the WNBA version of the franchise tag.  Moore could be sincere about taking time off; after all, the WNBA season is the polar opposite of the seasons in women's basketball in other countries, and many players play internationally and domestically to make as much money as possible.  Or, Moore could be pissed off that she is essentially subject to the reserve clause and is going to fight like hell to either get the raise she deserves -- and as a Top 5 player in the league, I can't say she doesn't deserve it -- or get a trade.

It didn't help matters that Cheryl Reeve, Jynx Head Coach and General Manager, appeared on Barreiro shortly after the news of Moore's "sabbatical" and, according to some who tweeted, was very defensive about what happened.  Reeve has now lost two of her Big Five (Seimone Augustus has just re-upped and AFAIK, Rebekkah Brunson and Sylvia Fowles are still happy).  And the shooting of a wing like Moore is something you can't quite replace.  Besides, Moore was with the team all season last year, and they crashed out in a one-and-done.

I said this many years before and was wrong.  But I think I can say this with a ton of confidence now: This finally signals The End Of The Minnesota Lynx Dynasty.

I Wanna Break Out!!!

There are so many things I should be doing at home -- taking out the laundry that's been sitting in the dryer for over a week, going through all my stuff, paying my parents' bills.  But fuck it.  There is more snow coming, but not before I could, theoretically, shovel the rest of the driveway and then go to My Favorite Stripclub (Non-Cover Edition) because I have been saving up a wad of singles and my wallet can't bulge out any more.

This is totally irresponsible of me.  Maybe my parents are right.  But my parents aren't here either, so let's go!

Yeah, This Winter Just Broke Me

I got so depressed by the surprise (at least to me) snowstorm today that I just decided to buy a whole large pizza from Pizza Hut and eat it.  I was able to eat a whole medium once before, so in a way, eating a large constitutes progress.

But goddammit, this winter just broke me.  I've been slipping and sliding my car so dangerously because the Polar Vortex froze the snow that had already fallen, I couldn't plow the half-foot that fell last week because my garage door is frozen, and now I have to face not one, not two, but three goddamn snowstorms over the next week.  And my fucking garage door is still frozen and I still have no goddamn clue as to how to fix that.

I'm done, I guess.  I really should get around to shoveling the snow that fell today, but ... I don't want to.  That's the classic definition of Seasonal Affective Disorder.

(sigh) Man, I should finally get around to working off this pizza gut.  Nah, maybe not.

Some Phantom Race Against The Clock

So yeah, the snow's coming in -- some today, a hell of a lot more Tuesday.  And my garage door is still frozen shut.  I should get that open somehow, and I should take steps to do so.  But how?

Maybe I should get an extension cord and use a hair dryer to thaw the ice stuck to the bottom of the door.  But kind of looks ghetto.  Or, maybe I should buy an infrared lamp.  But golly, that would just be me, wouldn't it -- shelling out money for a product I would use exactly once.

Hmmm.  I should get on this.

I'm So Fucking Over This Snow Shit

There's supposed to be a snowstorm tomorrow -- at least two inches, maybe four.  Damn, and I wanted to go eat at St. Paul after this experiment at the U. I'm going to.

And there's the motherfucking big one -- probably half a foot, maybe more going into my workweek.  My garage door is still frozen shut, so if this storm lines up like the meteorologists are saying, I'm fucked.

And then there might be another one Thursday.  Hey, I still can't go anywhere because the roads are still too slippery.  That's because of the damn snow; we don't need more, ffs.

Took a nap at 5:30.  Except that it wasn't a nap because I woke up between 11:30 and midnight.  Feel refreshed, and it's weird-good feeling to be awake right now.

After I got home from work yesterday I saw that I got a text from my boss asking me to, almost entirely, replicate my work shift from the past two Saturdays for today -- namely, go to the second department I trained for (which, quite frankly, I still don't have the hang of yet) at 6 this morning.  I really shouldn't like such early hours, but I'll be mostly by myself for the first quarter of the day (and I'll largely be left alone for the first half).  I'm really starting to think that, difficulties doing my job notwithstanding, the main determinant for whether or not I like a job is whether or not I'm alone.

Now, whether or not I'll be able to stay awake my whole day is another story.  Feeling fresh as a daisy at 3 a.m. might not translate to feeling the same at 1 in the afternoon.

Frozen Garage Door? Well, That's A New One

Snowstorm hit during work yesterday/Thursday.  How bad?  Well, I was hoping I could charge up the driveway through the snow, but I was assuming that not too much fell.  When I saw the mound of snow, I thought, "Oh, shit," and when my car hit what seemed like a wall, I had to park over to the side.  My plan of either going to bed or cooking a steak was ruined; I had to plow.

After eating, surfing the 'Net and feeling sorry for myself for about 40 minutes, I finally had the will to get my car off the street.  But when I tried opening the garage door, I would hear it try to go up, stop, then go back down.  I fiddled with all the controls for a solid 40 minutes before I went to the Internet to learn that I should try disengaging the emergency release cord.  There, I was able to move the garage door up manually.  Except that I couldn't.  And upon further inspection, it looks as though it is frozen shut.  Damn, for all the winter nights where it was well below freezing, this is the first time I can remember the garage door being frozen like that.

Well, since the snowblower is in the garage, I had to shovel my way up the driveway.  And I half-assed it because half a foot of snow fell.  I cleared out enough to get my car on the driveway.  I went back after dinner to clear out the rest of the chunky, end-of-driveway, heart attack snow, but I just didn't have the energy to get through the rest, so, like, 60% of my driveway is still covered in snow.  I'll do more of it tomorrow.  And hopefully I'll get it done by Tuesday ... when we're supposed to get the next goddamn blizzard.

Fuck me.  Like I say, we don't need this white shit after Christmas.

Goddammit, Senator, You Broke My Heart

Everyone is just human.  That's the shittiest part, especially when it comes to voting for, and believing in, a leader of the free world.

Amy Klobuchar has been a rock-solid Senator who was overwhelmingly re-elected to the chamber for a third term last year.  She is seen by the left as a reliable progressive and by independents as bipartisan.  In other words, she is as non-controversial, and as universally respected, as any member of Congress I can think of.

And that is why she is holding a huge announcement Sunday afternoon at Boom Island -- to run for President.  And that is probably also why there is a hit piece that came out late last night from The Huffington Post that tells of her abusing her staff.

Frankly, this is a deal-breaker for me.  Well, it's not if she survives the Democratic primary.  If it's her vs. Trump, you bet your sweet ass I'll vote for Klobuchar, and without much hesitation.  But until then, you goddamn right I'll try and find someone else for the Democratic nomination -- someone who doesn't treat her staff as inferior.

I'm sorry to feel this way.  That story exposes her in a very negative light, but one that many people can ignore when it comes to politics and leading our nation.  But being belittled by an authority figure hits home for me, and I've vowed never to empower bullies, which I'm afraid Amy Klobuchar is.  Now, in the piece there are many people who go on the record as saying they felt totally respected by her when they worked for the senator.  And (and this is important) you have to remember that this burn-book accusation is coming out around the time of her impending announcement to run for the presidency.  Elizabeth Warren was exposed as claiming Native American heritage when going to school in Texas right after she announced she was thinking of running for office.  And don't forget the top two officials in Virginia trying to explain allegations of racism and rape.  All of these pieces have the markings of a Republican hit job.  At the very least, understand what the enemy's plan is.

But also in the piece there are many others who say that she isn't a bully, that instead she is very intelligent and committed to her office, and so she demands that level of intelligence and commitment from her underlings.  To me, that's code for, "I'm a bully, and I will tell you when you're not good enough for me."  (Aside: She is the daughter of famed local sports columnist Jim Klobuchar, who was a raging alcoholic through her childhood.  She is also the first born, and so that is a combination which can create a driven, high-achieving child who secretly hopes that her success earns the love of her father.  And that behavior inevitably leads to bullying.)  Like I said before, the Democratic primary is the time for us to be picky.  We should be having a fight, even a loud and contentious one, over who gets to go toe-to-toe with Trump.  And after seeing this, I'm going out of state to find my candidate.

Oh, and in the meantime I've unsubscribed to her e-mail list.  Sorry, no can do.

A Surfeit Of Coke

It's weird: Coming home from working out Monday night I thought about making a quick trip to the Target on the way home because I wanted to make sure I had some pop that would last me through the 1-2 punch of snowstorms that we'll be afflicted with this week (well, today and tomorrow).  I decided to try and get Wendy's instead of Target, but Wendy's was closed.

But on my home I caved and went to Taco Bell -- partly to eat, partly to buy a cup of pop that I could fill up and bring home.  I have one Coke bottle left, but it's just about gone, so I needed reinforcements.

But then yesterday/Tuesday I overloaded on Coke.  I went to the theater twice to see two movies, the animated Spider-Man film and Aquaman, and I got Coke (flavored) each time.  And, inbetween flicks I went to Arby's to eat fish because you're supposed to eat fish for Chinese New Year.  And since it was Happy Hour at Arby's, I got a small fry and a small Coke.  And I brought the cups home with me, all with free refills.

So I have the almost-empty bottle of Coke, the Coke I got from Taco Bell, not one but two Cokes from the movies, plus a Coke (actually it was a Barq's Root Beer ... I had to change it up) from Arby's.  And -- and I didn't really realize it until I counted all the Cokes in the fridge last night -- that is not counting the craft pop I got from the local craft pop store.

Therefore, ironically enough, I have six, count 'em, six bottles of pop in my fridge.  And I was scared I was going to run out.  I should be more scared that I'm gonna get diabetes, you know what I mean?

You Know, I Was Hoping I Could Relax For Chinese New Year

First of all, Happy Chinese New Year.

I took the day off from work because, hey, it's the New Year, and you should celebrate the first of the year by not working.  But instead of the ideal of, um, not shoveling, I shoveled because there was a snow storm.  (And by the way, the National Weather Service of the Twin Cities, through Twitter, stated that this storm was going to taper to the point that only one or two inches of snow was going to fall in the metro area.  I took out my yardstick and I measured about three, and this was while snow was still coming down.  Psh!)  I shoveled before going to the first movie I saw today, the animated Spider-Man movie, then I shoveled after coming back from the first movie I saw today.  So, I guess going to the movies was relaxing on my day off (and, BTW, I only ate fish [at Arby's] per Chinese New Year tradition), but still, I would rather have not needed to shovel, you know?

Moreover, more damn snow is coming tomorrow.  And that really blows because I have to go to the west metro for a taste test.  Isn't the weather such that, if a first snowstorm drops more snow than predicted, the air is so tapped of moisture that a second storm that immediately follows it will just bring flurries?  Maybe?  No?

The Weekly Minnesota Sports Survey

#-1: Gopher wrestling (Last Week: -3).  It's a weird survey in that the two teams this screening week won't even sniff an NCAA title.  But they had impressive performances over the past two days when other squads who have higher ceilings noticeably slipped, so I should recognize these two teams this survey.

And I will give the nod for the top spot to the grapplers.  On Super Bowl Sunday afternoon at Maturi, the U. won its fourth Dual in a row, ripping Purdue, 24-11, by winning seven of the ten matches.  But don't let the 12-2 record fool you.  They have a relatively easy end of the schedule, which will continue with a road Dual Friday versus Nebraska and a home one Sunday afternoon against Maryland.  But they got their asses beat by 14 to Oklahoma St. and Iowa -- those are the two schools that will contend for the NCAA championship.  Minnesota won't be even close.  Sorry.

#-2: Gopher women's basketball (Last Week: -8).  Meanwhile, it looks as though Coach Whalen may have learned to adjust.  I was extremely down (and sarcastic) on this team, predicting that its losing streak will extend to six.  But although neither Northwestern nor Rutgers is Wisconsin, Minnesota beat both teams.  Moreover, Rutgers was ranked, and instead of wilting, the Golden Gophers actually improved in the Second Half, cruising to a 60-46 win Super Bowl Sunday late afternoon.

The key to these two victories may have been a lineup change.  Whalen has started the game going smaller; she has put in Jasmine Brunson into the starting lineup while Annalese Lamke, who had been starting but platooning with Brunson, has been eased onto the bench.  (Note the box score against the Scarlet Knights; Whalen basically played the game with five players.)

Could this be the key to turning around the season?  Maybe.  But the other night I looked up Charlie Creme's bracketology on ESPN.com and ... nope, nothing.  Man, from being a 5-seed to nowhere ... it's going to be a monumental climb back into The Big Dance.  The obstacles this week: At Indiana Wednesday, home to Northwestern Sunday.

#-3: Gopher women's hockey (Last Week: -1).  Oh, fuck.  The Gophers lost to Minnesota-Duluth Saturday in Overtime, 3-2.  Sure, they came back the next afternoon to beat the Bulldogs, 5-3.  But that was enough to ... um, rise up to #1 in the polls because Wisconsin lost a game at Bemidji St.  Oh, OK.  They have a bye week.

#-4: Gopher men's basketball (Last Week: -4).  Avenged a humiliating loss earlier in the year by beating Illinois at Williams Wednesday by 11, but choked on a Second Half lead at Purdue Super Bowl Sunday early afternoon and lost by ten.  Still a 9-seed in Joe Lunardi's latest Bracketology.  But they will be sorely tested this screening week with contests versus Wisconsin Wednesday at The Barn and Michigan St. Saturday afternoon in East Lansing.

#-5: Timberwolves (Last Week: -6).  Outlasted Memphis by two in Overtime Wednesday, but failed to come back and lost by one to Denver Saturday.  Once again, Andrew Wiggins was just there.  Once again, Karl-Anthony Towns put his imprint on the game ... and whined to the refs late in the game whenever he didn't get a call.  And somehow, with Jeff Teague, Robert Covington and Tyus Jones still out, Jerryd Bayless is putting in crucial yeoman's work; he led the Woofs with 19 Points in the win over The Bastard Vancouver Grizzlies.  But they're still three Games out of the final playoff spot in the West.

The team goes from an easy screening week to a busy one.  It starts with a three-game road trip to Memphis, Orlando and New Orleans, the last two of which is an arduous back-to-back.  They then come home Monday to face the Clippers ... who are the team that currently holds the final playoff spot in the West.

#-6: Gopher men's hockey (Last Week: -7).  Split vs. Michigan at 3M.  These Goofers rank 26th in the PairWise.  Ah, yeah.  A pair at Penn St. this weekend.

#-7: Wild (Last Week: -2).  Not a good time to slip into a Wild Card spot with a pair of losses, played back-to-back, to The Bastard North Stars (which supplanted Minnesota for a division playoff spot) and Chicago.  This is where the rollercoaster goes down.  Meanwhile, General Manager Paul Fenton continues to tweak the edges of the team, placing J. T. Brown and (to my surprise) Nate Prosser on waivers and then sent them to Iowa while bringing up Luke Kunin and Kyle Rau.  This week the squad is busy af: At Buffalo tonight/Tuesday, home to Edmonton Thursday, then back-to-back weekend afternoon tilts at New Jersey and the Islanders over the weekend.

#-Infinity: Gopher softball (Re-Entry!).  Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait -- Kendyl Lindaman transferred to Florida?!  And she did it around Thanksgiving?!?!?!  Holy fucking shit!!  WHY??????????????  She had it so good here!  And she could have built something stronger!!  Instead she needed to go down to Florida for her career?!?!  She couldn't show how good she is in a Northern state?!?!?!  Fuck that!!!

Forget that I got totally blindsided by this news two months late.  This need to go where all the attention is -- and for softball, that will always be in Southern states where it's hot all year round -- is, no joke, warping the concept of competitive college sports against blue states in the north and, I mean this too, the west, favoring backward red states in the south.  Good luck to Lindaman, but to me, this sounds like she's jumping into a big pond where she'll be a fish equally little to all the others.  And this surely will damage the Gopher softball team and, I mean this, the program.  Again, we'll see what happens this season, but what would have been a Super Regional contender now looks like a club that may win the conference -- may -- but will be a permanent afterthought in College Softball Nation.  That is the damage Lindaman has done by transferring.

Hottest Babe In The 2019 Hooters Calendar: January

A really hot roster.  But I noticed something that annoys me: Most of the dozen babes have their arms in front of their hot bodies.  Why?  Why do they shield what is best about them?

It, unfortunately, to me, ruined the pictures of many of the Hooters waitresses: Caitlyn of Overland Park, Kan., Shaina of Fairview Heights, Ill. (mental note: When I go to St. Louis, I'll need to bring the calendar for her to sign), Jordan out of Oklahoma City, Okla., Brenna from Albuquerque, N.M., (one of two gingers, so that's nice), Ashley out of Jacksonville, N.C. ... all of these (and a couple others) are smoking hot, but their photographs are ruined because they have one of their arms hiding a part of them.  And the big picture, Briana of Sunrise, Fla., has a damn pool rail in front of her.  It's the most conspicuous part of her pic!  The eyes are drawn to a piece of metal!  WHY?!?!?!

Essentially, my pool is drawn from the girls whose arms are not covering their bodies.  There is Gwinnett, Ga.'s Rachael (the other redhead), but she's in a one-piece.  And there is Jessica, out of Charleston, S.C., a blonde in a two-piece, but it is a busy (though lacy) bikini top.  Covered a lot up there.  So, sort of by default, the title of hottest babe goes to Jacksonville's Blakelyn.  She is wearing a green two-piece, she has her right hand on her hip, and she threw her left hand up on her head, so she's showing off her body like "Bam!"

I have to say one thing, however: She looks like a co-worker of mine.  I don't know if I'm selecting Blakelyn despite of that fact, or because of that fact.  I might just avoid looking at her when I masturbate to the entire month.

The Dealership Is Gonna Judge Me

I forgot to add in my previous post that the low tire pressure indicator light is also on and is not shutting off.  Once again, the winter is making the car think my tires are low, no matter how many times I put air in it.

It was my plan to put some air in it before I came home from my cousin's place, at which I was watching the Super Bowl.  (Oh, by the way, I thought the defensive struggle was fascinating.  Seriously!)  I even asked them if there was a gas station between their place and mine.  There was, and I went there -- and unfortunately their air machine wasn't working.

And I could have gone somewhere else, but the freezing rain and ice has settled in and not backed off till later, like I had hoped.  There is some serious sliding going on right now, so I don't feel like going to a place which has a free air pump, at least not tonight.

Oh, today I did go online and, somewhat miraculously, I found an appointment time to bring my car in tomorrow/Monday.  (By the way, what happens after you hit 0% oil life is that the car counts the miles under which you passed 0, i.e. "-1 mile," "-2 miles," etc.  And the number blinks, too.  Thanks.)  Maybe I'll go to the gas station before heading off to the dealership to get air in my tires, assuming that somehow the ice has melted away.  But what if I don't?  The low tire pressure indicator light has been on all winter, and not because there air in my tires is low.  Like I said, I have put the proper amount of air in it a couple times this season and that indicator is still on, so it's the car, not me.  And yet, if there is such little air in my tires, or if I don't at least check how much is in there, and the dealership sees that there is little air in my tires, are they going to believe me when I say it's been on all winter, or are they going to think that it came on because I haven't been responsible for checking the air in my tires?  If the latter, will they judge me?  Moreover, should I care?

All this because a gas station from my cousin's to home doesn't have an air pump and because it's freezing rain outside.  Man, my life. ...

Super-Specific Predictions For Super Bowl LIII

So, after a one-year break, I'm back, not only predicting the Super Bowl, but stats and happening which I think will happen during the Super Bowl.  How much of it will come true?  Well, I won't go back to them if they're all wrong.

Let me start out by saying, without a bullet point, what the general key is: Who can set up the run better.  I know, I know, that's a very pat answer.  But it feels as though both the New England Patriots and Bastard Cleveland-By-Way-Of-St. Louis Rams rely on play-action.  So whoever can establish the run game first, and who can consistently run during the course of the game, should win the game.

Saying that, I can see the complexion of SBLIII change.  These teams appear to be equal in talent, so the decisions made by the coaches, Bill Belichick and Sean McVay, will take on added importance.  So I will go through my super-specific predictions in a somewhat chronological form:

1. I don't exactly know what happened to Todd Gurley.  I really don't.  And I believe that the surprise benching he has gotten late this season will continue.  He might start; he's the Rams' bellcow, and they've invested too much to just not let him start the Super Bowl, unless he's injured.  But he'll get, at most, 30 yards and maybe a vulture Touchdown.  The work instead goes to the fresher street free agent, journeyman C.J. Anderson, who will see a ton of carries and -- at least early on -- have some success as the Ram's Offensive Line sets an early tone.  He will finish with just under 100 yards.
2. You know how people say Belichick is best at locking down what he thinks is the opponent's biggest strength and making them beat the Patriots with something else?  I think he is going to stop the Rams' running game (numbers above are the Patriots stopping the run) and making Jared Goff throw the ball and win the game.  Goff has been shaky the past few games, and in the future, he is going to have more trouble shaking off a reputation (which may or may not have right now) that he is just an appendage of McVay.  However, I still believe that the wunderkind McVay will be able to see the Pats Defense create just enough holes for Goff to matriculate the ball down the field ... for the First Half, at least.  Goff winds up with less than 300 yards, but will complete, oh, two-thirds of this throws.
3. To me, this feels like a game where defenses will exert themselves.  And I believe one way it evinces itself is when the Rams have the ball.  I don't doubt that they'll find ways to get the ball down the field.  But you can't ever bet against Belichick just yielding TDs to the Rams.  I think this is where McVay shows his youngblood.  I predict Los Angeles will have many drives stall around the red zone.  Enter Rams Kicker Greg Zuerlein, who has been so automatic all year.  He will attempt, and make (and I know this is super-specific) five Field Goals in the game.
4. However, he will miss the Point After Touchdown on the sole TD L.A. scores.  Pure guess.
5. In the meantime, the New England Offense will have a hard time getting started because of the Rams' vaunted Defensive Line.  The key to beating the Pats is for Tom Brady to be flustered all game, and I think the D-Line will do that ... at least early on.  Nevertheless it should be a trying First Half for Brady as he gets acquainted to the Mercedes-Benz Stadium turf.  He'll be sacked three times in the First Half, once by Defensive Player Of The Year Aaron Donald.  And he'll throw a First Half Interception.
6. However ... Belichick is a master of Halftime adjustments, and having his Defense bend but not break in the First Half to keep the game manageable (New England will be trailing at half) will allow him to continue to use the run game.  And despite his Offensive Line having a crappy First Half, I think, with the help of some chipping by Sony Michel, James White, James Develin and Rex Burkhead, the run O will have a great Second Half.  They'll especially get runs up the middle and around left side.  With short passes to alleviate the continuing Rams pass rush, New England's Running Backs will total more than 300 yards from scrimmage and get one Touchdown.
7. That will help New England assert play action in the Second Half.  The Rams are very susceptible on slot play, and as the Rams (and Defensive Coordinator Wade Phillips) try to load up the box to stop the run, that'll open up the passing game -- especially up the middle, where Rams Cornerback Nickell Robey-Coleman will be put under the spotlight trying to hold up against Julian Edelman and Chris Hogan.  Eventually, as the Pats wear down the Rams D-Line, NRC will find himself on an island, and then running behind both Patriot Wide Receivers.  I expect both Edelman and Hogan to have big games.  I can even see Hogan gaining more yards than Edelman.  But I say both WRs will reach 100 yards and score a Touchdown in the Second Half.
8. OK, so this is where I think the game will be decided.  The Rams will win the First Half, but the Patriots will get back into it in the Second, so we'll be tied at 21 late in the Fourth Quarter.  Los Angeles is driving but is stopped on Third Down at the New England, oh, 45.  Does Sean McVay have Zuerlein kick it from 63 yards to take the lead?  No.  He'll instead go for it on 4th-and-short.  And be it run or pass, the Rams won't make it.
9. Now here is where it gets real interesting.  I think the National Football League is still smarting from the National Football Conference Championship two weeks ago, where Robey-Coleman absolutely plowed through Tommylee Lewis but was not called for Pass Interference.  The officiating crew, an All-Star motley crew arranged from the best of other crews during the regular season, will be told to call Pass Interference if you think there's even a whiff of that happening.  You know who knows that?  Bill Belichick.  So he's going to have Edelman body up on NRC and, on a pass from Tom Brady, Edelman will embellish close contact that will draw a foul on Robey-Coleman -- even though, upon replay, people will determine that it should be a no-call.  That will give New England the ball well within NE Kicker Stephen Gostkowski's range.
10. At the gun, Gostkowski kicks the game-winning Field Goal from 35 yards or less.  Super Bowl LIII Prediction: New England 24, Los Angeles Rams 21.  And Brady is named SB Most Valuable Player.

In other words, I see this going down closer to Super Bowl LI, when the Atlanta Falcons were dominating the Patriots, just to see New England able to chip-chip-chip away and, finally, secure the win late.  That's how I see it.  Now, take it to the bank!

The Fuck?! Is It Blinking?!

OK, so I've delayed in getting the oil in my car changed because even when my car said that my oil only had 5% of life left, I'm thinking, "Shoot, I don't want to waste that oil!"  So I've been driving around and thinking I had, oh, two weeks before it went to 0%.  That's when I'd go to the dealership for an oil change.  I've done that before.  I think.

So coming home from work (with a pit stop at a local pizza place I've wanted to go to) it goes to 0.  But it does more than that.  The "0" on my indicator dashboard starts blinking.  I swear I didn't see it blink the last I did that.  And so it's freaking me out.  Because anything that blinks automatically freaks someone out.  That's why people make things blink.  To freak other people out, and so they'll do something to stop the blinking, and do that fast.

So I'm freaking out.  Too bad tomorrow's Sunday, when the dealership is closed.  And then on Monday I want to go all the way out to Apple Valley for a stripper party.  I don't think the car is going to break down or anything.  But after I parked the car at home I looked through the instructions, and apparently the oil life indicator can actually go below 0, like "-10%."  Now I know I've never driven my car to that level.  What's it going to do then?  Blink faster?  Sound a horn?  Call the cops?  Whatever it is, I'll have to see it for, like, 80 miles on Monday.

And who knows if I can bring it in on Monday.  I haven't been to the website yet to make an appointment, but I doubt there'll be a time Monday when I want.  In fact, who knows if I'll be able to bring it in any time soon.  So in the meantime I'll have this headache of a reminder I can't stop looking away from.  It might prevent me from going places I want to go.  Shit, man, I might not want to go to Apple Valley if I have to see that damn thing blinking in my face the whole time.

And I need to print out a coupon, too!  I'm not gonna pay full price for an oil change!  Where am I gonna find the time to get that?!

My Disrupted But Refreshing Night

Holy shit.  I fell asleep around 6:30 yesterday evening and I woke up at around 1:30 this morning.

I knew I was tired, mostly because I was staying up because the stripper/housemaid came over Thursday at 7 p.m. to clean the house and didn't leave until a quarter to 3.  I knew as soon as she was delayed that this would be a long night.  She has never spent less than eight hours here, so even though we were both joking that neither one of us want her to be here past 2, well, she was, and then some.  She even volunteered to give me a lap dance once she got done.  (That offer was, uh, offered when I stripped myself naked of my clothes so she could do my laundry.)  But only if she had time, and like the few times before, she never has time because it takes her a workday to clean my house.

Not for nothing, I continue to hire her because of how well she does cleaning everything up.  Saying that, it looks as though she missed a few things that I asked her to do ... and it's even more egregious this time around since those things were rooms, namely both my and my parents' bedrooms.  I don't like it, but I wanted ***e* to come clean instead, and she went AWOL.  Besides, at her best, this woman is phenomenal.  My toilet was a mess, but now it's pristine.  And I could see my reflection in the kitchen sink.  I don't think Father can clean that well.

But the downside is that I had to stay up.  And even though I took catnaps of almost an hour before and during her cleaning, I went to bed after she left at around a quarter after 4, so I got only 75 minutes of "sleep" before heading off to work.  Now, I conked off during lunch for the first time in a long time -- helps that it was above zero at the time, but it couldn't have been much higher than that -- but I was still tired by the time I got home from work.  And then I realized that yesterday was the last day State Fair tickets were $11 (they became $12 and will be until the eve of the Fair), so I spent a couple hours on the Internet buying those tickets, then buying Twin Cities Auto Show tickets, and then, what the hell, I bought Sunday tickets to the Women's PGA Championship and the 3M Open, both of which will be held in the summer in the area.

And then it was 6:30 and I was tired, so I fell asleep.  And then I woke up, rejuvenated but disoriented.  My plans for finishing off the rest of my aunt's leftovers from Sunday and/or exercising were dashed.  Oh, well.

Now the problem is is that I have to wake up in, oh, an hour because of am filling in for someone at work, and his shift begins at 6.  So weird -- I was totally tired, so my body forced me to sleep in a whole evening, and it turns out I might be tired again for a second straight day at work.  Huh.